the fact that the way marcille looked reviving falin left such a deep impression on laios that his default image of her in his head has her hair down, his succubus has its hair down (and how distraught he is when he hears that she was going to cut her hair)
as a precursor idk anything about tarot myself so i bought a book on it!! the specific one i got was "TAROT Connect with yourself, develop your intuition, live mindfully" by Tina Gong.
i also used this post https://twitter.com/MintDaffodils/status/1426133478525988866 to help me identify some of the cards since the illustrations in the book were sometimes different from mikoto's cards, but i used the interpretations from my book
this is a part 1/2 because its soooo long, so please let me know if you're interested in the rest!
first thing, we see two cards in mikoto's headspace:
the first one is identified by mint as the upright fool, which is "potential, new beginnings, freedom, innocence, black slate, optimism." this could represent how mikoto wants a new beginning away from his trauma and stress, or maybe how one of his headmates forming is a sort of new beginning for them?
the second one i identified at the reversed hanged man, which is "release, detachment, being stuck, stalling, fear of sacrifice." it represents the hanged man breaking out of his bonds in one way or another, which could be representative of mikoto feeling free in headspace because he's away from the stress of work and life in general. its also interesting to note that mikoto's shirt has a upright hanged man on it, as seen below:
this represents "surrender, sacrifice, inactivity, waiting, acceptance." firstly, this reminds me of the host mikoto, as he sacrifices in a job that stresses him out in order to make money, and does nothing to help his situation. perhaps the difference between these two symbols are meant to show that his headmate(s) are the ones that take action to fix things, therefore working to free him.
next, we see some tarot cards in the celtic cross spread:
im gonna go card by card in this one
in the first position ("heart of the matter: what is currently happening? what is the querents situation or emotional state?") we see the reversed hanged man. i believe this supports my theory that mikoto himself is represented by the hanged man, with the host being the upright and the headmate(s) being the reversed. im not sure on the theory of who is pulling these cards is, but it comes right after non-host/greenkoto switches to headspace, so i think it could be interpreted that it's not the host either way. this also comes right after cleaning up the murder, so it could just be that the current situation is he's becoming free/being released from stress.
in the second position ("challenge: what stands in your way? what needs to be resolved?") is what i believe to be the reversed queen of swords, which is "critical, pessemistic, bitter, grudges, cruel, cold." This could be one of two things; either the person that he has an issue with (maybe who he killed) is described by this, or mikoto himself, and he must overcome it. personally i lean the second one, because the extended definition is "[the queen] may have been severely hurt in youth and is consumed by revenge, punishment, or hatred," which reminds me of the fact that mikoto has childhood trauma (because he is a system) and apparently copes with it through violence / protecting himself aggressively.
in the third position ("past: what past events are shaping your current situation?") is the reversed wheel of fortune, which represents "clinging to control, repetition, external circumstances, going around in circles." this suggests that mikoto was trying to control things he couldn't, maybe he was trying to control his own violent urges?? since this is the recent past, could be referring to the murder.
in the fourth position ("conscious: where is your mind? what are your assumptions? what is your focus?") is the ace of cups, which represents "friendship, compassion, emotional fulfillment, release." the extended definition says "this card presents a moment of emotional awakening - new, demined, or repressed feelings or overflowing. this fresh emotional energy can take the form of a new friendship, romantic relationship, or emotional release." i think this last one is most likely, maybe it refers to how his focus was on getting out his anger in committing the murder?
in the fifth position ("future: what is likely to happen if nothing changes? what are the short term possibilities?") is the fifth of swords, which is "bullying, deceit, hollow victory, intimidation, aggression." again, there's two ways i think of this; firstly, he's stuck in a cycle of his own aggression, or secondly, he feels like everyone else will treat HIM this way if he doesn't do something, which could tie into his headmate that committed the murder being a protector, and only killing because they felt threatened. the extended definition also says that there is no winner in the battle, so maybe this refers to how the guy was killed, but mikoto still went to milgram for it, he didn't really "win."
in the sixth position ("unconscious: what really drives this situation? what hidden factors are its foundation?") is the reversed ten of wands, which means "burnout, collapse, taking sole responsibility, burdens." this reminds me A LOT of host mikoto, as he's very burnt out from work and life in general. it makes a lot of sense if his current issues are driven by this intense stress, maybe causing him to act out to relieve that stress.
in the seventh position ("querent: what is the querent's view of this? how does that affect the situation?") is the reversed king of cups, which is "turbulent, repressed, wounded, bitter, uncaring, rage." again, makes a lot of sense, he represses his stress which causes him to become more prone to anger and lashing out. the extended definition even mentions "are you releasing your emotions in destructive ways? do you let them build until you lash out?" which suggests him killing the guy may have been his headmate at a snapping point.
in the eight position ("environment: what are the external influences? what is the social environment surrounding this situation?") is the reversed five of wands, which is "conflict avoidance, jealousy, rising tension, wounded ego, rivalry." maybe these things were going on in his workplace, potentially even with the guy he killed?
in the ninth position ("hopes and fears: what do you secretly desire? or what are you trying to avoid?") is the magician, which is "power, skill, manifestation, concentration, creation, will, intention." i think this is probably what he secretly desires, especially the power and will to break out of his current situation.
in the tenth position ("outcome: given the rest of the spread, what is the likely resolution? summary, theme, or advice.") is the devil, which is "shadow self, repression, addiction, playfulness, temptation, indulgence." this card is also emphasized as it's shown alone after the whole set appears, likely because it's the summary card. the shadow self part is obvious, but i think the repression and addiction could make sense too for mikoto. he represses his anger, and is shown to smoke. he could also be indulging himself in his anger by lashing out, and is often shown to have a playful attitude.
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