A Blog of Sorts

Where does it go?

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Fall in Love

"Just fall in love, make a fuckin' mess...it goes shitty, you don't realize until it's too late and then you cry a lot and move on. It's the best part of life." - Louis CK, Louis C.K. 2017

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Mischief 

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When a man see me across the room vs. up close

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Get out there and #vote ! #election2016 #imwithher

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Greek Fest 2016! #greek #greekfestival2016 #justportlandthings #portland #goodfood (at Portland Greek Festival)

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I am the Nick! I am the greatest character on the show! Check out my Throwback Thursday Left 4 Dead 2 play! Link to my YT channel in bio! #left4dead2 #nickleft4dead2 #pcgaming #gamergirl #letsplay #steam #valve #esseych #tbt #throwbackthursday

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I'm so shocked at how hard treasure is to find in 7 days to die that I'm puking rainbows! Link in bio! #7daystodie #zombies #survival #horror #pcgaming #steam #earlyaccess #zombiegame #treasure #imnotevenmad

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Are you happy? You could be! All you need to do is check out my recent play of We Happy Few, an game available on Steam in early access! Link in bio! #wehappyfew #steam #gamergirl #earlyaccess #pcgaming #indiegames #kickstarter #compulsiongames

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Help! The zombies are coming when I take them on in 7 Days to Die! Link in bio! #7daystodie #zombies #steam #gaming #pcgaming #girlgamers

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Flaws

I get that you like pointing out my flaws. But please, I’m kicking my own ass. You adding to it doesn’t help.

[aaronbleyaert]

Have you ever had to say goodbye to someone? I have a friend I've become particularly close to since Christmas - I'm not in love with him, despite occasionally sleeping together (it's just for fun and we both know it) but I do love him platonically, and he's moving overseas in a few months. I know it's not forever, and we'll stay in touch online, but it still makes me sad to think of not having him in my life the way I do now. Any advice?

One of my favorite poets, Louise Glück, has one of my favorite lines ever written:

“Why love what you will lose? 

There is nothing else to love.”

Nothing lasts forever. No one lasts forever. And no relationship lasts forever. Even if he was staying, your relationship would eventually change, because that’s what relationships do.

When Conan told us that he would be taking the show to California, I made a list of all the things I wanted to do in New York City before I left. I knew I’d be back - and I have been, many times - but it wouldn’t be the same. A page was turning in my life, and I had the luxury of being aware that it was happening while it was happening. You have this same luxury; you know that your relationship with this person is going to change. Most of the things on that NYC Bucket List were simple: “Sit on a bench in Union Square and watch people for an afternoon”; “Drink a beer on the Staten Island Ferry”; “Watch the sunset from a roof in Brooklyn”. They weren’t huge things by any means, but they all had one thing in common: They were about appreciating the moment. About reflecting on that time in my life and feeling it. Really feeling it. These are things that seem incredibly, unbearably trite and cheesy when you see them written like this on a blog, but make no mistake: Those moments are some of the best of my life. I say make a similar list of things to do with this guy before he leaves; share a few quiet moments that you both can look back on in the decades to come once you’ve gone your separate ways. Even just sitting on the couch with each other under a blanket eating ice cream, if you’re paying attention and telling yourself to remember it, will be a moment you’ll treasure forever.

So - my advice? You’ve still got a little time left together. Enjoy it.

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Words to live by. <3

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Day #1 Workout: The Hardest

I re-signed up for Daily Burn and here’s to hoping I stick with it. I did the True Beginner workout AND the Yoga Made Simple workouts. I burned about 325 calories although I could barely keep up with the yoga one. I’m surprised at how much positive energy is flowing through me after these two rather simple workouts.

I think it’s time to get a FitBit or something.

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omfg

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this oh my god

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What a way to spend my weekend. #houseofcards #frankunderwood #goodacting #netflix #underwood2016

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Ar Éireann Ní Neosainn Cé hÍ

I was on the train yesterday riding once more into downtown on my way to work. Then this song came on through my phone and swept its way through my headphones. The combination of flute, guitar and the crooning Irish words that were flowing forward from some man’s voice had me caught up in a moment.

My eyes stared into a sky filled with gray-rimmed clouds. The sun hit the back of them causing them to appear bright even with the threat of rain. The blue sky poked out in scattered areas as the train sped along. In that moment, I forgot where I was.

I wasn’t in the city. I wasn’t on my way to work for another paycheck. I wasn’t about to spend five hours with people I enjoyed and one I knew could not care less about me. The one I wished would give two shits about me but I knew he would always refuse. 

No, I was staring over open green fields and with someone faithful by my side. I have no idea who he was supposed to be. Just someone I knew I could love forever. It was simply breathtaking and in that brief sliver of time and place, I was somewhere else. And then, just like a flash, I was snapped back to reality. The sound of the train’s distant rumbling echoed somewhere outside the world of the music. The train slowed as the beautiful clouds were now obscured by a tall building. 

I blinked and remembered. I was nowhere near fields of green. I had no one faithful by my side. I was going to work. I was about to spend five hours with people I enjoyed and the one I knew could not care less about me. 

The song changed then.

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So apparently this happened. That made me super excited! Whee! :D @teamcoco agrees, #JoCo should be a thing. #CONAN #comedy #kingoflatenight #conanobrien #latenight @jordanschlansky

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I bought the chocolate peanut butter kind because I know you like peanut butter and chocolate. I bought them just so you could enjoy one and maybe you’d think of me for a few brief seconds. But they were gone by the time you got there. I left you a note telling you you’re awesome instead.

~

When I told you I didn’t like seeing movies alone that wasn’t a queue for you to tell me how much you watch them alone and how many things you do alone. You don’t have to be alone.