I have reached "Equinox" and I cannot state enough how much I have been eager to watch this episode again. For this binge I've talked about episodes in TOS and SNW reflecting to this for me. And I could get all into that again, but overall I just love that this is a point where hope for the crew is actually tangible.
It is physically before them. Not just a glimmer of potential of maybe they could manage to actually do this one thing finally. No, they have a Starfleet ship before them. They have its Captain and crew. They are not alone. Going six years into this journey and finally, finally they have someone they can be certain is not out to get them. Someone at their side.
All for the truth to come unfolding around them and that hope is ripped away because this ship .... Isn't like them. It sunk into the darkness, rather than clung to the light of hope. And while the crew clings to doing their job and facing this disappointment once more .... Janeway who had found an equal, a fellow Captain, someone who would carry the burden on their shoulders as she does (no matter how much Tuvok or Chakotay offer to help SHE is the authority. She is where it stops and nothing is above her - Equinox was a savior from that with Ransom, she had someone else to finally share it with, even if one of them would still be the "fleet captain" between them it's that glimmer and flicker that's more than it be for the others).
Just .... The fact that the crew can rely on each other and turn to each other even in this episode but when the hope is torn away Janeway can't. It's even in the episode itself "can't pull rank on you Captain". Her snapping makes so much sense to me for this episode. Still don't get Chakotay and Tuvok not seeing it coming but I imagine they probably had a "nothing we've not been through" reasoning and didn't realize the depth of it but still
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