((personal update))
most won’t read till the end and i don’t blame you. you’ve been programmed not to. summary, i’ve been taking a dopamine detox. here’s why.
before i put this out there, i’d like to say i am human just like you. these thoughts stem from observing majority but not everyone. i’ve been guilty of all these doings at a point in time and most likely will be in the future. no human is perfect. this is just my way of adding some perspective to our imperfections..
so i know i’ve been publicly quiet for a few years now. this is because of personal events as well as gradually becoming more uncomfortable with the behavior we’re allowing as a society.
in my opinion, we are subconsciously controlling each other. we are addicted to short term dopamine infused feedback loops.. as humans its in our nature to want people to like us. gratification from others is the strongest drug there is. but think about how dangerous it can get when there’s several platforms with millions of constantly active users that could instantly feed you with a like, love or thumbs up etc. not just one person in front of you saying they like you but potentially millions of people saying they like you. i imagine that would leave your subconscious thinking, what do i need to do next for more people to like me? that thought is the first sign of you being controlled.
not only are we competing with each other for validation, but the demand for content vs appreciation scale is far out of balance. what happens when you take an impatient market combined with a fixation of dopamine infused approval, you get more product with less substance.. in a world where all media and information is available at a touch of a button/screen, this naturally makes us more and more impatient. therefore, when it comes to “content”, we’re empowering quantity over quality. gradually decreasing what humans accept daily while over saturating all markets. this can be dangerous.
i thought deeper into why we allow this. what i call the more of less theory. simply put, there’s only so many ways of doing something, while there are countless amounts of people trying to do the same things. that’s why nothing is truly original. everything is a newer rendition (hopefully improvement) of an already existing idea. this literally applies to everything.
as innovation is dying and copying is thriving, i’ve become even more lost in my search for “truth”. i started to realize that there honestly is no truth when it comes to the correct way to live. it really comes down to all power remaining in the eye of the beholder.. to get more honest, most are just chasing quick gains rather then long term change. this goes back to blaming our vastly growing impatience. not to mention the easier route will always appear more appealing then the harder route. which now brings me to my concerns with social media.
insta(nt gratification from strangers) isn’t entirely healthy, for me at least. read that both ways.. not only do we value outside opinions more then we should, we start to lose who we really are at the expense of others approval. the longer we spend scrolling the easier we are influenced. the more we see how “influential” beings are living, the more we naturally become envious of that lifestyle. slowly we start attempting to become more and more like the figures we look up to until we don’t even know who we really are.. now a’days it seems like most don’t even know how to form an opinion without first checking what everyone else thinks.
social media is one out of many forms of dopamine that we rely on to get through the day. we create false realities to distract us further and longer from our actual realities. we share the best and hide the rest. we thrive off of the approval from others to reassure us from our own insecurities. we tear each other down at times to feel some sense of control. we watch self improvement videos rather then actually implementing them in our lives. we distort our perception of others based on their online identity. we base our own worth on our social identity, status, and class rather then our actual character and values. we constantly spread biased misinformation, since everyone has the ability to voice any opinion they please, which leads to mass propaganda and solidifies the expiration of truth. we justify unproductive behavior and lie to ourselves over and over until we are eventually fine with it..
now i’m not saying all dopamine is bad all the time. we need some form of reward when we do something good. i’m just saying it seems most need a significant amount of dopamine in a short timespan to feel okay. this can be dangerous.
in my short 22 years, i’ve spent countless nights overthinking and analyzing the complex world i was put in. very confused on determining what’s actually right from wrong since we’re all born the same way but live drastically different lifestyles. one person could be completely supportive of something while another being completely against it. so far the 2 best overall attributes i’ve found to guide my compass is perspective and balance.
so, why update us after so long of silence just to be more silent? well because i felt the need. a personal update seemed appropriate in this interesting time we’re all experiencing. if i help give one person just a little perspective and awareness leading to a little more balance n possibly some happiness, then i feel i’ve done my part.. please may we all unify and do our part to promote love and equality! we have the power, we are the future and i will forever remain obediently yours.
coming full circle, i would have never made any social accounts had i not pursued a career as an artist. i have a lot of unreleased music, ideas and poetry created. still currently creating.. making impactful art that no one else understands fills me with joy and purpose. wether thousands of people experience it or i continue to keep it to myself, either way it has always been therapeutic to create and revise. i may release content again to the public if i feel compelled to. could be in a few months, could be a few years or could be never. whatever it is, i’d like to thank anyone who’s ever given me any time of day, in any sort of way. i love you, all of you..
i’d also like to apologize to the ones i didn’t treat properly in the past while growing up and losing myself as a person. with how complex life can be, at times you may find yourself caught up in things that don’t really matter. i have spent a good amount of time recognizing my mistakes, accepting them and learning from them to better myself everyday going forward. i hope you understand and one day grow to forgive me if possible.
lastly, i value your time and hope you do as well. that’s kind of why i wrote all of this. if you’ve made it this far, you’re special. you’re interested in programming your life to be a little different. a little better. after this, will you continue scrolling or start a new journey? most people say just do what makes you happy. if scrolling makes you happy, who am i to stop you? i’m just another human on my pursuit of happiness. X staY up -Z














