mr. and mrs. abbot - assassin!pope x assassin!readerÂ
word count: 5.2k
warnings: dead dove: do not eat, femme fatale!reader, extremely dubious consent (bc would either of you consented if you had known the other was also an assassin? oop-), âjack abbotâ doesn't exist bc he's actually pope's fake identity!, he calls you âhoneyâ and you call him âsirâ, gun violence, murder, blood and gore, established relationship, deception, mutual pining, angst (with a happy ending!), domestic fluff, praise kink, mild brat taming, dom/sub dynamics, unprotected sex, breeding kink, squirting, spit kink, edging, fingerfucking, bondage, gun play (but tamer than usual lol!), choking, pope makes a lot of bad jokes (he's silly and in love!), it's actually lowkey mushy cutesy bc I just am in that kind of mood lately!Â
summary: you are an assassin but your husband thinks you're just a corporate executive. your husband is an assassin but you think he's just a doctor.Â
so what happens when you find out your husband's real identity and he finds out yours because your companies want you to kill each other?Â
a/n: i came up with this after seeing mr. and mrs. smith while browsing tv and i just had to write it!Â
hope it's a sick(ly sweet) read âĄÂ
âMrs. Abbot?â The pharmacist waves their hand in front of your face. âAre you feeling alright?â
You're staring down at your phone right now. At the bounty your company just set out on your burner.Â
For a man named Andrew Cody.Â
Better known by his call sign âPopeâ.Â
Who looks exactly like your husband JackâŠ
âHmm?â You glance up from your phone, remembering for a moment where you are. âOh, right. Sorry, just got a business text. A little distracted.âÂ
A clever excuse, like always, given your formal attire and the fact that you do actually work for a Fortune 500 company. You look like any corporate executive would if they were in line for a prescription at a pharmacy. Definitely not like an assassin for hire staring at a kill orderâŠ
âDo you need me to explain the medication to you before I sign off on it?â They show you the bottle of sleeping pills you always take on the nights Jack isn't home.Â
Because it's always hard for you to sleep when he's not there next to youâŠÂ
âNo, I'm alright.â You tell them and they nod, handing you the medication once they've signed off on it.Â
You take it out of the paper bag when you get to your car and stuff the pill bottle into your glove box.Â
You can't possibly take those now.
Not when you have no idea who your husband isâŠ
So, you call your handler. âWho is this guy?â
âCompetition.â The robotic voice on the other end answers.Â
âLast known?âÂ
âOceanside, CA.âÂ
You and Jack are a long way from there. On the complete opposite coastâŠ
âTime frame?âÂ
âASAP.â So, that's why it was sent to youâŠ
You have the highest record of kills done in the shortest amount of time. Always so efficient. You knew it would bite you in the ass one dayâŠÂ
âI'm retired, though.âÂ
âYou're the only one capable of doing this within the desired time frame.âÂ
âWhy?â You know they're not going to answer but you ask anyway, clarifying, âwhat's the rush?âÂ
âWe have intel he is planning to kill one of our own.â
You wonder who it can be.Â
Because you would've never guessed that it would be you.
Pope stares down, much like you had earlier, in disbelief at the photo on his screen.Â
That's you, his wife, on his burner beneath the bounty just sent to him.Â
But that isn't the name you gave him.Â
Call sign âPearlâ.Â
Because you excel under pressure.Â
A top assassin. Clean kills. Perfect record.Â
Just like PopeâŠÂ
âJack?â Robby tries to glance over Pope's shoulder but he shoves his phone in his locker and shuts it before Robby can see anything. âAlright, keep your secrets.â
âMy wife just sent something I shouldn't open at work.â Pope lies through his teeth but Robby always believes it.Â
Since Pope talks about you all the time at work. He loves you, after all.Â
He loves being a doctor, too.Â
He hates being an assassin. He had quit when the two of you got married.Â
So, why is he getting sent a bounty now?Â
âShe's a high priority target.â Pope's handler tells him when he calls after his night shift. Call sign âSmurfâ. âWe need her dealt with, so we need our best.âÂ
âWhy the urgency?â Pope wants to know.Â
Smurf replies, âwe have intel she's after one of our own.â
He wonders who it could be.Â
Because he'll never guess that you, his pretty wife waiting for him at home, are supposed to be going after him.Â
You've been sitting at the dining table, nursing a glass of wine, since you got home from the pharmacy.Â
You haven't eaten.Â
You couldn't sleep.Â
You can't even stomach the wine that's sitting untouched on the table.Â
You keep thinking about your husband Jack.Â
But you know that's not his real name.Â
Andrew is his real name. Though, everyone in the world of hitmen calls him Pope.Â
The ever elusive Pope. An elite assassin who has been out of commission for years now.Â
Around the same time the two of you got marriedâŠthe same time you retired tooâŠ
You blink back more tears because you're trying to convince yourself that the foolish thoughts in your head can't possibly be true.Â
That maybe he quit killing people because he's actually in love with you.Â
Like you're in love with him.Â
Fuck. You know that can't be true.Â
Pope is known to be heartless. Ruthless. A born killer. The best of the best at torturing his targets for information.
Nothing like the man you married, Jack Abbot.
Decorated veteran. Emergency medicine doctor. Caring, kind, loving husband of yoursâŠÂ
How much of that was real?Â
And how much of it was a cover?
Does he knowâŠwho you are?Â
There's no way. And if he did, what's the goal of playing the long game?Â
If he wanted you dead, why would he go through all the extra hoops of taking you out on dates? Marrying you? Making love to you?Â
Because he loves you. Your mind tries to feed you delusions.
You are delusionalâŠbecause you can't find it in you to kill him.Â
Even though you have to, before it gets reassigned and someone else does.Â
And they won't be so mercifulâŠ
âHoney?â You hear your husband's voice call out to you.Â
Is it really morning already?
âWhat's wrong?â Pope sees the untouched wine glass and your puffy eyes.Â
So, you make something up quickly. âThe pharmacy didn't have any pills left in stock to fill my prescription. Couldn't sleep without them.â
Couldn't sleep without him. You hate that you love sleeping next to JackâPope.Â
His name is Pope. Jack doesn't exist.Â
The man you love was just a coverâŠ
For what? You might never find out.Â
âCome on, let's go to bed. I'll go get your pills for you after a nap.â He puts his hand out for you to take.Â
And you take it without hesitation. Force of habit.Â
Pope doesn't notice anything off about you, which is good. He is used to you not sleeping well without your pills. You get bad nightmares if you sleep unmedicated.Â
That's why you like sleeping next to him. You never get nightmares for some reason. Probably because his warmth comforts you.Â
The thought of feeling his skin cold because you had to kill him makes you want to throw upâŠÂ
You actually do throw up, right into the toilet in the bathroom. Pope gently holds back your hair, helping you with a light shoulder rub.Â
âAre you alright, honey?â Now Pope is worried.Â
Because the two of you were trying for a baby. And if you're pregnant right nowâŠwith his childâŠhow is he possibly supposed to kill you?Â
âNo, I'm not alright.â You wipe the tears that are dripping down your face uncontrollably. âI'm scared.âÂ
âAbout what?â He kneels down next to you. âTalk to me.âÂ
You look him in the eyes, in those beautiful hazel eyes you fell in love with, and you want to tell him the truth.Â
That you're supposed to kill him.Â
Before he kills you.Â
But instead, you tell him, âthat you won't want to kiss me now, after I just threw up.âÂ
The concern on Pope's face washes away, replaced by a chuckle. âI'd kiss you no matter what.âÂ
âYeah?â You look at his lips. âAre you sure?âÂ
He leans in to prove it, kissing you. And you kiss him back.Â
You do more than just that. You pull him against you, wanting his body flush with yours.Â
âLet's get ready for bed first.â He smiles at your eagerness. âThen I'll help you fall asleep like always.âÂ
Your skin heats up from his words and he nuzzles your nose while holding back an amused chuckle, liking how flustered you look.
It's hard for him to believe his adorable wife is an assassin. One of the best in the business too.Â
And yet here you are, your hand holding onto his so nervously as he walks the two of you to bed after you both washed up and brushed your teeth.Â
Who is the real you?Â
The one who is looking up at him all bashful the moment he climbs on top of you in bed?Â
Or the stone cold killer Pearl that he has heard echoes about slashing her way through target after target without a shred of fear?Â
Does it matter right now when you pull him down to kiss you, lacing your fingers in his soft curls and grinding your hips up against his?Â
âSomeone's being impatient.â Pope nips at your bottom lip, drawing out a whimper from your lips.Â
âPlease, sir.â You beg of him because you need to feel your husband's body against yours right now. âPlease touch me.âÂ
âHow do you want me to touch you?â His hands slide under your shirt, lifting it up over your chest so he can see your lovely breasts.Â
âMake me cum, sir.â You want to remember this feeling, in case you never get to experience it again.Â
âLift your arms up.â Pope instructs and you listen, letting him tug your shirt up over your head.Â
But he doesn't pull it off. He instead ties your wrists to the headboard, securing them in place there.Â
âWhat's your safe word, honey?âÂ
âYour name.âÂ
âThat's right. Do you remember why?â He asks as he kisses down the length of your body starting from the arms he just bound.Â
You swallow back gulps of air before his lips hover over yours and you breathe, âbecause I only get to call you âsirâ in bed.âÂ
âGood girl.â He leans down, sealing his lips around yours, trapping the moan that wants to escape when you feel his hand slipping between your legs. âDo you still want me to make you cum?â
âYes, sir.â You tug at your restraints when you feel his fingers graze your clit. So lightly, so purposefully weak to get you wriggling for more. âPlease.âÂ
âMy wife is so needy tonight. I love it.â He really does love you so much.Â
That's why in bed, he doesn't want you calling out some fake name he made up. When you call Pope âsirâ, he knows you're talking to him and not the fictional persona of Jack Abbot he created to be free from the world of assassination.Â
It's hard for him to think that you've been hiding the same secret as he has been all this time.Â
Is that why you told him you like being called âhoneyâ? So you could enjoy his attention without the constant reminder of your fake identity?Â
What would you do if he called out your real name right now?Â
You're restrained. You wouldn't be able to do anything to him. Though, if you are Pearl, then he's sure you could get out of the loose knot he made with your shirt.Â
Why does that thought make his cock twitch? The sight of you showing him how skilled you truly are at your work. You have to be skilled to hide this well.Â
It would be betraying your trust, though, to use this vulnerable moment of yours for more than just sex and pleasure.Â
You trust Pope, maybe not fully but definitely in bed. You've given this part to him. He knows that well.Â
You wouldn't show this side of you to just anyone, the side so desperate to cum on his fingers that your hips are grinding against his hand now that he's stripped you completely naked.
Would you be this eager if you knew that he's supposed to kill you?Â
Maybe you wouldn't care.Â
You just want to cum.Â
His spoiled wife, who he takes great care of.Â
âBeg for it, honey.â He pins you down to the bed by your lower belly, stopping you from squirming so much.Â
âPlease make me cum, sir.â You plead with him and nearly cum when he spits so harshly on your clit.Â
âBe specific.â Pope wants to see what you ask for today.Â
âPlease make me cum on your fingers, sir.â You feel so empty inside.Â
Your heart aches and you want to have him inside of you any way you can.
âAre you going to be a good girl and cum hard for me?â He asks as he slips a finger inside of you for just a second before popping it back out, pulling a whine from your lips.Â
âYes, sir.â You definitely will.Â
âLet's see it.â Pope dips two fingers inside of you then and curls them, grinding them right up against that spot that has your body trembling all over. He keeps thrusting them right there, reveling in how tight you're squeezing his fingers as he fucks you with them.Â
He knows you're about to cum because you're looking at him with those pleading eyes of yours. You don't want him to stop.Â
He always stops though. Because he likes seeing you on the edge of an orgasm, panting, reeling from getting so close before his fingers slow completely.Â
âPlease, sir.â You don't know how much more you can beg for him to make you cum.Â
Pope likes torturing you. It's what he's good at. Always has been and he takes a lot of pleasure from it. From seeing you so helpless and in need of his assistance.
âTell me you love me.â He doesn't know why that's what he asks in this moment. Usually he asks you to tell him something filthy, to leak out a dark desire of yours he'd be happy to fulfill.Â
But right now, all he wants to hear is your beautiful voice telling him, âI love you.âÂ
âI love you too, honey.â He says, then drives his fingers back inside of you without warning.Â
You cum instantly, the sheer force of his sudden movements causing you to squirt uncontrollably. You're gasping for air and crying out because he won't slow down. He just keeps fucking you with his fingers until you're squirting like a fountain for him, drenching the sheets with your orgasms.
âOh god, sir, I can'tââ You dig your nails into the fabric of the shirt binding your wrists when Pope leans down to seal his lips on your aching clit. âWait, stop, I'm going to cum again if youââ
You cum so hard that your eyes roll back and you can't seem to pull enough air into your lungs with every heavy breath. Pope slides his fingers out of you, licking them clean while he stares down at the sight of you so thoroughly dazed.Â
He strips off his clothes then, and that's when you ask him, âwill you please untie me, sir?âÂ
And he's tempted to tell you to do it yourself.Â
You can, of course, but in this scene, you've relinquished control to him. You've let him restrain you, so you aren't going to undo them yourself unless you absolutely have to.Â
Should he give you a reason to?Â
Should he wrap his hands around your neck and squeeze just to see if you're afraid of him enough to show your true self?
His body moves before he can think his actions through.Â
Pope sinks his cock into you, filling you up completely before his hands wrap around your neck. Your eyes widen when you feel him tighten his grip around your neck.Â
Tighter than he's ever choked you before.
Pounding into you with his cock rougher than he ever has before too.Â
âSay my name.â He keeps squeezing more and more, ramming his cock into you harder and harder, trying to scare you. âDo it.âÂ
The wires are crossed in your head. You don't know what to think or what to do.Â
So much pleasure is flooding your system but there's a backnote of genuine fear.Â
That maybe Pope is trying to kill you.Â
Would he?Â
Should you let him?Â
If you did, then you wouldn't have to kill him.Â
Then your last memory could be him fucking you like this.Â
That's not a bad way to go.Â
Especially not when you're cumming your brains out on his cock, feeling so lightheaded from the lack of air, your mind spinning from cumming so much over and over again.Â
âSay it!â He shouts at you, shaking you by your neck. âMake me stop. Don't let meâŠâ
You lock eyes with him and it's only when you see the tears building in corners of his eyes that you have to put a stop to this.Â
Not for your sake, but for his.Â
So, you slip out of the fabric tied around your wrists with ease then you reach up, cupping Pope's face before meeting his shocked gaze with your eyes as you call out his name, âAndrew.â
He blinks at you, the grip around your neck stilling completely, no longer actively squeezing. Tears drip down his face and you can feel them hitting your own face. Though, maybe some of those are your tears.Â
âYou were going to let me kill you.â He lets go of your neck entirely, holding himself up at either side of your head now. âWhy?âÂ
âBecause they want me to kill you.â You don't need to explain much else. âAnd I can't do that to you. I love you, Andrew. Even if you don'tââ
âI love you too.â He says, followed by your real name.Â
And despite all the orgasms you've had, nothing could compare to the pleasure of hearing your real name come out of his lips after being told that he loves you.Â
âI wouldn't have killed you.â He swears to you. âI would've let you kill me if you had to.âÂ
âTill death do us part.â You pull him in for a kiss then, like you're making that vow again.Â
Only this time, as your real self.Â
âDeath will have to wait.â His words are so warm on your lips that your heart skips a beat. âBecause I finally get to hear my wife call out my name while I'm fucking her. I'm not dying today.âÂ
You chuckle, smacking him on the chest, âAndrew!â
He smiles back at you, nuzzling your nose so affectionately before kissing you.Â
You meet his hips halfway as he starts to roll them against yours, fucking you nice and slow. Making love to you, like always.Â
Making you laugh like always. âAre you really Pearl?â
âAre we seriously talking about this while you're fucking me?â You gasp when he buries his cock as deep as he can and then lays all of his weight on you, trapping you beneath him. âAndrew!âÂ
âFuck, you sound so good screaming my name.â He gives you a kiss on the cheek and you glare at him when he pulls away. âAnswer the question.âÂ
âYes.â You answer then yelp when he thrusts his cock inside of you all of a sudden.
âYes what?â He smirks at how annoyed you look.Â
So there is a side of you he hasn't gotten to enjoy fully yet. The little brat hidden beneath the usual submissive.Â
âWe are not doing this!â You shove at him so he pins your arms down with his hands. âStop it!âÂ
âYou're good at pretending, honey.â Because if the stories are true, you definitely can get out of his grip right now.
Pope wants to see it. See you in action.Â
You huff through gritted teeth. âI am not doing this with you, Pope.â
Oh, now you've pissed him off.Â
Pope slips out of you completely and before you can stop him, he opens the secret compartment he built into his bedside table and pulls out his revolver.Â
Then, he shoots you.Â
You narrowly avoid it, your reflexes kicking in immediately so you can dodge it, rolling off the bed and to your feet in an instant.Â
He laughs so hard that you want to punch his teeth out. âSo you are as good as they say.â
âFuck you, you just shot at me, you motherfucker!â You press your hand against the nearby wall, activating the biometric lock that opens up the hidden compartment you made and pull out your glock.Â
Then, you shoot him.Â
And Pope narrowly avoids it, before firing another shot at you that you dodge with ease so you fire back at him quickly.
Clipping his arm.Â
You suddenly feel a weight sink in your stomach at the sight of the thin line of blood that darts across his bicep. But that uneasy feeling washes away when you hear Pope chuckle so happily.
âNice shot, honey!â He tells you before he fires another round and you almost get clipped in the ear. âHey, stand still. I need to even the score.â
âWhat are we doing right now?!â This has to be the strangest foreplay ever!Â
âHaving fun. And getting some practice in.â He says before shooting at you again, this time by your feet, hoping to nick your ankle but you're too slippery. âLooks like my wife doesn't need the exercise though. Good reflexes.â
âI will shoot your fucking cock off if you don't stop whatever the hell this is!â You shout at him before he aims another bullet at you. âAndrew!âÂ
âYou wouldn't dare shoot my cock. You'd miss it if it was gone.â He smiles so mischievously at you that you are actually tempted to shoot him there.Â
âI don't miss your leg.â You say then instantly regret it because you feel like that might've been too harsh, given the prosthetic he has.
Until Pope starts laughing again and goes, âthat's why you won't take out the one hanging between my legs, right?âÂ
âOh my god!â You groan at the horrid joke. âWho the fuck did I marry? Have you always been this irritating!â
âPretty much.â He nods with a shrug.Â
So you shoot his gun out of his hand.Â
Pope is actually startled by that, his revolver dropping to the ground.Â
Right before you pin him down to the ground in his distraction.
You point the gun to his head then tell him, âI always knew I'd be better than you.â
âOh yeah?â Pope suddenly grabs you and pushes you down onto your back, then shoves his cock into you in a single smooth stroke. âI always knew you had it bad for my cock.âÂ
âI will fucking shoot you!â You point your gun at him as he rolls his hips, grinding the tip of his cock deep where you like it. âStop it!â
âYou'll have to shoot me if you want me to stop fucking you.â He digs his fingers into your hips for leverage before he starts pounding his cock into you at a pace that has your back arching and your orgasm building too quickly. âThat's it honey, cum for me.âÂ
âAndrew, you can'tââ You literally have a gun trained on him and he's fucking you right now?!
âI can't what? Fuck my wife? Watch me.â He slips his hand between your legs and rubs your clit while he finds the right angle to drill his cock into you until you're cumming all over him.Â
You toss your gun aside, not wanting to accidentally shoot him, as your orgasm shoots through you in intense waves of pleasure that has you pulling him in for needy kisses. He smiles so beautifully against your lips as he kisses you back.
âTell me you want my cum, honey.â He massages your lower belly with his palm while his fingers play with your clit and his cock pounds you into the ground. âTell me you want to have my baby.âÂ
And it's like you snap right back into that submissive space in your head because you nod and tell him, âplease, I want to have your baby. I want your cum, sir.âÂ
âGood girl.â He gives you the sweetest kiss on the forehead before saying your name and telling you, âI love you so much.âÂ
âI love you too, Andrew.â You pull him back for a kiss, pleasure surging through you as you cum again.Â
That's enough for Pope to cum, when he feels you tightening up from your orgasm, milking his cock dry. You lay your forehead against his, breathing heavy as he fills you with so much of his release.
âWhat do you usually say after you've gotten my cum deep inside of you?â Pope nudges your nose, waiting for your response.Â
âThank you, sir.â You tell him, grinning when he grins back at you. âYou are so lucky I love you.âÂ
âI am lucky, because you definitely would've been able to kill me before I could kill you.â Pope can tell your reflexes are much better than his.Â
âWe should get that cleaned up.â You point to the slight cut from the bullet.Â
âI'll be fine.â He waves off your concern, since it's not even bleeding anymore. âIn case you forgot, I am actually a doctor.âÂ
âHow does an assassin have time for medical school?â You raise an eyebrow at that.
For you, it was easy to forge an impressive resume to land you an incredibly easy corporate executive job where all you do is answer emails all day.Â
Pope actually went to medical school and served in the military.Â
All under his fake identity, Jack Abbot.Â
âHow do you think I paid for medical school?â He laughs at his own joke and then laughs some more when he sees you glaring at him. âYou are so cute, honey.âÂ
Before you can say something back in retaliation, Pope kisses you with so much affection that you melt in his arms.Â
The two of you lay there on the ground, kissing until he's soft. Then, you both take a nice shower together, which really ends up with you riding him in his shower chair until the two of you cum again together, and then get redressed for bed after swapping out the sheets.
âThere's bullet holes in our walls.â You gesture at all the work that will need to be redone. âHow are we supposed to explain that to a contractor?â
âWe have lots of fun in the bedroom?â Pope chuckles when he sees how annoyed you are with his antics. âWhat? It's trueââ
The doorbell rings, cutting him off mid-sentence.Â
Pope rolls over to his bedside table, grabbing his security tablet so he can check who's at the door.Â
It's the policeâŠ
âA neighbor probably called when they heard the gunshots.â You hold back a groan. âWhat are we going to say?â
âMisfire?â Pope says with a shrug. âI'll just say my silly wife wanted me to show her how to shoot and you accidentally pulled the trigger.âÂ
âI can accidentally shoot off your balls. Don't test me.â You shove at him. âYou go answer them. I'm staying here where it's cozy.â
Pope hands you the security tablet and then gets up to go to the door. He tells the officers the explanation but they want to step inside to look around, which Pope allows.Â
Though, his eyes drift to the two cops that walk into the house once their backs are turned to him. He doesn't recognize either of them from the local police force and since he does SWAT work every now and then, he should have at least seen them once or twice.Â
They wouldn't send newbies out to check on gunfire.Â
And those guns they have holstered aren't police-issuedâŠ
Fuck. Pope can't tell if they've figured out that he knows yet.Â
So, he slowly walks over to the bookshelf by the living room television, where he has a gun.Â
But before he can fire a shot, a bullet flies through the air.Â
And one of the cops drops dead.Â
Then, Pope shoots the other one down before that one has a chance to react to you killing their partner.Â
He walks over to meet you as you both stare down at the dead bodies. Then, you each take a body to check for a burner.Â
âHow'd you know they weren't real cops?â Pope finds the burner phone on his dead copâs body, seeing the bounty for you and him on the screen with your current house address listed for last known.
You pull out your dead cop's burner along with some keys then say, âno cop car outside. But a very nice getaway vehicle.â
âWant to take a ride, honey?â Pope puts his hand out for you to give him the keys. âYou got a go bag?âÂ
âOf course I have a fucking go bag.â You want to beat him up for even asking. You know he's just messing with you, though. âI have one made for the two of us too.âÂ
âReally?â Pope finds that oddly sweet.Â
âIn case my life ever caught up to yours.â You wanted to make sure that wherever you had to hide, he could come with.Â
âWhat are our new identities then?âÂ
You go to unseal one of the floorboards in the living room and pull out the go bags. They're filled with untraceable cash and other necessities like weapons and new identities.Â
You pull out Pope's new driver's license and hand it to him. He looks at it and goes, âseriously? You couldn't pick a better name than âTitusâ?â
âShut up.â You roll your eyes at him, throwing the heavier go bag at him. âGo pack the car, Mr. Danforth.âÂ
âMaybe I should have you call me âmisterâ instead of âsirâ from now on, Mrs. Danforth.â He says with a smirk on his face, swinging the bag over his shoulder with ease before putting his hand out for you to take. âReady to run away together?âÂ
You let out a light chuckle then nod. âYes, sir.â
âSo we're keeping the âsirâ. I'll allow it.â Pope leans over, giving you a loving kiss on the temple.Â
The two of you start packing the car but then you remember the pills so you quickly go and grab them from your car. Pope furrows his brows at you.Â
âYou got them already? Why didn't you take them last night?â
âYou know why.â You shove them in your go bag.Â
âTell me.â He makes you stop your fussing.
âAndrew, we have people after us, who wants us dead. Can we talk about this in the car?â He really has such poor timing sometimes!
âI promise I wouldn't have killed you. Even if they tried to make me, I wouldn't. I love you, truly.â He says your name too, just to confirm it, giving you the reassurance you didn't know you needed to hear. âCome here.âÂ
Pope pulls you into his arms, giving you a warm hug that you gladly accept.Â
âTill death do us part.â He tells you before lifting your chin up to look at him. âAnd I promise you won't need those pills for a while. I'll make sure you sleep real good from now on.âÂ
You glare at him, knowing what he's insinuating and when he laughs, you giggle with him before leaning in for a kiss.Â
âNow let's go make sure the world knows not to fuck with Mr. and Mrs. Danforth.â Pope says against your lips before giving you another loving kiss.Â
You're certain they won't once they realize the two of you are a pair.
Because why would any assassin risk going head to head with you and Pope?Â
It'll surely be a death sentence for them, and a lot of fun for you two.Â
a/n: aw, this one turned out so much more fun than I originally planned! I will say that I hope this version of pope sort of makes sense as like a blend between him and jack, since technically he is jack too! I thought it would be fun to explore the idea that pope created the persona of jack abbot as a cover and then grew to love being jack! and now he's titus hehe ~
I decided to keep this one short and sweet. I was originally going to write the whole backstory of how they met, etc, but sometimes I like leaving things up to the imagination, I find that more fun and it allows for a little more wiggle room for any future installments!Â
think we're alone now; beating of our heart is the only sound
pairing: sammy bryant x f!reader
warnings: ben's little sister!reader, so like... brother's best friend!au vibe, but it's brother's partner!au... you know what i mean?; smut - oral (m and f!receiving), fingering, soft dom!sammy, unprotected sex, a little bit of choking, praise kink i guess, cum eating; secret relationship, a pinch of angst, and fluffffff
summary: for certain reasons, you have always avoided dating cops. but one time, you make an exception, and this exception so happens to be your brother's partner.
w/c: around 11k
a/n: another love letter from: me, to: sammy bryant.
You moved back to Los Angeles after you got tired of the cool and wet city of Seattle. Not only did you miss the weather, you also missed the things that came with it â the beach, the surfer community, the colors and fewer depressing days, chilling in the car when you were stuck in traffic⊠And you would never admit it to him, but you missed your brother too. Just a little.
You also loved this. Standing in the middle of a coffee shop and studying the new promo drinks, even though you knew you were going to end up getting your usual. Well, you supposed you could do that in Seattle too, but it didnât make you so giddy there.
âI hear their white chocolate mocha is pretty good.â
You jumped a little at the voice before you turned to the source. Your eyes were met with a dark-haired man sporting a police uniform and a drink of his own.
âIs that what you got?â you asked, pointing at the to-go cup.
âNo way,â he said, waving the cup in the air as he chuckled, âIâm too boring for that. Iâm a regular, black coffee kinda guy.â
You nodded with a smile, turning your head back to the menu board. âYou and me both.â
The officerâs brows furrowed, one of his fingers lifting from the surface of his cup and pointing it at you. âYou must be the prettiest regular, black coffee kinda guy, then.â
You bit your cheek, side-eyeing him as you tried to stifle the smile that was creeping up on you. There was no way this guy was making your cheeks flush.
âIâm Sammy,â he introduced himself, passing his coffee from his right hand to the left, offering his palm to you. You shook it and told him your name. âAre you new to the area?â
âNo. Well, yeah.â Sammyâs brows shot up at the contrasting words. âKinda both. I just moved here from Seattle, but I grew up in LA,â you explained and Sammy gave you a nod.
âSo, would it be too bold to ask for your number?â
You bounced on your feet, considering it. He was cute. And he was funny. But he was a police officer, for Godâs sake. You only trusted a handful of those.
âIâm sorry,â you said apologetically, scrunching your face, âI donât date cops. No offence.â
Sammyâs confident smile was replaced by a defeated one, the wrinkles around his eyes staying in place, although the spark disappeared.
âOkay, thatâs fair. May I ask why? If itâs the uniform, I promise I never bring it on a date. Or home. Unless I need to wash it, of course.â
You chuckled, tipping your head down for a split second and Sammy followed your eyes with a tilt of his head.
âMy brother is a cop. So itâs just⊠You know.â
Sammy didnât know, not really, but he nodded anyway. He didnât have any right to pry. You surely had your reasons. ButâŠ
âWell,â Sammy took out his notepad and scribbled down his number, âif thereâs any type of emergency,â he tore the paper out and handed it to you, âor if you change your mind about dating cops, this is where you can reach me. One cop is enough, actually.â
Shit. He was charming. You took the paper and folded it in half, stuffing it in your pocket and thanking him.
âEnjoy your coffee,â he said and then he was on his way.
âNo, Iâm telling you, she liked me,â Sammy attempted to convince Ben, bouncing his thumb against the steering wheel.
âSammy. 'I donât date cops, because my brotherâs one of them'? Thatâs the lamest excuse I have ever heard. She probably just wanted to let you down easily.â
The corner of Sammyâs mouth quirked upwards, frowning as he tried not to let Ben get to him.
âWhatever, man. She took my number, alright? Iâm keeping my hopes up.â
As much as it pained you, you honestly couldnât stop thinking about the police officer you met at the coffee shop.
You hated it when people made you reconsider your values, especially men. You felt like a hypocrite. But Sammy didnât seem cocky, didnât really use his rank to pick you up. Didnât push when you told him no. And he was handsome. The truth is, you'd probably say yes right away if he wasn't wearing the uniform. So maybe you shouldnât be so uptight and pigeonhole him.
You searched your pants for the piece of paper he gave you, taking your phone into your other hand as you held the items side by side, typing in the number. Then you pressed dial.
Beep.
Beep.
âBryant,â sounded from the other side, the voice deeper than you remembered.
âUm, hi. Is this Sammy? We met at the coffee shop the other day,â you said, reminding him of your name.
âOh, yeah! Hi. Did something happen?â
âWell, yes. Iâm in the middle of changing my mind about dating cops. You think you can help with that?â
You heard a soft laugh over the line.
âI donât know. What does it entail?â
âIâm about to go for a stroll along the beach. Maybe get something to drink from one of those beach bars. So, I thought you could join me if youâd like and tell me about the pros and cons.â
Sammy agreed and one and a half hour later, you were walking on the pier with slushies in your hands. To be honest, your preconceptions were building up anticipation inside of you that made you tense almost throughout the whole date. You were just waiting for the moment heâd say something that would repulse you. And with your bias, just a small slip would be enough. But it never really came, or you just missed it and didn't care, because Sammy seemed genuine, confident but humble, and respectful.
He told you about all about him voluntarily stepping down as a detective after his partner had been killed. He didnât try to hide that it still made him sad to this day, and it tugged at your heart.
The conversation felt natural, and you didnât even realize it was so late when you circled back to the spot where you met up.
âLet me walk you to your car,â Sammy offered, figuring that you were parked somewhere close.
âOh, I walked.â
Sammy paused, his eyes meeting yours. âYou live nearby?â
âYeah, like thirty minutes by foot.â
He huffed, his eyes went comically wide as he put a hand on the small of your back and steered you in the direction of his car. âYeah, okay. Iâm driving you home, then.â
âThank you, but thatâs not really necessary.â
âIâm not letting you walk fifteen blocks all by yourself,â Sammy said incredulously.
âDonât worry, I have my pepper spray. Iâm not an amateur.â
âYeah,â he snorted, âIâm not even gonna tell you how well those things work. Please, let me do this. You donât really have a choice, because even if you do talk me into letting you walk, Iâm just gonna drive next to you until you decide to get your butt inside the car.â
âIs that a threat, Officer? I smell some elements of stalking too.â
âYeah, well, we should have that nose checked because it seems to miss the real danger,â he said as he opened the passenger door of his car, rising his eyebrows expectantly.
With a roll of your eyes, you got in the car and Sammy carefully closed the door once you were seated.
The ride was short at this time of night. You caught yourself shamefully admiring Sammyâs face a few times, making him rotate his head in your direction when he felt your gaze. He didnât say anything, though, sparing you any further embarrassment. But you felt the heat in your cheeks, and the butterflies in your stomach were restless too.
âYeah, this is me.â
Sammy put the car in park and unbuckled his seat belt, leaning his head against the headrest.
âThanks. I actually enjoyed spending time with you,â you smiled.
âWell, donât sound too surprised,â he said sarcastically. âSo, did you change your mind?â
Sammyâs head was tilted towards you, enough to be inviting, but not enough to invade your space. You glanced out of the passenger window, smiling to yourself before you turned back to him. His eyes flickered to your lips, so quick youâd almost miss it
God, he made you fuzzy for no apparent reason. You wanted to kiss him, to let yourself be pulled in. His front teeth were poking out of his mouth, and it made him look so imperfectly perfect.
âIâm getting thereâŠâ you said, thanking him again before getting out of the car.
God. You were actually killing him. But Sammy is nothing if not patient, and he definitely wasnât counting on getting this far. But you did make his heart beat a bit faster when you glanced at his lips and bit your lip.
As much as you wanted him, this wasnât you. You didnât want to act impulsively and make any rash decisions. The date felt good, and you chose to leave it at that for the time being.
âYouâre in a good mood today. Dâyou get laid or something?â Ben smirked at Sammy as they entered the briefing room.
âOr something,â Sammy said with a puffed up chest, sending a smile full of pride in Ben's direction.
âYeah? Sooo, did the chick from the coffee shop text you?â
Sammy shot him a glance, his cheeks dimpling as his smile grew wider.
âOh, man,â Ben laughed, patting his partner on the back. âAlright, I stand corrected. Congrats, bro. So, you takin' her out on a date?â
Sammy didnât tell him that youâd already been on a date, because Ben would be busting his chops about not getting you into bed and he was in a too good of a mood to discuss that with him.
He did tell him that you were going to get some coffee later today and then head to the beach again, because apparently, you preferred spending time outside, which he respected.
Sammy liked spending time with you and didn't care where it was, he liked talking to you. You were sweet, but you didnât suck up to him, didnât try to act like you were perfect, didn't hold back, sometimes making his eyes go wide at whatever you said. But in those wide eyes of his, you were kind of flawless.
Actually, he loved going to the beach with you, because your hair shone under the beams and your eyes twinkled every time you looked at him.
Sammy didnât know that you admired his eyes and his freckles just as much.
He made it a habit to drop you off at your apartment at the end of every date, and he let you set the pace. He was down bad and you must have known that he was dying to kiss you, because he felt like his eyes transformed into beating hearts when he looked at you. And he looked at you a lot.
And one night, when he parked his car in front if your building, you finally let yourself be pulled by them.
Reaching for his face, you leaned over the console and pressed your lips against his, your hand sliding to the nape of his neck and pulling him closer to you so you didnât have to lean so far.
Sammy kissed you back immediately, his fingers tangling themselves in your hair and angling your head, his seatbelt digging into his chest.
When you scraped your fingernails against his scalp, he groaned, disconnecting your lips while keeping his forehead pressed against yours.
âDo you wanna come in?â
You pressed him against the door as soon as it closed, pulling his jacket off with you following it, sliding down his body and to your knees, impishly putting the jacket under your shins.
Your hands reached for his belt, clinking sounds echoing through the hallway as you unbuckled it before yanking both his pants and boxers down his legs.
Sammyâs hand reached down to your face, stroking his thumb over your cheek when you took his cock into your hands, his thickness stopping your fingers from creating a full circle.
And when you gave the first tug, his head fell against the door with a thud as he exhaled, relishing in the feeling of your soft hands pumping his cock while you let your thumb slide against his slit occasionally.
A moan escaped him when he felt the flat of your tongue drag itself from the base of his cock to the head where you wrapped your lips around him and slid back down as far as you could.
âShit, youâre such a good girl,â he hissed through clenched teeth as he looked down, and then he felt his cock hit the back of your throat, making you gag, all teary-eyed.
The praise made you moan around him, sending vibrations through his body as you slid off of him, and when you freed his cock from the warmth of your mouth, strings of mixed saliva and precum connected you to his cock. He bent over and grabbed you under your chin, the need to kiss the fluids away overtaking him.
Sammy kissed you hard, manoeuvring your head as he pleased before he pulled you up, grunting out a deep come here.
He stepped out of the clothes that pooled around his feet and picked you up, his arms flexing with the added weight. Sammy didnât break the kiss, not once, carrying you to your bedroom according to your instructions.
He put you down on your feet in front of your bed, breaking the kiss only to pull his shirt over his head. He smiled at you then, biting his lip when he reached for the hem of your dress and tugged upwards, leaving you in nothing but your black panties.
âSo fucking beautiful,â he praised, cupping your breasts with his hands as he kissed you again, his lips traveling over your jaw, down your neck, until he was bent in an uncomfortable position just to latch his lips around your nipple.
He closed his teeth around you, nipping at the stiffened bud and forcing an abrupt moan from your throat, your fingers pulling on his hair and elicitng a groan from him, too.
Sammy stood to his full height again, one arm wrapping around your waist just to pick you up and lay you on the bed. Falling right over you, his hand reached down blindly, tugging on the band of your underwear for too long as he realized that it was impossible to rid you off it from this position, so he knelt up.
Once your panties were successfully discarded, he stayed on his knees and spread yours gently, his chest rising with shallow breaths.
âAlready out of breath, Officer?â You had the audacity to tease. âI thought stamina was kind of a requirement in your field of work.â
Sammy scoffed, a smug smile playing on his lips as tugged you by your ankles closer to him, the undersides of your thighs pressed against his strong quads. Pressing his body against your front, he slipped an arm between the small of your back and the mattress and you let your hands fall to his wide shoulders, tracing the freckles there as his eyes raked over your face.
âDonât poke the bear, sweetheart.â
Before you could retort, you were being flipped over onto your stomach, a gasp escaping your lungs. Sammy removed the pillows that were clearly in his way and instructed you to hold onto the bars of the headboard, situating you into a kneeling position, your back arched.
âSpread your legs wider,â he ordered as he knelt at your side, and you did as he asked. He shuffled on his knees closer to your body, dragging his fingertips down your spine until he reached your tailbone, goosebumps sizzling all over your skin. Then his fingers detoured to the globe of your ass and gave it a firm squeeze.
Your hips tilted on their own, chasing his hand as it ghosted over your skin. Sammy brought his other hand to your neck, wrapping his fingers around your throat and squeezing his thumb against your artery. His nose brushed your temple before he kissed over your cheek, angling your face towards him and kissing your pout away.
He released your lips with a soft smack and shifted on his knees an inch, straightening his posture and adjusting the hold he had on your neck.
Sammyâs other set of fingers finally touched you, lightly brushing over the wetness of your cunt. A shuddering breath released from your mouth when you felt his thumb being pressed into your hole while the rest of his fingers laid flat against your clit, cupping your whole cunt.
âJesus, how long have you been this wet, hm?â
You whimpered at his words and you were glad that Sammy didnât wait for an answer. He slipped his thumb out, circling the pond of slickness that was your entrance before he pushed back in and wiggled the finger against your walls.
The pressure was euphoric, the pad of his finger pushing all the right buttons inside of you to make your whole body buzz. His meaty thumb alone was stretching you out so good, and it made you wonder how you were going to take his cock.
You moaned out loud at the thought and let go of one of the bars, bringing your palm to the wrist at your neck, needing to touch him. To feel him. But Sammy, wasnât having it and as soon as he felt your hand cover his, his movements stopped, his gaze switching from your ass to your face, eyes squinting.
âPut your hand back onto the headboard, or Iâll stop, and you bet your sweet ass that I wonât touch you again.â
Your whole body trembled and you did as he said. He turned your head to him before continuing.
âYou okay?â he asked, his voice becoming softer which only made you wetter.
âYes.â
Sammy gave you a nod and then he shifted again, the hold on your neck disappearing. You felt his palm splayed on your lower back as he pressed down until the back of his other hand hit the softness of your sheets and you were basically sitting on it.
âFuck yourself on my finger.â
Your head snapped to him. Was he serious?
âWhat?â
âWhat? Whatâs not to understand, sweetheart? Ride my hand. Make yourself cum.â
You blinked, swallowing and returning your gaze to the wall in front of you as you started lifting your hips.
âThaatâs it. Fuck, youâre swallowing my finger so fucking good.â
You felt awkward in this position, your hips faltering as you tried to pick up the pace. It didnât help that all that Sammy did was curl his thumb every time you slid all the way down, before lifting your hips again, repeating the motion over and over again.
The next time his thumb was fully sheathed inside of you, you circled your hips, grinding against his fingers and creating a delicious stimulation against your throbbing clit.
âYeaah, just like that. Look at you, a fucking natural.â
His praises spurred you on, but your movements werenât enough to make you come. You didnât have the strength, the speed, nor the leverage to fuck yourself on him, to use him like you really wanted to. You needed more.
âSammy, please,â you whimpered, stopping your hips. Giving up.
âWhat? What do you need?â
âI need to cum,â you mewled, wiggling against his hand to relieve some of the ache from your clit.
âThen why did you stop?â
You were speechless. This was the first time your sexual partner was this communicative during sex. This controlling. You didnât know how to act, and Sammy must have figured it out.
âAww, does my babygirl need some help? Hm?â Sammy cooed, cupping your face with his free hand, his thumb soothing over your flushed skin as you looked at him with wide eyes. âIs that it? Do you want me to make you cum instead?â
âMhm.â You nodded and Sammy smiled, all entitled and condescending.
âUse your words, sweetheart.â
Your heart beat faster as you tried not to feel humiliated.
âI want you to make me cum.â
âGood girl.â He brushed your cheek with the back of his fingers, pinching your chin before he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear and sending shivers down your spine. âIâll let it slide this time, but next time you have some smart-ass comments, I wonât be so nice. Understood?â
Jesus Christ. You actually wondered for a split second what he was capable of doing. You got the urge to test it, but you chose to fight it down.
âYes.â
And with that, Sammy manhandled you into a position with your ass up, snaking his arm over your back and under your stomach, holding your hips up as he started ramming into your pussy with his thumb, while simultaneously rubbing the sensitive bundle of nerves with the four of his fingers.
You still kept your hold on the bars, only now your face was squished against the mattress. Your moans got louder with every glide of his thumb, occasionally slipping it down to your clit and flicking over it before he buried his finger back into your pussy.
Your walls fluttered around him, each stroke against that spongy spot was making your toes curl and soon, you started bucking your hips against his palm.
Sammy worked you up, and with a few more bumps and wiggles against your G-spot, you fell over the edge, orgasm rippling through you as he fingered you until you were reaching behind you and clasping your hand around his wrist with small no moreâs.
Sammy took mercy on you, pulling his hand away from your sensitive pussy as he admired your shivering body. He dragged his nails softly against your skin, his cock twitching at the purrs leaving your mouth.
You brought your hips down, lying on your stomach, while Sammy positioned his body on his side, using his forearm to prop himself up. He traced his fingers over your back, drawing random patterns on your skin.
âIâm glad I changed my mind.â
Sammy laughed, his smile forming dimples in his cheeks making him look younger than he was.
âYeah. Me too.â
When you finally caught your breath, you lifted yourself up, smashing your lips against Sammyâs and crawling over him. You forced him on his back as you threw your leg over his hips, straddling him and rubbing yourself over his hard cock. His hands ran up your thighs, thumbs creating temporary dents from how they dug into the softness of your skin.
He drew in a sharp breath as you kissed him, his eyes half open because he simply couldnât stop looking at you. You snuck your tongue into his mouth, your fingers grasping his hair when he deepened the kiss by lifting his head from the pillow, trying to assert dominance. But then you angled your lips just right, the head of his cock barely slipping into the warmth of your cunt, but still causing him to moan and throw his head back into the mattress.
âFuck,â he cursed and then you reached down, straightening your back and positioning him against your entrance properly. Sammy couldnât tear his eyes off you as you struggled to take him all at once, hissing at the way your tight walls squeezed the shit out of the head of his cock. âShit, I should have stretched you out first. Youâre so fucking tight.â Yeah, his thumb definitely wasnât enough.
You didnât respond, too focused on sliding down his cock as painlessly as possible. You were so sexy like this, all desperate to fuck him, with that small crease between your brows and bitten lip. And as much as he was enjoying the view, he didnât want to hurt you.
âLie on your back, sweetheart,â he said, ready to flip you over, but you stopped him.
âNo! I can do it. I just need a second.â
God, he would slam right up into you if he werenât scared that heâd break you.
âChrist, youâre being such a good girl for me, arenât you?â
Sammy at least brought his thumb to your clit, massaging it in small circles.
âYeah,â you agreed mindlessly, making Sammyâs eyes snap to your face. You were so gone already. Only air in your head.
âYeah,â he sighed, and sucked in his lips as you slid down another inch down, splitting yourself on his cock.
Sammy swore he couldnât control it when his hips lifted themselves off the bed, just about a millimetre, but it made you mewl anyway.
Your palms braced themselves against his chest, your nails digging into his muscles. He had to remind you to breathe, and the stinging pressure only amplified when you finally slid all the way down, seating yourself against his hips.
Sammy moaned at the feeling, his eyes rolling back as he suppressed the need to buck up into you.
âGood job,â he commended and it was enough for you to lift your hips up, albeit painfully slow. It was easier for you to slide back down this time, your arousal combining with Sammyâs precum and creating a sticky mixture at the base of his cock. âYou feel so fucking good. So hot.â
You finally looked away from where you were joined, locking eyes with Sammyâs. They were dark, blown out and full of lust. You lowered your upper body, your breasts pressing against his chest as you kissed him. You circled your hips, and this time, Sammy didnât hold back, squeezing your hips before gently pressing upwards.
It made you hum into the kiss and he took it as a permission to do it again. Grabbing the flesh of your ass, he bent his knees and planted his feet against the mattress to give himself some leverage. Then he bucked up more forcefully, your body jolting against his and causing your lips to disconnect as you moaned.
He watched your face as he did it again, biting his lip when he saw your eyes roll back. He set a gradual pace, each thrust of his hips sharper than the last, your clit bumping against his pubic bone and applying dizzying pressure against the nub.
The lewd sounds of the slapping skin echoed through the room, combined with the gasps escaping your mouth. Sammy wrapped his arms around the small of your back, keeping you in place as he sped up his movements.
Your cheeks bounced against his snapping hips, and you had to brace yourself on your hands next to his ear, your fingers clutching the sheets.
This position left your breasts hanging close to his face and Sammy took the opportunity to lift his head, catching your nipple into his mouth. He sucked and nibbled as he drove into you, the bedsprings creaking under your bouncing bodies. He felt you spasm around him, your pussy sucking him in with every drag of his cock against your walls. Your cries got louder and his name was falling from your lips like prayer. It almost made him feel like a god.
You arched your back, your belly pressing against the firm muscles of his stomach and with three more thrusts, the coil in your stomach snapped, sending you over the edge.
Sammy started chasing his own orgasm as you shattered around him, riding you through your high with stammering hips. Once he was close, he flipped you on your back and let his cock slip out of your sensitive center, kneeling between your thighs while he pumped himself until he spilled over your stomach. He couldât hold in the moans that escaped him as he watched you getting covered in his cum.
Once his breaths went from shallow to deep again and his cock softened, he lowered himself on his heels.
âShit, sorry.â
His words made you giggle, partly because of the oxytocin running through your body. A lazy grin appeared on your face. âWhat are you apologizing for?â
He jerked his head to the side, a knowing look on his face, because it was kind of obvious.
âWhereâs your bathroom? Do you have something I can clean you up with?â
âOut the door to the left, thereâs a washcloth hanging in the shower.â
Nodding, Sammy got to his feet with an exaggerated groan and it made you giggle again. He glanced at you over his shoulder with a what are you laughing at? look. You couldnât wipe the smile off your face when you watched him trot butt-naked to the bathroom, catching a glimpse of the birthmark on his cheek.
When he came back, he was already in his boxers, washcloth in one hand and his pants in the other which he threw on the armchair you had in your bedroom. He also returned the pillows to where they belonged under your head, before he wiped away his spent, warmth spreading through you at the gentle touch.
When he came back again, after returning the towel into the bathroom, he threw himself on the bed, his body bouncing next to you.
âAre you alright?â he asked, bringing his hand to cup your face, his fingers playing with the hair by your ear and thumb swiping over your nose.
âBetter than,â you smiled and he returned it, looking down in almost a bashful way, before he pecked your lips, releasing them with a gentle pop.
Gazing at each other then, you admired the color of his eyes and the small nose adorned by freckles. He truly was beautiful.
âI gotta go,â he said in a low voice, slurring the words out.
âYou gotta?â
âWellâŠ,â he began, the teasing tone returning, but still soft and a little high-pitched. âIt really depends on the woman of the house. She has this rule about copsâŠâ he rasped out with a playful roll of his eyes.
âI think she can make an exception.â
âYeah?â He smiled, moving his face closer to yours and you nodded, repeating the word before he kissed you again. Sammy just couldnât get enough of you.
Your dates became more frequent and eventually, you started seeing each other on daily basis. Sometimes you went to your place, sometimes you ended up at his. You started going on runs together and planned other activities if you both had free weekends.
Sammy was great, sweet and good-hearted, funny and sometimes fucking annoying. But you ate it all up.
Not to mention that the sex was amazing.
One morning, he had to borrow your brotherâs old shirt, because he used his to wipe his cum off your ass and didnât bring any change of clothes. It was a little tight, but it would suffice for the drive to work.
âI see you finally got style. Your coffee shop girl have something to do with it?â Ben teased when Sammy met him in the locker room, confusion flooding his face. âThe shirt, bro. I think I even had the same one. A little out of fashion, but for youââ Ben clicked his tongue and winked, making an OK sign with his fingers. âKudos for the tighter fit, too. Whatâs next? Your hair?â
Normally, Sammy would come up with his own remarks, but all he could do this time was to watch Ben with careful eyes as he put on the white Underarmor shirt, wheels turning in Sammyâs head.
Thereâs no way.
Sammy changed quickly, throwing the borrowed shirt into his locker with more force than he intended. They did their usual routine, equipping the car with firearms and ammunition and searching for any leftover items from previous shift.
As they rolled out into the streets, Sammy couldnât stop thinking about it. He should probably text you as soon as he had some time, otherwise his mind wouldnât give him any rest. On the other hand, what if he found something he didnât really wish to find out? Would that really help his case? Fuck.
Well, Sammy was restless, too impatient to wait as they cruised through the neighbourhood after responding to a help call.
âSo⊠My sister is still on my ass about basically demoting myself from detective to patrol. Itâs been years, and sheâs driving me nuts,â Sammy set the bait, and Ben took it immediately.
âYeah, sisters, man. As if managing their own life wasnât enough.â
âYou have a sister?â
Ben snorted.
âYeah, man. Three,â he specified. And before Sammy could prod any further, Ben continued. âActually, one of them just moved back from Seattle. Getting to re-know the city as we speak.â
Sammyâs head snapped to Ben, something close to a scowl pulling the muscles of his face as he stared at his partner over his shades
He forgot he was driving for a secondâ well, for more than a second, because the next thing he knew, Ben was yelling out his name and reaching for the wheel, steering the car around a cyclist.
âWhat the fuck, man? You alright?â
Sammy recovered quickly then.
âYeah. Sorry.â
Ben made a note to keep a close eye on his partner for the rest of the shift, but brushed it off for now, going on a rant about wanting to become a detective too and asking Sammy for advice.
Sammy could not wait for the shift to be over. He was panicking and he needed someone to panic with. Except, he doubted that his partner would provide that service since Sammy was sleeping with his little sister. Oh, he was going to dramatically storm into your apartment, he knew it. He should probably give you a heads up.
Well, he didnât have to.
You were perched on the bench in front of the police station, and when you saw Ben, followed by Sammy, your epiglottis closed up. No way.
When Sammy spotted you, you saw him tip his head back and roll his eyes towards the sky, as if asking some higher power to give him the strength, before he met your gaze again and shook his head subtly.
You didnât even know what he meant by that, but instead of dwelling on that, you smiled at your brother as he greeted you with a half-hug.
âAlright, Ben, see you tomorrow,â Sammy said, trying to make his escape, but Ben stopped him.
âSammy, wait.â
Sammy stopped reluctantly, the tip of his tongue prodding at his molars as his eyes flickered to you for a split second. âThis is my sister I was telling you about. And this is Sammy Bryant, my partner.â
Sammy stuck out his hand and you took it, his lips quirked up and brows pinched together at the ridiculousness of the situation.
âNice to meet you, Officer Bryant.â
âLikewise.â
Sammy had to give it to you, you definitely looked calmer than he felt. His hand lingered on yours, and Ben was the one to break you up with a nervous laugh.
Sammy was quick to say goodbye, desperate to get out of there, and while you went out for a coffee with your brother, Sammy decided to drive to your place, parking far enough so Ben wouldnât see his car in case he was taking you home.
With Ben living in Castaic now, too, Sammy didnât want to risk the chance of him appearing at his doorstep with you on his couch. He was proven today that fate had funny plans for him. Or for you, he wasnât sure.
He sent you a text of course, informing you he was waiting for you near your apartment. And while stakeouts werenât his favorite thing about his job, this made them seem like a piece of cake.
âSo, now you see why I donât date cops?â you asked him when you finally arrived home, and all Sammy could do was shrug.
âSo, what do we do?â
âWell⊠We should tell him. I mean, the sooner the better. Like ripping off a band-aid,â you said, studying his face as Sammy chewed on his lips, seemingly on the fence about it. âUnless you want to end itâŠ?â
Sammy met your eyes then, scowling at the idea.
âNo, of course not." You felt relief wash over you. "Itâs just⊠God, how did we not figure it out sooner? Where did my detective skills go?â
âMaybe the sex had something to do with it.â
Well, it was all easier said than done. It had been weeks since you discussed the ways of how to tell your brother. Should you speak to him together? Probably. But then it would seem like you were ganging up on him. Maybe you should tell him, you could calm him down in case he freaked. But that would seem like Sammy was just purposefully going behind his back, like he wasât even willing to face him. So maybe Sammy should tell him. He knew how to communicate worse things than this, so he could sit Ben down in his favorite restaurant, butter him up a bit and just get it out.
Shit. There was no good way to go about this.
You mentioned to Ben that you were seeing someone but didnât give him any more details. And that was it, the conversation kind of ended there. You knew then that you werenât able to tell him on your own. So, together it was.
However, both you and Sammy were stalling, and you often forgot about this whole mess of a situation when you were together, losing yourselves in each otherâs presence. It was probably also because it was kind of exciting. To have this kind of secret, to be in this shared bubble with Sammy.
But it was harder on him, because he had to look Ben in the eye every single day and lie. Well, not lie per se, because the topic never really came up, but he still wasnât truthful.
âMy sister is actually seeing some guy. Wouldnât even tell me his name or what he does,â Ben said one day, and it instantly made Sammy squirm in his seat, paranoia taking over him and making him think that Ben had found out somehow. I mean, he wasnât stupid.
âYeah?â
âYeah. And I mean, itâs her life, she knows what sheâs doing. But Iâm a little worried for her,â Ben said, causing Sammy to frown. âShe never really had a serious relationship, you know. No doubt our deadbeat father had something to do with that, but...â
âSo, you mean sheâs like you? Changing her men like she changes her socks? Runs in the family?â Sammy tried to sound nonchalant, but Ben only put him on edge.
Ben chuckled at that.
âNo, not like that. I think she just got so used to being on her own that she doesnât want to put the energy into a relationship. To share her space. Or, she gets bored. I donât know, man.â The car was now quiet, with Ben still pondering on his sisterâs life choices while Sammy felt a lump in his throat. And to make it worse, Ben continued. âI mean, look at her, she couldnât even settle down in a city for once. Iâm just waiting for her to move back to Seattle or wherever the hell she chooses.â
Sammy was going to be sick.
âRight.â
Ben managed to numb Sammyâs head with all the crap he'd said and it made him feel scared all of a sudden. Was that what he was to you? Just a toy youâd throw away once you'd had your fill? After Tammi, he didnât know what to think. He trusted her so many times and she let him down over and over again, and he wasnât going to let you do the same.
âSo, Ben told me an interesting thing today,â Sammy said, seated in your kitchen chair.
âYeah? Whatâs that?â you asked, munching on a cookie as you came over to him and sat yourself sideways on his thigh, hooking your arm around his neck.
âHe told me youâd never had a serious relationship,â Sammy said bluntly, watching your expression change to confusion.
âAnd? I never wouldâve thought that would be a problem for you.â You took another bite, fully believing that Sammy wasn't going to make a scene about you never having a serious relationship.
âWell, he said that you either get bored or you donât want to put up with the guys. Eventually. So I would like to know which group Iâll fall into.â
You clenched your jaw, studying his face with squinted eyes, trying to figure out if he was joking or not.
âRight now, youâre falling into a group of jerks, Sam. Are you serious?â
He chewed on his cheek, lifting an eyebrow as he shrugged. That expression finally made you get off his lap, turning away from him as you crossed your arms over your chest, thinking about what to say. Should you explain yourself? Wouldnât that come across as defensive? What exactly would you be explaining anyway? Should you yell at him and kick him out? What were you supposed to do?
âIâve never had a serious relationship, because the guys were either assholes or we just didnât click.â
âAnd how do you decide that exactly?â Sammy stood up, stepping towards you in a swift motion. âIs every guy an asshole when it comes to you, then? You think you're too good for them?â
Your body span around, scoffing as you faced him. Unbelievable.
âApparently, yeah. Look at yourself. Sammy, what the fuck did Ben tell you?â You tried to stop the tears from welling up in the corners of your eyes. âWeâve been seeing each other for months, because I actually like you. And whatâ would you expect me to settle for the first guy that throws me a smile and calls me kitten?â The tears slipped down, tickling your cheeks and it made you press the heels of your palms against your eye sockets. âFuck!â you cursed through clenched teeth, frustrated. You seriously had no idea what he wanted from you.
Shaking your head, you turned away, wiping at your face on your walk to the bathroom. Once there, you sat down on the plush rug and leaned your back against the shower door, letting yourself weep.
In the kitchen, Sammy closed his eyes and let himself breathe. He needed to chill out. Needed to relax his fists.
All he wanted to do was to settle down, to finally meet the love of his life and spend the rest of his life with her. He had thought Tammi was it. And maybe you were right when you said that he expected you to settle for the first guy youâd dated, because thatâs exactly what Sammy did with Tammi. And it was the stupidest thing he could have done, he had realized that a while ago, so he didnât really know why his perspective changed back all of a sudden. You just made him fucking crazy.
A few minutes passed and Sammy headed to the bathroom, hoping you didn't lock yourself. He was greeted by the sight of you chewing on your lip and your jaw clenching, probably holding yourself from punching the fuck out of him. Your foot jumped up and down and your eyes rolled when you saw him. Yeah. You definitely wanted to deck him.
âIâm sorry,â Sammy said as he kneeled in front of you, but you avoided his gaze. âCan you look at me? Please?"
You only shook your head, another wave of tears rolling out. Sammy sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to make you.
âIâm sorry,â he said again, âI screwed up. I shouldnât have jumped to conclusions. But Ben said you couldnât settle down, because of your father. That youâd move away again. And my ego just plummeted, while my insecurities skyrocketed.â Sammy watched another tear escape your eye, and his hand itched to swipe it away, but you were faster. âBecause I want to be enough for you. I want to make you happy and I donât want you to leave.â
Your eyes finally darted towards him and you sniffled, pinching the collar of your shirt and using the material to wipe your eyes.
âNext time, donât listen to my fucking brother. Especially when he mentions our father,â you said, your tone weak as you still fought the lump in your throat, but it still had a warning bite to it. âAnd donât you come fucking accusing me like that ever again. I know youâre not an asshole, but you sure were acting like one.â
âI know, Iâm sorry.â
You shook your head, closing your eyes as you huffed. Swallowing, you shifted to your knees and extended your arms, wrapping them around his neck. He welcomed your hug with a relieved sigh, burying his nose into your neck and taking in your smell. Your cheek was squished against his shoulder, creating a wet spot on the soft material of his tactical, long-sleeve shirt, soaking it through. He rocked your body back and forth as he kissed the skin of your neck before pulling away and taking in your puffy face.
Sammy wiped the remaining wetness from your cheeks with his sleeve, even getting the snot under your nose which made you jerk away and a smile creep up on your face. âYouâre disgusting.â
âWhat?â he watched you get up and stop in front of the mirror. âJust cleaning my mess.â
âYou donât have to kiss my ass. I forgave you.â You splashed your face with cold water before wiping it with your towel.
Normally, Sammy would make a lewd comment about kissing your ass, but now was really not the time. So he just settled for, âCan I stay?â
You rolled your eyes, a small smile still playing on your lips as they breathed out a quiet of course. You turned away from him then and exited the bathroom without another word.
Sammy knew you were trying to act indifferent. Pretending like this hadnât somehow altered your relationship, and to be fair, you probably did want to sweep it under the rug. But he knew heâd hurt you, and just because youâd forgiven him didnât mean he would act like nothing happened.
So, he cooked you dinner. Put on your favorite show with that actor that made you giggle and kick your feet. Let you think that the the attack you made with your piece during a chess game wasnât against the rules. Traced shapes on your back for you to guess until you fell asleep. And the next morning, he made your favorite breakfast for you. Right after he made love to you.
Sammy realized soon that he shouldnât have gotten pissed at what Ben said. He should have gotten selfishly proud about the fact that he was in your life unlike the assholes that couldnât keep you, but instead, he almost fucked it up like them, letting his failed marriage with Tammi get the better of him.
But he couldnât even compare his previous relationship to this one. Tammi had more than one screw loose, making their relationship doomed from the start. He just hadnât realized it then, since his mind had been fogged by all the weed they smoked together.
Either way, Sammy was sure his mom would smack his head for the way heâd acted. She taught him better than this, not to mention she wouldâve been pissed if heâd screwed it up before she got to meet the girl her son was always gushing about.
âWe need to tell him,â you said after you cleaned the kitchen, your tone definitive, making Sammy pause as he rinsed his mouth with the mouthwash. He saw your reflection in the mirror, your arms crossed over your chest. He spat out the liquid and you continued, âIâm not really interested in letting any more misunderstandings ruin this relationship.â
âOkay,â Sammy agreed, wrinkles appearing on his forehead as he turned towards you, studying your face. âAre we good?â
Rolling your eyes, you came closer to him as he leaned against the sink, bracing himself with his palms against the edge. You circled both of his wrists with your fingers before sliding them up his forerarms, feeling the veins through his skin. You stood on your tiptoes to peck his lip. âNo. Weâre not good. Thatâs why I want to tell Ben, so he can kick your ass.â
âHa. Youâre so fucking funny,â Sammy mumbled, a teasing smile spreading on his face as he bobbed his head, catching your wrists and tugging, making you crash against his chest. âYou know that? Know how hilarious you are? I should sell you to a fucking circus.â
You grinned at him and before you knew it, he was pinching your sides, making you cackle as you tried to escape his hold, but his forearm against your stomach trapped you to his body, and you fell victim to his torture.
Later that morning, you headed to work, leaving Sammy in your apartment since he had the day off anyway. You gave him your spare key and told him to lock the door once he left.
You agreed to drive to his place right after work, because you planned to spend the rest of the week at his house since Sammy actually had the whole weekend off, and you didnât want to cramp up at your apartment.
Besides that, it was a great hiking area, and you already mapped out some trails which you were looking forward to, as well as getting some fresh air and spending time with Sammy.
You were balancing a bowl of ice-cream topped by a few M&Mâs in your lap, your legs stretched over Sammyâs thighs as you lounged on his couch.
You both frowned, Sammy's tongue poking into his cheek as he lifted your legs off his lap before gently putting them down on the cushions. He headed to the door and when he opened it, he immediately braced his arm against the doorframe to block the view inside as he saw Ben standing on his porch.
âHey, man. What are you doing here?â Sammy laughed nervously.
âWell, you were supposed to help with the detective exam questions, right?â
âŠ
Shit. He was right. Sammy promised Ben to go over it with him and he totally fucking forgot.
âBut seeing my sisterâs car in your driveway, Iâm here to ask, what the fuck is she doing here?â
Ben didnât wait for an answer, shoving past Sammy and storming right into the living room.
âBen, wait,â Sammy tried to stop him, but he wasnât hearing it. You were, though, your eyes widening at the sound of your brotherâs name followed by heavy stomps, and it made you straighten up as you prepared for the worst. Ben only scoffed when he came into view, pacing behind the couch.
âWhat the fuck is this?â he asked, dragging his hands down his face before extending them in front of him with palms up. âI mean, what the fuck, Sammy?â
âBen, calm down,â you said, standing up and coming closer to him.
âAre you screwing my sister?â
âBen!â you tried to get him to talk to you instead, but his focus was solely on Sammy.
âWeâre dating,â Sammy corrected, but that really didnât help anything.
âOh! Oh, youâre dating. Well then, that explains everything, doesnât it?â Ben fake-laughed, his hands on his hips now as he faced Sammy. âHow long have you been dating?â
âA few months.â
Ben shook his head, sneering at his supposed friend. âSo, youâve been lying to my face for a few months?â Ben closed up on Sammy, their noses inches apart as if they were having a face-off. âYouâre so full of shit, Sammy. All that bullshit about trusting your partner? Youâre such a fucking hypocrite.â
âBen, we didnât know thatââ you tried to reason, but Ben just hissed a save it at you. And you did.
âListen to her, man,â Sammy continued, as calmly as possible. âI didnât know you were her brother until recently.â
Ben shook his head again, snorting at the poor explanation, the sound followed by a painful silence. It was when Sammy met your gaze over Benâs shoulder that your bortherâs fingers grasped the front of Sammyâs shirt, and his fist connected with Sammyâs face, making him groan at the impact and his body twist away as his hand shot up to his face.
âWhat the fuck, Ben?â you screamed, but your brother was already storming out of the house. You didnât follow him. Letting him cool off was the best choice for now.
Your feet carried you to Sammy, your hand coming to his back as he braced himself on the back of the couch with one arm.
âLet me see,â you said gently, willing his hand away with yours. You already saw his palm stained with blood, some of it even dripping on the floor. âWait, you know what, letâs go to the bathroom, come on.â
âIâm fine,â he rasped out.
âYeah, well, your couch wonât be if you stay here, and itâs not gonna be easy to get the bloody stains out. But you know that, donât you? So, come on.â
Sammy groaned again, and you let him go ahead, getting some tissues first because you werenât sure if he had any in the first-aid kit right now.
Meanwhile, Sammy washed his face only to have it covered in blood again as it trickled out of his nose. As soon as you brought the tissues, he used one to give his nose a good pinch, squeezing his eyes shut as he bent over the sink.
You were frowning next to him, gently petting his hair and tracing your fingers along his ear.
âShould I bring you an ice-pack?â
Sammy shook his head, his voice congested when he spoke. âNah, Iâm good.â
After a while, he sniffled, removing the bloody tissues before looking at his reflection. It seemed that the bleeding had stopped, but his nose was a dark shade of pink, a little swollen. Not broken though, hopefully. Some of the discoloration reached the skin under his eye too. He splashed some water on his face once again, cleaning himself up.
âIâm sorry,â you said from your place next to him, guilt washing over you. âI never thought he would react like this.â
âYeah, well,â Sammy stood to his full height, facing you. âI deserved it. And itâs not your fault. He was right, anyway. Iâm always saying that your partner is supposed to have your back, not go behind.â
âBut you do have his back. He was never going to get killed because we were seeing each other.â
âItâs not just about getting killed⊠I just shouldnât have lied,â Sammy bit his cheek, his eyes darting sideways.
You wrapped your arms around his ribcage, slotting yourself against him. You were relieved when you felt his arms wrap around you, his cheek landing itself on the crown of your head. You felt his chest expand as he took in a deep inhale.
You explained that it was probably Benâs general overprotectiveness of women that made him lash out. That it wasnât just them hiding their relationship. Several things came together at once.
âHeâll get over it. He looks up to you, Sam. He knows youâre a good man and this was just a lapse in judgement. From both of us.â
âYeah. I think weâll have to change our Sunday plans, though. I should pay him a visit before we go to work on Monday.â
âOf course. Iâll come with you.â
âOkay.â
Sammy proved to you again and again that he truly had his heart in the right place. And while he had his flaws, he was always trying to do good by people.
Ben was still angry when you arrived at his place. Or maybe more like annoyed. But he did let you both in, which you supposed was a good sign.
He was still throwing daggers in Sammyâs direction, but as you explained the whole situation, swearing that you had never meant to lie, Benâs stares softened and his fists eventually unclenched. He even asked Sammy about his nose.
When you got up to leave, the two men shook hands, patting each other on their shoulders before Ben walked you out.
âGo ahead, Iâll catch up,â Sammy said, pushing you softly with his fingers as he handed you the keys to his car.
Once you were out of earshot, Sammy faced Ben.
âIâm sorry you found out this way, Ben. But I promise you that Iâm not going to hurt her. You can⊠shoot me in the leg if I do,â Sammy said, only half-joking.
Ben huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. âI know. Now, get out of my face. Donât keep my sister waiting.â
Sammy gave a tight-lipped smile and nodded. âSee ya tomorrow.â
Ben watched your smile grow when Sammy got inside the car. The only reason he got over it so soon was because he knew Sammy was a good guy and if anyone could treat you right, it was him.
âSo, now weâre like.. official.â
Sammy caged you against his kitchen counter, pressing himself to your front while you clasped your wrist with your hand behind his neck.
âI guess so.â
âLike, girlfriend-boyfriend official.â
You snorted at how ridiculous he sounded, but nodded anyway.
âI donât know what youâre laughing at.â
âYou sound like a thirteen-year-old.â
Sammy leaned down, pressing his lips against yours in a slow kiss, sucking on your lower lip before giving it a small nip, pulling a soft moan out of you.
âThat felt like a thirteen-year-old to you?â
âAre you trying to get me to incriminate myself?â
Sammy tipped his head back, inhaling with an open mouth as he pretended to think about it, his eyes darting between random objects.
âMaybe I should bring the cuffs home sometime. See if youâre still runnin' your mouth when I have you tied to the bed. All helpless. Nowhere to run.â
âOr, I should tie you up. Torture you until youâre screaming for mercy.â
Sammy nearly burst out laughing, wrinkles appearing around his eyes, and you bit your cheek as he laughed at you.
âIâm sorry, sweetheart.â He flicked at your chin with his index finger, still smiling from ear to ear. âItâs just cute when you say it like that. I almost called my lawyer.â
âYouâre an asshole,â you said, ready to pass around him, but he stopped by grabbing your hands and pressing you back into the counter with his hips, the edge digging into your ass.
âWait, wait. Iâll let you cuff me up. Whatever you want.â
He brought your hands back behind his head and you played with the hair at the nape of his neck as he kissed you again.
He snaked his tongue between your lips, and without breaking the kiss, Sammy bent in his knees, grabbing you by the undersides of your thighs and lifting you up on the counter.
He spread your legs, situating himself between them as he leaned into you, your head gently thudding against the kitchen cabinet behind you.
Sammyâs fingers skimmed against your bare knees and up your thighs, teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts until they reached for the band and started tugging.
âWait.â You broke the kiss and his hands paused. âI donât want to make a mess in your kitchen.â
âWhy?â
âWell⊠I donât know. Youâre okay with it?â
He huffed out a laugh.
âYeah,â he yanked on your shorts with all the strength he had, making your body jerk forward a little. âI want to fuck you right here, so I have something to reminisce about every time I make us dinner.â He tugged again and this time your shorts came free along with your panties.
Sammy got down on his knees, and as soon as his face was in front of your center, he inhaled, taking in your scent. You still couldnât get used to how shameless he was about it. And not only that, but sex in general.
He kissed along your thigh first, opening his mouth wide and sinking his teeth into the flesh. It made you yelp, and all he could do was unlatch himself from you and admire the dents in your skin. He brought his head closer to your center then, letting his forehead rest against your abdomen and his curls tickle your skin as he stuck his tongue out, licking you from your hole all the way up to your clit.
Your legs snapped close around his head, but he was quick to spread them apart with his hands circling your ankles and keeping you from closing them again, all while sucking on your throbbing clit.
Your hand came down to the back of his head, grasping his hairr and trying not to tug too hard as he grazed his teeth against the sensitive nub.
Sammy was watching you as you threw your head back, revelling in the was his tongue massaged your slit, kissing and slurping sloppily at your cunt. You moaned above him and it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.
Your nails scraped against the nape of his neck when his tongue plunged into you, and he had to flex his arms as your legs threatened to close once again.
He fucked you with the wet muscle, and when he felt you spasm around him, he withdrew it, returning his focus to your puffy clit. He sucked on you while drawing figure eights against the bundle, making your hips twitch against him as you neared the end.
It all came crashing down when he freed one of your legs and pushed two of his fingers into your cunt, hooking them inside and massaging the spongy spot.
Your hand tightened behind his neck, nails digging into his skin and creating small crescents, while your other arm shot up, palm slamming against the cupboard as your orgasm rippled through you.
He fingered you through it, and usually, he would stop once you started shoving at his head or his hand, but this time, he was glued to you, sucking on you like a leech.
You cried out a few stop's, and no more's, but to no avail.
You felt like you were on a roller coaster, coming down the railway track only to ascend again.
You were panting above him, and he quickened the pace of his fingers, slamming them into you as he kept his lips clasped around your sensitive clit, shaking his head from side to side, making you scream his name.
You hit him with your free knee as you came for the second time, trying to escape his working mouth and fingers in any way you could, but Sammy didnât care. He let your heel dig into his back, to scrunch up his shirt as your thigh slapped itself against his ear.
When Sammy finally removed himself, he grabbed your leg again and you felt your wetness against your calf. He stayed on his knees watching your stomach move up and down, before his eyes drifted to your twitching cunt.
Sammy watched your cum dribble down onto the countertop, and he couldât help but ghost his fingers over the length of your pussy, making your hips jerk, before dipping them in the pool of your wetness decorating the marble surface. He brought his fingers to your mouth, and you licked at them, cleaning them with your tongue as you tasted yourself.
Sammy took you off the counter then, turning you around and bending you over as he unbuckled the belt of his jeans.
The clasps bit into your skin as he fucked you against the counter, your brains dissolving to the extent that you didnât even think twice when he asked you to clean the mess you made. You licked it off with your tongue, some of it getting onto your nose before he grabbed you by your neck and yanked you upwards, your body arching against him. He kissed your cum-covered lips, tasting you one last time, before he made you cum around in cock, with Sammy following shortly after.
Your legs almost gave up on you, and if it wasnât for Sammy holding you up, you would have probably toppled to the ground.
When you were able to stand on your own, you went to take a shower while Sammy really cleaned the countertop, only because you shot him a look when he half-joked that he wouldnât mind to let it get dry and you know⊠'leave it like that'.
He took a shower right after you before joining you on the couch only in his shorts. You snuggled into his bare chest, your cheek against his collar bone as you looked up at him, letting yourself admire him again, his cheeks still a little pink, his lips curled into a soft smile while his eyes looked so warm and loving.
Your eyelashes fluttered as you glanced down before looking back up.
âI love you,â you said, and Sammy leaned down to kiss your nose.
âAre you saying that because of the sex?â
You knew he was teasing, your cheeks cramping from the widened smile as you slowly swung your from side to side.
âYouâre horrible. You canât be serious for even just one second.â
âYeah, because you wouldnât even like me if I tried to play out a rom-com scene with you.â
And he was right. It was his loud, annoying ass that you loved about him. Among other things.
âBut,â he said as he pinched your chin between his thumb and index, making you look at him, âI love you, too.â
wc: 8.9k (oof)
pairing: jack abbot x wife!reader
summary: when the doors of the pitt swing open to reveal you on the gurney, dr. jack abbotâs world shatters, forcing him to fight for two lives he didn't know were at stake.
c.warning: angst with happy ending; established relationship (married); major medical trauma; graphic depictions of injury; mentions and discussions of abortions in the past; mentions of pregnancy/pregnancy loss scare; jack abbot crashing out; mentions of car accident; near-death experience; never mind the medical accuracy or lack thereof (i tried my best but iâm still not a doctor)
a/n: this got out of control. it was supposed to be a usual 3k one-shot but then i kept writing and well here we are now. also shout out to my friend paula that helped me do all the medical research for this one so i didnât embarrass myself with all the inaccurate doctor talk. love u girl <3
the fluorescent lights of the hospital always seem to hum a little louder when the er is quiet. itâs a sterile, buzzing vibration that grates on jackâs nerves more than the usual cacophony of sirens and shouting.
he leans against the nurseâs station, a lukewarm cup of bitter black coffee forgotten in his hand. he checks his watch. 2:14 pm. the numbers blurring slightly from sheer exhaustion. his shift was supposed to have ended hours ago, but the universe had other plans.
first, a multi-car pileup at dawn bled into a series of critical post-ops. then, every time he had tired to reach for his coat, another âone last thingâ tethered him back to the floor. now, nearly ten hours into a forced double, the walls feel like theyâre closing in. all he wants right now is to be through his front door, to shed the smell of antiseptic and the weight of the hospital, and to finally disappear into the quiet comfort of his home, where you were probably already waiting for him.
âitâs too quiet,â dana mutters as she organizes a stack of charts.
jack offers a ghost of a tired smile. âdonât say the âqâ word. youâll jinx us.â
his mind drifts, as it often does during these rare lulls, back to you. he thinks about the way you looked when he left. half-asleep, tangled in the duvet in your hared bed, grumbling about the warmth leaving you as jack got out of the bed. heâd kissed your forehead, whispered that heâd be home by eight, in time to share breakfast with you, and headed into the belly of the beast. as he walked into the hospital, he felt a rare pang of guilt; heâd been working so many double shifts lately that your shared home felt more like a hotel.
iâll make it up to her, he thinks. maybe he can take you out to that new sushi bar you showed him on your phone the other day. no, youâll probably prefer thai. youâve always loved-
the thought is cut short by the sharp, rhythmic chirp of the trauma radio. the sound like a physical blow to the silence.
âdispatch to mercy trauma, we have a level 1 activation. multiple vehicle collision, pileup on the i-579. initial reports suggest a jackknifed semi and at least six passenger vehicles. multiple red-tags. first eta is four minutes. lead bus is carrying a female, blunt force chest trauma, unstable vitals, gcs of 6.â
the er transforms in a heartbeat. the âslumpâ dies instantly, replaced by the practiced, frantic choreography of a trauma team whoâs been through this million times.
robby, that was contrasting the lab results from one of his patients jumps into action.
âabbot, i need you in trauma. we need to get bays 1 and 2 ready. i want respiratory on standby. grab the o-neg. if this is a pileup, weâre going to be drowning in ten minutes.â
âletâs go!â jack barks, his voice dropping into that authoritative, calm register that defined him as he signals some of the residents to follow him,
the coffee is now discarded and forgotten on danaâs desk as jack pulls on a pair of gloves, the snap of latex echoing against the white, bright walls of room. here, in the chaos of trauma 1, heâs in his element. heâs dr. abbot, the man whoâs used to holding the line between life and death. he feels the familiar rush of adrenaline, the narrowing of his world until only the patients matter.
âeta one minute!â someone shouts.
robby stands at the ambulance bay doors, peering through the glass. a faint rain has started. a cold, miserable drizzle that blurs the red and blue lights of the approaching sirens.
the first ambulance screeches to a halt and the back doors swing open. immediately, a paramedic jumps out, already pumping a manual respirator. âfemale, trapped in the driverâs side for twenty minutes. we had to use the jaws. bp is 80 over 40 and dropping. sheâs trending toward traumatic arrest!â
robbyâs breath catches for a fraction of a second. his eyes scan the familiar face, noticing all the blood, the cuts and bruises.
no, he thinks. please, let it not be true.
âget her to bay 1!â he orders, returning to reality as he steps forward to catch the side of the gurney as it flies past.
as robby pushes the gurney, he refuses to look at the patientâs face. but when he walks past danaâs desk, he looks devastated, and she notices. rounding her desk, she walks next to him, matching his quick step.
âi need abbot out of that room,â he says. ânow.â
frowning, dana walks next to him.
âwhat? why?â
robby just shakes his head. âi need you to take him to trauma 2. anywhere, really. just⊠away fromâŠâ
but itâs already too late.
jackâs eyes are locked on the gurney, tracking the way the patientâs body jolts with every bump of the wheels, noticing the blood-soaked bandages on her chest.
âon three! one, two, three!â
the paramedics help slide the patient onto the trauma table. and itâs only then, as one of the them pulls away the oxygen mask to swap it for the hospitalâs ventilator, that the world truly stops spinning.
the air leaves jackâs lungs as if heâd been punched.
âjackâŠâ robby tries, but he doesnât look at him. he canât react at all.
the female with blunt force chest trauma and unstable vitals isnât a stranger.
itâs you.
your face is ghostly pale under the smears of blood and road grime. your hair, which heâd smoothed back just hours ago in the quiet of your bedroom, is matted with glass shards. you lay limp, your chest barely moving, a hollow shell of the person he loves.
âjack?â danaâs voice comes from a distance, sharp and concerned. âjack, what are you doing? we need to intubate!â
jack abbot, the man who never flinches, who doesnât shake under stress, no matter how hard or critical the case, now stands frozen. his hands, usually as steady as stone, are shaking so violently they seem to rattle against the metal railing of the bed.
robby glances at dana over his friendâs shoulder, shaking his head.
âno,â jack whispers, the word catching in his throat. âno, no, noâŠâ
âokay, ârobby mutters to himself. âabbot, i need you to get out. now.â
but jack still canât react, he doesnât even flinch when dana closes her hand around his forearm, trying to pull him out of the room.
robby pushes past him. âsheâs crashing! i need a central line now! jack, get out of the way!â
robby grabs a scalpel, his movements clinical and fast. he doesnât stop to consider who is on the table. to him, right now you are just a âred tag.â he canât allow himself to think of anything else.
right now, you canât be the woman who has quickly become one of his closest friends, one of the main supports on his hardest days. the woman he proudly considers family, the same one he shared secrets and past anecdotes with when he came by to yours and jackâs house for dinner every month.
dana is still trying to get jack out of the room, threatening to call security on him when the attendingâs weak whisper makes her stop in her tracks.
âstop,â jack rasps, his voice cracking. he lunges forward, shaking danaâs hand off, too desperate. âstop. thatâs⊠thatâs my wife.â
the room goes dead silent for a heartbeat, save for the screaming of the heart monitor. robby looks up, nothing but pity for his friend boring in them.
âjack⊠you canât be in here, brother. you know the protocol.â
âi am not leaving her!â jack roars, his voice echoing off the trauma bay walls, raw and heartbroken. âmy wife is dying. i am not leaving her!â
âyouâre making it worse!â robby hisses back. âyouâre compromised! youâre going to kill her if you donât let us work!â
jack looks down at you. he sees the blood. he sees the way your heart rate is flickering on the screen like a dying candle. a cold, terrifying clarity suddenly washes over him. the panic doesnât disappear, of course it doesnât, but he forces it down into a small, dark box in the back of his mind.
he steps back slightly, chest heaving. but his hands stop shaking, the roaring in his ears slows to low hum, enough for him to hear his own thoughts again.
âfuck the protocol. iâm staying,â jack said, his voice now terrifyingly low and steady. ârobby, get the chest tube. and i need 10 of epi. now!â
he doesnât look at his colleagues as he works. he looks only at you.
âstay with me,â he whispers, so low only you could have heard it if you were awake. âdonât you dare leave me, do you hear me? stay with me.â
and so the chaos begins in the trauma bay. robby and jack, along with a couple of residents and some extra hands work together, in synchronicity.
âi need a fast exam, now!â jackâs voice cuts through the noise, steady but edged with desperation, focused on the monitors, on the jagged green lines of your heart rate, the terrifyingly low oxygen saturation. he tries not to look at you, knowing that if he did heâd see your eyes, closed and bruised, and he would shatter.
âjack, iâve got the ultrasound,â rabby says, his voice softer now, cautious.
he moves the probe over your abdomen, eyes flicking between the small screen and your still form.
youâre so still. the woman who loves dancing in the kitchen to grainy jazz records is now buried under layers of medical plastic and blood-stained gauze.
âweâve got internal bleeding,â robby mutters, his brow furrowing. âsheâs bleeding out into her peritoneum. jack, we need to get her to or immediately.â
âwait,â jack says, eyes falling to the darkening bruise on your lower belly. âcheck the pelvis. i want a full sweep. if thereâs a pelvic fracture we didnât seeââ
âiâm on it,â robby replies. he moves the probe lower, his movements clinical.
the room seems to go silent, though the machines are still screaming. jack watches the ultrasound screen, his mind already three steps ahead, calculating surgical approaches, estimating blood loss, praying to a god he hasnât spoken to in years.
then, the image shifts.
robby freezes. the probe stops moving.
on the grainy, black-and-white screen, nestled deep within the shadows of your body, is a small, unmistakable flicker. a pulsing light.
jackâs breath hitched. his world, already tilted on its axis, began to spin violently.
âjackâŠâ robbyâs voice was barely a whisper. âis thatâŠ?â
âno,â jack breathes, the word a plea. âno, it canât be.â
he grabs the probe from robbyâs hand, his fingers slick with ultrasound gel. he presses it down again, his eyes wide and frantic as he searches the screen. and there it is. a gestational sac. maybe ten weeks. perhaps older. a tiny, fragile life tucked away inside the chaos of your broken body.
a life he didnât know about. a life you hadnât told him about.
âsheâs pregnant,â robby breathes from the bedside, his hand flying to his mouth.
the realization hits jack like a physical blow to the chest. this isnât about just you anymore. itâs about both of you. every choice he makes in the next ten minutes will not just decide the fate of his wife; it would decide the fate of their child, too.
âwe canât use the standard protocol, jack,â robby says, his voice rising in panic. âthe meds we were going to use for the induction, the ct scan, the radiationâŠâ
âi know!â jack roars, the sound raw and guttural. he drops the probe and it hits the floor with a dull thud.
the âdoctor modeâ he has spent years perfecting, the emotional armor he wears like a second skin, cracks wide open. the image of that tiny, flickering heartbeat burned into his retinas. he sees you then; not as a patient, not as a âred tag,â but as the mother of his child, dying on a cold metal table because of a patch of ice and a moment of bad luck.
the room begins to tilt. the bright fluorescent lights turned into blinding white spots. the sound of the ventilatorâhiss-click, hiss-clickâis like a ticking time bomb.
âjack, look at me,â robby says, stepping into his line of sight, grabbing jackâs shoulders. âjack, youâre hyperventilating. you need to step back.â
âi⊠i didnât know,â jack stammers, his legs suddenly turning to lead. âshe didnât⊠we couldnâtâŠâ
he looks back at you. your face is a mask of trauma, but in his mind, he sees you the way you were hours ago when he left you cold on your shared bed. the way you smiled at him. did you know then? maybe you were waiting for dinner to tell him.
the grief and the shock collide in his chest, stealing the air from his lungs. jackâs knees buckle.
âheâs going down!â robby cries, catching him under his arms before he hits the floor.
jack doesnât fight him. he canât. his strength is gone, evaporated. he slumps against the wall, his head in his hands, the bloodied plastic of his blue gown crinkling as he collapses.
âget him out of here,â robby orders, his voice firm as he takes over the lead position at the bed. ânow! someone, please, get him to the breakroom. iâll take her up. i promise you, jack, i will do everything. just go!â
jack feels hands on him, a strong grip pulling him up, guiding him away from the bed. he tries to resist, tries to reach out for you, but his body simply wonât obey.
as heâs led through the swinging doors, the last thing he sees is the team swarming around you, the red light of the blood bags hanging over your head, and the ultrasound screen, displaying that tiny, flickering heart once more.
the doors click shut, leaving him in the hallway, the rapid beat of his heart a deafening roar in his ears.
heâs a doctor. heâs a husband. and now, heâs a father.
and he might lose everything before the sun went down.
jesse lets go of his arm when they arrive at the breakroom, and with a quiet âiâm sorryâ and a gentle nod he leaves jack behind and returns to the room where the rest of the team is still fighting to save you.
you and the baby.
god, the mere thought raises tears to jackâs eyes.
a baby.
his baby.
biting the inside of his cheek, jack thinks of the previous times when he heard these news. of the sound of your excited, cheerful voice the first time you came up to him with a positive test.
unfortunately he also remembers your heartbroken wails as he hold you tight to his chest, both of you sitting on the bathroom floor at home. he remembers how he bit his lips, forcing himself to stay strong for you but wanting nothing more but to crumble into pieces right there.
you had stopped trying after the second miscarriage. a decision none of you wanted to made but that you needed in order to protect your own hearts and your sanity.
and now⊠now youâre laying on a cold, metal exam table, closer to death than youâve ever been and jack has everything to lose.
the breakroom smells of stale coffee and industrial-strength floor cleaner. itâs a room designed for brief reprieves, for five-minute naps and hurried meals, but right now, for jack, it feel like a cage.
he seats on the edge of a vinyl chair, his elbows on his knees, staring at his hands, at dark, shiny band on his left hand.
you are pregnant. the thought keeps looping in his mind, a frantic, broken record. how could he miss it? heâs a doctor, for godâs sake. he is trained to notice the smallest shifts in physiology, the subtle cues of the human body.
he thinks back to the last few weeks; your sudden preference for tea over coffee, the way youâd been falling asleep on the couch before the 11 oâclock news. heâd chalked it up to stress, to the gray pittsburgh winter, to his own grueling schedule and the fact that he didnât seem to have time to spare, time for you.
he closes his eyes and sees you in the kitchen three days ago, laughing at the ridiculous apron he usually wears when he cooks. you looked so vibrant, so incredibly alive. now, you have been reduced to a series of vitals on a monitor, a problem to be solved by people who donât know the sound of your laugh or your favorite movie from your childhood.
âgod, please,â he whispers into the empty room. now, jack abbot is hardly a religious man, but the silence of the hospital is demanding a sacrifice. âtake me. just⊠donât take them. please.â
the door creaks open and jack bolts upright, his heart hammering against his ribs. dr. robby, his best friend, his brother, stands there. heâs stripped off his bloody gown, but his scrubs are darkened with sweat. somehow, he looks older than he did twenty minutes ago.
âjack,â robby says, his voice level, cautious.
âtell me,â jack demands, his voice cracking. âplease, tell me. is she⊠are they-â
âsheâs still on the table,â robby says, stepping into the room and letting the door swing shut behind him. âweâve stabilized the splenic bleed, and the chest tube is draining well. but jackâŠâ robby letâs out a long, heavy sigh. â the situation is complicated. you know the physiology as well as i do.â
jack slumps back into the chair, the âdoctorâ part of his brain forcing its way through the grief. he does know.
in a trauma patient, pregnancy changes everything. the blood volume increases by 50%, which means a woman can lose a massive amount of blood before her blood pressure even begins to drop. by the time you see the âcrash,â itâs often too late.
âher vitals are brittle,â robby continues, leaning his back against the vending machine. âbecause of the pregnancy, her heart is already working overtime. and weâre struggling to keep her map high enough to perfuse the placenta without blowing out the repairs we just made.â
âand the baby?â jack asks, the word feeling foreign and heavy on his tongue.
âthe fetus is roughly twelve weeks,â robby says. âat this stage, thereâs no âsavingâ the baby independently. the only way to save the pregnancy is to save the mother. but the vasopressors weâre using to keep her pressure up⊠they cause vasoconstriction in the uterus. weâre effectively starving the baby of oxygen to keep her brain and heart alive.â
itâs the ultimate medical catch-22. to save you, they had to risk the baby. to save the baby, they might lose you.
âthe ultrasound showed some subchorionic hemorrhaging,â robby adds softly. âwith the impact of the steering wheel, the placenta might be starting to detach. if that happens, sheâll bleed out from the inside faster than we can pump blood into her.â
jack buries his face in his hands. he knows the statistics. he knows that in maternal trauma, fetal demise is as high as 40-50% depending on the severity of the crash.
âi should have been there,â jack groans. âi should have driven her. she told me the brakes felt âsoftâ last week and i told her iâd look at them on my day off. i didnât⊠i didnât look at them, robby.â
âjack, stop,â robby says firmly, walking the few steps separating him from his friend and crouching in front of him. âthe police report said a semi hydroplaned across the median. it wouldnât have mattered if she was driving a tank. donât do this to yourself.â
jack looks up, his eyes bloodshot and raw. âhow can i not?iâm the one whoâs supposed to fix people. i spend twelve hours a day stitching strangers back together, and the one person who matters,â his voice breaks. âi didnât even know she was carrying our child.â
robby sighs, his expression softening. âsheâs a fighter, jack. we both know that. sheâs held on this long. but i need you to stay here. if you go back in thereâŠ. i canât worry about you too. i need to focus on them.â
âi canât just sit here, man,â jack says, his voice rising. âiâm going crazy in this room.â
âthen go to the chapel. go for a walk. or go home. but do not come back to that room,â robby warns. âiâll send dana or jesse out when we have another update.â
as robby turns to leave, jack calls out, âwait.â
robby pauses at the door.
âthe heartbeat,â jack whispers. âwas it⊠was it still there when you left?â
robby hesitates for a fraction of a second, a beat that feels like an eternity to jack.
âit was,â robby says. âfaint. but it was still there.â
and with that, the door clicks shut, leaving jack alone again.
the breakroom remains too quiet for far too long. jack paces the narrow strip of linoleum between the coffee machine and the round table, his mind a minefield of memories. he keeps seeing you in the passenger seat of his car, laughing at some stupid joke he told, the sun reflecting the stars in your eyes. he keeps thinking about the baby, whose existence had already rewritten the map of his future, even if they havenât met yet.
then, the overhead speaker crackles. itâs a sound jack hears a dozen times a shift, a sound he usually meets with professional focus.
âcode blue, trauma 1. code blue, trauma 1.â
the world doesnât just tilt; it shatters.
trauma 1. your room.
jack is moving before his brain can even process the command. he throws open the breakroom door, the heavy wood slamming against the wall with a bang that echoes down the corridor. he doesnât care about protocol. he doesnât care about robbyâs orders. he doesnât care about his own career.
he runs.
the hallway feels miles long, the floor slick under his clogs. he passes a group of residents who scramble out of his way, eyes wide as they see night shift attending sprinting with a look of pure, unadulterated terror on his face.
he bursts through the double doors of the trauma bay, his lungs burning.
âjack, wait!â a nurse shouts, trying to grab his arm as he reaches the scrub sinks.
he doesnât even look at her. he pushes the doors open with his shoulder, crashing into the room like a storm.
the scene inside is a nightmare rendered in high-definition. the rhythmic, mechanical hiss-click of the ventilator has been replaced by the frantic, high-pitched scream of the heart monitor. a flat, unwavering ekg line that slices through the air like a blade.
robbyâs standing on a step-stool over your body, his hands locked, his weight throwing everything into the rhythmic compressions of your chest. crunch. crunch. the sound of ribs giving way under the pressureâa sound jack has heard a thousand timesâfeels like itâs his own bones that are snapping.
âjack, get out!â robby yells, not breaking his rhythm. his face is drenched in sweat, his eyes fixed on the monitor.
âwhat happened?â jack screams, stumbling toward the foot of the bed. âwhat the fuck happened?!â
âshe went into v-fib, then pea,â dr. santos shouts over the noise. she was at your side, her hands pressed firmly against the left side of your abdomen, pushing your pregnant belly toward the left.
jackâs medical brain registered it instantly. in a pregnant woman in cardiac arrest, the heavy uterus compresses the inferior vena cava, blocking blood from returning to the heart. if they donât push the baby aside, the compression robby is doing will be useless. thereâs no blood to pump.
âcharging to 200!â the tech shouts. âclear!â
robby jumps back. your body jolts off the table as the electricity surges through you. jack watches your hands, the same hands he loved to hold while you both were cuddling on the couch on a slow saturday, flop lifelessly back onto the sterile drape.
the line stays flat.
âagain!â jack roars, stepping up to the bed, his voice raw. âincrease to 300! charge it again!â
âjack, sheâs lost too much blood,â robby pants, resuming compressions. âthe acid-base balance is gone. her heart is too tired.â
âdonât you say that! donât you dare say that!â jack lunges forward, grabbing the paddles from the techâs hands. his eyes are wild, his breathing ragged. âmove, robby! move!â
robby hesitates for a second, then steps aside, hands raised in surrender, letting jack take over.
jack looks down at you. this close, he can see the gray tint creeping into your skin. he can see the way the light in the room seems to be fading out of you.
âyou do not leave me,â he hisses, the words a jagged prayer. âyou hear me? you stay. you stay for me, and you stay for this baby. do not do this to us.â
âcharged!â
âclear!â jack slams the paddles against your chest.
thump. your body arches. the monitors wail.
silence.
one second. two. three.
then, a tiny, erratic blip on the screen. then another.
âi have a rhythm!â dr. santos cries, her fingers pressed to your carotid artery. âi have a pulse! itâs weak, but itâs there!â
the room seems to exhale all at once, but the tension doesnât break. it just shifts.
âwe need to get the bleeding under control now,â robby says, his voice shaking. âjack⊠she canât take another arrest. if she codes again, we wonât get her back. the fetal heart rate is in the 60s.â
robby doesnât finish the sentence, but jack hears is loud and clear.
youâre both dying.
jack stands there, the paddles still in his hands, staring at the flickering green line of your heart. heâs covered in your blood, his gown torn, his soul laid bare in front of his entire team.
he looks at robby, and for the first time in his career, michael sees the âgreat jack abbotâ looking utterly broken.
âsave them,â jack whispers, his voice barely audible over the hum of the machines. âwhatever it takes, i donât care. just⊠donât let them⊠save them. please.â
robby nods slowly. âweâre going to try a high-risk embolization to stop the deep pelvic bleed. itâs the only way to avoid more surgery, but the radiation⊠itâs dangerous for the pregnancy.â
jack looks at your stomach, then back at your face. the choice is impossible.
life or life.
âdo it,â jack says, his voice hardening into a cold, desperate resolve. âsave her. save my wife. weâll deal with the rest when she wakes up.â
as they begin to prep the specialized equipment, jack doesnât leave. he backs into the corner of the room, his back against the cold tile. he watches them work, his eyes never leaving the monitor, counting every single beat of your heart as if he could keep it moving through sheer force of will.
the icu is a different kind of purgatory than the er. in the er, death is a screaming, bloody predator you could fight with a scalpel and a shout, something loud and violent. in the icu, death is a shadow. something silent, patient, and impossible to pin down.
itâs 11:45 p.m. hours have passed since you were moved up from the er.
now you lie in the center of a web of plastic tubing and wires, the steady, rhythmic hiss-click of the ventilator the only thing keeping the room from falling into a grave-like silence. a cooling blanket draped over your legs to keep your temperature regulated, and a specialized fetal monitor strapped across your bruised abdomen, its screen showing a jagged, persistent little line
142 bpm.
jack is sitting in the hard plastic chair pulled flush against your bedside. he hasnât changed out of his scrub bottoms, though someone forced him to put on a clean gray hoodie to cover the bloodstains on his undershirt. he looks older, tired. devastated. the harsh overhead led lights catch the new lines of exhaustion etched around his eyes.
heâs holding your hand, the only part of you that isnât covered in bandages or sensors. your skin feels paper-thin and cold.
âiâm here,â he whispers, his voice a dry rasp. âiâm not going anywhere.â
he checks the fetal monitor. that sound, the rapid thump-thump, thump-thump of the babyâs heart, is the most beautiful and terrifying thing he has ever heard. itâs a ticking clock. every beat a miracle, but also a reminder of how much he stands to lose.
âwhy didnât you tell me?â he asks softly, his thumb tracing the line of your knuckles, the stone crowning you ring finger cold and harsh against his skin.
were you scared? were you waiting for the ârightâ moment? god, he would have given anything for that moment to have been over dinner, or in bed, or literally anywhere but on a trauma table.
he leans his forehead against the metal railing of the bed, his eyes closing.
âi went through our messages while i was waiting for you to come out of the or,â he admits, a ghost of a self-deprecating laugh escaping him. âi looked for clues. i looked for a hint. and all i found were grocery lists and you telling me to come home early because you missed me. but i didnât come home, did i? i stayed for that extra shift. i stayed to fix people i didnât even know while you were⊠you were growing a life.â
his guilt is a physical weight, a cold stone in his stomach. heâs dr. jack abbot. heâs supposed to be the one with all the answers, the one who sees the things no one else notices. but he has been blind to the most important thing in his own world.
a nurse slips into the room, her movements practiced and quiet. she checks the bags hanging from the iv pole, her eyes lingering on jack with a mixture of pity and professional concern.
âthe babyâs heart rate is holding steady, dr. abbot,â she says softly, nodding toward the fetal monitor. âand her map is at 70. sheâs stable for now.â
âfor now,â jack repeats, the words feeling like ash. âstable is just another word for âwaiting for the next crisisâ in this building, and you know it, claire.â
âfrom what iâve heard, sheâs a fighter, jack,â the nurse replies, mirroring robbyâs words from earlier. âand so is the little one. iâve seen people come back from worse.â
ânot many,â jack mutters, but he squeezes your hand a little tighter.
when the nurse leaves, the silence rushes back in. jack stands up, his joints popping, and leans over you. he carefully places his hand on your stomach, right over the sensor. closing his eyes, he tries to feel through the layers of skin and muscle, trying to connect with the tiny being inside you that he had only just met through a grainy ultrasound screen.
âhey,â he whispers to your belly. âiâm your dad. iâm⊠iâm a bit of a mess right now, but iâm here. and i need you to do me a favor. i need you to keep fighting. i need you to give your mom a reason to wake up. because i donât think i can do this without her. i know i canât do this without her.â
before he can realize whatâs happening, a tear escapes, tracing a hot path down his cheek and landing on the sterile white sheet.
âiâll be better,â he promises, his voice cracking. âiâll be home. iâll fix the brakes. iâll learn how to be whatever you both need me to be. just⊠donât let go. please, donât let go.â
outside, the rain continues, now heavier, fiercer. but inside the room, time remains frozen. jack abbot, the man who usually held the cityâs lives in his hands, now seats back down and waits for the only life that truly matters to come back to him.
from time to time, doctors filter into the room, checking vitals, checking on jack. robby comes up from the er a couple of times to share a sympathetic smile with him, to promise that everything will be fine.
jack sighs, âiâm a doctor too, robby. you canât lie to me.â
âand iâm your friend and i know that a bit of hope is what you need right now.â
he stays for a while, keeping jack company until his pager calls him back to action.
âshouldnât you be home already?â jack asks. âyour shift was over hours ago.â
robby only shrugs. âpeople need me around here.â
at that, jackâs eyes regain that teary shine. nodding, he promises robby to call him if anything changes and waves his fiend goodbye before leaning back again on the chair, his eyes fixed on the slow rise and fall of your chest.
the world doesnât come back all at once. it returns in fragments. first, the rhythmic hiss of a machine, the smell of antiseptic, and a heavy, weighted warmth on your left hand. your eyelids feel like they had been leaded shut, but the persistent, low hum of the icu finally pulls you toward the surface of consciousness.
you groan, the sound catching in the back of your throat, dry and scratchy from the tube that has only recently been removed.
then thereâs the faint scratch of a chair scraping against the floor.
âhey⊠hey, look at me. open your eyes, sweetheart.â
that voice. you know that voice better than your own heartbeat. itâs the same voice that whispers sweet nothings into your ear at night, the same one that you hear in your warmest dreams. except now it sounds rough, exhausted, and trembling with a hope so fragile it feels like it might shatter any moment.
you force your eyes open. the light blinding at first, a sterile white haze, but then it focuses. jack. he looks like he hasnât slept in a week. his hair is a mess and his eyes, usually so sharp and clinical, are now swimming with tears.
âjack?â you rasp, your voice coming out as barely a breath.
âiâm here. iâm right here.â he leans over, his hand cupping your cheek with a tenderness that makes your chest ache. he kisses your forehead, his lips lingering there for a long moment as he takes a shuddering breath. âyou scared the hell out of me, love.â
you try to move, but a sharp pang in your abdomen makes you wince. memories start to bleed back in. the rain, the blinding headlights, the screech of metal. you instinctively try to reach for your stomach, but your arm feels like lead.
âthe⊠the accident⊠jack, iâŠâ
âitâs over,â he whispers, his thumb stroking your temple. âyouâre safe. iâve got you.â
a few minutes pass by until the door pushes open quietly. robby walks in, followed by an ob-gyn specialist you didnât recognize. robby looks at you, a genuine, relieved smile breaking through his professional mask.
âwelcome back,â robby says, checking the monitors. âyouâve had a hell of a day, but your vitals are finally starting to behave.â
the ob-gyn, a woman with kind eyes that introduces herself as dr. pauline , steps forward. âwe need to talk about why youâre feeling so much pressure in your abdomen, besides the surgical repairs.â
jackâs grip on your hand tightens. he looks at you, his expression a complicated map of wonder and fear.
âyouâre pregnant, dear,â dr. pauline says softly. âabout twelve weeks. the accident was severe, and the trauma to your body was significant. we had to perform some emergency procedures that were high-risk for the pregnancy, but as of twenty minutes ago, the fetal heartbeat is steady.â
the world stops right there and then.
you look from the doctor to jack, your mouth falling open. âpregnant? are you sure?â
dr. pauline nods and you have to bite your lip to keep it from trembling. jackâs grip on your hand tightens.
âitâs going to be a long road,â dr. pauline continues, her tone turning serious but encouraging. âyou have a lot of healing to do. your ribs and the internal repairs, plus the blood loss. and for the baby, weâre going to have to monitor you both every hour. thereâs some bruising near the placenta, so itâs going to take hard work, absolute bed rest, and a lot of time before we can say weâre completely out of the woods. but right now? right now, youâre both winning.â
âthank you, doctor,â you whisper, voice so small it makes jackâs chest squeeze. âand thank you, michael. jack told me you were the one who took care of me when i arrived.â
robby gifts you with a small, soft smile. grabbing your free hand, he gives it a squeeze.
âiâm glad i could help. but i donât think i couldâve done it without my team. or without dr. abbotâs aid.â
that has you snapping your attention back to jack.
âyou were there?â he simply nods, eyes glued to your hand, to the ring on your finger. âi thought you guys had protocols for that kind of thing.â
âwe do,â says robby, nodding.
âfuck the protocol,â barks jack at the exact same time. âmy wife was dying. what was i supposed to do? go home? i did what i had to.â
when your eyes finally connect with his again you see it, the utter exhaustion, but behind that thereâs something more. something raw and vivid.
âiâm so sorry,â you whisper. âiâm sorry you had to see that, jack. i canât even imagineâŠâ
âshhâŠâ leaning forward, jack offers you the safe space of his shoulder to cry. âwhat matters is that youâre alive, love. you both are.â
after the doctors finish their checks and leave the room, a heavy, comfortable silence settles over the two of you. jack doesnât let go of your hand. he seats on the edge of the bed, staring at you as if you were a ghost that might vanish if he blinked.
âjack,â you whispered, your voice a little stronger now. but you still feel the pressure of your tears threatening to spill at any given moment.
the thought of jack having to bring you back to life, your blood covering his gloved hands⊠knowing that he had to find out about something you had been suspecting for a couple of weeks through a scan in a trauma room in the erâŠ
âtwelve weeks,â he says, his voice thick with his own tears. âand you didnât⊠you didnât tell me.â
thereâs no accusation in his voice, only a profound, echoing confusion.
you look down at your hands, the plastic hospital bracelet stark against your skin. âi didnât know, jack. not for sure.â
jack doesnât speak, he holds on tight to your hand, dropping a feather like kiss on your knuckles.
âi was suspicious,â you admit, a small, tired smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. âbut i told myself i was just imagining it. that my brain was playing some twisted tricks on me. but then i started feeling so tired. then there was the coffee. god, the smell of it started making me nauseous about two weeks ago. iâve been drinking tea ever since.â
jack lets out a short, wet laugh, rubbing his face with his free hand. âiâm a doctor, i should have seen it. i should have known.â
âhow could you?â you reach out, brushing a stray hair from his forehead. âwe stopped looking for the signs a long time ago, jack.â
the air in the room shifts. the âlast two timesâ, two years of hope, two positive tests that ended in heartbreak before the first trimester was even over. they were the shadows that had lived in the corners of your apartment, the reason you both had stopped talking about possible names or color palettes for the nursery. you had both quietly agreed to stop trying, to protect what was left of your hearts.
âi didnât want to say anything until i was certain,â you whisper, tears pricking your eyes. âi couldnât handle seeing that look on your face again if it didnât stay. i was going to buy a test this weekend, i promise. i just⊠i wanted to be sure before i gave you hope again.â
jack leans down, pressing his forehead against yours. his breath hitches. âhope is all iâve had for the last few hours, watching you on those monitors. i donât care about the timing. iâve got you two now. and thatâs all i need.â
he moves his hand, sliding it under the hospital blanket to rest flat against your stomach. his palm is warm, steady, and large enough to cover nearly the entire area where the new life rests tucked away.
âweâre going to do the work,â he vows, his voice low. âwhatever the doctors say. whatever it takes. iâm not losing either of you. weâve fought too hard to get here.â
for the first time since the sirens started screaming hours ago, the tension in jackâs shoulders finally breaks.
you rest your head on his shoulder, the steady thump-thump of his heart syncing with yours. it isnât the perfect, easy ending. there are months of recovery ahead and a thousand medical hurdles to jump but for now, in the quiet of the icu, the three of you are together.
âi love you,â he whispers into your hair.
âi love you too,â you breath, finally letting your eyes drift shut. âboth of us.â
the transition from the icu to the step-down unit was supposed to be a victory. it has been ten days since the crash. your chest tube is out, your color is returning, and jack has finally stopped vibrating with the manic energy of a man haunted by ghosts.
but the âpittâ never let anyone relax for long.
jack is sitting in the armchair, his laptop open as he tries to catch up on charts while staying by your side. you are propped up on pillows, picking at a bowl of fruit, when a sharp, searing cramp radiates across your lower abdomen.
it isnât like the dull ache of your healing surgical incisions. this is different. cold. deep.
âjack,â you gasp, the plastic fork clattering onto the tray.
heâs at your side before the fork hit the floor. âwhat is it? whereâs the pain?â
âcramping. hard.â you grip his forearm, your knuckles turning white. âit feels⊠it feels like the last times, jack.â
the color drains from his face, but the doctor in him takes the lead before he can panic. he throws back the blankets. and there it is. a small, terrifying smear of crimson on the white sheets.
âpauline! anyone! i need a fetal doppler in here now!â jack shouts toward the hallway, his voice cracking the quiet of the ward.
minutes felt like hours. dr. pauline rushes in, her face set in a grim mask of professional focus. jack stands in the corner, his hands pressed against his mouth. unfortunately, he knows too much. he knows all the signs, just like he knows that post-traumatic subchorionic bleeds could trigger labor or a final, fatal abruption.
the room is filled with the static sound of the doppler searching.
whoosh. whoosh.
the sound of your own pulse, too fast, too frantic.
then, a silence that feels like a death sentence.
âcome on,â pauline whispers, moving the probe. âcome on, little one.â
thump-thump-thump-thump.
the sound burst into the room. fast, rhythmic, and stubborn.
âheart rate is 150,â pauline exhales, a visible wave of relief washing over her. âthe cervix is closed. itâs a âthreatenedâ event, likely just the hematoma from the accident draining. but we are increasing your progesterone and you are on strict, absolute bed rest. no sitting up, no laptop, nothing but breathing.â
jack doesnât move for a long time after she leaves. he just leans his head against the wall, his chest heaving. the setback lasted only ten minutes, but it had aged him a decade.
âjack,â you call his name softly, patting the free space next to you on the bed.
he walks over and sat on the edge, taking both of your hands in his. âwe almost lost the light,â he whisper. âi canât⊠i donât know that i could take it if it happened again, sweetheart.â
âwe didnât lose it,â you said, pulling his hand to your cheek. âtheyâre still here. weâre still here.â
jack sighs with relief, nodding. he leas down to press a soft, careful kiss to your lips.
three weeks later, the air in pittsburgh finally shifts from the bitter bite of winter to the hesitant warmth of early spring.
youâre not wearing a hospital gown anymore. instead, you wear one of jackâs oversized soft hoodies and a pair of leggings, sitting in a wheelchair by the large windows of the garden pavilion. you are still weak, and your gait is a slow, painful shuffle, but today is the day the doctors, your husband included, have circled in red on the calendar.
week 14. the beginning of the second trimester. the safe zone.
jack walks into the pavilion carrying two cups of herbal tea and a small, rectangular envelope. he looks different today. heâs actually shaved, and for the first time since the night of the pileup, the haunted look in his eyes has been replaced by a quiet, steady glow.
âhappy second trimester,â he says, leaning down to kiss the top of your head.
âwe made it,â you breathe, looking out at the budding trees. âi honestly didnât think we would.â
âi have something for you,â he says, sitting on the bench beside your chair. he hands you the envelope with a bright smile.
you open it with trembling fingers. inside isnât a medical chart or a bill. it is a high-resolution 3d ultrasound from that morningâs check-up.
the image is vividly clear. you can see the curve of a tiny nose, the miniature perfection of ten fingers tucked near a chin, and the long legs that robby joked would make the kid a track star.
âlook at that nose,â jack whispers, his finger tracing the print. âthatâs your nose.â
âyeah. thatâs your chin, though,â you laugh softly, a tear of pure, uncomplicated joy sliding down your face. âthe abbot stubbornness is already visible.â
while you are still contemplating the small piece of warmth and joy that was still growing inside of you, jack reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, velvet box. you look at him, confused.
âjack? weâre already married.â
âi know,â he says, opening the box to reveal a delicate band with a tiny, shimmering stone on top. the birthstone for the month the baby was due. âbut the night of the crash, i realized iâd spent so much time being a doctor and a provider that i forgot to be a good husband. i forgot to celebrate the life we were building.â
he takes your hand, sliding the ring onto your finger next to your wedding band.
âthis is a promise,â he says, his voice thick with emotion. âno more double shifts when i donât have to. no more missed dinners. from here on out, itâs the three of us.â
you lean your head back against the headrest of the wheelchair, looking from the ring to the ultrasound, and then to the man who quite literally pulled you back from the edge of the grave.
the trauma is still there, the scars on your body and the stiffness in your limbs would be reminders for a long time, but as the sun warms your skin, the angst of the past month finally begins to dissolve.
âjack?â
âyeah?â
âi think i want thai food tonight.â
jack laughs. and itâs a real, booming abbot laugh that echoes through the garden. âyou heard the boss,â he whispers to your stomach. âthai it is.â
bonus
the spare bedroom at the end of the hall had spent years as a storage space for jackâs medical journals and your half-finished art projects. it had been a room of âmaybe someday,â a door you both tended to keep closed, preferring to keep the bad memories on the other side.
now, six months after the rain-slicked pavement nearly took everything, the door stands wide open and the scent of paint lingers in the air. a soft, muted sage green that jack spent three weekends perfecting because he refused to let anyone else touch the walls.
you seat in the newly assembled rocking chair, your hand resting atop the prominent, solid curve of your stomach. the baby is active today, a rhythmic tapping against your ribs that feels like a secret code. you are thirty-four weeks along, a milestone that, for a long time, felt like a destination on a map you werenât allowed to reach.
âi think the crib is slightly crooked,â jack mutters, kneeling on the floor.
he was wearing an old pittsburgh steelers t-shirt, his hair disheveled, looking less like the formidable dr. abbot of the er and more like⊠like you husband, who was utterly determined to defeat a piece of furniture.
âjack, itâs perfect,â you laugh softly. âthe level said itâs straight. youâve checked it four times.â
âfive,â he corrects, standing up and wiping his hands on his jeans. he walks over to the crib, shaking the railing with enough force to test a bridge. âi just⊠i need it to be steady. everything has to be steady.â
you reach out, taking his hand and pulling him towards you. immediately, he sinks onto the ottoman at your feet, resting his head against your knees. the fierce, protective energy he carries is a byproduct of the trauma; a lingering shadow of the man who collapsed back in that trauma room. but it was softening, replaced by a deep, quiet anticipation.
âoh. i just remembered. we havenât opened michaelâs gift yet,â you say, pointing to the changing table.
sitting atop a stack of colorful onesies is a beautifully wrapped box with a heavy silver bow. next to it is a card embossed with the university of pittsburgh medical center logo.
according to jack, robby dropped it off at the nurseâs station for him to bring home.
âhe said if he had to hear me talk about âfetal heart rate variabilityâ during a trauma shift one more time, he was going to quit, so he bought this to shut me up,â he said as he lay the box on the changing table the other night.
you open the card first. in robbyâs cramped, hurried physicianâs handwriting, it read:
to my dear friends (and my future favorite abbot),
iâve known you two for a long time and i truly canât think of anyone better to take care of each other. i also know that kid will be so lucky to get to call you two mom and dad. i canât wait to meet the little one.
congratulations on the final stretch!
â robby
inside the box is a high-tech, medical-grade infant vitals monitor, the kind that synced to a smartphone. itâs exactly the kind of gift dr. robby would give: a way to keep watch even when the lights were out. underneath the monitor was a tiny, hand-knitted sweater with a small stethoscope embroidered on the pocket.
âheâs a softie,â you whisper, running your hand over the wool.
âdonât tell him i said so, but heâs the reason weâre sitting in this room,â jack said, his voice drops into that low, honest tone he saved only for you. he looks up at you, his eyes reflecting the soft nursery light. âwhen i saw you on that table⊠i forgot how to be a doctor. i forgot how to breathe. he held the line until i could find my way back.â
jack stands up and leans over you, pressing a long, lingering kiss to your forehead before moving down to press his ear against your belly. he waits, silent and still, until the baby delivers a sharp kick right against his cheek.
âhey there,â jack whispers to the bump, a grin breaking across his face. âi hear you. weâre ready for you. everything is ready.â
he stands back, surveying the room; the crib, the sage-green walls, the gift from his brother, the man who helped save your lives, and the woman who was his entire world. the angst of the pitt, the screams of the monitors, and the cold terror of the icu feel like a lifetime ago. they are just scars now. like faded, silver lines that proved they survived the storm.
âdo you think the baby will like the room?â you ask.
jack wraps his arms around you from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder as you both look out at the quiet pittsburgh street below.
âsheâll love it,â jack promises.
the sun begins to set outside the window, casting a warm, golden glow over the nursery, turning the sage walls into the color of a new spring. youâre a survivor, jack is a father, and in just a few short weeks, the pitt would be nothing more than a place where jack went to work, while his real life, his whole life, waited for him right here, at home.
Synopsis: Years after the war, Jack Abbot rarely talks about what happened overseas. But when a med student ask about his time in the military, the story he tells isnât about battles or medalsâitâs about you. Itâs about the long nights at the edge of camp, the promises you made, the quiet moments that made the war feel far away, and the future you both believed you would have when it was all over. But war doesnât always keep its promises.
word count: 11.4k (guys what the frick... idk what happened)
Warnings: Medical inaccuracies, Military setting, military inaccuracies, mentions of blood and injury, medical setting, kissing, sexual content, mentions of war, angst, grief, mentions of survivors guilt, bittersweet ending
âWhat was it like when you were in Afghanistan?â The question came from James Ogilvie, a fourth-year med student, during a brief quiet moment before shift change.
Jack Abbott barely looked up from the computer screen he was charting on.
âDonât ask him that,â Trinity Santos said quickly, swatting Ogilvie on the shoulder.
Ogilvie frowned. âWhat? I was just curious.â
âItâs fine,â Jack said calmly, finally glancing up from the screen. âHe can ask whatever questions he wants.â
Years ago, Jack wouldnât have said that. His time in the military had once been a hypersensitive subject â something that could unravel him without warning. A single question could send him spiraling into memories he couldnât escape. Memories that came with shaking hands, cold sweats, and the kind of panic that made it hard to breathe. But that had been years ago.
Years â and countless therapy sessions â later, things were different. He had healed. Or at least, as much as someone like him ever really could.
He would never forget what he saw out there.
What he heard.
What he did.
But he had learned to live with it.
His therapist used to tell him the same thing every week: âThe only way through trauma is to stop running from it.â
So now, when someone asked what it had been like, Jack didnât shut down anymore. He talked.
Ogilvie leaned against the counter, waiting expectantly.
âSo⊠what was it like?â he asked again.
Jack leaned back slightly in his chair, exhaling through his nose as his eyes drifted away from the computer screen.Â
âIt wasâŠâ he paused, searching for the right word. âBittersweet.â
Suddenly Dennis Whitaker had started listening. He, Ogilvie, and Trinity frowned.
âBittersweet?â Trinity repeated.
Jack nodded slowly.
âThere were good moments,â he said. âGood people.â His mind flickered through memories like frames of an old film reel. âAnd there were bad moments,â he continued quietly. âBad people.â
âI donât want to pry,â Whitaker said carefully, âbut⊠what do you mean?â
Jack rested his forearms on the desk, staring at nothing for a moment.
âThere was a lot of bad out there,â he admitted. âA lot of things that still show up in my nightmares.â The room stayed quiet. âBut,â he continued, his voice softening slightly, âthere were people I metâŠâ
His mind caught on a single memory.
A face.
Your face.
âOr⊠a person I met,â he corrected. âThat made me forget about all the bad.â
They all straightened a little, clearly invested now.
âWell now you canât just say that and stop there,â Ogilvie said. âWho was it?â
Jack didnât answer right away.
Instead, his gaze drifted somewhere far beyond the hospital walls.
Back across the ocean.
Back across the years.
Back to the desert.
Back to you.
ââââââ
It had been four months.
Four months of dust that never seemed to leave your skin no matter how many showers you took. Four months of the constant hum of generators, helicopters cutting through the sky, and radios crackling with voices that always sounded just a little too urgent. Four months of blood on your hands that never quite felt like it washed away.
Four months in Afghanistan.
And for nearly all of it, Jack had been there too.
Not that the two of you had meant to get close. At the start, he had just been another medic across the small medical tentâanother pair of hands helping stitch soldiers back together before sending them back out again.
But war had a strange way of shrinking the world.
Soon enough, it was just the two of you working side by side more often than not.
âYouâre pulling that stitch too tight,â Jack had muttered one afternoon, leaning over your shoulder while you worked.
You didnât even look up. âItâs called doing it right.â
âItâs called strangling the poor guyâs skin.â
âHeâll live.â
âHeâll have a scar.â
âAdds character.â
Jack huffed out a quiet laugh behind you. âYouâre ruthless.â
âAnd youâre dramatic.â
The soldier laying on the table groaned weakly. âCan you two flirt later?â
You and Jack had looked at each other before bursting out laughing.
It had started like that.
Little moments between the chaos.
Four months of passing each other tools before the other even asked.
âScissors.â
Jack was already placing them in your hand.
âGauze.â
You slid it across the table toward him without looking.
Four months of sarcastic comments over the groans of wounded soldiers.
âYou know,â Jack said once while scrubbing his hands in the sink beside you, âmost people take a girl out to dinner before they make her spend this much time with them.â
You glanced over, unimpressed. âMost people arenât elbow-deep in someoneâs leg wound when they meet.â
He grinned. âRomantic, though.â
âOh extremely.â
Four months of late nights when the tent finally quieted down.
Youâd sit across from each other at the metal table, both too tired to speak, sharing a stale granola bar like it was the best meal youâd ever had.
Jack would lean back in his chair.
âRemind me again why we did this?â
âTo help people,â youâd say.
âRight,â heâd sigh. âThat.â
But sometimes it was quieter than that.
Sometimes it was just the two of you cleaning instruments in comfortable silence.
Sometimes it was Jack nudging your shoulder when you looked like you were about to fall asleep standing up.
âHey,â heâd murmur.
âWhat?â
âTry not to pass out. I donât want to do your job too.â
âYou couldnât do my job.â
âPlease,â he scoffed. âIâd be amazing.â
âYou fainted during training.â
âThat was once.â
âIt was twice.â
Four months of meaningless flirting.
Or at least thatâs what you insisted on calling it. Because putting a different name to it would mean acknowledging something neither of you had dared to say out loud.
War had a way of blurring lines.
Of making people cling to whatever light they could find in the darkness.
And somewhere along the way, Jack had become yours.
ââââââ
The day had been relentless.
The reminiscence of blood stuck under your nails. Grains of sand in your mouth. The metallic smell of it all still clinging to the back of your throat no matter how much water you drank.
So you walked.
Walked past the hum of generators. Past the low murmur of exhausted soldiers. Past the sharp scent of diesel and sweat and too many bodies packed into too little of a space.
You didnât stop walking until the base sounds dulled into a distant blur.
There, at the edge of camp, the land opened toward dark silhouettes of the mountains carved against a sky drenched in stars.Â
The scenery was endless; the land unbothered by war.
You lowered yourself onto the cool sand and lay flat on your back, staring up at the sky. The wind moved softly over your skin, a quiet whisper replacing the dayâs chaos. For a moment, there were no radios crackling. No shouted coordinates. No screams.
It was just silence and the sky.
You were so focused on slowing your breathing that you didnât hear the footsteps approaching.
âYou okay?â A low voice cut gently through the quiet. You opened your eyes to find none other than Jack Abbot standing over you, his shadow haloed by starlight.Â
âIâm fine.â
His brows furrowed. âYou donât look fine.â
A tired huff escaped you. âWow. Thanks.â You shut your eyes again. âDo you insult every woman you talk to, Abbot?â
âI didnât mean it like that,â he said quickly.
You opened one eye, narrowing it at him.
âI just meant you look stressed.â
âIâll be fine,â you murmured. âI just needed some silence.â
You hoped your answer would be enough to send him away.
But of course it wasnât.
You could feel him still standing there â awkward, lingering, unsure what to do with himself.
You sighed. âAre you just going to stand there watching me, or are you going to join me?â
He blinked. âIâI can goââ
âShut up and sit.â
You pushed yourself up just enough to grab his wrist and tug. He stumbled slightly before dropping into the sand beside you, stiff as a board.
For a second, he just sat there â knees bent, back straight, hands hovering like he didnât know where to put them.
You laughed softly. âLay down and relax. You look like youâre waiting for inspection.â
After a hesitant pause, he laid back beside you â slowly, like the ground might swallow him whole.
Eventually, his hands settled in his lap, his shoulders dropped by degrees, and his breathing evened out. He hadnât felt like this in monthsâlike there wasnât immediate danger coming straight for him. You could feel it too, that subtle shift in the air around you.
âYou do this a lot?â he asked quietly.
âYeah.â Your eyes stayed on the sky. âIt gets loud on base. In here,â You tapped your temple lightly. âThe stars help.â
âWhy?â
You swallowed. âMy sister loved them.â
âAre you two close?â he asked.
âWe were,â you said, voice thinning like fragile glass. âShe passed away a few years ago.â
âIâm sorry,â he said immediately, going still beside you. âI didnât mean toââ
âItâs fine.â
The wind moved through the trees, filling the space neither of you did. Your hand curled loosely into the sand.
You cleared your throat gently, trying to ease the tension. âDo you want to know something cool?â
There was the faintest line of a smile on his face when he replied, âTell me something cool.â
âWeâre looking at the past right now. The light from those stars? It takes thousands of years to reach Earth. So technically⊠weâre seeing them as they were thousands of years ago.â
He was quiet for a moment, processing the information.
âSo weâre time travelers,â he murmured.
A soft laugh slipped out of you. âYeah. I guess we are.â You pointed upward. âSome of the stars weâre looking at are already dead. Their light just hasnât stopped traveling yet.â
He studied the sky differently after that.Â
âI see grief the same way,â you said softly. âTheyâre gone⊠but theyâre light is still here. Still reaching you.â
His breath caught â almost imperceptible.
âThatâs⊠a good way to see it,â he said. âNot everyone can.â
You turned your head. He was staring at the sky, profile sharp in the silver light. There was something softer about him out here; less guarded.
He must have felt you looking, because he turned too.
And suddenly, you were close.Â
Very close.
Your shoulders were brushing, your breath mixing. His dark eyes staring directly into yours.Â
âIs that why you joined?â he asked quietly. âBecause of her?â
âNo.â You held his gaze. âAfter she was gone, I didnât have anything left. Both of my parents died when I was twelve, and sheâd been taking care of me ever since. When she died, I had nothingâno money, no house, barely enough to afford food.â
âShit,â Jack whispered under his breath. âIâm sorry.â
âDonât be sorry,â you said. âThe military gives me a paycheck, a bed, and three meals a day.â
âIt also gives you PTSD and a lifetime subscription to insomnia.â
You exhaled slowly. âThatâs better than struggling to survive.â
A muscle in his jaw ticked. âCanât argue with that.â
His hands shifted from his lap, falling to his sides. His fingers brushed yours, neither of you pulling away from the contact.
There was a pause â fragile and electric.
Then his hand turned, tentative, like he was testing if youâre comfortable.
You lace your fingers with his.
And for a moment, the war and the danger felt miles away. It was as though you two were the only people on Earth, wrapped in silence and each other.
The sound of heavy footsteps pounded across the sand.
âHey! Chef wants you both back. Itâs lights out!â
The spell around you had shattered.
You pulled apart too quickly, sitting up as if you hadnât just crossed a line neither of you had acknowledged before.
But the warmth lingered in your palm.
ââââââ
The mission wasnât supposed to feel like that.
It had been briefed as a sweep-and-clear â low resistance expected, quick in and out. The kind of operation you could almost trick yourself into believing would end quietly.
But from the moment you stepped into the village, something felt wrong.
Too still.
No children running through the streets. No doors cracked open. No stray dogs picking through refuse.
Just heat. And silence.
The first explosion split the world open.
The blast knocked you sideways, ears ringing so violently you tasted copper. Dust swallowed the street in an instant, thick and blinding. Then came the gunfire â sharp, frantic, bouncing off stone walls and turning the narrow road into a cage.
Training took over.
You were moving before your thoughts caught up â dropping beside a private with a shredded forearm, tying off a tourniquet with hands that refused to shake.
Across the street, Jack had already gone down hard behind a crumbling wall.
âJack!â someone shouted, strained and panicked.
You looked up just long enough to see Davis collapse. Corporal Davis had been Jackâs shadow since heâd started in the military. Same deployment. Same rotations. Same inside jokes murmured over bad coffee before dawn.
The shrapnel caught him high â too high.
Jack was at his side instantly, dragging him behind cover with a strength that looked almost feral. You reached them seconds later.
Thereâs a particular look people get when they know something is wrong in a way that canât be undone. And Davis had that look. But Jack didnât. Jack wore denial like armor, his focus rigid and unyielding.
âEntry wound here,â he said, voice clipped but steady. âPossible internal bleeding.â
You pressed down and felt warmth flood your gloves.
âStay with me, Davis,â Jack commanded, like he could force him to obey.
Davisâs hand grabbed blindly â and found Jackâs vest.
âDonât let meââ Davis choked, blood at the corner of his mouth. âIâIâm not ready to go.â
âYouâre not going anywhere,â Jack said.Â
But when his eyes flicked to you for half a second, you saw it.
The crack.
The realization.
You worked in brutal tandem â gauze, clamps, pressure, reassess. Gunfire roared around you like a storm you were somehow kneeling calmly inside.
At one point, your hands stalled for half a heartbeat. The bleeding wouldnât slow.
You looked at Jack and he was already looking at you.
âClamp,â you said sharply.
He moved instantly.
Minutes blurred as you awaited a medevac. Smoke filled the street, making it harder to work and breathe. The helicopterâs roar swallowed everything.
When they lifted Davis onto the stretcher, he was unconscious â but breathing.
Jack stood there long after the helicopter disappeared into the horizon.
He didnât speak the entire ride back to base.Â
By the time you returned to base, the sky was painted in bruised oranges and deepening violet â too beautiful for the kind of day youâd had.
The troop dispersed quietly. No laughter. No retelling of the fight.
You scanned the line automatically. There was no sign of Jack. Knowing what heâd seen today, hiding was the only thing heâd know how to do
You tried the command tent first.
âHave you seen Abbot?â you asked, only to be met with the shake of heads.
You checked near the medical unit â maybe heâd lingered for news.
Nothing.
By the time you circled past the barracks, the sky had darkened to deep violet. The base lights flickered one by one.
You stopped walking.
Maybe he wanted to be alone.
Maybe you should let him.
You turned toward your bunk.
And then something in your chest pulled. A quiet instinct â a memory.
The edge of base. You didnât think about it again â just walked.
Past the generators. Past the hum of low conversation. Past the perimeter lights.
And there he was. Sitting quietly in the sand, elbows on his knees. His head bowed slightly like the weight of it all had finally pressed down.
For a moment, you just watched him in the same place heâd once found you unraveling.
You stepped closer, boots soft in the sand.
âHey.âÂ
He didnât look up as he said, âYou shouldnât be out here.â
âYou didnât answer my question.â
There was a pause as he swallowed the lump in his throat.
âIâm fine.â
You moved around him and lowered yourself into the sand directly in front of him, close enough that your knees almost brushed.
âYouâre a terrible liar.â
His jaw flexed. âDrop it.â
âNo.â
That made him look up â irritation flashing in his eyes.
âI said Iâm fine.â
âAnd I know youâre not.â
Silence stretched tight between you. His gaze fell back to the ground.
You softened your voice. âJack.â
âDonât.â His voice was rough now, thinner than before. âI donât needââ
âYou were scared.â
His shoulders stiffened. âNo.â
âYes,â you said softly. âI saw the look in your eyes.â
His breath left him in a sharp exhale. âHe called for me,â Jack said quietly. âNot for a medic. Not for anyone else. Me.â His hands curled into fists between his knees. âAnd for a second⊠I thought he was dying in front of me.â
You shifted closer. âLook at me.â
He shook his head.
âJack.â
âI canât.â His voice cracked on the last word.
You reached forward gently and slid your fingers under his chin. He resisted â jaw tight, eyes fixed stubbornly on the sand. You applied just enough pressure to guide his face up.
âLook at me,â you repeated softly.
Slowly, reluctantly, his glassy eyes met yours.
âI hesitated,â he admitted, barely audible. âWhen I saw where he was hit. I knew what it meant. And I saw it â I saw myself writing to his mom. I saw telling his brother he didnât make it.â His throat worked hard. âIâm supposed to be better than that.â
âYouâre human.â
âIâm his medic.â
âAnd you saved him.â
âWe donât know that.â
âYou gave him a fighting chance.â
His composure splintered then. His breathing faltered first. Then his face crumpled in a way that looked almost boyish â stripped of rank and responsibility.
Then the tears came silently.
Youâd never seen him cry. Youâve been through worse battles, lost more people â and yet, this is the first time youâve ever seen him break.Â
He turned his face slightly, ashamed.
You didnât let him pull away. You shifted forward and wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into you.
For a second he stayed stiff.
Then he broke against you. His forehead pressed into your shoulder. His hands fisted into the fabric at your back like he was holding on to something solid in a world that kept shaking.
âIt sticks,â he whispered hoarsely. âAll of it sticks.â
âI know.â You held him tighter.
In the creeping darkness, you held him. You held him until the sun vanished and he had no tears left to cry and his breathing steadied. He pulled back slightly, but not far, his hands staying at your waist.
âDo you still believe that?â he asked quietly, eyes flicking upward. âAbout the stars?â
âYes.â
âThat even if they die⊠their light keeps traveling?â
âYes.â
His gaze returned to you. âI donât want to be the reason someoneâs light goes out.â
âYouâre not,â you said firmly. âYouâre the reason it keeps reaching us.â
He searched your face like he was looking for permission to believe that. His hand slid slowly from your waist to your jaw, thumb brushing over your cheekbone.
âIf I do this,â he whispered, âitâs not just because today was hard.â
âJackâŠâ
His eyes dropped to your mouth.
Your breath caught.
He leaned in slowly. Your lips were barely a breath apartâ
âAbbot!â
The voice carried across the sand.
Jack froze.
You both pulled back, reality crashing in too fast.
âYeah!â he called, voice steadier than it had any right to be.
His forehead rested against yours for a brief, fragile moment before he stood. When he helped you up, his hand lingered, reluctant to let go.Â
Above you, the stars burned quietly, still reaching through the endless dark.
ââââââ
A month is a long time out here.
Long enough for bruises to fade.
Long enough for routines to settle back in.
Long enough for certain moments to be forgotten.
But there were some moments you could never forget.Â
Davis was proof of that.
Heâd been back on base for a week now. Heâd been restricted to light movement. He grumbled and complained about it â but he was alive and annoyingly optimistic about the scar that curved along his abdomen.
Jack had hovered at first. You noticed when he double-checked Davisâs vitals even after youâd signed off on them. You noticed how heâd stand in the doorway of the recovery tent for half a second longer than necessary before walking away.
But somewhere between the days, he gradually stopped hovering.Â
He relaxed. Not entirely â Jack Abbot didnât really know how to be entirely relaxed â but enough that the tightness around his mouth softened and a quiet laugh slipped out of him, easy and unguarded in a way you hadnât seen before.
And for a moment, watching him like that, it was impossible not to think about how close the two of you had come that night.
Neither of you had ever mentioned it. Not how close youâd been, not the way his hand had lingered at your waist, not the charged silence that followed. Instead, the moment had simply woven itself into everything that came after â into longer glances, unnecessary proximity, and the way your hands seemed to find each other without either of you really looking.Â
Days off didnât really exist out here, but this was the closest thing to one. No missions, no sudden briefings â just routine maintenance and inventory.
By late afternoon, the medical tent was warm with filtered sunlight and the faint scent of antiseptic and canvas.
You were reorganizing supply shelves when you realized someone had moved the trauma dressings again.
âWhy,â you called without turning, âdo you keep putting these on the top shelf?â
From behind you, Jackâs voice drifted lazily. âBecause thatâs where they go.â
âThey go where I can reach them.â
âYou can reach them.â
You rose onto your toes again, stretching your arm up. âNo. I canât.â
Silence lingered for a moment before footsteps approached through the sand.
âYouâre being dramatic,â he said mildly.
âNo Iâm not.â
âYouâre standing on your toes.â
âThatâs called determination.â
âThatâs called being stubborn.â Jack shook his head, pushing himself upright. âLet me help you.â
His chest brushed your back as he reached up easily over your head, one arm braced beside yours against the wood. His body aligned with yours like it was the most natural thing in the world.
You turned just as Jack reached up, grabbing the box youâd been struggling with for the past minute. He set it down on the counter beside you, but he didnât move away afterward. Instead, he stayed right where he was, and suddenly the space around you felt tiny.
You could see the faint smudge of dust along his jaw, the loose strands of hair that had escaped whatever attempt heâd made to tame it earlier. His shirt sleeve brushed lightly against your arm when he shifted his weight.
âSee?â he said quietly. âDramatic.â
Your eyebrows lifted. âI had it handled.â
âSure you did.â His voice was low, amused in that easy way heâd slipped into around you lately.
You crossed your arms, mostly so you wouldnât do something stupid.
âYou couldâve just asked,â he added.
âAnd miss the opportunity for you to feel useful?â
The corner of his mouth curved. âIâll take it anyway.â He finally stepped back, moving towards the box on the table like nothing had happened.
You exhaled slowly, deciding to busy yourself with labeling a crate you absolutely did not need to label.
Jack watched for a moment. âYouâve been reorganizing things a lot,â he said.
âMaybe itâs because youâve been moving them around.â
âMaybe I like watching you fix them.â
You glanced up at him.
âThatâs a weird thing to admit.â
He shrugged. âJust being honest.â
By nightfall, someone had started a fire near the center of camp.
It wasnât planned. It just⊠happened. A pile of scrap wood. A spark. Then soldiers drifted toward the warmth like it was instinct.
You found yourself sitting beside Jack on an overturned crate, sweatpants soft against your legs, the firelight flickering gold across his face.
The air felt different tonight.
Someone told a wildly exaggerated story about basic training. Someone else butchered a song on guitar. With each story and song, laughter echoed across camp â real and unfiltered.
You were still laughing at the story when you felt it â the unmistakable sensation of being watched. When you turned your head, Jack was already looking at you, his gaze steady in the flickering firelight.
âYouâre staring again,â you replied.
âI know.â
You turned to look at him properly.
He didnât look away.
The firelight flickered across his face, catching in his eyes as the laughter around the circle swelled at the end of someoneâs story. For a moment he just watched you, quiet and steady, like the rest of the camp had faded somewhere into the background.
Jack leaned closer, the movement slow and deliberate. You felt the warmth of him at your side before his head dipped slightly toward you, his voice dropping low as his breath brushed the shell of your ear.
âWant to get out of here?â
The words were barely louder than the crackle of the fire.
As he pulled back just enough to look at you again, he tilted his head toward the darker edge of camp, where the firelight faded into shadow.
You hesitated just long enough for a flicker of uncertainty to cross his face.
Then you pushed yourself to your feet, stretching your arms over your head like youâd simply grown tired of sitting.
Jack followed a second later, brushing sand from his hands as he stood.
The story at the fire kept going, another round of laughter breaking out.
And no one noticed the two of you leave.
The quiet in the tent felt different from the quiet at the fire. The laughter from the bonfire drifted across camp in bursts, softened by distance, while the lantern inside the medical area cast a warm circle of light across the tables.
Jack leaned back against one of them, arms loosely folded.
âYou dragged me all the way out here just to stand around?â you asked.
A corner of his mouth lifted. âYou came with me.â
âYou asked.â
âDidnât hear you complaining.â
You huffed softly under your breath, glancing away for a second before looking back at him. Jack's heavy gaze was still on you.
âYouâre staring,â you said.
âMaybe,â he said, tilting his head a little and shrugging his shoulders.
You shook your head. âYouâre impossible.â
âYeah, but you like it.â
That pulled a quiet laugh out of you. Your gaze flickered down, needing a break from the intense eye contact.
When you looked back up, heâd moved a little closer â your stomach flipped at the proximity.
âWhat?â you asked.
âNothing.â He shrugged slightly, but his eyes stayed on yours. The air between you shifted â subtle, but unmistakable. Jack glanced down for a second, then back up. âAre you ever going to mention it?â he asked.
Your brows pulled together. âMention what?â
He watched you for a moment, like he was deciding if you were serious.Â
âThe night by the mountains.â
Your heart skipped.Â
âOh.â The word came out quieter than you meant it to.
You looked down briefly, tracing a small scratch in the table with your thumb before glancing back at him.
âIt was a long day,â you said. âDavis almost died. We were both running on adrenaline.â
âYeah,â Jack said.
âAnd sometimes things feel⊠bigger in moments like that.â
He didnât answer right away. âYou think thatâs what it was?â he asked.
âI think it makes sense. Our actions were just something⊠temporary.â
He closed the distance fully now, stopping just in front of you. âIt didnât feel temporary to me,â he said quietly.
Your pulse hammered.
âIt felt like something Iâve been wanting to do for weeks.â
Your breath caught. âDo what?â
âKissing you.â
The words settled between you, heavy and deliberate.
You swallowed. âYou sound very sure about that.â
One corner of his mouth lifted. âI am.â
You tried to roll your eyes, but the air around you felt too charged.
âYouâve been standing too close for a month,â he continued. âYou think I donât notice?â
âThat doesnât meanââ
âIt doesnât mean what?â he asked softly.
You searched for logic. For distance.
Instead, you found yourself saying, âI didnât want it to be something that just⊠disappears the next time things get hard.â
Jack was quiet for a moment.
Then he said, âIt wonât.â His hand settled lightly at your waist.Â
Your breath caught slightly. âAnd if I said it was just heightened emotion?â you asked.
His thumb brushed your side â barely.Â
âIâd say you need to stop pretending.âÂ
He leaned in slowly, giving you time to step away.
You didnât.
His lips met yours softly at first â testing, seeing if youâd pull away.
You don't. Instead, your hands make their way up his neck, tangling in his soft curls.
The kiss deepened slowly, unhurried, like you both had nowhere else to be. His mouth moved against yours with a gentle insistence, tongues sliding together in a rhythm that echoed the distant flicker of the bonfire outside.Â
The med tent's canvas walls muffled the laughter and crackle of flames from the base, but every whisper inside felt dangerously loudâthe soft hitch of your breath, the quiet rustle of your tight black undershirt against his hoodie as he pulled you closer.Â
Jack's free hand cupped the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair, holding you steady as the kiss turned hungrier, yet still restrained, like he was committing every moment to memory.
You pressed your body against his, feeling the solid warmth of his chest through the thin fabric of your undershirt and his hoodie. His hand at your waist tightened just enough to draw you flush, and a low hum escaped his throat, vibrating into your mouth. Breaking the kiss for a breath, his forehead rested against yours, eyes dark and searching in the dim light filtering through the tent flap.
"I've wanted this," he whispered, voice rough but barely audible over the faint voices outside. "You. For longer than I should admit in a place like this. Every time we patch up the wounded together, I think about pulling you aside like this."
Your heart pounded, a rush of vulnerability mixing with the heat building low in your belly. "Jack... what if someone hears? The bonfire's right there," you murmured, even as your fingers tugged at the zipper of his hoodie, peeling it open to reveal the tight shirt beneath clinging to his muscled frame.
He chuckled softly, the sound warm against your skin. "Then we'll have to be extra quiet. But I can't pretend anymore. Tell me you feel it too." His hands slid under your undershirt, palms rough from field work gliding up your sides, thumbs grazing the underside of your breasts.
"I do," you breathed, nodding as you captured his lips again, this time with more urgency. Your fingers explored the hard planes of his abdomen under his shirt, tracing the faint scars from past missions. He shivered under your touch, his own hands pushing your undershirt higher, bunching it above your chest to expose your bra.
Jack's mouth trailed from your lips to your jaw, then down the column of your throat, nipping lightly at the skin there. You bit your lip to stifle a gasp, acutely aware of the soldiers' stories carrying faintly from the bonfireâoblivious to the heat unfolding just yards away. "God, you taste like everything I've been missing," he murmured against your collarbone, his teeth scraping as he tugged your bra down, freeing one breast.
"Shh," you whispered, a half-laugh escaping as you arched into him. "You're going to get us caught." Your hands fumbled with the drawstring of his sweatpants, loosening it quickly. The fabric whispered down his hips, and you palmed his hardening cock through his boxers, feeling it twitch under your touch.
He paused, glancing toward the tent entrance, then covered your hand with his, guiding you to shove the waistband lower. "Worth the risk," he said, voice husky. His cock sprang free, hard and thick against your thigh, the velvety heat making your core clench. "Touch me like you mean it."
You wrapped your fingers around his length, stroking slowly from base to tip, pre-cum slicking your palm. He bucked into your grip, a muffled groan buried in your neck. "Fuck, yesâjust like that," he hissed, his hand dipping to the waistband of your tight black sweatpants, hooking his fingers in and yanking them down along with your panties in one swift motion. They pooled at your ankles, and you kicked them aside, the cool air hitting your bare skin.
Jack palmed your ass, lifting you slightly to perch on the edge of the exam table, the paper crinkling under your weight. He spread your thighs wide, kneeling between them, his breath hot against your inner thigh as he kissed a path upward. "You're so wet already," he whispered, eyes flicking up to meet yours. "For me?"
"Only for you," you replied, voice trembling with need as his fingers parted your folds, finding your soaked pussy. He circled your clit with feather-light strokes, making you grip his shoulders, nails digging in. "Jack, pleaseâdon't tease."
He slid one finger inside you, then two, curling them to hit that spot that made your vision blur. "Like this?" he asked, thrusting slowly, his thumb pressing your clit. You rocked against his hand, biting his shoulder to muffle the whimpers rising in your throat. The wet sounds of his fingers pumping were obscene in the hushed tent, but they drove you wild, your walls fluttering around him.
"So tight," he breathed, pulling back to watch your face, his gaze intense with emotion. "I need to fuck you. Right now. Tell me you want it."
"YesâGod, yes," you gasped, releasing his cock only long enough for him to line up.Â
In the heat of the moment, protection was forgotten, raw need taking over. He positioned the broad head at your entrance, nudging your slick folds. Slowly, he pushed in, inch by inch, stretching your pussy deliciously. You both froze at the fullness, your inner walls gripping him like a vice.
"You feel incredible," he groaned softly, starting to move with shallow thrusts, building a rhythm of controlled power. His hips snapped forward, cock dragging against your walls, hitting deep with each plunge. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, your heels digging into his back through his sweatpants. The table creaked faintly, and you both stilled, listeningânothing from outside but the ongoing chatter.
"Keep going," you urged in a whisper, meeting his eyes. "Don't stop."
Emboldened, he picked up pace, one hand bracing on the table, the other stroking your clit in time with his thrusts.Â
Sweat beaded on his brow, his curls damp and disheveled from your fingers still tangled in them. "Come for me," he murmured, voice strained. "Quietlyâlet me feel you squeeze my cock."
Pleasure built like a wave, your body tensing as he fucked you harder, the slap of skin on skin hushed but insistent.Â
You came first, orgasm crashing over you in silent intensityâyour pussy clenching around his cock, milking him as waves of bliss ripped through you. You buried your face in his neck, a choked sob escaping, but no sound loud enough to betray you.
Jack followed seconds later, thrusting deep one last time, his cock pulsing as he spilled inside you, hot and thick. "Fuckâyes," he whispered hoarsely, shuddering against you, lips pressed to your temple, holding you through the aftershocks.
You clung to each other, breaths mingling in the dim tent, the world outside fading to irrelevance. As you both came down, he didn't pull away immediately, staying buried inside you, his arms wrapping around your back under your rumpled undershirt.Â
"That..." he whispered, voice hoarse with wonder, "was everything. Promise me this isn't the last time."
You smiled against his skin, knowing this was more than just releaseâit was a promise, forged in the quiet intimacy of the night, unbreakable even in the chaos of war.Â
"It won't be," you replied softly, sealing it with a gentle kiss.
ââââââ
Youâd been deployed long enough that time had started to lose its shape.
Days blurred together into something indistinct â missions, patrols, long nights, early mornings. The desert didnât change much, and neither did the routine. Wake before the sun. Work until exhaustion sets in. Try to sleep through the heat or the noise or the quiet that came afterward.
Some days were heavy with loss. Others were strangely light â filled with laughter that felt almost out of place in a place like this. Over time it all mixed together until it became difficult to separate one memory from another.
Slowly, weeks turned into months. The war moved on around you, relentless and unyielding, but your mind struggled to keep track of the passing days. Everything started to feel like one long stretch of time.
Everything except Jack.
If the deployment had blurred everything else, Jack stood out in sharp, steady focus.
Every moment with him seemed to anchor itself clearly in your memory â late conversations after shifts ended, quiet walks along the perimeter when the camp finally settled down for the night, the warmth of his hand finding yours when no one else was looking.
Those moments stood apart from everything else.
You could remember them easily.
What had started as something fragile and uncertain had deepened quickly after that.
Neither of you had made a grand declaration. There had been no dramatic conversation about what the two of you were becoming. In a place like this, life rarely allowed for those kinds of moments. Instead, it had grown naturally.
Over the months that followed, the line between teasing and flirting had disappeared entirely. Conversations that once danced around the edges of something unspoken became easier, warmer.
You laughed together more than you ever had before.
You kissed whenever you could steal a moment alone.
Sometimes that meant slipping into the medical tent after the last patient had been treated, the lantern light low and the rest of the camp quiet.
Other nights it meant standing close beneath a sky full of stars, talking softly while the desert wind drifted across the sand.
Those quiet moments became something you both held onto.
Because the truth was, deployment had a way of wearing people down.
Some missions left everyone exhausted and silent for hours afterward.
Some days ended with grief that settled heavily over the entire camp.
And in those moments, Jack had become the one constant you could rely on.
After the hardest missions, when the adrenaline faded and the exhaustion finally caught up to everyone, you often found yourselves sitting together somewhere away from the noise of the others.
Sometimes you leaned against his shoulder.
Sometimes he rested his forehead against yours, both of you too tired to say much of anything.
You had become each otherâs refuge in a place where comfort was often hard to find.
When the world felt too heavy, Jack was the one you leaned into.
And just as often, you found him doing the same with you.
It wasnât something either of you talked about out loud.
You didnât need to.
The understanding between you had grown strong enough that words rarely felt necessary.
Six months had passed since that quiet night in the medical tent.
Six months of stolen moments, whispered jokes, shared exhaustion, and quiet affection that deepened with every passing day.
Out here, where tomorrow was never guaranteed, it had become something real.
Something steady.
Something that belonged entirely to the two of you.
ââââââ
Night settled slowly over the base. The noise never really stopped here. Engines hummed somewhere in the distance. Voices carried across the rows of tents. Metal clanged against metal as someone finished a late task.
Most nights you could tune it out.
Tonight you couldnât.
Something restless had taken hold in your chest â an uneasy weight you couldnât quite name. The noise felt too loud, too constant. Like the world refused to quiet long enough for you to think.
So you slipped away.
No one stopped you as you moved past the outer tents and toward the edge of camp, where the lights faded and the desert stretched wide and open beneath the sky. You followed a familiar path, reaching your spot.
You sank down cross-legged, resting your hands loosely in your lap as your gaze lifted toward the sky.
The desert at night had its own kind of silence. Not completely still â the wind whispered softly across the sand â but quiet enough that your thoughts could finally breathe.
Youâd been so absorbed in your own mind that you didnât hear the footsteps approaching. You only realized someone had come close when a familiar shoulder brushed lightly against yours as they sat down beside you.
âThought Iâd find you here,â Jack's low voice said, cutting gently through the distant noise of the base. âWhat are you doing out here?â
âThinking.â Your eyes were still on the sky, tracing the faint line of a constellation.
Beside you, Jack watched your face for a moment.
âAboutâŠâ he prompted softly.
You exhaled slowly. âEverything.â Only then did you glance at him. Your eyes met his briefly before drifting back toward the stars. âYou know we only have one more month here.â
Jack hummed quietly in acknowledgment.
âMhm.â
âItâs justâŠâ You reached up, tucking a few loose strands of hair back behind your ear where theyâd slipped free from your ponytail. âI keep trying to imagine what life is going to look like after this.â Your voice softened. âAnd the truth is⊠I canât.â
The silence that followed wasnât awkward â it never was with him. That was one of the first things youâd noticed about Jack â the way silence around him felt steady, like something safe to sit inside. Comfortable.
After a moment he spoke. âWhatâre you hoping to do when you get home?â he asked.
You shrugged slightly. âProbably get a job on a base back in Pittsburghââ
âNo.â
You blinked, turning toward him. Jack shook his head faintly.
âIf you could do anything,â he said, voice quieter now, âwhat would you want to do?â
You considered that for a second. âSleep in a real bed,â you said with a short breath of a laugh.
Jack tilted his head. âIâm serious.â
You sighed softly, dragging your fingers through the sand beside your knee. âMy biggest dream?â
âYeah.â
You hesitated.
Then, almost reluctantly, you said it.
âI want to go back to school.â Your voice was barely above a whisper.
You glanced at him again, the corner of your mouth lifting faintly. âIâve always wanted to be a doctor. Ever since I was a little girl,â you continued quietly, thinking back to that version of yourself â so young and carefree, not realizing just how cruel the world could be. âI used to imagine helping people. Fixing things that were broken.â You looked down at your hands. âI always figured thisââyou gestured vaguely toward the base behind youââwas the closest Iâd ever get to that.â
Jack didnât hesitate.
âYouâd be an incredible doctor.â Something in his voice made your chest tighten slightly. âYou should apply to med school when we get home.â
âMaybe,â you murmured. You swallowed, forcing a small smile. âMaybe not. Weâll see where the wind takes me.â You let out a shallow, echo of a laugh. You tipped your head back toward the sky again, blinking slowly so the faint sting in your eyes wouldnât spill over.
The stars blurred for a moment before sharpening again.
A few seconds passed before Jack spoke.
âI donât want to overstep,â he began quietly, clearing his throat. âBut⊠thereâs something Iâve been thinking about.â
You turned toward him again. âWhat?â
He hesitated for the first time that night. âWhat happens when we get back?â
Your stomach tightened slightly.
âBetween us.â
Youâd thought about it before. Months ago, in this very spot, youâd told Jack you didnât want to make anything official while you were still here. You hadnât wanted anniversaries or memories tied forever to a place filled with loss.
Heâd understood.
But that hadnât stopped the two of you from becoming something real anyway.
âIâm not sure,â you admitted softly, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. Then you met his eyes. âWhat do you want to happen?â
His answer came immediately. âI want us to be real.â The certainty in his voice made your heart stumble. âI want to take you on an actual date,â he continued. âSomewhere that doesnât smell like antiseptic and diesel.â A small smile tugged at your lips. âI want to see you in normal clothes,â he added. âNot a uniform.â You laughed quietly. âAnd,â he continued, completely serious, âIâd like to have sex with you in a real bed, not an exam table.â
Your laughter broke free completely. âOh my god, shut up.â
âItâs a valid goal,â Jack said, the corner of his mouth lifting.
You shook your head, still smiling.
But when you looked at him again, your expression softened.Â
âIâd really like that too.â Your voice was quieter now. âAll of it,â you added gently. âNot just the sex.â
Jack glanced down at you.
âYou know,â he said quietly, âweâre going to figure it out.â
âYeah?â you murmured.
âYeah.â
His hand came up, brushing lightly against your cheek before he leaned in and kissed you. It was slow and unhurried, like neither of you had anywhere else to be.Somewhere behind you the base lights flickered against the dark horizon, distant voices carrying faintly through the night.
When he pulled back, you rested your forehead against his, closing your eyes.
For the first time all day, the restless feeling in your chest eased.
But you didnât know then how quickly things could change.
ââââââ
The mission had been labeled routine.
One last patrol outside the wire before you went home. A sweep through a small village that had already been cleared more than once. Command had described it as low-risk â the kind of assignment meant to fill the final days before units rotated home.
Easy.
You had learned quickly that the word easy rarely meant what people thought it meant out here.
Still, the mood in the truck that morning had been lighter than usual.
Only seven days left. Seven days and youâd be leaving Afghanistan behind â hopefully for good.
The armored vehicle rattled along the dusty road, every bump echoing through the metal frame. The desert sun had already begun its slow climb into the sky, heat pressing against the thick gear wrapped around your body.
You sat across from Jack on the bench seat, your rifle resting lazily across your lap. He tilted his head back against the wall behind him.
âOne more week,â he said.
You huffed softly. âSeven days.â
âSeven days,â he repeated. âAnd then weâre done.â
The word done felt strange. Youâd spent nearly twelve months in this place. Twelve months of chaos, blood, exhaustion, and long sleepless nights. And somehow it was almost over.
âFinal lap,â you muttered.
Jack grinned. âFinal hoorah.â Jack nudged your boot with his. âSo,â he said casually, though you could hear the curiosity beneath it, âare you serious about med school?â
âYeah,â you answered. âI think I am.â
His eyebrows lifted. âNo kidding?â
âI'm going to start studying for the MCAT when we get home,â you said. âApply in the fall and winter.â
Jack watched you for a moment like he was picturing it. âYouâre going to make a damn good doctor.â
You snorted. âYouâre biased.â
âAbsolutely,â he admitted.
âYou donât even know if Iâd get in.â
âYou will.â
âAnd how do you know that?â
He shrugged slightly. âBecause youâre the smartest medic out here.â
âThatâs a lie.â
âNo itâs not.â
âYou just like me.â
A slow grin spread across his face. âWell⊠yeah.â
You rolled your eyes, but the warmth that crept into your chest was impossible to ignore.
Outside, the convoy slowed as it approached the outskirts of the village. Engines rumbled to a stop. The back doors opened and the soldiers began filing out into the dusty road, boots crunching against gravel.
The village looked quiet. Too quiet. A few children watched from doorways. A dog barked somewhere behind one of the mudbrick houses.
Your patrol moved through the streets in practiced formation, scanning rooftops and alleyways. Just another patrol.
Then the first gunshot split the air. The crack echoed through the village like lightning.
For half a second, everything froze.
Then chaos erupted.
âCONTACT LEFT!â
Gunfire exploded from the rooftops. Bullets snapped through the air, striking the walls around you and sending bursts of dust flying.
âTaliban fighters!â someone shouted.
They appeared everywhere at once â figures emerging from windows, rooftops, and narrow alleyways, rifles flashing in the sunlight. Your patrol returned fire immediately.
The air filled with the deafening rhythm of gunshots. Dust and smoke churned through the street as soldiers scrambled for cover.
âMEDIC!â The sharp shout cut through the chaos.
You and Jack moved at the same time. Training took over before fear had a chance to settle in.
Two soldiers were down behind a crumbling wall. One clutched his arm tightly while the other struggled to keep pressure on a bleeding gash along his thigh. You slid to your knees beside the second soldier.
âHey, heyâlook at me,â you said quickly, already pulling gauze from your kit. âYouâre going to be fine.â
Across from you, Jack crouched beside the other wounded man.
âLet me see it,â he muttered, gently pulling the soldierâs arm away from his chest.
Blood soaked the sleeve of his uniform. Jack examined the wound quickly.
âThrough-and-through,â he said. âYou got lucky.â
Meanwhile your hands moved fast, wrapping pressure bandages around the soldierâs leg. Gunfire still cracked overhead, but it was beginning to thin out. Your patrol was pushing the enemy fighters back.
Within minutes the Taliban began retreating deeper into the village.
The chaos slowly faded. One by one, the wounded were lifted and carried toward the trucks.
You stood slowly, wiping blood from your hands onto your pants. Across the clearing, Jack finished helping lift his patient into the vehicle.Â
He glanced up at you. âYou good?â he called.
âYeah,â you replied, stretching your back. âAll patched up here.â
Relief began spreading through the patrol. The worst was over. Enemy fighters were disappearing down the distant alleyways. Everyone started to breathe again. Thenâ
Two gunshots rang out.
Sharp.
Close.
For a moment you didnât understand what had happened. Then heat exploded through your abdomen. Your breath left your lungs in a sudden gasp and you looked down.
Two dark holes had torn through the fabric of your uniform just beneath the edge of your protective vest. Blood spread rapidly across the cloth.
Your hands dropped to your stomach instinctively. They came away soaked in warm blood.
Across the clearing, Jack looked up. His eyes locked onto you. For a moment he simply stared.
Your body swayed.
Your knees buckled.
âHeyâ!â
Jack was already running before you collapsed.
âNo, no, noââ He dropped beside you, sliding onto his knees in the dust. His hands pressed immediately against your abdomen. Blood soaked his gloves within seconds.
âIt-it hurts, Jack,â you gasped, tears streaming down your face.
âI know,â he said quickly, his voice already shaking. âI know, Iâve got you.â
His hands moved fast, ripping open the fabric around the wounds.
Two entry holes close together. His stomach dropped at the sight. He rolled you slightly, checking your back, but saw nothing â no exit wounds.
The bullets were still inside you.
Jackâs heart slammed against his ribs. âShit.â He slammed his hand back down over the wounds, applying brutal pressure. âWE NEED A MEDEVAC RIGHT NOW!â he roared, his voice cut through the entire patrol. âDOUBLE GSW TO THE ABDOMEN â NO EXIT WOUNDS!â
Someone grabbed the radio.
Jack barely heard them. All he could see was the blood soaking through the gauze faster than he could replace it.
Your breathing had turned shallow. Your fingers curled weakly into the front of his vest.
âIt hurts,â you whispered.
âI know,â he murmured, voice trembling. âJust keep looking at me.â
Your vision had started to blur. Darkness crept in from the edges.
âHey,â he said quickly, trying to keep you focused. âRemember our plan?â
Your brow furrowed faintly. âOur⊠Plan?â
âWhen we get back to Pittsburgh,â he said. âYou remember?â
You nodded weakly. âYouâre taking me on a date.â
Jack swallowed hard, pressing harder against the wound. âYeah. You need to hold on so we can go on our date.â
Your trembling hand lifted slowly, grabbing his, your warm blood coated his fingers.
âJackâŠâ
âNo,â he said immediately, shaking his head. âDonât start that.â
Your voice was barely a whisper. âNo matter what happens to me⊠I love you.â
Jackâs face broke. âNo,â he whispered. Then louder. âNoâNO.â Tears ran freely down his face now. âYou donât get to do this,â he choked. âYou are not dying today.â
You reached up weakly, your hand brushing his jaw.Â
âRemember the stars. If you miss meâŠâ It took so much of your energy to speak. âLook at the stars.â
Jack leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours.
âI love you,â he whispered. âBut youâre not joining the stars today.â
Then the thunder of helicopter blades roared overhead.
The MEDEVAC had arrived.
ââââââ
The funeral took place beneath a pale gray sky.
The kind of sky that felt too quiet for a day like this.
Jack stood near the front of the small gathering, his hands folded tightly in front of him, shoulders stiff beneath the dark jacket heâd borrowed for the service. The wind stirred lightly through the rows of chairs set up in the cemetery, carrying with it the faint rustle of leaves and the soft murmur of people speaking in low voices.
Nine days.
Nine days since he had watched the doors of the operating room close. Nine days since a surgeon had walked into the waiting room with that careful, rehearsed expression Jack had seen far too many times before. Nine days since the world he thought he was coming home to disappeared.
He had been back in the United States for a week now.
A week that had felt like drifting through someone elseâs life.
Jack barely remembered the flight home. Barely remembered unpacking his bags. Barely remembered the long sleepless nights staring at the ceiling of his apartment.
Everything felt hollow. Like someone had carved out the center of his chest and left only the shell behind.
This wasnât how it was supposed to be.
He had imagined coming home with you a hundred different ways during those long nights in Afghanistan.
You both had.
Sleeping in real beds. Eating real food. Youâd be studying for the MCAT while he complained about something inconsequential. Late night drives. Movies. Maybe, someday, a tiny house somewhere quiet.
All those plans had died on a battlefield thousands of miles away.
The small group gathered around the gravesite was quiet.
A few soldiers from your unit stood together in their dress uniforms, faces solemn, eyes fixed on the ground. A handful of civilians lingered nearbyâfriends who had known you long before the military ever entered your life.
Jack recognized none of them. But they recognized him. Because apparently, theyâd been hearing about him long before anything happened between you two.
Jack stared at your name etched into the simple stone marker at the front of the gathering.
Seeing it there made his chest tighten.
You had always felt so alive â too alive to be reduced to a few carved words.
Jackâs eyes burned, but he didnât try to stop the tears anymore. He had stopped trying days ago.
Someone stepped beside him. A woman with auburn hair and tired eyes.
âJack?â she asked softly.
He turned slightly. âYes?â
âIâm Amy,â she said gently. âShe and I were friends back in Pittsburgh.â
Recognition flickered faintly: you had mentioned her once.
âShe talked about you constantly,â Amy continued, a sad smile touching her lips. âIn letters. Emails. Phone calls when she could get them.â
Jack swallowed hard. âShe did?â
âOh yeah,â Amy said quietly. âYou were kind of a big deal.â
Another tear slipped down his cheek.
Amy reached into her purse and carefully pulled something out. âI wanted you to have this.â
She placed a small necklace in his palm. Jack stared down at it. A delicate gold chain with a small star-shaped pendant hanging from the center.
âShe left it with me before she deployed,â she explained. âSaid she was too afraid of losing it out there.â
Jack turned the pendant gently between his fingers, the metal felt cool against his skin.
âShe wore it all the time before the military,â Amy said. âSaid it reminded her of home.â
Jack closed his hand around the necklace, his chest tightening as another wave of grief rolled through him.
âThank you,â he whispered.
Amy squeezed his arm gently before stepping away.
Other people approached him throughout the service. Some of which being your friends who told stories about you growing up. Others spoke quietly about the letters you had written while deployed. Several of them said the same thing: âShe talked about you a lot.â
Every time Jack heard it, the words hit him like a punch to the ribs. Because he had no idea. He knew you loved him, but he hadnât realized how deeply that love had woven itself into the rest of your life.
After the burial, the small crowd slowly began to disperse, Jack lingered a little longer. He wasnât able to leave you yet.Â
The cemetery had grown quiet now. Only the wind and distant traffic filled the air, stirring the fresh mound of earth where you now rested.
A few days prior, a lawyer had found him.
Jack hadnât even known you had written a will. Apparently you had updated it two months before the mission. He found out when the lawyer had sat across from him with a folder in his hands.
âShe named you as her primary beneficiary,â he had explained.
Jack blinked in confusion. âShe⊠what?â
âShe had no immediate family,â the lawyer continued gently. âAccording to her, you were the closest person to her.â
Before leaving, the lawyer had handed him a sealed envelope. âShe asked that you receive this.â
Jack had stared at your handwriting on the front.
And when he opened it later that night, everything inside him had broken.
Jack,
If youâre reading this, then something went wrong.
I guess thatâs the strange thing about writing a letter like this â you hope with every part of yourself that the person youâre writing to will never have to read it. But the military makes you think about things like this, about the what ifs, about the things youâd regret never saying.
So here I am, trying to find the right words.
First, Iâm sorry.
Because if this letter reached you, it means I didnât make it home. And that means I left you behind. I wish I could tell you that I fought harder. That I held on longer. Maybe I did. Maybe I didnât. I guess weâll never really know.
But what I do know is this: meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Out of all the chaos, the fear, and the darkness that came with being out there, you were the one thing that made it all feel worth it. You made those long nights lighter. You made the bad days survivable. You made me laugh in places where laughter felt impossible.
And those nights under the stars?
Those will always be my favorite memories.
Just sitting there beside you, listening to the generators humming behind us and the wind moving across the sand. Talking about everything and nothing at the same time. For a little while, it felt like the war disappeared and it was just us.
I hope you still go out and look at the stars sometimes. Not because I want you to be sad when you see them â the opposite, actually. I hope when you look up, you remember those moments and smile. I hope you remember how alive we both felt sitting out there.
I hope you remember that you were loved. Because you were, Jack. You still are.
And thereâs something else I need you to promise me.
Just because Iâm gone, donât stop chasing your dreams. Donât let my ending become the thing that stops your story. You deserve a full life. You deserve happiness. You deserve the future we used to talk about.
Finish what you started. Help people. Make the world a little better than it was when you found it. And someday, when youâre older and life has taken you places we never imagined, I hope you look up at the night sky and think about that stupid little spot outside the base where we used to sit.
Maybe youâll even tell someone about it.
About the stars.
About the girl who loved you.
Because I did, Jack. I loved you more than I ever managed to say out loud.
Thank you for giving me something beautiful in the middle of a war.
And wherever you go from here⊠Iâll be rooting for you.
Always.
He had read the letter nearly forty times since then. And every single time, he cried.
Jack slipped the necklace carefully into his pocket now, his fingers lingering against it for a moment before he turned and began walking away from the gravesite.
The drive back to his apartment was quiet. The city moved around him like normal â people walked on sidewalks, cars passed at intersections. Life continued.
It felt wrong.
By the time he reached his apartment, the sun had begun to dip toward the horizon.
Jack stepped inside and closed the door behind him. Silence filled the small space. He moved slowly through the living room before kneeling beside the duffel bag he had brought home.
He hadnât touched most of it yet. The zipper rasped softly as he opened it.
Inside were pieces of a life that felt like it belonged to someone else now. Uniforms. A dusty pair of boots. A folded scarf someone had traded him in a market. At the very bottom of the bag sat a small envelope.
Jack picked it up slowly. His hands trembled slightly as he opened it.
A Polaroid slid out into his palm.
It had been taken on one of your rare nights off. The two of you sat side by side on the edge of the base, mountains rising dark in the background while the sky above you stretched wide with stars.
You were smiling in the picture. Your head leaned lightly against his shoulder. Jack looked younger in it.
Happier.
He pressed the photograph against his chest. Then he pulled the necklace from his pocket, curling his fingers around it as well. The cool metal rested against his heart.
Jack sank slowly onto the floor beside the open bag. And for the first time since the funeral began that morning, the sobs came without restraint.
He clutched the photograph and the necklace tightly to his chest as tears streamed down his face.
ââââââ
The room had gone quiet.
Jack sat back in his chair, hands loosely folded together, his eyes resting somewhere far beyond the hospital walls.
For a long moment, none of them spoke.
The noise of Whitaker sniffling caused Jack to blink and look up.
Dennis Whitaker had both hands half covering his mouth, his eyes bloodshot as tears uncontrollably streamed down his face. Across the counter, Trinity Santos had her arms crossed tightly over her chest, but a few tears had slipped down her cheeks anyway. Even Ogilvie was staring down at the floor, jaw tight, blinking a little too much.
âOh my god,â Trinity said quietly. âThatâs⊠thatâs so sad.â
Jack huffed softly through his nose. âYeah,â he said.
Whitaker dragged the backs of his hands across his eyes, sniffling again. âShe wanted to go to med school,â he murmured, half to himself. âShe wanted to be a doctor.â
Jack nodded once. âYeah.â
Whitaker stared down at the floor for a moment, his brain clearly still turning through the story Jack had just told.
Then his brow slowly furrowed. A realization began creeping across his face.
He looked back up at Jack. âWait.â
Jack raised an eyebrow slightly.
Whitaker pointed weakly at him.
âYouâŠâ he said slowly, voice cracking a little, âyou went to med school.â
Jack didnât say anything. Whitakerâs eyes widened.
âOh my god,â he whispered. He sucked in a shaky breath that turned into a hiccup. âYou did that for her.â
Jack looked down at his hands again.Â
After a moment, he nodded.
âYeah,â he said quietly.
Whitaker completely lost the battle against his tears at that point. He pressed his hands against his eyes again, shoulders shaking slightly.
âThat somehow makes it worse,â he choked.
Ogilvie shook his head slowly beside him. âYouâre unbelievable,â he muttered, though his voice was softer than usual.
Trinity wiped her eyes with a tissue. âThatâs⊠really beautiful, Jack,â she said quietly.
Jack gave a small shrug. âShe was supposed to be the doctor,â he said. âThat was her dream, but she didnât get the chance.â His eyes drifted toward the window beside them. âFigured Iâd do it for her.â
No one had anything to say to that.
For years he hadnât talked about this story. Not really. Pieces of it had slipped out here and there, but never the whole thing.
His therapist had encouraged him to share it more.
âYouâre not reliving it,â she had said. âYouâre honoring it. Honoring her.â
Jack wasnât sure if that was entirely true, but telling it didnât hurt the way it used to. Now it just left a quiet ache behind.
He pushed himself up from the chair. âIâm gonna grab some air,â he said.
Whitaker nodded quickly, still wiping his eyes.
Jack stepped out into the hallway and walked toward the stairwell at the end.
A few minutes later he pushed open the heavy door to the hospital roof, cool night air greeting him immediately.
The city stretched out below in scattered lights and distant traffic, but Jack barely noticed any of it.
His gaze lifted automatically toward the sky.
It was clear tonight.
Hundreds of stars scattered across the darkness.
His therapist had once pointed something out to him: âYou seem to find comfort in the dark,â she had said.
At first he didn't understand what she meant.
But later he realized she was right.
Because the darkness reminded him of the quiet nights in Afghanistan. The nights when the generators hummed softly behind them and the war seemed to pause for a little while. The nights when you both sat at the edge of the base staring up at the sky. That was when you talked the most. When the world felt far away.
When it was just the two of you beneath the stars.
Jack slipped a hand beneath the collar of his shirt and pulled the necklace free. The small star pendant caught the faint glow of the rooftop light.
He curled his fingers around it and lifted his gaze back toward the sky.
âYou know,â he said quietly into the night, âWhitaker cried.â A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. âYouâd like him.â
He rubbed his thumb across the small star pendant before looking up at the stars again.
âI can still see your light.â
Jack stood there for a long time after that, staring up at the sky.
And somehow, in the quiet darkness, he didnât feel quite so alone.
a/n: Sorry this was meant to be posted like a week ago, but I got carried away with writing, and I was also super busy with class. I also like didn't proofread this... Anyway, Hope you enjoy :)
Ok the US Attorney General says that she will remove ICE if MN drops all our sanctuary laws, complies with ICE, hands over all our SNAP, Medicaid and voter rolls. They demand control over our voter registration so they can "ensure free and fair elections".
They want to control our elections.
I am dead serious people call your representatives. Get volunteering. Get protesting. Get LOUD.
They released a letter full of straight up lies. Spread the truth. MAKE NOISE.
NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.
You didn't think that Nanami reading physics books while you were pregnant would do anything. But two years and a half later, you have a too-smart-for-her-age toddler...
It's night and the house is quiet, lit only by a warm lamp on the nightstand. You're lying on your side, your belly already round and firm, while Rei gives those soft little taps that always seem to greet you when he's near.
Nanami sits on the edge of the bed with a thick bookâtoo thick for a baby who hasn't even been born yetâand adjusts his glasses with that precious, routine gesture. The cover reads: "Fundamental Concepts of Physics."
"Kento⊠are you seriously going to read that to her?" you ask, laughing.
"There's no minimum age for developing logical thinking," he replies very seriously⊠but when he looks at you, his eyes soften.
He opens the book to a chapter marked with a gold bookmark.
He places his large hand on your belly, warm, firm, protective.
Rei stirs.
As if she recognizes your voices.
Nanami lowers his head slightly, bringing his lips close to your belly, and begins:
"Newton established three fundamental laws that describe motion..."
He says it in a soft, almost musical tone, as if each formula were a caress. His deep voice vibrates against your skin, and for a moment you feel like the entire universe fits in that tiny room.
He pauses to trace a slow circle over your belly.
"Rei, if you push something... that something pushes you back. So..." he smiles slightly, "...please don't push your mother too hard."
You laugh, and Nanami looks at you immediately, as if making sure you're comfortable, that Rei didn't kick you too hard.
He continues reading, calmly explaining concepts that no baby would understand, but that he still wants to share:
"F = m·a. Force equals mass times acceleration. And yours, little one... is surprising for someone the size of my hand."
Rei kicks again.
Nanami sighs, completely defeated.
He closes the book, sets it aside, and speaks directly to your belly again:
"I promise to teach you all this when you grow up. And I want you to... be whoever you want to be. But if you like physics..." His fingers caress your skin. "...I would be very proud."
Then he looks at you.
At you, who are watching him, adoringly, because this man...
this man who seems as firm as marble...
melts with a tiny kick.
"Do you want me to read the chapter on energy... or is that enough for today?" he asks, as if it were the most normal thing in the world to read to a baby about kinematics at eleven o'clock at night.
You place your hand on his.
"Go on. I like listening to you too."
Nanami smiles.
And read it again, this time more slowly, as if he wanted that moment to be suspended in time.
The afternoon light streams through the living room window, warm and gentle, right where Rei sits on the rug with her wooden blocks. Her hair is a little tousled, a ponytail falling to one side, and she has that absolute concentration of children discovering the world piece by piece.
You're folding some blankets on the sofa, watching her out of the corner of your eye.
And Nanami⊠well, he's leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, enjoying the scene as if it were his favorite movie.
Rei stacks a block.
Another on top.
And another.
The tower begins to wobble.
Very softly, almost as if talking to herself, she murmurs:
"Gravity⊠gravity wants you to fall⊠but I'm going to hold you up."
Nanami raises an eyebrow, surprised and delighted.
You cover your mouth to stifle a laugh.
Rei places another block, tilting her head like her dad when he's analyzing something. Then she rests her fingers on the base and whispers:
"If the base is bigger... there's more stability."
The tower wobbles a little.
Rei's eyes widen, she takes a deep breath, and says softly, very seriously:
"Force... opposite... equal force."
And with a delicacy that seems almost inhuman in such a small child, she adjusts the tower so it doesn't fall.
It's saved by millimeters.
Rei celebrates with a shy clap.
She doesn't shout, she doesn't jump. She just smiles proudly.
Nanami, unable to resist, silently approaches, crouches down behind her, and asks in a soft voice:
"What are you building, sweetheart?"
He points to the tower.
"A very tall building, Daddy. But gravity is strong... so I have to use equal force so it doesn't win."
Nanami blinks once.
Again.
He stares at her as if he's just heard the theory of everything.
"That's... right," he says, almost in shock, but with that tender look he always gave her.
Rei smiles and offers him a block.
"Will you help me, Daddy?"
Nanami takes the block between his fingers.
"Of course. We're going to defy gravity together."
And as they build the tower, you watch them from the couch and think, yes... Rei inherited her father's brain, his calm voice, and his perfect gentleness.
the fraternities on campus always join the annual halloween festival as either scare actors for the haunted house, hosts for the game booths, coordinators for the performers, or helping with security.
this year was no different.
âoh, so you guys are all part of it?â you ask, sitting in the courtyard picnic tables, along with utahime, shoko, gojo, nanami, and geto, all munching on their sandwiches, you included.
âyeah, itâs a nice tradition for all the frats to be apart of it,â gojo explains with a mouth full of tuna and eggs. shoko scoots away.
âmainly because they get bonus funds from the university if they help,â nanami adds, utahime and you humming now understanding.
geto shakes his head, âitâs a win-win, plus this year theyâre doing the maze again, so itâll be fun chasing kids in there.â he laughs manically.
you and shoko exchange looks. nanami deadpans, âyou guys have to be more careful this year though.â
your brow quirks. âwhy?â
âitâs been cancelled the last two years, the only time theyâve had it was when we were freshmen,â nanami explains, swallowing his sandwich.
âoh for real? whyâd they cancel it, did you guys do something?â you tease lightly, but gojo and geto look away while nanami sighs.
âit wasnât us.â
your eyes bulge. nanami too?! âus??â you completely forgot he was apart of the frat freshmen year.
âi said it wasnât us. but it was ours and sukunaâs last night being pledges, and the seniors always have us working the worst jobs,â nanami continues, especially when you and shoko lean in. âanyways, we were working security around the maze, and everyone screams at the these things so we didnât think anything of it, butâŠâ
you, utahime, and shoko lean in more, nanamiâs suspense only had you all scooting closer together.
âsukuna decided to break off and round the maze again, since the festival is open to the whole town every year, it was easy for someone to sneak into the maze without going through the main entrance with their ticket. it happens every year. so he went to circle around, nearing the forest..â nanami pauses again. âas pledges, we really only have to do what weâre toldâŠbut sukuna never listened, actually I donât think any of us did, the seniors were assholes,â nanami goes on a tangent, but ultimately circles back. âanyways, thatâs when he started seeing that something was off.â
utahime holds onto your arm.
âwhat was off?â you mumble.
âthere was stranded clothes and bags by the back of the maze, right near the hay patch and forest.â
you gulp.
âsukuna said he hadnât seen anything else, but sometimes he says there was someone else he saw in the forest, but when he turned they were gone,â the low voice nanami was telling the story in, was honestly perfect, but it didnât help ease any nerves, only heightening the uneasiness at the turn of the story, holding your breath.
âthat doesnât explain why it was canceled for the next two years,â utahime questions.
âIâm getting there,â nanami takes a deep breath, clearly trying to shake the bad memory heâs about to divulge. âwe drew straws after another hour passed and sukuna still wasnât backâ I was picked, because they cheatedââ
ânot this again,â geto groans.
âwe did not cheat!â gojo snaps, defensively.
âyou did! you both cheated!â nanami points, blowing a fuse in seconds, clearly a touchy subject between the three.
âwe did not cheat, how many times do we have to tell you that,â gojo shakes his head.
âliars,â nanami growls, glaring at the two.
geto interjects. âjust continue on, or should I tell it?â
âno,â nanami huffs, turning back to you and shoko. he takes a deep breath, body shifting recalling the events of that night again. âI went around the back, followed where sukuna had disappeared too.â nanami pauses again. âit was like something was guiding me around that back section of the maze. away from the festival. away from the noise. away from everything.âyour brows furrow.
âit was a weird night, but when I got to the very back of the maze, no one was there⊠it was eerily quiet I remember, couldnât even hear any crickets, then I noticed sukunaâs flashlight on the ground. I started calling his name, searched around the area, but I couldnât find him. then I saw a section of the maze where the bushes were brokenâlike someone forced their way in, and against my better judgement I followed. it was better than being close to the forest.â nanami comments lowly. âwhen I got to the other side, thatâs when I saw the clothes and bags sukuna had told me about later. but continued searching for him, and just like outside of the maze, this section was dead silent.â
you note the way nanami rubs his sculpted jaw in discomfort. âi donât know what i saw that night. it was a blur. I went through one of the dead ends when I started hearing this screeching. it was like an animal in pain, but also something else.â utahime grips your arm tighter, cutting off blood circulation. âthatâs when i turned the corner and saw it.â
it?!
utahime goes pale.
âtwo girls were passed out on the ground, and this guy was on top of one of themâŠantlers the size of my arms, and he was muttering something over them and alsoâŠâ your eyes widened, blood going cold.
geto hums, âone of the pledges from the other frat had some agenda against his seniors, yeah, the hazing they did was shit, but at least neither of us four took it. but he was a little shit. those antler guys werenât students, they were his friends outside and he helped them sneak into the maze as scare actors, gave them the costumes outside the maze. those two girls were dating the seniors, but they went after a bunch of other girls in the maze too, stuffing them inside the bushes when they were done hitting them. a couple landed in the ER, one was sent for a bunch of psych evaluations. it was really fucked up.â
âwhat the fuck?â utahime mumbles, still clutching onto you, which youâre not complaining about, especially with the way your heart is pounding against your chest.
âand ryomen?â you ask, hands clammy.
âwe found him out in the forest hours later, bloody as shit, couldnât remember a thing, other than he was in the maze and had caught one of the freaks, butâŠâ geto pauses. âhe was tripped out.â
nanami decides to continue, âhe was swearing up and down there was something else in the maze with them. had cops searching the maze ripping bushes apart, practically delirious until he passed out from his injuries.â
âdid they find anything?â you whisper, unsure if you even want to know.
but nanami shakes his head, but looks away for a moment. licking his lips he decides to add one more thing, âa few pledges hadnât known about this plan, they had an agenda against the seniors, but they swore when they met in the forestâŠsomething was watching over themâŠlisteningâŠ.whisperingâŠa few swore it wasnât them over those girlsâŠâ
âboo.â
your heart rips from your chest, blood draining from your face in seconds, your scream piercing the air.
utahime cries out, as the boys fall over laughing. your hand presses against your chest once sukuna pops his head over yours, laughing.
âwhat the fuck!â you and utahime screech in union.
âoverheard you talking about me,â he says, you blink, chest hammering, catching something cold behind his eyes when he glances at the other boys. however, gojo shrugs, waving him off.
âjust a story time about the maze, nothing to worry about this year,â gojo laughs. geto nods. they seemed confident this year was going to be fine. âwe donât haze the pledges that badlyââ
âbut the other frats?â shoko points. and they all go silent.
sukuna glances down at you. your arm is still interlocked with utahimeâs, body tense, and eyes uncertain studying nanamiâs silent expression.
âwhatâre yâ gonna be dressed as for the the festival?â sukuna grunts, calloused palms feeling your hips and waist as you slowly grind on top of him. later that day, in the safety of your cozy apartment living room, a few halloween decorations hung around, as youâre straddling his lap, his flushed cock nestled deep inside your gummy walls, fuzzy socks still on, while the rest of your clothes are discarded on the ground alongside his.
your hands held his biceps for balance, feeling the muscles flex under your fingers with every lazy grind of your hips, your mind wandering back to nanamiâs story earlier today, the men that snuck into the maze, the women sent to the er, sukuna found in the forestâŠ.your eyes drift over his features, the tattoos painting his face, the dark sharp brows strewn together in pleasureâ
âummâŠâ your hips lift a little higher, before falling back down, whimpering as you feel the drag of his cock against your walls, tip kissing your cervix making you lift your hips, rolling them deeper. âmmâŠâm still deciding between utsuro from haah gokurkugai, or ah r-robinâs fit in enies lobby,â your voice cracks with another whine, hands tracing up his shoulders, cupping his cheeks, eyes heavy with pleasure. âwhat abouâ you?â
his palms grip your ass, fingers digging into the flesh, rolling his hips up, grunting when you clench. âitâs a surprise.â
you frown, leaning close, face hovering over his. âjusâ tell me.â
he shakes his head, pushing up to capture your lips, biting your bottom lip harshly, you whine, arching into his chest, ass raising just to bounce some more.
âtell me,â you whine again, âi donât know if i wanna go if you donât tell me,â you pout, eyes fluttering rocking a little quicker enjoying the way his pubes tickle your clit.
âdonât be a brat, youâre going,â he cracks a harsh spank on your ass making you jolt.
âwhy canât you jusâ tell me?â you grumble, pressing yourself closer to him, perky tits squished against his firm chest, the heat from him had your stomach flipping. his hand ghosts over your nape, and your body unintentionally goes tense, a cold bead of sweat trickles out of your pores remembering nanamiâs story again, âi wanna know so i can look for you,â you mumble.
a smirk tugs on his lips, âIâll find you. so just make sure yaâ tell me what youâre wearing, okay? robinâs hot.â he adds the last part with a smug smirk.
but you hesitate, eyes fluttering between his, hugging him tighter before muttering, âwhateverâŠjusâ fuck me now.â he does, leaning further back on the couch, feet firmly planted on the ground as he fucks up into you. you keep your arms locked around his shoulders, unable to let go as you hold him for dear life, face buried in his neck letting his gruff body manhandle you so easily considering heâs twice your size, keeping your ass raised up, so he can thrust up, beefy thighs slapping your ass with every slap.
the brute force of each slam had your eyes crossing, tongue lolling out, babbling incoherent words.
and when you came. shaking violently with pleasure, you curled even closer to him, lips sucking wet kisses along the column of his neck and collarbones, whining softly when he lifted you up allowing his cock to slide out, along with his thick load oozing out of your hole.
maybe you shouldâve pushed him then. asked what he was going to wear tomorrow. but instead you asked if he wanted to finish that horror movie, and staying close to his side, cheek pressed to his stomach as he laid across your comfy couch, you between his big legs, hugging him, his fingers played with your nape, caressing the baby hairs.
you werenât deathly afraid of horror movies, but it didnât help that you were on edge.
the heat from his bare chest was too inviting, pressing your body closer, glancing away from the screen to instead admire his dark treasure trail that grew thicker the closer they got, before disappearing into his loose sweats. your fingers lazily trail a finger through the hairs. brushing a nail down the trail, tickling the end, toying naively before dipping a finger into the waistband, feeling the thick pubes that rubbed your pussy earlier.
âIâll go as robin,â you mutter.
sukuna hums, tired and groggy, basically falling asleep, unbothered by your wandering hands.
âgood, âcuz I wanna fuck ya in those thigh high boots,â he husks, eyes growing heavyâŠ
the festival was packed.
youâd only ever gone to it sophomore year, but even then it wasnât as packed as this years. or maybe you just left too early to see how crowded it gets at peak hours.
either way, youâd been there for a little over an hour. you and utahime grabbed some food and visited a few booths before shoko finally joined. the three of you walking around, utahime crashing into you anytime a scare actor would pop up behind her making you and shoko fall over with laughter. ignoring the way youâd been subtly holding onto either of their wrists just so you wouldnât be left alone.
the night grew darker and the festival livelier.
a few kids were running out of the haunted house in tears. a few laughing by the game booths. however, you couldnât ignore the twisting deep in your stomach, or the way you felt every nerve spark when youâd glanced over at the forest.
the ominous darkness hypnotizing. luring you inâŠ
âhere try this!â gojo gushes, shoving the sweet carmel apple in your face, considering you were the only other person he knows that likes sweet things like him.
you hold his wrist, keeping him back to take it in your hand, cheeks flushing at the taste, eyes glancing up toâ
your heart stops. throat running dry. what the fuck.
a few feet away stood a man in bloody clothes, creepy dark clown mask covering his face. every single hair on your body stood up.
weird. you swallow the lodge in your throat, stepping closer in your friend group, hiding yourself from the clownâs view.
unfortunately that wasnât the only time you caught a clown in the corner. it was first by the food vendors. then again by the game booths. he was lurking, passing by, briefly turning to catch your eye, then disappearing. then it was outside the haunted house. your brows pinch every time, ignoring the way you tense up. is this the same clown?
the longer you walked around, the more tension in your shoulders wind, spotting two more clowns. but thatâs also when you realized that it was one of the uniforms for the scare actors, you swallow the lump lodged in the back of your throat. and yet, you avoid making eye contact with the forestâŠ.everythingâs fineâŠ
âno.â utahime states.
the three of you were standing beside the entrance to the haunted maze, the haunted house wasnât as scary as shoko wouldâve liked it to be, maybe because gojo and geto were there as scare actors and were ruining the experience, so here you guys are. utahime reluctant to go in.
âyou guys on line?â nanami suddenly appeared behind you guys, along with utahimeâs very infamous crush.
âyes!â utahime cheers.
your eyes pop. whatthefuck! you were banking on utahime refusing to go in and you humbly declining so she wouldnât be alone. but nowâŠ
the sweat slowly trickles down your back. hands clammy as you follow closely behind your friends. utahime and her crush in front. shoko and nanami behind. you in the middle. perfectâŠperfectâŠ.youâre protectedâŠ
but then the loud curl of utahime and nanamiâs screams after two scare actors lunged from the bushes, had you all panicking. your instincts kicking in, and running after the only person in front of you.
âhime! slow down!â you cry, running blindly through the maze to catch up to your friend, only to turn andâŠdead end. âHOW?!â
your immediately wiping back and forth, checking all your blind spots. this is the worst. youâre gonna kill her, what turn did you miss? youâre dragging your feet around to find your way out. or at least, find one of your friendsâŠ
but it proved much harder then youâd imagined.
the more time that passed the more anxious and unnerving you grew. the wind whistling grew stronger, the sound of branches cracking against one another unsettling.
how deep in the maze are you? thereâs something else in mazeâŠsukunaâs words echo in your mind. you can practically picture it coming from his vicious tongue once nanami had told you the story. your throat felt stale, senses sharper than ever, flinching at every creak and snap. why did he wake up in the forest? and why havenât you seen him all night? gojo and geto were working too, but they managed to sleep away for a sweet treat, but itâs close to midnight and you still havenât heard a thing from the man, not even a text. is he looking for you? âŠshould you look for him? your fingers quietly pull out your phone, gently swiping to your group chat quickly typing out where everyone was.
sukuna laying in the forest, a man with antlers standing over himâŠwhyâre you scaring yourself?! you scream checking your phone again.
no answer. âseriously,â you mutter, opting just to call shoko. one ring, the call cuts. did her phone fucking die?? âcrackâ
your heart stops.
another crack sends immediate waves of sweat and chills coursing through your skin, your eyes slowly pan up, sweat glistening through your pores, chills running down your spine like a shock.
fuck me. staring straight dead at you was none other than, the clown.
whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck
your heart was beating a million times per second, face hot, throat dry, hell noâ! leaveârunâ
youâre turning on your heel, kicking off the ground with as much force as you can muster, sprinting in the opposite direction. the pounding behind you instant upon your flee, heavy slams drawing closer, and closer. your breathing out of sync, head get dizzy. where is everyone?? you turn again, right, right, left. is there anyone else in this fucking maze?? the. the pounding behind you seizes, you glance over your shoulder briefly⊠no one.
did you lose him, your legs continue pushing forward. itâll be fine if you find someone else, no big deal. haunted mazes are fun when youâre not alone! you cry internally, running faster if you could with this tight ass costume, turning the corner intoâ
dead end.
you stumble in your tracks, heart thudding rapidly against your chest, eyes hot and stinging, turning, you trip back, catching yourself as frozen at the clown blocking your exit. âthis isnât funnyâŠâ
which clown was this one? the one staring at you by the booths, or at the haunted house? is he working the maze? you saw a few when you enteredâ
he steps closer, his size dwarfing yours, as you stumble back, eyes darting everywhere. your grip tightens around your phone, âdonât come any fucking closer,â your voice shakes. so close to puking. but the clown ignores your threats, cornering you against the pillar, noting the dead end maze. âIâm being serious!â you scream, arm flailing up and coming straight down towards his head with your phoneâ
he catches your wrist.
your hand immediately shoots out, shoving his chest back, desperate and not ready to give up, heart screaming in your ears. âdonâtâ get awayââ
the low whistle resounds deep in your core. body igniting, and arms going limp. eyes hot in seconds when you hear the low chuckle. âtold yaâ Iâd find you.â
your blood pressure spikes, brows pinching with unadulterated rage as you snatch the mask off him, eyes meeting the familiar blood orbs. âyou fucking asshole!â you shove the mask in his chest, letting it hit the floor, shoving him harder with both arms. the deep chuckle only further sets you off, face drawn into a deep scowl as you hit his chest with a fist, barely making him budge as he chuckles louder as if this whole fucking thing was amusing. you raise your boot covered foot kicking him hard in the shin.
the man buckles over, barking out a curse, âyou kick like a fucking man!â
âthat wasnât funny ryo! you fucking asshole, I was so close to shitting myself itâs not even funny!â you gasp, buckling over to hold your chest. the relief flooding through you and had you literally taking a minute to realize you werenât going to die, ignoring the dampness on your cheeks.
âitâs a haunted maze, woman, obviously Iâm gonna fuckinâ scare ya,â he groans, craning his neck shaking his leg off with a disgruntled huff.
âdonât even,â you huff, âyou scared the shit out of me, chasing after me like a fucking psycho!â
ânever claimed I wasnât,â his smug reply earns a glare from you. letting him step closer now, brushing a hand over your waist, dipping his head to meet you at eye level. âgood thing yâtold me who ya dressed as,â his eyes dip down to the revealing cleavage of your costume, lips brushing yours. âgot hard the second I saw you running.â
you tsk, rolling you eyes. âyeah whatever, I donât know how you can even get turned on in a place like this,â your eyes wander around the maze, hand tightening around the jacket of his bicep. âshouldnât you be working the maze?â you mutter.
his voice dips, tightening his grip on your waist hearing the latex scrunch. he presses you into the concrete pillar, sighing one your hold on him tightens, â i amâŠâ he trails off, kissing your jaw. your eyes still darting around you.
âw-where in the maze are we?â you clutch onto him, absolutely terrified when you hear the low whistle of the wind, branches brushing in much closer than before.
âthe far back of the maze, this pillar marks the north right side. closest to the forest,â his lips trail to your ear, sighing, words much calmer when he speaks. âwhyâre you alone?â
you blink, heart hammering, âi wasnât. i was with hime, her crush, kento, and shoko, then we got lost. this place is actually impossible to get through.â
âhowâd you get lost if you were with them going in?â he tsks, visibly annoyed pulling back to look at your face.
you frown, âwe got scared and I went to follow hime, but she freakinâ bolted and ditched me!â
his jaw locks, âyou couldnât retrace your steps?â
âno. i was trying to catch up to her, and wasnât paying attention,â you huff, glaring back at sukuna who looked unbelievably pissed off now. âwhat? itâs not my fault I got lost. youâre acting like i did it on purpose .â
his jaw locks, leaning closer.
the air is stiffâŠ.your lips part, waiting for him to say something, but he continues to stare. arm unwavering, securely wrapped around your waist. your heart thumps with unease, glancing around againâŠ
âyouâre scared,â he mutters, almost missing it if you werenât so close.
âhuh?â you flinch when his lips connect to yours, swallowing your cute gasp. his familiar warmth and scent easing your nerves, allowing his bulky body to completely shield you from any harm. âryo,â you hold his wrist, feeling it slip to the hem of your dress.
âyouâre not gonna let me feel?â he licks his lip, eyes lidded as staring at you, you dip to the side, trying to see if anyone is behind.
ây-you can, butâŠâ you flinch hearing another snap in the distance. âryo,â his name comes out as more of whine. his lip curling as he kisses your cheek.
âlemme jusâ feel. ease your jumpy nerves and then Iâll personally escort yâoutta the maze,â he smiles already feeling your grip loosen on his wrist. âI wouldnât leave you alone here. this is jusâ punishment for getting lost.â
your lips turn to kiss him more feverishly, clearly not seeing it as a punishment at all. âokay, but keepââ you swallow the lump. âkeep talking, jusâ so Iâm not likeâŠâ you pant lightly, the tension still locking you up. unable to fully utter the words that youâre scaredâŠ
âIâll talk you through it,â he muttered, voice so deep and sultry you feel it in your core. his heart thumps feeling you hold him tighter. he grips your thigh, lifting it around his slutty torso, warm palm gliding under the dress to grip your ass, squeezing. âwas gonna tell yâearlierâŠprobably didnât even need to know who youâd be dressed as,â he smiles, âIâd recognize this pretty ass anywhere. are you even wearing any panties under here?â
your lips part, his other hand trailing up your inner thigh, fingers ghosting the soft flesh as you sigh just a little louder. âo-obviously.â
his canines peak, grinning at the feel of your wet panties. his middle finger ghosting over the thin material before pushing it between your lips, letting your panties stick to your puffy folds. âdid you piss yourself from fear, or is this the usual amount?â he teases, earning a loud tsk from you, making him chuckle deep, hitting your cheeks with more butterflies.
âdonât act surprised,â you mutter, annoyed.
the cheeky bastard only grins devilishly, kissing your lips with more favor. âyour pussy getting wet that fast will always surprise me, woman,â he groans in your mouth, fingers gliding over your panties, rubbing your clit through the drenched material. he doesnât take too long to curl a single finger around the hem, tugging it to the the side. âespecially out here,â the cool air touches you sweetly, lips parting with a sweet whine, tongue meeting his in a savory kiss as he sinks a long, thick finger in.
âgood girl, letting the scary clown touch yâr pussy in this scary maze?â he laughs lightly, your lips cutting him off, arms wrapped around his neck, leg hiked around his thigh keeping yourself open for him. âyâ always remind me, how big of slut you are, anyone can pass by here and see me fingering this tiny pussy,â he groans, two fingers stretching you open now, easing your nerves, his words the only sound youâre focusing on, along with the squelching of your shameless pussy.
ânghâŠfeels good,â you whine, eyes glossy, jaw going slack as he keeps you pressed against the pillar, fingers pumping deeper inside you, the squelching obscene drenching your inner thighs with the ruthless pace, his rough palm hitting your mound with every thrust.
âhow can y get off here? you want someone to pass by donât you? see this big scary man stretching you open, making you whine like a fuckinâ slut,â the clenching of your pussy was enough of an answer.
âmâ close,â you bite your lip, making the man snort, leaning close to your lips.
âfirst time youâre controlling those slutty moans?â he curls his fingers more, your back arching lips parting in a silent cry, trying more to keep your voice down. âah ah just like that, yeah,â he coos teasingly, lips brushing your open mouth, chuckling darkly when your body locks up, clawing at his shoulders, as you tense. âthere we goâŠyeah, haah good cum all over my fingers,â he talks you throw your entire orgasm. his cock straining as your syrupy slick runs down his wrist. smirk darkening when youâre pressing your lips back on his, unbothered as he unzips the front of your latex costume, that hugs you so fucking well, letting your tits spill out.
âyouâre acting like you want more,â he mutters through wet kisses, rugged palm cupping the soft flesh of your tit, the other still securely holding your ass up, keeping you in place.
âiâŠdo,â you pant, tongue circling his, whine muffled once you feel him press his bulge between your thighs. âdo it like this thoughâŠdonât turn me around, please,â you whisper the last word. arms unable to unlock even if he tried, keeping you desperately attached to the man.
his chest flares, ears hot, and crotch throbbing. why are you so cute when youâre scared? it makes him feel sick that youâre actually holding onto him like youâre savior. him. fuck heâs such an asshole for not telling you, but then youâd be terrifiedâŠ
so he kisses you deeper. holds you tighter.
âyou wanna get fucked like this, itâs messier,â he grunts out, rutting his hips harder, finger digging into your ass. you whine, muscles flexing as you hang off his shoulders.
âdonât careâŠ.jusâ do it like this,â you hug him, standing on the tips of your toes, moaning again when he pushes his thumb against your nipple, letting the kiss get sloppier drooling into your open lips ruining your lipstick more.
âwhatever yâ say,â he grips your ass higher, your costume sliding over his hand exposing your whole ass to the cool air sending chills down your spine. âIâll fuck yâ however you want,â he mutters, keeping you pressed against the pillar but moving his arms off you. âas long as you keep askinâ me,â he struggles a bit to get his hands between your bodies to unbuckle his belt.
âbabe,â he grunts.
you donât budge.
âI canât fuckinâloosen your grip, woman,â he growls. your answer only comes as you pushing your torso away from his, arms still around his shoulder keeping him bent down awkwardly fiddling with the belt. âchrist, just two seconds.â
âyou said itâs fine like this,â you huff, uncharacteristically acting like a complete an total brat. arms locking tighter, the man grunts, your leg still around his thigh, keeping you attached to him like a child throwing a tantrum.
âyeah, if i can get my dick out, jesus,â he grips your waist, pulling you back slightly, but it seemed impossible. your arms were quite literally secured around his neck. âyouâre impossible.â
âstop complaining,â you grumble, earning a scoff from the man. gasp slipping past your lips as youâre easily lifted up from your waist. no extra effort watered in the action as he looks up at you now.
âstay up there,â he grunts. the subtle flex of strength sent another wave of heat pooling between your thighs. your legs lock around his clothed torso, allowing the man to unbuckle his pants, unzipping his jeans and tugging his chubby girth out, all while you remained attached to him like koala, lathering his lips with your spit and kisses. âgod Iâm gonna fuck you like this, have you screaminâ my name in seconds.â
your lips smack against each other, letting him firmly press you into the pillar, keeping you up, letting the kiss send oozing drips of pre pushing out of his bulbous tip.
your moans are muffled, clutching onto him desperately, finally feeling the crown of his head nudge your pulsing hole. your body easily betraying every rational part of your brain as you moan louder.
âfuck youâre the slut of halloween night arenât you,â he chuckles, low and deep pushing his tip in, and dropping your weight to take the entire length. âangh fuck.â
the moan that rips through you was uncalled for, especially when you suddenly latch onto him tighter face burying in his neck. âthat was loud,â you cry in fear.
âyeah, no shit,â he groans, hips coming out, before slamming his full length in you again earning a muffled cry from you. his thrusts are brutal, even when heâs fucking you in public! pinning you to the pillar and already starting rough pace. ânow we gotta go faster before one of the actors comes by, nghâ
âwhat?! why why itâs a mazeâanghââ your cries get muffled by the man. âwhich actor, donât say the clownsââ
âmost of us are clowns, or zombies,â he grunts, slamming up relentlessly. the squelching already resounding in the small closed space of the dead end square. âand weâre close to the forestââ
âdonât mention the forest!â you whine, his hips slamming harder coaxing a louder moan from you. maybe you were a complete slut, the thrill of being caught, but also your increased nerves had all your nerves coursing rapidly through your body.
his bulging arms wrapped under both of your legs, large hands pressed against the pillar as he fucks himself into your lewd hole, the angle had him panting in his costume, dipping his head to kiss the tops of your tits, groaning every time you clench around him.
sukuna ignores you, jaw going slack, his lips pressing open mouthed kisses along your breasts, panting heavily, grunts accompanied by each thrust. your eyes are rolling back, globes of tears stream down your face, from both the pleasure, and the loom of something going terribly terribly wrongâŠ
however, the extreme amounts of dopamine coursing through your veins, couldnât stop the sudden gush from snapping in your core, squirting.
âshit!â sukunaâs hips jerk back at the splash, pushing his cock out. âyou squirt in the worst fuckinâ times, babe,â and heâs groaning so obscenely at the feeling, gribbing his base again rubbing his cock head through your spluttering folds feeling you squirt another thick gush when he presses his wet tip against your clit. then back down to circle your hole as it spasms a few more weak spurts, soaking his heavy base along with his jeans.
âmmmâ didnât mean too,â you babble, drool slipping down your chin, as he shoves his full length back in, knocking the air from your lungs, nails digging into his nape. ânghâahh sensitive ryoâ
his lips connect with yours in a hungry kiss, swallowing your cries and muffling his own throaty moans as you exchange spit and tongue. ignoring your squirming body as his hips get sloppier, slamming every inch of him into you. you can tell heâs getting closer as he stops kissing you, his tongue lazing out against yours, groaning as you feel his chubby girth twitch violently between your gummy walls.
with a final few sloppy thrusts, he buries himself deep inside, crushing you against the pillar as his tip blows ropes of sticky white cum inside you. his load is thick and warm, rutting lazily to milk every glob.
your both left panting against each other, heavy breaths mixing as your nails scratch his nape as if you were both peacefully laying in the post sex glow after rounds in your apartment. but no, youâre in a very unsettling halloween maze, and the blood curdling scream not to far away has you both snapping back to reality.
âah shit,â he groans, keeping you pressed as he pulls out watching the globs of cum ooze out. his jaw locking at the mess. âyâreally decided to spray me here and not when Iâm butt-ass naked tryna get you to squirt on my dick and face when weâre home?â
your heart thumps, not missing the gentle swarm of butterflies that break when he uses the word home to describe your cramped little apartment. âI donât control that sorta thing, so donât embarrass me.â
the man grumbles, slowly setting you down, allowing you the chance to finally see the mess in question. your cheeks sting at the sight of sukunaâs lengthy cock softening as it hangs heavy from his fly, completely covered in your juices and the sticky frothy white of his cum circling his base and pubes. but also how the entire front of his jeans is dampened by you.
all you can manage is a quiet, âoh.â
and even after all that, youâre still gripping the sleeve of his shirt, watching him fix himself back into his stained boxers and jeans. it was alluring and had a soft pulse beat between your legs at the sight of sukuna buckling his belt, unbothered by the fact that youâve completely doused his crotch in your juices.
âyouâre still holding me after getting fucked and squirting everywhere? what if someone had passed by huh?â his voice dips devilishly low, kissing your ear as he slowly zips the front of your dress up, hidding your precious tits back underneath the costume. âthey wouldâa seen this sweet cunt gushing everywhere like a faucet,â he stops the zipper much higher than you had it before, covering most of your cleavage. his hands sliding to your hips back down to hold your ass. âwould yâ have liked if they saw?â
your lips part in shock, body heating up, pussy clenching feeling the load heâd just stuffed inside you ooze down your leg getting close to the rim of your thigh high boots. your face pressing into his shoulder.
âwould you?â he presses, kneading the flesh harder, pulling your cheeks apart, feeling more of his cum slip out!
you squeak, shaking your head, eyes meeting his before uttering the most downright awful thing you could ever say to a man that isnât even your boyfriend.
âonly ever want you to see, ryo.â
and the way two people can look at each other like that, and say things neither of them could fully back up, should be a crime.
especially when your arms are wrapping around his neck, kissing his lips so softly, sweeter than before so that he can taste your lips instead of trying to swallow you whole. you gently pull back to exhale a sigh. his grip loosens on your ass and fixes your soaked panties in place, then pushing the material of your dress back over your ass covering you up like a gentleman, and slotting a beefy thigh between your legs to soak and clean the dripping cum with his jeans. not caring how filthy he looks now.
his lips meet yours with every kiss, keeping you pressed against him, making outâŠ
âwoah, sorry,â a shocked voice squeaks at the exit, your grip tightens automatically, clutching onto the man as he glances over. the two zombie actors blink rapidly. âoh itâs you sir! weâve been lookinâ for you, president gojo told us to call ya up front, itâs an emergency.â
your grip eases, he was one of the pledges for sukunaâs frat.
âyeah yeah, Iâll be there,â sukuna barks, waving them off like a flies.
âguess Iâm headinâ in the same direction,â he pulls away, adjusting himself through his jeans, because obviously a sweet make out session with you, in a creepy ass maze, could make him hard after nutting minutes ago.
your lips part once his hand slots down, dwarfing yours in his firm grip, but youâre latching onto his whole arm as you walk out. eyes darting around every time you turn a corner. sukuna watches quietly, tongue poking his cheek in mild irritation, not at you, but because you sure as shit werenât afraid of anything a week leading up to this festival until nanami decided to open his big mouth.
another crack has you clutching him tighter, unintentionally tugging his collar down, choking him, âcalm down,â he grumbles, adjusting his shirt.
âthere were other creepy ass clowns here, youâre not the only one,â you pause, chills running down your spine before you say the next part. âand their could be something else too.â
sukuna goes stiff, his eyes darken under the moonlight.
you were now near more people, the exit of the maze could be seen in the distance. college students and a few kids in tears running towards the exit, along with a few laughing. but sukuna freezes, his grip tightens around your hand.
âkento told yâ guys everything, huh?â
the hairs on the back of your neck stand. throat tightening as you look up at the man. the expression on his face was dauntingâŠunlike anything youâd ever seen. his thick brows were pinched, eyes dark with something distant swimming behind them, muscles tightening around his locked jaw.
âryo?â you softly call, eyes wide in unsettled fear at the man who just fucked you raw in a halloween maze, and was now spacing out at the worst moment. âryo,â you tug his sleeve.
âletâs keep walking,â he nudges you forward, and your quick to stay close, heart pounding louder, watching him pick up his strides until youâre reaching the exit. your friends coming into sight, all jumbled up by the exit along with gojo and geto and a few safety officers.
âwhat the hell?! you were together the whole time?!â utahime screeches, eyes rimmed red as if sheâd been crying the whole time. her crushes jacket hanging off her shoulders in quiet comfort.
âyeah, whatâs wrong?â you rush over to her, finally letting go of the man to check on your friend, your eyes wide with worry.
she shoves you back in anger, âyou! you were stuck in there for over an hour! we all eventually came out, and tried calling you but you werenât answering!! what the hell!â her tears immediately start to flow again, hitting you again, lighter.
your brows pinch pulling out your phone. âI tried calling you guys and I didnât get an answer,â you check your notifications suddenly all their messages and missed calls coming in.
âso you guys were together the whole time huh?â gojo smugly slips into the conversation, eyes sweeping over you and then sukuna. neither man missing the wet patch in front of his crotch even if it was subtle in the dark.
sukuna scowls in response.
âshe got lost and passed through my section,â sukuna huffs, your eyes glancing over at him, the expression he carried earlier was gone, back to his usual grumpy scowl. he catches you staring, brows relaxing noticing him dip his gaze to your lips.
he canât just!â you flush turning away. missing the subtle smirk on his lips.
and the rest of the night played out with your friends close by, completely oblivious to sukuna holding kento back, growling deep and threatening.
âdonât let her, or any of those girls leave your sight,â his jaw locks glancing back at you, shoko laughing as she slaps utahimeâs blushing face. âyou understand?â
and even if this was a clear threat towards nanami, he ultimately was the only one that believed what sukuna saw that night three years ago. nodding his head and swearing to the man that you three wonât leave his sight.
sukuna didnât need to add the other part about what happened tonight. opting to keep it between himself, gojo, and geto.
he was walking through his section when heâd heard the blood curdling scream and saw you wip past him, and right on your tails was a clown. the bat heâd been carrying swung with more force than he can muster in his huge size, landing a hard crack in the clownâs ribs, knocking him to the ground.
the clown wails in pain. unbothered, sukuna kneels down on his chest, cutting his airway as he rips the mask off. âwe only have six fuckinâ clowns in this maze,â he seethes, eyes sweeping over the groveling manâs face, âand we each have these shitty bands on our biceps, to countâŠ.and you donât have oneâŠâ the manâs eyes widen, scrambling to get up, but sukuna is already cracking a hard fist straight to his jaw knocking him out.
his eyes darken, blood boiling and fist tightening for another punch, but he hears your pounding footsteps getting further away.
he lied. or better yet, he didnât correct you when you assumed he was the same clown. how would it make you feel better to know it was some creep that snuck in and was chasing you to do gods knows what. his blood curdles at the thought. of course heâd rather hover over you all night, but he ultimately agreed to scout the back of the maze, especially since he didnât know what else would be circling the forest or if other people would fall victimâŠ.
and as oblivious as you were, you couldnât shake the feeling that sukuna wasnât telling you the full truth, or more so he was keeping something secret.
maybe you didnât want to know. maybe you wanted to wait by the food vendors with your friends, dragging the conversations and laughter until the very end of the festival and sukuna and the other boys were finally free from the shackles of volunteering. gojo in shambles, and geto holding him up.
maybe you just wanted to silently rub whatever was swarming through sukunaâs mind when his eyes met yours. gaze sweeping over your form as if this was the first time heâs really taking in your costume. and finally fulfilling his lustrous desires once you arrived back at your apartment, fucking you mean and fast still in costume. except that he was completely stripped bare, forcing you to keep the costume on, just to make the big mess heâd been daydreaming about.
and in the late hours of halloween night, sukuna basked in your warmth, ignoring the terrible whispers heâd heard throughout the night, or the slight twitch in his eye when he felt something hovering over his shoulder, or the unnerving feeling deep in his stomach, like another mouth was splitting it open.
whatever comes out of that forest on halloween night seems to settle only when sukuna is around. keeping watchâŠ
it wasnât his imagination, just a bad dream seeing the four-armed beast lurking in the woods.
his grip tightens around you, holding you closer more protectively between his arms.
and eventually heâd fall asleep to your soft breaths, instead of the low hum of the forestâŠ.
more frat!kuna
a/n: i was writing this with the craziest imagination at night, scaring myself half to death just thinking ab the forest stuff but reading it back in the morning im just likeâŠitâs not that scary. anyways I hope you guys liked it!! â (pumpkin divider by @/strangergraphics)
thinking about fucking professor!nanami who you met at a bar, celebrating your last day of summer before college classes begin again. With his blonde hair, chiseled cheekbones and those muscles popping out from his dress shirt may have made you a little nervous, but with a few shots of liquor in your system you gained liquid courage. His perfect smile and smooth voice only drew you in more, and god how his thighs looked in those khakis made your imagination run wild. The conversation ran smooth, he told you he was a professor, which led you to realize he was older than you may have believed, but that didnât stop you. Honestly, it seemed exciting being with an older man considering youâve been told many times that theyâre great in bed.
So with a few drinks in your system and hours of flirting back and forth, you both end up in his car, in the back of some random building. Your dress is hiked up, and his hands are gripping your ass, guiding your hips up and down his cock. The aroma of sex and sweat lingers in the air, your bodies pressed close together as he thrusts up into you. The tip of his cock grazes against your cervix, your eyes rolling back. âYouâre so fucking deep! Yes!â You cry out. And Nanami doesnât plan on stopping, the intoxicating of your pussy gripping down on his does something to his brain. Having a pretty little thing like you on top of him makes his dick throb harder than ever before, especially with how eager you are.
His hand swats down your ass, grabbing at the flesh to soothe the sting. His breath fans against your ear, panting heavily as he succumbs to your warmth, basking in the pleasure and thrill of this moment. âYou like it right here? Huh?â He angles his hips just slightly, flushed against yours as he presses against your sweet spot. You let out a pornographic moan, gripping onto him tightly. âThatâs the spot, baby? Right fucking there, hm?â He toys with you, thrusting up into you again. Your body shudders in his hold. âOhhh, yes, baby. Take it. Fucking take it.â He starts loving at an animalistic pace, repeatedly hitting your sweet spot.
âOh my god! Oh my god!â With each brutal thrust, your skin heats up, heart rapidly pounding in your chest. Your brows furrow in pleasure, turning your head to catch his lips, feverishly kissing him. His tongue slips against yours, both of you moaning, panting, high off pleasure. âOhhhâŠshitâŠIâm gonnaâgonna c-cum!â You moan, biting down on your bottom lip.
âAtta girl, cum on my dick. Let me feel all of you,â he whispers against your ear, his arms wrapping around your waist, holding you. âI got you, sweetheart.â His presses a messy kiss to your lips, each growing second your orgasm builds, and you already know how intense itâll be. Your mind goes completely blank, incoherent mumbles and whimpers are all that are heard from you. Without warning, your entire body shakes, your orgasm raining down on you like a storm. âThere she is,â he chuckles. âGood fucking girl.â He spanks your ass a few times, taking enjoyment out of watching you cum on his dick, still fucking him back as best as you could.
And the next morning, your up early in the morning, walking to your new class like nothing happened the night before. Thankfully it was your last year of college before you were officially done. It felt like a lifetime before that would happen though. You sat down in the lecture room, noticing a few faces from campus and previous classes through the years. It wasnât anything you werenât used to. All you were hoping is that the introduction was quick and smooth so you could go back to bed.
The side door to the room opened, the professor clearing his throat and setting down his things on the empty desk. âGood morning class, welcome to bio chemistry. Iâm sure itâs nothing new for you. My name is Professor Nanamiââ
You look up from your laptop, eyes wide in shock to see that your professor is in fact the man who just fucked you in his car last night. Why didnât he say he was working at this college? Why didnât you ask more question? You were so stupid. âOh my god, oh my god,â you quietly whisper to yourself, hoping he didnât notice you in the sea of students. âAre you fucking serious?!â You sink down in your seat just enough for the laptop to hide your face.
If only this class wasnât a requirement for your majorâŠ
âč tags: ryomen sukuna x female reader; childhood friends; character mentions: uraume - satoru gojo; unresolved tension; sukuna is oh so in love; fluffy but a mix of angst/smut/fluff; domestic; non curse au; p in v sex; unprotected sex; dry humping; making out; oral sex;
:about: you've known sukuna before he was a world boxing champion, when he was just a scrawny kid who used to hide behind your legs when you were both in kindergarten. sukuna is growing tired of the fame and fortune, and all he really wants is to fall into the arms of the one person who he's always considered his home.
this fic is one shot. I'll happily answer any lore questions regarding boxer!sukuna x reader, but there will not be a part two or more parts of their story. It is a standalone.
wc:Â 19K+
Sukuna steps out of the shower, his body wound up in a tight coil after the night's fight. He presses the bridge of his nose together to relieve his throbbing head, but his brow is searing with pain. When he opens his eyes he catches a reflection of his self in the bathroom mirror- a split on his bottom lip, a cut on the arch of his right eyebrow and a slight bruise on his left cheek.Â
It's rare for him to look this battered after a match.Â
He's been untouchable for years, he's almost forgotten what it's like to take a few good hits in the ring.Â
"Do you want to talk about what happened?"Â
His eyes flicker up toward Uraume, who seems to have appeared out of nowhere. Â
He shakes his head at his manager. "Nothing happened, I won. Isn't that a good thing?"
Uraume narrows their gaze, sharp like a sly little fox. They can read Sukuna like a book, but Sukuna chooses to play ignorant and brushes off their knowing stare.Â
He knows that the inquisition isn't about the sponsors, the money, or the win.Â
He also knows that Uraume never asks questions that they donât know the possible answer to.Â
Thankfully, his manager just sighs.Â
"The limo is outside waiting to take you to the party," they state, their heavy exhale indicating that they know Sukuna won't own up to what they are trying to prod out of him.Â
"Fuck," Sukuna grumbles. The towel hangs low on his hips, and he throws the one that is around his neck onto the ground. He steps outside to the locker room and proceeds to change. He dries off, puts on his boxers and picks up his black t-shirt before pulling it over his bare chest marked with ink. He then tugs on his jeans, and secures his belt around the waist. "Do I have to go to that?"Â
Uraume shrugs, "Don't you want to parade your big victory over Satoru Gojo to the rest of the world?" his manager adds, slipping both hands into their pocket as they stride casually toward Sukuna who is merely trying to gather the rest of his things.Â
The last touch is his signature silver chain necklace. He hooks the accessory around his neck, while mentally preparing himself for the crowd waiting for him outside. For the voices that would be screaming out his name, and the obnoxious paparazzi who can't seem to grasp the concept of personal space.Â
They all gawk at him like he's a endangered animal at the zoo. Â
His chest seizes at the thought.Â
He used to gloat over being in the spotlight. He took to stardom with an extreme sense of pride, but the thought of it right now just makes his skin crawl uncomfortably.Â
The only thing that Ryomen Sukuna wanted at this very moment, is to go home in fucking peace.Â
Heâs given the fans and the world what they wanted.Â
"Little shit got what was coming to him," he blurts out in response to Uraume. "It'll take him a while to lick his wounds and get over his broken pride..."Â
Uraume chuckles, "and I was worried that he might have actually had an advantage over you..."Â
Sukuna swallows the sudden lump in his throat.Â
God he was fucking tired. His whole body is aching, begging him to get some much needed rest. He hadnât trained this hard in a long time. The strict diet, the isolation, the strenuous days in the gym and in the training ring slowly started filtering into him in doses.Â
"Almost," he admits quietly, a little bitter over the reality of the situation that he was close to losing. "He's good for his age. Really good actually."Â
Uraume's face falls at that. "You don't sound like yourself, my king," they tease half-heartedly, addressing Sukuna by yet another title which he earned in the ring.Â
"The King", "The Beast", âThe Champâ, âMonster of The RingââŠ
There was a time when he was younger, when the fire for the fight burned inside him with such intense conviction, that he found dignity in the titles that he's earned from every match. The thrilling sensation of him standing in the middle of the ring, his hands raised with victorious joy as he looked down at his opponent while the crowd would cheer for him like he was a figure of the divine, used to mean a great deal to him.Â
But those titles feelâŠhollow. An old skin which Sukuna unknowingly shrugged off without even realizing it.Â
"I'm just exhausted," he breathes with a hint of frustration, giving Uraume a reply after allowing his mind to drift for a few seconds. "I've got a raging headache and my shoulder is killing me."Â
He slings his bag over his good arm, before turning to face his manager.Â
The pair walk down towards the end of the hallway, and Sukuna can already hear the muffled voices from the press that have slowly gathered inside. He elongates his spine naturally as he holds a domineering pose. He quietly huffs out a breath and tries to steady the uneasiness coursing through his veins. The second the press lay their eyes on him, they stampede towards Sukuna like dogs off their leash. A flash of white and blue flickers around him, disorienting him for a single moment.Â
"Hey, champ! How does it feel to knock out Satoru Gojo after everything he said this season?"Â
"Way to prove that you're still The Beast of the Ring! What's next for our King?"Â
"You've held your championship title for ten consecutive years! How do you go up from here?"
"Sukuna! Sukuna! Is it true that you've just locked in a multi-million dollar deal with Nike?" Â
Uraume steadies the crowd, protectively standing in front of Sukuna as they gesture everyone to calm down.Â
Despite the sheer difference in their size, Uraume has a natural way of commanding a room.Â
That's one thing Sukuna has always been grateful for regarding his manager; Uraume always looked out for his best interest first. Â
"Hello, everyone," they politely speak, their voice calm and pleasant. "While we appreciate the enthusiasm; our champion, Ryomen Sukuna, will only be making a single statement. He's had a long night and needs his rest," they announce, before looking over their shoulder and giving Sukuna a nod of approval to say what he needs to say.Â
The man is thankful for Uraume every single day. He already informed them earlier that he wasn't interested in any post-match interview or conversations with the press, and Uraume happily obliged by accepting the privacy that he desperately needed.Â
Sukuna tightens his grip around the gym bag over his shoulder. He stares at the small audience before him before clearing his throat to speak. "Young fighters like to run their mouth. I know because I used to be one of them. It's easy to be all bark and no bite. But in my case, I came out teeth first-" he states with a patronizing tone, noticing the press eagerly hang onto his every word and even laughing at his snide remark.Â
They are waiting for a brutal comment from the badass himself, for him to add the cherry on top of all the shit-talk heâs already dished out.Â
But Sukuna acknowledges that there is no place for it now.Â
He doesn't need to add more to the hurt he's already caused to Satoru Gojo.Â
Everything was settled in the ring, and now it was over.Â
"However, I have to admit that this was one of the best fights of my career. I had fun. He's been a thorn by my side but I respect Satoru, and I know he has a brilliant career on the horizon. That's all I have to say about that for now. Have a good night."Â
He steps away from the press, who trail at his feet like a pack of rats rattling off question after question as Uraume tries to console their demands. His manager delays their footing, all the while Sukuna finds the rest of his entourage at the arena exit.Â
A string of bodyguards help him get through the second crowd of loyal fans who have gathered. They are waving phones in the air, begging for photos and videos. Sukuna obliges with a few, trying his best to fight off the shakes that's starting to make his hand tremble slightly. People lift up their shirts, flash their cleavage and pull out posters, bras and clothes for him to sign. He does so, his signature faltering from a clean string of letters to a fast doodle of his name. His fans offer him flowers, art, and mementos which he takes, and whatever extra he can't carry he hands off to one of his guards. When he's finally had enough of giving himself to the fans, he bids everyone a wave as his bodyguards escort him to the private parking lot in the back of the arena.Â
Sukuna doesn't even realize how hard his heart had started hammering until he's embraced back into the quiet again. He feels incredibly uncomfortable in his own skin, and he isn't sure if it's the apprehension or the adrenaline wearing off from the fight. The phone in his pocket buzzes, probably Uraume wanting to make sure he's made it safely to his vehicle, but he canât bring himself to answer the call.Â
"Sir," one of his bodyguards states, "There's a VIP who is expecting to see you..."Â
"So?" Sukuna scoffs, the black Mercedes in the distance a sanctuary. "I don't want to fucking see them."Â
"Well, you see, they insisted. They weren't taking no for an answer."Â
"And you would be shit at your job if you just let them roll over you like that," Sukuna begrudgingly replies.Â
Sukuna wasn't particularly fond of the VIP guest lists. A majority of them were people who wanted to fawn over him, or simply weasel their way into his pants. The other half were people with deeper pockets trying trying to bargain him into fixing fights so that they can win big bucks on their bets.
Sukuna did not have the time or patience for the latter, and even the former as well.Â
Especially tonight.Â
"Actually, Sir, she's waiting for you as we speak-" the bodyguard stammers, having to look up when he addresses Sukuna.Â
The champion stops abruptly to give him a puzzled stare and a piece of his mind over his bodyguardâs stupidity, but his attention is sharply drawn back to the car when he notices a figure step out of the Mercedes.Â
You're wearing a denim skirt, a fitted white top and a pair of black boots. Sukunaâs heart skips a beat, noticing that your hair looks a little different from when he last saw you. A sparkle of silver glitters on your neck that matches his own chain, and you beam at him with a bright smile that steadies his soul.
 The click of your heels echo a little louder from the distance as you approach him, waving your fingers delicately in his direction to say your first hello. Sukuna's feet moves faster than the rest of him. He drops his bag off his shoulder, the gifts in his hands splay across the concrete ground and he scoops you up in his arms before spinning you in the air the second he wraps his arms around you.Â
You giggle at his greeting, your body trapped in a blanket of muscle and cologne. Your fingers thread between the strands of his red hair, tears pricking your eyes at the sight of your best and oldest friend.Â
Sukuna squeezes you tightly, "they should have just told me it was you by name," he exhales with a hint of annoyance, then carefully places you back down to rest your feet on the ground.Â
You laugh under your breath, "Don't worry, I gave them hell for it. I told them that I'm the only VIP who mattered considering I have been on that list the longest...."Â
You try to loosen your grip but Sukuna tenses up, so you ease back into his hug.Â
He didnât want to let go just yet.Â
And truthfully, neither do you.Â
"Hi, princess," he whispers in your ear, his voice deep and thick with fatigue.Â
"Hey, 'kuna" you reply softly, your fingers curling around the back of his neck, as your heart beats heavily against his now relaxed chest.Â
â âč .
The light from the car's backseat illuminates Sukuna's ruggedly handsome face. You cup his jaw between your fingers, and lightly trace your thumb over the cut on his swollen lip. Your eyes track upward and you wince at the gash across his brow.Â
"He got a few good hits on you didn't he?" you point out, not as a question necessarily but more as a statement of the obvious.Â
"A few good hits doesn't mean shit..."Â
"When was the last time you got hit this bad in the ring?" you press.Â
"I fight for a living, someone was bound to land a punch someday. Besides, it's not a concern. I had my good luck charm tonight without even knowing it..." he responds with a wolfish grin.Â
You jab him playfully in the chest. "You're not made of steel you know? You had me concerned for a second..."Â
"I roughed him up too," Sukuna states with a pout, "you're all acting like he walked away completely unscathed..."Â
He slings an arm over your shoulder, his strength pushing your body weight to lean closer against his side. You shake your head with disapproval as you press the button to switch off the light above you both.Â
The city moves past you in a haze, but you can't stop taking in the man before you.Â
Ryomen Sukuna.Â
The first time you met him was on the playground of your old kindergarten. You were all outdoors, and you noticed that these two bigger kids were knocking him around. The kindergarten teachers weren't anywhere to be seen. At the clear imbalance of power and with your sheer sense of goodwill, you decided to go over there and help.Â
Sukuna had just joined your class only three weeks before that. He was the smallest kid, and had a hard time keeping up with everyone else. Everyone made fun of him and called him "chili crisp"Â because of his hair. They teased him constantly for how he looked, how he dressed, and how he spoke and simply refused to play with him.Â
Being young and impressionable, you never engaged. But you didn't do anything to help Sukuna either. It made you ache seeing him treated this way, and this time you weren't just going to let it slide anymore.Â
Sukuna did nothing to deserve this treatment in the first place.Â
However, despite his small stature, Sukuna was a fighter even then.Â
He kept getting up even if it meant that he would just be shoved down once again.Â
You remember walking up to both those kids and grabbing them by the collar. You yanked them off, placing yourself in between them and Sukuna before scolding them both for their terrible behavior.Â
"I'm gonna tell!" you squealed with a furious point of your finger, threatening them with snitching words. "And if I ever see you hurt him, I'm going to make sure everyone knows how bad you are! And youâll get into so much trouble with the teachers!â
You sharply kicked them both in their heels, and watched the kids scamper off, a little more intimidated now that someone they deemed as an equal threat entered the playing filed. Once they were gone, you turned toward Sukuna who was planted on the concrete ground. He was wiping away his snotty nose and trying to hide his tears.Â
You scratched the back of your head nervously, your throat all itchy and tight from the sight of him.Â
"You're-you're not a chili crisp," was all you could think of telling him in that moment. You gave him a small but kind smile, before offering him both your hands and helping him on his feet.Â
He was a whole head and shoulder shorter than you were back then. His clothes barely hung onto his body. He had to fix up his t-shirt and readjust his shorts.Â
"I know that," he answered with irritation, and a scowl that never seemed to have left him.Â
You assisted in brushing the dust off him.Â
"Your name is Ryo-men Su-ku-na?" you asked, breaking down the pronunciation of his name to make sure you said it correctly.Â
He nodded his head quietly.Â
You gave him another tender grin, and reached out for his hand before introducing yourself.Â
"I know who you are, I'm not stupid."Â
You frowned at his sharp response. "I never said you were."Â
The two of you stood there facing one another in awkward silence, unsure of how to proceed from the moment.Â
You shifted your weight from one foot to the next, kicking a random little rock on the ground. "Those kids are stupid."Â
"Yeah, they are." He grumbled through gritted teeth.Â
"So, if I'm not stupid and you're not stupid, why don't we be friends?"Â
Sukuna's eyes widened slightly at your words, like he couldn't believe what you said.Â
"Friends?"Â
"Yeah!" you squeaked with a little more excitement. "You'll have someone to sit next to and play with every day!"Â
He nervously gripped the hem of his tee.Â
He never gave you a real response, but the next day he showed up and took a seat right next to you in class.
You were both six years old, and have been insuperable ever since.Â
â âč .
You press your cheek against his broad shoulder, and Sukuna sighs as his body melts into the leather seat underneath him. His hand gently rubs your own shoulder, with the two of you sitting in silence together as you have done many times before. He instructs the driver to take you both back to his penthouse, disregarding some after party that he's expected to attend.Â
At the call, your heart flutters with anticipation because it was a clear sign indicating that he wanted to be alone with you.Â
You shivered thinking of the last time that happened.Â
It's hard to believe that this version of Sukuna co-exists with the person you've known for a majority of your life.Â
The day after he sat next to you in kindergarten, everything changed for the better.Â
Sukuna still grimaced at everyone else, but kids no longer picked fights with him and he had a warming smile that was reserved for you alone.Â
Whether in class or outside of school, you both spent every spare moment that you could together. You were glued to the hip like two peas in a pod. Your parents adored him, doted on Sukuna despite him resisting their affection. It was only one night, when he was having yet another sleepover at your place, where you finally asked him how is he able to hang out with you all the time.Â
Sukuna revealed a truth that broke your heart entirely.Â
âHere is better than being home. Usually it's just me..."Â
"Just you?" you whispered innocently, "but your mom and dad?"Â
You watched him shrink into his blanket with uncertainty. "Don't know. I live with my Grandpa. He works a lot..."Â
It's only later in your life where you learnt the full story.Â
Sukunaâs parents abandoned him, leaving him with his grandfather to pursue reckless adventures together. At the time Sukuna was only three years old. His grandfather worked hard to provide for the boy, but he was an aging old man and didnât expect to be responsible for such a young child. Sukuna's grandfather always showed deep gratitude to your parents for helping out and providing Sukuna with another safe space that gave him some much needed stress relief on his end.Â
His daughter eventually returned, in tow this time with Sukunaâs half brother Yuji. His dead beat dad was gone for good. But by then Sukuna was already fourteen.Â
Heâs always had a complex relationship with his family, but things seem to be better with his brother. The two of them could pass off as identical twins, it was almost scary how alike they looked.Â
You loved Yuji; he was a living antithesis of his older brother. Always perky, smiling so bright itâs like the sun follows his footsteps.Â
Sukuna, on the other hand, carried the shadow and gloom of a waning moon.Â
Your childhood and early adolescent years were precious, cherished moments and memories that solidified the strength of your relationship. But despite everything, you were the only person who saw how bright Sukuna's own light could shine.Â
The driver finally parks the car in front of one of the most expensive buildings in Tokyo. Sukuna gets out first, and extends a hand into the vehicle to help grab yours. The touch sends tingles up your arm, but you do your best not to read into the reaction just yet.Â
The two of you enter the building, passing the security who simply tilts their head in acknowledgment, but from your peripheral vision you notice Sukunaâs eyes shifting around his environment.
âNo cameras,â you reassure him with a squeeze to his bicep. âNo paparazziâŠâÂ
Sukuna was aware of what he signed up for with fame, but that did not mean that you had to be subjected to the aggressive violation of privacy.Â
And after everything that happened, after the horrific clashing of both your worlds, he felt himself breathe a huge sigh of relief.Â
âThey probably think I am showing up to the victory party,â he answered with gratitude.
The elevator rings, the doors opening as you both step inside.Â
Sukuna hits the button to the penthouse suite, and from the way his shoulders slump you can tell there is something off about his demeanor.Â
This isnât the Ryomen you knew who walked away from a fight with the buzz of the winner.Â
Heâs dimmed.Â
A bulb thatâs flickering.Â
Somethingâs wrong, you thought, looping your arm around his and keeping your eyes on the numbers increasing as you swallow your concern.Â
â âč .
Puberty didnât hit Sukuna; it struck him like a brick over his head.Â
At sixteen years old, Sukuna was no longer the loser kid that everyone picked on. He was a tower, a watchful pillar that looked down on those around him with an intimidating stare. All of a sudden this scrawny boy shot up like a tree, his body springing into a new version of himself. His voice broke, dropping octaves lower than the soft tone of what it used to be. His shoulders broadened, lean muscle forming since he spent most of his time wrestling and boxing. Â
He became the bad boy that everyone blushed and fawned over.Â
The athlete that people admired.
His coaches loved him - called him a prodigy, and a star of the future.
Sukuna carried himself with plenty of self respect, and was extremely well spoken. Outside of his athletics he enjoyed reading and learning history, and his venture into sports only happened because it kept him busy and gave him some much needed space away from his home. He was readjust to a new life with his mom back in the picture, and a brother who was five years younger than him. At first it was simply an escape, but once he settled into the atmosphere of it all, it gave him a sense of structure. Sukuna was diligent about his training and academics, outsmarting and outplaying almost everyone around him. His motivation was fueled with every game and competition, and you quickly saw that Sukuna only had the expectation of being a winner and nothing else.Â
Navigating your teenage years was a bit tough for both of you.Â
It began with one sleep over just a year prior, the moment where you both recognized that things couldnât progress as casually as they used to. You woke up tangled in each otherâs arms, hyper aware of your bodies and the parts that were blooming.Â
Sukuna slept on the sofa every sleep over after that.Â
Thanks to your eruptive hormones, the both you bickered often and frequently. As you and Sukuna started understanding your own senses of selves, a hint of distance started to grow. For a long time the two of you only ever had each other, but with Sukuna now a part of the athletic group and you falling in line with your own little clique, the both of you were finding some time away from each other and identifying who you were without the other person around.Â
However, you always came back to one another, like two little magnets seeking each other out.Â
Itâs all youâve ever known since you were six.Â
One afternoon, while hanging out in the schoolâs basketball court, Sukuna turned to face you as you paced behind him while he was throwing some shots for fun.
âThey think youâre my girlfriend,â he casually stated, referencing his new set of friends who always studied you with intense curiosity.Â
Your face burned multiple degrees hotter than it should.Â
âW-what?â You stammered.Â
âYeah,â he answered nonchalantly, and you watched him dribble the basketball as the awkwardness settled. Â
âThatâsâŠthatâs weirdâŠâ was all you could think of adding on. âYou told them I am not, right?âÂ
Sukuna furrowed his brows and hummed. But he nodded his head.Â
âJust because we are friends that doesnât automatically mean that we are âboyfriend and girlfriendâ,â you insisted, using air quotes to emphasize your statement.Â
Sukuna turned so his back was to you, and tossed the ball directly into the ring.Â
âThatâs what I told themâŠâ he reassured, but something about his tone didnât sit right with you.Â
The summer that followed - Sukunaâs grandfather, mom and brother took a trip away. Sukuna declined to join since he was participating in a tournament. After his wrestling team came out victorious, he decided to throw a secret bash at his place to celebrate.Â
You were there helping him hide away all the fragile items, before staring at him in shock when he placed a few beer cans on his kitchen counter.Â
âHow did you get that?â You asked in a low whisper, afraid that you both might somehow get caught for doing something that you arenât supposed to.Â
He just gave you a cheeky grin. âDonât worry about it, PrincessâŠâÂ
That nickname stuck on you like glue. Itâs something Sukuna called you with annoyance when you were both kids, and you used to call him an angry dragon in return. Even though you stopped using that silly term, for some reason Sukunaâs pet name morphed into one of endearment and affection which he kept using.Â
âItâs just the team and a couple of girls that the guys have been trying to get withâŠâ he ensured, âThe guys wanted the beers, so I managed to sneak some from my grandfatherâs stashâŠâÂ
âAnd what if he finds out?âÂ
Sukuna laughs, âthat old man canât even remember what day it is. Iâm sure he wonât notice a few beer cans missingâŠâÂ
That night you had your first secret party, your first sip of beer and your first kiss; it was one of those core memories that lingered that was reminiscent of the adrenaline rush from living out the freedom of being young with no responsibilities. You donât remember who it was who called out the idea of playing seven minutes in heaven, but suddenly all of you were sitting in a circle spinning an empty bottle on Sukunaâs grandfatherâs worn rug. Your heart sat at your throat, your eyes fixated on the piece of twirling glass, half wondering who it would land on. You watched as couples disappeared into Sukunaâs room, everyone snickering in a circle thinking about what the potential couples could possibly be doing.Â
The boys were crude with their commentary, and the girls giggled with feign disgust.Â
Some people came out looking displeased, clearly unamused by what they experienced, while others had a look of euphoria on their faces.Â
When the bottle landed on you, the first person you found yourself seeking out was Sukuna.Â
However, the other end of the bottle wasnât pointing to him, but to one of his teammates.Â
His friendâs eyes widen with intrigue, a cute smile forming on his pouty lips.Â
Your own cheeks warmed with curiosity.Â
He helped you onto your feet, but the two of you were struck with an abrupt question that had you pausing your movements.Â
âDo you want to do this?â Sukuna pointedly asked, his focus on you alone and no one else.Â
There was a grave but serious look resting firmly on his face.Â
Something about his stare made you uncomfortable, though you couldnât place why. With the eyes of everyone else on you and his teammate, you instantly wanted to divert the intense attention elsewhere.Â
âOf course!â You said with a casual shrug, then grabbed his teammateâs hand and led him into Sukunaâs bedroom.Â
Youâve been in here countless of times, never once feeling uncomfortable in this space. But this time, you were quite aware of the state of his bed, of the slightly rumpled sheets that were tugged from edge to edge. Your mouth went dry, your body suddenly trying to recollect every movie, book and comic that explained or depicted the intimacies between two people.Â
Two hands touched your waist, spinning you on your feet.Â
âTimeâs ticking,â his friend said. âWe shouldnât waste itâŠâÂ
âIâve never done this beforeâŠâ you blurted out.Â
âI havenât eitherâŠâ he answered kindly, and that made you feel better.Â
âOkayâŠâ you said, before placing your hands awkwardly on his shoulder.Â
âLetâs just start with a kissâŠâ he suggested and then leaned forward.Â
You were frozen then, unsure of what to do. You stood there with wide eyes as you felt his lips on yours, the sensation making your belly tingle.Â
He pulled away.Â
âThat wasnât too bedâŠâ you admitted and he laughed.Â
âDo you want to try?â He asked.Â
Your first initiated kiss wasnât magical, nor was it horrendous as some of your other friends experienced. Even now when you think about it - the only memory that hits you is one of innocent exploration. It took a minute for you to get comfortable with his prodding tongue, to figure out the clash between lips and teeth, and to allow his wet muscle to access our mouth and glide over your own. The sensation reminded you of sticky, tacky popsicles that clung to your lips in summers past.Â
It was funâŠuntil a loud bang startled you both, making you split from each otherâs arms like opposing forces.Â
âTimeâs up,â Sukuna growled, before barging in without even so much as asking if you were decent like he did with the other pairs.Â
The look he gave his teammate was terrifying, even you couldnât help but gulp.Â
His friend let out a nervous giggle, scratching the back of his head as he scurried his way out. âDamn, that was fast!â He tittered nervously, his voice cracking slightly towards the end.Â
Sukuna narrowed his gaze as he watched him leave the room. Meanwhile, you both stood there facing each other, noticing his nostrils flaring as your breath rose and fell.Â
âWhat?â You questioned, returning his hard stare with an even stronger glare.Â
He huffed out a breath through his nose, âare you okay?â he asked, in an attempt to compose his clearly frazzled state.Â
âYes!â You blurted back, a little shaken. âWas that even seven minutes?âÂ
Sukuna grimaced, holding onto your eyes before he stormed out of his room, scoffing with annoyance at your response.Â
Neither of you really spoke about the awkwardness of that moment, and instead carried into the heat of that summer like nothing even happened.Â
But, what did hurt you after that, was that Sukuna never invited you to any of his âpartiesâ again.Â
He fibbed and said it was just âa team thingâ, but you eventually heard about the other attendees at the party, and only through the grapevine found out about Sukunaâs first kiss.
It felt like a betrayal in its own way, this sudden shakiness in your friendship as uncertain as tectonic plates waiting to crash into a shattering earthquake.Â
You called him one night to confront him, asking him why he wouldnât tell you about his first kiss when you both should be able to talk about everything. But that conversation just resulted in an argument, a blow out that felt like a collapse in your world.Â
You both didnât speak to each other until the end of that summer, when Sukuna finally waved the white flag by crawling to your front door late one evening with some ice cream as a peace offering.Â
âIâm sorry,â he murmured, while you both sat on the sidewalk, scooping wooden spoons into the tub of vanilla with chocolate chips.Â
Itâs the first time heâs ever apologized to you.Â
Even when you were kids, Sukuna refused to ever say he was sorry.Â
He would just pout angrily before over compensating with his sweetness to show you that he didnât mean it.Â
But not this time.Â
You licked the vanilla off the spoon, biting down on the rich chocolate chunks, and hoping that the tears wouldnât fall from your eyes from how your chest swelled at his remorse.Â
Sukuna draped an arm around your shoulder, âI hate that things have been weird between us.âÂ
âYou made them weirdâŠâ you mumbled and he just sighed.Â
ââYes,â he begrudgingly admitted, âyes, I didâŠâÂ
You turned to look up at him, and he gave you a solemn smile.Â
âIâm a little possessive of you, I realizeâŠâ he explained, his lips forming into that small frown, mirroring his childlike expression.Â
âA little?â you answered back with a snarky tone.Â
âYouâre my best friend,â he admitted, his eyes downcast with regret. âYou have always been my person.âÂ
âYouâre my person too, âkunaâŠâ you murmured, âbutâŠbut being best friends means that we have to trust each other. That we canât justâŠhurt each other. That we should stop being honest or talking to one another when things get badâŠthat we canât face things that make usâŠI donât know, feel weird and stuffâŠâÂ
He rested his chin on the top of your head, the two of you finally bridging the gap of what seemed to be the first real challenge of your friendship.Â
âIt was a shit kissâŠâ he sighed, âI was just too fucking embarrassed to tell you.âÂ
You gazed up at him from underneath your lashes.Â
âWhy?â You said with a light laugh. Â
Sukunaâs attention dipped to your mouth for a split second and back to your eyes again. âI donât know. You just seemed to have enjoyed yours in comparison. I felt like I lost a game or something. I didnât want to admit that mine was awkward and wet and justâŠnot fucking goodâŠâÂ
You laughed at that.Â
âEverything with you is a competitionâŠâÂ
âNot everythingâŠâÂ
You nudged his stomach playfully with your elbow. âDo you remember when we played Mario Kart for the first time? When you lost three rounds in a row and nearly ripped my head off?âÂ
âHow was I supposed to know you are freakishly good at that game?âÂ
You laughed, âI stay the reigning champion of rainbow road!âÂ
âYou stay a pain in my assâŠâÂ
You rolled your eyes, âa pain in your ass that will never leave you, so stop complaining about itâŠâÂ
Sukuna exhales, âIt wasâŠa bad kiss,â he admitted shyly, âShe was so damn skittish, and I think I was too. I didnâtâŠI didnât think it would be soâŠugh. It was just not the right personâŠâÂ
âOr maybe you were just nervousâŠâ you answered honestly.Â
Sukuna shook his head.Â
âNo, I know it wasnât the right personâŠâ he said with confidence.Â
You unraveled from his hold for a moment to look deep into those heated eyes.Â
âCan I say something?â he questioned, the tips of his ears turning slightly red, a blush youâve seen before but never realized how adorable it actually looked on him until this moment.Â
âAnythingâ
âI donât want you to think I am being weird or take this the wrong wayâŠâ Sukuna explained, pausing for a single breath before continuing. âI just thought the first person I wouldâve kissed would have beenâŠwell, youâŠÂ
The world went still in that moment. All you could hear was the soft rustle of the trees in the distance, and all you could see was the open vulnerability of Sukunaâs heart resting on his face.Â
Itâs incredibly rare for him to even show it, your friend guarding that part of himself with such conviction.Â
âOhâŠâÂ
âBut then I realized that youâre not supposed to be kissing your best friend,â he added on, stomping on the spark that flickered between you both before it even had a chance to even light.Â
âNo,â you agreed quickly, your eyes darting to the tub of ice cream. You pressed the back of your spoon into the creamy texture, doing your best to ignore the sudden pulse in your chest.Â
âMy second kiss was a lot better thatâs for sureâŠâ Sukuna rambled on, digging his spoon around yours as he scooped himself another serving of ice cream. âWay better actuallyâŠand on round three I think I got the hang of itâŠâÂ
You swallowed the tiny lump in your throat. âI donât need to know the gross details, please,â you implored, though your stomach rolled with a hint of nausea at the reality that heâs kissed more people than you expected.Â
You never admitted it out loud, but the confession made you a little jealous.Â
If you were an option in his headâŠwhy didnât he just ask?Â
â âč .
.Â
Sukuna lost his virginity to a freshman college student a year later when he snuck into a party with two of his former teammates. You lost yours on the night of your graduation party to the same boy you kissed for the first time. You and Sukuna were expected to attend the same university (with him obtaining a full scholarship for academic excellence), but your friend had deviated from the shared path after being scouted. The two of you commuted to see each other often, with you visiting him when he was training and him stopping by the campus whenever he had free time.Â
You and Sukuna knew about the other personâs intimate lives from the stories you shared, and despite continuously being plagued with constant accusations of being âmore than friendsâ, you both agreed never to allow that discomforting prospect to intervene with your friendship again after that terribly awkward summer.
Rather than ignore the fact that you were growing to be even more beautiful by the day, Sukuna just became extremely blunt around you. He didnât hide his eyes checking you out, noticing how your curves were starting to fill out and how you began to mature into your own features. He confidently spoke about how attractive you were, and often boosted your ego in ways that only enhanced your own confidence.Â
You enjoyed reminding him that once upon a time he thought âgirls were disgustingâ and âlooked funnyâ.Â
âLetâs not forget I am the first guy to marry you,â he joked, recalling a game you both used to play where you pretended to be characters from a fantasy realm.Â
âActually you were the first dragon to marry me,â you clarified, because Sukuna loathed the prospect of playing a prince. âI donât really think it countsâŠâÂ
âMaybe not - but all these guys fawning over you are going to find out youâre some kind of monster fucker and start running in the other directionâŠâÂ
It was safe to say that the banter between you both never changed.
You on the other hand, were recognizing just how handsome Sukuna was becoming too. Youâve seen him shirtless a million times up until this point, but something about watching the definition of muscle build into his new physique, and noticing the way manhood slowly enveloped his body, began to hit you in different ways. This was especially noticeable when you would watch him train in the ring, paying attention to the fact that Sukuna wasnât built just like any average person. It didnât even occur to you how incredibly strong he had become until he would lift or move your body around like you were weightless and not a living, breathing human with physical mass.Â
One evening, while you both were walking back to your dorm from a dinner at a cheap ramen bar, Sukuna had the audacity to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder because âyou couldnât keep up with his paceâ.Â
All of a sudden, you were acutely aware that the scrawny boy that you used to protect was now all grown up.Â
Sukuna morphed into brick and stone, while you were merely glass.Â
For some reason, it put a strain on your heart.Â
You guys really werenât kids anymore.Â
This was only solidified a year and a half into his career when Sukuna fought in his first professional tournament at twenty years old. The man dominated the ring against his opponent. He broke the record of the most knock outs and became a household name almost overnight.Â
âThe Kingâ
Time moved at double speed after that.Â
Your fingers that were clinging to bits of nostalgia werenât able to keep them from it slipping between your grasp. Things were happening in a blur, and the sudden shift in Sukunaâs world felt like a birthing black hole in your own.
The night before Sukuna was flying off on his first world tour, the two of you were cooped up in your dorm room, snuggled underneath the blanket like you used to be when you were both kids.Â
This time, it wasnât awkward.Â
You had both experienced love and lust in different ways up until that point.Â
You were comfortable with yourselves far more than you were five years ago.
âItâs going to be weird not seeing you all the time,â you whispered with a sniffle, while Sukuna traced the shell of your ear.Â
Two silver chains mirrored one another, one on your neck and the other on his. It was your parting gift to him, a reminder to keep a piece of each other around when you couldnât be together.Â
You assumed Sukuna would find it stupid, but instead he clasped the necklace around himself before doing the same for you in silent contemplation.Â
âIâll keep in touch, bratâ he soothed, but you could hear the ache in his voice too.
You circled your arms around his neck, eagerly clinging onto him as closely as you could for the little time you had.Â
âI am really proud of you though,â you spoke, your shaky breath against his collar bone, a tear rolling down your cheek as you inhaled the herby scent of his soap.Â
âIâm paying off your loans when the money really starts rolling in,â he chuckled against your temple.Â
You shook your head with disapproval. âJust buy your grandpa something nice,â you insisted. âAnd make sure to spoil YujiâŠâÂ
âThat kidâs already spoiledâŠâ
âBut heâs a sweetheart,â you emphasized, âand I know heâs probably going to miss you more than meâŠâÂ
Sukuna hummed. âI wouldnât be here without you.âÂ
You tilted your chin up as he dropped his head down, your noses merely inches apart. You relaxed the muscles on your face, your thumb reaching to smooth the crease from between his brows.Â
âGod knows what would have happened if you didnât save my sorry ass back when we were kidsâŠâ he said with an easy smile.Â
âYou would have eventually fought back,â you giggled, âbesides, you donât need me protecting you anymoreâŠâ you pointed out, your voice a little breathless, and your anxious mind running on the concern of if you might even fit into Sukunaâs new life after this.Â
He wrapped his arms around you, bringing you into the seam of his frame.Â
âI always need you,â he confessed, and those words were enough to make you break as the pain of his departure finally collided into you.Â
â âč .
Sukuna went off to having an extremely successful boxing career.Â
At twenty-two, he had turned into one of the hottest sports stars the industry has ever seen.Â
He had win after his win under his belt, and the second he partnered with Uraume it was a match made in heaven.Â
He was insanely good, and with Uraume by his side, he was now unstoppable.Â
You were provided tickets to any of his fights, accompanied with private transportation and accommodation if necessary. Sukuna always made sure that you were well take care of, and you always accepted because it was the only time you were able to actually see him. Those few days were precious together, before you had to depart and return to the real world once again. Each of Sukunaâs fights was a mesmerizing experience. There was something about his flow in the ring that managed to make everything else around him blur.Â
He was strong, but agile.Â
Brutal but swift with his movements.Â
He moved with regal precision, a dancer that understood the rhythms of strength.Â
Everyone challenged him, but all of them failed.Â
Ryomen Sukuna was a force to be reckoned with.Â
Despite the distance, you and Sukuna always made a conscious effort at keeping in touch with each other. You may not be physically there in each otherâs presence, but not a day went by without a phone call or multiple texts.
At twenty-seven, Sukuna was at the peak of his stardom. Your best friend found himself tangled between the world of fame and fortune, alongside his old life of normalcy and humble peace. He made good on his promises; setting up a trust fund to ensure that Yuji was well taken care of in every capacity. He paid off all your loans in secret because he knew you would never accept it from him upfront. He bought his grandfather a home in Osaka for him to retire to. And his peace offering to his mom was renovating their old, broken home into something new and vibrant for her to live her life happily now that she seemed to have finally settled down in her third marriage. Sukuna even offered to take care of his step brother, Choso. They may not have been personally close, but he was grateful that Choso was keeping a watchful eye on Yuji.Â
Your own life was starting to unfurl as well - you had graduated university, were experiencing your first serious relationship, navigating various friendships and landing your first job. It all felt normal compared to Sukuna, but the man never minimized your experiences.Â
When you were together, itâs like nothing had even changed, but the moment your realities bled into each other, it was a constant reminder of how just how far apart your lives actually were.Â
You were harassed by the paparazzi who constantly overstepped.Â
Sukunaâs boundaries were crossed by the people you knew because everyone wanted a moment with the star.Â
You found yourself in environments with the rich whose beauty, wealth and status seemed far out of your reach.Â
Sukuna found himself being treated more like an object than a person.Â
And yet, you both seemed to be settling down into your own versions of the life you were creating - always weaving the other person in no matter the obstacle.
At twenty-eight, Sukuna had earned more money than he could even imagine, and was still somehow only moving onwards and up. He was plastered on every magazine cover, was the the center of attention on social media by his most dedicated and loyal fans. He was stalked and obsessed over, admired and feared. Networks wanted to feature him on shows, movies and every talk show. The man was a composition of everything that people were projecting onto him.Â
He had become an untouchable to the eyes of every living mortal.Â
But to you, and just you - he would always be the little boy who was far too small for this big world.Â
After years of flings with influencers, models, and high end socialites - it seemed that Sukuna was finally settling down with one of the top actresses in the industry. The moment the two of them were caught kissing at a party, their secret was revealed to the public.Â
You, however, knew all the details of the ways in which Sukuna was slowly wooing her.Â
At this point youâve both grown tolerant of hearing about the other personâs love life. And at this time especially, you werenât affected by Sukunaâs first serious relationship because you and your boyfriend were discussing the possibility of marriage which felt close on the horizon. You had just bought your first house, and was considering the big gesture of having him move in with you. You had gotten an incredible promotion at work, and for the first time you felt a sense of stability that you had never really experienced before.Â
âWe should have dinner together!â You offered one night to Sukuna over the phone.Â
âThe four of us?â He questioned.Â
âYeah, I meanâŠyou know Sousuke really wellâŠâÂ
âYeah, and he hates meâŠâÂ
âBut I havenât met Mei yetâŠand no, Sousuke doesnât âhate youââŠâ
âI hate to break it to you, Princess. But the guy canât stand meâŠâÂ
You glanced towards your boyfriend who was sitting on the sofa, his attention on the television show he was watching. You stepped away from the living room, and quietly made your way to the bedroom.Â
ââkunaâŠâ you spoke, your throat catching, âI thinkâŠI think he might proposeâŠâÂ
âWhat?!â He exclaimed and you had to pull the phone away.Â
âJeez! Donât shout! Youâre going to make me pop an ear drum!âÂ
He groaned.Â
You sighed, âweâve been talking about itâŠand I justâŠI just really want you guys to get along is all. I just think you guys are just not seeing eye to eyeâŠâÂ
Sukuna remained oddly quiet on the phone.Â
âCan you say something?â You begged.Â
âFine,â he grumbled, âwe can do dinner at my place. The paparazzi have been hounding me trying to get any shot they can find of me and Mei. I would rather we don't go anywhere public...âÂ
You smiled, âdinner is perfect!âÂ
At first glance, the dinner seemed like a complete success.Â
The four of you chatted and enjoyed your night like you were all old friends, especially after Sousuke got over his starstruck moment when he met Mei. You and Sukuna told stories of your years together, inviting your partners to the pieces of your lives that you both shared. You could see that Sukuna was clearly attracted to Mei, and in turn he could see that you were happy with Sousuke. The night felt like a convergence without an implosion - an easy going settlement on the two roads that you and your friend had taken.Â
Thatâs why when your boyfriend called things off with you three months later, it took you completely by surprise.Â
Nothing in this world could have prepared you for that heartbreak.Â
It was a grieving period, a dark time of mourning that had you glued to your bed most days. This life that you had been carefully piecing together toppled like dominos. After breaking the news to Sukuna, you spent two weeks isolating yourself from anything and everything else.Â
Your best friend couldnât stand seeing you in this state, and showed up at your door out of the blue one evening.
You burst into tears at the sight of him.
He was there to mend your broken heart, and he never left your side. He told his team that he was taking a much needed break, and during that time made sure that you were fed and comfortable. He handled any extra chores, slept on the floor in your bedroom every night so that you werenât alone. He spent hours with you in silence while you wept, listened to you angrily vent your frustrations on how your ex could treat you this way.Â
One night, he woke up and realized that you werenât in bed. He searched for you, finding you in the kitchen staring at a small pile of bridal magazines.Â
Your clothes were rumpled, you hadnât changed or freshened up since that morning.Â
Sukuna didnât say anything, just placed two hands on your shoulders and turn you away from the painful memories.Â
You gasped and hiccuped into his chest.Â
âI couldnât sleepâŠâ you explained, âI r-remembered that I still had these, and justâŠjust wanted them goneâŠâÂ
Sukuna tenderly stroked the back of your neck. âYou know,â he said, his voice deeper than the ocean itself, the tone the texture of velvet. âI can always break his fucking legsâŠâÂ
The comment made you choke out a laugh.Â
âItâll ruin your career,â you whimpered. âItâs not worth itâŠâÂ
âFor you,â he soothed, his thumb lightly tracing the space where the base of your neck and spine connected. âItâs always worth itâÂ
â âč .
The blunder in Sukunaâs career hit early last year, when his relationship with Mei fell apart and resulted in one of the worst break ups that people have ever seen. Mei released a public, viral video that had millions of views and thousands of shares. She accused Sukuna of cheating for the entirety of their two year relationship, crying crocodile tears on camera over how she was simply another trophy that he could successfully claim while his heart always belonged to someone else.Â
That video made your blood boil.Â
You knew Sukuna wasnât perfect - but if there was one thing you would never doubt about that man it was his loyalty.Â
You saw it towards grandfather, to Yuji, to Uraume, and even yourself.Â
That man scoffed at the prospect of cheating, believing it to be a cowardice act.Â
And Sukuna was no coward.Â
Even in prior relationships, he was always clear about where he stood. If he couldnât commit to something, he made it perfectly known. You still didnât know what it was about Mei that had him finally let his walls down. But when they were together, he looked perfectly content. Every desire and every fantasy he dreamt up in his youth had finally been accomplished. But all you knew about their break up was that things werenât working out, and Sukuna wasnât willing to share more than that.Â
You were being respectful of his privacy, understanding firsthand how tough this kind of heartbreak can be.Â
He called you when the Mei's video first broke out, his voice strained.Â
âYou know itâs not true, right?â He questioned before even saying hello.Â
âRyo, of course I know that-âÂ
âIâm not a little bitch who would cheat. I would never do that. Nor am I that fucking stupid thinking I would ever get away with it-â
âI knowâŠâ you reassured, hearing the apprehension laced through his words. âRyomen, I know you. I know you better than anyone else in this world.â
He breathed a long sigh of relief. âI was just wondering if you might have been convinced otherwiseâ Â
Your stomach tightened.Â
âBut if you believe me, then I donât give a fuck about anyone else.âÂ
Something about that conversation clung onto you, it sat like a weight on your shoulders that you couldnât quite possibly shrug off. The tabloids, news outlets and social media accounts were throwing ingredients upon ingredients into the rumor pot that was bubbling and boiling over. On top of that, a new rising star had just entered the boxing world, and Sukuna was suddenly dealing with brutal comparisons to the younger, hotter talent that was Satoru Gojo.Â
You were the one who offered to take him out to dinner to get his mind off of things, not realizing just how bad it actually was for him.Â
When a gossip magazine posted the photos of you both huddled together (as you have done many times before) while having an ordinary dinner, it spun your world inside and out. Though the pictures were quite blurry, there were a few people who were able to recognize you. You were being harassed at your work, interrogated by your friends and were even being accused of being âthe other womanâ.
The worst part is was when Mei fed into the chaos, making a follow up post and stating that âa woman always knows, and is always rightâ in regards to her break up situation with Sukuna.
She may not have explicitly said it, but her fingers were pointing at you. Â
You donât know how your address got leaked, but when you started finding paparazzi stalking you in your own home it became far too much for you to handle.Â
Sukuna, on the other hand, was infuriated.Â
This whole time he was disengaged by what was going on, but once you were caught in the mix of this mess, it seemed that he was suddenly ready to cause equal destruction.Â
He sued his ex for defamation, sued multiple media outlets for harassment. He had Higuruma Hiromi, one of the top lawyers in his field, at the helm of this take down, and the second he shot back, it had everyone scurrying in retreat.Â
The tabloids, blogs and magazines all redacted the photos of you, reducing your digital footprint.Â
His ex, under pressure of Sukunaâs threats, came out with a public apology so that he would drop the charges against her and help her avoid her own PR nightmare.Â
The rest of Sukunaâs anger was taken out on the ring, with people seeing another side of what The King could unleash.Â
His match against Hajime Kashimo was one of the bloodiest in boxing history, his opponent left crimson and defeated despite seemingly holding a strong front in the beginning.Â
They dubbed him: âThe Monster of The Ringâ after that.Â
The damage was already done, and the stress of it all was starting to hurt Sukunaâs focus. When he nearly got disqualified in a match, that is when Uraume intervened, and felt it was necessary to include you in the discussion.Â
Youâve always had a complicated relationship with Uraume. They respected you, but you know itâs only because of your mutual relationship with Sukuna. Uraume, however, has made snide remarks towards you when you were both alone - about how you were merely a distraction when dangled in front of his championâs eyes.
âI think some time apart would do you both good,â they said. âThey are never going to stop hounding you because they think there is something more going on, and besidesâŠwe canât have Sukuna fucking up with Gojo now in the mix. We need to show the world that heâs still as strong and as relevant as everâŠâÂ
âItâll die down,â Sukuna stated with frustration.Â
The both of them bickered over it. It was the first time you have ever witnessed them in a heated exchanged. Your heart started to hurt because you were aware how all of this was only making your best friend see in shades of red.Â
He wasnât himself.Â
He wasnât thinking clearly.Â
This was impacting him. Â
You getting involved in this was impacting him.Â
âRyomen,â you said seriously, placing your hand over his. âI think Uraume is rightâŠâÂ
The man turned to you, his fingers lacing between your own subconsciously as he squeezed it tightly in disbelief.Â
It was the first time youâve ever seen him hurt.Â
âItâs just a short time apart,â you said with a comforting smile, âonce everyone gets bored we can resume our lives in peace. But right now, I can see this taking a toll on youâŠâÂ
He furrowed the front of his brows.Â
âUraume is looking out for you, and I think what they are saying makes sense. Donât you?âÂ
âNo, I fucking donâtâŠâ he snapped, his eyes glaring at his manager who remained stoic as ever.Â
âDonât let your emotions get the better of you,â they remarked, âI know a part of you agrees with what I have to say.âÂ
âYouâre not in the right state of mind, and you need to beâÂ
âItâs for your own good,â Uraume insisted. "You are gambling with your career. With your legacy"
The decision was mutual but entirely heartbreaking all the same. Sukuna drew the circus away, and it broke you when you realized that in order to protect you, he had to sacrifice something in return.Â
The comfort of your friendship, the sanctuary of your company.
It was the price of fame, and one that he was willing to keep paying.Â
As a result of this tough decision, Sukuna had grown cold. Not because he was being mean or cruel, but because he thought he was offering you some peace of mind. Because he thought that by withdrawing from you, it would make the pain of the separation easier. He wanted this distance to be a clean break for the both of you, and while he honored keeping in touch, it was just at the bare minimum because his calls and texts were few and far between.Â
The most you saw of him was on a screen, and you could see that Sukuna was miserable.Â
He was turning into something vicious in the ring, a violent machine that people glorified. He wasnât moving with the fluidity of an artist that you used to admire when you first started watching him fight. There was a sense of brutality that was now a part of his make up.Â
Sukuna was no longer a man, he was a beast.Â
His persona was dwindling into only intimidation. Every interview, every guest appearance, and every social occasion was met with detachments or disinterest. He was growing snarky and irritable, no longer willing to charm the people around him.Â
Satoru Gojo was the first to shoot at Sukuna with his words, dredging up his painful break up and even dragging you back into the fold with his commentary. The two of them grew to have a very intense rivalry. They exchanged heated arguments on social media, smack talked the other person in live interviews and had tense interactions in public.Â
The press and the people were eating up every single second of it.
On the eve of his thirty-first birthday, you received a call from Uraume.Â
âWe are back in the city,â they said, âSukuna needs to start training up for his match against Satoru Gojo.âÂ
You swallowed the uncomfortable lump in your throat.Â
âWhy didnât he tell me he was back?â You asked softly.Â
Uraume sighed, âI donât have to tell you that heâs been in a fowl mood. The agency is throwing a huge birthday party for him tonight which he is refusing to attendâŠâÂ
âSo, why are you calling me?âÂ
âBecauseâŠâ Uraume sighed, âheâs about to fly to close to the sun, and I can see he needs an anchor to bring him down to Earth a little bitâŠâÂ
Your cheeks burned at the statement. âAre you saying I am his anchor?âÂ
âI am saying itâs been almost a year since he last saw youâŠâ Uraume explained, âAnd I donât want him feeling awful on his birthday. I care about him too, you know?âÂ
You nodded your head, âNo, of course. I know that.âÂ
âI told him that I would stop by to pick him up for the party, but I think giving him a nice surprise might do him so good. Remind the guy to enjoy himself a littleâŠâÂ
âYouâre sweet,â you said with a smile.Â
âAs are you, my dear,â Uraume replied tenderly.Â
âMy, my, are you actually giving me a compliment?âÂ
âDonât let it get to your head,â they remarked playfully, and you felt a hint of ease realizing that things might not be as cold between you both as you thought.Â
That Uraume was really only ever considering Sukuna's well being first, just like you.
â âč .
Uraume made sure that you got to Sukunaâs place in one piece and without anyone knowing that you were even there. You clasped your best friend's present between your fingers, your exposed body shivering from the cold air as you rode the elevator up to his penthouse apartment.
It felt right to dress up; you wore a white mini dress with a mesh overlay that had little embroidered detailing on the fabric. There were cut outs in the back, with an adjustable strap from behind cinching the bodice perfectly to your shape. Your kitten heels clicked against the floor, the nerves suddenly tingling their way up your legs as you thought about what Sukunaâs reaction might even be.Â
This year felt like a century in the timeline of your friendship.Â
You knocked on his door gently, tucking your bottom lip between your teeth.Â
You could hear the trudge of footsteps from behind the frame, Sukunaâs voice bellowing as he spoke.Â
âUraume, for the last fucking time, I told you I am not going, and if you force it I will fire you on the spot-âÂ
He swung the door open and froze.Â
âSurprise!â You squeaked lightly, awkwardly lifting the gift in your hands. âI got you a present!âÂ
Sukuna blinked once and then twice, his lips parting as if heâs seen a ghost.Â
âUraume asked me to come,â you explained. âThey told me that you guys were backâŠâÂ
He stood there dumbfounded, for once rendered completely speechless.Â
âT-they wanted you to have fun on your birthday,â you added on with an apprehensive grin, âthey actually suggested maybe a quiet night in and thought you might just want to spend it with an old friend instead of a bunch of people you probably donât even likeâŠâÂ
Sukunaâs eyes narrowed, his mouth pressing into a firm line.Â
He lookedâŠupset.Â
Was he not happy to see you?Â
âUhm,â you mumbled, your fingers toying with the ribbon at the odd dismissal and lack of enthusiasm, âI-I donât have to stay, but I did just want to wish you a happy birthdayâŠâÂ
You took a small step forward, holding the present up as an offering. âHappy birthday, âKunaâŠâ you said with a quiet warble in your voice and feeling like a complete idiot for showing up. The disappointment of his response sat heavily on your chest.
He lifted his hand, gripping the present as he plucked it out of your grasp. You cleared your throat, anxiously scratching the back of your ear as you lifted up the strap of your dress which fell on your right shoulder.Â
âIâll justâŠâ you added on in defeat, gesturing behind you to indicate that you were leaving.Â
You didnât even notice his arm sling behind your waist when your eyes fell downcast.Â
Suddenly you were pulled over the threshold, the door closing behind you in a bang before your back was pressed up against the wooden frame. Your gaze lifted up to Sukuna, your pupils widening when you you were met with his menacing stare.Â
âYou know,â you said with a gulp, hoping to the ease the tension as you tried to catch your breath. âYou really do look like a dragon when you scowl like thatâŠâÂ
âAre you stupid?â He spat with irritation. âWhat if someone saw you come over? We just got the press off our backsâŠâÂ
Your pulse hit the base of your throat. âUraume ensured that no one was aroundâŠâÂ
âI thought we agreed to take time apartâŠâ he argued, ignoring your words. âYou agreed.âÂ
âYouâre mad...â You pointed out, the tip of your nose wincing as you pursed your lips.Â
âIâm not mad, Iâm furiousâŠâ he said with irritation. âIâm trying to keep you out of this fucking chaos and you just waltz in, in this sorry excuse of a dress, like everything is perfectly fine?!âÂ
You looked down at your outfit, and folded your arms over your chest.Â
âIâŠâ you spoke, your voice trailing off as your shoulders slumped.Â
You didnât even know if you should apologize. You didnât do anything wrong and this wasnât even your idea to begin with. Youâve also never seen Sukuna speak to you this way before, and your confidence bubbled when you recognized that this...wasnât him.Â
You straightened your back, tilting your chin up to face him with defiance.Â
Youâre the only person in the world who willingly challenges him.Â
You donât even have to raise a fist to watch him break.Â
He was pushing you away, the same way he did when you found him on the ground of that kindergarten because thatâs what Sukuna does when heâs hurting the most.Â
âGod, youâre just as miserable as lookâŠâ you pointed out with a quirk of your brow.Â
His jaw twitched.Â
âI donât give a shit who catches me here,â you boldly claimed, âI miss my best friendâŠâ you added before shoving his shoulder, âand you, you asshole, have no excuse for not telling me that you are back home. Just because I agreed to us spending some time apart, that doesnât mean you get to just...cut me off like that. To not call me, to barely answer my texts, and to just push me away like I donât matter to youâŠâÂ
Sukuna winced, taking a step closer to seal the gap of space between you both. He brought his head lower, dipping his forehead to press against your own. Your spine seized in that moment, your lips parting feeling the heat of his breath on your skin.Â
You were expecting a rebuttal, but thisâŠthis wasnât what you thought would happen.Â
âYou are a pain in my assâŠâ he whispered, closing his eyes as he circled his free arm around your waist, âand the only thing that matters to meâŠâÂ
He nudged his face closer, so close you swore to yourself that he might kiss you, before tracking his lips along your jaw and cradling his forehead in the crook of your neck instead.Â
Your right hand moved him to touch his shoulder, your face contorting with a hint of concern.Â
You felt it then, something wet on your skin where his forehead lay, and you took in a sharp breath as Sukuna tightened his arm around your waist.Â
âYou shouldnât have comeâŠâ he took a deep inhale against your neck, smelling your skin before clearing his throat from any shakiness.Â
âYou said that alreadyâŠâ you grumbled unamused.Â
âStubborn woman, you never listen...â he breathed in once more, âGod, I fucking missed you.âÂ
â âč .
Sukuna opened his present once everything was settled, and once he finally embraced the reunion without questioning any other factors. He laughed at your little DIY stress kit that you put together for him. You both ordered in pizza, sitting on opposite sides of the sofa with the open cardboard box between you. You talked, and talked, and talked into the late hours of the night. Until there were only crumbs on the bottom of the box which Sukuna placed on the coffee table. The bottle of champagne that you have both been nursing was nearly empty.Â
Drunk on each other, with a belly full of food and simplistic joy settling in. Sukuna leaned against the arm rest, sprawling his long legs and patting his thigh sweetly.Â
âCâmereâŠâÂ
Your heart hammered, and you bit the rim of your champagne glass before obliging.Â
You stood up, swaying a little and watching his hungry eyes blatantly check you out as you sat on his lap. Sukuna adjusted his position, before dropping his palm on your thigh, his touch stroking up and down your skin.Â
âWhatâs going on with you?â You inquired, placing your elbow on his shoulder as you rested your warm cheek against your palm.Â
You were looking at him with concern, noticing his face sink.Â
He rubbed one hand over the exhausted expression, an intoxicated blush painting his cheeks.Â
âThe press are worse than ever. After Mei, itâs beenâŠrelentless. The stories they are coming up with, the things that they are saying about me. I went from being on top of the world to being the guy everyone loves to fucking hate. And with every fight I go into, people are just waiting for me to wash up. The cherry on top of this whole fucking thing is Satoru Gojo, who wonât stop running his fucking mouth. I want cut the little shit in halfâŠâÂ
You smiled, not to be condescending, but out of gratitude that you both easily slipped back into the shell of your own comfort. âRyomen, heâs twenty-one years old. Do you not remember how you were at that age?âÂ
He rolled his eyes. âI had more class than he didâŠâÂ
âBut you were aggressive,â you reminded, âYou werenât afraid to tear down the legends that predated you.âÂ
âSo, what are you saying?âÂ
âIâm saying that maybe Satoru drew inspiration from somewhereâŠâÂ
You placed the champagne glass on his chest, your fingers holding the stem as you swirled the liquid around gently. The silence hung in the air because Sukuna knew you were right, but there were other lingering questions pressing you at the same time. And thanks to the alcohol, you had all the courage you needed to ask.
âWhat happened with Mei?â You wondered, shifting your gaze to meet his.Â
Sukunaâs index finger tapped up and down your thigh in contemplation.Â
He closed his eyes and shook his head before swallowing the lump in his throat. âNothing.âÂ
You quirked your brow again, taking a swig of your champagne.Â
Sukuna used his free hands to wrap around your own, and he pulled the glass away from you to take a sip himself.Â
âWhy wonât you tell me?âÂ
He chugged the rest of your drink, and placed it on the ground beside him.Â
âRyomenâŠâÂ
âDonât push me, bratâŠâÂ
âBut why not?â You wondered, âI justâŠit just seemed like you both were so happy and then all of a suddenâŠâÂ
He dropped his head back against the arm rest and stared up at the ceiling. From underneath his black shirt you saw the silver chain poking through.Â
Your heart tightened.Â
You drew one hand on the locket, your finger curling underneath as your thumb tracked over the texture of the necklace.Â
âYouâre still wearing itâŠâ you mumbled.Â
Sukuna faced you. âI never take it off. Only when I have to get in the ringâŠâ His eyes shifted to your exposed, naked neck, and you mindlessly reached for the silver chain that you were currently not wearing.Â
âI donât wear it on certain occasionsâŠâ you explained guiltily, âonly because I am afraid that I might lose it.âÂ
âPlus, it wouldnât go with this dress...â Sukuna nonchalantly added on and you laughed at his comment.Â
He sighed in defeat. âThe necklace was a small reason,â he opened up. âMei hated that I wore it all the time. She would badger me about taking it off. The time I spent with you after Sousuke didnât helpâŠâ he added, treading the delicate topic with as much sensitivity as he could, âshe accused me for cheating. I told her she needed to back off because you and I had a history that predates her. I told her that if the roles were reversed, you would be there for me because you have always been there for meâŠâÂ
Your body froze.Â
âShe would pick fights with me over everything about you. Finally I had enough, and told her she needed to fucking trust me if this was going to work. But things never went back to the way they used to. It was always up and down with Mei. Finally, when she had enough, she told me that I had a choice to make. Either I cut you off for us to happily together. OrâŠshe leavesâŠâÂ
You sat up, staring at him with wide eyes and shock. Â
âIâmâŠâ you gasped, âIâm the reason why you both broke up?âÂ
The guilt struck you harder than you expected, and you looked down at Sukunaâs torso shamefully as you recalled the state of yourself post-break up, thinking of all the moments where you might have potentially stolen precious time away from his former lover.Â
âRyomen, I am soâŠI am so sorryâŠâÂ
Two fingers brushed underneath your chin, and Sukuna lifted your head so you could see him.Â
âI picked you,â he confessed, âI picked you.âÂ
âBut-âÂ
âThere is no âbutâ,â he said with a shake of his. âWeâve been in each otherâs lives for over two decades. You are my person. You are my family. YouâŠâ, he sighed, âyou didnât deserve what happened afterwards...â
His hands trailed up until his digits caught the hem of your dress.Â
âIâm keeping my distance to protect you..."
âBut you loved her,â you gasped, âI saw it. I saw you both. I wouldâveâŠI wouldâve stepped aside. If I was causing any issues, I wouldâveâŠrespected your boundaries. I love you, Ryomen. I just want you to be happy, and if that means that I take a step back-âÂ
âI did love her,â Sukuna interjected, the heat of gaze flicking upward, the rims slightly red from the alcohol he consumed. âBut I love you moreâŠâÂ
He drew all the air out of your lungs with the slip of his tongue, making you perch yourself up so you were actually looking directly at him. His pupils were dilated, widening as if to give you access to the depths of his soul. In all your years youâve known him, you donât think the two of you ever actually exchanged those words. It was always veiled with âI care for you,â, âI adore you,â âYouâre my person,â and âthis is why we are best friends.âÂ
But loveâŠÂ
That felt forbidden to say out loud, even though you both knew that the root of your friendship was only built on love, it shouldn't have come as such a shock to you for the confession to slip so naturally.
You gaze longingly into each otherâs eyes, in a way that you havenât since you were both sixteen years old.Â
WonderingâŠ
ConsideringâŠ
âI donâtâŠâ you said quietly, sitting upright as he shifted beneath you.Â
You wound up straddling him, both your hands resting on his shoulders while his own continued to tease the hem of your dress.Â
âI donât know what to sayâŠâ you exhaled.Â
Sukuna pinched the fabric between his thumb and index finger, allowing the silence to hang for a few minutes before switching the subject.Â
âDid you dress up for me?â He joked, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his devilish mouth. He slid one hand underneath your dress, making you gasp as his touch moved dangerously high up your thigh.Â
âWanted to look cute,â you murmured, your words lacing tightly together as the champagne danced across your tongue. You felt a pulse radiate between your legs, and you unknowingly clenched much to Sukunaâs amusement. Â
âCute for me?â He coaxed.Â
âCute in general,â you remarked.Â
His other hand sprawled across your back, and you knew he was testing his boundaries.
âRyomenâŠâ you warned, but it only made him break out into a full grin. His irises were drowning in lust and inebriation, and your own were falling in suit.Â
The hand on your hip dragged up further, until his fingers brushed over the string of your underwear. You scratched your nails down his chest, feeling your back arch into his palm as you mindlessly rolled your hips.
His lips moved to your ear, that mellifluous voice dangerously close. âLetâs play a gameâŠâÂ
He squeezed the fat of your hip, his weight lifting you up and the entire room spun as he pinned you underneath him when he switched your positions. He locked you against the plush sofa with his thighs, a throaty laugh coming through from your sudden squeak of surprise.Â
âLetâs see you try to get out of this one, Princess...â He teased, his teeth nipping at the side of your throat. âOr youâll end up being my dinnerâŠâÂ
Your body vibrated from the sensation of his touch. You gripped his jaw firmly and pulled his face towards you, your brows furrowing at the proclamation of a challenge.Â
âItâs not fair to go against a boxing champion,â you argued, your spine curving as Sukuna slipped his other thigh between your legs.Â
He dropped his head to the base of your throat, his teeth catching the sensitive spot just above your collar bone, âdonât worry,â he soothed over the gentle bite, âIâll play fairâŠâ
âDonât patronize me,â you grumbled through gritted teeth.Â
âYouâre fault for waltzing into the dragonâs lairâŠâ he alerted, quoting the very same line he used to when you would both play this silly fantasy game together.Â
But youâre not wielding plastic swords and entering into the enemies domain with a sense of courage. Now, it felt like playing with fire. Your skin was burning at the contact, at Sukunaâs weight over your throbbing body. When he nibbled on your neck again, your hand gripped onto the back of his head, tugging his hair a little roughly as you pulled him away.Â
Sukuna purred.Â
âYouâve never been able to beat meâŠâ you teased, giving into the world of make believe just one more time but speaking the truth regarding this fact. âIâve always been your biggest challengeâŠâÂ
âWatch me win tonight,â he pushed with confidence, reaching for your wrist and pinning it above your head.Â
âAnd what are the rules here exactly?â You quipped, your tongue tingling and your body buzzing with excitement and curiosity. âAm I supposed to kill the dragon and win back my castle?âÂ
Sukuna laughed, his eyes darkening as he pressed his forehead to yours once more.Â
âNo need to draw any swords. Letâs play a game of submissionâŠâ he boldly claimed, and your attention flickered to find his brazen smile burning even brighter on his face. âFirst person to cum losesâÂ
âAre you making a move on me?â You light heartedly disputed.Â
âNot at all,â Sukuna maintained, but you can tell from his tone that heâs veiling the truth.
There was something hard pressing up against you, and you had a feeling it was a nudge for some relief.Â
âItâs the dress isnât it?â you giggle.
âIf you even call it a dressâŠâÂ
âCanât handle a little skin?âÂ
âI donât want to shock you by telling you got me half hard just showing up,â he confessed, something unfolding in your drunken stupor.Â
âI can feel youâŠâ you sighed, and the man hummed as he molded his body into you.
You felt him twitch, and it made your thighs tremble.Â
âWe had too much champagne,â you informed.Â
âThat we didâÂ
âWe should probably stopâŠâ you exhaled, your lashes fluttering when you felt his thigh flex against your cunt.Â
âDo you want to?â Sukuna asks, his voice growing serious. His hand on your hip tugs at the string of your underwear, and he releases it with a snap as it pinches back against your skin.Â
You licked your lips, your brain too fuzzy to contradict what your heart wanted. âYou know I will never back down from a challenge with youâŠâÂ
âThat's what I like about you,â Sukuna adoringly praises.Â
âAnd we both know youâre going to lose, right?âÂ
Your throat shrinks, Sukunaâs hand gliding over your pubis to press the drenched spot against your underwear.Â
âDonât underestimate me, Princess,â he advices ominously, âweâve never played a game like this before.âÂ
â âč .
Clothes had to stay on - that was the rule you both agreed with.Â
To keep things fair.Â
To keep itâŠplayful.Â
Your nipples pebbled, poking hard against the fabric of your dress as Sukuna sucked on the skin of your neck. You knew for a fact that he was leaving a mark there, and all you could do was bite back as his mouth trailed down the column and over the slope of your breast. You whimpered when he tugged at your clothed nipple with with his teeth, making the muscles in your leg seize from the sudden contact.Â
You had to do something, and so you reached your hand between your legs to lightly graze over his erection pressing against his sweats.Â
Sukuna groaned, and you sniggered at the reaction.Â
You lifted your head and neck, bringing your mouth to his own ear.Â
âYou know,â you seductively stated, your fingers outlining the length of his hard member. âThe first time I ever touched myself was after watching you practice in the ringâŠâÂ
Sukuna cursed under his breath, your fingers squeezed around his length. You proceeded to stroke the heat of his member, striking hard for your first blow. âAnd I always do whenever I watch you fight. I get so hot and bothered seeing you in the ring. I even have a a specific vibrator I useâŠI named it after youâŠâÂ
âFucking hell,â he hissed when you snuck your hand underneath his waistband, bringing your touch even closer as you palmed him over his boxers.Â
âIâve never told you that secretâŠâ you declared, bringing your own teeth to his earlobe which you tugged mercilessly.Â
Sukuna lost himself for a moment, making you think this was going to be an easy win. But you heard him steady his breathing, could his muscles flexing as if to tame his own body back from giving in. Â
âI heard you onceâŠâ he stammered suddenly, closing his eyes as he recollected his memories. âBack when you were living in the dorm. I came over to drop off something, and youâŠugh, fuck-âŠyou were in the bathroomâŠmoaning. I thought you were in pain at first, until I realizedâŠâÂ
Your own cheeks burned at his confession, the surprise making you ease your grip.Â
Sukuna grabbed your wrist then and pulled you away from his crotch. He placed it on your breast, and you absentmindedly pinched your nipple as he slid his hand between your legs. He lowered himself down, slithering underneath you and making your ears sting with vexation. He pushed your dress over your thighs, exposing your light colored underwear. The noticeable wet patch made his eyes glitter with satisfaction.Â
âI would have jacked off on the spot, but I left. I was clearly intruding on a private matter, but that didnât stop me from blowing a load the second I made it to my place,â he carries on, bringing his nose and pressing it against your slit. âSo fucking sweetâŠâÂ
You tried to push his head away, and in response he dragged his tongue over the moist patch on your underwear.Â
âOh my god,â you moaned, your hips bucking from the sensation.Â
âYouâre the first person I think of when I touch myself,â he revealed, humming as his tongue lewdly licked over your underwear.Â
Your whole lower belly tingled, your arousal only slicking the fabric.Â
You needed to distract him from carrying on, but Sukuna hooked two fingers underneath your underwear and tugged them to the side.Â
You sat up on your forearms, pressing your thighs against his cheeks to stop him from diving in.Â
âDonât cheat,â you sternly addressed, but Sukuna only scoffed vindictively.Â
âYouâre still wearing them, PrincessâŠâ he pointed out, and the loophole made your core pulse with anticipation. âThis isnât cheatingâŠâÂ
With your panties tugged aside, Sukuna used two fingers to spread the lips apart.Â
He was staring at your pussy, studying it like it was the first one heâs ever looked at.Â
You wanted to say something, to ask what he was doing. But to your surprise he just placed a gentle kiss on your clit before murmuring sweetly into your sex. âYouâre beautiful,â Sukuna complimented, as if expressing a blessing before a meal then finally dragging his wet tongue up along the slit of your exposed pussy.Â
âYouâre ch-cheatingâŠâ was all you could think of blubbering out in the haze of lust, feeling the vibration of his laugh as he slung one of your legs over his shoulder.Â
It hits you then - the fact that this man indulges in going down on women. Though he never explicitly shared all the lewd details with his past partners, he did mention how it was âhis favorite thing to doâ. After all these years, you finally get to experience it for yourself. Feel how he latches onto your pussy as your arousal drips like heâs pouring honey out of the jar and slurping the sticky, creamy essence. You whine when he prods his tongue between your folds, expertly sliding the muscle as he rolls it in gentle waves to stir a budding orgasm. Your fingers intertwine around his locks, reading to yank him off until he slurps and sucks in just the right spot that has you simply massaging his scalp instead.Â
ââŠâkuna~âŠâ you mewl, your nails dragging over his scalp.Â
The man circles his mouth over your tender clit, sucking on the bud before pressing another kiss on the nub.Â
Your pussy throbs when he pulls away, but you were proud for holding back.Â
It was your opportunity to distract him, and you shrugged off one of your straps to pull down your dress to expose your left breast. Sukunaâs attention flickered upward, watching you tweak at the hard nub as you gave him a shy grin.Â
âThe felt really good,â you breathily whined.Â
He began crawling his way back up, and you used this opportunity to lift your body upright. He was distracted, wasn't even thinking about you finding a way out of this position. His lips instantly latched onto your nipple, his hands gripping the fat of your ass as he sucked on the point feverishly.Â
You licked your lips, doing everything in your power not to fall back into the black hole of his gripping dominance.
When he released you, you instantly pushed his back against the couch and climbed on top of him so you were safely straddling him again. You forcefully dragged your wet cunt over his erection, leaving a little trail of you to stain the fabric of his pants. Sukuna grunted with pleasure, bucking his hips as you ground yours.Â
âYouâre not as sharp with me,â you giggled, languidly gliding your cunt over his begging member.Â
âBecause youâre fucking distracting,â Sukuna grieves, his hands clenching into tight balls by his side as he refuses to grab onto your ass and push for more friction.Â
You felt him sink, using his shoulders as leverage to keep you perched in just the right position so your pussy was rubbing over his cock. You bit back a sound of pleasure from leaving you, and instead exhale softly as you continue rocking back and forth.Â
âYouâre big everywhere arenât you,â you tantalized, noting the way his jaw tense as a rumble erupted from his chest in a deep groan which morphed into a slightly sinister laugh.Â
âLet me show you.âÂ
He lifted his hips, making you pause at the sudden awkward shift. He pushed his sweat pants down just to meet the end of his boxers. The removal of the first layer was a small relief, but your eyes widened as he settled back down. His erection was tenting, pressing up against the thin black material and making you see a clear distinction of his balls and thick shaft.Â
âGo on then,â he tempted.Â
Your could feel yourself getting wet. The tightness in your belly only contracting further.Â
You stared him down, knowing full well that he was manipulating you at that very moment.Â
âWhy stop there?â You rebutted.Â
You helped pulled out the weight of his heavy cock from the restraint, watching his length smack against his lower belly as the tip dribbled with cum. Sukuna moaned when your thumb pressed against the slit, your touch dragging back and forth as you aligned yourself.Â
The sounds of your panting breaths were far too loud in this quiet room. You hesitated for a minute before lowering yourself, pressing the fat tip at your entrance. You gulped down air from the stretch alone, your arousal enough lubricant for your take him. You sank, your attention on Sukunaâs whose eyes were honed in on the point of contact of your sexes.Â
When your pelvis finally kiss his own, when your bodies were merged into one, you felt two hands seek your waist as you trembled in his arms.Â
Your dress had fallen back over, covering him buried inside you. You were looking up at him now as his chest rose to press yours.
A puzzle piece finally connecting.Â
He twitched inside you, and you clenched around his length, but neither of you moved. You forgot, for a moment, that this was just a game. That the two of you were probably going to wake up tomorrow morning not being able to face the other person. Your heart was racing, your body begging for movement but you couldnât snap yourself out of the bold decision you already made.Â
Sukuna was looking deep into our eyes, the sparkle behind his own irises making you think of embers on winter night.Â
His hands slipped up your waist, over the curves of your breast and up on the length of your neck. He held your head between his palms, the tips of his thumbs lightly caressing your cheeks, with his fingers to the back of your neck. He tilted his head down slightly, his nose brushing against the bridge of yours and he did something that caught you entirely off guard.Â
His lips were warm on yours, the kiss the softest gesture youâve ever experienced from him. He held a firm kiss at first, long enough until you were crumbling apart. You parted your mouth, granting him entrance and he swiped his tongue to lick the inside. He was tracing your own, his wet and wanting mouth only growing more hungry as you eagerly accepted his kiss. Your heart hammered heavily in your chest, and goosebumps peaked all over your skin when you felt his thumbs gently caress the soft skin of your cheeks.Â
Youâve never been kissed like this before. Never felt bursts of light erupt from behind your eyelids or your stomach explode with fireworks. This always just fun foreplay for you, but nothing that would make you quiver in heat. You almost came on the spot from this one little act that youâve imagined since you were sixteen, the one which you thought would never occur because of an unspoken rule on boundaries. But it was finally happening, and it was far too magical for you to even comprehend.Â
He swallowed your moan, tasted how sweet your desire actually was. The kiss was getting heated, your walls tightening around his cock His lips wrapped around your tongue. He sucked on it, before sliding his own back over yours.Â
You felt so weak; were reminded that you truly were just a fragile thing in his arms and nothing more.Â
He pulled away, a string of saliva sticking from his lips to yours but you shook your head as you circled your hands around his wrists.Â
âMore,â you cried desperately without thinking.Â
Sukuna smiled against your mouth and obliged.Â
You donât know how long you both sat there making out. But every time he tried to pull you away you sighed âagain,â, or moaned âdonât stopâ. You didnât even consider kissing to be an option on the table, but the more you were getting turned on the further your guard went down. Your hips started to bounce lightly, your pussy so bothered that it wanted some relief. You started fucking yourself over his length, your mouth battling with lips, teeth and tongue in a very heated stand off. Sukuna relaxed his body against the sofa, noticing you melt over him like you were wax. Your hips were moving up and down, your tongue languidly rolling around his mouth. You could feel Sukuna moving with you, bucking his hips in return. His jerks were growing sharper, his hands dropping back down to your hips to keep you in place. Your foreheads were touching, lips parting, panting heavily as you climbed and higher. The two of you were lost in the moment, forgetting everything else that led up to this.Â
You were going to lose this one, you thought, and you didnât even care.Â
Your head was spinning, your heart bursting, and you reached to hold his jaw in your hand out of desperation, hoping that by clinging to him it meant that you wouldnât disappear into the haze of it all. Entirely overwhelmed by the feeling, by this particular connection, your eyes started to water, with tears falling as your nose grew stuffy.Â
âRyomen~â you begged, your dulcet voice full of affection. The tip of his cock hit your sweetest spot and at that point you knew you were done for.Â
But Sukuna jerked his hips, the groan that ripped out of him made your belly spasm. He pulled out fast, shooting his cum all over you. Your orgasm collapsed into you just seconds after, and the two of you were shaking against one another as you tried to reorient yourselves to the present.Â
You were a mess, and so was he.Â
Two hands found your thighs as your torso collided into his. You placed one hand on the base of his neck, and rested your cheek against the crook. Â
âYou lost,â you joked with a sniffle, because you were unsure what to say, and because you realized you had just fucked your best friend and had no idea what that meant.Â
Sukuna just grinned, flashing you a knowing smile and a devilish smirk.Â
He perched your chin under his fingers, tapping the end sweetly.Â
âDoesnât feel like I did,â he breathed, and your eyes glittered once more.Â
You arched up to kiss his cheek, âI didnât know a dragon could kiss this wellâŠâÂ
Sukuna chuckled, bumping the tip of his nose to yours affectionately as he tilted his head down. âIâve had time to practice.âÂ
You sighed into another kiss, âWhat did we do, Ryomen?âÂ
âSomething we should have done a long time agoâŠâ he responded in between.Â
âYou love meâŠâ you breathed.Â
âAnd youâre surprised?â He interrupted with another kiss.Â
âI donât know what that meansâŠâÂ
He nipped at your bottom lip. âIt means what it means. I love you. Fuck, enough that I nearly fucking came inside you without thinking. You havenât been around and I feel like I've lost my goddamn mind in just a yearâŠâÂ
Your nails dragged down his chest your heart leaping its way up your throat.Â
âI love you too,â you revealed. âI love you, Ryomen. And I missed you too."
You both fell asleep on the sofa, waking up the next morning and replaying the events of your drunken stupor. After you both cleaned up and showered, you had a serious conversation over two cups of coffee. Though, you arenât quite sure how "serious" it was, considering that Sukuna had you sitting on his lip while you were gently stroking his hair.
He revealed that the reason why he didnât tell you about his return was also partially due to the fact that he was leaving that very night to hop on plane and fly halfway across the world. He couldn't bring himself to see you for only a short stint when he knew he needed far more time together after everything.
âUraume is right,â he bitterly admitted, âYou are a big distraction for me right now, and I have to be in the right headspace for this fight with GojoâÂ
âYou sound worried,â you pointed out with a furrow of your brows, your hands dragging back his locks as you threaded your digits between the strands to push his hair back from his forehead.
âIf he beats me then I am done,â Sukuna blurted, âwhat I have built will diminish into nothing. I canât lose to him. Itâll cost me my careerâŠâÂ
Disappointment wrapped its arms around you just as Sukuna loosened his own grip. But you could hear the hint of tiny, tiny fear behind his words was enough to you feel hollow. Sukuna has never felt threatened, but this was a serious fight for him. Heâs worked so hard for all of this, and he was not willing to give it up to some punk who just shot into the scene.Â
âWhy donât we revisit this after the fight then?â You offered.
He glanced at you.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean..." you exhaled, "what if maybe we just need to wait a little longer before we allow ourselves to have this..."
Sukuna paused for a moment. âYouâd wait for me?â He asked.Â
A smile ticks at the corner of your mouth. âYes, because you always come back to meâÂ
âThat I doâ he responds
You brush your fingers under his chin, tilting it upward once more to receive another kiss. âIâll wait for you,â you ensure. "Because I'll always come back to you too."
â âč .
One hand slides into the front pocket of your denim skirt, and Sukuna rests his chin on top of your head. You smile to yourself, though he canât see it, because heâs busy watching you slice bits of fruit as you place it into one of his ceramic bowls. When you were kids, Sukuna would have to look around your arm whenever he hugged you from behind. The years show the evolution of this gesture, from him suddenly perching over your shoulder until he could simply see over your crown.Â
He sighs, his other arm curling over your belly as he embraces you.Â
âDonât add the blueberries,â he mumbles.Â
You oblige, your back leaning into the breadth of his chest.Â
The two of you havenât touched one another since that faithful night.Â
Up until the fight, you and Sukuna simply returned back to the way things used to be. Except this time there were little alterations in your day to day conversations that indicated a shift.Â
For one, Sukuna was a flirt.Â
You were use to this commentary, but now that your friendship has taken a turn you find your cheeks growing heated more often around him because his words weren't gray. What he says toward you, and the way he compliments you rings very, very true. Â There is also a deep tenderness for one another that you both are finally allowing to express freely. You don't dull your affection, and instead allow it to overflow. And last of all, the longing to be back together was pathetically obvious.Â
You placed the strawberries, sliced peaches and peeled oranges into the bowl, your fingers a little tacky. âI need to wash my hands,â you indicate, and Sukuna begrudgingly releases you from his hold.Â
Youâre surprised that he didnât pounce on you so quickly.Â
The two of you only had one other sexual moment just a few months ago.Â
Sukuna video called you one evening, his face tight with frustration.Â
He was exhausted from training, and even more drained by the press.Â
They were claiming that his new âpumped physiqueâ was due to steroid use, and one little rumor had the representatives of the boxing association hounding him like he was a real culprit in this make believe story. Suddenly, his hard work and training was being reduced to the thing that the press claimed him to be: a cheater.
He called you to ensure you that everything was alright. That he was forced to take tests which all came out negative (obviously) and and effectively proved his innocence.Â
âI canât wait to be home,â he breathed with annoyance. âIâm fucking sick of this shitâŠâÂ
You were in the bathroom getting ready for bed, gently patting your moisturizer onto your face. âIâm sorry you had to go through that,â you stated, offering him only an apology because it's all you could give. âIs there something I can do to make you feel better?âÂ
Sukuna arched his brow, his attention hovering in front of the screen.Â
âYeah, you can take off that robe youâre wearingâŠâ he teased.Â
You jerked your head to the camera in surprise, noting his cheeky tone.Â
âHa-haâŠâ you remarked.Â
âIâm being serious,â he answered back, his mouth dropping into an instant frown. âIâve had a shitty day, and I canât even do the one thing I want to help me relaxâŠâÂ
You arched your brow. âAnd what might that be?âÂ
He revealed his canines, a wolfish grin brightening that handsome face. âFucking my girl...âÂ
Your heart thumped, and you swallowed the sudden tightness in your throat. You picked up your lip balm and dabbed your finger into the ointment before gliding it over your bottom lip.Â
âYour girl, huh?â You reiterated casually, hoping that Sukuna wouldnât quite pick up on the catch in your throat.Â
âYouâre always my girl, even when you werenât mine to call thatâŠâ he added softly, his voice pulling your attention back towards him.Â
He wasnât kidding around, with the look on his face entirely serious. The tips of your ears stung with a heat that you couldnât explain, and you just had the sudden urge to reach through the screen and pull his face back towards you.Â
You wanted to kiss him, to tell him that you always felt like you belonged to him too.Â
The two of you an inseparable pair for a reason.Â
Instead, you stripped down to reveal your naked form. You perched the camera towards the back for a wider shot, and allowed your body to speak to Sukuna instead. One of your legs was resting on the bathroom sink, the other grounding you on the floor. You had the camera facing your cunt, with your fingers buried deep inside. But it was nothing compared to the stretch of Sukunaâs digits, wasnât filling you enough to reach you to the pleasurable climax you desired.Â
âItâs not enough,â you gasped in between breaths, watching Sukuna passionately jerk off from he other side of the screen, âNeed you, âkuna~â you whined, âitâs not enough with youâŠâÂ
The memory hits you, making your lower belly tighten.
You dry your hands off to face him, only to find the man standing with an expression of guilt on his face.Â
The same concern you had earlier when you left the elevator reappeared once more.Â
You pick up the fruit bowl from the counter, trying your best not to give the discomfort attention. You offer Sukuna a strawberry, lifting it towards his mouth but he instantly circles his hand around your wrist and pulls it back down.
âI need to tell you something,âÂ
You scrunch your brows, and place the fruit bowl back onto the counter.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â
Sukuna closes his eyes, a look of shame washing over him.Â
You take a step closer, wrap both arms around his waist and rest your chin on his chest.Â
âWhatâs wrong?â You repeat, coaxing him to speak.Â
âI nearly threw the fight tonight.âÂ
You jerk your head up in shock, your lips parting as your jaw falls from the confession.Â
âYouâŠwhat?âÂ
Sukuna rubs his tired face with one hand, using every ounce of courage to look back at you.Â
âThere was a moment in the ring when Satoru threw a relatively decent punch,â he explains, âI had the lights knocked out of me for a split second. When I turned to face him it hit me then...that I could fake dodging his next attack before giving him the opening that he needs to win. One more hit and Iâd...collapse. Let the referee do his count, and that would be itâŠâ
You knew the exact moment he was referring to. It was the point in the match where your ears were ringing because you truly thought that you would be witnessing a loss on Sukuna's part. The entire crowd was muttering in shock, all of them on the precipice of a potential shift in legacy.Â
âI didnât follow through because I think Satoru noticed a change in my demeanor. It was only a few seconds, but the kid is fucking sharp. He wasn't smugly determined then, he was looking at me with...confusion. I couldn't do it then. I didn't want him to get a cop out on my end. So, I carried on the fight the way I would. After the match, I thought I could just let the moment pass but Uraume tried to bring it up later and I shut it down because I didn't want to admit it. Anyway, I needed to just get it off my chestâŠâÂ
âYou were going to give him that win?â You expressed with deep concern, tightening your hold around his waist as you watched Sukunaâs face to turn hard.Â
It hits you then - that the Champ, The Monster of The Ring, The Beast and King Himself wasâŠburnt out. Sukunaâs fire had been gone for quite some time, you just thought it would reignite after tonight.Â
But it didn't.
You bring your hands to his biceps and caress your palms up and down.Â
âRyomen,â you speak, licking your lips with hesitation before finally asking. âIs this what you still want?âÂ
Contemplative eyes meet yours as his palms find both your cheeks. He drops his head down, his lips seeking yours as he takes into account the gash on the muscle, then places a careful kiss on your mouth.Â
âI just want you,â he hums.Â
âMâright here,â you murmur back, âNot going anywhere.âÂ
âIâve been waiting for this,â he adds on, âthatâs all I could think about during the fight. Was just coming home to you, coming home to usâŠâÂ
A shiver runs down your back, but your body vibrates with an innocent excitement. âWe donât have to wait anymore,â you whisper. âIâm not going anywhere no matter what happens. No matter what comes nextâŠâÂ
Sukuna looks at you then, knowing full well what your statement means.Â
Once news breaks out of the two of you being an actual item, heaven knows what might happen. If the paparazzi have been plaguing Sukuna like a curse this whole time, it was only going to get even more complicated with you so intimately intertwined in his world. And now that he was back on top as the champion, he knew full well that all eyes were going to remain on him.
From when he was a child, no matter what he believed about his life that would deter you from him. His broken home wasn't enough to push you. His anger wasn't enough to push you. His detachment wasn't enough to push you. The chaos that is his world wasn't enough to push you.
You have always remained solidly by his side.
His constant. The only thing in the world that he can rely on.
âI love you,â he states under his breath, leaning in to peck you for a second time.Â
âI love you too,â you repeated with a smile against his lips.Â
There was no epic moment around this sober reveal, no exceptional circumstance other than the privacy of it being spoken with no one else to hear it other than the two of you.
You loved one another, in the deepest possible way you could love a person. From there your lips parted, and you carefully kissed the man before you as he scooped you up in his arms.Â
He repeated the phrase again when he placed you on the kitchen counter, with his fingers buried deep within the folds of your wet pussy.Â
You moaned it back to him after he carried you into his bedroom, with your fists tangled between his hair as he ate you out.Â
He grunted it out one last time, with his hand gripping the headboard as he watched your body melt into the matters when he thrusted his dick in and out of you as he made love to you feverishly.Â
And you mumbled it back one last time while he held you in his arms, the two of you falling asleep from a very long night of unbridled passion.Â
Sukuna was the first to wake at the crack of dawn. He rolled over to grab his phone from the side table in an attempt to turn off his alarm before it woke you up as well. As he looked at the device, his heart sank.Â
A number of notifications were blowing up his phone and it was making him feel dizzy.Â
News articles were already painting him in all his glory after his fight with Satoru, with his opponent looking battered in defeat. The press had finally flipped, and suddenly began to revere him the way he deserved to be. There were text messages from an influx of people, either congratulating him or wanting get his thoughts on the match. Sukuna feels the tremor in his hand build as he starts to scroll through the notifications.Â
He places the device on the blanket in front of him, his eyes looking out to the large windows as he watches the sky shift from a deep violet to a lilac blue. He turns this head to gaze at you. This image of you by his side, in a position that heâs seen multiple times in his life, feels different now too. The soft glow of new daylight washes over your body, and the stillness of the hour has him believing that he actually made it to heaven. Sukuna places a soft kiss on your forehead, then carefully kicks off the blankets. He searches for his boxers, then pulls on the pair before stepping out into his balcony.Â
He calls Uraume.Â
Usually they pick up quick, but Sukuna counts down the rings until they do.Â
âMy King,â they tease, their voice a little groggy. âTo what do I owe the pleasure?âÂ
Sukuna watches a bird fly across the horizon, the ease in his chest an affirmation to what heâs about to say.Â
âIâm retiring,â he announces. âIâm done.âÂ
The silence hangs in the air, streaks of orange and yellow begin to tint the clouds.Â
âI had a feeling you were going to say thatâŠâÂ
âis that why it took you long to answer my call?âÂ
Uraume huffs out a laugh. âI guess I was hoping for another piece of newsâŠâÂ
âAre you mad?â Sukuna asks, only honoring Uraume with his worry because he knows how much they have done for him to begin with.Â
Uraume sighs, âIâm not actually. Itâs the smartest decision you can make. You retire now and you basically leave the game while sitting at the top. Youâve earned that throne, and it wonât be easy for these rookies to take it from you so quicklyâŠâÂ
Sukuna chuckles, âyouâre right about thatâŠâÂ
Uraume lets the quiet overtake the conversation. âIâll give it a few days before I break the news to the press.âÂ
âAnd then what?âÂ
âThereâs definitely going to be a lot of interviews, and a retirement party that you will have to attend wether you like it or notâŠâÂ
âAnd what about you?âÂ
Uraume hums, âYou and I had a good run. If itâs the end for you, then I guess I can finally retire too..âÂ
Sukna furrows his brows, his nails scratch over the rail on his balcony. âI donât want you doing that because of meâŠâÂ
Uraume laughs, âYouâve earned my loyalty, what can I say?âÂ
âThank you,â Sukuna breathes, âFor everything youâve done for me. Youâre more than just a manager, but I think you already know that...âÂ
âI know it,â Uraume answers back. âAnd I also know that this is the right decision because you soundâŠrelieved.âÂ
He hears you then.Â
You were calling out to him, ââkuna, where are you?~âÂ
He turns his back to face the railing, missing the sun breaking through the horizon at the sound of your voice. He smiles thinking about the adorable, frustrated look on your face when you probably reached out and couldnât find him, and he slowly begins making his approach back into his bedroom.Â
âI am,â he speaks to Uraume, âIâve got to go. Will talk about this later.âÂ
He hangs up the phone, and returns to the shadow of deep, restful slumber. He places the phone back on his side table, and smiles at the exact disappointed expression that he pictured when he was outside.Â
The second you feel his warmth back in your presence, you snuggle up into his frame.Â
âWhere did you go?â You mumble with a yawn, and Sukuna wraps his strong arms around you as he nestles back into your body.Â
âNowhere,â he breathes, easing back into your embrace.Â
âHeard you talking,â you add on, you eyes still shut but your arm slinking around his neck to keep him close.
Itâs taken you both over two decades to get here, and he wasnât going to allow anything to come in the way of that. âIâll tell you about it later,â he reassures, keeping his loving eyes on you as he clutches onto his bright, new future with his favorite person.
A life that you both will now get to live in peaceful happiness.Â
â âč .
:note: hi, everyone! long form fics has been really draining for me these days but these one shots feel like a great refresher. I know this is a monster of a fic, but I hope you enjoy the story. comments and reblogs are appreciated!