There's A Bear In The Woods @reorganizedtrenchcoats - Tumblr Blog

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Anna Kendrick © Rankin | Hunger Magazine (2015)

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SZA for Nylon Magazine.

When I was younger I read “Monster” by Walter Dean Myers, and when I did I had a strong feeling that I was going to have to fight to become who I wanted in life. That I was going to struggle to move forward with my dreams, and even though it would take time, the hard work would pay off exponentially.

I still think that. I know it.

I envisioned the story set in the book as a film - it’s written as a movie script, with intermittent notes scribbled on pages in between scenes. Myers writes like that. I remember several years later picking up ‘Shooter’ and being devastated by the thoughts of a mentally ill teenage boy, but feeling what it’s like to be in his head.

When I read ‘Monster’ I hoped with all my heart it would be made into a movie one day, and if it didn’t that I was going to do it myself. I’m glad I never got the chance to, because what Anthony Mandler did with the adapted script and direction and edits and shots and everything having to do with this film has made it more than I could've ever imagined. I walked up to him after the screening I just watched at Sundance, and I shook his hand and said, “I just wanted to say thank you. This book has been my favorite for a very long time and you’ve made it into everything it’s meant to be.”

On my walk back to my lodging from the theater I listened to “River” by Leon Bridges through my headphones, and I cried. I felt overwhelmed by my day, having had been frustrated for most of it, exhausted by the end of it, and then emotionally drained from such a beautiful film. I didn’t cry during the movie, but on my walk home something crashed down onto my soul all at once and moved me.

The story of the boy in ‘Monster’ is my story, to an extent. It’s your story, too. It’s not a happy one, and no one really comes out at the end a winner. I couldn’t help but feel. And that, to me, is what makes a great movie.

PS - ‘Monster’ is currently being bid on for distribution, so hopefully the rest of the world will see it soon. In the meantime, go read it.

#Monster #Monster Movie #sundance film festival #2018 #book to film #independent film

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365 Days of Elizabeth Olsen 8/365 | 5 Minutes with Franny (2013)

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I used to make yearly goals.

Read fifty new books in a year.

Watch 100 movies I’ve never seen before.

Second thought, I made yearly goals twice.

This year I have wants. I want to write more, and more effectively. I want to paint again. Draw again. Connect with art at the deepest levels again. I explored my creativity with woodworking this last year, and don’t regret it one bit, but I miss getting lost in working on a piece, like I used to in high school, or when I took a break from college. The world went away. Sometimes I’d get too lost, arguably. Which is why my next want is balance.

I want to balance my health and time better. As many of us here on the tumblrversen do, I’ve always struggled with my depression and anxiety, but when I was diagnosed with OCD (and “possibly” PTSD. So my doctor doesn’t know if i have it or not? Cool.) in 2017 it threw me for a fucking loop. I understood the illness, but not how it related to me. It was like being told I had ADD all over again. I had to reinvent the way my life gets lived now, just as I had to teach myself to learn differently in school back then.

I’m still working at it, but I want to always be working at it. Last year I struggled heavily with my mental illnesses. I went though entire weeks that just disappeared because I couldn’t leave my house, or even my bed. I was sick. I am sick. And it worries me because of how the outside world deals with mental illness.

I’ve learned that the world doesn’t care if you’re depressed or anxious. You still can’t miss work.

I struggle with finding good jobs because of it. Being a creative is nice because we get to build ourselves and make our craft, but people don’t always buy it. So I got a real person job. And it’s highly rewarding, but underpaying.

So I want to find a balance in my work as well. Between my day job and my creative life and projects. Because lord knows I need both.

This year, what I want the most is to connect with people.

I shut out people this year. Friends and family. My parents separated and I honestly don’t know what their status is currently because I stopped talking to my mom as much when she moved away.

I stopped talking to a lot of people as much.

But I want to start again. Which means leaving my comfort zones more, believing in myself more, being vulnerable more. And finding people who are able to do the same.

Another thing I want is to distance myself from people who aren’t supportive of me. I’ve already started, but I want to continue to recognize it more. I trust to easily, and I hate it.

So no goals for 2018. Just wants.

And I want to use tumblr more than I have been, so hopefully I’ll pop up more often.

Cheers.