Mine

Nothing is real until it is written. The words are mine. The rest are the world's dreams and nightmares. My texts, some of my photography, a lot of my passions, BDSM, NSFW and not meant for minors. DO NOT DELETE CREDITS, please respect creative output of any kind. And don't steal, just because something is on internet it doesn't mean it's anonymous and without copyright.

[redlilith]

Sometimes miracles do happen...

[redlilith]

...I am sorry, I just COULD not resist this one 😂😂😂

[extramadness]

[redlilith]

Or something that makes it throb, worse, ever alive…

[red-lipstick]

Tom Gauld (Scottish, b. 1976) - The Reason I Stayed In The House All Day    Drawings  (All perfectly valid reasons)

[redlilith]

So much yes! This week I'd add infernal temps all over Italy and avoiding being forced to wear bikinis😂

[corpseonpumpkin]

Open chest of the patient.

By JARET FERRATUSCO. With DESALLE.

Thank you.

[redlilith]

Every day the same. Open for gnawing guilt, regrets, bonecrushing self-assessments…

I will be better. I want to be.

[redlilith]

(Im)patiently waiting to go get an evening ice-cream, body burning from the sun and jellyfish stings August 2017 Self and own

[lastdaysofmagic]

[redlilith]

Oh no...I feel it everywhere, starting from my mind...

[redlilith]

Yes, Redlilith is dead and reborn!

Self and own, 2017

[romantcgntlmn-deactivated201603]

[redlilith]

The older I get, the emptier it becomes. I always say it. I say it first and I always, always say it last. Long after there's nobody to hear it or even catch the echo of it. I am learning it means nothing in the end but for my own heart. Nobody cares. Nobody feels bound but me.

I love you. I want you. I crave you. I miss you. I need you. I want to belong. I want to submit. I want to hurt you. I wish I will meet you. I'd like to feel, something, anything...

See? Nothing's changed. I am still going to say it...

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

what I want to talk about is no longer there / it is not there

W.S. Merwin, from Flower & Hand Poems: 1977-1983; “Talking,” (via unhearddocument)

Exactly this. I am tired of fighting alone. Of being the only one holding a torch even if loving is against my own good. I wish I could just let go.

[prometheev-blog]

You Don’t Control Anything

Yesterday, I made an important realization regarding my kinbaku journey. After a while being a top, practising regularly, you tend to take for granted some small things and, if you don’t pay attention, these small things can become huge balloons. And oh! are balloons meant to explode in your face at the moment you are expecting it least…

Here’s what I learned from such balloon, yesterday :

You don’t control anything, you don’t own anyone.

And when it seems like you do, it’s because the person you are topping is willingly giving it to you. No top, no Dom is strong enough or smart enough or magical enough to overcome all mistakes and know/understand everything.

Be grateful, always. Be kind and generous, and give as much as you can. Because in the end, the only thing you can do to prevent situations like this is to stay humble, and to care. 

Rope is about love. So, love. 

[redlilith]

This. Very much this. As I hope it will be.

[theliteraryjournals]

“…Years of love have been forgot In the hatred of a minute.”

Edgar Allan Poe “To M-” )

That's how it starts, every time

[wordsnquotes]

You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart.

Louise Erdrich (via wordsnquotes)

Oh I know that. I am just exhausted to be the only one doing it…

[redlilith]

THE GIRL YOU USED TO KNOW

I remember her too, that girl you used to know. The fall from Eden an ugly cut From her chin to her groin. She carried it well, like all her other scars. Her insides would often spill out And bleed her dry, Her light chasing worth in the world Instead of keeping her safe In a darkness so cruel She never let herself breathe. She was so beautiful, You forgot that part so soon. So she forgot it too. High on love, high on you Jumping at every little chance To sacrifice some other part of herself For you, To be whoever you needed Because she thought she needed A center to exist, To be a human being. A good one, of course, like you.

I saw it happen and I just stood there. I let it happen. I didn’t know how to intervene. You thought her inconvenient To your eternal retreating And she learned what being invisible Truly means, Turning blind to anything kind. You took away the words, Any true meaning behind them And she learned how to choke on her own. Like a broken horse being put down Over and over and over, she hunted and shot herself After every new silent dismissal.

The girl I knew, the one you remember to miss Now and then, You hardly acknowledged she was yours When you were all she had. You made her ashamed of herself, You beat her to a pulp with surgical precision And Carved on her body that she was less than zero So many times She finally believed you. You taught her to die at will, You taught her well, Customized her coffin to perfection even. Too loud, too hard, too mean, too giving, too demanding… Never enough for you nonetheless, She mastered how to let everyone else rot too, A body count keeping her company In your stead.

The girl you used to know Is still here, She never truly left. You still just refuse to see her. The difference is she finally remembered Who she really is While you keep running away. I forgive her everything. I know she is tired, I know she wants to give up the fight, I know she deserved so much more Than bleeding in a void.

Text and photo by me ©Redlilith 2017

[redlilith]

New Years's Eve

I carried your heart. I carried it in my heart. I guess we are both heartless now.

[redlilith]

You said it would be easy. You said you’d hold my hand all the time. You said you had a heart and I could live in it.

I look at the hole in my chest now and I wonder If I just swapped one emptiness for another

©Redlilith 2016, photo and text.

[redlilith]

How do you do it? How do you say ‘I love you but you have to help me to leave you. I love you but I don’t feel anything at the same time. I love you but I am in love with someone else. I love you and I regret not being a better person for you. I love you but I haven’t been inside you for ages. I love you, it would be so easy to grow old together, but we are no loving couple anymore. I love you but you have to help me to leave you. Please please don’t hate me.’