Jokes aside i'm finding comfort in this place again. I tried so fucking HARD to be a happy, cheery person. Being the positive light in everyone's life, it didn't work. You can't be something you're not. Cut that cute shit, you're broken, fake. You're made to fall, not to rise and sparkle. i've been keeping it up for 2 years. When shit went down, i tried so hard to come back. I'm tried but still got blamed.
Liam was a metaphor of someone i never wanted to be, ofcourse that isn't my real name. I gave my worst era a name. i completely changed everything after i felt better, when i was "healed". This profile was to cope. i didn't need it for a long time, my life was "perfect". I rebranded myself and i thought i had it all sorted out.
I realize now, i cannot be changed. Some people are not made to be fixed. We are broken. i either die by my own hand or live long enough to see myself destroy everything i love. I'm not a cheery happy person trying to make life a joy, i am Liam. The meaning of rock bottom. A random name that might fit me the most at this point. I wanna hurt myself but honestly? i don't have the energy anymore. The aftermath is making people worried, i don't want that. I don't want people to see i lost the battle, I don't want people to see i'm fake. I hate lying, but in the end i've been doing that for 2 years.