âśRachel Berryâś âśSisterâśDaughterâśActressâśSingerâś Resident of the great city of New York. Lover of all things Barbra, Bette, Celine & Adele..Watcher of IZombie, OUAT, all things Disney and Pixar, among other things when there's time Closet fan of Marvel and DC Thank you Peter & Dylan Currently working on: brand new musical, Burlesque You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it. Barbra Streisand
Sebastian shrugged, the answer on the tip of his tongue, though he would never admit it out loud, “You know how I am. You and pretty much the entire city, actually. I doubt you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who would tell you they couldn’t see me in a long term, committed relationship.” Waving it off, he continued, huffing a humorless laugh, “That’s not the first time someone’s implied I only did it because I wanted Kurt to end up miserable and alone. Maybe you’re all right… Jealousy on the other hand? That’s just not possible. I’m a lot of things, but into Kaiden isn’t one of them.”
He still couldn’t believe she was standing there offering to help. It was as if he’d been sent into an alternate dimension or something. However, she was right. Even while he was trying to truly wallow, to really get the full experience, this mess he’d turned his home into was starting to get to him. Couldn’t he wallow in cleanliness? That would truly put him at ease and wasn’t he suppose to be trying to comfort himself at a time like this? Giving in, Sebastian sighed, nodding, “You’re right.” The words tasted almost bitter in his mouth. Sebastian frowned but forged onward, every syllable grinding on the way out, “I really do appreciate you sticking around, but if it’s all the same to you… I’d rather ignore the state of things for the moment. And if you could not tell Kurt you found me like this, I would be much obliged.”
“I know you, yes. I’ve seen the gossip blogs and the comments, heard the whispers but I know for a fact that people can surprise themselves. They can change.” A small smile played on her lips and she shook her head, “I don’t think I mentioned you being interested in Kaiden, although I can see why anyone would be, I was implying that if you can’t be with Kurt, you don’t want anyone else to be. Maybe it’s him you can still imagine yourself with. Maybe seeing him with Kaiden made you realise what a complete ass you’ve been and how much you want to be with Kurt.” Rachel wasn’t going to pussyfoot around what she wanted to say, she was sure Sebastian would prefer the direct route.
“Of course I’m right,” she said softly, looking down for a moment. “I’ve been where you are now, not for the same reasons, but it’s not a good place to be and sometimes you just need someone to help you crawl out of whatever hole you’ve fallen into.” A soft chuckle left her lips, “You know full well I’m going to call Kurt the moment I leave here,” then she shook her head, “I’m not going to tell him. He doesn’t need to know, and he wont figure it out if you get yourself out of this funk.” Chewing her bottom lip she looked him over, “Why don’t you shower and find something clean to wear and we’ll go out and grab something to eat?”
I…I don’t know why I haven’t said anything. I’ve thrown myself into work in an attempt to forget about it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. He thinks I’m still hung up on Sebastian. And he’s not really wrong…
About a month ago, Sebastian asked me to break up with Kaiden and take him back. And I think he was serious; he wouldn’t risk destroying his friendship with Kaiden - they’ve known each other since they were little kids - unless he was serious. He all but told me he loved me. I still said no. But then I got home and pretty much had a full break down. I thought things were good after that; we seemed like we were on a good page. I thought I’d finally let go. Then Kaiden broke up with me. He said he loved me and we could still be friends, but I was still in love with Sebastian, and I should try to fix things with him.
I obviously have not.
{private}
I don’t think that feeling is exactly one sided Kurt, especially after what I saw, butt hat’s a whole other story I said I wouldn’t speak about.Â
Kurt, you’re a grown man and I’m going to say this only once. Is perusing this with Sebastian a good idea? Look what happened last time, and he’s even said himself that he’s not relationship material. I know you, I know you want all the bells and whistles when it comes to a relationship and Sebastian.. well.. are you sure monogamy works for him?
Sebastian stood there, a little stunned for a moment. He studied her, trying to figure out her angle, and when he couldn’t find one he sighed, “I… I’m sure you’re going to hear about this anyway so I might as well just… I may have made a really stupid play for Kurt?” Sebastian posed it as a question, almost as if he were trying to kid himself that it never happened. Rubbing the back of his neck, he continued, “I don’t know what I was thinking. He’s with Kaiden now. And obviously I’m not built for relationships, nor do I want one so..” Sebastian shrugged, trying to justify what he’d done, both to himself and to Rachel, but the words fell flat even to his own ears.
“Are you… Offering to help me clean up or something?” Sebastian asked, watching in shock as Rachel tied her hair back and proclaimed something he would have bet his life would never come out of her mouth, “Thanks, but I’m doing okay. And it’s really not that bad in here, honestly. You should have seen it after the last party I hosted.” He chuckled, almost light-heartedly and gestured vaguely around the room, “I’m still finding things where I shouldn’t and that was like, weeks ago.”
Rachel raised an eyebrow at his comment but that was all. The news was a shock to her but it wasn’t her place to tell him off or call him any names, instead she studied him as he continued to talk, or was it ramble, she couldn’t quite decide. “Why do you say you’re not built for a relationship?” Some people might think they weren’t, but she wondered why Sebastian thought that about himself. “Maybe you were thinking that you were jealous, or that you didn’t want Kurt to be with anyone else?” It might be a strange way to look at things, but it was quite possible.
“I am,” she said with a nod of her head, if there was something she imagined about the man before her, it’s that he was a neat freak like herself and Kurt were, it was something she’d deduced from the way he presented himself. “You’re not doing okay,” she told him, “I might not know you that well, but I know you well enough to know you’re not.” Laughing a little she shook her head, “You’re trying to change the subject Sebastian, or at least steer the conversation to something else.”
↳ INSTAGRAM:  @missrachelberry  uploaded a new photo:
Having some fun shooting promotional pictures for #burlesque with @peterjblack  and the rest of the cast. Keep your eyes and ears open as we’ll soon be announcing the the dates for the show. #burlesquethemusical #peterblackphotographyÂ
Feeling even more embarrassed than if Rachel had caught him in the act, Sebastian looked out one of the windows. He didn’t blush. He wasn’t feeling that out of character. But the idea that Rachel had noticed there was something off made Sebastian feel uneasy, even if he knew deep down that was what he’d subconsciously been after, “Um.” He started, clearing his throat before forcing himself to look at her, so as not to come across as too out of character, “I’m fine. Honestly. Just being a bit dramatic… You know how I am. I’ll be back to insults and injuries in no time.”
He flashed his teeth at her in something of a grin and gestured for her to sit down on one of the stools, “We could sit on the couch though, if you’d rather. I know these things do nothing for the back. I keep accidentally finding myself doing work here though so I should really buy something more supportive. But it’s all about the aesthetic, isn’t it?” Sebastian now found himself talking just so Rachel wouldn’t, turning the conversation in the opposite direction, “I’m thinking about refurnishing the entire place, actually.. But anyway. How are you or whatever? Long time, no see.”
A small smile played on her lips as he commented on the way he was being, “I can deal with dramatic,” she said softly, “I’ve been known to be that way myself sometimes, and you know who one of my best friends is.” Ducking her head a little she looked him in the eyes, “I know I’m probably not the person you’d open up to about things, but an outsiders opinion might help on things.”
At the offer of a seat she shook her head, “Thank you but I think I might be of more use if I stay standing.” Pulling a band from her pocket she twisted her hair up and into a bun out of the way and glancing around the apartment. “I’m as well as I can be,” she said honestly, with everything that was happening, or going to be happening, things weren’t exactly the best for Rachel right now, but she was coping. “Now, what can we do to get the Sebastian I loathe back? I really don’t like seeing you like this,” which was strange really. She should take pleasure in whatever was making him this way, but she wasn’t.Â
Really, in this city, it’s a gamble crossing the street, with or without wheels under you. I didn’t see if they were hurt but I figure the lack of sirens meant nothing serious happened, more than a good lesson on street etiquette.Â
That’s very true, but if these people take their lives into their own hands, who are we to fight them? I think that’s something a lot of people need to learn, I know there’s the hussle and bustle of New York, but you don’t have to be rude.
Who: Hugo, Peter & Rachel
Where: Hugo’s sisters apartment
When: Saturday 3rd June 2017
One Night Only.
The time has come
I'm flying away
Mouth is numb
Heart don't know what to say
And although I'll be out of sight, dear
Know I'll be right here
Right here forever, ever, ever, ever
When you look to the night skies
Don't think of goodbyes
Think how I'm right here ever, ever, everÂ
Rachel never understood why you threw a party when someone was leaving. What exactly were you celebrating? Was it that a person was leaving or that they were starting a new chapter in their lives. Were you wishing them good luck through the medium or music, food and drink? Or were you saying get lost, we'll be fine without you? It was something she could quite figure out. People seemed to be having a whale of a time and yet when she smiled it reach her eyes. It was the last place she wanted to be.
This was the big send off for Hugo and she'd been dreading it for the past few weeks. Rachel wanted to be selfish and spend this last night with him alone, not a room full of people. Her eyes scanned the party goers for signs of the man of the hour, but she couldn't see him anywhere. Making her way to the kitchen she looked inside, people were busy talking and making drinks, but no Hugo. Â She saw someone head out onto veranda and went to follow, but she stopped when she heard voices.
“Shouldn't you be in there with your well wishers? It's a little rude for the man of the hour to be hiding out here.”
That was Peter, she'd know that voice anywhere.
“Don't feel like celebrating,” a voice came in reply. Hugo's, there he was. Not wanting to impose on their conversation she listened. “I know people mean well and they want my last night here to be memorable but,” he paused, “I don't know.”
“You're having second thoughts?”
“Yes..well no.. well... yes. Ugh, I don't know. When I applied for the job things were different, I had my sister and niece here, but nothing else. I'd moved here to help her after her divorce and be here for Kissi, but now..”
“Now there are complications.”
“Exactly. I have new friends and colleagues I actually like for once, and a woman who.” Rachel heard him sigh and she frowned, a woman who what?  “Y'know, if she asked me to stay I would.”
“She'd never ask you to do that.”
“I know, and that makes me want to stay even more.”
“But you can't.”
“No. No I can't.”
As she listened she could imagine what was happening, Hugo was running his hand through his hair, pacing back and forth while Peter stood watching him.
“Have you tried talking to her?”
“Yes we've talked, we've talked until we're blue in the face and we come to the same conclusion each time. I go to D.C, she stays in New York, we're both doing the things we love..”
“Except each other,” Peter interjected and Rachel almost choked at his words. Â
Hugo said something but Rachel didn't quiet hear the first part as people walked passed talking and laughing. “...said we're going to be friends.”
“So you're not considering a long distance relationship?”
“We didn't see how it would work. Rachel's on the final stages of rehearsals and will be thinking about tech soon, I'll be working long hours in the lab. It's just not possible.”
“It's only impossible if you let it be. You're only a couple of hours away, you can video chat, text, phone, the world isn't as small as it once was.”
Rachel knew Peter meant well, but she couldn't let this conversation go on any longer. It was painful to listen to and she could tell from the tone in his voice Hugo was struggling with it too. Stepping out through the doors she forced herself to smile, “There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere.” She walked over to the boys, wrapping her arm around Hugo and giving him a quick kiss, “I was starting to think you'd run off and left me behind.”
“That's tomorrow,” Hugo  tired to joke.
“Well I'll leave you two to it.” Peter made an exit before anyone could stop them.
Rachel was about to speak when Hugo pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers, his fingers curling into her hair as he kissed her. After what felt like forever he breathlessly pulled back and smiled, “We should leave before anyone tries to stop us.”
“Leave? Hugo, this party is for you. You're friends they...” He silenced her with another kiss, holding her tight against him. Rachel's knees felt week and her thoughts became fuzzy, all she could think about was his lips and the way his hand moved down her side and came to rest on the slight curve of her hip.
“Our friends will get one hell of a show if we stay here,” he muttered, kissing her neck softly.
“Hugo,” she whispered, trying to gain some kind of composure, “We should..we should talk.”
“No,” he said as he took hold of her hand, talking wouldn't make this any easier, “We should go back to yours.”
If Sebastian had been surprised he’d asked her in, he was even more surprised she had agreed. He opened the door wider for her and turned around, starting towards the kitchen and leaving Rachel to close it herself. Feeling mildly embarrassed, Sebastian hid in the fridge under the ruse he was looking for food. Which, he supposed he was. Though his kitchen was pretty empty at this point. Unless you count leftover take away. Opening the milk, Sebastian smelt it and winced. The cap went back on immediately and the jug went back in the fridge.
The cabinets turned up much of the same. He never really kept much stocked in the first place and now it was just sort of sad. Sebastian ran a hand over the back of his neck and bit his lip in irritation. Turning around, Sebastian gave Rachel what he hoped was an apologetic look. He still had no idea why he wanted her here so badly. Talking as he cleared the second barstool of disorganized files, he sat in the first one when he was finished, “How do you feel about curry? We might have to order something… It’s been awhile since I’ve made it to the grocery. I’ve had a lot on my plate recently, so I’ve just been ordering in.”
Stepping into the apartment, Rachel closed the door behind her and walked further inside, her eyes taking in as much as they could without her appearing to be nosy. There was something playing on her mind  as she stepped further inside his domain. She noticed the pizza sitting on the table, but didn’t comment on it, following him towards the kitchen because she wasn’t sure what else she should do.  Standing a little uncomfortably, Rachel held onto the strap of her gym bag, her hands twisting it as she waited and watched him move from the fridge to the cupboards. Old Mother Hubbard sprang to mind.
She listened to him finally talk and he sounded nothing like the Sebastian she knew and.. well disliked. Lowering her bag to the floor she walked towards him and leaned on the counter a little, narrowing her eyes as she searched his face. Something wasn’t right. “Curry is fine, as long as the place you’re planning to order from does vegan food. But I think there’s more important things to consider right now. What’s going on with you? You’re usually so...well,” she was trying to find the right word to say without insulting him, “Together. And you’re obviously not. You’ve not showered in days, there’s fast food containers, stuff and you’ve no groceries. What’s going on?” Her voice was full of concern, real concern, she wasn’t judging him or anything else people might think she’d do. Rachel was worried.
If the curb is a curve ramp, it’s not so bad, getting up and down but stairs would surely be an obstacle. Being a cyclist in this city is dangerous enough, attempting to be on wheels in the middle of foot traffic is just stupid. Oh, I didn’t trip them, nature handled that one. I did laugh, though.
If, but sometimes that’s not the case. It would be painful to fall off of one of those, and dangerous if it were near traffic. That is one thing I will never attempt and every time I see a bike messenger cycling through the city my heart jumps into my throat.  Were they hurt?
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