first appearance on the cover of marie claire, 2007, one page interview
first appearance on the cover of vogue, 2009, double page interview
nomination for best actress, the concubine, 21st buil film awards, 2012
canon korea camera page cf, 2012
first hera cf, 2013
first sprite cf, brand model, 2014
first chamisul soju cf, brand model, 2015
new face of ditier dubot, ambassadorship, 2015 - 2016
excellence award, actress in a genre drama - won, dr. romantic, 24th SBS drama awards, 2016
SK TELEKOM cf, sk telekom brand model, 2016
top 10 stars - won, dr. romantic, 24th SBS drama awards, 2016
nomination for best actress, the lady in dignity, 1st the seoul awards, 2017
hyundai car cf, 2017
vogue korea cover, 2017, spread, sponsored by burberry
samsung galaxy s8 cf, 2017
nomination for best actress, the lady in dignity, 54th baeksang arts awards, 2018
lancome ambassadorship, 2017-2018
PAST
‘you’re a star, baby, you’re a star!’ comes a voice behind a beautiful camera lens and with such sweetness filling up her ears, all that yeoreum can do is drown in it like a bee in the most tempting jar of honey. she strikes a different pose a few moments later, turning her entire face towards the camera with a smile of a woman who knows what she wants. this is her world, her stage and her domain, this is how queens are made and greeted; with a thunderous applause.
but just as she’s about to switch to yet another pose, the cameraman calls for a short recess, leaving yeoreum in a state of utter surprise. it can’t be over so soon, can it? she’s a star, he said it himself, so then why is she being treated like every other girl in this room? she’s everything but ordinary - everybody says so, and if everybody says so then it most certainly must be true.
‘i think we’re done for now. they want you over there for the interview part. go and dazzle them, my most beautiful rose, show them who rules the world,’ the words of reassurance roll off the cameraman’s tongue with a silk smoothness, stroking her ego in ways that shouldn’t be humanly possible. praise is good, praise is crucial, but everything can be lethal in large doses, overly corrosive.
…
with everything in place and her makeup once more fixed, she sits down on a chair specifically marked for her and gives the woman before her a fleeting smile, almost as if she doesn’t want to be there, as if everything that others do is below her status.
‘miss jung, it’s my greatest pleasure to be conducting this interview with you. i’m kang hana and today i wish to let our readers get a glimpse into the life of the glamorous jung yeoreum.’
‘so tell me, how does it feel to be the very jung yeoreum? the woman who doesn’t even need an introduction.’
for a brief second she remains silent, pressing her trembling lips together in thought.
it feels… well it is everything. my name and my face are all that i have, but most of you will never know how good it feels to have others chant your name and sing your praises as you walk past them. it’s the only thing that keeps me going, it’s the only thing that’s real in my life and most would dare to call my life empty and me a wretched whore who would sell her entire body for fame and power and praise, but we all sell ourselves in one way or the other. i’m just really good at what i do. you wish you could hate and maybe you do hate me, but that’s only because when you were little girls you dreamed of being in my world. and for men who loathe me, they loathe me because they don’t own me.
but the only words that in the end leave her lips are, ‘i don’t even know where to begin, but i don’t know how it feels. i’m just like everybody else, i just so happen to be in your favorite shows or on the covers of your most liked magazines. it’s a job like any other and i’m grateful for everything that i have, grateful for all the love that i receive. being jung yeoreum feels like being loved by millions of souls. it is the most heartwarming thing in the world.’
PRESENT
sitting alone on her spacious balcony and with a cigarette between her lips, all that yeoreum can think about is how awfully small the world looks from above. she’s alone and it’s a suffocating kind of loneliness as she can barely face the the sudden and jarring halt of all of her activities, the unexpected downfall of her company.
is this how it ends? with her quietly fading into oblivion? no protest, no fights, not even a single word? is this how it goes? why must she be punished for sins that she didn’t commit?
she misses the flashing lights, the roaring masses and heart-stopping applause. they can’t promise her the stars and then just leave her all by herself in the desert.
hiatus - they said, it won’t last long. we just need to survive this crisis.
but how much time does she have to spear? time is cruel towards women like her, time waits for no one, especially not for beautiful actresses whose power only diminishes with each passing day. what if the world forget about her? she’s already at the beginning of her thirties, so how much does she truly have left?
everybody knows how women are ruthlessly treated. how easy and simple it is to replace them with someone younger and more beautiful. there always comes another, the one who steals all of the spotlight.
but may god damn jung yeoreum if she lets that happen to her. she mustn’t and won’t let any seemingly starry-eyed whore rob her of her place in the sun.
she’ll be back and she’ll defy all those who dream of doubting her power.
let it be known that you can’t become jung yeoreum over night.
you can’t become jung yeoreum at all.
for there is already one who bears that name and power. there can always be only one.
first brand deal, innisfree brand ambassador, march 2010 - june 2012
netizen popularity award (female), mbc drama awards, december 2013
birthday fanmeeting kpop dance cover video, viral clip (5.5 million views), september 2016
best icon award (drama), asia artist awards, november 2016
excellence award, actress in a mid-length drama, kbs drama awards, december 2016
popular actress (television division) winner, 53rd baeksang arts award, may 2017
PAST
“and the winner for the most popular actress on television is… yoo dahye of love in the moonlight.”
her eyes grow wide as the camera pans towards her, and she’s absolutely shocked to say the least. the senior actress beside her urges her to get up and get on stage to receive the award. this isn’t dahye’s first run at the rodeo—she’s been to award shows before—but each time she wins something it always feels like the first. plus, the baeksang arts awards felt a bit different. a little more prestigious than the regular television station drama award shows though she was grateful for those as well.
the applause is deafening as she makes her way onto the stage. the trophy feels almost a little too heavy for her arms, but she takes it with a blinding smile and takes the bouquet of flowers that is offered to her as well. when she steps towards the microphone, she doesn’t even realize that she’s tearing up. her vision is blurred, and she finds that it’s useful because she thinks she’ll freeze upon seeing the many faces in front of her.
there’s one loud cheer as she tries to collect her words, and she swears she hears one fan scream “don’t cry, dahye-yah!”. she’s trying her best not to, but then a single tear streams down from her left eye, and she knows she has to try her best to at least say something.
the next two minutes are so are a complete blur, and it’s almost like she’s woken up from a trance. before she knows it, she’s being escorted backstage, her manager there to greet her with a tight hug. she thanks the staff members that are there for her before taking one last look at her trophy. it’s heavy, and she’s not sure how much the weight is worth it.
PRESENT
this is her first time stepping into the company building in two years. she freezes at the doorway because it feels so brand new despite this having been her home for so many years prior to the scandal. the faces in the lobby are all brand new, and she’s shaking with fear at the fact that she’s going to have to get used to this brand new environment.
stepping into the elevator, she lets out a breath that she hadn’t realized she’s been keeping in. there were lots of eyes on her in that short walk from the front door to the elevator, and she could hear the gears running in their heads. dahye likes to think that she’s still relevant. god, she’s hoping that she’s still relevant because she doesn’t know what she’d do if she wasn’t.
before the abrupt hiatus, she had been unsure what path she wanted to go down. sure, she was receiving all this love and support thanks to the success of love in the moonlight, but she disliked the fact that it solidified her into some historical drama princess. she had wanted to venture out into different genres if she could, and it felt like that one drama was making things difficult.
now looking back at it, however, she’s feeling thankful that she even got all that love and support in the first place. guess what people say about feeling gratitude for lost things is true after all. her close friends and family have told her that nobody seems to have come and snatched up that title just yet, and she’s aware of all the supportive comments that her fans had been leaving her, but she still can’t help but be a little worried.
all she wants to do now is film any drama or movie that comes her way. dahye never thought she’d say this, but she’s missed acting. she’s missed being in the public eye. she missed feelings like she belonged in the world. the elevator dings as it’s reached its destinations, and the doors open. she’s hoping that this is all a metaphor for how her career is about to open up once more.
2013, best new model by korea fashion photographers association
2013, seoul fashion week, juun.j s/s
2013, signs under kbc entertainment
2013, acting debut, the heirs
2014, model for adidas
2015, model for calvin klein
2016, model for jo malone
2017, variety show, youn’s kitchen
2017, music video, abandoned (eclissi)
2017, first lead role, while you were sleeping
PAST
“it is easy, yijeong,” the pd reassures him, smelling his nervousness from miles away. he clings to his highlighted script. he spent all night going over the seven lines. sometimes he does not know why he agreed to that contract, and this career, if he was doing so well. but it is easy. a cameo in a drama about rich children. of course it should be easy for him: such is his life. family connections are what brought him to this film set, many will say and maybe they are right.
“you are so much more handsome in—sorry!” the makeup artist lets out as she applies powder on his nose. yijeong smiles at her as a sign of gratitude for the compliment. at least he has it, his face, his height, his shoulders. what else do people fawn over? the assistant waves at him to get ready. he is about to shoot his first scene ever. and he cannot understand why he finds the camera so intimidating when he is trained to adopt a new position on command.
“roll sound, roll camera,” he can feel the clapperboard slapping near his face.
PRESENT
“yijeong, i have pilates class in 30 minutes, will you join me?” he can hear his mother knock on his door. yijeong wants to say no so badly, yet he gives in. he is unable to deny any request coming from his parents given the safe haven they always represented. he has already lost count of the months after everything fell apart. at least, the comments about him have dissipated over time. yijeong remembers facepalming whenever he read a complaint about his first lead role.
“you need to exercise now that you are back on track! i will be downstairs!” those are her last words before she leaves. yijeong is sure that people will be more interested in whether he took acting classes, and yes, he did. he cannot tell if he is doing better at all, still, it is a matter of time to figure it out. his new manager instructed him to report to the new building with a promise to return to television. one more chance to show that maybe he has the right to call himself an actor.
he searches through his closet to find some sportwear.
2011, Hello, Counselor—Guest (Interacting with fans and giving them advice)
2011, Cosmopolitan Magazine—Interview (About his growth as an actor and growing popularity)
2012, KBS Drama Awards—Best Actor in Lead Role
2013, Nike—Spokesperson (Promoted using his athletic background)
2014, Ader Error—Spokesperson (Fashion Brand he recently was able to wear)
2014, GQ Magazine—Cover, double-page Interview (Addressing his party lifestyle and upcoming projects)
2014, Dasom Community Children Center—Public Spokesperson (Donated monthly—became public knowledge)
2015, Global Talk Show—Guest (Interacted with international audience, gained a small following)
2016, Scarlet Heart Ryeo—Lead Role (Gained an audience of older fans)
2016, KBS Drama Awards—Best Lead Actor in Historical Drama
2018, Vogue Magazine—Center, double-page Interview (Where are They Now? Scandal interview)
PAST
Cho Bo-Seon listened intently to the child in front him. The little boy’s eyes lit up like little stars as he described Bo-Seon’s most recent character from a drama that started airing last month. He’d been on a promo tour since before it premiered and had been growing weary, thinking about a party his friend was going to hold in a few more weeks. All he had wanted during this tour was to live it up at the high-class clubs, let loose, and bask in his wealth. He kept thinking this until his manager brought him to his next stop: a youth community center for troubled kids. It focused on providing access to the performing arts for kids in impoverished neighborhoods.
Why did they put this as a stop? He wondered this to himself as he’d stepped inside with the rest of the cast and crew. It was a moment of silence before Bo-Seon’s ears were slammed with the screeches of excited children and teens, then the physical presence of kids. They all looked up at him, awestruck and innocent. Bo-Seon could feel a tingling sensation from his down to his toes, but he wasn’t sure what that meant. He found he couldn’t look away from the dozens of doe eyes planted firmly on him.
And so here he is now, the A-list actor listening attentively to the boy sitting cross-legged in front of him. Bo-Seon had done so many fan meetings that they’d started to blur as the years passed. The fans he’d met, older, a bit more intense, and occasionally meeting one who thought they were soulmates. It had become mentally exhausting. His manager had seen the strain and frustration, tried to tell him that he shouldn’t take the fans for granted. Bo-Seon only laughed it off. He’d forgotten what it felt like to feel gratitude for his fans, they’re support and interest in him and his work.
But now he remembered. He understood. It was only now as he observed the boy that he felt the tingling sensation in his body turn to warmth. The feeling was familiar like a friend long lost returned home.
Ah, now I remember. This is why I became an actor.
And for the first time in a long while, Cho Bo-Seon blessed the men, women, and children around him with a genuine smile.
PRESENT
“Ok, cut! That’s a wrap for the day. Cho Bo-Seon—nim, great work today.”
“Thank you. You all worked hard. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Cho Bo-Seon smiled gently as he thanked the crew. Once he finished bidding his farewells, he made his way toward his car. Sitting behind the wheel, Bo-Seon felt a satisfaction at the work he’d completed today. He was finally an actor again. He couldn’t very well consider himself that while on his (reluctant) hiatus. As Bo-Seon pulled up to a red light, his mind drifted to the two years of absence from the public eye.
He remembers the slew of texts he received from his manager and those close to him at the company. They asked if he’d seen the news; was what they said true; you’re in deep shit, Bo-Seon—the messages were all like this. When he turned on the tv, the first bit that appeared was a news station covering a drug scandal—Cho Bo-Seon was involved. First thing in the morning, after a particularly stressful night where a friend had been struggling. Bo-Seon heard the glass mug shatter as it slipped from his fingers, coffee spreading swiftly across pristine floorboards.
It’s not what they think, Bo-Seon remembered thinking, remembered shouting frantically at his team at the company. Those drugs were never his, but he knows no one believes him. Afterall, he’s Mr. Party Boy of Seoul. He had become a bit of a wild child as fame consumed him. He took advantage of the perks, attending parties held by the elite, drinking until daylight broke across the urban sky. It had been a life of luxury until the drug scandal made headlines. Now, Bo-Seon could only watch as his name, his reputation was torn to shreds. The comments online were vicious, the details of the story twisting and warping as they went through countless hands—the hands of people who hadn’t been there and hadn’t seen what he did. His career was put on indefinite hiatus and Bo-Seon felt his world fall apart.
He couldn’t sit idly as the world moved on around him, new actors taking his place, forgetting his name except in passing as a topic of scandal and slander. He needed to put his energy somewhere and so he’d turned to volunteer work. He had been donating monthly for the last few years to a charity for youth. Now that he had time, he used it to help children and teens. He went to Dasom to be a coach for acting. In Daegu, he offered his services to sports facilities to teach kids how play different sports. Occasionally, Bo-Seon would take a break from his volunteer work to explore the world. He’d travelled, but it had always been work-related. Now he spent that time for himself.
When the scandal had destroyed his career, Bo-Seon thought that was the end. Strangely, he realized he had become okay with that. He found other activities to put his heart into and though he missed acting, he learned that he didn’t need it to live. The money was not what he valued, though it became his downfall. But when BZ Entertainment picked up his crumbling workplace and revived its inhabitants, Bo-Seon felt the spark deep in his soul come to life again.
Now, as Bo-Seon pulls into the driveway of his modest house in an average district in Seoul, he feels complete. He remembers why he wants to act and who’s hearts he wants to touch. The drug scandal helped him realize—
best dance performance award for a male group at the mnet asian music awards, 2015
collaboration magazine cover with actress 2, vogue korea, 2015
first solo cf, stonehenge, 2015
solo cf, kloud beer, 2015, viral commercial clip (6 mil views)
first solo magazine cover, dazed, 2015, double-page interview
launch of solo instagram account, 2016 (3 mil followers)
model of the year at tvcf awards, 2017
best male group award at the korean music awards; disk bonsang at the golden disk awards, 2017
PAST
his face hurt.
his cheeks had started to tighten up, the corners of his mouth giving a minuscule twitch. he thought he would be used to it by now, but the exhaustion that slowly began to creep up his spine and pull down his shoulders told him otherwise.
his face hurt because he was smiling too much.
it had been an hour since the start of the fansign event, since they took to the small stage rented out by kbc and performed a few songs before settling into their seats behind a long table, waiting for the line of fans to come up to them for greetings. it wasn’t their first fansign, and minchan had started to get used to the ebb and flow of these types of events. still, the part of him that preferred to be by himself curled up and shriveled with how many people he had to greet.
it wasn’t that he wasn’t excited to see fans, but his mood had already been on a downward swing since this morning. an accidental scroll too far down his mentions on twitter lead him down a rabbit hole of fan accounts arguing that if he wanted to be a model so badly, he should leave the group.
the comments had popped up since his photoshoot in vogue korea, when the popularity of his airport fashion met actual fashion. he had been excited, at first, barely contained energy bursting from him the whole week. the response had been good, at first. it had boosted 5ense’s recognition and had led to more invitations for photoshoots and cf recordings. then it started to sour with some fans. it shouldn’t have been surprising. he already knew of his rocky standing, but he had hoped it would please fans.
nonetheless, he wouldn’t let them get to him. he had his members to support him and other fans who stood by his side. they deserved a brighter smile.
he greeted the next fan, letting her take his hand as she spoke rapidly about her excitement, about how many albums she brought, about her favorite song from their latest release. she pushed a copy of her [xoxo] mini-album forward.
“can you sign it? and answer the question? i put a cat post-it because i remembered you said you used to have a pet cat. do you miss her?” she swung their joined hands back and forth, the pink nail polish on her fingers glinting under the lights.
he glances down at the sticky note, a green cat-shaped thing posted next to his face in the album. minchannie, it read, what is your current concern?
“my sister sends me pictures of gureum often. should i post one for fans?”
she nodded, the hand that held his shaking. “we would love to see guruem! we are always excited to see your posts!”
he smiled politely up at the fan for a moment before uncapping his sharpie (black, this time, after he accidentally grabbed a red marker last fansign and ended up having to borrow his member’s markers because so many fans had red post-it notes). a current concern? he thought of putting something cute, befitting of the youngest member. something like ‘my members wouldn’t play a game with me last night.’
it would be cute, but not really a concern. he paused, tapping his chin with the end of the sharpie.
ah.
i wish to be loved by fans, even though i am lacking.
he shook his head. that would be too depressing, too attached. it was sure to incite something. he could almost hear the sound of his manager in the back of his head. it’s your branding, minchan. the aloof prince.
there was no arguing with the company. he bent his head to write his reply.
the members have not cleaned the living room despite frequent promises…
PRESENT
nothing had changed.
not physically, at least. the dorm looked the same as when he left it six months into the hiatus. clothing rack bursting with jackets and button-downs and sweaters lining the living room wall. the sleek black couch they had been excited to find out fit even the tallest of them lying flat. even the sounds of feet shuffling across the floor.
minchan stood in silence as he took in the place he had lived in for years but hadn’t seen in months. his suitcase stood propped to his side, a reminder he wasn’t coming home but moving back in after moving out. it hadn’t been an easy decision, but it was a necessary one. the cult investigation (it still drew him into disbelief. a cult investigation.) had put them all at a standstill. there was no work to be done, no music to be made, no cf to be recorded. nothing. just hours of empty time for people whose lives, up until that point, had been scheduled down to the minute.
it was enough to drive anyone insane.
while he had kept in touch with his members, there was a kind of awkwardness that hung heavy over their conversations. the uncertainty of their future. his break from the dorm had been a good one, if he ignored the times his parents urged him to quit while he was ahead.
kbc is a sinking ship, minchan. let go while you’re still young enough to have a life.
the words rolled around in his mind ceaselessly. he knew, objectively, he would be the first member many fans would say could separate from the group without causing much damage or loss. before the hiatus started, he was still fresh-eyed and naive enough to believe he could prove them wrong. he had been chosen to debut for a reason, his talents had shown to the trainers and management.
how foolish.
the break had taught him two things: one, his familiarity with the spotlight had become a love and hate relationship, a struggle between his craving for praise and his shyness marketed as mysteriousness. two, no matter how hard he worked, he would never be seen as anything but 5ense’s empty, useless, pretty face.
it was better to embrace it now than face heartache later seeing the fruits of his labor wither before him.
he pulled his suitcase into his bedroom, as neat as he had left it. his eyes grazed over his carefully made bed, the fan letters he had painstakingly read and re-read taped above his desk, the plush bear sitting woefully in a chair. months ago, he had left this room optimistic that the break would be brief and the group would be back to practicing in no time.
he walked over to open the blinds, letting the sunlight in and dust fly into the air.
2015, best dance performance award at mnet asian music awards
2015, immortal song appearance, won with kim taewoo’s ‘love rain’ (score 438)
2016, king of masked singer appearance, viral performance (12m views)
2016, personal instagram account, 2,7m followers
2016, solo w korea magazine photoshoot & interview
2017, solo ost for jtbc drama woman of dignity
2017, 5ense world tour ‘utopia’
2017, 5ense best male group win at the korean music awards
2017, 5ense disk bonsang win at the golden disk awards with 5ense
PAST
beads of sweat run down seungho’s temple, the merciless humidity of september thickens the air despite the late hour. his ears ring, a result of the combined effort of the loud music and the deafening cheers of their fans. with a relieved sigh, seungho pulls the in-ear monitor out and lets it dangle around his neck, the white towel he was being offered comes as his saving grace.
he barely finishes drying his face when the hollow feeling of the post-concert buzz kicks in. the walk to their dressing room feels endless, the length of the hallway must have doubled since he last walked the same path in the opposite direction roughly three hours ago. the ceiling, the walls, the floors, they all feel like made out of glass. one miscalculated step and the moment would receive a crack, a tiny chip in an immaculate memory.
glasses of soju clink and congratulatory cheers accompanied by laughter roar through the restaurant. cheeks are flushed and backs are pat, the sound of the near delirious buzz drowns out the feeling of the endless hollow for a while. at this point, seungho had felt his phone vibrating in the back pocket of his jeans at least four times, but he has mastered the art of ignoring it. too bright are the smiles and too light are the hearts of members and staff for him to subdue himself to the eventually inevitable conversation that announced itself time and time again to him only.
solely after all five boys had stumbled across the hallway of their dorm and fallen into their beds, simultaneously drunk from the somaek and the praise of kim byungchul himself, seungho dares to unlock his phone and catch a glimpse of what he has been trying to avoid. the bright, blue tint of the screen hurts his eyes in the pitch black surrounding of his room. seven missed calls.
[ seungho: ] sorry for not picking up mom
[ seungho: ] the director took us out for dinner after the concert and it got really busy
[ seungho: ] i just got home now
[ seungho: ] did you enjoy the show?
[ mom: ] yes~ it was good
[ mom: ] i hope you took that opportunity to tell mr. kim to make your solo stage longer next time
[ mom: ] it was so short
[ seungho: ] haha
[ seungho: ] i’ll tell him next time
[ mom: ] i’m serious
[ mom: ] and don’t look at your feet when you sing
[ mom: ] all those girls were screaming for you, you know?
[ mom: ] they go even crazier when you make eye contact ㅋㅋㅋ
[ seungho: ] got it
[ seungho: ] i’ll get some rest now, super tired
[ seungho: ] thanks for coming to the show, give dad and seunghee a hug from me
[ mom: ] sleep well
a few minutes pass before his eyes grow accustomed to the darkness again. through the blinds the moon throws a spiel of light onto the ceiling and suddenly the late hour drives him onto the edge of despair. the juxtaposition that something can push him into the highest of spirits, give him prideful confidence in his skills and loving trust in those around him but also gnawing doubt, a strain on his patience and an ever increasing tension with his family is something his brain can’t comprehend.
the only thing that is certain is that once he closes his eyes, all he can hear is the thunderous cheers of fans, an ocean of lightsticks, the bass of the music. that’s all that matters, right?
PRESENT
time is a fickle thing. seungho can barely recall just how often he had wished for it to slow down. days packed with schedules passed within the blink of an eye, concerts were over before he even realized they were playing the encore songs and four hours of sleep at night felt like none. all those years of sending silent pleas towards the universe to move at a slower pace must have culminated into this phase of life, this endless wait for nothing.
sooner or later, all things that keep his mind at bay eventually turn into a source of anxiousness as well. at first he finds solace in the newfound freedom, in the simple things in life. like going out to eat with your friends without a camera documenting every step of the way. he enjoys a sleep schedule to his liking, staying up or sleeping in as late as his mind and body feel like. weeks pass and the evenings at the restaurant that make the best kimchi jjigae in the neighborhood start affecting his wallet, the outings grow scarce.
he slows down even further and turns to pen and paper. at least four notebooks are now filled with lyrics, compositions and concept ideas. his keyboard groans under the sudden heavy usage, he writes down all the thoughts and plays all the emotions that have accumulated over the past decade. in the end, the thought that none of this will ever see the light of day is too much. stacks upon stacks of paper are stuffed into a drawer as he lives under the false pretend that all that had never happened.
the lowest of the low is moving back in with his family. almost daily his mother’s opinion sways from our baby was wronged! to how could you fail us like this? sometimes he wonders what is worse, his mother’s smothering obsession to make seungho’s business her own or his father’s apathy towards anything that ever happens outside of the korean baseball league. she hides it well, but every once in a while his mother spills a drop of her past, the failed endeavors of her youth to become a trot singer. why he was the chosen one to live that decade old dream instead of his law studying younger sister is beyond him. probably that oldest son privilege everybody keeps talking about.
the dorm is just as he had left it. the emptied out closet, the plain room that has been collecting dust, the hopes and dreams of five boys creeping in every corner of the apartment. his bed feels strange and yet familiar, like meeting an old friend for the first time in years. ignoring the comments beneath the articles that report about the label acquirement would be the wisest move, but seungho’s curiosity gets the best of him. it is even worse than expected, the damage borders on career-ending.
the view of the paper-stuffed drawer by his desk feels foreign, like something out of someone else’s life. it takes a while to go through them, put them neatly in a new file, they just might see the light of day. one by one, his belongings find the way to their old spots again, he feels like telling a story for the second time. just as he finishes unpacking, someone calls out, dinner is ready. sometimes, the timing is just right.
first variety appearance, yoo jaesuk’s truth game, 2004, viral clip (regained attraction in late 2016)
first drama to have a double digit rating, high kick through the roof, 2009-2010
first lead role, heartstrings, 2011
solo magazine cover and double page interview, high cut, 2011 (gained attraction for talking about her method acting and dedication to prepare for her role in heartstrings by learning the gayageum)
first lead role in a drama that has a double digit rating, school 2017, 2017
PAST
if she says she remember the last time she had to audition for a role, she’s lying. she remembers everything from her first official audition to the most recent audition (which dates back to six years ago), but she doesn’t remember being this nervous for any of them. the way bobae folds the corners of her script out of sheer anxiety — it’s a habit she never thought would return to her as an adult.
teen dramas are what creates international buzz, and bang bobae is one of the representative faces of the genres. however, she is now twenty-three — an adult in her eyes but still a little sister in the public’s. when will she break free? is it today? is today the day that she’ll trade in that school uniform and bubble gum lip tint for a blazer and red lipstick? will this movie finally make the public see her as more than an eccentric school girl?
she signs her contract, a hopeful bid of farewell to her days as an innocent child, but it’s soon ripped out of her hands as a scandal breaks loose.
PRESENT
bang bobae is bored.
school was never a focus for her. she dropped out of school as soon as she could — by force, not by choice — so she doesn’t have a place to go.
how about friends? besides her colleagues — all older than her, too busy and mature to be around a child like her — she has none. she never did have the personality to get too close to people.
so she sits in her home. it’s too big for someone who is by herself the majority of the time, and her nose is too sensitive to have pets around her. so what does she do?
nothing.
absolutely nothing.
she bathes in solitude and the background noise of the tv she turns on to feel like she’s accompanied by someone. then, she looks to her phone — no new calls or messages besides the one from her mother a week ago that remains unanswered.
‘you should take some time for yourself now that you can finally rest. isn’t this a blessing in disguise, sweetheart?’
typical. mother and father were always like this: only there when they needed her, and never the other way around. she doesn’t feel sad that her family has essentially abandoned her — she’s sadly used to this. when she looks back on it — back on to the earlier days of her career — she’s realized the closest thing to a family she had were the family she had collected through her scripts.
maybe that’s why she’s crying now?
or maybe that’s just bobae acting like she’s sad — she is so very good at crying on cue, after all. but who is there to pity her? hopefully, no one — never again.
reinventing yourself is a good thing, and bobae realizes that she was on the road to a makeover prior to her hiatus. and what’s the best way to reinvent yourself? a new face.
it’s nothing dramatic — she would rather leave the theatrics to her other label mates. she’s a natural after all, not an overly dramatic performer. it’s just a matured nose shape — natural enough to make some think her face matured over the two years, but fixed to the point where people question, but doesn’t know where exactly to question.
is it that? or this? or everything? something if off about her. maybe she just lost her baby fat.
but will this make her go out as a pitiful woman scored? or will it make her revive as a femme fatale, rising from the ashes?
eclissi first music show win with “run devil run”, 2009
subunit solstice debut with “tonight”, 2010
eclissi wins best album at mama, 2010
first solo variety show appearance, we got married, 2011
first acting role, waiting for love, webdrama, minor role (choi saerom), 2012
eclissi breaks records with “sixth sense”, 2012
eclissi wins album bonsang at golden disk awards, 2012
first stage musical role, fame, supporting role (serena katz), 2012-13
first drama role, the heirs, minor role (kang hanna), 2013
solo debut with “only one”, 2015
“free somebody” fancam goes viral, 2015 (14 million views)
first movie role, secretly, greatly, minor role (yoon yooran), 2016
variety show regular cast member, sister’s slam dunk season 1, 2016
won king of mask singer, 2017
first lead drama role, just between lovers (ha moonsoo), 2017
first post-scandal role, sky castle, cameo (herself), 2019
PAST
hyojoo sat on set, her eyes scanning through her script as she waited for the end of the lunch break. her heart pounded in her chest, her hands were sweaty as she turned the pages, running each bright pink highlighted line one last time in her head. her first time carrying a show, her first time so much pressure on her as an actress. for all the years she had put into her acting career, trying desperately to be seen not just as an idol-actor, but as a serious actress who just happened to also be in a girl group, this was her very first lead role on a network drama.
“judy-ssi?” the assistant director’s voice coming from across set startled her. hyojoo turned and smiled in response - she had been trying to use her birth name for her acting career, but time and time again people slipped up. maybe ahn hyojoo would never stick, and she’d be judy for life. “are you ready to begin?”
“yes,” she said, tucking her script under her chair and standing up. she tried to subtly wipe her clammy hands on her jeans, clearing her throat as she did so. she felt as if everyone on set had now turned to watch her. but why did that make her so nervous? she had performed on stage for nearly ten years now, in front of cameras and crowds of thousands - why did her throat feel so dry that she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to croak out her first line?
hyojoo came to her mark next to her scene partner, offering a polite bow and a smile. he said something to her, the director started counting down; she could barely hear above her heartbeat thudding in her ears. she nodded, took a deep breath, and when “action!” cut through the noise, she began.
PRESENT
when it became evident that everything at kbc would be at a standstill for a while, hyojoo packed up her bags and left. eclissi had been so busy since debut, and despite the company giving them breaks here and there, she rarely got a chance to go home and see her family in jeju. this was her chance to be at home and recharge until things got sorted.
it was a relief to be home. she had missed the sea breeze, the fresh tangerines, the energy of a full house with her parents and siblings bustling around as opposed to her own empty apartment.
but now it had been two years since she left seoul. two years with no work, no public appearances, only rarely getting updates regarding the investigation. for the first couple of months hyojoo had been anticipating news that she was to return to seoul and things would start again as normal. that news finally came, but only now, two years after her life had been put on pause.
it was a week before she had to be back in seoul. hyojoo sat on her family home’s porch, scrolling on her phone. she kept searching kbc, eclissi, and her own name, trying to get a sense of what the public was feeling following the news of bz culture’s acquisition. most people had seemed to pity the artists at first, but by now there was barely any mention of them besides occasional comments from their own fan accounts, some conspiracy theorists claiming they had all been in the cult too, and a few people musing over how the groups will compete against those who debuted and made a mark in their absence. kbc had almost become a punchline; any respect anyone might have still had for the company was truly and totally gone.
hyojoo was itching to work. eclissi was one thing - they had had so much success already, and hyojoo didn’t want to keep spreading herself thin between the group and acting as she had for years. but her acting career had just finally gotten going. she had her very first lead role in a drama only months before everything came crashing down. she had been in talks for another lead role when the offer was rescinded amid kbc’s scandal. she knew how this industry worked. when you’re gone, newer and fresher faces take your place. a different actress took the role she had been offered before. now that she was coming back, would the public accept her? will she forever be suspected of being part of the cult? for all her hard work, the years she’d put in building a solid reputation and improving her craft, to be destroyed and forgotten like this - just the idea of it crushed her.
the leaves in the tree above her rustled in the breeze. hyojoo thought for a moment of posting a photo on her instagram, showing the world that she was alive and doing well. she decided against it, turned off her phone, and went into the house.
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