What would happen if phanfic happened? @realisticphanfic - Tumblr Blog

Sorry i haven't posted on this blog in so long. The writing juices just aren't flowing atm

#not ficks #I have like one idea I might do later

This blog is too flipping funny OMFG

I am glad to have pleased you

It is 1 am where you live and you're exhausted. Your mom made you get up at 8:00am yesterday to go grocery shopping with her. Its a wonder you made it this long. But hey, tumblr calls. You had to stay up until 1 am to talk to some of your internet friends and blog about Dan and Phil. Now your dash is dead so you finally decided to go to sleep. You settle down and pull the covers over your head. You dreamed that Dan and Phil had come over to your house to hang out with you. Then you all flew back to London to have a party. It was a good dream, you would definitely have to post it on your blog when you wake up. Suddenly you hear a noise. You pull the covers off your head to see your two favorite internet stars, Dan and Phil. Your eyes widen. Is this a dream? You thought. But it was no dream. Dan and Phil are robbing your house. Dan has your laptop and Phil has your mother's prize vase. You sit stunned. Dan raises and eyebrow and points at you. Phil nods. Next thing you know you have ditched your home for a life of crime with Dan and Phil. This is your happily ever after.

#what am i doing #danisnotonfire #amazingphil #tagging them bc why not #requested #dan #phil #you

You sit silently in 3rd period science while everyone partnered up for the biggest project of the year. The assignment was to raise a frog from the egg and observe its stages of life. You didn't expect anyone to want to be partners with you. You were kind of a loner, but then a tall boy with dark hair walked over to your desk. "Hi," he said. "My name is Phil, I'm new here. Do you want to be partners?" You smiled and nodded yes. Not only did you get a partner, but a cute one too.

Later you went over to Phil's house to start the project. You decided to do it at his house because he was used to raising animals, since he had raised hamsters. His mom led you to Phil's room and left. "Hello y/n!" Phil said excitedly. "Are you ready to raise a frog?"

You two worked for about an hour when suddenly Phil turned to you. "I've got a hypothesis, and I want to see if its correct. What do you say we do some experimenting of our own?" He raised an eyebrow. You blushed an said "sure."

The next thing you know you are being hooked up to electrodes. Phil was placing you into a giant test tube of green liquid while laughing manically. Phil was a mad scientist. What have you gotten yourself into?

#phil #you #requested

reading the tags that you guys put on my posts on this blog is my favorite thing

#not ficks

PREMIUM BEAUTIFUL PERSON! Once you have received this award, you are supposed to paste it into the asks of eight people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it is sweet to know that someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out. Have a lovely day!

thanks anon!

#im laughing why am i getting these on my sideblog #Anon #answered

Phil sat on his bed with his laptop on his lap. He was on a cat video streak when he heard a noise coming from the living room. He took off his headphones. "OH MY FUCKING GOD" shouted a voice that was clearly Dan's. Then Dan continued to make moaning and grunting noises that could all be heard from poor Phil's bedroom. Phil quickly shoved his headphones back onto his ears and blushed. He couldn't usually hear Dan above his headphones, he was really getting into it tonight. Phil watched YouTube for another half an hour then removed his headphones again. He could still hear Dan in the living room going at it. He ususally doesn't go for this long. Phil decided to go check on him, against his better judgement, but Dan was being loud and Phil had to sleep. Phil walked into the living room, Dan was laying on the couch breathing heavily. "I finished, Phil!" panted Dan. Phil awkwardly avoided eye contact with Dan. "I finished rainbow road!" Dan said pointing the wii controller excitedly at the TV.

#dan #phil #phan #requested

Dan self harms

this is a parody blog, and I'm not going to write about self harm because it is a serious topic and should not be taken as humor :)

#Anon #answered

It was a dark night as Dan emerged from his house. He was hungry and it was feeding time. Not many people came to this part of town at night, but those who did he could feed on and not get caught. If he got caught they would kill him. People these days aren't too fond of vampires. He scanned the streets for his victim of the night. He spotted a burly male that appeared to be semi drunk. Nah, thought Dan. Drunk blood is the worst tasting, right up there with dried blood. Then he saw the perfect victim, tall, so he was full of blood, yet kind of gangling and uncoordinated so he could be caught easier. Perfect. Dan snuck up behind the man. He grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around. The man was wearing a gas station cashier's uniform with a nametag that read "Phil". He couldn't help but notice the man had many attractive qualities, but he pushed that thought aside. Phil looked at him with a face of tired fear. He had obviously just gotten off a long shift and was exhausted. "What's happening?" asked Phil with a scared expression. Dan just opened his mouth to reveal his teeth. Phil looked at him with his ocean blue eyes. "I'll do anything to get out of this please just let me go!" "Anything?" asked Dan raising an eyebrow. After all the man was rather handsome, it wouldn't hurt to have some... fun. Phil just nodded with tears in his eyes. Then Dan moved his face closer to Phil's, closed his eyes, and bit down on his neck because fuck this guy a man's gotta eat.

#alcohol #this one was kinda lame soz #odetofatigue #requested #dan #phil #phan

If I don't do your request please don't be offended! I will only do ones that I can come up with a funny twist for. Here are some tips to get me to do your request...

The broader the better. Don't give me 10,000 specifics of how you want it to go

Don't give me the ending, that's my job

Don't make your requests intentionally funny. The point of this account is to parody serious phanfic

again, sorry if I don't do your request but if I can't come up with something good out of it, I can't post it :)

#not ficks

Phil is nervous, he is about to do something that was inevitable, yet life changing. He was scared what would happen after, would things be the same after it happened? Phil hoped so. He had to do it quickly. He ran over to Dan and pressed his lips to Dan's. It felt weird at first but he kept going. He broke their mouths apart then put their mouths together once again. Then Phil started to give Dan chest compressions. Phil had saved Dan's life by giving him CPR. Dan was eternally grateful.

#dan #phil #phan #requested #i kinda messed with the topic a bit oops #their mouths were together so its kinda like kissing idk

Please post more ;-;

I need a good idea first.... I dont have any right now D:

#Anon #answered

ur blog made my day omf

I am glad to be of service

#cutiephantootie #answered

This is seriously my favourite blog. Please write more

shall do anon

#Anon #answered

Can we submit satirical fics?

dude that's what I do