Currently: Doy doy doy doy DOY DOY DOY DOY nothing's allowed to stay the same... years and years of game ends today...!! And dreams come true for the final two, the game's truly ending... (doy doy) For those who haven't given up, it's time to start the very last... caaaaakkkkeee... aaaatttt.... (doy!) staaaaakkkkkeeee (cake cake cake!) Cake at stake!!!
Recent Work:
Mydei AU Headcanons | MYDEI
Moles = Past Lovers Theory | PHAINON
Silver Tongued | tattoo artist/piercer!PHAINON
Ongoing Series:
Soft Launch | DILUC
Pics or it Didn't Happen | PHAINON
Masterlist
Request Rules
General Info
To Be Written Queue
//knocks on ur door again with coffee tea and biscuits
hey i know i’m late to the party but have we considered jocknerdnon. . . in a modern au he’s the grove’s campus crush because he’s just so dreamy. bro is the captain of the basketball team & he aces some of his classes.
plus. he wears glasses. and he takes them out whenever he wears his jersey during a basketball game. . . 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤
HI AGAIN BUTTER!! //accepts coffee tea and biscuits, and gives you shirtless Phai in return :P
Omg YES??!? Jocknerdnon is basically a campus god 🤤 And yes he would be the grove's campus crush and basically be everyone's crush because he's so smart and athletic he becomes attractive in all aspects. Anyone in his classes and/or gets to snag tickets for school sports games is lucky enough.
We'd be like- there's a cute guy in my history class who wears glasses... and then go to a basketball game and, oh? Phainon takes off his glasses and turns out the same sexy nerd is also a handsome hunk?? LOL. Imagine thinking ?? why does this nerd have such a huge hoodie on? And then you see him take it off and reveal his muscles as an athlete thinking OH, that's why.
My fellow writer friends 🫵 I know most of you have written a fic over 20k 🫵 HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO IT I'm already pooped at what I have. And not only that but proofreading takes so much longer too.
girl tadc last episode soon omg. are you gonna watch it in cinemas? my bestie & i plan to 🙀🤍
Omg Butter, I did not know you watched tadc too???! I hope you and your bestie have fun watching it in theatres!
Idk if I will! I don’t really want to go alone but my only other friend who watches it is only on episode 4(?) and I’m not sure if they will be able to finish it before the theatre release (which is next week right…?) + if I can even convince them to go with me 🥲
The other thing holding me back is that I feel like the theatre will be full of children (and I question theatre etiquette in general) 😭 But on the other hand, GOD I KNOW THERES GONNA BE SPOILERS EVERYWHERE ILL NEED TO BAN MYSELF FROM SOCIAL MEDIA FOR TWO WEEKS
Erm, and then the youtube release comes out the day my grad ceremony is, so if I don’t watch it in theatres then I’m even more late to the party…
Warning: random self indulgent nonsense ramble post
I recently thought about what food Diluc would like from my culture, and I can't really think of anything meat heavy (looking at his signature dish with stacks of steaks...) + potatoes + a bit of cheese.
We have a dish with rice, minced beef and potatoes, so that's the closest actual meal I can think of. But then I'm like ?? ...meat and potatoes...? Might as well adopt Razor because I think that's what the wolf boy likes more lol 😭
I also think he'd enjoy uhhhhhh... a certain dish of pork with honey :D *does not elaborate* but even so it usually comes with rice/noodles. But I feel like Diluc likes more beef than pork, and less grainy foods... so idk...
I think Diluc would like our drinks the best tho!!! Let's not forget the first drink he mixed was a Gray Valley Sunset, which is literally juice. Also hc that he does have a sweet tooth ^^
I feel like he would enjoy uhhhhhhhh... a certain lemon drink :D *does not elaborate*. I think he would enjoy having something sweet and refreshing, and maybe he could even use it for drink inspiration
you already know what i want. GIVE ME SEVENTEEN OR GIVE ME DEATH
*screams* ZO! HI!! Thank you for sending this in!!
Okay, I will give a description and avoid spoiling too much!:
So MC is Mydei's little sis (-1 year) and one summer day, she notices him bringing a boy over to play. MC's kind of anti-social in her teenage years, so she doesn't really expect to talk to Mydei's friend because boys stink and why would she talk to someone who stinks? But oddly enough, even 14 year old Phainon who's a stranger in her own household, seems to be comfortable in expressing that he wants to know her better and include her in everything- even though he's technically only here for Mydei, which MC feels slightly weirded out yet warm about. And it continues for years up to their university years (13-19/20), where every time MC expects nothing, Phainon seems to pop in and wants to get closer to her. We go through a few moments, some where Phai gets a little borderline flirty, which makes MC question if there's something there or if she's just being delulu/Phainon just being friendly with her. And then there's the added problem of the nature of their relationship respective to Mydei, because he's a little protective of his little sis, and neither of them would want to ruin something/upset Mydei.
WIP tag game! Thank you @kominigiru for the tag! 💜💜
Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous, and tag as many people as you have WIPs. people send in an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and you post a snippet or tell them something about it!
Seventeen(?) - [brothersbestfriend!Phainon x reader]
Throw Caution to the Wind - [Varka x reader]
Pics or it Didn’t Happen Ch5: Slumber Party Edition - [Phainon x reader series]
Soft Launch Ch4: So I Made Some Lemonade - [Diluc x reader series]
The Kremnoan Language - [Mydei x reader]
Untitled Farmernon (might scrap this one…)
Untitled Nerdnon
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I will be tagging @butteronabun to share any wips (if you want ^^)
My fellow writer friends 🫵 I know most of you have written a fic over 20k 🫵 HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DO IT I'm already pooped at what I have. And not only that but proofreading takes so much longer too.
Snippet Sunday: Untitled WIP [Brother's Best Friend! Phainon x f!reader]
Tagged by @zozo-01, thank you for the tag Zo! (POIDH is burning in a fire rn so have this instead)
Summary: Uhhhh this doesn't have a summary yet (or a title!)
A/N + Warnings: Modern!AU, MC is Mydei's sister and is 1 year younger than Mydei and Phainon, single mama Gorgo
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Age: 13
At the young age of thirteen, you've already written off boys. They were smelly, mean, and dumb... you could go on. Which is why, when your brother Mydei brought home a friend for the first time, you were not expecting to like him.
It was a random summer afternoon when you were lounging in your room, listening to music while you draw. It wasn't long until you felt like you heard the front door open and close, along with an extra set of footsteps...? You thought you were hearing things- perhaps it was your mom who was walking. But just a second later, you heard an unfamiliar voice.
It's another boy, you think.
For a moment you forget the animosity you have against boys. The memory of your brother dejected and purposely isolating himself last year rings clearly in your mind. Your family had left your town of Castrum Kremnos and moved to the more populated city of Okhema to get a fresh start, especially because of the grief caused by your father. However, this also meant that Mydei would be leaving his friends.
Though you have not had many interactions with them, you knew they were good friends and meant a lot to your brother, even if he didn't want to admit it. A dull ache lingered within your household despite moving to the free and prosperous Okhema.
So you decide to give this mystery boy a pass.
Your tablet flashes, signaling low battery, and suddenly you realize the predicament you're about to be in. Shit. You left your charger with Mydei after his broke, so now you have to go in his room to ask for it.
Did you really have to go in? Your mind goes back and forth between saving your tablet and staying in your room and waiting it out. Looking back in your room, avoiding interacting with the mystery boy and your stinky brother seemed really tempting. You had hobbies- you could definitely find something else to pass the time. But a part of you can't help but be curious, and before you know it, your feet were dragging you to Mydei's room.
You walk as lightly as you could, trying not to alert them of your existence before you were ready to go in. The door was half open, and you hear the low murmur of their voices, along with the electronic sounds effects of what seemed to be punches or shooting. You gulp, overthinking of whether Mydei would even hear you over the video game noises. You knock anyway.
"Yeah?" Mydei's voice calls out. You breath a sigh of relief- at least he heard you. You grab your nonexistent courage and push the door to enter. Keeping your head down, your footsteps hover lightly on his floor as if you were sneaking in. And then your breath catches in your throat.
The mystery boy- A boy sits on the edge of Mydei's bed beside him with a controller loosely in his hand. He looks up at you the same time your brother does, and you get a full glimpse of his face. He was sitting, but he looked around the same height and age as Mydei. White messy hair framing his face, bright blue eyes, and an even brighter smile. Why was he smiling at you?
And was that the scent of wheat?
Your brain barely catches up to the overload of the mystery boy, but Mydei fortunately snaps you out of your trance.
"What do you want?" Mydei's voice is curt and straight to the point as always. You catch the mystery boy stifling a laugh, nudging your brother and muttering something like "how gentle", to which your brother nudges him back subtly. You don't know why but you feel self conscious all of a sudden.
"I-I need the charger." You mutter. Ew. You become aware of how awkward your voice comes out.
"It's on the desk." Mydei replies, quickly focusing back on the video game. You cringe. The desk? The one all the way across the room? Where you'd have to pass this weird smiley boy? Your anti-social self loathes this, and you wish you could cuss at Mydei for not getting the message but alas there is a guest. Men. They certainly stress women out, even your own brother.
You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as you swiftly cross your brother's bed to snatch the charger. Okay, you did it, just quickly in and quickly out, easy right-
"Hey."
The white haired mystery boy calls out to you, and you flinch like those cartoon robbers caught in the police lights.
"I'm Phainon." He says with a smile. "Do you wanna play with us?"
Your pupils dart quickly between the boys and Mydei's TV, where some sort of FPS game was paused. The thought crosses your mind so fast, you almost flinch in disgust at the thought of playing this violent video game with boys.
"you know you can always reach me ('cause i know you running on the low)."
Or: Maybe you realized that you've been so focused on ghosts that you forgot to look at the boy in front of you in 6.2k words.
A little context, my family does do an annual trip to Texas and yes I am a certified city kid. Long-time mutuals of mine know that when there is a country boy, I always claim that I'm going to write a fic like this. Well @horrorscoupes, it finally happened.
A shout out to the wonderful @the-gayest-sky-kid for reminding me that modern Phainon would love archaeology. Thank you for preventing me from writing about another lawyer. ;-;
CW: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, University AU, sort of, Arguments, Toxic Family Dynamics, Phainon and Cyrene are siblings, Burnout, reader is a burnt out graduate cuz same, okhema but make it modern big city, which modern big city is up you, this is the city kid x country boy fic, Friends to Lovers, even though its been like five years since they saw each other, Yearning, Pining, its phainon what do we expect, if you think this is about me comma turn the other way, Soon-to-be Dead Parents, Fear of the Future, Happy Ending, because I think we all need hope for the future
click here for the ao3 link!!!
To say that Aedes Elysiae was a small town could be seen as a misrepresentation.
It's small enough that your usually paranoid mother will let you walk from one end of the town to the other, so long as you have your phone on you in case of an emergency. Though if you're being honest, what could possibly go wrong? The most dangerous thing here is the occasional cows that make their way onto the roads. It was just as perfect as it was utterly dull and boring.
You look back at your blind spots and rear-view mirrors, just to make sure the aforementioned cows don't appear out of nowhere.
Hypocrite that you are, insulting a place that you were actively driving towards.
You weren't born in Aedes Elysiae, but your father was. For generations, your family had grown the wheat fields that covered the ground and tended the cattle to your name. All content with staying within the same small borders for decades.
Your father, on the other hand, desired for more, and what he wants is what he gets.
He decided that he was meant to be more than a simple farmhand. He applied to the Grove and was accepted with a full-ride scholarship to the university. There he met your mother, and fell in love with her big dreams and bigger heart. Instead of coming back to Aedes Elysiae, like your grandmother wanted, they moved to Okhema after they got married. A year later, little you was born, with all the opportunities in the world open to you. Lucky, lucky you.
But karma loves her debts paid, and for every good thing in your life, there had to be some bad to balance it out.
You could be convinced that your parents had a good marriage for a good few years, but then money got tight. Your parents would never fight about it in front of you, but you can tell from the stress they carried on their shoulders that there wasn't going to be after-school ice cream for the next month. You weren't poor by any means, thankful for the fact that you still had a roof over your heads and food on your plate. But you weren't living in some mansion or high-rise condo building. As such, larger expenses weren't always in your budget, but there was one thing your father would never relent on.
That was a trip to his hometown. Like the good son he is, every year, he would make you and your mother sit in a car for two days and drive down to Aedes Elysiae.
At first, it was fun. You fondly remember riding the horses with your dad, picking flowers with your mother and aunt and running through the fields with the local kids. You always thought Aedes Elysiae was a little boring (you will never get over the fact that there's no mall here), but you made it work. You found fun in the stray cats that would follow you and the myriad of stars that hung over your head.
But then you noticed the tense conversations. There were backhanded compliments and insults disguised as praise. Despite how well he tried to hide it, you could tell when your father and grandmother got into another argument. Your mother and aunt tried to shield you, but your grandmother's words still haunted you from those walls.
"That child better be worth you leaving this family!"
(There was a part of you that knew you were a mistake, and you would spend your life repenting the sin of your birth.)
That was the day going to Aedes Elysiae went from being fun to feeling like a chore.
There were good parts of the little town, things that your crumbling family life couldn't taint. The boy with blue eyes and a kind smile always brought magic to this farm town. He and his sister would make fantastical stories where you were heroes taking down the evil villains. If the evil villain looked and sounded a little like your grandmother, you didn't mention it.
Phainon Khaslana, an angel brought onto this Earth to help his parents. The good boy who would live in Aedes Elysiae and will be buried here. You remember joking that if he knew the real world out there, he would never come back. But deep down, you knew that the boy bled wheat flowers. He would never leave, and you would never come back.
You park your car in the driveway of your family's farm, giving yourself a minute to breathe before you get out.
You still don't know if this was the right thing to do, but your bones were begging for a break from the fast-paced life you have created for yourself.
You knew that your birth had brought strife onto your parents, but that comment had solidified the curse that you brought. So you made a silent promise to lessen the burden on them. In high school, you took jobs to help pay the bills and rent. In university, you paid your way through scholarships and loans, taking on part-time work in between your classes and internships whenever you were off school. You joined club after club to boost your resume and secure yourself a post-graduate position to further support your family. And you did it all and made it look effortless.
Now that graduation has come and passed, you were practically pushed out of your house by your parents as they begged you to take a break from the city.
There were a couple of reasons why you chose to return to Aedes Elysiae. For starters, it was the most cost-efficient option, since you didn't need to pay for travel or your accommodations. It was also far enough from civilization to force yourself to breathe for a moment. The fact that your grandmother had passed a few years ago didn't hurt. It meant her taunts and stares wouldn't be digging themselves into you.
But above all, you miss it dearly. Maybe not the town itself, but the memories you made here. You haven't had the chance to visit alongside your parents since you started university, and you wanted one last summer spent here. Before the true load and responsibility of adult life came barreling down on you.
(You choose not to think about Phainon as a reason why you came back. Your little crush on him never faded despite not seeing each other for almost half a decade. Is he still the same boy who'd drag you to take naps in wheat fields, putting you to sleep with the stories of bygone heroes?)
(They say nothing in Aedes Elysiae changes. Selfishly, you hope that includes him.)
Another moment passes before you leave your car, taking your luggage with you inside the old house.
A layer of dust covered the halls of this haunted home, and you can still hear the echoes of screams from years past. You made the right decision not to come back earlier, as the streets of Okhema were easier to navigate alone than this place with family.
You didn't have a chance to put your stuff down before you heard a knock on the door. Seriously? You just got here, and you're already entertaining guests? You couldn't, at the very least, dust off the furniture here. You weren't the best host ever, but even you had some standards.
Putting the bags on the floor, you turn around to walk to the front door. While you were pretty sure that there was nothing dangerous at the door, you kept an eye on the shotgun by the door. Sure, Aedes Elysiae was safe, but your father was a true country boy, underneath the city attitude he's taken. There was no chance on Earth that his child wouldn't know how to (safely) use a gun.
You look through the peephole and see a familiar sight of pink hair outside the door.
"(Y/N)!" Cyrene leapt onto you the minute you opened the door. She threw her arms around your neck, almost sobbing into your shoulder. You weren't used to people bearing their hearts on their sleeves towards you. You added it to the growing list of things you miss about this little town.
"It's good to see you again, Cyrene," you say as you place her back onto the ground. You take her hand to move into the living room and sit down on the couch. This was the first time you had met in so long, so of course, both of you needed to be comfortable for the long catch-up session.
You take a really good at Cyrene. The last time you saw her, she was the little girl who would follow her big brother around. Now her features have sharpened and her hair has gotten longer, but the playful look in her eyes has never left. The same ones she would give you whenever she had a nefarious scheme concocting in her head. Most of the time, it was just pranking Phainon.
It's funny, for some reason, you were still expecting the girl who was still in high school to greet you at the door. Perhaps time does have more of an effect on Aedes Elysiae than you thought.
"How did you even know I was here?" You question the young girl.
"We saw a car in the driveway and had a feeling it was someone!" Her eyes lit up with her classic brand of mischief.
Before you could question who 'we' included, a snowball tackled you onto the couch, licking your face with childlike glee.
"Snowy! Get off of them!" Cyrene got up to remove the white samoyed assaulting you with his love. The little furball has been in the family for as long as you can remember, to the point where every family picture has had him in it. Some call him the 'unofficial little brother of the Khaslana family'. You remember him as the best weighted blanket in the history of ever.
"It's good to see you again, buddy," you coo at him while giving his head a couple of kisses. Even as someone who didn't like dogs, Snowy had a permanent place in your heart. His white fur was as soft as the fluffiest cloud, and he made for a great pillow for when you wanted to sleep in the middle of the wheat fields.
Huh, even Snow got a little bigger since the last time you saw him. And given that dogs age quicker than humans do…
You shrug that thought from your head. Now is not the time to worry about the future, you have done your fair share of catastrophizing.
Still, it unnerves you now that you're confronted with the fact that time really does pass in Aedes Elysiae. Or maybe you changed so much that you've become unrecognizable.
"I'm so sorry about Snowy," Cyrene apologized, breaking you from your endless thoughts. "I haven't seen him this excited in a while though," she said fondly with a smile, almost like she and the dog shared a secret that you weren't privy to.
"It's alright, I missed this little fluffball too." Your cute aggression instincts kicked in, shaking the poor dog like he was a doll. To be honest, who could truly blame you? Snowy was the cutest, giant puppy that you have ever seen, and your heart was always weak to cute things.
(Like Phainon– Nope, shut up brain.)
Speaking of the Khaslana boy, you're surprised he hasn't shown up yet. Wherever Snowy went, Phainon was close behind. You used to joke that they were two halves of the same soul, and that in another life, Snowy would be the human and Phainon would be his dog.
(He'd never get the joke, saying that you were crazy for comparing him to a dog. But then he and Snowy would do that puppy head tilt that would send your heart into overdrive. How you refrained from kissing all over his face, you still don't understand.)
Maybe he was so busy that he didn't even have time to walk Snowy today, leaving that responsibility to Cyrene. Maybe Phainon had better things to do than to see you. You're definitely not hurt because of this, because isn't that the same thing you've been doing for the last five years? How many times did Phainon see your father's car pull up onto the driveway, only for your parents to tell them that you were busy with an internship or classes? It's only right that you finally had a taste of your own medicine.
You hope that he didn't think it was his fault, but that it was truly so suffocating to go back to that farmhouse. You wish you had the strength to tell him that he was the only reason you could breathe in Aedes Elysiae.
You were tackled back onto the couch by another even bigger snowball.
"Phainon! You're literally no better than Snowy!"
Cyrene's voice became less important than the comforting arms wrapped around your waist. It became even quieter when you realized what Phainon was whispering into your shoulder.
"I missed you."
He missed you. You smile dumbly at the thought.
He didn't forget about you. (He didn't find anyone better than you.)
"I missed you too. So much, Phainon," you whisper into his hair, lips so close to give him a kiss, but stopping yourself from doing so. You were so full of love for this man, but you wouldn't dare do anything unless he truly wanted it.
He shivers at the sound of you saying his name. You could only dare to hope that maybe your love was mutual.
(It was. He couldn't tell you how many nights he dreamt about hearing you say his name. From screaming it in excitement to quietly whispering it into his ear. Finally, he doesn't have to dream anymore now that he has a memory that will keep him warm until the next time he sees you. He won't tell you any of this, though. He doesn't want to scare you into disappearing for another half decade.)
After a minute you wished could have lasted longer, you let go of Phainon, pulling away from his embrace. He wasn't so ready to let you go, though, with his arms still lingering around your waist. But ever the gentleman, he reluctantly let go of you after another minute. The smell of wheat still lingered where he put his hands on you.
In your silent reverence to each other, you didn't notice Cyrene taking Snowy and leaving the front door quietly. You're sure that she's going to her parents to tell them that the lovebirds have reunited.
"How have you been?" he asks, voice so gentle like he was handling a delicate flower. If he spoke any louder, he might have destroyed the tension brewing between the two of you. Like he could ever ruin anything between you two. That role was always reserved for you.
"I've been good, just been busy." You should win the award for understatement of the year.
"Oh, don't I know it," Phainon chuckled. He rests his back against his couch with his hands behind his head. The shirt he wore beneath his hoodie rode up a little, giving you a chance to see– Holy fuck were those abs? When or where on earth did he get those? Come to think of it, your estranged childhood friend was always attractive to you. But somehow he went from the cute boy next door to a whole ass bombshell.
Focus, you're seeing the boy you loved since you were a kid, not gawking over the man in front of you.
"Your parents always told us about the great things you were doing," he continued, not knowing that you were going through a mini-freakout. "They're really proud of everything you did."
Oh. Your parents weren't heartless, but they didn't exactly sing your praises on a daily basis. If you were lucky, they would tell you that they loved you once a month. Mom and Dad had their ways to tell you that they love you, but words weren't one of them. To hear that they told other people they were proud of you warmed your heart.
To hear those words from Phainon's mouth set it on fire.
"They did?" you laugh nervously, never one to take a compliment easily. But when it's Phainon saying it with awe in his voice and pride in his eyes, it makes you believe that maybe you were actually as good as people say you are.
"Yeah, and I mean, who could blame them? I would do the same thing if you were my daughter–" his eyes widened when he realized what he said, while you smirked at his Freudian slip. "Not that I see you as a daughter, you're my best friend– wait is that weird to say since we haven't seen each other in years?" He only stopped when you put his hand on his beating heart.
"I know what you're trying to say, you dork."
"As long as I'm still your dork."
Good. Even after all this time and one hell of a glow up, he was still the silly boy who'd drag you to play hero.
You started telling him in detail about everything that you have been up to. Bless your parents' hearts for trying to brag about you, but you're pretty sure they don't even know what your major entails. Not that you blame them, corporate people love their jargon.
(In your monologue, you don't notice the way Phainon looked at you like you were his hero. Like somehow your days spent slaving at a desk gave you the ability to hang the stars in the night sky. He'd argue that you were always able to do that, but he was just reminded of your abilities. Oh you and your darling heart, who gives everything they have just to see tangible results. He wishes that you would slow down and relax. Preferably with you in his arms and your head on his chest.)
(For the last five years, Phainon felt that his heart was incomplete. But now his hero has come back to make him whole again.)
"Wow… I can't even imagine all the effort that must have needed," he says, trying to take in the experience overload that you have given him. Phainon, with wide eyes and a wider smile, sat up straighter and turned his body to you. "You truly are incredible, starlight."
You almost forgot the little nickname Phainon had for you.
(It happened one night when you two were stargazing at the night sky of Aedes Elysiae. The lack of lights and constant clear skies made stars shine in a way you've never seen before in Okhema. City lights look like fallen stars making their home on Earth, but even you have to admit that they had nothing on the actual stars in the skies in all their full glory. Never to Phainon, though, not wanting to give him another thing for Aedes Elysiae to have over Okhema.
But not even you could hide the starstruck look in your eyes from him.
"Do they not have stars in the city?" Phainon spoke after a moment of silence, smug in the way all teenage boys are. He lay on his back on the wheat field, with his hands behind his head. He didn't even bother looking up at the sky, his eyes only set on you. How this idiot could even think about looking at you over this gorgeous night sky is beyond you.
"Light pollution makes it hard to see them, but I find the night light to be pretty in its own way." You didn't notice Phainon moving a couple of inches closer to you. All you wanted to do was to drink up this sight, not knowing when you would come to see it again. Not that you would tell him, though, wanting to minimize his teasing as much as you could. Your poor heart couldn't take any more.
"Artificially pretty," he clarified, continuing his one-sided beef with anything urban. "Everything and anything from the city is only pretty because it's designed like that. Beauty without flaws will never be as pretty as the natural world."
Phainon had always believed that perfection lies in the little nuances that make everything different. A crack in an ancient vase. The way no two wheat plants are the same. The wrinkles and tan on his father's skin after a day out in the fields. Beauty in diversity and all that.
As much as you wished that you could follow that logic, the engraved need to be flawless was taught to you at a young age. If not by your parents, then by the circumstances surrounding your life. Maybe it's Okhema digging her claws into you, dragging you farther and farther away from Aedes Elysiae. (Unknowingly, you were drifting farther from Phainon, too.)
"So you think I'm ugly then?" you scoffed, taking your eyes away from the pretty sky above to the pretty boy next to you.
Phainon, realizing what he had accidentally implied, shot up from his back to defend himself.
"I mean, you're technically from Aedes Elysiae!" he tried to justify, like that would be enough to save him. "You're not as fake as most of the city people that come by here."
Okay, he wasn't in any danger. There were very few things Phainon could say that would actually make you mad. A small dig at your hometown is not one of them. Especially when you know that you could dish it right back.
"Oh? Is that coming from the town where it has to be extraordinarily beautiful just to prevent people from dying of boredom?" you chuckled, basing that comment entirely on your experience.
Phainon hadn't taken kindly to that comment, having decided to tackle you onto your back and tickle you mercilessly. Your lungs couldn't take in enough air between your laughter, and you begged him to let you go.
"Only if you take back your insult!" His wicked smile and dastardly laugh somehow made you fall deeper in love with him.
You conceded, using the end of his assault to finally breathe enough air to stop yourself from passing out. His warm hands left their invisible mark on you, and you don't think that you could find that same care in another person's arms.
"Did you know that your eyes reflect the stars above?"
Leave it to Phainon to knock what little air you have out of your lungs again.
"It's incredible to see the entire galaxy reflected in them." He didn't give you a chance to respond, just leaned closer to your face. When you tried to look away, he gently held your chin and made you look at him. "You're truly the most beautiful thing to come out of Okhema, starlight."
Starlight, huh. You start to fear that maybe, this boy will haunt your heart for the rest of forever.)
Your fears were right. You forgot how he called you starlight, made your heart burn like the sun.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," you said dismissively, turning your head to avoid Phainon's sun rays. "They're not anything impressive, just what I had to do to succeed– Ow! What was that for?" Your sentence was cut off with an aggressive and almost painful forehead poke.
"Stop dismissing your achievements, dummy!" He pouted as if it offended him that you would belittle yourself. "You Okhemans and your eternal need to be increasingly successful!"
"You Aedes Elysians and your desire to be complacent in your life." The insult was softened by the fondness in your voice. You may never know nor feel the desire to stay in one place for your life, especially as small as this little farmtown. But you envy the way that these people could be happy with what little they have. You wish you could find peace like that.
(Phainon would never want the self-imposed stress and expectations you place on yourself, but he wishes he had a little bit of your determination. Maybe then he could be able to dream big and be as accomplished as you. All to be a man worthy of standing by your side.)
The two of you fell silent, falling into old habits and banter. You barely flinch when he puts his head onto your shoulder, just wrapping your arm around him to hold you closer. He played with the drawstrings of your hoodie, twirling and pulling them like a cat playing with string.
For the first time in a long time, your mind became quiet. No thoughts about the future, no deadlines that you had to meet, and no anxiety holding you hostage. Peace wasn't the city life you came to love, or the farm town you begrudgingly missed. It's the arms of the boy that you adore, the ones that remind you that if it isn't him, then there would be no love in your future.
You take a breath in, some of Phainon's scent soothing your heart.
"Do you want to go stargazing?" you ask, breaking the veil of silence.
"At the old spot?" He lifts his head from your shoulder. With your nod of confirmation, he takes your hand and leads you to his car.
After a short car ride, filled with more mundane conversations about how much things have changed in the past few years, you arrived at the place where your best dreams take place.
You don't get the chance to sit down before Phainon took his hoodie off and laid it onto the ground. You squeeze his hand in thanks before you take your seat.
This scene hasn't changed from your memories. The stars above still convinced you that they were the gateway to heaven. You still couldn't look away, no matter how much you tried. And the boy who held your fragile heart still lay next to you, his eyes not wanting to look at anything but you.
"You haven't told me what you've been up to," you gently pried as you rest your head next to his. "There's no way you don't have any exciting news." As long as that news didn't include a partner, you would be ecstatic for him.
"There is one thing…" he couldn't continue his sentence, opting to turn away from you.
"Is everything alright?" Your eyes fill with concern, and you immediately go into disaster aversion mode. "Is someone bothering you? Phainon, if there is, I swear on the Titans I will kick their ass–"
"No, there isn't anything like that! Who in this town would hold a grudge like that against me?"
"So stop laughing and tell me what's wrong!" It wasn't an ask, it was a demand, one that was punctuated by a 'gentle' shove to his back. It barely moved him, but that wasn't the point.
"The Archaeological Society of Okhema asked me to join their Cultural Heritage team." He spoke like it was a confession to a war crime and not like his dream coming true. "The Head Historian who was in charge of the Ancient Warriors artifacts wants me to join as a Research Assistant."
"Phainon, that's amazing!" You gave him the best hug you could muster, clinging onto his back. If you were standing, you'd know damn well that you'd be jumping for joy. Phainon always enjoyed learning about the past, ironic considering history was allegedly his worst subject.
"It's cool to see that we aren't alone in our struggle. That whenever we feel really alone, we have proof that people before us have suffered from the same thing. And then from their mistakes, we can learn and create a better future for all of us!"
You had a couple of friends back at the Grove who were also into archaeology. They always spoke about how competitive the Society was, only taking a limited amount of people with seemingly no standard set of requirements. The fact that Phainon got in was the highest honour he could achieve this early in his career.
You didn't miss how you seemed more excited than he was.
"Is there a reason why you're not jumping for joy?" You unwrap your arms from his waist and lean over his body, trying to gauge his expression. Sometimes you wish that you could crack his head open to see what was going on in his head. (Like, did he love you or are you a fool for holding out for this long?)
"I don't think I'm going to accept the offer," he spoke with a resolve that said he wasn't going to change his mind. You physically held yourself back from shaking him by his shoulders and calling him an idiot.
"I see…" You grit your teeth in hopes of hiding your disappointment. Everyone had their reasons for making certain decisions, even if you could clearly see that it was the wrong decision.
"It's okay, you can be honest and harsh with me." Thank goodness, he knows you so well.
"In that case, you're an idiot!" You followed through with your earlier threat and shook him by his shoulders. But that wasn't enough to describe your frustration. In your anger, you didn't realize you found your way into his lap. "Even I know that the Society barely accepts anyone, you have to accept it!"
"It's not that simple, Starlight." Phainon took your hands from his shoulders and held them in his arms.
"It is though! I can even help–"
"I'm not like you."
Your silence gave him the motivation to continue.
"Ever since Cyrene has started her degree, mom and dad have no one to look after them," he starts, thumbing your knuckles to find the strength to continue. "I can see that the year out on the field is taking its toll on them. Mom can barely stand while she makes dinner, and dad's back gets worse every year."
"For you, the Society is down the road. For me, it's halfway across Amphoreus. I don't think I can be that far away from them." Phainon's voice cracked, full of frustration and anger at his situation, and you could only hope that you would be able to quell the fire in his heart. He unfortunately made a great point, but it wasn't good enough to watch him throw his dream away.
"Do they know?" you ask, and your hand found its way on his cheek, wiping off the tears that fell. He shook his head. "Phainon, you can't make this decision without telling them."
"I know them!" He raises his voice, but never enough to scare you. "They're going to try and convince me that everything is okay, and then struggle when I'm not here." He sniffles, wiping his face to try to rub his headache away.
"Hm, sounds like you're doing the same thing you're accusing them of." You weren't being a smartass about it, you were simply trying to point out the logical fallacy in his argument. "Knowing them, they'd want you to take this opportunity, they have the rest of the town to help them."
"Maybe you are right," he laughs, and you smile in response. "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm just…"
"Just?"
"I'm scared." A quiet confession from an even quieter voice. But you would always hear him, no matter what was blocking his voice from speaking.
"Of what? Okhema isn't that scary." The big city definitely came with extra crime, and you would be the first to admit that you've been carrying a knife on you since you were a kid. But it's as bad as people make it out to be. As long as you know what places and colours to avoid.
"For you, maybe now. But that's because you were born for it, raised in it." Phainon spoke with a steady voice, yet there was a little insecurity seeping into his words. For the life of you, you couldn't tell why. "You don't realize how the atmosphere of the city can be terrifying for someone like me."
"I'm just a farm boy from butt-fuck middle of nowhere, your words, not mine. I'm terrified that Okhema is going to chew me up and spit a version of me that I can't recognize." The more fear that entered Phainon's voice, the more he started to cling to you like you were his lifeline. "I see the way the city treats you, and how tired your parents would say that you are. As much as I care for you, I don't think I could do all of that."
"...I won't lie to you, Okhema demands a lot from its citizens," you admit the secret that you've been denying about your home. You remember how callous you'd be when people complained about how draining the city can be. You'd tell them that if they want easier, they should go somewhere else where they'd have less of a challenge and leave room for those who're worthy. But hearing Phainon's fear that he wasn't good enough made you reevaluate your perhaps, rude outlook on this topic.
"But she has more to offer you than you could ever imagine." Maybe you're biased, but from its sky-high towers to the cliffs you'd roam endlessly, Okhema had something for everyone, as long as you knew where to look. You push his hair back to have a better view of his eyes. "There are ways for you to balance its demands from its joys, I'm just an awful example of that."
He smiles through his tears, and you would trip and make a fool of yourself in front of all your colleagues just to keep him this happy.
"You can't be afraid of this opportunity because you don't think you're good enough, you deserve so much better than that." You slowly wrap your arms around his neck, and when he doesn't push you away, you pull him into a hug. He held you in return, running his hand up and down your back.
"And you can't push yourself to literal exhaustion just to prove yourself to ghosts." He pulls back far enough to press his forehead against yours. "You're already the most incredible person I know."
"That's a small sample size considering how tiny Aedes Elysiae is," you giggle at the reaction that you got from him. But him rolling his eyes didn't hide the smile that he tried to hide away in the guise of annoyance.
"God you're so annoying, I don't even know how I started to love you."
You both stared at each other, comprehending the weight of Phainon's words. In this liminal space where your bodies went limp and your mouth ran dry, you're well aware that you are now at the point of no return. You almost hope that Phainon revealed that he was just joking. But you know him better than that, for as flirty and teasing as he can be, he would never use that word carelessly.
"Well, if we're being brave today," he swallowed his fear and sat up straighter. "I have loved you from the moment I saw you get knocked off your father's horse. Even after years of not seeing you, my heart still beats to the sound of your voice. If you don't feel the same I understand and–"
This time, it was your turn to cut him off. You kiss him, messy and impatient. In your defence, you have been waiting for this moment for years. You gently push him back onto the ground, slowly climbing on top of him. His hands pulled you in closer, as if he let you go, you would disappear forever. Your bodies are in sync, and souls merged together as one, like you both shared the same stardust from the sky above you.
You pull away, laughing at the little whine he gave you. Eyes glossy, lips wet and cheeks red. By the Titans, how could a man be so utterly adorable and so dangerously handsome at the same time?
"Does that answer your question?" you say as your lips find the skin on his neck.
"Hm, not really. Maybe I need more proof." He wiggles his eyebrows, and you resisted the urge to squeeze his cheeks until he choked.
You didn't dignify his teasing with a verbal answer, but you continue to kiss him all the same. And that was the exact answer he was looking for.
In a few months, you will both head out to Okhema to start a new chapter in your lives.
For him, this will be a time to take risks and put himself out there.
For you, it's your chance to enjoy the hard work you put in and to enjoy the fruits of your labour.
Maybe years down the line, when you both come to the realization that you don't need to work anymore, you'll move back to Aedes Elysiae and open a little antique shop. Phainon has always been a nerd for appraising the value of old artifacts. And maybe you'll quietly retire with a full and successful life, happy with everything you accomplished.
He thought he would never leave his small town. You thought you would never return.
If life were about broken promises and subverting expectations, then you wouldn't have anyone but the pretty boy with blue eyes by your side.
office.... office phai... im so unwell rhen i need him sososo bad
Zo I- (girl this is an A T T A C K )
I need him too like 🤤 Let me help him button his shirt back up because he’s lowkey violating the office dress code 😤 (or do I play dumb and let him keep it open…).
Can we talk about how slutty Office Phai is (/j)?? Like ugh he just has to keep his choker on which shows off his tattoo, walks in with his top two buttons undone, showing off his cleavage. AND on top of that, his dainty little name tag clipped on right where his boobs are.
thinking abt a modern au with our boyfailure phainon. our white-haired, puppy man with beefy muscles his buttons are about to pop out whenever he’s clad in a polo shirt. our nerdy phaicham who likes playing games (def into pokemon me thinks) & cutie phaicham who wears eye glasses.
phaicham who’s clingy towards you ever since you’ve befriended him during elementary and stuck with you since then. phaicham who whines when you tell him— “you’re already a grown man, you can go to the eye doctor on your own!” and this Hunk of man whines again by pulling your blanket, not willing to lose in this silly tug of war. it’s unfair because of his grip strength.
“but you always come with me! why not now?”
you don’t look at him. “i’m sleepy!”
“and it’s all because you stayed up all night again, watching some stream.” phainon furrows his brows. “come on, get up. up up up!”
he keeps on tugging, and you relent in defeat. “fine!”
phainom’s very bright grin almost blinds you. “don’t worry, i’ll still come with you on your OBGYN check up in two months.”
you flush a darker red, mortified. “WHAT?! How did you even remember that?! and that was one time, i didn’t have a car then! you don’t need to give me a ride anymore!”
the puppy eyes make a return. “why noot?”
the bickering continues. this routine of being close with phainon, and making more memories with phainon. you stick your tongue out by the glass window when phainon meets your eyes during his eye check up, and he just sends you a gentle smile.
that following night, after being pulled by phainon everywhere—to the farmer’s market (“because my parents want to see you again,”), to the arcade (“i wanna defeat mydei’s score!”), and to the antique shop (“you’re gonna get soooo broke, phai.” “hey!”), the road leads you to your most awaited destination.
“do you really have to watch that stream? you don’t want me anymore?” from the driver’s seat, phainon asks you, a pout on his face.
“quit being a baby,” you tell him, as you unbuckle your seatbelt. “i have more important matters to attend to.”
he gasps, offended. he leans closer towards you, “don’t lie!”
you raise your hands in defense. “i’m kidding! and come on, we’re still gonna see each other tomorrow anyway. for castorice’s trivia night.”
“yeah, and you better not go back on your word. you almost did it this morning.”
you tap him on the nose, and he blinks his blues. “you have my spare keys, which means you seriously have full access to yank me again.” as you open the car door, you give him a threatening gaze. (it has no effect on him.) “just not tonight. khaslana will be streaming! and you know i don’t wanna miss out!”
phainon huffs lightly, as he perches his arm on his wheel. “what’s so special about this guy anyway?”
“don’t even joke about that,” you laugh, before finding yourself finally outside phainon’s car. you knock on his window, and you see his face again when said window rolls down. in a less playful tone, you say, “see you tomorrow, phai?”
you know how he gets, so you feel yourself relieved when he blinks twice, and smiles warmly back at you. he returns both of his hands on his wheel and replies, “see you tomorrow.”
on the way to his apartment, phainon is quiet. he doesn’t even turn the radio on. doesn’t even respond to any text messages. even while parking, and entering the elevator.
what greets him inside his loft is a dimmed space. he heads towards his bedroom—to his spot with the three monitors—before plopping down to his gaming chair, and turning it on.
he types into his keyboard, and clicks onto a few programs. as he waits for the screen to load, he turns to the side.
a picture frame of you, grinning widely at the camera, with your arm wrapped around his. phainon hides a smile at the sight, before taking a deep breath.
he clicks on start streaming.
and soon enough, his chat makes some noise.
KHASLANAAA
hiii khaslana
YOOOOO
HES ONNN
he wonders how you’ll react when khaslana’s right in front of you the whole time?
so basically the reader is a fan of khaslana who’s actually phainon’s super cool alter ego or smth GKSJSKS
my mind cannot shut up abt this man. this concept is also where reader crushes hard on khaslana and they’ll probably won’t be able to fathom how such cool dude is Phainon all along GJSHSJSJ
also i just want phaicham to get a lil jelly of his own self LOLOLOLOLL phaicham they prefer ur vtuber / j
//holds back, I'm sat. First of all- holy shit?? Thank you for the meal Butter because this might as well be a fic 😮
You said modern au boyfailure Phainon + beefy muscles + buttons about to pop + and I'm sold LOL. Wait wait WAIT- hear me out... because Phai is known to have terrible fashion sense, I wouldn't put it past him to accidentally get the wrong size clothes 👀 Like he'd be working out, and doesn't even realize his body has gotten beefier, so he keeps getting the same size shirts and pouts wondering why he can't fit. More importantly, I'm not complaining- #ignoranceisbliss
YES I love nerdy gamer Phai wearing glasses and playing Pokemon. Bro definitely does not know that his nerdy ass is attractive. The way this would be a goldmine for me because I'm in love with this man AND I love Pokemon.
I love this entire thing because Phainon at his heart is still a kid (endearingly), like in a sentimental way, even when he is (like you said) a grown ass man. He remembers things, he's not embarrassed to express himself, he wants to stay close and be with us.
He's clingy af too!! Ever since befriending him, he sticks by us 24/7 and if we're not with him he's pouting. He NEEDS to be with us. He doesn't care if you're responsible and can manage yourself- he is accompanying us and pulling us to anything and everything!!
To the farmer’s market (“because my parents want to see you again,”)
IM MELTING- Butter I love this so much UGHHH HES SO 😫 He would 100% say that. The mix of childhood nostalgia and closeness, but also the simplicity and straightforwardness of how he would say it because he wants you in his home and to treat you well, which he hopes you don't catch onto the domestic undertones of the whole situation (+ his feelings). And then whether or not his parents actually said that because he's always genuine but then again you also probably have the blessing of his parents already... I need him.
To the arcade (“i wanna defeat mydei’s score!”)
I know these are just small moments but I love even his rivalry with Mydei needs you beside him <33
And to the antique shop (“you’re gonna get soooo broke, phai.” “hey!”)
Nobody asked but I am an advocate for broke Phai LOL. But also I love this thought of him taking us to experience his hobbies, and vice versa!
You know what, Phainon would be the only person in the world to get jealous of himself (and I'm pretty sure it's canon? Didn't he refer to Khaslana as separate to himself?), way to create an original experience Phai. I can't express how much I love this because of course he would. Boyfailure activities /j.
Also this has such great comedy potential like I can see Phainon knowing we love Khaslana, and trying to mix in his personality and streaming personality, but it ends up being weird and reader is like wtf. Phainon teasing us is somehow normal, but to others it can be seen as flirting. But when he tries to be all cool and confident like Khaslana is, reader is like huh??? He just becomes a soggy puppy whenever we gush about Khaslana in front of him (his own self btw), and wants our attention even more. He sees your eyes light up even at the mention of a Khaslana stream happening in 3 days, and he wonders if he could make you smile that easily from his real self. (He already does, but obviously he's dumb and greedy /affectionate).
I LOVE THIS BUTTER THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR THOUGHTS!!!
