See, Pip and Pin had a cute little running bit– well, Pip said they did, and it was that Pin copied him endlessly. Took his name, took chorus just like him, came out as gay. Pip always played up how annoyed he was about all those things because he knew it was irrational to be annoyed in the first place, so turning it into a joke was much more palatable, and his friend understood this on an implicit level. Probably.
Anyway, now Pin wasn’t copying him anymore.
This was his own entire thing. Pip couldn’t understand it fully. Parts of it, sure, but…
Pip felt weirdly jealous in a brand new way as Pin smiled and looked at ease. That’s what an identity should do. But Pip didn’t have that. Maybe it’s because being gay had never been a question for him and so there was no big sigh of relief when he finally found it, like the last piece of a puzzle clicking into place. Instead, his identity only brought with it new challenges and stressors, i.e. the entire REASON he called Pin here in the first place. Pip knew objectively he was extremely lucky to get to worry about the things he worried about, instead of like, discrimination and hate crimes. Don’t get him wrong, he did not want those things.
But he did envy Pin how content he looked. And he felt– left behind, kind of.
Sure, he’d complained about the copying thing but he hadn’t meant it. He’d liked that they were both gay. It connected them. Made them stronger. And now his kissing problem was definitely dumb and very tone-deaf, like, wow–
Please do not make this about you right now, Pip chastised himself in his own brain. At least he was self-aware to realize all that. Best way to deal? Create a distraction!
So he smiled back. “That’s great! Yay! Wow, I wish I had like, confetti to throw up in the air or something, I–oh!”
Pip sat up, leaned down to the end of the bed, and snatched up the silly piece of paper that had brought them here in the first place.
He offered it to his friend.
“Joshua “Phillip”–” yes he put Pin’s real name in quotes “–Nam,” said Pip dramatically, “to honor your coming out, you may now rip up our contract. It’s terms are definitely void now anyway.”
Pin should have known that Pip would be supportive. He did know, deep down, but fear was irrational and the smile on Pip’s face lifted the weight of the world off of Pin’s shoulders. Pin could handle just about anyone thinking he was wrong or different or broken--but never Pip. Pip was the person he loved most in the entire world.
When Pip held up the contract for Pin to rip up, Pin smiled and yeah, maybe his eyes felt a little misty for a second. He blinked that away, though, quickly, and cleared his throat. “Not so fast,” Pin said, sitting up straighter and holding out his hand so he could take the contract and smooth it out on the bed in between them.
“There are still some really good points in here, you know, and this contract was never a one way thing.” He scanned it over. “Actually, there are some pretty impressive terms in here and it really would be a shame to rip up our first contract just to have to make another one.”
Because, yeah, maybe it was dramatic and unnecessary to have a contract stating that they wouldn’t fall in love with each other, but basically everything they did was dramatic and unnecessary. That was them!
Pin picked up a pen and started to write at the bottom of the page.
Addendum: The above signatories both agree to avoid romantic feelings for one another, even upon introduction of new relationship elements. i.e. One kiss for purely scientific purposes and the added bonus of life experience in the face of crippling nerves.
Kisses didn’t have to be romantic. They didn’t have to be sexual. Pin liked holding Pip’s hand and cuddling with him sometimes. He liked it when Pip played with his hair and none of those things were ever weird. And look, he wasn’t saying he wanted to start kissing Pip all the time. He didn’t. But he did kind of want to kiss him just this once. Because if Pip could be here for him when he felt like his whole life was kind of imploding around this new self-discovery thing, then he could be here for Pip to touch their lips together and soothe his friend’s nerves.
“Here,” he said, and handed the contract back to Pip.
