I’m Still Here

A Fantasy Shinsou rp

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

I’m not dead. Which is an awful surprise considering how many people wrote my obituary yesterday

My name is Hitoshi Shinsou.

I use pronouns, like most people do. He/Him for me. Though I suppose They/Them works as well.

I am a solider. I got drafted into the war sometime ago. Apparently they have decided to take me out of it though.

They seem to be concerned about something.

It really isn’t that big of a deal.

I do wish I could go back to fighting though. I went in when my friend did, and haven’t seen him since.

Speaking of the war, I do not recall much of the battles. I find that odd, but I suppose I must be grateful to not remember.

My memory seems to be getting worse

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Ooc:

Blog by @jaskiers-mha-hideout

Basically he has a ring that he always wears that keeps him alive. Every time he dies, his memory gets worse, but he always remembers Kaminari

Oh, also, he doesn’t remember his death. Nor does he know that he did die. And he never will remember

[elfagito]

every friend group has a corpse in it. if you think yours doesn't, YOU'RE the corpse.

[laterkiss]

i have this deadly sickness called remembering

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

Kaminari nodded. "I guess..." he said, twisting his ring around. "But, before we go... I love you, romantically." If he was going to be killed when he was taken back, he'd want Shinsou to know, to remember, to not die because Kaminari was too much of a coward and killed him. "I want to kiss you, touch you, I'd want to marry you!"

It was a desperate confession, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to say it again if he got taken in. But he already knew how Shinsou felt, so he could be ready for the rejection.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

The confession made Shinsou sick. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous, an aching pain in his heart as though he had been shot. Kaminari couldn’t like him, because Shinsou wasn’t a woman. It wasn’t allowed. Maybe Kaminari was just confused. That was the only logical thing. Confusion, enemy of the mind. And given the war, it would make sense. Right?

All he did was nod. Any words he tried to say were futile. Kaminari wasn’t allowed to like him. There were so many better people to like. There were women.

[pisces-marionette]

He knew that expression, he's seen it too many times. "I don't care that we're both men! I love you more than any way I have felt towards women! You're beautiful and I want to cherish you." He grabbed Shinsou's hand, he's had time to think about how to do this, but he hasn't. "And if I get taken back, we know I will die, so forget morality and tell me how you feel!"

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

He couldn’t.

It was simple. Shinsou couldn’t say it. Liking men was sinful, something that other men were not allowed to do. And Shinsou wasn’t a holy man. Not typically. He had thoughts than no holy man should have. He had killed people.

But he couldn’t say his feelings. Those were wrong. He would be killed for it. “I… can’t, Denki. I don’t want to harm you. I-” don’t want to lose you. He couldn’t even finish it.

[pisces-marionette]

He nodded. "It's okay." He hugged Shinsou, even with the rejection, he couldn't help but want the physical comfort he can get from him. "I understand."

He wanted to kiss him again, but if Shinsou didn't like him back, he wouldn't, unlike his previous times.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Kaminari so close felt wrong. He didn’t deserve the man’s company. He was hurt. Shinsou was a terrible excuse of a friend. Everything about him was wrong, broken, like he came out of the war with pieces stitched together. He was tearing his life apart.

[pisces-marionette]

Pulling back slightly, Kaminari brushed some of Shinsou's hair back to get a better look at him. "Hitoshi, if I die, I need you to promise me something." Maybe he could at least get Shinsou to do more than just die over and over. Try to give him meaning.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” He couldn’t die. Even in Kaminari was friends with someone else, he was still Shinsou’s tether. The thing keeping him from immediately jumping back to war.

[pisces-marionette]

"Hitoshi, please. If I die, I want you to write a book, a biography about your life. Or keep journals and have them published before you die or after by a friend." If he wrote about his life, his memory could improve, right? It might not help him remember the deaths, but he wanted to help him improve everything else.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Okay. I can do that. But you aren’t going to die. You won’t.” Shinsou wouldn’t let him. If he lived, he could watch him write. The two could just exist. Shinsou needed him to live. That was all he wanted. All he ever needed.

[pisces-marionette]

"We can't control that. Just keep that promise, please." He's already ruined Shinsou so much, begging for him to do something to help wasn't even the least he could do.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” That was final. He wasn’t allowed to. It wasn’t his time. No one needed to die. Shinsou could talk to the knight. It would be okay.

[pisces-marionette]

"You could start writing anyways, maybe even teach me how to read?" It might be fun to learn more than just the words on maps or directions, "could be nice." And he'd be able to spend more time with Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

That would be nice, wouldn’t it. Not teaching him to read, but spending time together. Learning to read was frustrating, something Shinsou never wanted to have to do again. He was glad to have it over with. “That would be nice. You could help me.”

[pisces-marionette]

"How would I help you?" If Shinsou taught him everything, they'd be equal, he didn't know how it'd help.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“I need someone to proofread my studies.” Not as much as he used to, but still. Kaminari could do it.

[pisces-marionette]

"I can absolutely do that much." He'd be happy to read anything Shinsou gave him, at least when he knew how.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Thank you. Would you like to… go now?”

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

Kaminari nodded. "I guess..." he said, twisting his ring around. "But, before we go... I love you, romantically." If he was going to be killed when he was taken back, he'd want Shinsou to know, to remember, to not die because Kaminari was too much of a coward and killed him. "I want to kiss you, touch you, I'd want to marry you!"

It was a desperate confession, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to say it again if he got taken in. But he already knew how Shinsou felt, so he could be ready for the rejection.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

The confession made Shinsou sick. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous, an aching pain in his heart as though he had been shot. Kaminari couldn’t like him, because Shinsou wasn’t a woman. It wasn’t allowed. Maybe Kaminari was just confused. That was the only logical thing. Confusion, enemy of the mind. And given the war, it would make sense. Right?

All he did was nod. Any words he tried to say were futile. Kaminari wasn’t allowed to like him. There were so many better people to like. There were women.

[pisces-marionette]

He knew that expression, he's seen it too many times. "I don't care that we're both men! I love you more than any way I have felt towards women! You're beautiful and I want to cherish you." He grabbed Shinsou's hand, he's had time to think about how to do this, but he hasn't. "And if I get taken back, we know I will die, so forget morality and tell me how you feel!"

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

He couldn’t.

It was simple. Shinsou couldn’t say it. Liking men was sinful, something that other men were not allowed to do. And Shinsou wasn’t a holy man. Not typically. He had thoughts than no holy man should have. He had killed people.

But he couldn’t say his feelings. Those were wrong. He would be killed for it. “I… can’t, Denki. I don’t want to harm you. I-” don’t want to lose you. He couldn’t even finish it.

[pisces-marionette]

He nodded. "It's okay." He hugged Shinsou, even with the rejection, he couldn't help but want the physical comfort he can get from him. "I understand."

He wanted to kiss him again, but if Shinsou didn't like him back, he wouldn't, unlike his previous times.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Kaminari so close felt wrong. He didn’t deserve the man’s company. He was hurt. Shinsou was a terrible excuse of a friend. Everything about him was wrong, broken, like he came out of the war with pieces stitched together. He was tearing his life apart.

[pisces-marionette]

Pulling back slightly, Kaminari brushed some of Shinsou's hair back to get a better look at him. "Hitoshi, if I die, I need you to promise me something." Maybe he could at least get Shinsou to do more than just die over and over. Try to give him meaning.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” He couldn’t die. Even in Kaminari was friends with someone else, he was still Shinsou’s tether. The thing keeping him from immediately jumping back to war.

[pisces-marionette]

"Hitoshi, please. If I die, I want you to write a book, a biography about your life. Or keep journals and have them published before you die or after by a friend." If he wrote about his life, his memory could improve, right? It might not help him remember the deaths, but he wanted to help him improve everything else.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Okay. I can do that. But you aren’t going to die. You won’t.” Shinsou wouldn’t let him. If he lived, he could watch him write. The two could just exist. Shinsou needed him to live. That was all he wanted. All he ever needed.

[pisces-marionette]

"We can't control that. Just keep that promise, please." He's already ruined Shinsou so much, begging for him to do something to help wasn't even the least he could do.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” That was final. He wasn’t allowed to. It wasn’t his time. No one needed to die. Shinsou could talk to the knight. It would be okay.

[pisces-marionette]

"You could start writing anyways, maybe even teach me how to read?" It might be fun to learn more than just the words on maps or directions, "could be nice." And he'd be able to spend more time with Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

That would be nice, wouldn’t it. Not teaching him to read, but spending time together. Learning to read was frustrating, something Shinsou never wanted to have to do again. He was glad to have it over with. “That would be nice. You could help me.”

[pisces-marionette]

"How would I help you?" If Shinsou taught him everything, they'd be equal, he didn't know how it'd help.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“I need someone to proofread my studies.” Not as much as he used to, but still. Kaminari could do it.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

Kaminari nodded. "I guess..." he said, twisting his ring around. "But, before we go... I love you, romantically." If he was going to be killed when he was taken back, he'd want Shinsou to know, to remember, to not die because Kaminari was too much of a coward and killed him. "I want to kiss you, touch you, I'd want to marry you!"

It was a desperate confession, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to say it again if he got taken in. But he already knew how Shinsou felt, so he could be ready for the rejection.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

The confession made Shinsou sick. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous, an aching pain in his heart as though he had been shot. Kaminari couldn’t like him, because Shinsou wasn’t a woman. It wasn’t allowed. Maybe Kaminari was just confused. That was the only logical thing. Confusion, enemy of the mind. And given the war, it would make sense. Right?

All he did was nod. Any words he tried to say were futile. Kaminari wasn’t allowed to like him. There were so many better people to like. There were women.

[pisces-marionette]

He knew that expression, he's seen it too many times. "I don't care that we're both men! I love you more than any way I have felt towards women! You're beautiful and I want to cherish you." He grabbed Shinsou's hand, he's had time to think about how to do this, but he hasn't. "And if I get taken back, we know I will die, so forget morality and tell me how you feel!"

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

He couldn’t.

It was simple. Shinsou couldn’t say it. Liking men was sinful, something that other men were not allowed to do. And Shinsou wasn’t a holy man. Not typically. He had thoughts than no holy man should have. He had killed people.

But he couldn’t say his feelings. Those were wrong. He would be killed for it. “I… can’t, Denki. I don’t want to harm you. I-” don’t want to lose you. He couldn’t even finish it.

[pisces-marionette]

He nodded. "It's okay." He hugged Shinsou, even with the rejection, he couldn't help but want the physical comfort he can get from him. "I understand."

He wanted to kiss him again, but if Shinsou didn't like him back, he wouldn't, unlike his previous times.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Kaminari so close felt wrong. He didn’t deserve the man’s company. He was hurt. Shinsou was a terrible excuse of a friend. Everything about him was wrong, broken, like he came out of the war with pieces stitched together. He was tearing his life apart.

[pisces-marionette]

Pulling back slightly, Kaminari brushed some of Shinsou's hair back to get a better look at him. "Hitoshi, if I die, I need you to promise me something." Maybe he could at least get Shinsou to do more than just die over and over. Try to give him meaning.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” He couldn’t die. Even in Kaminari was friends with someone else, he was still Shinsou’s tether. The thing keeping him from immediately jumping back to war.

[pisces-marionette]

"Hitoshi, please. If I die, I want you to write a book, a biography about your life. Or keep journals and have them published before you die or after by a friend." If he wrote about his life, his memory could improve, right? It might not help him remember the deaths, but he wanted to help him improve everything else.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Okay. I can do that. But you aren’t going to die. You won’t.” Shinsou wouldn’t let him. If he lived, he could watch him write. The two could just exist. Shinsou needed him to live. That was all he wanted. All he ever needed.

[pisces-marionette]

"We can't control that. Just keep that promise, please." He's already ruined Shinsou so much, begging for him to do something to help wasn't even the least he could do.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” That was final. He wasn’t allowed to. It wasn’t his time. No one needed to die. Shinsou could talk to the knight. It would be okay.

[pisces-marionette]

"You could start writing anyways, maybe even teach me how to read?" It might be fun to learn more than just the words on maps or directions, "could be nice." And he'd be able to spend more time with Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

That would be nice, wouldn’t it. Not teaching him to read, but spending time together. Learning to read was frustrating, something Shinsou never wanted to have to do again. He was glad to have it over with. “That would be nice. You could help me.”

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

Kaminari nodded. "I guess..." he said, twisting his ring around. "But, before we go... I love you, romantically." If he was going to be killed when he was taken back, he'd want Shinsou to know, to remember, to not die because Kaminari was too much of a coward and killed him. "I want to kiss you, touch you, I'd want to marry you!"

It was a desperate confession, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to say it again if he got taken in. But he already knew how Shinsou felt, so he could be ready for the rejection.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

The confession made Shinsou sick. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous, an aching pain in his heart as though he had been shot. Kaminari couldn’t like him, because Shinsou wasn’t a woman. It wasn’t allowed. Maybe Kaminari was just confused. That was the only logical thing. Confusion, enemy of the mind. And given the war, it would make sense. Right?

All he did was nod. Any words he tried to say were futile. Kaminari wasn’t allowed to like him. There were so many better people to like. There were women.

[pisces-marionette]

He knew that expression, he's seen it too many times. "I don't care that we're both men! I love you more than any way I have felt towards women! You're beautiful and I want to cherish you." He grabbed Shinsou's hand, he's had time to think about how to do this, but he hasn't. "And if I get taken back, we know I will die, so forget morality and tell me how you feel!"

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

He couldn’t.

It was simple. Shinsou couldn’t say it. Liking men was sinful, something that other men were not allowed to do. And Shinsou wasn’t a holy man. Not typically. He had thoughts than no holy man should have. He had killed people.

But he couldn’t say his feelings. Those were wrong. He would be killed for it. “I… can’t, Denki. I don’t want to harm you. I-” don’t want to lose you. He couldn’t even finish it.

[pisces-marionette]

He nodded. "It's okay." He hugged Shinsou, even with the rejection, he couldn't help but want the physical comfort he can get from him. "I understand."

He wanted to kiss him again, but if Shinsou didn't like him back, he wouldn't, unlike his previous times.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Kaminari so close felt wrong. He didn’t deserve the man’s company. He was hurt. Shinsou was a terrible excuse of a friend. Everything about him was wrong, broken, like he came out of the war with pieces stitched together. He was tearing his life apart.

[pisces-marionette]

Pulling back slightly, Kaminari brushed some of Shinsou's hair back to get a better look at him. "Hitoshi, if I die, I need you to promise me something." Maybe he could at least get Shinsou to do more than just die over and over. Try to give him meaning.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” He couldn’t die. Even in Kaminari was friends with someone else, he was still Shinsou’s tether. The thing keeping him from immediately jumping back to war.

[pisces-marionette]

"Hitoshi, please. If I die, I want you to write a book, a biography about your life. Or keep journals and have them published before you die or after by a friend." If he wrote about his life, his memory could improve, right? It might not help him remember the deaths, but he wanted to help him improve everything else.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Okay. I can do that. But you aren’t going to die. You won’t.” Shinsou wouldn’t let him. If he lived, he could watch him write. The two could just exist. Shinsou needed him to live. That was all he wanted. All he ever needed.

[pisces-marionette]

"We can't control that. Just keep that promise, please." He's already ruined Shinsou so much, begging for him to do something to help wasn't even the least he could do.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” That was final. He wasn’t allowed to. It wasn’t his time. No one needed to die. Shinsou could talk to the knight. It would be okay.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

Kaminari nodded. "I guess..." he said, twisting his ring around. "But, before we go... I love you, romantically." If he was going to be killed when he was taken back, he'd want Shinsou to know, to remember, to not die because Kaminari was too much of a coward and killed him. "I want to kiss you, touch you, I'd want to marry you!"

It was a desperate confession, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to say it again if he got taken in. But he already knew how Shinsou felt, so he could be ready for the rejection.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

The confession made Shinsou sick. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous, an aching pain in his heart as though he had been shot. Kaminari couldn’t like him, because Shinsou wasn’t a woman. It wasn’t allowed. Maybe Kaminari was just confused. That was the only logical thing. Confusion, enemy of the mind. And given the war, it would make sense. Right?

All he did was nod. Any words he tried to say were futile. Kaminari wasn’t allowed to like him. There were so many better people to like. There were women.

[pisces-marionette]

He knew that expression, he's seen it too many times. "I don't care that we're both men! I love you more than any way I have felt towards women! You're beautiful and I want to cherish you." He grabbed Shinsou's hand, he's had time to think about how to do this, but he hasn't. "And if I get taken back, we know I will die, so forget morality and tell me how you feel!"

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

He couldn’t.

It was simple. Shinsou couldn’t say it. Liking men was sinful, something that other men were not allowed to do. And Shinsou wasn’t a holy man. Not typically. He had thoughts than no holy man should have. He had killed people.

But he couldn’t say his feelings. Those were wrong. He would be killed for it. “I… can’t, Denki. I don’t want to harm you. I-” don’t want to lose you. He couldn’t even finish it.

[pisces-marionette]

He nodded. "It's okay." He hugged Shinsou, even with the rejection, he couldn't help but want the physical comfort he can get from him. "I understand."

He wanted to kiss him again, but if Shinsou didn't like him back, he wouldn't, unlike his previous times.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Kaminari so close felt wrong. He didn’t deserve the man’s company. He was hurt. Shinsou was a terrible excuse of a friend. Everything about him was wrong, broken, like he came out of the war with pieces stitched together. He was tearing his life apart.

[pisces-marionette]

Pulling back slightly, Kaminari brushed some of Shinsou's hair back to get a better look at him. "Hitoshi, if I die, I need you to promise me something." Maybe he could at least get Shinsou to do more than just die over and over. Try to give him meaning.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” He couldn’t die. Even in Kaminari was friends with someone else, he was still Shinsou’s tether. The thing keeping him from immediately jumping back to war.

[pisces-marionette]

"Hitoshi, please. If I die, I want you to write a book, a biography about your life. Or keep journals and have them published before you die or after by a friend." If he wrote about his life, his memory could improve, right? It might not help him remember the deaths, but he wanted to help him improve everything else.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Okay. I can do that. But you aren’t going to die. You won’t.” Shinsou wouldn’t let him. If he lived, he could watch him write. The two could just exist. Shinsou needed him to live. That was all he wanted. All he ever needed.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

Kaminari nodded. "I guess..." he said, twisting his ring around. "But, before we go... I love you, romantically." If he was going to be killed when he was taken back, he'd want Shinsou to know, to remember, to not die because Kaminari was too much of a coward and killed him. "I want to kiss you, touch you, I'd want to marry you!"

It was a desperate confession, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to say it again if he got taken in. But he already knew how Shinsou felt, so he could be ready for the rejection.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

The confession made Shinsou sick. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous, an aching pain in his heart as though he had been shot. Kaminari couldn’t like him, because Shinsou wasn’t a woman. It wasn’t allowed. Maybe Kaminari was just confused. That was the only logical thing. Confusion, enemy of the mind. And given the war, it would make sense. Right?

All he did was nod. Any words he tried to say were futile. Kaminari wasn’t allowed to like him. There were so many better people to like. There were women.

[pisces-marionette]

He knew that expression, he's seen it too many times. "I don't care that we're both men! I love you more than any way I have felt towards women! You're beautiful and I want to cherish you." He grabbed Shinsou's hand, he's had time to think about how to do this, but he hasn't. "And if I get taken back, we know I will die, so forget morality and tell me how you feel!"

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

He couldn’t.

It was simple. Shinsou couldn’t say it. Liking men was sinful, something that other men were not allowed to do. And Shinsou wasn’t a holy man. Not typically. He had thoughts than no holy man should have. He had killed people.

But he couldn’t say his feelings. Those were wrong. He would be killed for it. “I… can’t, Denki. I don’t want to harm you. I-” don’t want to lose you. He couldn’t even finish it.

[pisces-marionette]

He nodded. "It's okay." He hugged Shinsou, even with the rejection, he couldn't help but want the physical comfort he can get from him. "I understand."

He wanted to kiss him again, but if Shinsou didn't like him back, he wouldn't, unlike his previous times.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Kaminari so close felt wrong. He didn’t deserve the man’s company. He was hurt. Shinsou was a terrible excuse of a friend. Everything about him was wrong, broken, like he came out of the war with pieces stitched together. He was tearing his life apart.

[pisces-marionette]

Pulling back slightly, Kaminari brushed some of Shinsou's hair back to get a better look at him. "Hitoshi, if I die, I need you to promise me something." Maybe he could at least get Shinsou to do more than just die over and over. Try to give him meaning.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“You won’t die.” He couldn’t die. Even in Kaminari was friends with someone else, he was still Shinsou’s tether. The thing keeping him from immediately jumping back to war.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

Kaminari nodded. "I guess..." he said, twisting his ring around. "But, before we go... I love you, romantically." If he was going to be killed when he was taken back, he'd want Shinsou to know, to remember, to not die because Kaminari was too much of a coward and killed him. "I want to kiss you, touch you, I'd want to marry you!"

It was a desperate confession, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to say it again if he got taken in. But he already knew how Shinsou felt, so he could be ready for the rejection.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

The confession made Shinsou sick. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous, an aching pain in his heart as though he had been shot. Kaminari couldn’t like him, because Shinsou wasn’t a woman. It wasn’t allowed. Maybe Kaminari was just confused. That was the only logical thing. Confusion, enemy of the mind. And given the war, it would make sense. Right?

All he did was nod. Any words he tried to say were futile. Kaminari wasn’t allowed to like him. There were so many better people to like. There were women.

[pisces-marionette]

He knew that expression, he's seen it too many times. "I don't care that we're both men! I love you more than any way I have felt towards women! You're beautiful and I want to cherish you." He grabbed Shinsou's hand, he's had time to think about how to do this, but he hasn't. "And if I get taken back, we know I will die, so forget morality and tell me how you feel!"

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

He couldn’t.

It was simple. Shinsou couldn’t say it. Liking men was sinful, something that other men were not allowed to do. And Shinsou wasn’t a holy man. Not typically. He had thoughts than no holy man should have. He had killed people.

But he couldn’t say his feelings. Those were wrong. He would be killed for it. “I… can’t, Denki. I don’t want to harm you. I-” don’t want to lose you. He couldn’t even finish it.

[pisces-marionette]

He nodded. "It's okay." He hugged Shinsou, even with the rejection, he couldn't help but want the physical comfort he can get from him. "I understand."

He wanted to kiss him again, but if Shinsou didn't like him back, he wouldn't, unlike his previous times.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Kaminari so close felt wrong. He didn’t deserve the man’s company. He was hurt. Shinsou was a terrible excuse of a friend. Everything about him was wrong, broken, like he came out of the war with pieces stitched together. He was tearing his life apart.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

Kaminari nodded. "I guess..." he said, twisting his ring around. "But, before we go... I love you, romantically." If he was going to be killed when he was taken back, he'd want Shinsou to know, to remember, to not die because Kaminari was too much of a coward and killed him. "I want to kiss you, touch you, I'd want to marry you!"

It was a desperate confession, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to say it again if he got taken in. But he already knew how Shinsou felt, so he could be ready for the rejection.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

The confession made Shinsou sick. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous, an aching pain in his heart as though he had been shot. Kaminari couldn’t like him, because Shinsou wasn’t a woman. It wasn’t allowed. Maybe Kaminari was just confused. That was the only logical thing. Confusion, enemy of the mind. And given the war, it would make sense. Right?

All he did was nod. Any words he tried to say were futile. Kaminari wasn’t allowed to like him. There were so many better people to like. There were women.

[pisces-marionette]

He knew that expression, he's seen it too many times. "I don't care that we're both men! I love you more than any way I have felt towards women! You're beautiful and I want to cherish you." He grabbed Shinsou's hand, he's had time to think about how to do this, but he hasn't. "And if I get taken back, we know I will die, so forget morality and tell me how you feel!"

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

He couldn’t.

It was simple. Shinsou couldn’t say it. Liking men was sinful, something that other men were not allowed to do. And Shinsou wasn’t a holy man. Not typically. He had thoughts than no holy man should have. He had killed people.

But he couldn’t say his feelings. Those were wrong. He would be killed for it. “I… can’t, Denki. I don’t want to harm you. I-” don’t want to lose you. He couldn’t even finish it.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

Kaminari nodded. "I guess..." he said, twisting his ring around. "But, before we go... I love you, romantically." If he was going to be killed when he was taken back, he'd want Shinsou to know, to remember, to not die because Kaminari was too much of a coward and killed him. "I want to kiss you, touch you, I'd want to marry you!"

It was a desperate confession, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to say it again if he got taken in. But he already knew how Shinsou felt, so he could be ready for the rejection.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

The confession made Shinsou sick. He didn’t know why, but it made him nervous, an aching pain in his heart as though he had been shot. Kaminari couldn’t like him, because Shinsou wasn’t a woman. It wasn’t allowed. Maybe Kaminari was just confused. That was the only logical thing. Confusion, enemy of the mind. And given the war, it would make sense. Right?

All he did was nod. Any words he tried to say were futile. Kaminari wasn’t allowed to like him. There were so many better people to like. There were women.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

He took a deep breath and picked up his hat, it didn't stop him from crying, or the feeling of vomit stuck in his throat. "Hitoshi... I'm sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this." He was a burden to Shinsou, all he has done for him was help him become a scholar, and even that wasn't permanent.

He was tempted to give him his ring and let him do whatever he wanted without worrying for him. If Shinsou wanted to die in war over and over, that was his choice.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou didn’t look at Kaminari. Not yet. He still was trying to figure out how to make it right, what to do. Kaminari needed that bloody siren far more than he needed Shinsou. At least he seemed happy around the murderous creature. He couldn’t say the same about when he was around.

“I just think we should go back. Your friend is there.” Was that not reason enough?

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

He pushed him away. "No! I can't go back! I'm not like you, I can't!" He sat down on the ground, rubbing his eyes trying not to cry, showing a weakness like that, especially not infront Shinsou.

It wasn't fair to Shinsou, he shouldn't have to deal with him like this. He deserved better than someone like him, and if Shinsou wanted to back to war, then he should, Kaminari was just dead weight.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou sighed, but didn’t move from his spot. That’s not to say that he did choose to respond to Kaminari. There was nothing he could say to make it better. Shinsou wasn’t known for how he could comfort people. He knew how to do it, but putting the concept into action never seemed to work.

He was stuck.

Instead, he fidgeted with his ring, twisting it in circles. Normally he had more composure, didn’t need to do such a thing to deal with people. He was a scholar, and people were something he had to grow to exist near without causing conflict.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

"No! You don't understand! You never could because you're memory is the worst!" Shinsou doesn't and can never know what he saw. His friend. His best friend and man who captured his heart was blown up infront of him.

He may have killed Shinsou before, but he knew he'd come back! And he made sure to keep it ss painless as he could.

Sometimes it felt like some of the burnt flesh was still on his face no matter how hard he tried to wash it off.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

His memory wasn’t that bad. Sure, he forgot things, but he couldn’t forget the war. Forget everything that it was. It was impossible. Completely, utterly impossible. People got hurt, but they were doing good.

“Denki, please just—” listen. He wanted the man to listen but the words wouldn’t come out. They couldn’t. His friend was upset, and it was his fault.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.

[pisces-marionette]

"I'M NOT GOING BACK!" He yelled. There was no way he'd risk going back, not ever again. "I CAN'T!" He threw his hat off his head and started stomping on it, trying to take out whatever he was feeling onto it.

The whole thing made him want to throw up, to vomit his guts out. He couldn't watch people he cared about die again. He couldn't watch people explode infront of him. Shinsou at least had the decency to come back to life for him.

"Don't make me go back."

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

Shinsou raised his eyebrows at the tantrum. It was not like him to do that. Not over that. It was such a small thing. “Denki, I’m not going to make you do that. But your friend— Denki, you can’t leave… them.”

He wanted to go back. To talk. To have someone who could take him back to the war, letting him do everything he could for his people. A scholar was nothing in times of war, and if he could just help.

The small sacrifice of pretending the siren had feelings was all he could offer.

[pisces-marionette]

It didn't take too long to get everything they needed, so heading back to the campsite wasn't an issue. What was an issue was seeing a new person there. People at his campsite meant he could be caught. But Sero would be in danger, but if he was taken back, then he'd be as good as dead.

All he could do was drop his stuff and run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. Sero could handle himself. Sero was stronger and braver than he could ever be. Kaminari just ran and ran as fast as he could, further and further away.

The only thing stopping him from running while out of breath was Shinsou.

[rated-r-for-reanimation]

“Denki. Come on.” He didn’t agree with running away. Not from battle. Not from anything. Especially not for a knight. Sirens were scary, but if the knight was there, it had to be fine. That damned creature couldn’t be that bad.

He was out of breath. It was odd, he could have sworn he would be able to do this. Hadn’t that asthma been fixed. Right? He saw some man to fix it. Surely it’d be okay. It had to be.