you're cold & i burn

you're staring out at a world on fire complaining about how ugly you think the ashes are semi-selective indie roleplayer mun is 18+ hiatusish replies: ~001 drafts: 000 starters: 000

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after abandoning this blog, i felt like i wanted a fresh new start so i decided to restart over at a new blog !

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ofbombshells:

she nodded along as jordan spoke. at this point, the only thing she could hope for was for this awkward period in their friendship to be over as quickly as possible. “yeah,” she quietly agreed but couldn’t help but perk up at the brunette’s last comments. “— i’m… what?” she managed, confused but quickly reminded herself that jordan didn’t have romantic feelings for her. that’s the kind of behavior that landed her in this situation in the first place. reaching for her friend’s knee, she smiled. “thanks.”

jordan bit her lip to avoid thinking about what she had just said. she had just called her best friend sexy and amazing and there was a small part of her that knew there was more to it. more to it than just her ‘appreciating the female body’ or whatever. but that small part was ignored because there was no way that jordan wasn’t straight. but when she felt chey’s hand on her knee, she didn’t feel straight at all. “yeah, you’re amazing, chey,” she said, as she swallowed all her feelings down.

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bvbydclls:

‘ i can’t help it ! ’  rose insisted, a little pout forming on her lips. ‘ well then, hannah’s ghost, is there any way i’ll get alive hannah back ? ’

‘ maybe a kiss would revive her... ’ hannah said, coyly. 

[bvbydclls]

rose shifted slightly so that she could lean over the other female, looking down at her. ‘ i think i like you better alive. ’

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hannah looked up at rose and replied, ' well then you shouldn't have been so cute or then i would still be alive. by the way, this is hannah's ghost because she's dead. '

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ofbombshells:

“i know, i know. i really should have kept my big mouth shut but i don’t know. it was just getting too much to bear. i kept it in for like ages and it felt like i was going to EXPLODE if i didn’t tell you how i felt but now i’ve just made everything super awkward because, hello. obviously, you’re not into me.”

"no, please don't beat yourself up over this. it must have been terrible to keep this a secret from me. i mean, i'm just sorry that you had to go through this alone. like...you had to listen when i talked about all those guys. i'm just really sorry. it doesn't have to be awkward. and it's not like you're not sexy and amazing or anything like that, i promise."

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heroexxs:

her arms wrapped around her tightly as she placed little kisses to the top of her head. tyler would leave them alone if he saw those papers, and if he still wanted to take them to court, then she knew no judge would side with him. everything was going to be legal, and she knew that this was best for mia. she needed genevieve in her life, she was her mother so if this was what she had to do, then she could help her fill out some forms. a happy sigh slipped her lips as she gave her another soft kiss to her forehead. “so, how was work, beside tyler being a dick and showing up.” hopefully other then tyler she had a pretty good day at work. gently she rubbed her back and pulled their covers up a bit more. “mia went to bed pretty easily tonight, but i wouldn’t be surprised if she woke up in a couple of hours.” 

genevieve snuggled into val's arms and closed her eyes so she could savor the moment. there was nothing more that she wanted than what she was feeling right now. wrapped in the safety of val's arms with mia sound asleep next to them. she felt like once they finalized everything legally that tyler wouldn't stand a chance. she hoped. because there was nothing she wouldn't do to keep mia and val in her life. "um, it was okay i guess," she replied. she didn't really remember much besides seeing tyler. "the whole thing kind of blindsided me. but it was normal." that was usually the extent of the conversation they had about genevieve's work anyway, because let's be honest, val wouldn't want to hear about how the regular jerry tipped her real good today because her tits were spilling out of her costume. "does she ever sleep like more than five hours?"

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bronxisms:

❝ agreed, besides, it didn’t help that the lead singer was a little too cute for words. but hey, i’d be more than happy to write a song about you.. i’ll write it, but you have to sing it. ❞ a sly smile manages to creep up on both ends of her lips, eventually extending from ear to ear as her glances from the ground to look at her new roommate. she had figured her eye contact after some time would become too.. overwhelming, & the last thing she wanted was to scare away another roommate. for now, she’d just go with the motions in order to see what her new friend was all about, there seemed to be no shame in that, whatsoever.  ❝ well that’s good to know, at least i don’t have to walk in without barging in on you doing something extremely crazy. i mean, i’m not usually one to nark on anyone, i’m always focused on their health before their drug addiction. ❞ delilah rolls her eyes with this, seeing that some people use their money to harm themselves rather than what they came to the school for. it was a school, no matter what way that you wished to twist it, so an education would be the key to getting delilah through the summer. once it came to her knowledge that boarding school would be her next destination, it was obvious that delilah knew what her upcoming tasks would be. focusing on the classes, over studying for tests, breaking night for projects, all while exploring her newly crowned sexuality were all going to be hard to maintain. but, drooling over kailani seemed much more important that any of that stuff right about now. ❝ wow.. i’m complaining about not having any brothers or sisters of my own, i can’t imagine what that must be like. of course, with you basically watching over them, makes you mature & responsible in your own way. ❞ delilah tried her best to be sympathetic, she knew how massive it felt to have to grow up before your age. sighing, she continues to fiddle with her thumbs while moving the unwanted strands of hair away from her face before clearing her throat, knowing that this wasn’t going to be easy. ❝ more like parent, my mom passed away recently, but, uh.. yeah. combined, they’re really strict & don’t seem to understand that concept, so.. ❞ a moment of silence fills the air, before she gets ready to ask her next question. ❝ how do you do it ? you know, be.. out ? like, doesn’t it get hard dealing with all the negativity ? ❞

❝ he was cute but he was a little lanky for my taste. oh, really ? you're gonna write me a song ? well, then i'd be honored to sing it. ❞ as much as she fought it, delilah's grin was infectious and soon she was smiling just as wide. kailani could tell that they would get along easily. much better than her last roommate. no more petty arguments with her parents about money or anything like that. kailani could tell that delilah gave off a vibe that she liked already. ❝ i'm not doing that shit while i'm here, that's just disrespectful. ❞ kailani wasn't one for authority but how anyone could just think that they could mouth off to a teacher or the principal and get a mere slap on the wrist here astounded her. if anyone tried to pull that stuff in any other school, they'd be out in two seconds flat. but at this boarding school, if given enough money, they would just give the kid detention for a day or two ( so that they could 'learn their lesson' ). ❝ it's not all bad, really. i mean, i love my siblings and family, i'd walk through an avalanche for them. mature ? me ? i can still be immature, i still laugh when i see the number sixty nine. ❞ kailani giggled just saying the number. she stopped giggling when she heard delilah's other confession. ❝ i'm really sorry about your mom. and that your dad doesn't accept that you like girls. ❞ she put what she hoped was a comforting squeeze on delilah's arm. she took a deep breath, trying to find the best way to answer the question. ❝ i don't really have a huge coming out story, people were pretty accepting. but what i find helpful is to just take it one day at a time. and know that even though some people may be negative, there will always be people who will support you. ❞

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bvbydclls:

‘ but i can’t ! ’ she even pouts, because it seems like such a hard task.

‘ oh well, i guess i’m dead !  ’ hannah said, nonchalantly, lying down on the bed.

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ofbombshells:

“please don’t say things like that. of course it’s enough. i just got a little greedy and that’s not your fault. like at all. this is all on me.”

“it’s not enough. it’s not what you want and it’s not what you need or deserve. and you’re not greedy. it’s not on you. you’re just having feelings and you’re confused, it’s understandable. i mean..we all have feelings for our girlfriends, some of just don’t act on them.”

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heroexxs:

that had to put tyler in his spot. sure there was going to be so much paperwork and it was going to be a long process, but she knew that it was going to be worth it in the end. at the end of the day, she knew that everything would be fine and that mia would legally have her two mommies. her smile widened as she kissed her cheek once again. “exactly. i mean i want to make it all legal and everything. fight fire with fire and everything.” she said with a little nod and feeling her smile widen a bit more. “it’s going to be great, i can’t wait. we have all of this happening, it’s so exciting isn’t it?” 

if tyler tried to come after them when they had made everything legal, he had another thing coming to him. there was no way that a court would try to take him away from genevieve. not in this day in age. while the paperwork was going to be a lot, genevieve knew that she could handle it. if she could handle taking care of a pregnant val while working and studying, and taking care of mia while working and studying, she could stand to fill out a couple of forms, shake some people’s hands and kiss their asses a little bit. if it meant that she would be officially mia’s mother, then it would all be worth it. “it is exciting. i can’t wait either. i mean, i want everyone in the world to know that we’re a family.”

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ofbombshells:

“i think i just might need you to. just for a little while.”

“okay. if that’s what you need. i love you, chey. i just wish the way that i did was enough.”

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bvbydclls:

‘ well, we can’t have that !  i’d never be able to live with myself. ’

‘ then you better tone down the cuteness, missy ! ’

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bronxisms:

❝ oh my god, you’re right… honestly, i remember just yelling the lyrics whenever it played on mtv or something, those were much simpler times. they’re beautiful, yeah, but they aren’t anything compared to roses. seems to me that they’re always second place to something. ❞ she was never the one to talk about her feelings, so for delilah to sort of beat around the bush when it comes to telling the truth really opened her eyes, now she felt as if she could accomplish ANYTHING. but the first thing on her list was being happy, and she could only do that by fully acceptable who she really was. ❝ i would’t want to be questioned by authority if anything happened to you, i hope you know that. if you’re going to do it, then do it when i’m not around.. or sleeping. ❞ she watched the other sit there so perfectly, almost angel like, just wanting to tell her more about her but she’d have to think for an answer to this sin she was about to commit. ❝ you can say that again, especially since it’s the truth. ❞it was like the devil was trying to CORRUPT her in this situation, lord only knows she was more than ready to give into temptation. she could feel her plump cheeks get ( hot & red ) as she continued to give the other her undivided attention, the same thing she did in every conversation she’d share. ❝ there’s nothing wrong with that, though. you know, having people rely on you, it really helps keep you grounded in a way, if you keep in mind that they NEED you. ❞it was always complicated for delilah to express her true feelings for anyone, let alone her own family, but it was a new year & she was trying to become a better person for her own sake.❝ there’ a slight possibility that i might be.. uh, into girls. ❞ at this point, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders as she has finally confessed her darkest secret. ❝━━ can i ask you something ? ❞

❝ that song was dope. when are they gonna write a song about me ? i would sing the fuck outta that song ! they’re still beautiful though, which counts for something. ❞ kailani could tell that delilah was somewhat uncomfortable but wasn’t quite sure of how to ease that. she usually told a joke to break the ice but most of her jokes were crude & didn’t seem like they would work on a nice lil girl like her. kailani let out a small laugh & replied,  ❝ trust me, i’m not doing anything to get in trouble here. my parents went through enough just for me to get in this school, i wouldn’t do anything to get myself out this school. ❞ although some people might see kailani as a ‘troublemaker’, truth is, she would walk through hell for her family & wouldn’t even care about the burns on her skin. she wasn’t thrilled that she was here & she wasn’t thrilled that her parents sent her here, but she would never put their hard work to get her here to waste. she wasn’t like the rest of these kids who were born into these rich families with their picket fences. she was born into a house with around ten people & then had to grow up faster than she could say ‘abc.’  ❝ i know there’s nothing wrong with it but i mean, i have five younger siblings that i take care of while my parents work & eke out a living. & i also have cousins i live with. & it would just be nice to have parents who were there, you know ? like i love my parents & i appreciate their sacrifices SO MUCH but having to carry the burden can be tough sometimes.  ❞ when kailani heard the other girl’s confession, she couldn’t help but smile. she knew her gaydar was beeping like crazy for some reason or another.  ❝ wait so that’s why your parents sent you away ? are they homophobic or something ?  they got a time machine ? tell them that it’s 2016, love is love. don’t sweat liking girls, they didn’t call me gaylani for nothing. ❞ kailani couldn’t believe that her parents sent her away because she liked girls. not because she was doing drugs, getting bad grades, or breaking laws, but because she liked the same gender. that was unfathomable to kailani.  ❝ yeah, shoot. ❞

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ofbombshells:

“you know what? forget it. don’t worry about it. i’m just being selfish. obviously, i can’t stop being around you. you’re my best friend. i’m just going to have to get over myself.”

“no, you’re not being selfish. and i won’t forget it. you’re my best friend too. and that means i care about how you feel. and...if you need me to step back, i can try.”

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heroexxs:

a little chuckle slipped his lips as she looked over at her and shrugged her shoulders a little bit. as much as she did want to tell her what was on her mind, she just wanted her to be up for all of this. of course she should be, mia was her daughter after all. “what if…” she muttered as she gently cupped her face. “you adopted mia.” she muttered as she shrugged her shoulders. “i mean, i know i look at you as her mother but i want it to be official you know?” she said with a little nod before kissing her nose gently. “what do you think? i want everyone and anyone to know that you’re her mom too.” 

genevieve smiled widely and kissed val fiercely. “of course i’ll adopt her,” she said. although genevieve already felt closer to mia than she felt to anyone else in her life (besides val), it would be really nice if other people recognized their bond. other people like tyler. even if tyler was still her father - barely - mia would still legally belong to genevieve and val equally and tyler couldn’t threaten them anymore. “i mean, there’s loads of paperwork, meeting with people, and stuff, but i’ll do it,” she said with a shrug. “as long as everyone knows that she’s mine and i’m yours.”

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bronxisms:

❝ delilah isn’t as glorious as people seem to make it out to be, i’ll tell you that much. my mom just REALLY like dahlias & decided to change the spelling, the rest was history.❞ her words were strong & raspy like usual, a tone that could differentiate her from any crowd of wannabees. the blush returned to her now rosy textured cheeks, a smile creeping up on the corners of her lips, a hand running swiflty through her black curls once more. it was debatable whether her new roommate had a thing for the same sex, delilah wasn’t completely oblivious to that, she figured she’d just become friends with her & take almost everything as a compliment, which she would do regardless. but honestly, there was a small part of her that wondered what time spent next to kailani would be like, although her beliefs basically don’t approve of that, she was obviously conflicted. ❝ oh, that doesn’t sound so.. safe, ❞ she started, a look of concern finds it’s way to her cherubic features now. ❝ but you’re right. you would think that it’s almost expected for the topic of money to show up around here. ❞ a little sigh finds it’s way between her plump & cherry red colored lips as she fumbles around the bed, looking for a comfortable position. ❝ it’s not all ( peaches & cream ) where i come from, my parents are SUPER strict & sent me here to i can stop thinking about wome           you know what ? let’s just focus on       uh, being roomies !❞

❝ don’t say that, you have an entire song based off of your name ! what’s it like in new york city, girl ? but um dahlias are very beautiful flowers so i understand the name choice. ❞ seeing delilah blush gave kailani a lot of conflicting feelings. she thought that this might mean that delilah had a crush on her which wasn’t good news for either of them. that or her new roommate is just plain WEIRD & likes to stare a lot. but kailani would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the view either.  ❝ i mean it’s not. safe that is. it’s also stupid. they’re really dumb about it. i could get away with it, if i wanted to but i probably wouldn’t. ❞ that was a LIE. kailani had done a few drugs in her days, but nothing hard & only two or three times. but she would never do something as stupid as do drugs on a boarding school campus that she had a full scholarship to and that people paid over SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS a year for.  ❝ money can’t fix everything, i guess. ❞ kailani wouldn’t know, though, seeing as she came from one of the poorest parts of honolulu. when she heard her talk about her parents, she couldn’t help but feel some envy but then some sympathy. envy because she wished her parents were AROUND enough to be strict, but sympathy because strict parents could be annoying. ❝ my parents aren’t really strict, but it’s usually me who takes care of the kids anyway. ❞ when she heard delilah’s half sentence, her eyes widened a bit.   ❝ can’t stop thinking about what ? you can tell me, i ain’t got no one in this dumb ass school to tell. ❞ she smiled at delilah, her first real smile at this school and said,  ❝ yeah, roomies. ❞

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bronxisms:

❝  that’s way cuter than lil’ ol’ delilah.. that’s for sure, ❞ she cleared her throat before sending another smile in the other girl’s direction. she speaks relatively slow & polite like she usually did around new people, her fingers running themselves through her dark black locks as she continues to analyze her new pal. there was just something so different about the other that delilah couldn’t quite figure out, but of course it was too early for her to have a slight prejudgment. her parents had always taught her to respect other as she would want others to treat her, making her such a responsible & very friendly person with time & church, being happy was basically something she excelled at more than life itself. reality soon backed over her mind, her ears trying their best to process her words after the sudden daydream she had just experienced. ❝  she probably did, not that i would know, of course. but what would she do? like, to get kicked out of here, i mean?  ❞a patch of goosebumps gracefully sweep across her arm as she continues to get into more contact with the other, her brown orbs don’t leave kailani’s for a second.❝  anyway, ━━ i’m here to, well, find myself. it’s a boarding school, so that should definitely help sort out my.. um, problems.  ❞

❝  i happen to think your name is just as cute, what's it mean ? ❞ kailani was always interested in the meanings of names, because she loved the names in her family. she was also proud of her heritage & their names celebrated that. although early on, kailani had decided to not like the students that went to this school, she found it hard to find anything to dislike about delilah. she noticed how spaced out the other female was and she smiled because it reminded her of how her siblings were back home. when she thought about her siblings & family, it was a bittersweet feeling. because she missed them so much & she honestly worried about their well being. ❝  probably something to do with drugs, ❞ kailani replied, with a roll of her eyes. ❝ typical rich bitches, not thinking about the consequences of their actions and thinking they can get away with anything because mommy and daddy will pay. ❞ she looked at delilah, raising her eyebrows, surprised that such a seemingly  PERFECT girl would have any problems.  ❝ PROBLEMS ? care to ELABORATE ? ❞