AYE IM THE DEMOMAN

G’mornin lad

- @red-demo-tf2

GOOD MORNING DEMO!!!!!!!!

How have you been, pal? Are you looking forward to Smissmas??????

Aye am gonna love Smissmas!

How are ye doin? What’s happening on Smissmas for ye?

I’M DOING GREAT!!!!!!! I LOVE SMISSMAS!!!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN I SPEND IT WITH MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well uh- WAIT, DID I TELL YOU SPY GOT ME A PUPPY???????? NAMED EAGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It keeps trying to eat the Smissmas decorations. SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO I’LL PROBABLY HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I THINK. UH. OH NO DEMO, I DON’T HAVE ANY PLANS!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!??!?!

Oh a dunno. Are ye still with that spy? Maybe arrange something with him?

and awww yer puppy sounds cute! A need to meet him!

Well it- WE’RE STILL DATING!!!!! He’s just. A lot busier with his contracts and, uh. Takes a lot of breaks. HE DESERVES THEM. THAT’S A GOOD THING!!!!!!!! I just. Miss him!

YOU DO!!!!!!! I HAVE THE CUTEST LITTLE PUPPY AMERICA HAS EVER SEEN!!!!!!!! And the most patriotic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have any Smissmas plans, Demo???????

Oh well that’s nice, breaks are good!

And nah av nae got any plans yet, wish I did though.

G’mornin lad

- @red-demo-tf2

GOOD MORNING DEMO!!!!!!!!

How have you been, pal? Are you looking forward to Smissmas??????

Aye am gonna love Smissmas!

How are ye doin? What’s happening on Smissmas for ye?

I’M DOING GREAT!!!!!!! I LOVE SMISSMAS!!!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN I SPEND IT WITH MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well uh- WAIT, DID I TELL YOU SPY GOT ME A PUPPY???????? NAMED EAGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It keeps trying to eat the Smissmas decorations. SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO I’LL PROBABLY HAVE TO KEEP AN EYE ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I THINK. UH. OH NO DEMO, I DON’T HAVE ANY PLANS!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!??!?!

Oh a dunno. Are ye still with that spy? Maybe arrange something with him?

and awww yer puppy sounds cute! A need to meet him!

#tf2

*swaps all your alcohol with non alcoholic juice*

- @reds-wildcard-jester

HEY! Now what have ye gon and don that for?

#tf2 #aye mate

G’mornin lad

- @red-demo-tf2

GOOD MORNING DEMO!!!!!!!!

How have you been, pal? Are you looking forward to Smissmas??????

Aye am gonna love Smissmas!

How are ye doin? What’s happening on Smissmas for ye?

#tf2 #kaboom

OOH AYE A NEED TAE SLEEP GOODNIGHT!

*snoring noises*

#kaboom #tf2

Ay solly!! It’s me!

- @red-demo-tf2

HELEO. HEL LO CMEODMEODMAN FMY FRIEND. CAN Y OUBBLOW ME UIP I NED R OEPXCLOEFDE

If yer asking to be blown up then no a cannae!

Been told am nae allowed amore from boss…

THEYODNT NEWED RTO KNOW . INED THIS. IF YUOUWQONT DO IT IL JSUT DO IT MYSDELV MABHTGOT

IM NAE BLOWING UP ME BEST BUD!!

ID FEEL BAD!!

Ay solly!! It’s me!

- @red-demo-tf2

HELEO. HEL LO CMEODMEODMAN FMY FRIEND. CAN Y OUBBLOW ME UIP I NED R OEPXCLOEFDE

#mod is dying from sick #so is demo #aye mate #tf2

If yer asking to be blown up then no a cannae!

Been told am nae allowed amore from boss…

#tf2

Pickle

What’s with the pickle ay?

If ye send me another pickle im gonna shove it up yer arse!

#aye mate #tf2

Hallo Herr Demoman!! How are you doing vith zhe food poisoning?!

Aye am doin good doc, still aching though.

Got any advice to help? Ad be grateful.

#aye mate?#tf2

Hello dear! I heard you are sick, what happened? How are you feeling?

- @wastelandtherapist

Ah ave been better, think I’ve eaten somethin that was nea cooked properly.

Doc says av got food poisoning.

Thanks for checking in on me though, means a lot.

How av ye been?

You doin’ good today bud?

- @meet-the-trapper-tf2

Pain…

Doc said av been poisoned by some food.

#aye mate?#tf2 #mod is dying from sick

achoo

Bless ye solly

Are ye alright lad?

- @red-demo-tf2

OF COURSE I’M FINE!!!! DEMO!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD ANYTHING BE WRONG???????? I’M COMPLETELY FINE!!!!!!!!!! AND NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come eer lad *demo gives soldier a big hug*

Are ye sure yer alright? Am nae hearing American screams?

DEMOOO!!!!! I AM FINE!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP WORRYING ABOUT ME, MAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOK, I found these GRENADES earlier when I was in my room. DO YOU WANT THEM?????????? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE AFTER, CYCLOPS?????????? YOU WANT MY GRENADES???????????

OH IS THAT RIGHT AY?

Am nae after her grenades!

And am nae leaving here until a find out why your not talking about the greatest country on earth!

AMERICA!

#KABOOM #tf2

Are ye alright lad?

- @red-demo-tf2

OF COURSE I’M FINE!!!! DEMO!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD ANYTHING BE WRONG???????? I’M COMPLETELY FINE!!!!!!!!!! AND NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come eer lad *demo gives soldier a big hug*

Are ye sure yer alright? Am nae hearing American screams?

#KABOOM #tf2 #he good?

*wildcard hops up to demoman with a toothy grin. He waves, the bells on his wrists jingle merrily as he greets the scotsman.*

Good day mr. Demoman! How are you feeling? In need of cheering up?

- @reds-wildcard-jester

AHH!

Who the feck are ye?

Where’d ya come from?

*demo is visibly confused about what has just happened*

Av nae seen anything like ye since av came from me trip to Europe.

But next time dinnea try and scare the shite oot of me!

reds-wildcard-jester

Oh my bad sir!

I sincerely apologise in the name of clowning, it will not happen again!

I’m wildcard and it is an absolute pleasure to meet you!

*he sticks out a jingling hand to shake.*

I hope you enjoy my clownly presence in the base from now on!

Oh well it’s nice to meet ya!

A suspect ye already know who a am? THE ONE AND ONLY DEMOMAN!

*demo grabs wildcards hand and gives a firm Scottish handshake*

So why are ye here? Are ye a new merc?

reds-wildcard-jester

Yeah i just arrived here a few days ago! Its awesome to be here!

You wanna see a cool magic trick?

#KABOOM #tf2 #he’s a sucker for magic

Oh aye ad love ta!

show me show me show me!

Ay, are ye the nurse aroond ere?

A think I hade te much te drink again...

@red-demo-tf2

Ja, I am the Nurse. If you need to lay down for a bit then go ahead. We have plenty of empty beds. I can get you some water to help you feel better and maybe a small snack if you're up for it? I can also place a bucket by the bed in case you feel like you're going to vomit.

Nae, aill be fine, a think... I was comin through to see if a cou...

demo passes out on the floor mid sentence but is still breathing

[Nurse stares for a few moments before sighing. He picks up Demo with ease and carries him over to the examination bed and lays him on it. This wasn't the first time he's carried a blacked out drunk Demo and it likely won't be the last. He gets a glass of water and places it beside Demo as well as sets buckets for Demo to vomit in on both sides of the bed]

*after the next morning comes demo wakes up erratically*

AY WHERES MA…

Oh nae, not again.

A hae a bit to much too drink again didn’t a?

Gosh am so sorry nurse, I’ll make it up to ye, a promise.

*demo starts to feel bad because this cycle keeps repeating of over drinking and passing out*

[Nurse perks up when he notices that Demo was awake. He stands up from his desk and walks over to Demo, a small smile on his face] It's alright Demo. I would rather you pass out in the infirmary than anywhere else. Do you need anything? Some fresh water? A snack? I'm sure you need something in your system other than alcohol.

Aye if it’s alright with ye can a hae some water?

Aw man av got a problem havnt a?

*demo looks down and is reflecting back on times when he excessively drank, which is alot of times*

[Nurse nods slightly and leaves for a moment. He comes back with a glass of water and hands it to Demo. He pulls a chair beside the bed and sits down. He thinks for a moment before responding] Yeah, but everyone here has one it seems. Even I do. I can barely go an hour without smoking... We all have our vices, but at least we have the team to lean on when we need help.

Cheers for the water lad!

Aye suppose yer right, the teams all anyone her has got anymore it seems.

*demo drinks the glass of water swiftly*

Thanks again pal, can always count on ye for help.

Anywho a should probably get back to me own business haha!

*demo starts to smile again after almost seemingly forgetting he lad passed out for hours merely a few minutes ago*

Cheers again pal!

[Nurse stands up and nods] Do you need any help leaving? I can assist you wherever you need to go. I promise that it is not an inconvenience.

Oh ye dinnea af to but if you wanna ye can!

Am just headed doon to me room right now.

*demo smiles at nurse and can tell there avoiding work*

It is of no inconvenience for me. I need to get some time out of the infirmary anyways. [Nurse walks over to stand beside Demo] Plus this is mainly a precaution to make sure you don't injure yourself while going back to your room.

Ah, thank ye mate, follow me ma rooms this wa.

*demo starts to walk towards his room*

So he must be pretty strong ay? Heard ye had carried that big lad trapper haha!

Oh I'd say I'm quite strong. Not as strong as some other teammates however. I'm sure that lifting Trapper is an easy feat for some others as well. [Nurse walks beside Demo, keeping an even pace with him. He keeps his hands clasped together in front of him. He rarely acted so formal outside of a medical situation]

Oh aye? I’ve seen trapper a few times and he ain’t exactly a small lad ha!

*demo smiles and chuckles softly*

But in my eyes that’s quite strong ad say!

But anyway ma room is just over here down the hall on the right.

So what’s the worst medical case ye have dealt with? For the mercs a mean.

You must see a lot of different wounds going around especially with constant fighting happening aroond us.

The worst medical case I've dealt with..? Hm... Well there was a time that Respawn tried to regrow Engineer's hand, the one he chopped off. It didn't go right and his hand was a mangled mess embedded in Gunslinger. It hadn't fully grown so it was just his nerves and some flesh and it was grown around and inside Gunslinger. It was a mess. I think that's the only time I've had to put someone under anesthesia while working on them.

Oh jeez, that seems very disturbing for both ye and engi.

Hope he’s aight.

*demo is visibly shocked about what he has heard and seems as if he is wanting to know more but also stop talking about it but his curiosity got the best of him*

Nerves you say? Yer tellin me that he could feel it before ya put him under?

Oh yeah he could. We only realized when he screamed. Not even the medigun was able to help. Sadly due to the damage we had to remove even more of his arm. He woke up a bit after and told us to say fuck it and remove the entire arm since he can just build a new one. Both me and Vater were very hesitant but we obliged. His entire arm is metal now and I think possibly more. Engineer was surprisingly calm about just removing his entire arm. Though what can you expect from a man like him...

Oh gosh, that must’ve been hard to watch.

A feel bad for engie tho, but at least he’s doin aight now.

*demo is still visibly disturbed but is trying to stay calm and supportive*

Ma room is just around this corner on the other hand tho.

Thanks for walking me here, it’s been nice bein able to have a talk with someone.

It was hard, but a very interesting event. Hm, let's just hope Respawn doesn't try to regrow your eye. [Nurse chuckles softly. He stops walking and fully faces Demo] You're welcome Demo. If you ever need help, just find me.