Thoughtless Deluge Mind

ELLE RÊVE✨ 

[rararaanne]

My dear, this isn’t always about you. The dance of Tango is about two people gliding in the same rhythm. If you make this dance all about you, I might as well stop and just watch you glide on your own. 

[joythwrites]

Morning Breeze

No, my love, you are not a firework. For fireworks are rapid, fleeting, bursts of light – beautiful, but passing, loud, but eventually fading.

You are the stars against my deep, dark night skies whose light lives on beyond its death, surpassing lightyears, bursting into wild flames before it retreats into an abysmal kind of beautiful. You are my very own universal mystery, and I am still at awe to love you from afar.

Burn me if you must, swallow me whole and let me die along with your light; I wouldn’t mind, as I still will have been part of your flickering, fiery, life.

[joythwrites]

Epiphany

I dont mean to pry But i wonder if you can tell me why The sea ends by the sky And you smiled as i said good bye

Your eyes they do not offer Condolences of any sort When I told you i didn’t want any other And you only said maybe we should part

So lies had always covered The hands you used to touch And these ribs have caged my exhaust From loving you like a fool, too much

So lust was all you hungered And like a fool, I had given it to you Your skin was seasoned, salted It hid the scars like shadows to the moon

So like a fool I waited For depth to line your skin The love I had just stated Was all it took to cave in

So out the door you went dancing Like glimmer against lake light the haze you and I was once in Passed just as morn to night

And like a fool I took you And let you overflow I had loved you like no other I wish I hadnt let you known

[joythwrites]

“What a waste of heart; why would you want to spend it on somebody who thinks so cheaply, vaguely, selfishly - of love?”

[rararaanne]

Thank you, stay

To the one who have seen  how much of a mess and imperfect I am;

To the one who had believed so much in me at times when I’ve been doubting my entire being;

To the one who would kiss and hug me tight when I feel like I’m falling apart;

To the one who would hold my hands when it trembles with fear and anxiety;

To the one who has made every argument worth resolving;

To the one who would consistently message me every single day;

To the one who respect me and most of all, my family;

To the one who would support me with my cravings even though I’m on a strict diet;

To the one who would make me laugh so hard with corny jokes and punchlines;

To the one who is willing to wait;

To the one who made me feel I am worthy to be loved in every aspect;

To the one who had made me believe in love all over again; 

I still don’t know what did I do in my past life to deserve you today. I have no words to say, cause I have the entire lifetime to show you how much you mean to me. Thank you, stay.. forever. 

[joythtotheworld-blog]

A Good Bye and Welcome of Sorts

Dear Stranger,

I write to you for the last and first time in this new blog – as a way to close out 2014 and welcome the new year with a bang (of words all strewed up in slurry sentences, anyway,) – I deem this only fitting as I had written so much about you in my previous blog - of how I fell frantically in love with your bones and your words, with the way your lashes cast a soft shadow on the hollow of your eyes, the stubble on your cheeks, the way your fingers pressed against my skin; all that and maybe even more, of my love and misadventure with you, perhaps, and the many things we need not reiterate – not in this public space, anyway.

But I write this still to you, as it seems I can only tell stories well when you’re on the other side of the conversation.

2014 was a wonderful year and I cannot thank God enough for the people and experiences that comprise it; to the many quests I undertook that made me grow, urged my heart to humble, my mind to explore, my body to extend its limits and my soul to nibble and feed until I was filled and overflowed. I had gone through pretty odd, amazing, times, but 2014 takes the cake for the best so far – also the most complete when it comes to love (and, as I need not mention, you were a big part of) and I am thrilled to be living surrounded by it.

I had imagined for love to be more magical and exasperating; the kind that grabs you by the breath and lifts your toes to elevate from the ground up – I didn’t realize until the last couple of months that aside from all that wonder, love was also quite a tiresome verb that needed constant practice and, surprisingly, conscious effort, to retain. I am humbled by this fact, and even more grateful, to be able to practice it.

So here I am now, typing away like a mad girl on the loose against my plastic-metal confidant to wish you a fantastic new year filled with joy and all the bountiful, intangible things life has to offer. I love you and I do not wish for you to love me back, only that you love – a little more, or entirely, and let your hope be alive and live on as a new year flourishes as each day goes by. 2014 taught me how to be fearless and I pray you just the same.

I welcome you also to this new blog where, I won’t be writing much about love as I will be about the world and all its wonders – from my travels, poetry and explorations, from people I have loved and who have loved me back, from adventures and random journeys, experiences and new lessons – some kind of a curated chaos of all my filtered musings. I hope it urges you to do the same, to bookkeep your life in a hopeful attempt to keep yourself, and even other strangers, inspired; for what would this world be if not for wonderful tracks left by other amazing beings, human and beyond it, for us to try and tread?

It’s true that we need not a new year to change our path – any moment in our lives when we decide to take on a challenge of change, we can. But there’s just something about a new chapter, writing it consciously for some, and blindly scribbling through it for others, that excites me. A room for growth and change, urged by time and an inevitably moving environment; it’s an incredible time to be alive and I pray that this year we do just that – live.

May every corner of your life be filled with love and joy, and may it overflow. Good bye for now.

Yours always,

Joyce

-

PS

My other blog is not going anywhere. This one is just gonna be more publicly open.

PPS

This sounds better in your head if you play music in the background. 

[rararaanne]

Dear Joyce Pring, you never fail to have me lost in amazing words.. Thanks you, although it’s already 2018, this post is very timely. 

[rararaanne]

Is there even beauty in the pain that we feel, or pain in the beauty that we see?

[olli-dressler-deactivated202109]

Photographer: Oliver Dreßler | instagram

[rararaanne]

It would have been a beautiful summer for me and my sister’s family if I was able to spend it with them in Copenhagen, Denmark. :(

[rararaanne]

What if you have stayed?

There are a lot of moment in our lives, except if you are that kind of person who knows how to cease the moment, have we wondered what have happened if we have said what was supposed to be uttered, or did what we should have done. 

In some certain moment of my existence, I have asked this question to myself.. 

“What if I have stayed?” 

I used to be in an almost relationship, and truth be told, at some point, I can say I never regret being in one. I may sound a little, okay.. more like a masochist, but why would I regret something that once made me happy. I never had the closure I deserve, or so I thought, and maybe you are wondering that this might be the reason behind the question. But let me break it to you, it’s not. 

I have written countless poems and blog entry, like this one, about my almost relationship and I still think it’s a good thing. My friends may perceive me as someone who hasn’t fully moved on from the past, but a million times I will say, I’m so over it. With all honesty, and God knows everything.. I’m through. 

But..

“What if you have stayed?”

You could have been a good partner in crime. “Good” because I know I deserve better. “Good” because I know the best is yet to come. 

You could have been the ideal boyfriend. “Ideal” because you’re just too good to be true, and I never just want to fall to the idea of you.. 

You could have been an exception. “Exception” to the standards I have made, which you have never met a single one. But I know it’s a mistake to make you an exception, a mistake. I have learned that I shouldn’t comprise my standards. 

I have always wanted you to stay, but little did I know, I was the first one who took the first step away from you. Not because I wanted to, but because everything I thought you were was just made up of my expectation. 

“What if you have stayed?” 

it would have been a catastrophe. A beautiful chaos. 

[the-final-sentence]

‘Sad wanderer, weep those blissful times That never may return!’ The lovely floweret seemed to say, And thus it made me mourn.

Anne Brontë, from “The Bluebell” (via the-final-sentence)

[rararaanne]

Mature. I enjoy ice creams on a Disney cartoon themed movie night. I still swoon over Animes, Superheroes, playgrounds, stuff toys and getting a Happy Meal in McDonalds. You see, maturity doesn't happen in just a snap of a finger and by just forgetting about your childhood. It takes time, a pinch of death defying stunts of challenges and problems made bearable by people who will be your sugar, spice and everything nice. True maturity lies in our character and attitude, not only on certain situations, but on constant, consistent interaction with reality. #HelloBirthmonth

[rararaanne]

Youthful. There will always be adoration and beauty in being young, but little did we know, aging is just beyond compare. When one learns to embrace the change that age brings us, our existence will cease to be counted base on years rather on the moment that made us feel alive. #HelloBirthmonth

[rararaanne]

Adventurous. Countless times have I packed my bag and went on a travel with no certain plan in mind. The truth is, being a perfectionist never hindered me to still be spontaneous. There is beauty in seeing what the world has to offer. It's just out there, and it's up to you to find out. #HelloBirthmonth

[rararaanne]

To the one whom I’ll never hear that Apology

There were days when I fooled myself that I can get by the feeling of emptiness that you have given me without writing you anything, but then, I was wrong. Now, I found myself sitting on a coffee shop at 8pm, thoughts flooded with the pain I once had. But what’s more surprising is, it doesn’t hurt anymore. I feel nothing but just the rush of memories.

I really can’t tell who left who, and what should be said by whom. What really matter now is for things to be cleared and ironed out on both of our sides. However, I expect nothing from you.. just like what you’ve been doing for the past years. NOTHING. You have done completely nothing.

Not a single word, action or intent to do anything.. and that’s the most painful part. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame you. It was all in my expectation, and I guess the saying “Expectation hurts” has proven itself correct.

One day I will be able to tell you all the words you deserve to hear and know, but just as you are, I don’t expect your apology. I can’t even imagine you being on your knees and taking a portion of blame on the breakdown of whatever we had in the past.

I hope you have changed, not because of what happened in the past, but because you choose to be a better person than you were before.. but if not, I guess everything happened in vain. That will be such a bummer.

I blame you nothing on what I have become, but I’m thankful for the pain that you had caused me which lead me to who I am at the moment. There were days when I would wake up from a dream which all feels so real physically and emotionally. Those dreams where you would appear and tell the words I wanted to hear, held me so tight that your warmth lasts as if you were with me and those unspoken emotions I can see in your eyes. There were mornings I would wake up frustrated or even upset knowing those moments will only be seen and real in my unconscious, or worst, in my wildest dreams.

However, those frustrations starts to become my motivation to forgive – myself.

To forgive myself for being too selfless..

To forgive myself for thinking of giving you another chance..

To forgive myself for once loving you with my entire being..

I wouldn’t say that things are better left unsaid, cause the truth is, that sucks.. cause the truth is, you deserve to know all of these. Even though it’s quite unfair in my part for not even having the apology I deserve, my life still deserves to go on.

So, for the one whom I’ll never hear that apology, you have been forgiven a long time ago. I have set you free even before you knew it.

[rararaanne]

One of the many reasons I fell in love with my workplace and the city itself. Oh how nature never fails to fascinate me! 😍🍃💕 #unfilteredbeauty #malaybalay #buksu #nature

[rararaanne]

Believe me, it's the most amazing thing that will ever happen to you. ✨💕 #WonderfulWednesday

[rararaanne]

When someone prayed for love, courage and strength, God doesn't just zap us with these instantly. Instead, He gives us opportunity. And guess what, I'm loving mine! 💕✨