SALVAGED @redeemedsolo-blog - Tumblr Blog

BEN IS NOW COMPLETELY REVAMPED AND HERE

gonna be switching over entirely to a different blog soon so heads up

shesawoken·:

THE FALCON. of all the ships in all the galaxy … free of merely a few days and already proving how easily he can still f r u s t r a t e. how predictably like his father. it might’ve brought out the tiniest smirk of she. but a tiny smirk isn’t something she’d admit to. ❛ oh no more from you back there … ❜ BB-8 knows better, stifling agitated grumbles from above the cockpit of the borrowed x-wing she’s commandeered. he’s not been gone long, but his absence she feels. a weakness in shared life removed? is it a question? is it a fact? merely an excuse to track down?

let the droid play only witness to the conflict presented. landed in a hunt, following blips of intuition. he must feel it too, must know something. always a bond, C O N F U S I N G as it were. && conveniently there’s something different about coruscant. a strength in contrast to that which she’s felt since he left — free of self assumed imprisonment. ❛ sit tight, BB-8. ❜ she commands, freeing herself from the ship, boots catching ground. ben … she allows her thoughts to race. as if he’ll hear. as if he’ll hear like so many times before. ben …

@redeemedsolo· - plotted!

the voice in his head is his own -- and oh , how he loathes it. this weak , feeble mind that allowed atrocities , that hardly raised apprehension as he burned the galaxy down around him until there was nearly nothing but ash left. in all the hollow spaces where palpatine’s roots once took hold , all that’s left is an overwhelming ache of guilt. he holds no illusion that he is blameless , knows that he will spend the rest of his days working to repair worlds he tore apart. ravaged. it’s why he took off , freed himself from a place where it was easiest to fool himself into believing himself a victim. at least , in this ship , his father’s ship , he feels the ghosts. and the farther he goes , the weaker he feels.

he settles on coruscant , landing to find a world in pieces. but also filled with hope ( if only he could share this with his mother ). an effort to rebuild. no one questions the strange man as he volunteers. there must be many like him: stragglers from homes that are no more. the work is good and laborious , callouses open on his fingers and energy drains from his veins. maybe this will be the thing to kill him , he prays.

but it doesn’t last. he can sense the shift in the force , life teeming beneath his skin. rejuvenated. she's here. of course she is. it isn’t long before he hears her call. ben... he wipes the sweat from his brow , and tosses the mallet he’d been using to the ground. a stranger eyes him , curious. can he sense the disturbance too ? ben mumbles something about needing a break , getting some water. the other man nods. they’re all working hard. i’ll see you soon...

the force between them is easy to follow , vibrant as it is ( he’s so sorry ). muscles burn as he walks , new injuries and old ache in time with each step. he hasn’t stopped working since his arrival but it’s only now , when he reaches rey , that he’s aware how dirty he must look. covered in grime. and purpose.

‘ hey. ’

#shesawoken‌#sorry this is so long !! please don't feel the need to match length !!#( v.2 ‚ rise from the ashes #q.

resours

a sentence starter inspired by “ MABEL ” a podcast about ghosts , family secrets , strange houses , and missed connections written by becca de la rosa and mabel martin. / part 2.

did i dream you?

i think i conjured you.

you laughed, and i fell in love with you.

i love only you. only you. only ever you.

sometimes loves isn’t enough.

you are familiar and strange at the same time.

i thought you were beautiful: a thing i could never touch.

sometimes i think i would eat you if i could.

it is not uncommon for us to want to eat what we love.

we consume what we love.

where does it come from, the thread that ties us together?

you know some of my secrets, i know some of your secrets.

i always thought the worst thing in the world was repetition.

do you know who i am? or are you only looking in the mirror?

i am different. i am not the same as i was.

you don’t strike me as the kind of person ever to have been afraid of the dark.

even the dark needs things to eat, things to love.

the dark was hungry. the dark is always devouring.

i never used to step on insects. it would make me cry.

nothing in this universe is what you think it is.

i have only anecdotal evidence for this, but it’s true nonetheless.

entropy, come to devour all.

would they be horrified if they saw my hands, do you think?

my touch has always ruined everything, hasn’t it?

i am unwilling to change for any purpose except my own will, my own apotheosis.

#meme.

redeemedsolo-blog

YOU ARE A WAR // Drabble ↳ cw: self harm

every nerve in his body claws in different directions, a constant battle to BURN. ash clogs his lungs, throat hoarse from screams he’s constantly choking back. P E A C E. a made up word. how can peace exist when every molecule in his body – every atom of his world longs to destroy itself ? in the quiet of an uneventful evening, gloveless hands clench into fists so tight fingernails draw blood. even in moments where violence should not exist, the entropy inside of him makes due. thoughts twist and turn, a distorted image of his mother’s face cooing venomous words in snoke’s tongue. you are your grandfather’s heir. you are your father’s son. hollow eyes take in that shattered glass reflection of himself and bloodied knuckles as scarlet droplets smear across sterile, chrome floors. how much is him ? how much is the supreme leader ? and how much is the boy still suffocating beneath the roaring flame ?

there’s no future, only SMOKE. if he concentrates, he can still smell the burning temple. picture the lifeless eyes of his first kills, and in them he can truly see what’s beyond that smoke-clogged visage. the fire inside of him will consume him whole– but maybe he can bring the rest down with him. a galaxy full of lies and hypocrites. interchangeable ideologies all claiming some divine right: the jedi, the sith, the resistance, the first order. fill in the blanks and watch the planets implode as children shriek and grow into mangled monsters of false faiths.

you are a war, his mind screams. you are fire and ice and the destruction of it all.

a prophecy, writ in the dying stars and pulling at his veins like puppet strings. there’s no redemption, there’s no VICTORY. there’s only the raw war that burns through the place a soul used to be. his father’s face illuminated in red, a hand on his cheek. gentleness cannot endure the same heat where love cannot grow. it can only fester, corrupt, and crack. he is a war. frayed edges and dented armor. an explosion on the verge of destroying everything. and when he does ( there’s no if , if died a long, long time ago ), maybe then will he find that fabled peace: in the blankness of death. and in the dwindling spark of – dare he think – hope.

HOPE that what will grow once the fire’s out, will be better than kindling that came before.

#self harm //

notsosolo‌:

“Y’ready to make the jump, kid?”

@redeemedsolo liked for a starter

“ pretty sure i was born ready. ” ben grinned from the co-pilot’s seat. “ i mean , you tell me. you were there. ”

#notsosolo #( v.3 ‚ the child of rebels #q.

my brain: bitch , don’t do it me: uses gregg sulkin as the fc for my alternate universe ben

#ooc.#you ever just have a handful of go to faceclaims that you use for everyone ???#yeah gregg is one of mine

might fuck around and make a different ben solo blog that’s based entirely within a verse where he got so afraid if what was happening to him , ben reached out to luke to help cut himself off from the force & in turn , the voice inside his head

#ooc.#probably a sideblog on here

buckykingofmemes

can i fix it? no! but i can wreck something else so badly that this seems fine in comparison

#( &. about ‚ all you have is your fire

HOUSEKEEPING !!

starters: 1 replies: 2 memes: 10

#ooc.

𝙰 𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙲𝙺 𝙿𝚂𝙰 , i don’t ship re.ylo at all , but i do love their dynamic in a ‘ two sides of the same coin , coming together to overhaul an outdated system that has robbed both of them of their youths ’ kind of way

#ooc.#i don't want anyone to get the wrong impression #on either end

it’s thinking about how ben solo means son of solo in hebrew time

#ooc.