heathen gibberish

humans just say the darnedest things

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cast of characters (updated 2025)

me, obviously (20)

siblings (6, 9, 12, and 15)

mom and dad

misc. family

assorted friends

[pukicho]

thoughts on homeschoolers?

DURRRRRRRR. DOOUIIIIIIII

[pukicho]

If you weren't homeschooled, maybe you'd know

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puki this is The most homeschooled response you could’ve given

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me: Wiggitty wiggitty weenus.

15yo: Diggitty diggitty disappointment.

[aueua]

people with siblings: how do you feel about them?

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“Look at that harmonica—oh wait that’s a vape.” -friend

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friend’s brother: I’ma just go with what my momma gave me.

friend’s mom: What? Sexy?

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7yo: I would replace my teeth with r…

me: Rocks?

7yo: No. I’d replace my teeth with rotten marshmallows.

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“I could pee this and it’d be clear. Can’t do that with soda.” -friend

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me: It’s about puppies. You like puppies, don’t you?

4yo: I don’t anymore. They’re stupid, useless animals.

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“Welcome to the club of warm people.” -friend

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me: [4yo] where’s the hamster skin?

4yo: It’s in the bay-ag.

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Dad: Good job. You didn’t even cry.

4yo: But I did, I cried without tears.

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random kid: Do you guys like aloe vera juice?

me & friend: No…

kid: It’s at Stater Brother’s for $1 *walks away*

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“Two permits equal one license, right?” -friend

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“Billionaires for Jesus! Let’s start a club!” -friend

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friend 1: You know how many hands have been in there?

friend 2: Yeah… and I drank it.

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me: Imagine if I actually did drugs.

friend 1: I don’t think we’d be able to tell the difference.

friend 2: Acid. That seems like your drug.