Here is the alternate ending of "Tough Love" where Snake chooses Susan.
Snake contemplated for a few more moments, leaving everyone in the plummeting space station in more suspense. He gave Sherri an apologetic look.
“You want to be with Doom, is that right?” Sherri assumed.
“Uh…kinda…yes…” Snake sighed. “I’m sorry. You’re not upset, are you?”
“Before, I probably would be. But this whole adventure has made me learn that some things don’t stay the same forever. Change is inevitable, which is why we should work through it instead of running away from it or trying to stop it from happening. And you know something else I’ve learned? Sometimes when you love someone, the best thing you can do is let them do what makes them happy. Because if they’re happy, you should be happy for them.”
Snake took a minute to process these words. “Are…are you sure? I don’t want either of us to regret anything later.”
“Snakey, in case you haven’t noticed, we’re mere minutes away from our demise. We’re not going to be able to regret anything after that. And even if we weren’t in such a situation, I would still be all right with your decision. Because no matter what, we’ll always be friends.”
Snake grinned at the guinea pig. “Gee, Sher. That means a lot. I-”
“Shh. No more talking now. Just go to her, Snakey. While you still can. Go to your Doom before you meet your other doom.”
“What? There is no other-”
Sherri lightly shoved Snake toward Doom. “Go!”
Snake made eye contact with the raven and blushed.
“Heh…hey…uh…I didn’t say it before, so um…thanks for the save back there.”
Doom returned his gaze and blushed as well. “Oh. No problem.”
“I’ll be honest, though. I wasn’t expectin’ it. Considerin’ you said you weren’t into me.”
Doom inched closer to Snake. “Why would you believe anything I say?”
“Oho…in that case, I hope what you said about hating the idea of sharing isn’t true either.”
“‘Cause right now, I wanna share some kisses with you…”
And then, the two of them kissed passionately. Everyone else (except Kitty, who was still unconscious from Diane’s beating) couldn’t help but find the scene heartwarming.
“They do make a cute couple.”
“Quick, someone think of a ship name for them!”
However, the gang’s looks of adoration soon turned to ones of disgust when Snake and Doom started drooling on each other like before.
“That’s just too much, man.”
Sherri, on the other hand, continued to smile. As nasty as the scene was, she was just glad that Snake had found happiness.
After another minute, Doom released Snake and the pair stared into each other’s eyes.
“I’m gonna miss doing that.” Doom confessed. “Y’know, since we’re about to crash and all.”
“Whoa, whoa!” Wolf took a seat in the pilot’s chair. “Not so fast! Who said we were gonna crash?”
“Um, the computer did.” Tarantula pointed out.
“Okay, yeah. But c’mon, computers aren’t always right. I’m sure it’s just overreacting.”
The station shook again and more flames enveloped it.
“Uh…” Wolf swallowed nervously as he looked out the window. “Okay, maybe not. Maybe we’re actually hurtling towards Earth in a tin can staring squarely into the face of death. But just because a situation looks bad, that doesn’t mean we should give up instantly. If there’s one thing I know about this crew it’s that we never give up. Because we have something stronger than fear. Stronger than gravity. Even stronger than true love. And that’s hope.”
Diane beamed. “Yeah…hope.”
“Exactly! So, you know what I say?” Wolf took the controls. “I say we’re gonna land this thing!”
“Do you even know how to do that?” Doom questioned.
“Nope! But I’m gonna try anyway! I’m not about to let this team die!”
The next day, the citizens of Los Angeles arrived at the funeral home where a service was being held for the Bad Guys, Diane, and Sherri. Pictures of the seven were set up on the stage, all of them surrounded by vases filled with lilies and white roses. Commissioner Luggins stood behind a podium while a fellow officer played a sad tune on the trumpet next to her.
“What those guys…” Luggins said tearfully. “Those brave, beautiful guys did up there, saving the world from a 24-karat catastrophe…despite all the rejection and suspicion, all the tiny humiliations…they did it for us! They didn’t do it for the fame or the glory, they did it for us! They weren’t just Good Guys…they were my best friends…and I would give anything to arrest them just one more time! This one’s for you, Wolfie!”
The buff policewoman held out a cup of coffee and dumped it out while crying hard. The attendees of the funeral started sobbing alongside her. Among them were Jeremiah Moon, Charles, Diane’s assistant Maureen, and even Tiffany Fluffit, the latter of which had a camera crew filming her as always.
“I for one am outraged that it took an evil space magnet for people to realize that the Bad Guys were worthy of our love all along. But it’s too late. Because now they’re dead. Ironically, the only survivors were the perpetrators of the heist, including the supercriminal known as ‘The Phantom Bandit.’ The bandit and her two colleagues were found inside one of the MoonX’s escape pods and were promptly arrested upon being discovered. And while a second pod was eventually found, it was tragically empty. Which is why, today, we mourn the loss of not just the Bad Guys, but also former governor, Diane Foxington. Sure, the politician was revealed to be an infamous thief herself, but her actions the other day proved that she is truly a good person at heart and wanted to leave her life of crime behind her. In addition to her, we also lost the city’s beloved good samaritan, Sherri Marmalade. I think it’s safe to say that due to her many contributions to our town, she will be missed the most. And even though rumors were speculated that the sweet little rodent was an accomplice in the Phantom Bandit’s scheme, I personally am skeptical. After all, given how her brother was recently vindicated, we can easily conclude that something as adorable as a guinea pig is incapable of being evil. Speaking of which, there is still an ongoing search for Professor Rupert Marmalade. He was last seen entering a golden limo and being pulled into space due to the gold magnet. Unlike every other valuable, however, the vehicle never returned to Earth. We fear he may be floating around in space…forever…”
As everyone at the service continued to cry, Commissioner Luggins made her exit. She heaved a sad sigh and then walked into an employees’ only room. Once she was sure she was out of earshot of the funeral guests, her sobs slowly morphed into laughter.
“Hahaha…hahaha…HAHAHAHAHA! Did I sell it or did I sell it?!”
Diane, Sherri, and the Bad Guys stood across from her, with bandages on various parts of their bodies.
“Uh, are you gonna tell us what this is all about?” Snake inquired as he adjusted the gauze on his head.
“Yeah,” Piranha sat up in a coffin. “‘Cause I don’t feel dead.”
“And who are the suits?” Tarantula gestured to a pair of men standing in the corner, both of whom had on black tuxedos.
“And why are they wearing sunglasses inside?” Shark blurted out randomly. “Hmmmm?”
“I know. I know it seems elaborate,” Luggins explained. “But trust me, it’s the best way if you want to do some serious good.”
One of the men stepped forward. “Gentlemen? Ladies? You have been identified as ideal candidates for a brand new, ultra elite unit of secret operatives that we’re calling ‘The International Super Galactic League of Protectors.’ Or for short…” he held out his wallet, displaying a badge with a strange name. “ISGLOP.”
The Bad Guys, Diane, and Sherri made confused faces.
“Sounds kinda made up.” Diane noted.
“Just like gold.” Shark mentioned.
Wolf shook his head. “I don’t understand. What’s happening?”
“I believe these two men are offering us a job, Wolfie.” Sherri answered.
“That is correct, ma’am.” the agent confirmed.
“Isn’t it great?” Luggins cut in. “You’re gonna be secret agents! Huh? Huh?”
The seven ex-cons exchanged excited grins.
“Secret agents? Get outta here!”
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”
Diane laughed at her friends’ enthusiasm. “I think it’s safe to say: we accept.”
One week later, after their injuries had healed, the Bad Guys and their female companions were ready for their first day on the job. When they showed up for work (discreetly as the world still thought they were dead), they were each given a suit and a pair of sunglasses to act as their uniforms. Then, they were escorted to a shiny white car, their mode of transport. Wolf got into the driver’s side while Diane took the passenger seat and everyone else buckled up in the back.
“Ready to get to work, Agent Wolf?” she asked her boyfriend.
“You know it…CP.” Wolf winked.
Sherri strapped herself in and pushed back her purple hair (she had been asked to keep it that way to protect her identity).
“I can hardly wait! This is going to be most exciting! Don’t you think, Snakey?”
Snake didn’t answer her, prompting her to look in his direction.
“Snakey? What’s the matter?”
“Huh?” Snake shook his head. “Oh. Sorry. I was just thinkin’ about…you-know-who.”
“Ah, yes. It’s all right. Believe me, I of all people understand how difficult it can be to wait for a loved one to be released from prison. But don’t worry. I’ve heard she didn’t get nearly as harsh a sentence as Kitty. She just has to do a few years of community service. You’ll see her sooner than you think.”
“Yeah, but she probably thinks I’m dead just like the rest of the world.”
Snake explained. “I wish there was a way to just let her know that I’m still around and that I’m waiting for her.”
Sherri thought for a moment. “Maybe there is. Wolfie? I understand we’re on a tight schedule, but think we can make a small detour?” she unbuckled her seatbelt to whisper her plan into Wolf’s ear.
“Huh. Not a bad idea, Scary Marmalade.” Wolf commented, flipping on his sunglasses. “Not bad at all.”
The gang soon got on the road, but before they drove off to their final destination, Wolf stopped at the edge of a major highway like Sherri had asked. Once they arrived, the rodent got out of the car holding something in her paws and gathered up some stones from the side of the road. All the while, Snake watched her from the car, having no idea what she was doing with those rocks, but from what he could tell, she appeared to be arranging them into something. After a few minutes, Sherri reentered the vehicle.
“You sure she’s gonna find it?” Snake asked Sherri.
“I’m positive.” Sherri nodded.
“Do you think she’ll know who it’s from?”
“Oh, I know she will. I even left her a little message.”
And with that, the newest ISGLOP agents rode off, ready to take on their first mission.
A few hours later and a prison truck arrived, carrying inmates who were assigned to pick up trash alongside the highway as part of their community service. Among those inmates were Pigtail and Doom. Ever since their arrest on the day of the heist, the two had promised to be on their best behavior in hopes of getting released early. Thus, they were the first ones to accept their trash pickers and the first ones to start working.
“I’ll take this side, you take the other?” Doom offered.
“Okey-dokey!” Pigtail nodded.
As Doom entered her “territory,” she spotted a strange formation of stones on the ground. Right as she was about to pick it up though, she noticed how the stones were arranged in a heart formation, which seemed too unlikely to be a coincidence. Curious, Doom scooped the paper up with her hand and unfolded it. Inside was a handwritten note that read: “Someone’s been thinking about you.” That’s when Doom discovered there had been something underneath the paper: a yellow button with a frowny-face, which she instantly recognized as one of the buttons from Snake’s signature hat. She smiled, happy to know that her boyfriend was still out there, waiting for her. And even though she wasn’t certain when she would see him next, she knew as long as Sherri was with him, he would be just fine.
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