"He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot will be victorious. Therefore, know your enemy, and know yourself. And in 100 battles you will never be in peril." ~Sun Tzu, The Art of War Flying back from the Dominican Republic on Sunday, I was back-roomed at customs. Twice. First by agents at SDQ (Santo Domingo airport), then by Homeland Security agents in Newark. Sidebar: During 12 international trips over the last 4 years, I've been stopped by customs ZERO times. But I knew I was clean like a washing machine, so I let it roll off my back without even flinching. I fly internationally enough to know that customs agents can go from zero to steroids faster than the jet I'm getting on. And I'm only writing about it because my cool colleague Demetria Irwin posted how airport agents recently patted down her afro for contraband (didn't know whether to laugh or be bothered about that one - cue Pam Grier in Foxy Brown when she snatched a pistol from her afro and lit the whole scene up). All the agents wore holstered firearms - real, INTERNATIONAL cops. They have the cursory power to put your ass on the No-Fly List so fast your head will spin. Coincidentally, I had on high-top Air Jordans, basketball shorts, and a black t-shirt with big headphones around my neck (shout out to billion dollar Dre Beats, holla!). And I had no carry-ons. It was only a four-day trip, so I chose to just check my bag and breeze through the airports comfortably. But having no carry-ons is a customs red flag by itself, not to mention I looked like a dude who just finished shooting a rap video. The SDQ agent didn't speak a lick of English. She inspected a family of five's passports in front of me and whisked them right through. But she took my passport, immediately walked it around the corner somewhere, then came back and pointed where I had to go. I walked over to a side room where another agent with a weird-looking wand device now had my passport (it wasn't a magnetometer). She touched the wand to my waistband, socks and sneakers, then put the wand in a machine. Right after, she handed me my passport and sent me on my way. I knew what it was - she checked my clothes for drug residue in case I had something stashed. But I didn't. I'm legit. So I chucked dueces and bounced. U.S. Customs and Border Patrol in Newark came even harder. As soon as the agent in the booth checked my passport, he picked up his radio, clipped it on his belt in front of his gun and said, "Come with me, please." Then he walked me across the terminal and passed my passport off to another agent, who in turn walked me into a backroom and told me to have a seat. And the room had at least 15 people in it, including kids. They were watching TV. That's when I knew it was all random. Rather than sit down, I asked the agent where the bathroom was. By the time I came out he shouted, "Randell!" I walked over to the desk, he stamped my passport, and handed it to me. "Have a nice evening." Through both incidents, I never broke a sweat and never flinched. Like I said, I knew I was clean so I wasn't worried. But why was I stopped twice by customs after never being stopped before? Was it random? Was I profiled? It was probably both. Equally. I'm street-smart enough to know that the cops play a numbers game - to make busts they have to make stops. But if you're not riding dirty, your calm confidence should be automatic. And that same calm confidence 9 out of 10 times will whisk you through. So you ask... "What's your point, Joel?" And I answer: Whenever you're stopped by the cops - be it customs cops running the airport, or local cops running down the street - stay cool. We all know how cops can get, especially recently. So don't give them any attitude. And whatever you do, don't challenge or confront them. That's just asking to be detained longer. Or worse. I'm not suggesting you cower to them on some "Yeah, boss" shit. Just keep calm and you'll carry on, way sooner than you think. Take that from a man who use to live with the cops. *drops mic and exits stage left.*
titsay
turnnoffyourmind
origamiaround
yousharknotpass
kaledo-art
germansingergirl