No. Not really. I haven't been fine. Not for a long time. But I say I'm fine to get them to leave. To get them to stop asking "you sure?." To get them to stop saying "You can talk to me when you need to. " Then they ask if I'm tired. Yeah I'm tired. But not the way you're thinking. I'm tired of myself. I'm tired of life. I'm tired of people asking me if I'm ok when they can see I'm not. I'm tired of being sad every freaking day. I'm tired of people thinking it's a mood that comes and goes. I'm tired of people not understanding and then assuming things that they don't even know. I'm tired of faking it. I'm tired of finally being happy and then getting even lower. I'm tired of people asking why I "act" sad when they don't get that it's not a freaking act. If I was that good of an actor I'd be famous right now. But I'm not an actor. I'm not famous. I sometimes don't know how to hide the fact that I'm lower than normal. I'm tired of people assuming. I'm tired of people not having some freaking empathy of what people with depression go through. It's as serious as something physical. They just can't see it. That's why they don't understand. They can't see so they don't believe. They can't see so they don't understand. They can't see so they have no empathy. They have no proof until you commit suicide. Then they wonder why you got no help. Then they wonder why you were so stupid to do that. But they don't understand. They really don't. They don't get that it's so freaking hard to talk. It's so freaking hard to make people understand. It's so freaking hard to get help. It's not until you're gone that they realize that when you do tell them stuff it's your way of asking for help. They don't realize until you're gone that when you said you were sad they were needing your help. They were needing you to understand. Or to try to understand. They don't realize that every freaking day we want it to go away. They don't realize that we didn't choose to have this. We didn't choose to be sad. They don't realize that when we say we don't want to talk to anyone that we actually mean that we do want someone to talk to. We want someone to vent to. We want someone to help us get better or tell us that we're not broken. That we're fixable. That we're loveable. You don't realize that when you say that you're going to tell someone, that they actually do want you to tell someone but they're too scared to do it themselves. They're too scared to admit that they need help.
gamechangershow
titsay
2087
snowghoul
stormborns
