The Real Housewives of Silvermoon City
Fashion Crimes, Season 1, Episode 2, Part 1.
Scene is set in Court 37 of Silvermoon City, court of Fashion and Noble Complaints.
Court room chatter as we wait on the accused to show up to court.
Judge Kapalarn: “The Accused seems to be running a little late.”
Jizelle: “Guilty! For Wasting everyone’s time!”
Harpsie: The goblin turns to Velva “If you need legal representation, come tah me when the judge calls ya name.”
Ashleigh: She crossed her arms, “I can’t believe the gall of the accused, late to their own trial.”
Jizelle: “They had better come here looking marvelous!”
Judge Kaplarn: “Quiet down. Now, could the accused, Velva VanSprocket please step forward?”
Jizelle: She scoffed in a haughty and snarky tone, “Guilty! Guilty, I say!”
Velva: She turns to Harpsie, “I don’t need representation, I can handle myself but thank you.”
Jizelle: Jizelle looks at the accused and shouts, “That’s you! Ugh.. those globes do not blend well at -ALL-” after eyeing her up and down.
Judge Kaplarn: “You are accused of property damage for the hideousness of your tentacle hilted daggers, bear paw covered hips, and overall sense of style. Please make your defense.”
Velva: Velva speaks up, “Propety damage? Who was damaged?”
Jizelle: interrupts, “Everyone’s eyes from looking at you!”
Kaplarn: “According to the information I have been given, the property value of an entire neighborhood was damaged by your utter hideousness and standing idle for three consecutive hours in that neighborhood.”
Ashleigh: interrupts, “Yes the value of those luxury spires decreased because their view was blighted by her devastatingly mediocre fashion sense. She should be ashamed of her crimes!”
Velva: She tries to keep a straight face, “The fur covers my hips pads, and enhances my hourglass silhouette. The daggers..”
Jizelle: “An hourglass if the center was inversed maybe…”
Ashyrne: “I can personally attest to seeing those daggers, they are unacceptable. The dripping and oozing can be found trailing across the streets of Silvermoon.”
Velva: “Well sure it is, they have tentacles… It’s ichor..”
Jizelle: “Ichor? I’ll ick-all over that outfit! Ugh.”
Velva: stares the woman down, her eyes narrowing, “I would wear something more fabulous, but I can’t have every elf in the city tracking me down for a recommendation. My seamstress can only work so hard.”
Ashleigh: “Is your seamstress blind, is that in your defense VanSprocket?”
Velva: “No, she sees fine. She studied in Silvermoon and was smart enough to see the same garbage over and over again, and she works for a real celebrity.”
*Jury of elves is now crickets*
Jizelle: “If you’re a repeat customer she definitely sees the same garbage over and over again.”
*random crowd member shouts, “She’s a celebrity? Who?”*
Ashleigh: She sighs and wipes her forehead, “Oh blessed belore, the gall of such claims.”
Velva: Snarks, “Sis. I can wear a trashbag and make it chic. You’re wearing garbage.”
*Courtroom Collective Gasp*
Judge Kaplarn: He slams his gavel down several times, “Order! Order in the court! Jury can you make a decision based on the observation and the testimony against the accused?”
*Jury is sequestered in the enclave separated by sheer curtains and bickers among themselves.*
*Ashleigh speaks for the collective jury as they come out.*
Ashleigh: “The jury finds the accused, guilty. Your honor.”
Judge Kaplarn: He turns to Velva, “You are found guilty of property damage. I sentence you to one week of community service cleaning the streets of the exchange, and a mandatory fashion class taught by Ashleigh Vancleave. Try not to dress as gaudy as her…”
Velva: Her mouth hangs open, “Fashion classes with her?!”
Ashleigh: exclaims, “Hey it is not gaudy, it’s couture!”
*onlooker shouts, “A fair punishment.”*
*A wardrobe of last season’s Keelen Sheet’s clothing is portaled in by the magister retainers of the court.*
*The second person accused of heinous fashion crimes is brought to be judged*
Part 2 will be posted this weekend!
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