ICARIAN YOUTH

& he shall burn his wings away.

[requie-blog]

   HUMANS CANNOT CHOSE HOW THEY ARE BORN. however, humans are the only ones who can choose how they live -- and how they die. so, child, how will you inscribe your final page? will you reach beyond the void, despite the infinitesimal chance of success? will your story be one to echo throughout the annals of history long past your inevitable demise, far after all have forgotten your name and face? this is your FINAL choice, your FINAL freedom as a human  ——

                                    ——  so, please, do with it as you see fit.

[requie-blog]

hyperdetect | ranpo.

   for ranpo of all people to be in the company of such a strange kid… he feels like today’s his lucky day, of course!! to think he would be given something so strange and unexplainable – it gives him the best thing to occupy his time with! ranpo can’t help but smile in amusement, resting his hands on his hips. so wherever he was from didn’t follow the same standards of electricity, huh? sounds troublesome and prone to a totalitarian society, if you ask him.

   oh well, that’s not his problem.

   “  yep, humans built all of this! stupid as they are, the process of trial and error can do wonders, ace-kun. what we have can be independently created, if we really needed to. electricity just relies on magnets, copper, and motion. originally, some american learned of it through a kite with metal string and a copper key. that was approximately 250 years ago, though, so people have developed and found easier ways to create electricity and manipulate it.  ”

   “  well, in this day and age, that isn’t the most amazing thing, though. there are people like me and my coworkers! we’re much more amazing than technology, i think! you have no way to explain or recreate us.  ”

   blue eyes sit wide with interest, so wide, so curious ! he’s never heard such tales, never thought such feats possible without the help of the crystal to make them possible. oh, he stands in wonder, that feeble child, like a fledgling bird with a watchful eye.

   “... American?” he chirps in repetition, head falling to a side, as if the concept of one was totally foreign to him (and it was, to no one’s surprise). not important enough, the child decides, shaking his head and mulling the words spoken over again and again. people could create electricity, he said; people could wield magic without the crystal, just like he could. out of sight, out of mind, his gaze turns to his own hand, the very little bit of a golden spark flickering between his thumb and forefinger with a faint bzzt ‘fore it was gone——was it like that? or were they like the milites instead?

   “You’re human, though. Of course, you can’t be replicated.” there’s no ill intent in those words, spoken softly despite their blunt edge. “People say that sort of thing about my classmates and I, too, though——that we’re more special than any machine, and so we’re needed. But... I don’t think we’re any better than anyone else, really... In the end, we still need everybody, don’t we?”

[requie-blog]

fcrmido | machina.

Class zero…feel anxiety as well? Wow, that is reassuring to him. With how they carry themselves on missions almost robotic, do what they are ordered, finish the target and move on, it was hard for the dark-haired young man to figure that they can feel these sorts of ‘human’ feelings. What is he going on? Of course, they can feel, they are humans after all. 

“I see. To each their own ways to relax huh. So, what are you reading?” he sat across from the card dealer. “We can train if you wish, you know get some steam off?”

   “Something like that...” His voice trails for a moment, hand eventually landing back atop the cover of the leather tome. It wasn’t much of a pleasure read, which anyone could derive from the embossing——gold letters spelled out a lengthy title, one Principles of Crystal Formulae Across Orience: IX with any number of subtitles and authors listed beneath. “It’s a book about how each country utilizes its crystals’ powers. To be honest, the information is a bit dated, but,” his index finger strikes the book with a dull thud, “we don’t know exactly what we’ll be dealing with out there.”

   Ashen crown cants, however, at the suggestion given, brows rising somewhat in intrigue. Lips part without thought, a momentary silence filling the gap before he finds the words—— “Are you sure that’s a good idea? We can’t really afford to get hurt this close to being dispatched, and if we exhaust ourselves before the mission begins...” Honestly, Machina sounded a bit like Nine, but that was nothing if not refreshing. “... How about we play a game instead?”

[requie-blog]

` welcome home. ` :^)

   she’s always here.   always, always, always.   he stands at the entrance, the scent of ash and soot and smoke and death lingering on the body of a feeble boy, his hands marred with bits of black, with callouses and cuts that hadn’t been there before. it’s easy to read in his expression, the way his chin tucks away, how he flinches at the slightest show of company, that the mission is far from over. explosions and screams play terrifying symphonies in his ears, like cymbals crashing again and again and again; the light is a little too bright for eyes more accustomed to the dark, to the shady, smoky depths of carnage, and he shies beneath the overhang, reaching for the wooden pillar for a bit of support. there’s nothing to remember and he doesn’t remember a thing about nameless faces and disembodied dog tags——but the dead have always clung to him, their only voice in this world that casts them aside.

   his hand, once gentle, hovers and shakes in a failed wave before he clenches it into a fist and pulls it away. lithe frame leans into the safety of the support beam, the exhaustion draining the color from him as the adrenaline leaves his form——he sighs, he huffs.

   this sort of thing is too much. it’s too hard. it hurts, Mother, it hurts.

   but she speaks. it’s not much. it’s two words. two words anybody else would hear all the time, but they’re magic to him, they’re a treasure. two words that break him from his reverie, that briefly give succor to his wearied limbs and see the sun emerge from the clouds in those sky blue hues, life itself twinkling in their depths. he pries himself away from the structural crutch, rubs his sleeve against his teary eyes ‘fore she gets the chance to notice the bubbles that had formed——she doesn’t need to worry anymore about him; she didn’t need to see him at his limits——and walks. one foot in front of the other, kicking pebbles and flattening blades of grass, all until he finally comes to a stop, dress shoes not even a foot away from her own pair.

   “I’m home.” the hesitance is still there, it taking a full second for him to actually take her hands with that gentle, careful grasp. his cheeks burned red, his smile hurt, and there were still tears threatening to spill, but he doesn’t mind it. this wasn’t pain, after all; not with the way it warmed him to the brim with giddy euphoria. no, no, no——not a pain, but a blessing. “I’m home, Lina.” and he was never one to take blessings for granted.

   “I’m sorry that I’m late again. Do you think that bakery in town is still open? We can still go if we hurry, I think.”

[requie-blog]

holds up a deck of cards. duel me, you nerd.

   not to brag, but i am class zero’s indisputable uno champion.

[requie-blog]

i love u and ace i would die for you both

   we love you, too, you know !!!!! please don’t die for us tho we’d miss you

[requie-blog]

   “It’s not so hard! Just... don’t take it with anything more than a grain of salt, alright?” He waves the deck of tarot cards in his hand, setting them upon the desk shortly after. His fingers drum upon the table, delicately resting upon the top the stack in a moment of reluctance, ready to begin at a moment’s command. “You can ask about anything you want, really, like a magic 8 ball.” / @mitsuisms ( s.c. )

[requie-blog]

   “——Hey!” An unusual snap to his tone precedes him, darting towards the fleeing figure (dingy green uniform, yellow attachments, how in the world had one of them managed to sneak into town?) to little avail. His steps come to a stop, though, adjacent to another, the red fabric of his mantle floating to a standstill as he clicks his tongue. There are still insurgents wandering around, huh?

   “Oh, uh,” the child pauses, glancing to his side with a sheepish nod of acknowledgement, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you... That guy who ran off, though, was he doing anything strange?” / @fireballofinsanity ( s.c. )

[requie-blog]

   Towering structures, bustling people, vehicles that moved as if by magic. A sight he hadn’t ever thought he’d see outside of the Empire, but yet, here he found himself. Even as he watches cars go by, standing awkwardly, his thoughts run rampant with feasible explanation and further questioning——if not powered by the crystal, then how did such a civilization come to be? There wasn’t any explanation he knew of, and Queen wasn’t here to field hypotheses, and so his chin rests atop his hand with a contemplative hum.

   “I don’t get it.” Of course, being a liaison officer meant he wasn’t alone, though. “What sort of power source is supporting all this? Your country doesn’t have a crystal to bless its lands, so... Humans really built all of this?” / @hyperdetect ( s.c. )

[requie-blog]

   zzZ. now that the official-esque stuff is out of the way, here’s a starter call in these trying times? y’all know what to do.

[requie-blog]

` i’d like to stay like this for awhile. `

light & dark ( accepting )

   “Mm, okay.” A hum and a nod, ashen tresses falling just so out of place. Warm sun rays cascade from overhead, the stout trunk of a tree offering its utmost support to the pair sitting beneath its branches whilst birds chirp, grass waves, and the nearby sound of chocobo feet and wooden wheels plodding along in the background keeps him at a comforted, contented calm. They were tucked out of sight, on the outskirts of the village, where nary a soul would venture forth without rhyme or reason——or so he’d like to believe. It wasn’t a rarity to be assigned alongside the other classes for missions every now and then; perhaps it was one to be assigned to partner with her class, given their objectives, but the cadet takes it with a smile, pulling his knees in just a bit closer so the toes of his shoes would find the comfort of the shade. They were a pair of swallows, truly, one seemingly always resting beside the other regardless of where they went.

   “I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go, then.” He’d have fallen asleep on her shoulder by the time their classmates came to find them.

[requie-blog]

fcrmido | machina.

“…? Ace?”

He walked towards the card dealer, hand waving to catch his attention. “Hey. Reading again? We have less than two hours to prepare for battle and you are here, in the library to READ? Wow, you have…such a calm heart. I can HARDLY contain my nervousness.” so this is what is like to be in class zero. Everyone is professional and calm about the mission. He needs to take note of that.

starter for @requie !

   Lithe digits land upon the page, decorated with ornate depictions of magic formulas, silently summoning forth a card to take the place of a bookmark as he hears his name being called. He doesn’t turn in acknowledgement, shutting the tome gently ‘fore he sets it atop the table, breathing a sigh under his breath——one that was shaky at best. “It’s not exactly like that...” A tilt of his crown, an uneasy smile. Machina was one of them, now——it couldn’t hurt to be honest, could it? “I’m reading because I’m anxious. If I think about it, though, I’ll psych myself out, so... I find it better to distract my mind until the mission starts instead.”

[requie-blog]

eirlight | lina.

(  she laughs again, expression softening a bit as gaze moves back to the sky, lost amid her thoughts again. busy was one way to put it. surely she didn’t expect everyone to pay attention to details —– life was ephemeral in their world so one must do whatever they can in order to help people come back home. home. this place was the closest thing from home but it didn’t feel like it, sometimes. after all, what kind of home is a battlefield? not that she could remember anything better than that, actually.  )

` i guess that’s right… ` save the world, become agito… all those things sounded too nice for people who were inspired to become heroes. maybe some of them just wanted to help, amid this endless chaos. she closes her eyes, hand unconsciously fiddling with her necklace as she sighs. maybe out of exhaustion  /  maybe out of contentment, she isn’t entirely sure. ` maybe when this is all over we can come here again and talk about some normal stuff. ` another laughter, and this time it sounds more lighthearted. ` but i guess certain things just won’t change much. you’ll probably… keep falling asleep outside, just like i do. `

` but hey. ` eyes are open then, face turning to look at him, a rather curious glint in her gaze, ` do you know what you want to do after this is all over? `

   “Normal things? Like what?” Normal was the hours of studying and training; normal was sparring, battling, falling over and over and over again. He’s a myth, a legend, a being that exists outside of the ordinary, too fragile for the destiny thrust upon his feeble shoulders. Even so, as he lifts his legs from the cliff and turns so he’ll face her, scooting away from the foreboding edge, wide eyes glimmer with curiosity, with innocence, with childlike obliviousness. “Some things may not change, but if the war is over, one thing definitely will. Everybody will be smiling, then, I’m sure of it.”

   His classmates, the other cadets, Mother... ! They’d all be smiling and happy then——definitely! But his smile fades, fleeting thing it was, quickly washed over by an expression far less content, one with lowered, serious brows. A question he’d thought of many times before, that he surely had answers to, however... His fists clench in his lap, the fabric between his fingers crinkling ever so.

   “I’ll only tell you if you do me a favor, Lina.” Raising his hand to his mouth, he lowers his voice, if not for emphasis’ sake. “You can’t make fun of me, got it? My classmates don’t even know, after all, because they’d just pick on me.”

[spctlessminds]

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’ ‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’ ‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’ ‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’ ‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’ ‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’ ‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’ ‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’ ‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’ ‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’ ‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’ ‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’ ‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’ ‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’ ‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’ ‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’ ‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’ ‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’ ‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’ ‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’ ‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’ ‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’ ‘  please don’t go.  ’ ‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’ ‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’ ‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’ ‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’ ‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’ ‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’ ‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’ ‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’ ‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’ ‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’ ‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’ ‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’ ‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’ ‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’ ‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’ ‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

[medeae]

Wilfred Owen, from “Dulce et Decorum Est"

[requie-blog]

eirlight | lina.

(  it’s so quiet. compared to the school grounds and other towns, this place was the quietest she had ever been to. but she wouldn’t know better, since hanging out for fun was a luxury in those trying times and one wouldn’t dare risk their own lives with the current state of the world. she laughs too, finding his laughter to be nothing but contagious —— but then again, wasn’t it always like this? it’s like the sun was smiling, by her side.  )

` kind of, yeah. ` truth is, she doesn’t hang around much with the people from her class. the few ones that come talk to her every once in a while always seem curious to why she keeps talking to him, of all people. then again, he’s probably the only one that she can trust amid this so called circle of friends… though ace is not like them. he’s a friend. not a classmate, not a colleague. a friend. ` it’s just… hard to find people that understand you. this means you’re really special. `

   “You, too, huh?” His legs stop kicking then, his posture straightens. He’s solemn and he’s quiet, blue eyes peering out into the distance with some thought upon a thought, a concept that lay just out of his comprehension, resting itself nicely on the tip of his tongue. As if it’s a conversation he’s had before, with some person whose name and face he couldn’t recall.

   “I think everybody is just busy, you know?” Shifting his gaze behind him, to the girl sprawled out upon the land, he shoves the nameless, vague thought away. It wouldn’t do him any good to ponder it; a thought lost won’t return in the same form. “Our entire lives, we’ve been told to aspire to become Agito to save Orience when the time comes. I don’t think... there’s a single cadet among us that doesn’t want to be a hero, in some way.” A pause, a tilt of ashen crown, a slight pout forming on his lips. “Everybody is so focused that they just don’t see outside their own bubbles, I bet. Especially with the war, it feels like we could truly use Agito...”

[requie-blog]

eirlight | lina.

(  the skies in concordia always seemed a bit brighter in her eyes. perhaps it’s because everything always seemed more blue there, taken the symbol of that country. still, it didn’t mean that their home wasn’t beautiful in the slightest. but moving away for a bit was always a good thing, despite the raging flames of the war. truth is, their world was just wonderful as it had always been.  )

` hmm… this is a secret spot, huh? does this mean i can come back whenever i want? ` there is a faint hint of teasing hiding on her voice, but she didn’t exactly expect him to pick that up. but she hums then, allowing her body to fall as her back rests on the green field, ` it’s good, though. it’s a nice place to relax. ` a small pause, ` they might not see the point but the fact that you do is enough. right? `

   Silence. The pitter-patter of thought, accompanied by the rustle of grass as it waved in greeting behind the pair. For a moment, he’s still, in the next, he’s laughing——soft, subtle, ephemeral, hunched forward with his mouth in his palm. “Of course, you can come back. I don’t own this spot, and you’re not noisy like the others.” She’d already found him here anyway, hadn’t she? 

   “I guess, but it’s... not the same. We’ve all been together for as long as I can remember, but I’m... so different than the rest of them. They just... don’t understand.” He’d always been more sensitive, less tough, always doing things that didn’t befit the noble, elite vermilion mantle currently draped over his shoulders. Being here, outside of the public eye, though... it finally felt like he could breathe honestly again. “Is it like this in your class, too, Lina?”