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Guys, I’ve finally given up on this hellsite ever unflagging this blog that I have never once posted porn on
If you want to follow me for more and better organized shitposts with a few other things thrown in, my new blog is @jarl-bawlins and my writing blog is still @text-to-speech-impediment
Division of labor in the home is one of the most important equity issues of our time. Yet at this rate it will be another 75 years before men do half the work.
The optimistic tale of the modern, involved dad has been greatly exaggerated. The amount of child care men performed rose throughout the 1980s and ’90s, but then began to level off without ever reaching parity. Mothers still shoulder 65 percent of child-care work. In academic journals, family researchers caution that the “culture of fatherhood” has changed more than fathers’ actual behavior.
Sociologists attribute the discrepancy between mothers’ expectations and reality to “a largely successful male resistance.” This resistance is not being led by socially conservative men, whose like-minded wives often explicitly agree to take the lead in the home. It is happening, instead, with relatively progressive couples, and it takes many women — who thought their partners had made a prenatal commitment to equal parenting — by surprise. Why are their partners failing to pitch in more?
The answer lies, in part, in the different ways that men and women typically experience unfairness. Inequality makes everyone feel bad. Studies have found that people who feel they’re getting away with something experience fear and self-reproach, while people who feel exploited are angry and resentful. And yet men are more comfortable than women with the first scenario and less tolerant than women of finding themselves with the short end of the stick. Parity is hard, and this discrepancy lays the groundwork for male resistance.
Though many men are in denial about it, their resistance communicates a feeling of entitlement to women’s labor. Men resist because it is in their “interest to do so,” write Scott Coltrane and Michele Adams, leaders in the field of family studies, in their book, “Gender and Families.” By passively refusing to take an equal role, men are reinforcing “a separation of spheres that underpins masculine ideals and perpetuates a gender order privileging men over women.”
While interviewing working parents for a book on parenthood, I spoke with one dad in Vermont who said: “The expectation among my male friends is still that they will have the life they had before having kids. My dad has never cooked a meal. I’ve strayed from that. But subconsciously, the thing that makes you motivationally step up and do something when you’re not being asked …” he trailed off, and then said: “I have justifications. It’s a cop-out.”
Take love out of the equation and focus on the workplace, and it’s clear how this plays out. Studies show that male employees sit back while their female co-workers perform the tasks that don’t lead to promotion. In a series of lab studies, the economists Lise Vesterlund, Linda Babcock and Maria Recalde and the organizational behaviorist Laurie Weingart found that in coed groups, women are 50 percent more likely than men to volunteer to take on work that no one else wants to do. But in all-male groups, the men volunteer just as readily.
In an interview with NPR, Dr. Vesterlund explained that the women do the work “because they’re expected to.” The men “come into the room, they see the women, they know how we play these games.”
We play the same games at home. I interviewed couples separately and found that the women were often angry, while many men didn’t seem to realize there was a problem.
The couples offered three explanations for this labor imbalance. The first was that women take over activities like bedtime, homework and laundry because men perform these tasks inadequately. But this isn’t “maternal gatekeeping,” the theory that men want to help but women disparage their capabilities and push them out. Instead these seem to be situations that necessitate the intervention of a reasonable adult.
A mother in California said: “It’s important to me that my sons are not falling asleep in class and that they’re not late for school. My husband does not share those priorities, so I do bedtime and school drop-off.”
The dad in Vermont explained: “I do laundry when I need it. When it comes to the kids’ laundry, I could be more proactive, but instead I operate on my time scale. So my wife does most of their laundry. Let me do it my way and I’m happy to do it, but if you’re going to tell me how to do it, go ahead and do it yourself.”
The second explanation involved forgetting or obliviousness. A mother in Illinois said: “My husband is a participatory and willing partner. He’s not traditional in terms of ‘I don’t change diapers.’ But his attention is limited.” She added, “I can’t trust him to do anything, to actually remember.”
A dad in San Francisco said that many of the tasks of parenting weren’t important enough to remember: “I just don’t think these things are worth attending to. A certain percentage of parental involvement that my wife does, I would see as valuable but unnecessary. A lot of disparity in our participation is that.”
Finally, some men blamed their wives’ personalities. A San Diego dad said his wife did more because she was so uptight. “She wakes up on a Saturday morning and has a list. I don’t keep lists. I think there’s a belief that if she’s not going to do it, then it won’t get done.” (His wife agreed that this was true, but emphasized that her belief was based on experience: “We fell into this easy pattern where he learned to be oblivious and I learned to resent him.”)
A father in Portland, Ore., confirmed that his wife takes on more but said: “It has to do with her personality. She always has to stay busy. No matter what day of the week it is, she has a need to be engaged, to be doing something.”
Many mothers told me they had tried to change this and had aired their grievances with their partners, only to watch as nothing changed. A mother in Queens said she spent three years trying to get her husband to do more before coming to terms with the fact that maybe it was never going to happen. “He notices the unfairness, but he just accepts it as something we have a disagreement about,” she said. “How much convincing of the other person can you do?”
All this comes at a cost to women’s well-being, as mothers forgo leisure time, professional ambitions and sleep. Wives who view their household responsibilities “as unjust are more likely to suffer from depression than those who do not,” one study says. When their children are young, employed women (but not men) take a hit to their health as well as to their earnings — and the latter never recovers. Child-care imbalances also tank relationship happiness, especially in the early years of parenthood.
Division of labor in the home is one of the most important gender-equity issues of our time. Yet at the current rate of change, MenCare, a group that promotes equal involvement in caregiving, estimates that it will be about 75 more years before men worldwide assume half of the unpaid work that domesticity requires.
If anything is going to change, men have to stop resisting. Gendered parenting is kept alive by the unacknowledged power bestowed upon men in a world that values their needs, comforts and desires more than women’s. It’s up to fathers to cop to this, rather than to cop out.
my coworkers and I were just talking about this today oh man
being on T is like a slomo werewolf transformation:
A. More muscleses
B. Gettin hairier
C. Unending desire for raw meat
so it turns out im anemic
video game engines are amazing because they can make it so sunlight filters through leaves casting dozens of little rays in your eyes just like in real life and then you turn around and there’s a whole ass horse just swimming in circles in midair
half the notes are “you can say Skyrim” and half of them are “you can say Red Dead Redemption” but plot twist, this was Assassin’s Creed Odyssey
“I have done several abortions on women who have regularly picketed my clinics, including a 16 year old schoolgirl who came back to picket the day after her abortion, about three years ago. During her whole stay at the clinic, we felt that she was not quite right, but there were no real warning bells. She insisted that the abortion was her idea and assured us that all was OK. She went through the procedure very smoothly and was discharged with no problems. A quite routine operation. Next morning she was with her mother and several school mates in front of the clinic with the usual anti posters and chants. It appears that she got the abortion she needed and still displayed the appropriate anti views expected of her by her parents, teachers, and peers.” (Physician, Australia)
“I’ve had several cases over the years in which the anti-abortion patient had rationalized in one way or another that her case was the only exception, but the one that really made an impression was the college senior who was the president of her campus Right-to-Life organization, meaning that she had worked very hard in that organization for several years. As I was completing her procedure, I asked what she planned to do about her high office in the RTL organization. Her response was a wide-eyed, ‘You’re not going to tell them, are you!?’ When assured that I was not, she breathed a sigh of relief, explaining how important that position was to her and how she wouldn’t want this to interfere with it.” (Physician, Texas)
“In 1990, in the Boston area, Operation Rescue and other groups were regularly blockading the clinics, and many of us went every Saturday morning for months to help women and staff get in. As a result, we knew many of the ‘antis’ by face. One morning, a woman who had been a regular ‘sidewalk counselor’ went into the clinic with a young woman who looked like she was 16-17, and obviously her daughter. When the mother came out about an hour later, I had to go up and ask her if her daughter’s situation had caused her to change her mind. ‘I don’t expect you to understand my daughter’s situation!’ she angrily replied. The following Saturday, she was back, pleading with women entering the clinic not to ‘murder their babies.’” (Clinic escort, Massachusetts)
“We too have seen our share of anti-choice women, ones the counselors usually grit their teeth over. Just last week a woman announced loudly enough for all to hear in the recovery room, that she thought abortion should be illegal. Amazingly, this was her second abortion within the last few months, having gotten pregnant again within a month of the first abortion. The nurse handled it by talking about all the carnage that went on before abortion was legalized and how fortunate she was to be receiving safe, professional care. However, this young woman continued to insist it was wrong and should be made illegal. Finally the nurse said, ‘Well, I guess we won’t be seeing you here again, not that you’re not welcome.’ Later on, another patient who had overheard this exchange thanked the nurse for her remarks.” (Clinic Administrator, Alberta)
“We saw a woman recently who after four attempts and many hours of counseling both at the hospital and our clinic, finally, calmly and uneventfully, had her abortion. Four months later, she called me on Christmas Eve to tell me that she was not and never was pro-choice and that we failed to recognize that she was clinically depressed at the time of her abortion. The purpose of her call was to chastise me for not sending her off to the psych unit instead of the procedure room.” (Clinic Administrator, Alberta)
“Recently, we had a patient who had given a history of being a ‘pro-life’ activist, but who had decided to have an abortion. She was pleasant to me and our initial discussion was mutually respectful. Later, she told someone on my staff that she thought abortion is murder, that she is a murderer, and that she is murdering her baby. So before doing her procedure, I asked her if she thought abortion is murder – the answer was yes. I asked her if she thought I am a murderer, and if she thought I would be murdering her baby, and she said yes. But murder is a crime, and murderers are executed. Is this a crime? Well, it should be, she said. At that point, she became angry and hostile, and the summary of the conversation was that she regarded me as an abortion-dispensing machine, and how dare I ask her what she thinks. After explaining to her that I do not perform abortions for people who think I am a murderer or people who are angry at me, I declined to provide her with medical care. I do not know whether she found someone else to do her abortion.” (Physician, Colorado)
“In 1973, after Roe v. Wade, abortion became legal but had to be performed in a hospital. That of course was changed later. For the first ‘legal abortion day’ I had scheduled five procedures. While scrubbing between cases, I was accosted by the Chief of the OB/Gyn service. He asked me, ‘How many children are you going to kill today?’ My response, out of anger, was a familiar vulgar retort. About three months later, this born-again Christian called me to explain that he was against abortion but his daughter was only a junior in high school and was too young to have a baby and he was also afraid that if she did have a baby she would not want to put it up for adoption. I told him he did not need to explain the situation to me. ‘All I need to know’, I said, ‘is that SHE wants an abortion.’ Two years later I performed a second abortion on her during her college break. She thanked me and pleaded, ‘Please don’t tell my dad, he is still anti-abortion.’” (Physician, Washington State)
“The sister of a Dutch bishop in Limburg once visited the abortion clinic in Beek where I used to work in the seventies. After entering the full waiting room she said to me, ‘My dear Lord, what are all those young girls doing here?’ ‘Same as you’, I replied. ‘Dirty little dames,’ she said.” (Physician, The Netherlands)
“I had a patient about ten years ago who traveled up to New York City from South Carolina for an abortion. I asked her why she went such a long way to get the procedure. Her answer was that she was a member of a church group that didn’t believe in abortion and she didn’t want anyone to know she was having one. She planned to return to the group when she went back to South Carolina.” (Physician, New York)
“I once had a German client who greatly thanked me at the door, leaving after a difficult 22-week abortion. With a gleaming smile, she added: ‘Und doch sind Sie ein Mörderer.’ (‘And you’re still a murderer.’)” (Physician, The Netherlands)
“My first encounter with this phenomenon came when I was doing a 2-week follow-up at a family planning clinic. The woman’s anti-choice values spoke indirectly through her expression and body language. She told me that she had been offended by the other women in the abortion clinic waiting room because they were using abortion as a form of birth control, but her condom had broken so she had no choice! I had real difficulty not pointing out that she did have a choice, and she had made it! Just like the other women in the waiting room.” (Physician, Ontario)
“A 21 year old woman and her mother drove three hours to come to their appointment for an abortion. They were surprised to find the clinic a 'nice’ place with friendly, personable staff. While going over contraceptive options, they shared that they were Pro-Life and disagreed with abortion, but that the patient could not afford to raise a child right now. Also, she wouldn’t need contraception since she wasn’t going to have sex until she got married, because of her religious beliefs. Rather than argue with them, I saw this as an opportunity for dialogue, and in the end, my hope was that I had planted a 'healing seed’ to help resolve the conflict between their beliefs and their realities.” (Physician, Washington State)
“I had a 37 year old woman just yesterday who was 13 weeks. She said she and her husband had been discussing this pregnancy for 2-3 months. She was strongly opposed to abortion, 'but my husband is forcing me to do it.’ Naturally, I told her that no one could force her into an abortion, and that she had to choose whether the pregnancy or her husband were more important. I told her I only wanted what was best for her, and I would not do the abortion unless she agreed that it was in her best interest. Once she was faced with actually having to voice her own choice, she said 'Well, I made the appointment and I came here, so go ahead and do it. It’s what’s best.’ At last I think she came to grips with the fact that it really was her decision after all.” (Physician, Nevada)
“We have anti-choice women in for abortions all the time. Many of them are just naive and ignorant until they find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. Many of them are not malicious. They just haven’t given it the proper amount of thought until it completely affects them. They can be judgmental about their friends, family, and other women. Then suddenly they become pregnant. Suddenly they see the truth. That it should only be their own choice. Unfortunately, many also think that somehow they are different than everyone else and they deserve to have an abortion, while no one else does.” (Physician, Washington State)
Theres no way there are this many stories like this
Oh yeah. And more.
This is the fundamental attribution error. I’m a good person in a bad situation. Those people are slutty baby-killers.
fucking hell… he was lead designer and project director for that shit
sad to see him getting into bed with the DSA
LOL stay mad about it you fucking loser
New Vegas: All states, even democratic ones, sustain themselves through violence and coercion, and free-market libertarianism involves an extreme of state violence for the purpose of acquiring and retaining capital. American exceptionalism is a deeply violent ideology that has the capacity to rip the world to shreds, and “American traditionalism” was never more than a shroud for that violence in the first place. Also the only people that actually care about making the Wasteland a better place are the anarchists giving out free healthcare.
this guy: wow….I can’t believe he would say political things….even Socialisty things…this is completely new to me…….
I swear “Gamers™” are the most oblivious pricks on Earth.
Pretty much everyone trying to do satire has to come to terms now with the fact that people were apparently never self aware enough to get it and if they did get it it still never changed their perspective on anything
gamers complain so much about games they don’t like “being politicized” because they’re too fucking stupid to see the blatantly obvious politics in games they do like
I’m just gonna boil this post down to the logical conclusion and say gamers are, in general, fucking stupid
HELLO???????? TAIWAN HAS OFFICIALLY LEGALIZED SAME SEX MARRIAGE. AKA THE FIRST IN ASIA
I SWEAR TO YALL PLEASE DON’T SLEEP ON THIS IT’S A HUGE STEP FOR NOT ONLY TAIWAN BUT ALSO THE ENTIRE ASIA. WE MADE IT AND THERE IS ONLY MORE TO COME
Horror games are so fascinating to me. Too bad I’m a massive scaredy cat and can’t directly play any of them.
game developers- so we have monsters, demons and whatnot in this game, we worked really hard so they’d be scary
me from a distance- absolutely fantastic you nerds. give me more.
aka "some cool trans women got airtime in 1973 to tell their own stories, and I sure have feelings about it"
anything that contains the phrase “secret BBC memo reveals” intrigues me automatically ngl but I want you all to know that as far as I can gather, the facts are even better than this headline
which is to say, this was part of an initiative in the early 1970s that not only featured marginalized groups on BBC programming, but made moves towards handing them editorial control – the BBC had to approve proposals, but after that, the station’s role was primarily to provide technical resources, facilities, and copyright handling. (another notable program under this initiative featured Black teachers discussing racism in the school system, and a link to that – plus discussion of the hurdles it faced – can be found here).
the program on trans experience was aired in 1973.
The programme, featuring trans women, began: “Jokes about ‘the operation’ are all that most people know about transexualism [sic]. Tonight’s group discuss their situation in a more serious and comprehensive way, and draw attention to the many difficulties they endure”.
you can watch Open Door: Transex Liberation Group here (as well as other archived LGBTQ programming from BBC).
1: hell yeah
2: David Attenborough was a childhood hero of mine and i’m glad to see he was always a champ
3: look at these related articles
a hijabi mermaid for mermay! also ramadan mobarak everyone!
Okay this is really clever
you vaccinate your kids ? i squirt lemon in my son’s eyes to make him stronger against viruses . i activate his fight or flight response . he is so powerful he can now eat entire lemons , peel included .. tell me again how your vaccinated child isn’t inferior ?
😂😂😂😂 because my kid isnt going to die from polio. I could give two shits if she could power down a whole lemon.
my son has been trained to eat polio while your kid struggles to even eat a simple yellow fruit . Pathetic
Omg… your antivax mentality is so deluded that i cannot even begin to explain how you cannot eat polio because your tiny pinhead mind wouldnt be able to process it. Also, literally everything you have said qualifies as child abuse. I hope someone takes your kid away from you so they actually get a chance to live a decent and normal life free of debilitating diseases.
He has mastered laying eggs while your child learns the ABDs , don’t think for a second that they are the same . Your son is 2 ft getting no hoes while my son is 6’4 getting chicks daily . Don’t ever call my head a pin again
The Adventures of Sikh Captain America
“Not all superheroes are fictional. For example: Vishavjit Singh, the first Sikh Captain America. An editorial cartoonist by trade, a few months ago he suited up as a real-life turbaned and bearded version of Jack Kirby’s strongman and strode through New York City, to promote his Sikh Comics while fighting religious and ethnic stereotypes.”
[ Follow SuperheroesInColor on facebook / twitter / tumblr ]
it’s him…. the bastard man…
You take that back
Where the fuck did they get those numbers from?
“Average” means the small number of superwealthy are dragging the numbers way up, I assume
Dr Glass did a quick and dirty run of the numbers, and discovered that The Average American spent $67 a year on purchasing Fine Art. That’s almost $6 a month on unnecessary marble sculptures, Renaissance paintings and priceless antiques! Why, that’s $24 a month on Fine Art purchases per family of four - that’s absolutely ridiculous! I can’t believe the average American family WILLFULLY spends that much money in the fine arts market.
That could be cut out of your budget without noticing it! Nobody NEEDS to have Old Masters hanging in every room of your house, and until every man, woman, child and baby SAVES that $67 dollars each year instead of blowing it on priceless sterling silver soup tureens, they shouldn’t complain about being poor! EVERYONE is culpable in wasting money collecting COMPLETELY needless amounts of antiquities and modern masterpieces!
… if it isn’t obvious, the Average American (a population that necessarily includes babies, retired veterans, schoolchildren, broke students, minimum-wage workers, and folks of every walk of life) does NOT spend $6 a month on fine art. The numbers are dragged upwards by the 1% of Americans who do.
Anyway, I thought this was a super cute little exercise, and Dr Glass gave me permission to share it here. The numbers are quick and dirty.
First, he found a source for the statement that “the global art economy grew [in 2017] with $63.7 billion in total global sales.” [discussion article x] [published report x] (Note that the report it’s based on is easily found via the discussion article. Note that the lead economist is named and assigned responsibility. Note that the methodology is VERY clear.) The linked article stated that the United States accounted for 35% of this commerce. 35% of 63.7 billion is $22,295,000,000 - we will say $22 billion dollars for convenience. Therefore, the citizens of the United States spent a total of $22 billion dollars on purchasing Fine Art in 2017.
In 2017, the population of the United States of America was 325.7 million.
22 billion divided by 325.7 million is 67.
Therefore, each American spent an average of $67 on Fine Art in 2017.
As this apparently did not happen - as the average American is not in a position to buy many priceless antiques - then it must have been the stereotypical Upper Classes who bought the art.
From the source above: “Arts Economics teamed with UBS to survey 2,245 American millionaires and billionaires (the kinds of people who don’t usually like to fill out surveys), and found that 35% of them collected art and antiques in 2017.”
There you go. That’s who bought all the unnecessary fine art. The responsibility for “unnecessary” and “non-essential” spending of money should be assigned to the people who spent it, not distributed equally among the entire population. Because while you CAN say that the “average American spent an average of $67 on Fine Art in 2017,” those numbers are weaselly and unhelpful. They are not a reflection of individual experiences, and do not accurately convey the economic reality of the nation - so what good are they?
It’s fairly unclear how USA Today gathered their own numbers - they claim it was “research commissioned by Ladder and conducted by OnePoll” - but although I was eventually able to work out that Ladder appears to be a financial corporation with a life insurance arm, I was unable to find their original research in order to scrutinize their methodology. The supposed “report” is not easy for a trained researcher to find, it certainly wasn’t conducted by a named reputable economist, and they could literally be pulling numbers out of their asses, not publishing them anywhere, and sending a junk press release to a journo at USA Today.
To Quote a phrase popularized by Mark Twain: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”
To Quote my English Teacher who should have been teaching math but he had a boner for Shakespeare: “If statistics ever provoke an emotion other than discombobulation, whatever’s being cited has, at best, been over-simplified to the point of uselessness, but is more likely pulled directly from someone’s ass.”
More Than Ten Years on Testosterone - Is It Safe??
Have you ever worried about the possible long-term effects of being on Testosterone?
Well, you can relax because science has your back.
Italian researchers concluded in 2014 that “Testosterone administration in FtM subjects has a good safety profile” after finding “no significant serious adverse effects and no clinically relevant changes” in 45 FTM patients treated for at least 10 years with T.
Also notable: “Liver and kidney function tests did not show any significant changes.”
The aim of the study was to assess the effects and safety of Testosterone administration on body weight, lipid profile, hematological and bone parameters in trans men.
Source: Safety of More Than Ten Years Testosterone Administration in FTM Subjects. Cristina Meriggiola, MD, PhD, Antonietta Costantino, PhD, Carla Pelusi, MD, Martina Lambertini, MD, Alberto Bazzocchi, MD. Book of Abstracts, WPATH 2014 Biennial International Symposium.
Related Studies:
Largest Study to Date: Transgender Hormone Treatment Safe (2014)
Long-term cross-sex hormone treatment is safe in transsexual subjects. Cristina Meriggiola M, Berra M. Asian Journal of Andrology. 2012;14(6):813-814. doi:10.1038/aja.2012.89.
Also see: Myths and Misconceptions about Testosterone - FTM Guide
This is wonderful to read! Thanks @m–xx 🙌🏾👏🏾
we medical professionals DO all agree what this small study says: hormones are safe. The “largest study to date” below (at link) also agrees- hormones are not without risks, but after 5+ years and thousands of patients studied, the risks are LESS than medically feared (possibly due to using more targeted doses now versus 20+ years ago). For males, that includes weight gain, muscle pain, and liver function changes- at lower rates than they originally had been expected. (women on feminizing hormones also were found to have blood clots less frequently, along with weight gain, high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke). These results are considered “reassuring” to medical professionals- and should be reassuring to people seeking hormones and their family. All treatment is not without risk, but knowing that the risk is low should help.
[image description: five medicine bottles filled with clear liquid against a white background. In front of the bottles is a syringe that is clear with a reddish-orange tip. To the left, there is text that reads “10 years on testosterone”.]
