winchester; like the rifle.

[righteousdeanw]

sammyatdalton:

I went with Batman. Not just because you suggested it but also because that Batman vs Superman movie is coming out next year and I have hope that this might be the revival that DC needs.

Batman is the best. And I can’t wait for the movie, if I’m honest. And I must say that it was a great choice, man.

[righteousdeanw]

cursedbloodsam:

I’m not saying anything, just stop and think about it for a minute.

Sex doesn`t count.

[righteousdeanw]

cursedbloodsam:

Perhaps you’re the one with dirty thoughts.

Frustrated that I won’t be a vampire? But you said you didn’t want it. All of that was weird.

Well, you do know I have a one track mind. But you aren`t all that far behind.

I didn`t want it before your suggestion of sucking my blood.

[righteousdeanw]

masontheangel:

I’m pretty sure I’m not drunk, and finally nice to meet you Dean.

Finally? I reckon you`ve met Sam, then? What`s your name?

[righteousdeanw]

masontheangel:

Why yes I am sure, this is my natural hair.  I am lost, because I know drugs are bad for me and I am not on drugs. 

Okay, then, if you`re so sure. Well, the name`s Dean.

[righteousdeanw]

Sparks Fly | Wincest

WHO → Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester

WHEN → October 15th.

WHERE → Their dorm.

WHAT → Sam comes to the dorm early and finds Dean cleaning everything.

Warnings → Incest, fluff, angst, self-loathing.

Dean would clean their dorm every Thursday after his ten o’clock class ended, because he had a free afternoon and Sam had classes until almost night. It was the best way to clean it, without Sammy near, because then Dean wouldn’t get distracted and would actually do something useful with his day, instead of fuck like bunnies. So every Thursday, after Dean got in the dorm after his class, he’d eat some heated food from the previous day and start cleaning. First their rooms, changing the bed linens, sweeping the floor, maybe even mopping it, then taking the dust out of any surface and then adding the salt all over again, making new symbols if any got damaged with the cleaning material he used. Afterwards, Dean would clean the bathroom – toilet, sink, shower, floor and make sure their clothes were washed and clean. And then the last place he’d clean was the kitchen-slash-living room. He’d sweep and mop the floor, then dust everything and since it was the less used part of their house. He’d spend some precious time cleaning the kitchen and making sure all utensils were shining from how clean they were and only then he’d take a shower and maybe even take a nap as he waited for Sam to arrive. That day, though, Dean decided to prepare some dinner before he started with his cleaning. Not only that, but he also started preparing a pie because he felt like eating it, and honestly? His cooking skills had only improved since they started living in the dorm. Once the food was on the stove and the pie on the oven, Dean decided to clean the living room-slash-kitchen first, not liking to leave the dishes to be done last when he cooked. So in only his underwear, Dean turned on the radio – it was a shame it wasn’t a classic rock station, but some of the songs were pretty nice – and started sweeping and mopping, doing so in a few minutes. He was singing on the top of his lungs at a Taylor Swift song as he dusted the furniture  when he turned to the door and saw his brother standing there – completely wet and full of mud on his feet and pants and Dean didn’t know if he should feel embarrassed for being caught singing a girl song or angry at the mess Sam was already making. “What the hell, dude!” Dean pointed at his feet accusingly. “I just cleaned the floor in here!”

Sam ran over the grass to spare time on the way back to the dorm. The rain caught him unprepared – he wasn't used to carrying umbrellas – and he wanted to get back soon and take a hot shower. But not even the rain could ruin his good mood. He'd done pretty good on a difficult test and he didn't have to stay in class as the professor would discuss the questions. As Sam got to the door, muddy boots leaving footprints on the floor of the corridor, he was pretty sure he heard Dean singing to a cheesy pop song that was blasting on the radio. He smiled and walked into the room. He only had a second to take in the scene before him – Dean in his underwear, seemingly dusting off the furniture. Sam looked up in surprise at being called out, not knowing what he did wrong, until he glanced to his feet and remembered that his shoes were dirty. "Oops, sorry." He replied quickly, taking his boots off. "You look adorable when you're all domestic." Sam smirked at that, stepping further into the room in just his socks to take his boots to the bathroom. He would take care of that later, now he wanted to kiss his brother. And that's what he did, wrapping an arm around Dean and pulling him in for a kiss. "Are you cooking too?" Sam asked in amusement, catching a faint smell of food. There was definitely something sweet in the oven. He knew that Dean enjoyed having a place to keep tidy, a place to feel like the home they had always longed for. Sam liked not having to move around, but he wasn't as careful with house chores. It was very endearing to see his brother doing it for him. "Anyway, you shouldn't yell at your smart little brother like that, guess who aced a test?" He announced proudly.

Dean rolled his eyes, not really believing his brother was sorry at all and he huffed when Sam called him /adorable/, which only made his cheeks glow red. He opened his mouth to speak, but Sam was soon coming to him and pulling him to a kiss. Sam was wet and cold and Dean squirmed a bit into the embrace, wanting to keep kissing Sam, but also being almost completely naked and now cold, too. “C’mon, Sam, you’re all wet.” Dean complained, but didn’t move away from Sam. He blushed harder at the mention of the food he was making and Dean didn’t like it, didn’t like to be caught being so domestic, didn’t like to seem like a housewife. “I thought it would be nice to eat something a little different during the week too. And there’s also apple pie.” He shrugged, as if it was nothing – and he wished it was nothing, because he truly felt like Sam’s wife and that was embarrassing, although he also felt warm all over at the thought. He liked to take care of Sammy, he liked to cook and clean the house and be domestic. He didn’t like to admit those things, though. When Sam said he had aced a test, Dean’s eyes actually widened and he beamed, completely proud. “That’s my boy.” Dean said, hand going to Sam’s head to ruffle his hair but he stopped midway when he noticed he’d only get the dorm wetter. “But y’know what would be even greater? If my nerd of a little brother didn’t catch a cold. So go take a shower and try not to get the house all dirty.” He said, starting to push Sam in the direction of their bedroom so he could go to the bathroom and take a shower. “Then you can come back and brag about how awesome and nerd you are while I continue cleaning, okay?” Dean said with a smile, giving him a peck on the lips. Dean then turned his back and returned to the living room, ready to clean the mud from in front of the door and then the small puddle from where they kissed. He could continue the dusting after.

Sam loved to see the blush on Dean's cheeks. It made him look even more adorable, which was what embarrassed him in the first place. But who could say otherwise? Dean was cleaning their dorm and dancing around only in his underwear, it was the very definition of adorable. Sam didn't push it, though, and he pouted a little when his brother complained that he was wet from the rain. "I gotta buy a new umbrella." He sighed, but the wide smile came back as Dean confirmed he was cooking and even baking a pie. "I can get used to coming home to this." Sam commented dreamily. Of course he meant it in the future too. He doubted that Dean would want to stay at home all the time, but if either of them had the tendency to take on the housewife role, it was definitely Dean. Apparently that also included nagging Sam to shower and not mess up the clean floor. He rolled his eyes and chuckled as he was pushed to the bathroom. "Alright, alright, I'm going." He did want a shower after all and he doubted he would convince his brother to join him right away. Perhaps it would be easier to distract him later. Sam stripped off his wet clothes and headed to the shower, setting the water to a hot temperature to warm up his body. Looking down at his chest, he realized it was about time he waxed up again, but he had forgotten to buy more. Well, he could always ask Dean later. Sam took a reasonable time there, then put on just a pair of boxers, since Dean wasn't wearing anything else either. "There, happy now?" He raised his eyebrows and held his arms out, as if showing he was clean and warm again. "By the way, do you have any wax left? Mine's over and I'm not going out in the rain to buy more now."

Dean hummed, agreeing with Sam. For some reason, they still didn’t have an umbrella, since they started school. It had rained after they had moved there, but it seemed that today was raining heavier, which meant that they’d really need an umbrella. Dean was going to have to remember that to buy two umbrellas. Not that it would matter much, mainly to Sam, who was tall as a post and would end up with his legs and feet wet anyway. But it would still be better than having nothing. “I clean this freaking dorm every Thursday and I don’t get a single thanks and you’re now saying you want this all the time?” He teased Sam. He understood what Sam had meant by that, but he didn’t want to be the one being mocked there, so he moved the focus back to Sam. When his brother was finally in the shower, Dean cleaned his mess and finished the kitchen and living room. He turned off the radio and checked on the food, but it still needed more time. Dean was cleaning the bedroom when Sam left the shower and he laughed at Sam’s antics. “Yeah, way happier. Don’t mess anything I’ve cleaned.” He warned, moving about the room, sweeping the floor. Sam made quite a sight being only in his underwear, but Dean had to clean the dorm, otherwise the mess would only accumulate and he’d have to clean it next week. The broom he was using to sweep the floor fell to the floor at Sam’s words, though. He cleared his throat before taking the broom from the floor and looking at his brother. “Wax? Hm, what?” He frowned. He blinked a couple of times before letting his eyes run over Sam’s body, but it went only to his chest and Dean gasped. He walked over to where Sam was standing and put one hand on Sam’s chest, mesmerized. “You have chest hair?” Because Dean didn’t have any. Sometimes he’d be lucky enough to have a couple in random places on his chest, but he naturally didn’t have any and while growing up he had hated it, but then Sam didn’t seem to have either and Dean was a bit relieved. But now he was shocked and embarrassed and self-conscious. Sam thought he waxed? God, he just wanted to hide.

Sam shook his head. He didn't want Dean to think that he wasn't grateful, he was simply pointing out how nice it was to find his brother-slash-lover cleaning up their place after a day out. In the future, it would be after work and Sam could see the picture painted perfectly in his mind. "Thanks, then." He said playfully, but he meant it. Dean deserved to be appreciated for the things he did and it had an interesting effect on him. Sam couldn't help but sigh dramatically when his brother advised him not to mess up what he had already cleaned. And people said /he/ was the control freak. He sat on the bed as he watched Dean sweeping the floor. He could think of a million other interesting things they should be doing, but he left it at that for the time being. The broom fell to the floor with a thud and Sam blinked a few times, puzzled as he looked up at Dean. "You don't?" It was supposed to be a joke, /of course/ his brother had chest hair, but as Dean came to touch his chest with a look of awe he immediately regretted saying those words so lightly. "You don't." Sam repeated, now as a revelation. He had never even thought of that. He noticed that Dean didn't have much body hair, and where he did it was light and less noticeable, but he had assumed that his hairless chest was due to waxing. It was the whole reason Sam started doing it too as soon as /his/ body hair began growing, as another way to be like his brother – and maybe suit to his liking. "I didn't know." He commented, failing to think of something else to say. "Do you mind it?"

Dean was filled with utter happiness when Sam thanked him. He just smiled though, but inside, he was proud of himself. He loved doing all those domestic things because he had never had a home and now that he had – sort of – he wanted to take good care of it. But having Sam acknowledging it and being thankful made Dean even giddier than ever. He understood what Sam meant by wanting to get home to this and while Dean planned on having a job, thank you very much, he could easily see himself getting home earlier just to make a nice dinner to Sam. Well, they’d get there and when it happened, Dean knew he would gladly take the ‘housewife’ role. Not that he would say so out loud, and if Sam every said it he’d be punched in the face. He was having such a nice time thinking about their future when he was attacked by the fact that Sam had body hair. Not that Dean didn’t have it, but his legs had very little hair – not to mention that the little he had was very light and thin – his arm also had very little hair. Even his butt was hairless. His problem, though, had always been the chest hair. When Sam asked, clearly amused, if he didn’t have, Dean frowned and stepped back, crossing his arms – or as much as he could while still holding a broom. He was now more self-conscious than ever. First he found out he had bowlegs, now he found out that Sam had freaking hair and apparently /waxed/. “Well, now I do!” He said in a harsh tone. He shouldn’t lash out on Sammy, though, it wasn’t his fault. “I mean, I hated it when I was younger. Dad looked like a bear, all cover in hair and I couldn’t grow a single one. But then a couple of years ago I noticed you didn’t have, either, so I thought that it should be okay. Now I hate it again.” Dean didn’t care about body hair when related to sex, although, granted, most girls didn’t have any hair in their bodies, but with men he didn’t care and he had even slept with some bears in his day and it had felt nice. So really, he didn’t care about other people’s body hair. He cared /he/ didn’t have it. “Let’s just… move on. Talk about your grades. You the only one who aced it?” Changing the subject would hopefully make Dean forget this embarrassment. He resumed with the sweeping, trying not to stare at his brother’s chest.

Sam 's eyes widened at the harsh response. Well, not that he could blame Dean, his comment had been insensitive, but only because he didn't know. He didn't take it as a personal offense, though, seeing that the problem was Dean's uncomfortableness with it. Sam understood it as his brother explained how it used to bother him – Dean had always strived to be like John, keep up with his high standards of what a man should be. It was something that affected Sam less and he'd never let it stop him from the things he wanted to do, often hearing playful comments on how girly he was. So yes, it made sense that now Dean was upset because he was the manly one in some way. It was stupid to him, but he knew better than to brush it off. "Yes, I was." Sam replied, but his grades didn't seem as important at the moment. He stood up and held his brother's arm to make him stop sweeping. "I like it, you know. That you don't… well, I think it's attractive." He wasn't lying. Dean's body was perfect to him – had always been – and it set the bar pretty high for others, including himself. Sam moved a hand up Dean's chest, but he was looking into his eyes. "It doesn't mean anything. And honestly, it makes it easier than waxing." He chuckled. He was already used to it, but it was bothersome at times. "I started because of you, I thought that's how you like it, and I got used to it. I should have known you don't need to make any effort to look amazing." Sam smiled seconds before brushing their lips together. "How about you stop cleaning and I'll show you how much I love your body?" He kissed his brother slowly, teasingly.

Dean was going to continue praising his brother for the job well done when he felt Sam’s hand on his arm, making him stop. He looked up at Sam in a challenging way, almost as if telling Sam to dare to say something. His whole face changed the moment Sam said he /liked/ it. Dean frowned and opened his mouth, but he had no idea what to say. It would be no use, anyway, since Sam wasn’t over speaking. Dean blushed, never really considering that he could be considered attractive for his lack of hair, but he stood there, feeling Sam’s palm against his chest and his heart was beating so fast Sam probably could feel it. Dean gaped at Sam when he mentioned that he started waxing because of Dean and he finally found his voice a moment later. “I don’t mind.” Then there were lips on his own and Dean closed his eyes, but Sam was speaking again and Dean just groaned before Sam finally kissed him. Not that it made things better – of course it did – because it was still teasing Dean and he could already feel his cock hardening up in his underwear. He forced them to break the kiss, but Dean didn’t get too far. There was something he needed to do first, though. “Wait a moment.” He put the broom against a wall before going out of the room to look at the food. Thankfully things were all ready, so he just turned the things off and returned to the room. “I don’t really care if you have chest hair or not. I mean, I’m curious, I wanted to see how it is. I wanted to touch it. But I really don’t mind.” Dean asked honestly, looking deep into his brother’s eyes as he put both arms around Sam’s neck and pulled him down. He then smirked, licking his own lips before speaking. “You said you were going to show me how much you loved my body?” Dean said, thrusting his hips once against Sam so he could feel he was hard already. “I think I’d like that.” Dean would still feel a bit self-conscious about it, probably, but how could he ever say no to sex?

Sam hummed softly in acknowledgment. He wanted to point it out that if Dean didn't mind for him he shouldn't mind for /himself/ but it wouldn't do any good. Instead he decided to focus on reminding Dean that he loved his body the way it was. It was funny that until a couple years Sam couldn't have imagined his brother being self-conscious about his appearance, he'd always seemed to own it with a grace that was actually impressive. "I'm used to it now." Sam said with a shrug. He pouted when Dean moved away, leaving him alone in the middle of their room, hot and bothered. He didn't complain because he remembered the food and he agreed that it was a smart move to turn it off before they got distracted. When Dean came back, Sam easily wrapped his arms around him. "Maybe I can wait a bit longer this time. Like I said, I'm used to not having it, I don't even know how much there is if I don't wax often. I'm curious too." He let out a gasp at the sudden friction between their hips, allowing him to feel the hard line of Dean's cock. Sam couldn't even tease his brother about being easy for him, as he was also getting hard quickly. "You should know I love you. All of you. But I'm always happy to show it so you don't forget." He smiled, leading them to the bed. He pushed Dean to lie down and then climbed on top of him, wondering where they should begin this with. Sam leaned in for another kiss, but it didn't last long. He was soon moving down to run his tongue over Dean's chest, stopping to suck right on the middle. "There's a lot of skin to taste." He mumbled appreciatively.

Dean perked up at Sam’s words and he nodded eagerly. He was extremely curious now. Would Sam’s chest be more like John’s? Or would he have a small quantity? Would it be thick or thin? Long? Since Dean didn’t have any to compare, he could only imagine, but he was grateful Sam was willing to show him. He should have paid more attention on Sammy’s body as it changed, because he had honestly believed his brother had been as hairless as him. However, there was no need to worry about that at that moment. He could feel Sam as hard as him and Dean wanted more. Being only in their boxers were suddenly too much. “I know you do. But I love it when you make me remember.” Dean smiled fondly, falling to the bed in a swift motion and soon Sam was on top of him. He sighed into the kiss, then, ad Dean wanted more, wanted to lose himself into his brother’s mouth, wanted to taste him, feel him, love him. But then Sam stopped and Dean whined. However, soon after Sam was already licking over his chest and Dean gasped, understanding now what Sam was doing. He brought both hands to Sam’s hair, petting him softly, just to have somewhere to hold. Sam spoke in such a low voice, but Dean was still able to hear it and he blushed. “Are you serious? Don’t you think it’s weird?” Dean asked cautiously. Dean wasn’t one to show his insecurities to people. Even when he had stumbled across lovers that would make a comment about his body, he wouldn’t care, because they didn’t matter to him. It was usually a one night stand so Dean didn’t need to care how his body looked like for a one time thing. But with Sam, though… This was his brother and Sam knew him. He couldn’t hide how self-conscious he was sometimes, and this seemed to be one of those moments. In all honesty, Dean would probably was his chest if he had chest hair, because he knew that girls – and many boys – liked this way better. But not even having the option was what made Dean self-conscious. He knew he looked good and he used his body at its full strength when he needed, but here, lying under Sam while his brother paid attention to his chest just because no hair grew there Dean could only open up to Sam.

Sam smiled fondly at Dean's eagerness to see how his chest would look without waxing. He had never considered it, thinking that it would be weird to have hair where Dean didn't have anything. It became part of his routine but now that his brother was curious about it, Sam could leave it natural for a while. For now, he was more interested in the things they could do in bed. "Hmm, I'll always remind you." He purred, chuckling at Dean's soft protest when they stopped kissing. It didn't take long before Dean got with the new program and Sam was happy to hear the gasp that told him he was doing it right. He spread light kisses over his brother's chest, tongue running from one point to the other. Even though he was doing it to soothe Dean's self-consciousness, he was definitely having fun with it. Sam didn't need to lie, his appreciation was obvious in the quiet hum bubbling up in his throat as he paid attention to the shapely and smooth planes of Dean's chest. "I'm serious." He confirmed in a quiet but sure tone. "It's not weird. That's how I've always seen you and I've been watching you with more than brotherly admiration for a few years. There wasn't any time I didn't like what I saw when you took your shirt off." Sam reminisced the long torture of having feelings for his brother that he couldn't act on. He paused to suck and nip lightly on Dean's nipple, as if paying back for him being such a tease without knowing. "I told you I used to stare, didn't I? Sometimes I was sure you caught me, but you never said anything." Sam raised his head to look at Dean, shrugging. "My point is, you're the one that set the standards for what I'm attracted to, that includes hairless guys."

Dean chuckled to himself. When the day had started, Dean had no idea he’d end up having sex with Sam in the middle of the afternoon. Or that it would be so loving like this. It had also been a surprise to learn something about his bother he hadn’t known before, even if it meant he became embarrassed. At that moment, though, Dean couldn’t care less. Sam was being so sweet paying attention to his chest that Dean could only hum and groan every now and again with his brother’s ministrations. Dean blushed and bit his lower lip at Sam’s confession. He knew Sam would look and want him some years ago, but Dean had never thought it would influence what Sam liked or disliked in a guy. It made Dean’s ego inflate a bit, but he was still embarrassed about his lack of body hair to say anything. “I did see you looking a few times, but I… I mean, /I/ used to stare at you a lot. Think about how you were big and all grown up and just big brother’s thoughts, usually, so I guess I never thought much of it when I caught you looking.” Dean said, honestly. True, some of the times Dean had stared he had thought about how attractive Sam was becoming and he had felt aroused by his brother, but Dean had blamed his sex drive and would convince himself that he was just stating facts, so it surely had nothing to do with him wanting to bang his brother. Well, he already accepted that he had been wrong then and he was thankful Sam was honest to himself – which was the complete opposite of Dean’s tendency of lying to himself. “Are you sure you were staring hard enough, though? You did think I waxed my chest, after all.” Dean teased, running his fingers through Sam’s hair, smirking at him.

Sam was tempted to keep talking and make Dean blush more, always feeling smug when he was the one to put some color on freckled cheeks. However, Dean's confession to also staring at him as they grew up caught him off-guard. Sam smiled shyly, knowing that even though his brother hadn't labeled his attention as sexually charged before, they still ended up together. He was sure that the thought must have crossed Dean's mind but he would never admit it to himself, wrong and dirty as it was. "Well, in a way it wasn't anything new. I used to watch when I was young because I wanted to be like you, it just turned from brother worship to something else." Sam said matter-of-factly. He wasn't embarrassed of the years spent looking up to his brother. He ended up different in many ways, fighting hard to have a mind of his own in a family where following orders was more important than having opinion, but Dean was still his reference, his compass. Sam couldn't hide that it had an effect on him. "Maybe I wasn't. I couldn't stare hard enough or you'd notice other things that were hard." He grinned and rolled his hips down, making a point of what he meant. "I'm serious, though. You can't forget that I didn't know you'd want it too, I thought I could never tell you, so most of the time I had to pretend that I didn't have any dirty ideas while you walked around shirtless." Sam lowered his head again, circling his tongue around Dean's nipple. "But now we can use all those dirty ideas that we both love." His smirk was hungry, predatory. Holding his brother's hips, Sam slid his tongue down until he got to Dean's cock and then wrapped his lips around the head.

Dean knew all of that. When they had been younger, Dean would feel like a superhero around Sam. Well, not as much as he thought John was, but Sam made it so clear that Dean was on top of a pedestal, and Dean had always done everything he could to make Sam proud of him that it wasn’t a surprise that Sam looked at him. Actually, these times Sam was saying that he was actually wanting Dean, he had thought it was just more worship. He was still the big brother and he wanted to be someone Sam could be proud of, someone he could look up to. Dean knew he wasn’t perfect, but sometimes Sam looked at him like he was, and that was enough to convince Dean for a while that maybe he wasn’t all that bad. Dean was about to laugh at Sam’s comment when Sam thrust his hips against Dean’s and his laughter became a choked out moan. “You should tell me all your dirty ideas so we can make them become true.” Dean said before moaning when Sammy’s tongue started working around his nipple. He licked his lips when Sam started licking a trail down on his body until he had Sam’s mouth on the head of his cock and Dean had to force himself not to jerk up for more, so he just tense his whole body, relaxing it a few seconds later when he was sure he wouldn’t start thrusting into his brother’s mouth. Sam had been able to deepthroat him the other time he blew Dean, but it had been a while and Dean didn’t want to overwhelm Sam by making him take everything so soon. “God, Sammy.” Dean murmured, one hand fisting Sam’s hair while with the other he ran his finger through Sam’s locks. He noticed it was getting to big and he realized it was quite endearing to see Sam with such big hair. But he knew he was probably going to tease Sam for it later. Now, however, he’d just focus on Sam’s mouth on his body.

Sam sighed contently, agreeing that it would be nice to turn his dirty ideas into facts. He was learning a lot about sex with Dean and he knew he was better now than when he first made the list of kinks, so it was no wonder that he could get creative. Having Dean's body sprawled on the bed, for him to take, was enough incentive to work up his appetite. However, Sam didn't voice out any of his ideas just yet, mouth busy with his brother's cock. He felt the tension in Dean's muscles where he was gripping and he flicked his tongue to help him relax again. After all, that's what this was supposed to do. He realized he didn't give head as often as he received it; he should definitely change that. Sam sucked lightly, focusing on the tip as his hand stroked the rest of Dean's length. He hummed, both at the taste and the feel of his brother's hands tangling in his hair, just how he liked it. "I have an idea." Sam said at last, sitting back on his haunches but still stroking Dean. "But you won't be able to see it." His smile turned mischievous and he got up to take something from their closet. He came back with a tie in his hands and also brought the lube to the bed so he'd have it close later. He sat behind Dean's head, showing him the tie. "It felt good when I used this one, I hope you enjoy it too." Sam waited to make sure that his brother approved of it. For what he intended to do, it would be better if Dean couldn't see his movements. Well, not unless he decided to show him later.

Dean was more than willing to make Sam’s dreams – daydreams, desires, wants, kinks, you name it – come true, that was why they had made the list in the first place, but maybe there was something Sam wanted that he hadn’t told Dean? He actually doubted that, but one could never be so sure. Dean hadn’t mentioned a few things – like being double penetrated – because he had thought it would be impossible for them to do it and after telling Sam, they managed to do so. Dean was thinking of a thousand possibilities of what they could do that day, what Sam would want, but his thoughts were interrupted all the time but how good Sam’s mouth felt on him and Dean gave up trying to think. If they ended up just blowing each other off or having vanilla sex, Dean knew he’d love it anyway, so there was no need to /think/ when he had such a wonderful mouth working on him. But then the mouth was gone and Dean whined as his hands fell to his side. He didn’t have time to complain, though, because Sam had an idea and Dean perked up at that. He remained there, watching Sam as he stood up and went to their closet – and Dean even considered standing up, but since the idea was Sam’s, Dean thought it would be better to wait. When Sam sat by his head with the tie, Dean nodded, agreeing to being blindfolded. He had never had his eyes blindfolded during sex, not even with Sam, so it would be interesting to experience that. “Aren’t you going to tell me what you’re going to do, though?” Dean said, trying to hide how excited and aroused this idea made him. Not being able to see was like submitting again to Sam. Without his eyesight, he could only rely on Sam and on what he wanted to do to him, and Dean was more than ready to try something like that. He hadn’t thought he’d be so exhilarated by it, but his cock was throbbing from how turned on he felt.

Sam was amused by Dean's reactions whenever he slowed down or stopped touching him. He did the same thing when it was him on the other end, but he understood the appeal of being the one doing it. He could take the most delicious sounds out of Dean with just his hands and his mouth. This time Sam also wanted to see the effect it would have when he deprived his brother's sight. He motioned to wrap the tie over Dean's eyes as soon as he agreed to it. "I'm going to blow you. And later I'll show you what you couldn't see." It was still mysterious, but that was the point. Sam tied the knot and made sure that the tie was secure before reaching out to the bedside table to take his cellphone. He took it with him as he went back to lie down between Dean's legs. He still hadn't had the opportunity to take pictures during sex and this seemed like the best time to do it, what with Dean being self-conscious about his body. Sam could show how Dean looked through /his/ eyes. First he needed to give pleasure, make his brother relax enough to be caught openly by the camera. But he didn't resume from where he'd left off, taking advantage of Dean's temporary blindness to touch him feather lightly. His hands roamed over Dean's chest, waist and thighs without much of an order to predict the next movement. Equally without warning, Sam took his brother's dick into his mouth with one quick motion, not going too far because he still needed a bit longer to deepthroat. The intention was obvious, though. He pressed his tongue flat and then circled it around Dean's cock, sucking lightly from time to time. Sam didn't stop moving his hands, focusing on his brother's hips and sides as he tried to balance himself and take him in deeper. He felt it when Dean hit the back of his throat and for that he proceeded slowly, not letting it trigger his gag reflex.

Dean had the tie over his eyes when Sam spoke and he couldn’t help but frown. What could Sam possibly mean by that? He’d be blindfolded, of course he wouldn’t see. But he wouldn’t see anything Sam had in mind, maybe only the result of whatever they would do, that for now, Sam only said that he would suck him. Dean wanted to ask Sam for them to sixty-nine, but he was under Sam’s control at that moment, so instead of saying anything, Dean just waited. Sam was taking too long to do anything and when his hands were finally on him, Dean could only gasp and writhe a bit, moving his body accordingly to where he could feel the touches. Dean wanted to touch Sam as well, but he didn’t know how far his brother was just from where he could feel his hands. He moaned loudly when Sam’s mouth returned to his cock, though. His hands quickly made their way to Sam’s hair, holding onto Sam like a vice, not wanting to let go. But he didn’t move Sam’s head or thrust his hips up. What he did do was whimper, gasp and moan as Sam blew him. It was a shame that Dean couldn’t look, after all it wasn’t always that Sam gave him head and Dean wanted to watch, wanted to see how beautiful Sam looked down on him, wanted to praise him… That was the moment Dean realized he /could/ praise Sam. Sam hadn’t said anything about dominating him and he wasn’t gagged, so he was free to use his own mouth the way he wanted – and as they both knew it very well, when Dean wasn’t using his mouth over Sam’s body, Dean was speaking. “God, Sammy.” Dean moaned, hands twisting slightly over Sam’s hair. “You’re getting so good in it, baby brother. Your mouth is wonderful. So warm and wet, and your fucking /tongue/.” Dean heard a high pitched sound echo around the room and a heartbeat later he realized it had been him who had moaned that high due to the head of his cock touching the back of Sam’s throat. “I love you, Sammy. I love your mouth. I love how much of a quick learner you are. God, you’re so smart. So quick in learning things. My little nerd of a brother.” And Dean didn’t know if he was praising Sam for his cock sucking skills or grades, but he thought that even if he meant /everything/, it would all be true.

Sam wasn't sure if he would get away with his vague response, but then Dean was easily distracted by his ministrations. He wouldn't do anything they hadn't previously discussed and it was good to know that his brother trusted him on that without questioning. Part of it had to be because Dean liked to submit, that much was already established, but it wouldn't work out so well with another person, someone they didn't know. Sam cherished their relationship and the shifting power dynamics between them. He was suddenly thankful for his hair being longer now, as he felt Dean's hands holding onto him. It didn't even need to include pulling and pushing to turn him on, just the thought that Dean could move him if he wanted to was enough. Not that it was like that this time, as Sam was in control. That's why he got surprised when his brother started praising him. He was used to dirty talk, but he didn't understand how Dean could be blindfolded, therefore submissive, and still sound like he was the one with more power there. Maybe he did have it, after all. Sam nearly preened at the thought of doing it the way Dean liked, learning it from him. He had always been proud of his smarts, but it was only hearing it from Dean's mouth that he felt fully appreciated. He knew that was the moment he wanted to capture in a photo, with his brother giving himself over to the pleasure but never forgetting to make him feel good. Sam bobbed his head to pull back a little, needing to focus on the screen of his phone. He held it as firmly as he could and snapped the picture while swirling his tongue around the head of Dean's cock.

Dean was lost into the blowjob. Without being able to see, he felt a little at edge, as if something was holding him back, but at the same time it felt like all the sensations were enhanced by having one sense out of the game. “Sammy.” He gasped again, biting his lower lip a bit desperately. He wanted to come and he wanted to keep dirty talking his brother, but it seemed like things weren’t working right for him. And even though Sam was paying a lot of attention at the head of his cock, Dean needed more. “C’mon, Sammy, more.” He didn’t need to be deepthroated to get off, but if Sam moved more or touched the rest of his body or just jerked him off as he blew him, it would be enough to trip him to an orgasm. He tried pushing Sam’s head down slightly, not forcing him to take much of his cock, but showing him exactly what he meant, exactly what he wanted. Dean wanted the tie gone from his eyes, he wanted to look at Sam and get off on that – now, being unable to see his brother made Dean feel a bit desperate in a whole different way. Not that it would prevent an orgasm, but he thought maybe it would take a bit longer. If he was blindfolded but Sam was talking to him or kissing him or having his body pressed close to his in a way that Dean could feel his heart or something, it would probably have already triggered Dean’s orgasm. But Sam was too far, between his legs, working his mouth on his cock and only his hands touching him and it felt agonizingly good. It was a mash of feelings and Dean wasn’t certain he liked it. “Sammy, c’mere.” Dean begged, tugging Sam’s hair up so his cock would slip free from his mouth, and then he tried to drag Sam up as much as he could on top of him, and once Sam was right there on top of him, all of his limbs wrapped themselves around Sam’s body and he tugged his head on Sam’s neck and smelled it, calming himself down. “Can it be like this?” He didn’t want to take the tie out of his eyes, exactly, but he needed more, he needed the reassurance that it was Sam who was there with him. He knew it was a ridiculous fear, seeing that it couldn’t be anyone else there, but still, Dean felt as if there was something crawling under his skin and he needed Sam close.

Sam thought that the photo looked perfect. It showed mostly Dean from the waist up, but a bit of his mop of brown hair showed up too and it was obvious what he was doing. It didn't show his face so he thought it was alright, besides Dean looked breath-taking, lips parted in a gasp, his body writhing with the need for more. Sam almost lost himself in it but he soon remembered what he was supposed to do, his brother's pleas echoing in his ears. He sucked Dean harder to make for it and slid his lips down to deepthroat him again. But he didn't get to swallow around Dean's cock, as he felt a pull on his hair that was definitely intentional. Sam raised his head and noticed that his brother looked desperate in a whole different way. Worry kicked in and he let himself be pulled up, resting on top of Dean and trying to figure out what was wrong. "Yes, of course." Sam breathed out, his hips thrusting down against Dean's before he could help it. He was still wearing his underwear, but the friction after not having anything to relieve his lust was amazing and he moaned quietly. It didn't lessen his concern for his brother. How come that one minute everything was alright and he was giving pleasure and then suddenly Dean was restless, clinging to him? Well, Sam supposed that if the problem had been his touch, Dean wouldn't have pulled him closer. His eyes fell on the tie and it was the first guess he had. "Do you want it off?" He asked softly, brushing his hand over the tie. He decided he didn't need to wait for an answer and pulled it off Dean's hand without even untying the knot. "Hey." Sam smiled and kissed his brother long and passionate, showing that it was still him. "I'm here, you can touch me." He reached to his hips and pulled the boxers down before taking Dean's hand. He let them wrap their fingers around their cocks together while he went for another kiss.

Dean was glad his brother came to him as quick as he asked him to. He heard Sam’s question and he bit his lip, unsure of what to answer. It wasn’t like it was a turn off, but this irrational fear of not being able to see Sam would make it really difficult for him to come so he sighed in relief when Sam took off the tie. Dean looked desperately into Sam’s eyes, bringing one hand back to Sam’s hair to tug at it and he sighed once more once Sam kissed him. He kissed back as fervently and deeply as he could, giving himself completely to Sam, holding onto him in a way that if anyone tried to dislodge them, they’d need to break Dean’s arms and legs to do so. Dean tried to think why he had reacted that way when moments before he had felt alright, had even dirty talked with his brother, but he couldn’t find a reasonable answer. Maybe it was because being blindfolded required a lot of trust and not being able to see his brother set him off? No, he didn’t think that was the case. He trusted Sam with his life, so he knew it wasn’t because of that. Maybe it was because Dean had always hated when Sam was out of his sight, somewhere he couldn’t help him, save him, take care of him if needed. That seemed slightly more reasonable, but how could this make any sense when they were in bed? They were making love and Dean had an irrational fear of what? Something appearing out of nowhere and killing Sam? It still didn’t make sense, but in the end, the fact was: Dean was feeling so relieved now that he could see Sam that he could only revel into the feeling of being kissed like that. However, Sam tugged one of his hands to their cocks and once he had them in hand, Dean could only moan. He started jerking them off, but Dean was feeling guilty for not being able to follow through with what Sam had wanted. He broke off the kiss to look into his brother’s eyes, loud breaths leaving his mouth as he continued to stroke the both of them. “I’m sorry, Sammy.” He said, tugging Sam’s head to the side so he could bite into Sam’s neck – he was actually hiding in embarrassment, but Sam didn’t need to know that. “D’you wanna continue sucking me off? I can suck you off too.”

Sam had considered stopping everything as soon as he noticed his brother's discomfort, but it would be worse. He knew that Dean reacted better to physical reassurance – and he thought that even if he wanted to pull back, he wouldn't be able to, so tight and desperate was their embrace. Sam focused on the kiss instead, their lips moving together in perfect harmony. Kissing Dean was always an awesome experience, it had the power to turn them on and relax them at the same time. However, a part of him felt incredibly guilty for the occurrence, since he had suggested using the tie as blindfold. And all because of his own wishes. Sam let out a shaky breath as his brother started stroking them, but he could tell that it wasn't enough. "Don't ever apologize for that. I'm sorry for blindfolding you just because I wanted to, I didn't know…" He trailed off in a moan when Dean bit his neck. "You should always tell me when you're uncomfortable." Sam didn't mean to pin it on Dean, he was aware that it was his fault, but he had to make sure it wouldn't happen again. That if anything bothered them in bed they would be able to tell each other. "Yeah, but I want us to be alright. I don't ever want you to feel bad when we're having sex." Sam bit his lip. He felt like he had failed and it was quite the terrible feeling right after his brother had praised him. Perhaps he wasn't so much of a fast learner, or that good in bed. He should have seen it coming, really. How could he take control when he knew nothing of sex? "We could sixty-nine." Sam suggested, keeping in mind that they should be touching as much as possible. He left the decision to Dean and he wouldn't complain if it ended up with them stopping it.

Dean was confused, not understanding how Sam could be blaming himself for what had happened. It was clearly /Dean’s/ fault. He was supposed to enjoy /everything/, even some weird shit, but apparently he didn’t like being blindfolded. At first it had felt like submitting and Dean thought it would go smoothly okay, but somewhere along the way, the longer he got without seeing Sam, he started becoming restless. So it wasn’t Sam’s fault. “Sammy.” Dean said, stopping the movements of his hand to look at his brother and speak to him. “We /are/ okay. And I don’t know why I started feeling like this. I mean, we’ve done crazier things than this. Hell, I blindfolded /you/. So believe me, I’m the problem here and I’m sorry.” He felt embarrassed and now a bit sad that his brother could think that it was, somehow, his fault. “/I/ didn’t know I didn’t like it, how on Earth could /you/ know? Just… It’s better if we don’t try this again. But everything else, anything, we’ll do it. We’ll try everything we haven’t yet, even if we find out we don’t like it. What we already did, we know it worked and we’ll keep doing it. Okay? It’s only one thing and I’m so sorry I couldn’t give it to you.” Dean stopped stroking them to run his hands over Sam’s back. “I mean, it’s not like I hated it. I’m still hard and I want to come just as desperately as five minutes ago, but… Like you said, it just made me uncomfortable. And when I noticed it, I told you. I didn’t force myself or anything, okay?” Dean needed to reassure Sam because he knew it would be the only way for them to get closer physically, which was what Dean needed. “Just make love to me, okay? Anything you want. You were supposed to call the shots here and I really want you to do that.” Dean smiled and he tried to convey both his smugness and his trust into a single smile. “Can I only ask to be able to look at you? You can fuck me. Or ride me. Or we could just jerk off like this.” Dean said, finally relaxing enough to let his legs fall to the bed slowly, his arm becoming way more malleable, his hand that still held both cocks finally moving again.

Sam couldn't avoid feeling a bit lost and unsure. He searched Dean's eyes for reassurance, which was stupid because that should be his job. He didn't freak out over being blindfolded. He watched his brother closely during his explanation, looking for any signs that things /weren't/ okay. It seemed like it was only a fright that had already passed. "I liked it when I was blindfolded." Sam whispered, blushing slightly. "That's why I thought you'd like it too, but it's totally alright that you don't. Don't apologize for that, there's a lot more we can do. Things we've tried and things we can still try. I'm glad to hear you didn't try to force yourself into this because of me. I'd hate that." He kissed Dean again, this time quick and light. They were okay, after all. "But perhaps we should start being more careful, sometimes I think we jump too fast into things we might like and don't consider the consequences." Sam pondered. It wasn't a problem when they shared every kinky and it worked out fine, but one minor setback called for reconsidering their eagerness in bed. They could work on that later. For now Dean was asking him to make love to him and it was a wonderful idea, even better than going for a sixty-nine. Sam should have known that his brother would want to keep looking into his eyes. "Hmm, yes, we can do it facing each other." He smiled, but then his lips parted to let out a moan. As Dean untangled his legs from around his hips, Sam managed to lean to the side and get the bottle of lube he'd brought to the bed. "You gotta stop doing that if you want me to fuck you, though." He said playfully, pulling Dean's hand away. Pouring lube on his fingers, Sam shifted to put some space between their hips. He pressed a finger against Dean's hole, rubbing around the ring of muscle before he pushed inside. "Why don't you help me? We can use both our fingers." Sam suggested as he moved his fingers slowly, just to try something different. Part of it was also because he was turning to his brother's experience for guidance.

Dean knew his brother had liked it and maybe because of that Dean had thought that he would enjoy it too. Well, he still couldn’t find any sense in why he hadn’t enjoyed it, so in all honesty, he couldn’t even have guessed before it happened. Dean was still somewhat upset about it, though. He didn’t like to feel like he couldn’t do something in bed, which wasn’t much like him. True, he wouldn’t have done this with just anyone, but apparently something had set him off with his brother as well – but not because of something Sam had done. Dean was sure that while he had no idea why he hadn’t enjoyed it as he wished he had, he knew it probably had something to do with his overprotectiveness over his brother. And he couldn’t tell Sam that, otherwise Sammy would start his lectures about independency and stuff, but it wasn’t like it was something Dena had power of it. He was raised to be like that – partly by John, but mostly by himself, he had always made it his duty to take care of Sam – and it wouldn’t change so soon. Dean even doubted it would change at all. “We’ll talk about that later, okay?” Dean asked lovingly. “Let’s just make love now.” Dean whispered. And that day was being one embarrassment after another for Dean, but he’d at least have sex with Sam and then they’d have dinner together so hopefully things would brighten up. He stopped moving his hand with a chuckle when Sam commented about him stopping, but then a moment later Sam was batting his hand to the side and Dean just let him. He licked his lips as he spread his legs further apart and he started at Sam, gasping at the first touch against his hole. When Sam was finally inside, Dean moaned, but again, his eyes were still locked with Sam’s. When Sam suggested for him to help, Dean smiled and nodded, fumbling with the lube, adding some to his fingers before he smirked mischievously at Sam and, reaching around Sam, he ran his fingers between Sam’s cleft, teasing a fingertip over his brother’s hole before pushing it inside as much as he could. “Why don’t you fuck me with the vibrator working in your ass?” Dean suggested. It would be something different for them to do, but they knew it was something safe to do. “Do it for me now and I promise after I clean the house and we eat, I’ll do something really nice for you.”

Sam nodded slowly. He didn’t think there was much to talk about, as Dean himself didn't seem to know why he freaked out, but they would inevitably discuss it later. At least they didn't have to stop right away. Sam smiled widely when his brother said that they should just make love. Yeah, he could work with that, seeking pleasure and reassurance with their bodies tangled together. Dean's green eyes were intense on him and he couldn't look away, even though he liked seeing more during sex. Sam slid his finger in and out slowly, just about to push another one next to the first when Dean reached behind him to do the same. He gasped and rolled his hips, the sudden shift making him move his two fingers inside Dean a bit too fast. "Sorry." Sam mumbled with an apologetic smile, resuming the steady pace. At his brother's suggestion, he shuddered and groaned. "Fucking you while I use a vibrator /is/ already something nice, but if you wanna continue spoiling me I won't complain at all." He grinned. Curving his fingers, Sam kissed Dean feverishly. He was once again eager to keep going, almost forgetting that things hadn't turned out according to plan. After all, they had a better plan now. But to put it in practice, Sam had to move away and he did so reluctantly. He pulled his fingers out and gently tapped Dean's arm to make him pull back as well. "Prepare yourself for me, okay?" He whispered in his brother's ear. Sliding out of bed, Sam went to pick up the box where they kept their toys. He took the vibrator but left the box by the bed in case they would want something else later. He knelt down between Dean's legs, leaving him some space to move his hand. Sam squeezed more lube onto his hand and then started fingering himself, the first one slid in easily after Dean had started it. He moaned when he added another finger, working them in and out steadily. "Tell me when you're ready."

Dean gasped loudly, his eyes closing tight when Sam’s fingers moved in too fast. It didn’t hurt, and even though it was too much too soon, it also made Dean incredibly aroused. So Dean slowly opened his eyes and licked his lips, determined to continue what they were doing – which wasn’t all that difficult, since it was clear Sam had enjoy his proposition. He smirked at the reaction he got from Sammy and beamed when Sam kissed him deeply as he moved his fingers inside. Dean moaned into the kiss and worked his own finger inside his brother, and while they had done it before, Dean couldn’t help but think this was totally hot. Unfortunately, Sam was pulling away and it didn’t matter that Dean knew exactly why Sam was pulling away, it still made him groan in displeasure to have to stop touching his brother and have Sam off of him. Sammy, however, asked so seductively for him to prep himself that Dean did exactly that. Putting the same finger he had inside Sam inside of himself made Dean moan loudly. It shouldn’t be all that arousing, but it still somehow was. One finger quickly became two as Sam returned to the bed and as soon as Sam added another finger in himself, Dean added a third, moaning loudly all the time. From his position, seeing Sam fingering himself while Dean was also fingering himself made something bubble up inside him and the next moment he was giggling, so hard and so turned on and so damn /giddy/ that he couldn’t hold it back. “Fuck, I love you so much, Sammy.” Dean commented, letting his eyes run over Sam’s body, noticing how his hand disappeared so he could finger himself and honestly, Dean would put a fourth finger if he didn’t want Sam’s cock so badly. “I’m ready, little brother.” He said, taking his fingers out of himself and feeling his hole clenching at nothing, yearning to get Sam’s dick inside him. “Fuck me, Sammy. Hard, okay? But I want you to kiss me and look at me, you hear me?” Dean asked although it sounded too much like he was begging. It wasn’t his intention, he just wanted to have some rough sex while being romantic – they did it all the time, it wasn’t like it was any hardship for them.

Sam had a perfect view of Dean fingering himself and he realized he could take satisfaction from just watching it. Maybe another time, they had other plans that fit better. He moved his own fingers easily, already having some practice to know when to speed up or scissor his fingers. He was groaning unabashedly, getting lost in the sensations, and then suddenly he heard Dean giggling. Sam raised an eyebrow but an amused smile came to his lips. "Love you too." He said contently, his free hand sliding over his brother's thigh so they never stopped touching. Sam had just slid in a third finger when Dean stated that he was ready and his moan sounded much louder than he'd intended it to be. God, he was so turned on. He reached out to rest his hand beside Dean's head and gave him a bruising kiss while his own hand worked faster inside him. "Of course I will, best way to fuck." Sam replied, voice so low it was closer to a growl. He finally pulled his fingers out with a quiet whimper and used that hand to stroke his cock. He lined up with Dean's hole, distracting him with a kiss as he pushed in. Sam began slow, but finished with a long thrust until he was all the way inside his brother. He felt confident again to take control, stopping just to enjoy the tight warmth around his dick. "Hmm, made for me." He whispered with a light bite to Dean's jaw. Gripping Dean's thigh, Sam rolled his hips roughly, pulling out enough to put some force to the thrust. He could keep doing that, but they had a little detail in mind that hadn't come into play. "Put it inside me, big brother." Sam purred, handing him the vibrator. "Should we set it high or low? Do you think you'll be able to feel it too?"

Dean was feeling bliss in that moment. Well, he was hard as a rock and his body would tense up because of his arousal, but emotionally, Dean felt bliss. Things with his brother had been wonderful since their last fight and even earlier, when Dean freaked out because of the blindfold, it still felt right to be sharing that moment with Sam, sharing such vulnerability. He had felt embarrassed, sure, but Dean knew that he could let his guards down around Sam when they were having sex. That was probably the reason why Dean had giggled in the first place, so happy he felt for having Sam there with him. So when Sam started leaning forward, Dean raised his head to meet his lips halfway, but then he laid down his head on the pillow once again, wanting to have it all, to feel it all. He smiled when they broke off and he put both feet on the mattress so he could rise his hips in a way that could make Sam’s thrust go smoothly in. He closed his eyes, giving himself to that kiss because he knew that would the moment Sam would go inside his body and when he did, Dean could only moan into the kiss. Sam then started moving and Dean made sure to move as well, trying to fall down into Sam’s rhythm, but then Sam was saying that his body was made for him and Dean completely lost it. He moaned louder, hands coming to run over Sam’s chest and he clenched around his brother, feeling the hard, thick and long flesh warm inside him. It only added for Dean’s blissful state of mind. However, when Sam handed him the vibrator, Dean felt like he could probably pass out from how hot it was. He nodded and fumbled with the lube, adding some to the toy before he reached behind Sam, teasing the tip of the vibrator against his brother hole before slowly slipping it in. He licked his lips as he watched Sam’s reaction as he did so. At the thought that he might feel it, Dean couldn’t stop the shudder that ran all over his body. “Fuck, Sammy. High, it’ll be high.” And he turned the velocity on, but he didn’t even wait for Sam to adjust before he was setting a few velocities higher. It wasn’t at its maximum, but it was still high enough. “Is this good? Is it hitting the right place?” Dean asked, moving the vibrator a bit with his hand, but he knew it would be a bit complicated to keep fucking Sam with the toy if he wanted Sam to fuck him. He bit his lip as he let go of the vibrator and he put one hand on Sam’s waist, the other holding tightly onto Sam’s ass cheek.

Sam wasn't saying those words to purposefully dirty talk, so Dean's reaction surprised him – and he loved it. He lowered his head and let out a grunt as Dean clenched around him. It was just too good and it made him want to thrust harder. With nothing to stop him, that was exactly what he did. Sam held his brother with a hand low on his hip and slammed into him over and over, mouth open as he panted loudly. He only slowed down when Dean started pushing the vibrator inside him, because he didn't want to hurt himself and kill the mood. Sam's eyelids fluttered closed and he let out a breathy moan. He barely had time to register what his brother was saying and the toy vibrated, quickly going up to a higher setting. He whimpered brokenly and fucked Dean harder in response. It was hard to get a rhythm to work on both sides, but then Dean left the vibrator at a perfect angle. "Y-yes." Sam groaned, voice wavering. It felt a little weird to have a toy pressing against his prostate while he fucked Dean. It was like having someone else with them, although they would never do that so they resorted to what they had, as it had been with the double penetration. But aside from that, it was essentially overwhelming. Sam felt pleasure and heat through his whole body and he didn't know where to focus on; he just took it. He didn't even fight to keep control and he would make sure to take his brother down with him. After all, it was too overwhelming and he had to ride out on those intense sensations for as long as he could. He fucked Dean hard and fast, prompted by the vibrations that seemed to make the rest of his body buzz along. Sam didn't spare the kissing and biting and sucking, attacking everywhere from Dean's lips down to his neck. "So fucking good." He moaned, punctuating the last word with a sharp thrust that made it even rougher.

Dean gasped loudly for air as his brother started thrusting harder and Dean tried to keep his eyes open to look at Sam’s eyes, his face, everything. Sam’s pupils were always so dilated during sex, with a hunger in it that Dean wanted to help, but didn’t really want for it to completely disappear. Not to mention his whole facial expression, his mouth, his frowns, even his adam’s apple was impressive during sex and Dean liked to watch it all. Dean would have smiled or demonstrated how smug he felt at the reaction he got from his brother when he let the vibrator just right inside him, but he was too far gone to do anything more complex than moan, groan and pant. Giving himself completely to the lovemaking, one of Dean’s hand went to Sam’s hair, fisting it just to have some leverage. His other hand was still squeezing Sam’s ass cheek, short fingernails digging into Sam’s flesh. “Fuck, Sammy.” Dean moaned as Sam continued fucking him with intent and Dean tried to move his own hips as much as he could, but it felt awkward according with the tempo of Sam’s thrusts. However, it was still better than not moving at all and letting Sam do all the work. Maybe because of that, Dean could only feel the vibrating toy on the hand holding Sam’s butt. He didn’t mind that he couldn’t feel it, though, because it was overwhelming as it was already. It didn’t matter that they only started a few minutes before, they were already frantic. Okay, maybe Dean could hold off his orgasm for a while longer – and he would, because this all felt so wonderful that he didn’t want to come too soon and spoil the whole thing – but he already felt the desperation and the over sensitivity all over his body that he used to get whenever he was reaching his orgasm. Dean could only moan and hum at Sam’s comment about it being good, because although he wanted to say a litany of praises to Sam, his mind felt way too melted to put words together. What he could say – and he did often enough – was to call his brother. So in the end, when Dean spoke, he’d call Sam’s name or ‘little brother’ or ‘baby brother’ and little praises like ‘so good’ or ‘I love you’ or ‘God, please’, but he couldn’t make proper sentences. With a particular rough thrust, Dean tugged Sam’s hair until he brought Sam’s mouth over his and they could kiss. It was basically just Dean breathing into Sam’s mouth as he licked and bit and sucked Sam’s lips, but it felt incredible anyway.

Sam didn't know how Dean could keep his eyes open to look up at him – he would have already given up and was very close to, if not for the way his gaze was attracted to Dean's. Sam was powerless against it, even though he wanted nothing more than to lose himself into it without paying attention to his surroundings. But when said surroundings included the fog of lust in his brother's eyes and the long, pale column of Dean's neck begging to be marked, Sam didn't have a choice. The vibrator was positioned just right and he moaned loudly every time it hit his prostate harder with the force of his own thrusts. He grabbed Dean's hips fiercely to make sure he was also at the best angle for that, both of them experiencing that pleasure at the same time. Sam was pretty sure it was working, as Dean seemingly forgot to form full sentences and responded only with delicious groans and the occasional soft words of praise and begging. It was rough and dirty and showed how much they loved a nice round of wild sex. They were moving together and Sam couldn't even complain that he wanted to take control, so hot it was to have his brother demanding more with his hips. And he was happy to give it to him. Sam groaned wantonly at having his hair pulled, the sound lost into the messy kiss. If it could actually be called a kiss, because they were mostly clashing to see who abused each other's flesh more than the other. "Love you. God, love your ideas, this is /amazing/." Sam gasped, his nails digging into Dean's skin. It was all going too fast and he could feel the tug towards relief that always preceded his orgasm. He tensed up to stall it for a moment longer, but Dean's tightness around his cock and the constant pressure of the vibrator deep inside him didn't help at all. "Dean, I need to… I can't-" Sam bit down on his brother's jaw, needing to know if he was right behind on the desire to come.

Dean loved how sex was always different, yet always so intense with Sammy. They could have a slow lovemaking and lose it completely or they could be rough and wild and lose it just the same. It was completely different, yet the feeling behind it was the same. And in that moment, they needed it like that, a bit fast, desperate, almost as if they were trying to itch a scratch. They were in a frenzy rhythm, too hard, too out of pace, but every single detail made it perfect. When Dean felt Sam’s mouth on his neck, it was the first time he let himself close his eyes, but that was only because he could smell Sam’s hair and sweat right next to his nose and he felt the reassurance that Sam was that and he could give himself into that pleasure. Not to mention that staring at the ceiling as Sam abused his neck so deliciously, would probably be kind of a turn off. As Sam held his hips to pistol against his prostate as roughly and aggressively as he could, Dean threw his head back in a loud and long moan, his whole body arching off the bed before he settled back down to how Sam wanted him and Dean decided to let this only to Sam, and while he was not moving his body, his hole would still clench viciously around Sam, trying to keep him inside. At Sam’s praise, Dean opened his eyes, desperate to look at the kaleidoscope that was his brother’s eyes. Dean could tell that Sammy was as close as Dean and a moment later Sam confirmed his thought, so Dean just let go. “Sammy, Sammy!” Dean moaned, reaching his orgasm in a heartbeat. He clenched harder around Sam’s cock, almost as if begging it to be flooded with his brother’s come. His eyes fell closed and the fist on Sam’s hair tightened, the other arm pulling Sam by the ass against himself, to lock him there. “Please, Sammy.” Dean begged and it amazed him how he was still high from his orgasm. But he needed Sam to come, he needed to feel it dripping out of him afterward.

Sam held his brother against him, one hand slipping under his body as Dean arched off the bed. He felt it more than saw it as Dean spasmed and gave in to let him do what he wanted. Having a good idea of what they both needed, Sam continued thrusting roughly, grunting at the tight feeling around his dick. He was fighting off his orgasm when their eyes met again and then his brother was calling out his name like a prayer. Dean clenched hard around him, making it impossible to move, but Sam wouldn't keep going anyway. He screamed Dean's name as he came, buried deep inside him and shuddering with the toy vibrating against his sweet spot. It amazed him that Dean's plea echoed in his ears during the high of his orgasm. Sam relaxed, satisfied, and rested on top of his brother with no intention of moving anytime soon. He only turned off the vibrator because it was making him too sensitive and after a moment he pulled it out to leave it on the bed. "Hmm, Dean." He hummed softly, brushing their lips together as he looked at Dean lovingly. They had to be tired after something so rough and frantic, but Sam wasn't paying attention to the exhaustion in his muscles. He could only think of his love for Dean and the need to stay close to him. After his breathing evened out, he finally pulled out and slid to the side. There was something uncomfortable next to his back and he squirmed to take it, seeing that it was his phone. Sam had completely forgotten about the picture and he smiled down at it. Even though his plan had failed, he still got a nice photo of his brother all vulnerable and needy. "This is why I wanted to blindfold you." He whispered, showing Dean the picture. "It didn't quite work out but it looks good, doesn't it?"

Dean sighed blissfully, feeling how his muscles felt relaxed after such an intense orgasm and feeling Sam’s come inside him made him beam. He’d probably giggle again if he wasn’t so out of breath, so for a while he just remained attached to Sam as much as he could, eyes closed, Sam’s breathing loud in his ears. He noticed Sam fumbling with something, but he guessed it was the vibrator as he realised the buzzing noise had stopped. He kissed Sam’s lips as lightly as he got it and then opened his eyes. God, he loved his brother. And in that moment, they were in such a state of bliss, so happy and sated that made Dean want this everyday, for the rest of their lives. And the best part was that they would have exactly that. They still needed to find a lead on the yellow-eyed demon, they needed to find a way to stop the visions, so yeah, maybe life wouldn’t be all that easy, but they would be ready if anything happened. Until then – and even after they solved everything – they would live just like this. The thought warmed Dean’s heart with joy and Dean could only keep his hands on his brother. Unfortunately, Sam slowly got out of him once they were both down from their high and flopped to the side. Dean moved on his side to give more space to his brother. He frowned when Sam moved around a bit uncomfortably and then took his phone from behind him, and he was about to make a joke about where Sam was hiding it when Sam handed him the phone. His eyes widened a bit and he felt himself blushing. He did look alluring. Maybe it was the tie on his eyes, even though it was obvious it was him there. But not being able to look at his own eyes, see the sin staring right at the phone, it felt great. He looked great. “I’m so jerk off material.” Dean commented, wanting to have that picture to himself. There probably wasn’t any issue in jerking off to pictures of himself, right? Well, not that he cared. “Thank you.” He said, pulling Sam for a loving kiss. In the end, Sam had been right. Now Dean wanted more, though. “Next time we can record ourselves.”

Sam against Dean's shoulder as he showed him the photo, glancing at his expression even though he could keep staring at the screen. After the rush to take the blindfold off, he'd worried that the picture would have come out wrong, showing a kind of desperation that wasn't good for sex. But it was clear that he'd managed to take it while Dean was still alright with his position. Sam smiled then at his brother's comment. "I knew it, you want to fuck yourself." He teased playfully. Well, he couldn't blame Dean, that /was/ jerk off material and he was so keeping it for his own alone time. But more than that, Sam was glad that it didn't backfire. He knew that Dean was a bit wary of having sex pictures after what Sebastian did to him, but he wanted to show that it was a matter of who they were with, whom they trusted enough to give up control completely. The result was something beautiful and provoking, meant only for their eyes. Sam hummed into the kiss, caressing his brother's neck with one hand. He was pretty sure his eyes darkened at the suggestion of recording themselves doing it, but then his rational side kicked in. "I'd love to, as long as we're extra careful about it." Just the hint of brown hair that had appeared on that picture worried Sam, he didn't know if he would be comfortable keeping a video that showed their love exactly as it was – hot and sinful. "This is only for us." He whispered, as if that summed up the problem. "But that's something we can think about later. For now I wanted to shower, but I'm also a bit lazy to get up. Wanna cuddle some more? Or are you still going to clean up the room?"

Dean blushed even more at Sam’s accusation, but he couldn’t exactly deny it. “Well, you wanted me to see what you see, so now of course I’d like to fuck myself.” Dean said a bit exasperated, but still embarrassed. Apparently, the day was still an embarrassment after the other. At least they moved on from the chest hair subject. Dean shouldn’t complain about it anyway. It was probable that if Dean had chest hair he’d wax it anyway, because he honestly thought it was what most people liked, men and women alike, so he’d always try to please his partners. Now it was only Sam and he had said he liked the fact that Dean didn’t have chest hair, so he should stop worrying. Easier said than done, but at least he could move on from that subject. When Sam mentioned that they had to be extra careful in case they recorded themselves, Dean just rolled his eyes with a huge sigh. “You say that as if I didn’t already know.” Dean complained. He didn’t like to pass by stupid, and it was how he felt now that Sam had stressed that they should be careful over and over /and over/ again. Dean honestly got it and he did care enough to be as careful as he could. He just wanted the pictures and the future video because they were hot together and it would amazing to actually see them in action. So yeah, it was obvious it was solely for them. “You can’t ask me difficult questions, Sammy.” Dean pursed his lips, keeping a straight face. “I always want to cuddle. But I really need to end up cleaning the dorm.” Saying so, Dean pulled Sam for a last kiss, squeezing his brother against himself. A few moments later, he broke it off and hopped off the bed, taking his underwear and putting it back on. “You can take a shower now or wait until I’m done?” Dean suggested, but he was already taking the broom with him, starting to sweep the floor. “I’ll just finish here and then clean the bathroom real quick. Then we can have dinner. What d’ya say?”

Sam blinked a few times, then smiled widely. The blush on Dean's cheeks never failed to amuse him. "I'm not saying you can't, it's just so… /you/. And yeah, that's how I see you and I always want to fuck you." He kissed the corner of Dean's mouth. "I can't blame you for noticing how hot you are." Sam pinched his brother's side at that, looking at him with amusement. It wavered when Dean sounded a bit sour and he knew he shouldn't have said anything. He couldn't ruin the mood now. "I know you do, but I worry, I can't help it. I really don't want to lose what we have, Dean." Sam said honestly. "Sorry I made it sound like you're not careful enough. I trust you." He reiterated, needing Dean to believe that it didn't have anything to do with a lack of faith in him, but with Sam's own insecurities when he couldn't control everything. He felt better as they tightened their embrace and kissed lovingly, giving him reason to believe they were alright. He thought that was what love was all about; not avoiding arguments, but knowing how to overcome then. "Nah, I'm gonna wait until you can go with me." Sam replied, resting back and simply watching his brother resuming his chore. Once again, he had a glimpse of what life would be like in the future and he loved it. "When you finish with the bathroom, we can shower and then have dinner." He paused, then blushed slightly. He realized he was leaving it all to Dean and that wasn't good for a relationship, was it? "I mean, do you want me to help you? I'm not doing anything. I can help you clean the bathroom."

Dean frowned at Sam’s comment. What did that even mean, it was ‘just so Dean’? Well, Dean was kind of a pervert and his sex drive would last many rounds, but he didn’t think that wanting to fuck himself could fall into the category of ‘things Dean would probably do’. Now that he had thought about it, though, he felt curious. He had used mirrors before during sex, but it would be different to be the one doing something to himself and look the reactions it would do to him. Since he knew his body better than anyone – maybe just slightly less than Sam seemed to know – he could only imagine all the things he could do to himself. It would never happen though, so it would probably be healthier if he stopped thinking about it. “I know, Sam. But /you/ are the one who’s worried about it. I’ve been jerking off to pictures of you in public stalls for weeks now and no one caught me. Of course I won’t carry a video with me, so you need to understand that I will be careful.” He knew why Sam was worried, though, but Dean didn’t care. Even if people around the school found out… Well, they were mostly monsters so who were they to judge? Once they were living among humans again, they would probably go as boyfriends, partners – husbands? – so they wouldn’t need to worry about that anyway. “But don’t ever think, Sammy, that anyone will take this from us. They can’t. We’ll fight everyone who tries.” And by that, he meant even dad. Even if dad found out and threw a fit, Dean would never be able to give up on Sammy, not now when he was so domestic with his brother. It wasn’t only about the sex, but the whole package, and Dean was in love with it all. “No, you’ll probably just get on my way as I do it. Keep talking to me, though.” Dean said with a smile, continuing with his chore. “You came home saying you aced a test. Tell me more about it.”

Sam sighed quietly. Yes, he was worried, he couldn't deny it. But perhaps he didn't have to make such a fuss over that, just enjoy their relationship. He could do that. And he felt more relieved hearing that Dean wouldn't carry the video in his phone – well, he didn't doubt anything. "Okay, then. And I still can't believe you jerk off when you're not here. To pictures of me, nonetheless. But I don't worry about someone seeing it when you have it, I worry about someone stealing your phone, I don't know… it doesn't matter, you're right. We deserve to do the things we like." Sam said the last part with more resolution. His heart warmed up at Dean's confidence and willingness to fight for their relationship. That's all he wanted. "I love you." He sighed, hoping that in those three little words he could say he felt the same way. Sam didn't care what anyone thought, he would fight anyone who said he couldn't love his brother like he did. What did the world know anyway? Love was rare, people preferred to live in hatred. They had known enough of that. John had done many questionable things, but even indirectly he had taught them that love, when it was true and strong, was unstoppable. "That's rude." Sam frowned. If not for the bliss of his orgasm just minutes before, he would have picked up a fight over Dean's implication that he wasn't able to clean a house. Because he so could, he'd make that stupid floor shine. He raised his head at the mention of the test, though, and a smile spread over his lips. "Oh, right. It was for the Public Law class, we had to analyze some cases. And yes, I was the only one who aced it. The teacher said she expects me to actually pursue a career in Law. What they know is that I have a good grasp of law because our family /breaks/ it, but anyway, it's the result that counts."

Dean was being honest about not having the video on his phone, but he’d try to take a few more pictures so he’d have more variety when he wasn’t in their room. Dean arched an eyebrow at Sam’s comment, though, because he had no idea how Sam couldn’t think that it was normal. “Dude, have you never jerked off in a diner or a gas station when we stopped during puberty? God, I have no idea how I survived jerking off so little back then.” Dean shook his head, remembering the time he had to find places to jerk off quickly during trips just to try to calm his hard on, but usually around an hour later he’d feel aroused again, sometimes by nothing at all, so that was the story of how he was used to doing it in public places and had no problem with that. “Exactly. And we will do everything, Sammy.” He smiled warmly at his brother at that, meaning that he wasn’t speaking only of the sex, but also all the plans they had in their lives. At Sam’s love confession, Dean blinked a couple of times before beaming. He leaned to give a peck on the lips before continuing with the sweeping. When Sam mentioned that he was being rude, he just snickered. “Rude? Rude is not offering to clean the whole dorm for months. You probably didn’t even notice it was getting cleaner, right? Did you think the school had a maid or something?” Dean teased, arching an eyebrow as he put the broom aside and took the mop and a bucket. He waited to hear the whole story from Sam, all the time with a smile on his face. By the end of it, he burst out laughing. “Well, you have a point. But they are right, Sammy, you’d make a wonderful lawyer. That’s really what you wanna do, right?” Dean asked, going to the bathroom to fill a bit of the bucket and then coming back so he could mop the floor. Truth be told, Dean was really proud of Sam. He had no idea how to be a lawyer, nor why Sam wanted to be that from all the options out there, but in the end he couldn’t help but agreeing that Sam would do a wonderful job as a lawyer. Not to mention that now that he thought about it, it was really hot to imagine Sam working with it, wearing suits all the time, managing to convince everyone… Dean noticed that thinking about that wouldn’t help with the cleaning of the dorm, so he focused back on Sam, forcing himself not to think about that.

Sam blushed, although he knew there wasn't any reason to be embarrassed when Dean was clearly stating that he'd done worse and didn't have any shame about it. That was an interesting quality about Dean, sweet innocent things usually flustered him more than dirty ones. "I usually jerked off in the shower. Gas stations, sometimes, but it was weird. Never at diners, how could you do that in a diner?" Sam scrunched up his nose. "But anyway, that was when we were on the road. We're not anymore, we have two comfortable beds here." He slid a hand over the mattress, as if beckoning his brother to come back. He didn't provoke much because he knew he would succeed. Instead, Sam grinned at the thought of doing everything they wanted. Even with the concerns about hiding their relationship, they didn't have many limits. From now on, they could make their future and it seemed really bright. "Hey, I'm the one who keeps things organized around here!" Sam protested. He liked his things tidy and in place. For all Dean preached about doing house chores, he was incredibly messy. "And I've cleaned a few times, it's just that often when I think it's time to get around to cleaning it all, you do it first." He shrugged. It wasn't his fault, but he would make sure to clean the room next week to show Dean that he was serious. "Thank you. Yeah, it is." Sam replied and his smile turned dreamy. There was nothing better than his brother's support, that was why he had grown up thinking he could be more than just some hunter. "I still wanna help people, but doing something I like. And well, the money is usually good."

Dean raised both eyebrows, wondering how Sam /hadn’t/ jerked off in a diner. “What’s the problem? You know I need to come a couple of times daily nowadays, so imagine how it was back then. Anywhere that provided me with a little of privacy was a potential jerk off place.” Dean shrugged, not even embarrassed. He could at least admit that he had never done it while being in the same room as his father. A few times he had done so in the same room as Sammy, but he’d always make sure Sam was asleep before doing so. “I know that, but I don’t know. I just feel like doing it and go to the nearest bathroom. I really don’t mind, so that’s probably why I do it.” It wasn’t like Dean did it every day, it was more like every other week, but he still did it. He looked at the bed where Sam was clearly inviting him back and he licked his lips, trying to go back to his cleaning. He managed to regain control, needing to finish with the chores before having sex again, even though he could feel himself already getting half-hard. “Well, that’s because you’re a control freak.” Dean rolled his eyes. Yeah, he’d leave his things mostly messy during the week, but then only organize everything when he weekly cleaned the dorm, but every other day he’d leave clothes on the wrong place, books all around the dorm and when he took Sam’s things, he’d also leave them all around the dorm, not bothering to put it back. He didn’t mind it, though. It worked this way, with Dean doing the cleaning and Sam making sure everything was in its place. “Are you telling me you won’t be a lawyer to those who committed a crime? I mean, I think it’s wonderful you wanna help people without having to hunt, but someday you might have a client who’s actually guilty. Right?” Dean tilted his head to the side, frowning. “I really don’t know how that works.” He murmured to himself, finishing with the mop. He then took the duster to clean the rest of the room. “Sammy, can you change the bed linen? Once I’m done here I’ll clean the bathroom quickly and then we can shower.”

Sam couldn't help but lick his lips. When he was old enough, he started noticing the many times Dean would disappear without much explanation and he'd know why, but he felt embarrassed for following the example. "That's because you never tried to control yourself." Sam was nothing if not controlled and he didn't want to be like every other hormonal teenager. It didn't change the fact that his body still asked for it, but he tried to keep his jerk off sessions to private places, which were difficult to find with their crazy lifestyle. It didn't matter, the struggle was over. He had Dean whenever he wanted and on the rare occasions they couldn't have sex, he had the dorm to himself to take care of that. "But I'm not complaining, your sex drive is the reason I have many awesome orgasms, why would I complain?" Sam grinned. He didn't know whether it was because of his brother or if he'd just started paying more attention to it, but /his/ own sex drive wasn't that far behind. "And you're a… clean freak." He resisted the urge to stick his tongue out like a child. Truth was that he thought his case was worse than Dean's. Sam resorted to keeping things in order when his own mind felt like a mess. He didn't need to take a psychology course to know that it was a coping mechanism but he didn't care. It worked. It was the same push responsible for making him work hard to take control of his own life. Sam was pulled back to reality when Dean asked him a tricky question. He pursed his lips and took a moment to reply. "No, that's a utopian view, I know it doesn't work like that. But I hope to choose my own cases and work with people that deserve a chance, even if they're guilty." He shrugged. It was a risky career even when you entered it with the best intentions. "I also want to do voluntary work sometimes, for those who can't afford a decent lawyer." The thought made Sam a bit more optimistic. He smiled and nodded before getting up to change the bedding.

Dean just laughed to himself. That was true, he had never tried to control himself. He didn’t know why he should, though. When they were just passing by a city to eat of fill the car with gas, no one would ever remember a teenager who stopped to jerk off, and he was only human, he had his urges. Not to mention that in their lives, Dean felt it was unnecessary for them to restrict themselves. That’s why he always gave in to his desires, be it have sex all the time, or eat really greasy food or drink a beer after another. He knew life was too short to give things for granted. Even now when his life spam suddenly widened since he was not on the road hunting monsters anymore, Dean didn’t want to be ashamed of his urges. “You’re one to talk. You’re just as horny as me, baby brother, so don’t blame it all on me.” He said with a laugh, amusement written all over his features. Sam could say all he wanted about his sex drive, but since they started fooling around, Sam would initiate sex just as much as Dean. And that was incredibly hot and awesome in Dean’s point of view. When Sam pointed out he was a ‘clean freak’, Dean just stared at him for a whole minute, passive face, but then he just shrugged, accepting it. “Hell yeah, I am. I fucking hate germs.” Dean confessed. He knew how weird it was for him to feel that way when they would often crash into barely cleaned hotels, take showers in said places, fall into the ground, get all dirty while doing a job, get covered in blood or whatever the monster of the day was made of. It was a dirty job and he had never complained, but whenever he had to use something other people used – public bathrooms, public phones, public anything, honestly – he felt a crawl under his skin. That was one of the reasons why he loved showers so much and why he liked to clean things up now that he had a place to call home – part of it was because he liked the domesticity of it, but it hadn’t been the only reason. Dean heard what Sam had to say about his job and by the end of it he snickered. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first you’d work for free.” He commented. Being a hunter didn’t exactly pay the bills, but what Sam planned to do as a Lawyer was actually very impressive and Dean couldn’t help but feel even more proud of his little brother. Dean made a quick job of the bathroom and when it was finally cleaned up, Dean took off his underwear and went to the door to look at his brother. “Sammy? C’mon, let’s shower so we can eat.”

Sam shrugged, but there was a light smirk on his face. "I gotta agree with you on that." How could he not be horny with Dean around? They were always up to trying out each other's kinks – even when it could go wrong like the blindfold thing for Dean. Point was that their sex life was awesome and Sam wouldn't change a thing. He thought that his brother would complain about being called a 'clean freak', but at the easy acceptance he looked up in surprise. "Well, you're right about that too. Better to have a clean dorm than go back to those sleazy motel rooms." Sam shuddered. He had lived with that for years and it didn't freak him out per se, but he didn't like it either. A clean, neat environment was much more comfortable and he was happy to have it from Dean. He changed the linen on both beds, turning to glare at Dean when he reminded him that they had been working for free all this time. "Yeah, it's the same principle, but I don't have to worry about dangerous monsters." Sam paused, remembering that they still hadn't solved the mystery of his visions and there wasn't anything new on the yellow-eyed demon. Well, that was another story. He was confident that one day he would have a normal life as a respectable lawyer, working voluntarily once a week because he knew how many out there needed someone to help them. Sam waited until his brother called him to the bathroom and then he went after him quickly. "But don't worry, I'm still gonna make enough money for us." He grinned, chest swelling with pride. He doubted that Dean would just let him pay for everything, but as it looked like at the moment, Sam would be the one making more money. And he didn't mind – actually he wanted – to give them financial safety and give back for all the years Dean took care of him.

Dean chuckled to himself. He had no idea if this was yet another thing Dean had influenced Sammy throughout the years, although he didn’t think so, since his brother had been a virgin when they first had sex. But the sex drive, the eagerness to try a little of everything was certainly something they shared, and Dean was grateful for having someone like him by his side. “Exactly, Sammy. So shush and lemme do my job here.” Dean teased, glad that Sam agreed that a clean place to sleep was better than all those years sleeping in dusty beds. It was yet another thing Dean was more than willing to give Sam, a place that truly felt like home. Being domestic was nice, yeah, and certainly important, but for it to feel real, a clean, cosy place to sleep was necessary. Dean wasn’t doing it solely for Sam, though. It was also for himself. He missed to have that and he realized how long it had been since he had had a house. Sam, on the other hand, didn’t even remember having one, so Dean was doing them both a favour by doing all of this. They deserved it, after all. “It’s still very humble and awesome of you to do it.” Dean said with a proud smile on his face. Sam was, most certainly, the nicest person Dean had ever met and he couldn’t be happier about it. Dean rolled his eyes though when Sam joined him in the bathroom, entering the shower and turning it on. “Yeah, yeah, I know, you’ll be rich and I’ll be your housewife, yadda yadda, shut up.” And even though Dean had said it, there was no heat in his words. He knew he would feel way too restless if he had to stay home every day and don’t work somewhere, but he also knew he probably wouldn’t earn as much money as Sam. He was slowly accepting it, as each day went by and he fell even more into the category of the ‘housewife’ as he so called it and he enjoyed it way too much – he wouldn’t exactly admit it out loud, but he guessed Sam already knew anyway.

Sam smiled and fell silent, not trying to distract Dean from his chores. More than having someone willing to clean the dorm, he also took some pleasure from the fact that Dean was doing it all in only his underwear. Practical and beautiful, who wouldn't love that? Sam understood why he found the dorm like that after coming from class – his brother cleaned it up while he was away to avoid distractions. It was a smart move, because he could definitely come up with a few distractions for them. "Thank you. I aspire to be humble and awesome at all times." In spite of the playful tone, Sam's smile was honest. He still looked for Dean's approval, although he intended to volunteer because people needed it, not to make himself look nice. He walked into the shower and wrapped an arm around Dean as they got under the spray of water. "I know you're not complaining." Sam pointed out, kissing his brother's neck. "You make a good housewife, as you put it. I'll never think less of you because you like cleaning the house or you don't make as much money. I just want you beside me. And you know how it is to have a home, I trust you to ensure we can call our place that." What was meant to be teasing became a love confession. It was true, Dean knew what he was doing and he seemed to enjoy it. Sam would only be able to feel he was truly at home if he had that. "You'll be my husband. /Househusband/, if you prefer, but you're still my big brother. And I'll always enjoy being domestic with you and having sex at random times of the day just because we can and I think you look hot when you're so focused on giving me a home."

Dean laughed at Sam’s words. He knew his brother was actually being sincere about that, even though he was being funny. Sam tried to be friendly and compassionate with everyone he met – monsters as well – so it was only obvious that Sam would want to do voluntary work. It didn’t surprise Dean that his brother wanted to do so and that was one of Sam’s many qualities. When Sam mentioned he knew Dean wasn’t complaining, Dean pouted slightly and he was about to tell Sam to shut up once more when his brother kissed his neck and kept talking. Dean closed his eyes, arms going around Sam’s form and he felt himself blush – although he could always blame that it was a result of the hot water. Dean didn’t think there was anything shameful in being a housewife either. His mom had been one and she had been the best person Dean had ever met, so he was actually kind of proud of liking it so much. It had never occurred to him that he was probably projecting what he had loved about his mom into his way of living – like the way he had always protected Sammy, had done /everything/ for him his whole life and now that they had a place to call home, he liked doing the house chores, liked cooking, liked to be the responsible for their home. Dean squeezed Sam closer, hiding his face in Sam’s neck, but he wasn’t doing anything, just hugging his brother. By the end of everything he had said, Dean was speechless and blushing from head to toe, he was sure. He hadn’t expected such a love confession and Dean didn’t know how to deal with it. So he did the only thing he knew what to do: convey everything into a lame joke. “I aspire to be hot at all times.” He repeated Sam’s words from earlier, but what he meant was that he would do it all to Sam. He was going to make sure their home was always cosy and welcoming and clean and perfect and they’d be domestic and hot and loving together and Dean felt a happiness he had never felt before.

Sam couldn't see Dean's face, but he felt his increasing hearbeat and the warmth of his embrace. As he talked, he knew that Dean was getting embarrassed and it didn't take long for the blush to reach his neck. Sam didn't comment on that, but it was adorable. Even with the joke, it was obvious that his brother understood the meaning of everything he'd said. It was just Dean's way of dealing with feelings, nothing new. It didn't bother Sam as much as it used to, since he could tell whenever his words had the desired effect. He chuckled lightly, holding Dean for a moment longer to show that he was serious. "You already are." Sam said at last, winking at him. He stepped back to grab the soap and start cleaning them up, taking more time to scrub over the drying come on their skin. The feeling of familiarity and domesticity was what made it amazing. Although Dean did look appealing and his skin was soft to touch, Sam wasn't thinking about sex. He focused more on his own body after washing up his brother, their conversation resumed to glances and touches. He only spoke again when he was done and reached for the towel. "Now we can have dinner. I want to see what delicious food you prepared this time." He kissed Dean quickly and turned around to exit the bathroom while drying off. Since they would stay inside, Sam put on his boxers and didn't bother to dress up more. He knew how their night would end, if Dean lived up to the promise of doing something 'really nice' for him later. He couldn't guess exactly what it was but he was sure he'd love it. To be fair with sharing chores, even though he guessed it was a bit late for that, Sam was the one to set the table.

Dean was glad that Sam didn’t comment on his silence or on how he probably knew Dean was feeling embarrassed, and for that he was really grateful. He just smiled at Sam’s words and then let Sam clean them, but he didn’t stop touching Sam in any moment, always so enthralled by Sam’s body too keep without touching his brother. When they were done with the shower, Dean took his own towel and got out of the bathroom to get clean boxers. “Oh, you’ll love it.” Dean perked up at that, going to heat their food just to make sure it would be perfect. “I prepared chicken wings, mashed potatoes, gravy, cobb salad and beans. And for dessert, apple pie.” Dean smirked, checking the food and once he deemed them good, he turned the fire off. He then turned to get their plates from the table and put a bit of everything in each plate and then he set the plate in front of Sam. He then went to the fridge, taking two sodas from it and putting one in front of Sam. “So? Did you like it?” Dean said as he sat down. He was anxious because it was the first time he tried doing chicken wings and he had no idea if these things combined even made sense, but it was what he felt like eating, so it was the result. He decided to try it himself and he was surprise by how great it felt. Nothing compared to homemade food, and Dean was particularly good on it. Yeah, he was going to make a great ‘househusband’ for Sam and that filled him with pride. “Eat everything.” Dean said as an afterthought, after all, he wouldn’t be happy without being the annoying big brother that order his little brother to eat every bean in his plate and don’t leave anything behind.

Sam raised an eyebrow, curious as what Dean had prepared. He stopped by the table to look over and then Dean was describing their meal. "Oh, those are nice. And if you got to prepare it with the usual care, I'm sure it's great." Sam smiled, sitting by the table to wait for the food. He picked up the knife and fork as soon as his brother set the plate in front of him, but he was just finishing the first bite when Dean promptly questioned him. He chuckled and swallowed it, trying out another bite just to take some more time. Finally, Sam hummed and nodded. "It's perfect. The chicken wings are delicious, you should do it more often then get take out. And I appreciate that you're always going for new kinds of salad for me." He complimented with a wide smile. Dean's attention to keep a cozy place for them with clean rooms and nice food was admirable. Sam couldn't think of a better partner to make him happy, that included all the brotherly and non-brotherly aspects of their relationship. As if on cue, Dean was bugging him to eat everything and he rolled his eyes, but intended on doing it anyway. Especially with such a delicious meal. "What do I get if I eat everything?" Sam asked instead, light smirk playing on his lips. He shouldn't be demanding more when his brother was already giving him everything, but he couldn't stop himself from playing that little game. "In fact, didn't you say you'd do something really nice for me if we had sex the way you'd suggested?"

Dean blushed at Sam’s words, but he had a small smile on his face. After hearing this type of compliment from Sam everyday for a couple of months, Dean was impressed how every time he still got too giddy, too red on the cheeks. He should be dealing with it better, right? Except that he grew up with harsh words and when there was a compliment, it was limited and it was /never/ to Dean’s capacity to cook a meal or keep a house clean. No, it wasn’t completely true. Sam would often praise Dean, too wide eyed and eager, but Dean had always dismissed because he had always thought it was only because Sam had been a kid and it was obvious he’d have an adoration towards his big brother and think that everything he did was cool. It was technically his job as the little brother to do it. However, it was something that happened still today, and now that Dean had his walls down with Sam, more of these praises and compliments came his way and Dean didn’t know how to react to that, so he was just happy and a bit embarrassed. “Well, we haven’t gotten take out for a while now, not even pizza, so… I’ll keep doing it.” Dean said simply, promising to keep on doing homemade food, even if they were things that they could easy just call and have delivered to them. Dean didn’t mind though. He loved how much Sam seemed to enjoy his food and it only gave Dean more reason to cook new things. When Sam’s voice drooped a little, Dean almost choke on his chicken wing, but he wasn’t expecting dirty talk during dinner. “Why, baby brother, I never said it would be something /sexual/ that I’d do for you.” Dean said in a very serious voice, but a moment later he was chuckling, continuing to eat. “If I didn’t tell you what it was, didn’t you get it that it would be a surprise?” Dean arched an eyebrow while he had a smirk on his face. He didn’t want to rush, so there was no need to eat quickly – and that was yet another thing that had changed. Before Dean would just shove all the food into his mouth and finish it quickly, but now that they weren’t living in a rush, he could appreciate food a lot more. “I promise I didn’t forget my part of the bargain.” Dean commented, looking at his plate, but still with a smirk on his face.

Sam appreciated the blush on Dean's cheeks for a moment, glad that he was the one putting it there. When he was younger, he thought that Dean was all cool and collected, never embarrassed, and it was really fun to see it wasn't quite like that. Sam looked up when his brother mentioned they hadn't been ordering take out. He hadn't even noticed, but as he stopped to think about it he realized it had been a while indeed. He wasn't going to complain, Dean's food was better, although he could never say no to pizza. "Yes, keep doing it. But every now and then we can get something, maybe when you're too tired to cook." Sam shrugged. He didn't want Dean to think he was obliged to cook and clean all the time – although he could tell it was something his brother enjoyed doing. He blinked a few times at Dean's reaction to his words. Yes, Sam's intention was clear, but he didn't want to startle anyone with that. "Ah, but that's not fun, then." He pouted, failing to see that could say he wasn't thinking of anything sexual either. As it was, he gave himself away and he couldn't go back. He pouted harder as Dean stated it was a surprise. Sam wouldn't get anything asking, he would have to wait and see. He didn't want to wait, but to make it bearable he continued eating his food, focusing on the good taste. "Okay, I'm trusting you. Even though you refuse to tell me what's going on in your cunning mind." Sam chuckled. Once he finished his plate, he looked up at Dean again. "So I ate everything. Do I get the dessert now?"

Dean hummed in agreement, but in all honesty he was considering making a pizza someday, preparing the whole thing, the dough, the sauce, adding the ingredients at their tastes. He wondered if Sam would like that, but he would rather make it a surprise. If it ended up badly, they could always order a pizza. “Sammy, I’ve lived for years sleeping only five hours a night and not being tired. You really think I’d stop cooking you real food? If someday you want to order in, just tell me and I won’t worry about cooking, but it’s no issue at all.” Dean reassure his baby brother, and he was completely honest. When Sam pouted, Dean started laughing and he even threw his head back for a moment, but then looked back at his brother. It was amusing how easy he could still tease his little brother. He noticed that Sam was curious, but he didn’t rush, eating calmly. Yet, he finished almost at the same time as Sammy. He stood up to get the pie, smelling it, sighing in happiness and cutting two pieces. “We get dessert now.” Dean chuckled, sitting again. He wanted to add that he had never done anything in bed that Sam hadn’t enjoyed, but if it had happened to Dean, who were to say that the same wouldn’t happen to Sam someday? So instead of dragging the subject, Dean took a bite of his pie and at the taste of it, he stopped, eyes widening. “Oh my God.” Dean said slowly, staring at his pie as if it held all the answers of the world. “It’s amazing. Tastes exactly like mom’s.” Dean mentioned, attacking the pie a second later. He loved pie, obviously, his mother had known that all too well and to Dean, her pie had always been the best one he had ever eaten. All pies were great, but none had been as good as Mary’s, and now Dean had baked a pie and it tasted just like the ones Mary used to do. Something warmed Dean’s heart, but at the same time he was suddenly overwhelmed by nostalgia and of how much he missed his mom.

Sam shrugged, not knowing what to say. They were used to sleeping less and still being able to fight, but his comment didn't have anything to do with physical condition. He thought that house chores were boring, even though it was good to /have/ a place of their own. "Alright, but if you ever complain you're doing too much, I'm gonna bring up this conversation." Sam teased. "I'll let you know if I ever want to order in, don't worry." He smiled at Dean before turning his attention back to his food. He had the decency to ignore the loud laughter. It wasn’t his fault that Dean has sparked his curiosity. Sam cheered up at the smell of apple pie. He had to hand it to his brother, just the smell was enough proof of his baking skills. He was about to take a bite when Dean suddenly sounded like he was having a religious experience from eating the pie. Sam raised an eyebrow, watching with some amusement, until all color drained from his face. It wasn’t like he could blame Dean, he understood why it was important and meaningful, but his heart was crushed by the shock of knowing he'd never had that. Sam was sure that his brother missed their mom more than he did, after all he never really got to know her and could only miss a figure, a fantasy. But it didn't mean he was okay with never having her around. He looked down at the piece of pie, fork dangling loosely from his fingers. He took a bite and yes, it was good, but he couldn't enjoy it. "If you say so." Sam mumbled, still not raising his head. He hadn't meant to sound so miserable and he hated the tone of his own voice. He hated the creature that took a normal life away from him, hated that he was bringing Dean down in his own despair.

Dean chuckled, feeling amused. It hadn’t been his intention to say that he would never tire of doing the house chores, but so far he had always done it eagerly. He knew Sam thought it was boring doing the chores, but Dean kind of did it automatically. He liked it because most of the times he was relaxed, singing along some silly song form the radio and he didn’t need to worry about a thing. “You can use it against me whenever, little bro.” Dean said, shaking his head in amusement. He then nodded in agreement once more, this time humming as well, when Sam promised he’d tell when he felt like eating something that wasn’t homemade. Dean hadn’t raised his head from the pie since the first bite, but when Sam replied, Dean could feel something was wrong. He stopped eating and looked up at his brother, frown growing even deeper as he noticed Sam had taken just one bite. “You didn’t like it?” Dean asked, slowly. Could it be that in his mind he had always thought his mother’s pie was the best and in reality it was horrible and Sam now hated it? “I know it’s not your favourite dessert, but is it really that bad?” Dean couldn’t even know if it was only that, because Sam seemed devastated and Dean had no idea what to do. A second ago he had felt so happy for achieving something like baking a pie just like mother, and now he felt at a complete loss. He stopped eating, dragging his chair over to Sam, taking his brother’s hands and making him let go of his fork. Then he tugged Sam, cupping Sam’s head with one hand so he could force Sam to look at him. “Hey, what’s the matter? I’m here, okay? You know you can count on me, right?” His voice was a whisper, as if what they were sharing in that moment was something private – even though they already were in the privacy of their dorm. “Is it the pie? Is it something I said?”

Sam couldn't say he was surprised by Dean's easy acceptance to do the chores. He made a mental note to help more, especially now that he knew when Dean usually cleaned the dorm, but it was good that he didn't have to worry about it. "See, best househusband ever." Sam chuckled. He liked that word and he thought he'd use it often make his brother flustered. He often thought of the future, but it was obvious that they were practically married. They knew each other like nobody else, bantered like an old married couple and could have sex whenever they wanted because they lived together, just the two of them. If that didn't count, Sam doubted that a legal paper would change much. He wanted it someday, of course, but for now he was happy with what they had and he hoped it would always be like that. As expected, Dean reacted to his mood swing, perking up at even the slightest sign that something was wrong. Sam didn't want to show it, it was his problem and Dean didn't deserve to be sad because of that. "No, no, of course not. Your pie's great." He reassured, but didn't say what was bothering him. He didn't think he could. It surprised him that Dean hadn't realized it yet. Well, it was probably better that way. The last thing Sam needed to add to his misery was making his brother feel guilty for that innocent comment. He felt Dean's hand in his and he immediately squeezed, trying to take some strength so he could face him. "I know." Sam replied in the same quiet tone. He wrapped his arms around Dean and buried his face into his neck, wishing they could just stop talking about it. "I don't know the taste of mom's pies." His voice was barely a whisper now. "Yours is really good, but I don't… I can't think about it. I'm sorry, it's not your fault. I don't want to make you feel bad, you were so happy."

Dean rolled his eyes, trying to feign annoyance, but he still blushed and he couldn’t vanish the small smile in time. He was really warming up to the word and he felt that he would end up embracing it in no time. Mainly if Sam kept saying it lovingly, like he wanted it to be true. Dean wanted it too. He’d love to get married to his brother, although he didn’t think it was all that necessary. They already had everything a couple could have and they wouldn’t be able to throw a party if they ever got married because everyone they cared about knew they were brothers and probably wouldn’t accept their marriage. For now, though, they didn’t need a paper to officialise their love. If in the future Sam felt like marrying, Dean could think about it again and together they’d come to a conclusion. Now, though, Dean had more important thoughts clogging his mind. His baby brother was in distress and this always made /him/ in distress, mainly when he had no idea what to do about it. When Sam said his pie was good, Dean’s frown only intensified, and he was even more clueless. He was about to ask more questions when Sam put his arms around him, hiding his face against Dean’s neck. Dean just held him and waited for his brother to speak. And whatever it was, Dean hadn’t been expecting for Sam to say that. He remained in silence for a while, feeling his heart tighten up in his chest. He felt guilty for bringing up their mom and showing Sam that he hadn’t had that before. But he was feeling sad because he had found something he thought he had lost long ago and now he needed to give it up. “I’m sorry, Sammy.” Dean apologized, although there was nothing he could say to fix that. “Why don’t you go to our bed? I’ll clean up here and then we can cuddle. Later if you still feel like having sex, I’ll keep my part of the deal, okay?” Dean said tenderly, standing up and pulling his brother with him. He gave Sam a peck on the lips before dragging Sam to the door of the room and pushing him softly inside. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Sam tried his best not to sound too upset, worried that Dean would blame himself. They didn't need more reasons for that, not when things were happy. He realized he shouldn't have hugged Dean so tightly, that only showed that he wasn't in a happy state of mind. Sam closed his eyes, breathing in deeply so he could control himself to pull away, and then his brother was apologizing. He knew it would happen, but it didn't soothe him. He felt terrible bringing that up instead of letting it pass, now Dean was sad. Sam opened his mouth, but closed it right up when Dean suggested he should go to bed. He frowned, not understanding the reason even though the idea of resting on their bed was welcome. "But the pie… I liked it." He protested softly as they got up. Sam didn't let go of his brother until he was pushed towards the room. That's when he realized it must be because Dean wanted some time alone to think it through, or to enjoy his pie without having someone being a downer around him. Sam looked down sadly and nodded. "I'm gonna eat more later, save up a piece for me." He was honest about that, because the pie /was/ delicious and he wanted to finish a piece at least. But he wouldn't bother Dean for the time being. "Come back to cuddle, okay?" Sam added to show that he wasn't holding a grudge or anything like that. In fact, he hoped that his brother would go back to his side soon. That was what he needed. He lied down on the bed and curled a little on his side, trying to look smaller than he was. Sam struggled not to think of all the things he had lost when his mother died. He had overcome that, he never spent too long imagining her but now he was sad that he couldn't even remember the sound of her voice. He just hoped he hadn't upset Dean enough to lose him too.

Dean tried to give his brother a smile so he wouldn’t fret about it, about the pie or about Dean. When Sam asked him to save a piece of pie, he just nodded shortly and once he saw Sam lying on the bed, Dean replied. “One minute. I’ll just put the food away and wash the dishes and then I’ll come back. I won’t leave a mess on my recently cleaned kitchen.” He tried to go for a light mood, closing the door behind himself so he could take a moment to breathe. He then proceeded to do what he told Sam he would, putting the covers over the pans and then put some of the things in the fridge and others in the oven. He then looked at the pie. He pursed his lips and he felt like crying, because now that Dean found out about this, he didn’t want to let go. But truth be told, Sam was more important than mom and Dean would do any sacrifice for his baby brother. So he took the pie and threw it in the garbage, doing the same with the rest in their plates. Before washing the dishes, Dean left the dorm – unashamed of just wearing his underwear – to throw the plastic bag into the dorm’s trashcan. He then came back to the dorm and he started cleaning what they had used to eat, letting the things to dry once he was over. He tried breathing in and out once more, forcing himself to keep his composure, because Sam needed him and he couldn’t let himself be sad, not when Sam was feeling so low. A moment later he finally entered their room, noticing how Sam was lying down and Dean did what he had done many times before. He lied down by Sam’s side and pulled him closer to his chest, arms tight around Sam’s body. Dean felt like apologizing again, but it would be useless if he did so, so he just held Sam close and started humming a random song under his breath as an attempt to calm his brother down.

Sam nodded, even managing a smile at Dean's words. As the door closed, though, it vanished completely. He could hear Dean working around in the kitchen and somehow it helped him, prevented him from going too deep into his misery. Sam closed his eyes and just listened, reminding himself that it was his brother there, the person who had always taken care of him and would continue to do so. He was glad for the food and the clean dorm and now he wished he had finished his piece of pie. Dean deserved recognition for the things he did and he was allowed to miss the life he'd known for so little time before it burned to ashes. It seemed like a long time had passed until Sam heard the door. He didn't look up, but released a shaky breath when Dean embraced him. It was amazing how fast it worked to relax him and he pressed more against Dean, needing to feel his skin. Sam smiled as he heard the soft melody of a song. After a long moment, he turned around to face his brother, remaining close to him. "I'm okay, Dean. Really." He said without wavering. Focusing on the things he /had/ instead of those he never had a chance to enjoy helped him feel better. Now, looking into Dean's eyes, Sam knew that there wasn't anything more important. "Your pie was awesome. I bet it really is like mom's." He smiled lightly, leaning in to kiss Dean slowly. That was easier, he knew what to do when they were kissing. His heart was beating faster but it was for a different reason than distress. "Thank you for giving me a home." Sam whispered, sliding a hand up his brother's arm to cup his neck. "How are you? I think I spooked you back there, sorry. It was just so sudden."

Dean continued humming even though Sam started speaking to him, either because it was Dean who needed it or Sam, although it wasn’t helping Dean if he was completely honest with himself. Which he wasn’t, so he could pretend that he felt a little better. He stopped the humming when Sam mentioned his pie and Dean felt a lump in his throat. He could cry in that moment, but he wouldn’t. Sam could say he was okay, but Dean was still worried. Before he could reply, though, Sam was kissing him and Dean tried to kiss back, but he wasn’t completely into it. He still felt like he had failed Sam, he felt like it had been some kind of betrayal, remembering the mother when Sam had no recollection whatsoever of her. When the kiss was broken, Dean didn’t open his eyes back, which seemed to be a clever idea because Sam’s next words made him grimace and he couldn’t face Sam. He /hadn’t/ given Sam a home. Everything he did was trying to copy what he remembered of his mother and it wasn’t much, but it had made him feel like home, so when he ran out of the burning house with Sam in his arms, he had already decided that he’d try to give Sam everything his mother had given to Dean. He hadn’t been as patient as his mother had been, nor had he been as gentle and caring as her, but he had tried. But truth be told, everything he did was somewhat a copy of his mother and if Sam couldn’t handle eating the pie, if he ever found out about how much of their mom Dean had ended up projecting in their lives to raise Sam, he could probably hate Dean, and Dean wasn’t sure he’d be able to live with that. “I’m okay.” Dean opened his eyes at his brother’s inquiry, but he couldn’t open a smile or make a joke out of it. “And I get it. After years of me refusing to talk about mom, of course you’d react like that. I’m sorry about that.” But Dean had been /so happy/ that he had more of his mom in him than he thought that he ended up sharing that with Sam. “Besides, I was probably mistaken. I couldn’t possibly remember that. It’s been eighteen years, after all.” He lied through his teeth. Dean would remember Mary’s pie – and most of his favourite food that she’d prepare – probably forever, but it would be better to reassure Sam that he had been wrong.

Sam wasn't sure if his words were helping or making it worse, but he had to try. He noticed that Dean was still uncomfortable, probably battling with his own thoughts. What an effective way to ruin their day. He recalled the brightness on his brother's face upon commenting so innocently, Sam shouldn't have let his sorrow take it away. He wanted Dean to be happy again, with their life, with his ability to do something Mary had once done, but now it was too late and they were both affected by it. "You're not." Sam mumbled quietly. He could see in Dean's eyes that he wouldn't be okay that easily. "I wish I hadn't said anything." His hand caressed his brother's neck and shoulder, hoping that the physical contact would soothe their hearts. When Dean brought up that he didn't usually talk about their mother, Sam nodded. It used to bother him, back when he had many questions and no one wanted to answer, but he managed to overcome that on his own. He didn't need to talk about her either, so it was a shock to hear it in a casual conversation. It only proved that Dean hadn't done it on purpose. It wasn't like him, it just slipped. Sam could forgive that, but he needed a moment to heal the wound. "You never talk about her. I don't know anything. I didn't even know she used to make pies, although that explains why you love them so much." He whispered, lowering his head to his brother's shoulder. It was easier when they didn't have to face each other. "Don't lie to me. Even if it you couldn't remember, it was enough to make you think about it. That's powerful. And I /do/ want you to be able to talk about anything, including mom. I… I need to talk." Sam sighed, closing his eyes. "Do you think I would have enjoyed it? Her pies?"

Dean diverted his eyes when Sam said he knew Dean wasn’t okay. He didn’t want to face Sam, didn’t want to agree with him that it would have been better if Sam hadn’t said anything. Not that it would change a thing, though, since it was more about how his brother had felt and not his words. Dean wasn’t angry or upset with Sam, although he was still feeling guilty and miserable. He needed to sound more convincing, but talking about mom had always been a delicate topic for him. When Sam continued talking, Dean winced at the words – it had been all his fault, he should have been more considerate, more tactful. And now that Sam wanted to talk about their mother, Dean /didn’t/. He pursed his lips, glad that Sam was also avoiding his eyes and he had no idea what to say, what to do or even how to apologize. “You would.” Dean replied softly, voice a strained whisper. “I’m sorry for spoiling it for you.” Because if Sam had hated his pie, it wasn’t because his mother’s pies were bad. No, it clearly had been because of the reminder of something he hadn’t had, and it didn’t matter how much Dean could give it to Sam now, it would never be the same. “I’m sorry, Sammy. I can’t talk about mom. I won’t.” He knew his brother deserved to ask question and /finally/ have some answered, but Dean didn’t want to remember, nor did he want to make Sam even more devastated. Dean didn’t even know why he’d say that out loud, that his pie tasted like his mom’s, but now he had screwed everything up. It wouldn’t be the first time. How many times over the years Dean had been defensive and harsh about something while growing up? Part of it had been because he didn’t want for Sam to have to grow up, he wanted his brother to keep his innocence – thing that had been taken from him when he saw his mother on the ceiling. He hadn’t know how to deal with it properly and apparently he still didn’t know how to react. Dean just wanted to hide. Go out, maybe spend a few hours in his car to try and calm down, but he couldn’t leave Sammy after his mistake. So instead, he just closed his eyes and hoped Sam would drop the subject.

Sam couldn't stop talking, not when it was the first opportunity he had in /years/ to know more about his mom. So she used to make delicious pies and Dean remembered the taste – of course he would, it was probably part of the few memories that had stayed after all those years. Although it hurt to think about it, Sam was happy to hear more about what life used to be instead of having only his dreams of a normal family. He was disappointed when Dean said that he couldn't continue talking about that. Honestly, it was expected, but what was he supposed to do, just let it go? Sam tried to be considerate of his brother's feelings, though. He couldn't push the subject and maybe that was better. But now there was a hole in his chest and he didn't know what to do to fill it. "Okay." He said simply, trying to come up with something to cheer them up. His mind was blank. He kept an arm around Dean but rolled to rest on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Sam needed space to breathe and think, he just didn't want to be alone. "We can pretend it never happened." He suggested, still looking up. "Our day was so good, we don't need this sadness." His voice was more determined now, as he hoped they could put that behind and be happy with the present. Sam turned to face his brother again, keeping some distance. "Do you think we can… not let that bring us down?" He asked quietly. It wouldn't do any good if Dean kept his frustrations inside.

Dean was relieved when Sam agreed to drop the subject, but a moment later he ad turning and Dean felt like crying. In the end, being alone wouldn’t be the best idea, Dean needed closure, more than he thought he did. Dean nodded when Sam suggested pretending that this never happened, but Dean knew he would keep feeling a tightness on his heart. So when Sam turned back to him, Dean tugged Sam close, hiding his head on Sam’s neck, legs wrapping around Sam’s. He took a shuddered breath before speaking. “Once, I got really sick. I had a high fever and couldn’t keep anything down. They didn’t let me see you, because they didn’t want you to catch whatever it was that I had and being apart from you was worse than vomiting every time I ate.” Dean stopped a moment to breathe, eyes closing to stop the tears before they fell. He had no idea why he decided to share that with his brother, but it felt important somehow, to let his brother know more about what Dean had experienced before everything burned down. “When mom decided to take me to a hospital to be hospitalized, I asked for pie. It was the first time I had asked for something to eat in days and she prepared one for me. I ate it all and asked for more. She made another one, but when she tried giving me real food I felt like throwing up again. So I ended up eating only pie for about two days before I could keep any other food in.” Dean ended up, opening his eyes and realizing his face was still wet, even though part of the tears fell on the pillow. He squeezed his brother against himself, breathing in the smell of his hair and it helped calm him down a bit, but still not enough.

Sam wrapped his arms around his brother automatically, holding him close. He could tell that something important was about to happen, but he didn't think that Dean would talk after refusing to. His heart skipped a beat and he listened intently. Sam didn't interfere, not even when he started wondering how Dean could remember all that. He didn't remember much of his own early years, but he supposed that the trauma of losing their mother had reinforced some memories that would be lost otherwise. Of course he didn't have the same chance, being just months old when it happened. One would think that Sam was jealous and yes, he wished he could have some memories of a loving mother, but he didn't envy his brother. Dean had gone through horrible things, had to grow up too quickly to take care of him, he deserved as many happy memories of the time before the fire as he could get. Sam found himself crying as well, but in his case it was because he was moved by the story. It gave him hope that they /could/ be happy and have a normal life. He let Dean hold him tight when he finished, then shifted to give him a soft kiss. "That's beautiful. I'm glad you decided to share that with me." Sam whispered, bringing a hand up to wipe off the trail of tears on his brother's cheeks. "She was lovely, wasn't she?" He smiled sadly. "But it's enough for today, no more sad things." The tone was playful, but his eyes were sincere. "I'm alright now." Maybe crying alleviated the weight of emotions. Sam felt lighter and he knew that continuing that talk would give them pain in the end.

Dean was shocked to see Sam crying as well. He blinked a couple of times and let Sam wipe his cheeks, but Dean could only squeeze Sam tighter against his body. At the mention of their mother, Dean smiled softly, more tears sipping through. “She was. You’re a lot like her in this aspect.” Dean admitted. It was something he had been envious when he first noticed, but as he grew up, he could only feel pride towards his brother. That day Dean realized Sam had gotten many of their parents aspects – the chest hair from John, even his stubbornness, and Mary’s kindness. Dean had tried to copy both of his parents, but he didn’t think he was similar with them in any way – maybe aesthetically with Mary, but none of their personalities, apparently. Dean didn’t mention any of that to Sam, didn’t need to worry his brother with his self-degrading thoughts. Truth be told, though, now that Dean had shared a bit of their mother to Sam – and even showing him that he had always loved pie, even before their mother died – and he had cried while holding his brother, Dean did feel more at ease. “Why’s it that whenever I have you in my arms I feel so… peaceful?” Dean asked, more to himself than to Sam. He had mentioned it before that he had had trouble sleeping when their mother had died if he wasn’t attached to his brother somehow, but it was more than that. Remembering the memory of when he was sick, he recalled how devastated he was that he couldn’t see Sam, hold him and talk gibberish to him. Could Sam be right? Were they meant to be together? But why? And how? Dean decided not to share his doubts with Sam, mostly because he knew what his brother thought, but also because he needed time to accept the idea that maybe this would always end up happening, one way or another.

Sam bit his lip, trying not to cry again. He had never thought of being like their mother, with nothing about her personality to compare, but in the few pictures that survived the fire, he could see the kindness in her eyes. Maybe Dean was right and he let himself feel a bit of pride from having inherited a good trait. It sure beat the well-known Winchester stubbornness he apparently got from John. At Dean's words, Sam gazed into his eyes with a smile. "Well, I don't know, but I feel the same way. Even at the worst times, I can relax in your arms." He slid his hand over his brother's arm as he spoke. "I get that you don't believe in destiny, but somehow we have a deep connection that we can never recreate with someone else. We belong to each other." Sam stated quietly. They didn't need to diminish their love to make it look normal. It would always be this intense, complete emotion. Overcome by that notion, he pulled Dean to a passionate kiss. It felt slightly wet after the tears, but at least Sam felt that the crying was over. The misery he'd struggled with just moments before was gone, leaving room for happiness and excitement. All that came through with the kiss. He let out a shaky breath as he pulled back, glancing up at Dean. "Tell me what you were planning as my surprise." Sam needed to turn his attention to lighter matters and with the craving for his brother's touch he couldn't think of anything better. Besides, now that he could breathe without feeling like crying, he was curious again. He had no idea what Dean intended to do, but he was counting on that to successfully distract them from all troubles.

Dean hummed nonchalantly, not wanting to give in. They did have a deeper connection, a bond no one could ever be able to break, but could it really be called destiny? He had thought it might have something to do with the fact that he had practically raised Sam on his own and with John’s rules of ‘watching out for Sammy’ – even though he didn’t need to say, Dean had always known that – that they ended up where they were now, but as he thought about it, this could have started way before any of that happened. Before he could reply to Sam’s words, though, Dean was being kissed quite deeply and sloppily and he couldn’t complain. He kissed back, even though he was still feeling a bit overwhelmed by the events of the last hour. Dean panted loudly when Sam broke the kiss and he felt himself blushing at the question. “I, uh…” Dean started, clearing his throat so his voice wouldn’t sound so hoarse. “I wanted to fuck you.” He said slowly, noticing how hoarse his voice still was. This time, he only licked his lips though. “While sucking you.” Dean continued, voice dropping a note or two. “And maybe with the vibrator in my ass.” That last part he had thought when he suggested to Sam earlier. It felt interesting enough, the idea. They’d both have their cocks /and/ prostates worked over and it would probably be wonderful. At least Dean hoped so. “We don’t need to do it today, though.” Dean said, bringing a hand to Sam’s face and caressing his cheek fondly. “We can just do something more vanilla.” He was being honest. Dean wanted to do it all, of course, mainly because he thought he’d forgot about the day’s events that way, but he knew how sad they had been and if Sam preferred to have a more common sex, Dean wouldn’t be against it. He just needed to feel Sam’s skin on his own.

Sam felt a shiver run up his spine at the hoarse tone of Dean's voice. If he thought it was too much, though, it definitely hadn't prepared him for the things Dean said next. Whatever Sam was expecting, it didn't even get close. He almost asked if his brother could actually fuck him and suck him at the same time, but then he remembered they had already discussed it. And frankly, he wanted to try it out practically. "God, Dean." It came out as a moan and Sam squirmed in anticipation. "How did you ever come up with that?" He tilted his head towards Dean's touch, eyes darkening as he imagined how intense it would be. Even though he could have answered right away, he also considered the offer of doing something vanilla. Well, it would be nice too, but he knew he would be thinking about the other kinky suggestion and things could end up rough anyway. Sam wanted a chance to lose himself to pleasure and forget the sadness. "I want it now." He replied with certainty, voice dropping low like Dean's. "We won't even need to prep much after what we did." Sam purred, licking below his brother's earlobe. He tugged on the waistband of Dean's underwear but didn't move down to pull it all the way off. He got distracted by sliding his lips over Dean's jaw until he got to his lips and kissed him eagerly once more. Even though, it never took much to get them going, Sam was into foreplay. He loved the moments of kissing and biting and running their hands all over each other before they got to the actual fucking.

Dean really enjoyed the reactions his words had on Sam and he knew the answer before his brother accepted his proposal. Dean hummed, agreeing that they wouldn’t need much preparation, but he wanted to just kiss his brother for now. Sure, he was already hard, and when Sam started kissing his jaw and tugging his underwear, Dean was more than willing to do what he had suggested, but they had been in a dark place a few moments ago and Dean needed to just kiss his brother, feel him close, hold him for a while before they started with their kinky sex. That’s why when Sam kissed him eagerly, Dean kissed back with the same intensity. He let one hand run to Sam’s hair so he could tug it and hold it as he wished, the other still wrapped around Sam’s waist. Their legs were intertwined together, but Dean didn’t do anything about that for a moment. He just kissed Sam, tasting him, feeling him and conveying all his love into that simple act. When he broke the kiss, it was to suck and bite Sam’s jaw and then neck, adding more and more hickeys to Sammy’s neck like he enjoyed doing. He then squirmed down so he could continue with the licks and sucks over Sam’s shoulder, collarbones and finally attaching his mouth around a nipple. Meanwhile, he tugged Sam’s underwear out of the way and did the same with his own. He moved back up, kissing Sam on the mouth once more, thrusting his hips against Sam’s just so their cocks could slide together. “I fucking love you, Sammy.” Dean panted into Sam’s mouth, looking at the bedside table to check if the lube and vibrator were there. “Let’s open each other up. Then I want you by the end of the bed.” Dean said, taking the lube and squirting some of it into his fingers, before giving the lube to Sam. Attacking with his mouth the nipple he hadn’t touched yet, Dean let his fingers go to Sam’s ass and once he reached his hole, he eased two fingers inside slowly.

Sam hummed into the kiss, too susceptible to care about being quiet. The kiss was simple compared to what they planned on doing, but it was lighting up a fire inside them. Sam clutched onto Dean's shoulders and waist as they kissed, tongues slipping and intertwining the way their whole bodies tried to do. He didn't even have time to complain when they broke apart, as Dean attacked his neck with the usual enthusiasm. Sam moaned and shuddered, his hands tightening wherever they were to feel more of his brother's body. His eyelids fluttered closed and he threw his head back with Dean's mouth closing around his nipple. He shifted as well as he could to give them room to get naked, gasping at the friction he so longed for when they rutted together. Sam wouldn't mind doing just that until they got off, but Dean's idea was wonderful and there was no need to save it for another time. "Love you so much." He replied, words full of meaning. He could say more, but then he stopped thinking at Dean's words. "You're bossy today." Sam said with amusement as he took the lube. He almost dropped the bottle while pouring some on his hand, his brother's fingers and mouth giving him a jolt of pleasure. "Fuck." He groaned, rolling his hips forward. Regaining his control, Sam moved to slide two fingers into Dean's hole, careful but firm. Since he couldn't return the favor with his mouth, he used his free hand to touch and pinch Dean's nipple, meaning to give him the same overwhelming sensations. Sam fingered his brother expertly, scissoring and curling his fingers, soon pushing in a third one. He moved his hips to the same pace, getting them ready together. He moaned as Dean worked him up, until he needed more than his fingers. "That's enough." Sam panted, slowly pulling his hand back. He swayed his hips to let Dean's fingers slip out and then smirked at him. After a quick peck to his brother's lips, Sam slid down to the end of the bed, his hips just on the edge. "Like this? Should we use our pillows, too?"

Dean smirked at Sam’s comment, blushing slightly even though he felt kind of proud. It hadn’t been his intention to sound bossy – because honestly, he was just guiding Sam through what they were supposed to do – but he could accept that quality for the time being. He didn’t reply, though. Sam’s fingers were quick to make a wonderful job of slipping inside him and then fingering, prepping him well for the vibrator. Dean ended up moaning when Sam pinched his nipple from how unexpected it had been. Feeling hot all over, mind fogging with such enthusiasm, Dean stopped his ministrations on Sammy’s nipple and returned for a hungrier, more desperate kiss. He added a third finger soon after, his fingers scissoring Sam open as he moved them in and out, and whenever he reached the deepest part he could reach, he’d curve his fingers just right to stroke against Sam’s prostate. Dean gasped at the third finger in his own hole, but he only moved his hips accordingly with Sam’s, and Dean had no idea if his plan was a good one. Now that he thought about it, he wanted to fuck Sam and suck him off at the same time /and/ have a vibrator in his ass. Dean could get off /only/ by sucking his partner off, so he only hoped he lasted at least ten minutes after he was inside Sam, otherwise it would be way too embarrassing. His thoughts were interrupted when Sam said it was enough and started untangling themselves and Dean just whined. But seeing his brother position himself by the end of the bed, Dean could only moan. He took one pillow like Sam had mentioned and in a swift motion he raised Sam’s legs over his shoulder just to position the pillow under Sam’s flanks. Then, he put Sam’s feet on the bed, letting the legs wide open for him. “Can you hold it like this? Once I’m doing the thing I won’t be able to hold your legs.” Dean spoke way too coherent for his like, but he couldn’t mess this up. He took the lube once more and lubed himself and the toy before going back between Sam’s legs. Looking at Sam’s hole and then at his cock, Dean bit his lip deciding to put the toy inside himself first – the rest would take all his concentration away and he wouldn’t be able to put the toy in afterwards. He gasped when the vibrator breached him and he panted a few times before turning it on to a low setting. “Are you ready?” Dean asked, holding his cock and positioning it over Sam’s hole, but not pressing inside yet.

Sam was already way too aroused, Dean's fingers not going easy on him. He wanted to keep going, but the moment they took to reposition themselves was nice to let him catch his breath. He could only think of how overwhelming it would feel to have Dean inside him and sucking him while also using the vibrator. That was the kind of kinky thing Sam had never imagined he would do but since he'd started having sex with his brother it sounded amazing. His breath caught in his throat when Dean held his legs up. It wasn't an usual position for them, as they mostly tried to remain close together, but it had an appeal to him. It wasn't quite what they needed, though. Sam's hips were slightly raised on top of the pillow and he kept his feet on each side of the bed as Dean instructed him to spread his legs wide. "Yeah, I can." The position demanded some strength and flexibility, although Dean would need it the most. Sam could barely believe it was possible. He'd heard of that, but as fantasies, not something real people could do. He remembered he didn't know many people with special talents in bed anyway. "And the /thing/? You mean when I have your mouth as well as your cock to drive me crazy, huh?" Sam licked his lips, watching hungrily as Dean took the vibrator first. He was sure that his brother would love it, as he had on his turn. "I'm gonna hold this." He grinned, grabbing the remote. Sam breathed in deeply and nodded right away at the question, but then Dean wasn't pushing in. Oh no, he couldn't handle teasing at this point. "What are you waiting for? Just fuck me." He placed a hand on Dean's hip and pulled him closer, enough to exert some pressure.

Dean was glad Sam was ready to comply to his requests. He would love to hold Sam’s up or even around him, but he would be too restrained to actually have anything on him, so he would rather not risk it. He knew for a fact that he was flexible and that he would be able to do it, but he didn’t want to hurt himself – or even Sam – while doing this, so he needed to be extra careful. Dean whined at Sam’s words, though, thinking it was highly unfair that Sam was speaking like that. He closed his eyes and licked his lips, trying not to come on the spot, but then Sam was speaking again and Dean’s eyes flew open, noticing his brother was taking the remote to the vibrator. He gulped, desperately thinking that Sam /couldn’t/ quicken the setting, otherwise this would be over too soon and Dean would feel ashamed and embarrassed for as long as he lived. Thankfully, Sam didn’t do a thing with the remote – at least not now. Instead, he was ordering Dean to fuck him and he couldn’t help the silly smile from his face. Biting his lower lip, Dean pushed in slowly, just feeling Sam opening up for him – warm, welcoming and tight. “God.” Dean moaned when he bottomed out. Before he could suck Sam, he took almost everything out and then snapped his hips forward hard. He repeated the action a few times before slowly getting out of Sam, leaving only the head of his cock inside as he started bending down. Once his face was close to Sam’s cock, Dean breathed Sam’s musk in before taking Sam into his mouth. With his hips stopped, he lapped a bit at the head before getting Sam deeper, sucking around the hard flesh of his brother’s dick. Dean waited a few moments, just sucking at Sam’s cock before snapping his hips forward once more. His hands held Sam’s hips tightly, keeping Sam in the exact same place to make sure his brother would take advantage of the full experience. Being in that position was slightly straining, but it was something good, because it kept Dean from shooting his load too soon. In that moment, Dean couldn’t say a word, not even look at his brother due to his complex position, but he gave all of him to both fucking and sucking Sam.

Sam left the remote within reach, but didn't change the setting. He caught the look on Dean's eyes and realized that he should wait a bit longer for that, let them enjoy it to the fullest. He didn't even have much time to consider that, as Dean started entering him slowly. Sam had used the vibrator earlier, but nothing compared to his brother's cock. His lips parted in a breathy moan and for a moment he thought they would keep going like that, slow and deep. But then Dean's hips snapped forward and Sam whimpered in surprise. It went over and over until he was left craving more. Having only the tip inside felt like torture and he almost called Dean out on that, but it soon became clear that he was trying to do something else. Sam watched, mesmerized, as his brother's lips closed around his dick. Well, that wasn't exactly new for them, he was used to that image, but not when he was getting fucked at the same time. He had to control himself not to move his hips, because he didn't want to ruin it. He moaned as Dean sucked him and he was so focused on it that he wasn't expecting the next thrust. Sam was glad that his hips were held in place, saving him from the concern of disrupting their movements. He kept a hand on Dean's arm just to feel him and twisted his fingers on the sheets. "Dean, that's… /fuck/." His voice was low and needy, unable to find a word that truly described what he was feeling. Sam couldn't stop watching either. He couldn't stop marveling at the way his brother bent over to give him twice the pleasure. He remembered the remote when his hand brushed against it and of course he would want to give something back to Dean. He turned it up one setting, then another without hesitation.

Dean loved Sam’s noises. Okay, maybe Dean was a little biased, because he loved every single thing his baby brother did in bed – and out of it too. His noises, his face – that he couldn’t see, but could clearly imagine –, the pleasure he was so clearly feeling… It all was amazing to Dean. Not to mention that he had Sam’s perfect cock inside his mouth, his tongue working over it viciously as he sucked his brother hard. His cock also felt particularly more sensitive, but it might be due to the hot channel it was in – and the cock in his mouth and the vibrator in his ass. So when Sam tried to speak but couldn’t, Dean knew his plan of worshipping his brother into oblivion was going to happen. Dean gasped, almost gagging with Sam’s cock when Sam raised the setting of the vibrator. His hands held even tighter on Sam’s hips, trying to control himself. He panted through his nose, refusing to let go of Sam’s cock, but he needed time to breathe. His cock was twitching inside Sam, desperate to get off as he felt his prostate being nailed by the toy inside him. Sam was obviously trying to kill him and Dean had so many dreams to fulfil that he felt like biting Sam’s cock, but he loved that cock too much to make any harm to it. Instead, Dean made it his goal to make Sam come first. He resumed his pace with his hips, trying to go even harder than before, and he also sucked Sam deeper, deepthroating him as much as he could in his current position. Even when he couldn’t reach Sam’s root, he sucked and licked and played with Sam’s length and head and slit and it was sloppy and wet and Dean wanted to come too badly, but he wouldn’t. His hands still had an iron grip on his brother’s hips and that was what was preventing Dean from coming too fast.

Sam should feel smug over the gasp he earned from Dean, but he was just as rapt by pleasure. The hands holding him tighter sent a shiver up his spine and he didn't even need to test the grip to know that Dean had him exactly where he wanted. Honestly, Sam couldn't dream of a better place to be, caught between his brother's mouth and cock. He was practically feeling the effort Dean had to make to keep the position and he was sure that part of that was to fight against the need to finish too fast. He knew because he was dealing with it too. Dean's tongue teased and toyed with him until Sam was a mess, panting loudly. It would be easy to hold on for longer if Dean hadn't also resumed fucking him. Sam groaned and his nails dug a little into his brother's arm, looking for something to ground him. His cock twitched as Dean somehow managed to make his thrusts deep and right into his prostate. God, he had never thought it could be so good to have a flexible partner. Maybe he would have to ask Dean where he'd learned that – no, that wasn't what he wanted to know. Sam would rather just learn how to do it too, but that was a question for later anyway. At the moment, there wasn't anything but burning heat and the sound of their moans. "Dean!" Sam gasped, urgency evident in his tone even though he had no idea what he was trying to get. He wished it could last but he wouldn't tell Dean to slow down, not when it felt so good and it was overwhelming his better judgment. "Fuck, I don't even care, just make me come." He pleaded, hips bucking up before he could help it.

Dean was feeling desperate, but he could see his brother was on the same boat as him. Sam’s noises, the way he squeezed Dean’s arm, it was all a reminder of how good Dean was doing this, how pleasurable it would be. Well, Dean knew it well, having the vibrator inside him, his cock in Sam and his mouth around his brother. God, he wondered how he lasted so long. When Sam’s cock twitched, Dean knew it would be a matter of minutes for him to come, because that was just too hot. But then Sam was begging him to come, ordering to make him come and his hips moved and Dean came embarrassingly soon inside his brother. However, wanting to do exactly what Sam asked of him, Dean took his cock out at the same time he reached around himself to take the toy out and he flopped on his knees – mouth still working over Sam’s cock. Dean slipped the toy inside his brother in quick, swift motion. He started fucking Sam with the vibrator quickly, pulling it out and pushing it in a quite frantic move, his mouth sucked around Sam’s length, Dean’s tongue lapping all around the head and over Sam’s thick veins and sensitive spots that he already knew exactly where they were. Dean hadn’t exactly come back from his high yet, his cock half hard, still interested, but not ready to participate in the mix so soon. However, Dean didn’t care about any of it. He just wanted to make his little brother come and make sure this experience wouldn’t be completely lost since Dean had come too soon – one more thing to be embarrassed that day. Hopefully it would be last of the day. Hopefully the next day wouldn’t be such a rollercoaster for them.

Sam was on the brink of letting go when he felt Dean come inside him, filling him with hot, thick liquid. He didn't really mind it, as he knew he would be right behind. However, Dean suddenly pulled out of him, making him whimper in protest. Now that was downright cruel. Sam opened his mouth to ask what the hell was going on, but when he noticed the swift movement of his brother's hand, it was already too late. He moaned unashamedly as the vibrator was pushed into him, Dean finding a perfect rhythm to fuck him senseless. With the new position, Sam could tangle his fingers into Dean's hair and even control the movements of his head, although he didn't need to because it was already amazing. It felt like Dean was everywhere, making him take more than he ever thought he could. He did roll his hips without much finesse and then let out a shout when his orgasm hit him. With the vibrator deep inside, Sam bucked up and came into his brother's mouth, covering his skilful tongue with it. He didn't let Dean pull away – doubting he wanted to anyway – as he rode it out, a soft moan escaping him. Even as it started getting too sensitive, he didn't turn the vibrator off or tried to squirm away, just appreciating the intensity of it to forget anything but the pleasure he felt. "Come up here." Sam beckoned his brother, used to kissing and holding him while they were having sex. He wanted to say how incredible it was to him, how relaxed he felt, but he was still controlling his breathing and he hoped the feeling was obvious in his dazed smile.

Dean moaned when he felt Sam coming down his throat. He swallowed every bit of come in his mouth, slowing the pace in which he fucked Sam with the toy so it wouldn’t be overwhelming and only when Sam called him did he took the vibrator out. He stood up in wobbly legs letting the vibrator – drenched in come and lube – fall to the bed and he pulled Sam up on the bed, rearranging him. When he was happy with Sam’s position on the bed, Dean joined him, sighing when he finally let his body rest after such an activity. He needed to work out more, he was getting careless and he needed to keep up with his work outs, otherwise he would put on some weight and wouldn’t be able to bend like that so soon, and if he wanted to do this with Sam once more, he wouldn’t be able to. Dean pulled Sam to his arms and closed his eyes, too lazy to do much else. “So?” Dean asked, a bit uncertain. Sure, he noticed how Sam had enjoyed it, but Dean still ended up too soon. Not to mention that now that his mind was freed from arousal and his high, now Dean could think and the events of the day only made Dean want to flee. He didn’t want to abandon his brother, but he wanted a moment to himself, maybe walk around campus – even in the rain if the noise of it hitting the window was anything to go by – or sit inside the Impala and just think. He felt like apologizing again, but he didn’t want to start a discussion now. “Let’s sleep?” Dean asked, because that was the only plausible way to go to avoid talking. He refused to open his eyes and he squeezed Sam closer to him in an attempt to get some closure.

Sam turned off the vibrator and left the remote next to it on the bed. He didn't want to move at all, but Dean pulled him up the bed and he went willingly, just because resisting would demand too much effort. He wrapped his arms around Dean as they finally rested together. At the monosyllabic question, Sam raised his eyebrow, not understanding why his brother could possibly be uncertain about his answer. "It was great. I fucking love your flexibility." He said lightly, offering a genuine smile. But there was still something off about Dean and he started to wonder if it had anything to do with sex at all. It wasn't for lack of enjoyment, Sam had noticed it easily enough. Dean wasn't looking at him and kept the embrace too tight, that only happened when they were vulnerable, trying to avoid something. Then Sam remembered how they were earlier and it made sense. He wasn't feeling like that anymore, although there was a hint of sadness in his heart to think that Dean hadn't been able to let it go even after they did something completely different. "Dean? We're alright, aren't we?" Sam asked, ignoring the question. He ran a hand over his brother's back. He didn't want to start the whole conversation again, but he needed to offer some kind of comfort. "I can only sleep if I know we'll get through this. We don't need to bring all that up again, I just want you to be fine."

Dean smiled at Sam’s words. It wasn’t a huge smile, but it was a sincere one. He relished on the silence for a while and honestly thought Sam would fall asleep at any moment, but then Sam was asking him if they were alright and Dean tensed. What happened that Sam was so good at noticing when he was feeling down? Granted, Dean also knew exactly when his brother felt a little blue, but Dean hated when people noticed he wasn’t okay. It was his brother, though, and his instinct was to guarantee that yeah, everything was alright. “We’ll get through this. We’ll get through everything, okay?” And he meant it, whatever happened in their future, they’d overcome such a thing with their love. And yeah, Dean was sad, but it wasn’t /because/ of Sam, so he shouldn’t worry. “I’ll be fine. I just… need some time. Okay?” He was still avoiding Sam’s eyes, even though now he had opened them. In all honesty, Dean just wanted their mother alive. He missed her /so much/ and it would have been completely different if she had been alive. Sam would have had the normal he had always wanted, he’d know the care and kindness of their mother and he knew that even if Sam shared with her about his visions, for example, she’d listen and be there for him. Sam needed that, deserved that. And while Dean had tried to replace her, wanted to give Sam everything that was taken from him, it wasn’t enough, it would never be enough. And now Dean felt like he had somehow betrayed Sam for trying to do exactly that. He didn’t know what to think, but didn’t want to ask Sam, question him if he was doing this whole big brother thing wrong.

Sam traced the line of Dean's spine to see if he could ease the tension. He couldn't stay quiet upon noticing Dean's distress, but it was unfortunately too easy to make it worse by saying the wrong thing, so he threaded carefully. "Yeah, we will." Sam agreed, feeling more relieved although he was still worried. He saw that his brother meant what he'd said and it was enough. He thought it would be all until Dean admitted that he needed some time. If he said so, it definitely was necessary. "I can give you time." Sam nodded with a small smile. "I'm not going to discuss it anymore, but I'd like it if you stayed with me." He hoped that giving Dean time didn't equal them being apart because he wanted the exact opposite. Of course, if it came down to it, Sam wouldn't forbid Dean from leaving to clear his head, but he liked to think they could achieve the same result if they stayed together. "We need a good night of sleep." He commented and inevitably yawned. Now that he stopped to feel it, he was more tired than expected. "Know that I love you and I think you're perfect for me." Sam whispered, kissing the corner of his brother's mouth. Instead of opening old wounds, he was trying to cover them with compliments and love. Hopefully those would get into Dean's heart and not upset him more. Sam closed his eyes and snuggled up to his usual position under Dean's chin. "Do you mind if I sleep?" He asked just to make sure, as he could feel sleep crawling up on his mind. What was left unsaid in the question was whether Dean would be there when Sam woke up.

Dean relaxed a bit when Sam agreed that they would be okay. He was also thankful that his brother was thoughtful enough not to doubt him or ask him questions. It wasn’t about them, it was about Dean, so Sam shouldn’t be worried at all. At Sam’s next words, Dean winced, but he finally looked his brother in the eye. “I thought I needed some time with myself, but… Just thinking about leaving you makes me worse.” Dean paused, a bit ashamed of admitting such vulnerability, although he knew Sam would never judge him for that. “I could never leave you.” Dean said in a small voice. He pursed his lips and tugged Sam’s head under his chin, and then Sam was agreeing that they needed to sleep and Dean was once more grateful that Sam wasn’t pressuring him to talk. His brother was perfect in every aspect of the word and he loved him. When Sam said these same words to Dean, Dean couldn’t help but snicker, because he highly doubted that he was perfect for Sammy, either as a brother or a lover. But instead of saying anything about that, he decided to let go – he needed time, after all. “I love you too.” Dean cuddled closer to Sam, and it was so obvious that they were going to sleep that Sam’s words actually surprised him. “Of course, Sammy. I’m gonna sleep as well.” He kissed his brother’s temple before opening a small smile. “See ya in the morning, baby brother.” Dean murmured, knowing that he didn’t need to be loud. Breathing in Sam’s wonderful smell, Dean closed his eyes once more and focused to fall asleep. He only managed to sleep once Sammy had first.

[righteousdeanw]

Won`t Give Up | Wincest

WHO → Sam Winchester and Dean Winchester

WHEN → October 23rd

WHERE → Their dorm.

WHAT → Sam gets mad at Dean for using his laptop without asking and filling it with viruses.

Warnings → Incest, dom/sub, angst, mention to past prostitution, self-loathing.

Sam was very organized with his belongings, to the point of looking a bit compulsive. The downside to this extreme care was that he hated when people took his stuff without asking, even though he should be used to it from spending all his life with Dean. He had learned not to be mad when it happened, but it still made him grumble under his breath. However, sometimes it was bad enough to test his patience. Sam had been working on an essay all afternoon, beginning right after lunch because he was sure he would be able to finish it and be free on the weekend, unlike many of his classmates. He was mostly using books from the library, but then he had to look up the definition to a concept he was having a hard time understanding. He opened the browser for a quick search, something easy, and he was just about to type when dozens of new tabs popped up without so much as a click. Sam stared wide-eyed, the fear of losing everything he'd just written creeping up his spine. He started clicking wherever he could to close it all, wondering how the hell he'd managed to do that, and that was when he noticed that among the ads there were links to porn sites. He remembered he wasn't the only one who used the laptop and he would definitely have a stern conversation with Dean later, after he got it to work. He didn't seem to have that luck, though. The screen froze and Sam's heartbeat picked up. "No, no, no, c'mon, you can do that!" He resisted the urge to smack the screen. "Dean!" He turned around angrily, looking for his brother. "Dean, what the fuck did you do to my laptop?"

Dean had the tendency to take Sam’s computer whenever he saw fit – and when Sammy wasn’t using it, of course. And it was true that most of the time he took it to look for porn, but there were a few times that he had used it for school – or even research, like the yellow-eyed demon and about psychics, although he hadn’t been lucky with that. It was also a fact that Dean was terrible with technology. He didn’t know how to detect viruses and how to fight them, so he wasn’t exactly careful when he used Sam’s laptop, but he had never had the intention to screw Sam up. So when he heard Sam yelling his name, followed by how angry he sounded, Dean knew he had done just that and screwed his brother up. He came from the kitchen, where he had been reading one of his boring course books – and he knew he’d get distracted if he was in the same room as Sam. But Dean knew he had to face Sam now, even though he had no idea what he had happened to Sam’s laptop. He opened the door to their rom and stayed there by the door, trying to play it cool. “I don’t know, what do you mean?” He crossed his arms, both in an attempt to sound casual and also in a nervous gesture. “I mean, a few days ago I, uh, used it. To check on Colby Keller’s new video and…” Dean cleared his throat, diverting his eyes to the side, wondering what he should say. “And half way through it the laptop froze. But I managed to turn it back in, everything seemed in order! I managed to finish the video and it was all good.” He stopped right there, afraid to ask Sam why exactly he seemed so mad about Dean using his laptop. He waited, a bit anxiously, hoping he hadn’t messed up.

Sam pursed his lips when he saw Dean standing at the door, seemingly cool and collected. It wasn't fair, the least one could do at this situation was apologize. As soon as Dean admitted he had used the laptop, Sam knew he was right in his suspicions. He narrowed his eyes and turned livid when his brother mentioned that he /had/ noticed there was something wrong but didn't even bother to tell him. "For God's sake, Dean, you can't just take it whenever you want and not be careful about it!" Sam exclaimed, throwing his hands up. He looked back at the screen – still frozen – and with a grunt of frustration he tried to restart it. "You should have told me you messed it up instead of letting me rely on broken equipment." He grumbled, waiting for it to turn back on. It didn't work. When Sam tried it again, all that showed up was a blue screen, no signs of what he could do to fix it. "Fuck!" He ran a hand through his hair, nearly pulling it too hard. "I lost /half/ of my work!" His eyes found Dean's and at the moment there wasn't any love that could soothe his anger. Hours spent writing were gone to trash – not to mention he didn't know if he would ever get the laptop to work again to get back all he had saved. "It's your fault!" Sam pointed his finger at Dean, completely enraged. "What am I gonna /do/ now? Just because you don't fucking care about your studies it doesn't mean you can do that to me." Ultimately, he knew that his brother didn't do it on purpose, but it didn't matter. "I'm not gonna risk failing because you were too busy looking at /porn/."

Dean flinched at Sam’s harsh words, mostly because he knew Sam was right. But it wasn’t like his brother had ever sat with him and explained how to be careful with technology before, so he couldn’t be completely blamed, could he? Well, he had messed up big time so yeah, he could be blamed. He saw Sam trying to reset the computer and Dean looked at it anxiously, walking over to where Sam was, still keeping a few steps behind just in case Sam thought he was going to do something to his laptop. When Sam said he had lost what he had written, Dean pursed his lips, licking at it before opening his mouth to speak, but before he could ask Sam if he was certain he had lost it or why he hadn’t saved or sent himself the archive via email, Sam was pointing at him and telling it was his fault. Dean diverted his eyes again, ashamed of fucking it up, but at Sam’s next words, Dean frowned and looked back at Sam. “Wait, what?” Dean said in a mostly controlled voice, because he didn’t want to argue, but he felt anger rising inside him. “I don’t care? I didn’t, that’s true, but I have been studying. I was doing just that in the kitchen a second before you called for me. And if you oughtta know, I’m on the top five of my class now, so fuck you.” Dean didn’t like talking about his classes and what he had to do, but he was doing everything he could. He wanted to make his brother proud of him, he wanted to be able to find a good job once they left Dalton to live together. So hearing Sam say those words, hurt him and he couldn’t accept it because he had changed /because/ of his brother, he was studying and giving his best /because/ of Sammy. “So what I took it to look for porn? As if you never try to look for it!”

Sam couldn't stop to think that he was exaggerating, he only saw the situation as it was: Dean had used his laptop and messed it up, now he had lost hours of work on an important essay. Of course it seemed to him that Dean didn't care about college, at least not enough to be careful with the things they needed to study. Sam was indeed impressed when his brother mentioned being on the top five in his class, but it didn't change the fact that half of his essay was gone. "Well, congratulations." At any other time, the words would be happy and filled with pride, now he only sounded venomous. "At least one of us is having luck with their studies." Sam huffed, trying to press random buttons on the laptop to make it work. He was too angry to take a rational approach, he just needed to turn it back on and see exactly how screwed up he was. "Yeah, but I'm not stupid enough to let it bring up virus! You can't just go to any random site… and you /saw/ it was freezing, why didn't you ask me to see what was wrong? Or tell me that you're incapable of using technology without fucking it up." Sam rolled his eyes, avoiding looking at Dean. "It's /my/ laptop and I don't want you anywhere near it again, do you hear me? I put up with too much from you already, I won't let you ruin my grades too." He started wondering if punching the laptop would do some good. "It's not… working!" Sam grunted, biting his lip. "What if we need to get someone to fix it? What if we /can't/ fix it?"

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat as his hands balled into fists. He thought Sam was being unfair to him, saying all those things. Apparently, if Dean had decided to drop out of college, he’d have had the same reaction out of Sam and now it got him wondering why the hell he was even giving a fuck about school? “It’s not like you didn’t know I was stupid! You could have taught me, you could have showed me how to be careful! Have you considered that I didn’t want to bother you with my incapacities? And that was why I never told you?” They shouldn’t be all worked up over a laptop, although Dean understood how upset Sam might be feeling over losing an essay. But Dean didn’t need to hear all those things, yet when Sam told him not to touch his laptop again, he just nodded dumbly, feeling nothing but disappointment in himself. He closed his eyes to breathe in and out to try to calm himself. “I don’t… I can’t buy you another one. Not right now.” Dean started, trying to find a solution. Fight over it would be useless and if it had been his fault, he should be the responsible for finding a new one. “I’m /sorry/, Sammy, but I don’t have the money to buy you a new one. Or even to fix it. We’re really short on money and I refuse to ask dad for some.” It was his responsibility, anyway. Dean was the one taking care of Sam, making sure his brother had everything he needed. Had he failed his brother? He should have been more careful, both with Sam’s laptop and the money he had saved to pay for books and other school stuff. “Are you /sure/ it’s broken?” Dean asked in a bit of a frenzy, reaching out to try to restart the laptop once more.

Sam rolled his eyes. "What? Do you need me for everything now? You could learn if you really wanted to, I know you're just careless. Don't you dare blame this on me, you're the one messing up with /my/ stuff and I won't tolerate it again." He glared at Dean, too angry to be sympathetic towards him. "But if you're so worried, I can give you a course on not destroying your brother's laptop… if we ever /have/ a working laptop again." As his brother started apologizing, Sam just shook his head. He didn't want to hear any of that. "Don't touch it." He hissed, batting Dean's hand away. The anger was starting to turn into panic. What would they do if they didn't have money to buy another laptop or even repair that one? It wasn't just that essay, Sam had other important stuff saved. Books and papers for class, all the information he'd been gathering on psychic powers, even losing the few pictures he had concerned him. But Dean was right, they couldn't borrow money from dad, and now that they had a real address, they couldn't do the usual credit card scams. He closed the laptop and decided to try again later, when his head wasn't pounding. "What am I gonna do, then?" Sam asked, looking up at his brother with wide eyes. He was more worried about the outcome of not being able to fix his laptop, not whose fault it was. He was despairing now, the rage actually gone. It didn't mean he was forgiving Dean, it was a natural reaction to turn to him when he was vulnerable.

Dean pursed his lips, completely offended by Sam’s words. He should be used to harsh words by now – but then again, hadn’t it been Sammy who had made Dean become such a softie in the first place with his kind words, his hands and lips? Dean took a few steps back, not wanting to be at the vicinity of the laptop anymore. He still didn’t know what to do, though. He could try finding a job, but it would take a few months before he had the money for the laptop. Maybe he could try to hustle more often, but he’d have to go to a different bar every night so he wouldn’t get a bad reputation. In his desperation, he remembered how he gather the money for their college in the first place, and it would be easy and quick to do so. “Sammy, I think I can fix this. If I go back at sleeping with people for money, I can get you a new laptop in… three days or so. I mean, we could check with a professional first if there’s really nothing that could be done for your current one, but if not, we buy a new one.” He was finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. He didn’t expect Sam to be jumping with joy because of a new laptop, after all, it had been all Dean’s fault, but then he wouldn’t need to ruin Sam’s grades because of how careless he was. “Why don’t you try to find out if there’s still hope for your laptop today? I can start making money tonight and if they tell you it can be fixed, it won’t be as expensive as buying a new one and I can work for only a night or two.” Dean wasn’t happy about it. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to do this anymore, not now that they were in college and mainly now that he was in a sexual relationship with his brother. But his priority was to take care of his baby brother, to provide him a good experience in college, paying for everything he needed.

Sam perked up when Dean said he had a way to fix the problem – but nothing could have prepared him for the words that came next. His eyes widened in surprised and he could only stare at Dean. At first Sam tried to convince himself he'd heard it wrong, but his brother kept talking about how many nights he would have to work. He didn't even care about the laptop anymore, a more troublesome concern taking over. "You're not having sex with people for money, Dean, what the hell?" Sam looked horrified and beneath it all there was also a bit of sadness that Dean would even consider that when they were together. But that wasn't the worst part. "And what do you mean /again/? When have you ever…?" He couldn't even say it, feeling sick. He got up and meant to pace around the room, but it did nothing to help his light-headedness. "When did you do it?" Sam asked again, watching Dean with a mixed look of sorrow and disbelief. Sure, they didn't have it easy growing up, but he would never think of /that/ as a possibility. He couldn't imagine why Dean would see it as a solution and talk about it as if there wasn't anything wrong with sleeping with people for money. Sam was disgusted, not by his brother, after all it wasn't that different from knowing that Dean had many partners before him, but over the situation that would have led him to sell his body. "H-how old were you? Did dad know? Why would you even start doing something like that?"

Dean frowned in confusion at Sam’s reaction. To Dean, there was nothing wrong in what he had done. Sure, he didn’t want to do it now, but mostly because he had a partner he wished would be his for the rest of his life, so Dean didn’t need anyone else, but before that, before they started all this, it had been an easy way to find money when dad disappeared and their food was over. So there was nothing wrong with it. Well, maybe there was, because he had been a minor for a couple of times and all of the people who paid to have him were considerably older, but he ended up having sex /and/ receiving money for it, so it was a win-win situation. “I did it a lot of times, why are you so horrified about the idea?” Dean crossed his arms in the defensive. He did not expect for that reaction from Sam and he didn’t know if his brother was regretting everything now – Dean had always known he was a slut but he had never had a problem with that. Maybe Sam had a problem with that, though and now he felt disgusted by it. “Sixteen, I guess? And of course dad didn’t know.” Dean’s frown grew bigger, because really? Their dad would have thrown Dean on the streets had he found out. Yet, this was better than being caught stealing again. “Why do you think? I needed to make sure you had something to eat.” Dean said as if Sam was being particularly dense, as if it was obvious Dean’s reasons to do so. “Why are you acting so weirded out by it?” He waited a full three seconds before continuing. “Do you regret it, Sammy? Do you regret /me/? Is that why you’re uncomfortable? Because you found out just how much of a whore I was before dating you?” Unconsciously, Dean gave two steps back slowly, as if his body was telling him to flee and hide and never come back and all the while his heart was hammering on his chest, desperate to hear what his brother had to say.

Sam shook his head, astonished that Dean couldn't understand his problems with it. He thought it was obvious; finding out that a person close to you had to do something awful for money was a shock. And Dean was saying he started it at /sixteen/, still a minor. That was wrong in every way. "Don't say it as if dad didn't have a responsibility to take care of us, he should have known what was going on, he should have done something! You were just a kid!" Sam protested, thinking it was a good thing that they weren't talking to John or he would feel tempted to confront him about it. How could his brother consider it all normal? Dean's explanation was like a punch to the gut. Sam could have guessed that, but it was still awful to hear it. "So it was because of me." He mumbled, completely lost. "/Dad/ should have given us money, it's his fault if you had to do that, can't you see how screwed up that is? He could get arrested for leaving us alone like that. He probably /should/." The anger was coming up again, but this time it was for much more than a broken laptop. It came from years of frustration and arguments that never failed to make his blood boil. Sam contemplated calling their father just to yell at him, but he would never expose Dean like that. He was ready to say it was obvious he was weirded out, no one deserved a life like that, resorting to letting people treating him like an object so they wouldn't be hungry. What Dean said was completely different, though, and Sam quickly took the couple steps forward to shorten the distance between them. "What? No. God, Dean, you're not a whore. The only thing I regret is not noticing how much you had to give up for me, not fighting for you. You don't /ever/ have to do… do those terrible things to have money for /me/."

Dean hated when Sam spoke badly of John. It was just his instinct as a good son to respect their father and blindly think that he had been right at all times. What made Dean roll his eyes was Sam next words. “I was /never/ a kid, Sam. I have never been one after mom died.” Dean was probably angrier than he should, but he was clearly defensive about that topic. But then Sam looked somehow lost finding out that Dean had done this for him. “Of course it was. Sammy, you know everything I did and still do, it’s because of you. You’re /my/ responsibility, so of course I’ll do whatever I need to make sure you have food in your plate and books to study. I didn’t… I should have bought you a new laptop before coming here, but we’re used to research in books and I didn’t think about the laptop. I’m sorry.” Dean sighed tiredly, frustrated and angry with himself. He should never have mentioned to Sam about his quite alternative job nor should he have used Sam’s computer. Now they were fighting, in this terrible, horrible situation and Dean felt angry and helpless. “Don’t you say that. Dad did everything he could to protect us! Sometimes the money ran out before he was back, but it hadn’t been really a hardship to have sex for money. I’d’ve had sex anyway, getting money out of it was just another upside.” Dean shrugged, not really bothered at it. Dean had never seen the situation as if he was a lost boy in need for money. No, it was like hustling. He knew he was good in it and could get money out of it, so that’s why he did it. He had only thought about it after he had been taken to the boy’s home, because he knew he couldn’t be caught stealing again. The good thing about sleeping with people was that the person involved also didn’t want to get caught, so they always got a consensual agreement. When Sam got closer and told him he was a whore, Dean frowned even more, but kept looking at Sam. “You’re talking as if they were doing something against my will, but /I/ looked for it, Sam. It wasn’t all that horrible. /Now/ I don’t want to do it anymore, but that’s because I’ve got you and I don’t want anyone else. But Sam, it’s the only way to fix your laptop.”

Sam flinched and looked away. He didn't like being reminded that Dean accepted things too easily for their family, giving up on childhood and happiness and then his own /body/ for something that wasn't his duty. "You were still young. You shouldn't have to do that while dad was while, why can't you admit he was /wrong/?" Sam sighed, throwing his hands in the air. "If that's meant to make me feel better, it's not working. I feel like a /burden/ if you had to do all that for me. And no, I didn't need a new laptop that one was fine." And he would make sure to fix it on his own, no matter how long it took. He was smart, he could figure it out. "No, /you/ did everything, even more than you should. Dad did try to protect us from monsters, but he often got distracted and forgot we were just children. He was always putting his crap on your shoulders and you know that!" Sam bit his lip. Being angry at John was easy and he didn't think he was overreacting. The hardships they went through when they were young could have been prevented if their father cared more about their well-being than hunting. He looked up at Dean and frowned. "But they were paying and they could do whatever they wanted, couldn't they? Look me in the eye and say you never got hurt with that." God, Sam desperately wished that his brother was telling the truth, that it wasn't so terrible. But it wasn't the same as choosing their own partners, the power imbalance was always there. He was feeling sick just to imagine it. "You're /not/ doing it again. I can fix the laptop on my own and for now I'm gonna use the computers at the library. Even if I can't fix it, you're more important than a laptop, Dean. But you won't get money by having sex with random people. I mean it, I'll break up with you if you let anyone else touch you like that. Knowing that you did it before doesn't change anything for me, I already knew you had other partners, but it also means that doing it now is cheating and I won't accept it." Sam paused. "You do understand that, right? Sex is important to me. You can call me old-fashioned, but it's true."

Dean embraced whatever was send his way if it was related to family. Mostly, it was due to how much he wanted to make sure Sam and John were safe and alive and healthy, so he didn’t care for the things he had to give up or the sacrifices he had to make for his family. As long as everyone was alright, Dean wouldn’t mind. “Look, Sammy, I just don’t think it’s fair to blame the man. He didn’t even know I was doing that and I only ended up doing it when he wasn’t around.” At Sam’s next words, Dean’s hands unconsciously lifted to reach for Sam’s face, holding him close. “You were never a burden, Sammy. The few times I tried to do something that wasn’t for you, I almost lost you. So stop thinking like that. You’re my baby brother. The moment dad put you in my arms and told me to run out of the house, I knew I would be the one taking care of you forever. That’s my job and I /love/ it, so it’s not a burden at all.” Dean pulled Sam down so he could embrace Sam and kiss his temple. He just wanted to reassure his brother that he shouldn’t feel bad about it, because Dean had always done everything because he wanted, not because it was a job. Dean let go of Sam to look at his eyes as his brother asked. “I never got hurt. You may forget, but I’m an excellent fighter. Once a dude tried to be funny, but I knocked him out and stole all the money he had in his wallet, but apart from that, I’ve never had a problem with who were paying. I set down my rules, Sammy, it wasn’t about what they wanted, it was about what I was willing to give them.” Dean tried his best not to sound as crass as he first imagined it, but Sam didn’t need to know about the details of the things he had done for money. However, Dean was taken completely off guard by Sam’s next words, and by the end of it he had his eyes wide, mouth pursed in a thin line. “I would never be unfaithful, Sammy. I considered doing it now not because I want to have sex with other people, but because I thought it would be only about the money, but… If you don’t want it, I won’t do it.” He petted Sam’s hair with one hand, eyes still locked with his brother’s. “But I said I’d fix it, so I’ll find a way to do so. Gimme a week, okay? I promise no sex with other people will be involved, but I messed up, I’ll fix it.” Dean said with determination.

Sam rolled his eyes, not even bothering to be discreet. He was tired of Dean turning a blind eye to all the things that were wrong with their family. Of course he didn't want to be mad at John all the time, but he couldn't accept it quietly like Dean did. "Exactly, he didn't know. Because you never told him we needed more time. He should have known that we needed him, you might think it's your job to take care of me, but /he/ was responsible. At any other family, he could have lost us. Wiping out the evil from the whole world isn't more important than someone's own children." Sam stated firmly, showing once more that he wouldn't change his mind on that. He let out a shaky breath Dean cradled his head. The sweet words got to him, but he still felt bad. "I know that. And I'll be forever grateful for your love, but I don't like the thought of you doing… those things because you were desperate for money. You shouldn't have to go through that." Sam shook his head, holding his brother close. Whatever Dean decided to do were his own choices, the problem was that he was driven to do it because they didn't have money and it became so natural that he was considering it again. It /shouldn't/ be natural. Sam hated that Dean had lost all of his innocence to that terrible lifestyle they had. Even though Dean said he'd never been hurt, there was something inherently invasive about it. What did you have when your own body was objectified? Sam tried a small smile, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. He nodded slowly, taking one of his brother's hand to squeeze it tightly. "It's not just about the money for me. I don't want to think you'll let other people… don't do it, that's all." Sam repeated. "God, forget about the laptop, I'll see what I can do later. Where would you get the money anyway? I won't accept anything if I don't know what you're doing."

Dean couldn’t understand how this was John’s fault if it had been Dean’s choice, his idea to find money. Sure, dad would have skinned him alive had he ever found out, but in the end, it had been Dean’s decision. “I’m sorry, Sammy, but I won’t blame dad. Not for this at least. Yeah, he might have done a few mistakes as we grew up, but he wasn’t that bad. He did protect us and taught us everything we needed to know about how to kill monsters and protect ourselves, from monsters /and/ people. We also turned out okay, so we can’t say he was a terrible father.” Dean remembered of Max then, of how his father had become a drunk bastard who’d hit his own son in a manner to cope with his wife’s death. Dad could be way too obsessed with Mary’s killer, but at least he had tried to raise his kids properly. John wasn’t a saint, but he wasn’t even half as bad as many parents out there. “Sam, please understand that having sex with people was something I always did. Getting money out of it was a plus, honestly. It /wasn’t/ the worst thing to ever happen to me.” Leaving the boy’s home he had lived for two months had been a real sacrifice for Dean, he hadn’t wanted to leave, but just looking at Sam out of the window that night, his choice had been made. So really, having sex for money was /nothing/ compared to that. “You always say that I have to make my own decisions, but all of them, everything I did for you, it was because I wanted it, not because I felt forced to do it, okay? So stop. You know I’d do anything for you, so don’t be upset about my decisions. Even if I get sad over something, it wouldn’t be as close as I’d be if I lost you.” He opened a reassuring smile at Sammy, squeezing Sam’s hand back. “I won’t.” He promised, bringing Sam for yet another hug, giving a quick peck on Sam’s lips. “I have no idea yet. Maybe I’ll hustle? I guess I can hit a few bars every night and get some money. Or I can ask someone to help with the expanses and I can find a job and pay them later.” Dean considered his options, wondering what would be best. He considered starting a job regardless, because it would be a good way to save even more money and it would be an honest way to do so.

Sam huffed loudly. The argument wouldn't lead them anywhere, even though he tried his best to stick into Dean's thick skull that John wasn't exactly father of the year. He would always be bitter about their childhood and every time he learned that Dean had sacrificed yet another thing, his anger arose. "No, but there was a lot more he could have done. He took too much from us, Dean, from /you/ the most. But if you can't see that, at least let me make sure you don't have to give up on everything for me." Sam was almost pleading, because he knew it wasn't easy for his brother to accept that. He would do it anyway. He was going after a normal life and now that they had established they would stay together, he'd provide Dean with everything he needed. Sam raised an eyebrow, unable to ask what Dean considered as worst things, because he was sure that prostitution couldn't be that easy. Yet he knew that if he kept questioning, Dean would reply the same thing. "Yeah, I get it, you'd do anything for me. It's always been like that, I don't doubt it. What I'm saying is that I don't /want/ you to put my needs before yours. It's impossible to change your mind, though." Sam sighed. "I can't lose you either, so of course I get worried when you do things that might be risky." It was a relief when Dean confirmed he wouldn't do it. He fell into his brother's embrace and stayed there, wishing he could have been more attentive to where their money came from. "Yeah, that sounds good. I was already thinking about getting a job, but now I'm sure I should. Just part-time." Sam added before Dean could protest. "Nothing that would get in the way, but I need to help, to get money for my own things."

Dean sighed, bringing a hand to run over his face. If dad had taken too much from Dean, he should be the one complaining, but he wasn’t, so Sam should stop worrying. Or continue rebelling because of himself, but not involving Dean. “What does that even mean? How are you gonna do that?” Dean asked, looking up at his brother with an arched eyebrow. Dean had trouble accepting that people could take care of him and although he had been trying to accept it from Sam, it still sounded foreign to let anyone care for him. When Sam said he didn’t want Dean to put his brother’s needs in front of his, he frowned, as if Sam was completely insane. Good thing that Sam knew he couldn’t change his mind, because it wasn’t feasible for Dean to put anything, not even his own needs, in front of Sam’s. “I fought /monsters/, Sam, so I honestly think that even if I try doing something a little risky, it wouldn’t be as bad as that, right?” He tried for a smile, trying to ease the remaining tension between them. At Sam’s suggestion, Dean nodded. He didn’t know much about himself, though, because a part-time job would never cover for a new laptop. Maybe the best option would be to find a normal job for himself and go back to missing classes and being absent – it wouldn’t matter, anyway. “Maybe you should check with the school. Don’t they have internships or part-time jobs for students? Maybe you could help in the library or something like that.” Dean suggested. Working inside campus would be even better than having to go to town for only half the day. That way Sam would have time to go to all his classes and work and don’t be late for anything – the school would also know his schedule so they wouldn’t give him a job that would interfere with his classes. Dean would go to town soon to try to find a job.

Sam looked Dean over, unable to hide the sadness in his eyes. "The same way you've always done for me. I'm old enough to be responsible and I can tell when things aren't going well. I'm not studying just for myself, I'm doing it for /us/ now. If I can grant us a bit of stability, that's what I'm going to do, and I don't mind working hard for that." Sam said without any hesitation. He would do it whether or not Dean accepted being taken care of. They could keep the same dynamics, he would always be the little brother after all, but he was grown up and could take on more responsibilities for both of them. Maybe then he wouldn't sound so selfish when he talked about having a normal life. "And I got worried whenever you want to hunt with dad. When I say risky situations, I mean all those. I don't want you to resort to weird jobs." Sam had to say it, because even if his brother promised he wouldn't go back to prostitution, there were also many other bad options. "Hmm, yeah I could try." He hummed at Dean's suggestion. "That would be ideal, but I'm not sure I can try those as a freshman. And even then, upperclassmen have an advantage." Sam shrugged. He would look that up on the next week. He was raised as a hunter, he could adapt to the hardships of life. It would be better to have more money now than having to abandon college later. As for the laptop, Sam turned to it and sighed. He wasn't so angry anymore, he could try to fix it patiently later. But there was still something bugging his mind. "I can't stop thinking…" He bit his lip, sitting down on the bed. "How did you begin doing it? I mean, did you know someone that offered?"

Dean blinked a couple of times, not really impressed. “I mean… Yeah, okay, I get it. But this has been your plan all along. Not because of me or us, but because of /you/. Even if we weren’t together and you had gone to college alone, that’s still what you’d do. I know you’re focused on us now, but you’re not really giving up anything in your life because of me. Not that I wish for you to do so, in fact I’d rather things continued like that. But regardless of me being with you, you’d still do it.” Dean was simply pointing a few things out. He didn’t feel upset about it or thought that Sam had to sacrifice things for him, but he still couldn’t understand what Sam meant by that. In the end, Sam was much more like John than he wanted to admit. Both of them did what they wanted because they thought it would be best for the people they loved, but in the end they’d do it anyway, with or without anyone with them. And Dean honestly didn’t mind. He wanted for all of them to be happy and he would do whatever it took to make it become reality. He didn’t judge Sammy for thinking like that, just like he didn’t judge their father. “I know you do, but you really don’t need to worry, I know how to take care of myself.” Dean smiled, reassuring Sam that he knew what he was doing, even though he wasn’t going to sell his body or hunt again. “But you’re a huge nerd, I’m sure they’ll consider you more than other. Besides, you’re human and I know they’d rather give interships and jobs to humans than to monsters, so check it out later, but I’m sure you’ll find something soon.” He looked at Sam’s laptop when Sam did, pursing his lips in shame for screwing up Sam’s computer. But then Sam was asking him how he started with the prostitution – even though he hated to call it that – and Dean followed him to sit on the bed. “I actually…” Dean looked at the floor, elbows resting on his thighs. “I had been thinking about it for a while, but I had no idea how to actually do it. So once we ran out of food and I went to a grocery shop, but the clerk was looking at me and I knew I couldn’t steal anything without being caught, and I couldn’t go through that again. So I went to a bar not too far from there, but didn’t go in. I was still a minor, after all, and didn’t want to call so much attention. I didn’t know what I was doing or how I was going to do it, but next thing I knew, there was this woman who was probably in her late thirties asking me if I’d go with her to have sex because she liked pretty looking boys and I said I would if she paid. She gave me the money right there and then I followed her back to her place. Afterwards, I went back to the grocery store and bought dinner. You were bitching a lot once I got back to the motel, but I was just glad you were going to have something to eat that I didn’t mind.”

Sam frowned at that. He wasn't sure why Dean was pointing that out, if he should feel guilty for not sacrificing more. Did Dean really believe he /wouldn't/ give everything up for him too? "I would if I had to." Sam replied, not hiding that he was wounded by those words. He desperately wanted his brother to see that he serious about it. "I would do more if I knew you needed me, so I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner." He looked away, not knowing what else to say. He simply nodded when Dean said he could take care of himself. Yeah, Sam didn't doubt that, but he was always saying the same and no one listened to him. He was perfectly capable of protecting himself /and/ his loved ones, if only he was given a chance. "I can't say I'm not a nerd, but my status as human as bit problematic at the moment." Sam mumbled, part of him hoping that Dean wouldn't hear because it could lead to another pointless discussion. It was the truth, anyway. He didn't know why he had psychic powers or how the yellow-eyed demon fit into the whole story. But his day was already crappy enough, he didn't need to worry about that as well. Sam was enthralled as his brother replied to the question. He thought he would regret asking, but he felt like he needed to know. It didn't sound physically harmful, but he didn't know anything about the emotional damage. Not that he could ask Dean anyway, he would say it was fine and that he didn't mind it. It was frustrating. Now Sam was thinking of other nights Dean had disappeared for too long and wondered if it had been because of this… alternative work. He shook his head, as if that would stop his self-torture. "I didn't know what you were doing." Of course not, Sam would have thrown a fit if he knew that's how they got money when dad left them for too long. "And I reiterate that you shouldn't have resorted to that."

Dean noticed his words didn’t work as he planned when Sam frowned. It was the puppy face he did when he was upset and Dean cursed himself internally for being so tactless. “I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, Sammy. I’ve always thought it was wonderful that you have your ambitions and dreams and you’ll do anything to get them. I think that’s a great trait and I want you to keep being like that. And while you’re pursuing your dream of stability and of being a lawyer, being normal, I’ll be doing /my/ job, that is taking care of you. See, there’s nothing wrong with that.” And Dean really meant it. To make his point, Dean smiled warmly at his brother, hoping he could see that he was being honest. However, Sam’s next words made the smile quickly vanish from his face. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing – even though Sam had spoken in such a hushed voice – and it was his time to frown. “What do you mean? Fuck, Sam, I know the situation with the visions and with the moving gun and the freaking demon is weird as fuck, but it doesn’t mean you’re not a human. Don’t even joke about that.” How could Sam even say something like that? Sammy was his perfect little brother and he was human and Dean would fight anyone who tried to change that. He wouldn’t become a monster because Dean had his back at all times. Dean clenched his teeth, upset and angry, wondering how a normal afternoon had turned into this massive mess. It had been his fault, he knew it, and apparently he couldn’t do a single thing right. “And I wish you had never found out. Not even now. I’m sorry.” Because although Dean didn’t think he had acted wrong in trying to find any resource to feed Sammy, he realized how Sam was upset about it. He shouldn’t be though. It wasn’t like Dean’s every escapade for sex resulted in him getting money out of it. In fact, more times he’d do it for free because he just wanted to have sex, but when the things were a bit tight, he’d resort to that. “Can we just move on? I did it, I’m not doing it again, you’re pissed, and it doesn’t matter what I say, it won’t change what happened.”

Sam watched Dean carefully, looking for signs that he didn't mean it. His ambitions and dreams were the reason he was called selfish sometimes, he didn't know if Dean really thought it was a great trait. However, he was taking any kind words at the moment, just trying to feel better. "No, there isn't." Sam smiled too and it looked like everything was alright, until his brother heard his quiet voice. He blushed, trying to come up with a good excuse to avoid the argument. He was indeed worried about it and with Dean's reaction he also worried if their love would stay the same if they found he was something else… something non-human. It would be a shock to Sam, as he was raised to hunt monsters, but he didn't know if Dean would look at him the same way. The thought frightened him and he prayed that the weird instincts making him doubt his own humanity were wrong. "It's nothing. Of course I'm human, being psychic doesn't change that." Sam replied. It was the same thing he told himself over and over when he was freaking out about it. He sighed when Dean apologized. "Oh no, I'm glad I found out. I hate it when you keep secrets from me. Especially when those secrets involve something bad happening to you." Moving on seemed like a good idea, but he wouldn't forget that. "I'm not pissed." Sam paused and shrugged. "Okay, maybe a little, but not at you. You're right, though, we can't change the past." He brought Dean in for a long, reassuring kiss with a hand on his neck. "You're mine now, only mine. Nothing else matters."

Dean beamed when Sam agreed with him. He didn’t like arguing with Sam, mainly when he saddened his brother with his words. It felt good to have at least one of the discussions solved. Before he could relish the moment, Dean noticed Sam’s posture and Dean got serious as well. If this became an argument, Dean wouldn’t be able to hold himself back, because he couldn’t accept the idea of Sam being anything but himself. But fortunately, Sam was agreeing to him and Dean felt himself relax, not even realizing how tense he had been over that one sentence. “It sure doesn’t. And if anyone tries touching you to turn you into something, I’ll kill them before they get within three feet from you.” Dean smirked, trying to once more ease the conversation. Hopefully this wouldn’t turn into a discussion. “Sammy, have you ever thought that if someone has a secret, it’s better for it to /remain/ a secret? You don’t need to know every detail of what I’ve done in my life.” Because there were things Dean didn’t want to share, like his mother – he didn’t dare bring her up since last time, and he doubted he’d say that again – or the many times John had physically harmed him or even the good moments in his life that had made him question his dad. All those things, Sam didn’t need to know. “Please, stop being pissed at dad.” Dean said with an eyeroll. “I swear to God, the guy will blink and you’ll get pissed because he blinked too fast or something.” Before he could say anything else, Sam was pulling him for a kiss, and Dean was never one to deny a kiss from his baby brother, so he went willingly, resting his hands on Sam’s thighs. “I am. I’ll always be yours. And as long as you have me, everything will be okay.” Dean smiled before kissing Sam once more, deepening it a bit before breaking the kiss with a mischievous smile. “So, wanna have sex now?”

Sam relaxed upon noticing that they were resolving their issues without a fight. Or without continuing a fight, because they had started it pretty heavily earlier. He had to chuckle at Dean's words, knowing that any monster would be stupid for trying to turn him and risk the wrath of a skilled hunter. Sam himself didn't make threats around the school, but Dean wasn't exactly friendly and people knew they were brothers. "I bet you will." He smiled. Apparently threatening to kill people was a love confession between them. Sam wasn't surprised. He rolled his eyes when his brother started a boring speech about secrets. "We shouldn't hide anything from each other." He said, although he couldn't preach. He had hidden many things from Dean before. In his defense, he was trying to change. Sam only kept secrets when he was afraid of the reaction. He truly believed that they shouldn't, though, especially because of their recent relationship. "I never get pissed without a reason." Sam replied defensively. Okay, maybe he was a bit harsh on dad, but it was only because Dean was /too/ obedient. It annoyed him and he felt like fighting for both of them all the time. "I get pissed when he doesn't do what he's supposed to. Somebody has to speak up." Well, they weren't even talking to John so it didn't change anything. Sam's mood was improving considerably as he remembered he was the only one who had his brother now. Even then, he was surprised at Dean's suggestion. "I love your constant eagerness to have sex with me." Sam opened up a fond smile and considered the option with a soft hum. "And yeah, I might have better luck with the laptop after an orgasm." He wrapped an arm around Dean and dragged him down on the mattress. "Is this considered makeup sex?"

Dean chuckled, glad that Sam agreed that he would kill anyone who tried to as much as touch him. It wouldn’t be a surprise if Dean killed a monster, /mainly/ if said monster tried to kill or turn his brother. They knew how to kill those monsters so the threats were very real. “Let’s just agree to disagree then.” Dean shrugged, really not wanting to have that discussion. He still had many secrets and while they were completely harmless, Dean didn’t want to share them, not even with his brother. And he’d keep them, Sam liking it or not. He agreed that if it was something serious, like Sam’s dreams and visions or Dean’s discoveries about any lead, they should share it with one another, but there were other things, too intimate, too precious to be shared. Dean hoped Sam could understand that. “You totally do. Sometimes I don’t even know why you two are fighting over, it sucks. I know he likes a fight just as much as you and that’s why you keep fighting, but dad’s not here, okay? So you don’t need to get pissed with him. Remember when I told you to take all the anger and put it into something more useful, like sex?” Dean smirked at his own words, but he was being serious. When it wasn’t Sam talking about his dad, it was the other way around and Dean was always in the middle, listening and trying to calm them down, trying to put an end to their fights. “How could I not be eager? Wanna put a mirror on the ceiling so you can understand why I get all hot and bothered by you?” Dean chuckled, going with Sam down to the mattress. He then smirked at Sam’s next question. “Yeah, it could be. Y’know what else could be considered makeup sex? If you had to punish me for messing with your stuff.” Dean honestly didn’t think that through, though, but the idea seemed hot in his mind. Yeah, he had been studying and should be finding a way to fix Sam’s laptop, just as Sam should probably rewrite his essay, but they hadn’t had sex yet and Dean could see this happening in many different ways.

Sam didn't like that idea very much, but it was better than continuing a stupid discussion. He was always called out on his stubbornness but Dean wasn't that far behind at all. He had no choice but to shrug and accept his brother's privacy. If it ever turned into something remotely bad for them, Sam would protest. "He pisses me off, I disappoint him, it's a neverending cycle." He waved a hand around, as if to how his fights with John worked. He had to admit that sometimes he didn't even know why he was so angry, but it had always been like that. They disagreed on too many things. Sam could see how difficult it was for Dean to stay in the crossfire and not pick a side. And yeah, John wasn't there, so why bother? "Well, that's something I can do." Sam grinned. He didn't think he'd want to have sex after his laptop went crazy and he didn't even know how much of his essay he still had, but after everything he found out that day he needed to have Dean as close as possible. "Damn, a mirror on the ceiling actually sounds good." Sam commented, sounding more dreamy than mocking. Then his brother was talking about being punished and his eyes widened. "Wow, that's…" He licked his lips. It was too hot for his own good but he didn't want to go overboard and lash out on Dean for real. "But it will be more of a roleplay, right? Like when you did it to me. 'Cause I'm not mad and I certainly don't wanna hurt you." Sam said, deciding it was better to say it right away, before they got too much into it. "That being said, I think I should spank you. And you haven't used the gag yet, have you?"

Dean rolled his eyes, snickering at his brother. “It’s not about you disappointing him. I honestly think it came to a point where you two just butt head because it’s how you’ve learnt how to deal with each other.” Dean paused for a moment but then smirked. “Good thing you two have me in your lives to calm the shit out of you, otherwise you’d have killed each other by now.” Dean hoped that he was wrong, of course but he was just partially kidding. However, his comment about Sam conveying all this anger and energy into sex resulted in just what Dean wanted, which made him smirk even broader. “Good I can help.” He winked, licking his lips wantonly. But then Sam was enthralled by the idea of having a mirror in the ceiling and Dean needed to make that happen because it would be so fucking hot. He needed a job first /and/ to fix Sam’s laptop – or buy him a new one. “First, you are mad. I know you’ll get mad again when you stop to think about it and I honestly don’t care if you use this as a way to feel better about what I’ve done.” Dean commented, being truly honest. “Second, you can hit me as hard as you want, baby brother, I want to have as many marks over my whole body as you can make.” Again, he was being sincere and he even needed a moment to lick his own lips and breathe instead of just jumping on his brother. “You can gag me if you want. Even tie me up. Just don’t… you know.” Dean moved a hand towards his face, as if meaning the blindfold, but he was still embarrassed about that day. “I know I’ll love whatever you do to me.” Dean smirked mischievously once more before pulling Sam for a deep and frantic kiss.

Sam shrugged. Well, it could be that, but he also had a way of doing the exact opposite of what John wanted them to do and it qualified him as a disappointment in that family. Any other father would be proud of him for pursuing his studies. But lingering on that would only make Sam bitter. "Yeah, I'm glad to have you." He said with a smile, meaning much more than Dean's ability to tune down the family drama. It was much better to channel his anger into something pleasurable, as they intended to do, but Dean's answer made him frown slightly. "I /was/ mad. It's pretty frustrating to lose what you're writing…" Sam trailed off. His brother was right, he would turn mad again if he thought too much about it. "I can use that as stress relief, but I don't want to actually punish you. It doesn't seem like something that belongs in our bedroom." Even when it was intense, they found a way to make it playful as well. Sam couldn't do it if it turned out to be more about the broken laptop than their pleasure. "I'm not hurting you either. I can go rough and leave marks, but I don't want to actually hurt you. And you'll /have/ to tell me if I do. You might think you deserve it or something, but it's not what I do." He hoped Dean could understand that his limits were mostly about what he inflicted. Sam nodded without a word, already keeping in mind that he couldn't use a blindfold. He kissed back hungrily, reveling in Dean's complete faith in him. He felt like he should do more, cherish his brother as he deserved now that he knew that Dean had slept with people for money. "Let's get your collar and the gag. But I'm not gonna tie you up, you have to learn how to keep your hands in control on your own."

Dean blushed slightly, noticing that Sam meant much more than just because he could appease the moods in their family. He kept his smile though, but now it was more happy than smug. When Sam noticed Dean was right, he only laughed, shaking his head. He did know his brother better than anyone else in the world, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that he knew Sam would still be mad about the laptop. At least he wasn’t thinking about that /now/. Well, after they had sex, Dean could try slipping out of their dorm to find a way to find money and leave Sam and his wrath alone. He /would/ fix the laptop, though, it didn’t matter what he needed to do. “You’re right.” Dean agreed when Sam mentioned that real punishment shouldn’t be involved with their sexual relationship. “But remember that unless it hurts in a bad way, I won’t complain about it, okay?” Because Dean quite liked feeling pain during sex, but all depended on the pain, of course. But he liked when hard bites and strong hands used his body, leaving marks and an ache that would last a couple of days. So when Sam kissed back just as enthusiastically, Dean gave as hard as he got. He was already hard just from their kiss – even though they both knew it didn’t take Dean much to get aroused, but seeing how invested Sam was in it was always a good reminder that his brother wanted this just as much as Dean did. When Sam told Dean he wouldn’t be tied up but he’d have to keep his hands to himself, Dean groaned in delight. “Is that an order?” Dean basically purred against Sam’s jaw as he started mouthing at it. “If I snap my fingers, I want you to stop, okay?” He whispered against Sam’s skin since he’d have the gag in his mouth and he wouldn’t be able to speak. He could always punch, slap or hit Sam since he wouldn’t be tied up, but things seemed more serious and professional if he just snapped his fingers. “Should I call you my Master and beg for your forgiveness before you gag me?” Dean teased as he licked and sucked a new hickey on Sam’s neck.

Sam felt his heart warm at the blush on Dean's cheeks. Their smiles were a sign that things were getting better and he was more interested in that than the laptop. Well, he'd eventually deal with that, but first it was time to fix their relationship. "I'm always right." Sam replied smugly. He was glad that Dean agreed to it; he didn't know if he would want to inflict a punishment over something that had made them argue for real. He could use it to ease out the tension, but not for vengeance. Sam sighed when his brother said he would only say something if it hurt badly. "That's alright. I know what you like." He was also reassuring himself with that. They liked it rough, but he always paid attention if his eagerness would hurt Dean. "Yes, it's an order." Sam's voice was firm, already bringing him to the state of mind he had to be to dominate Dean. "Snapping your fingers, okay." He breathed out, closing his eyes. "You can always hit me and I'll stop right away. I don't want you to move your hands for anything else." They had never done that and Sam was very excited to see how his brother would control himself. As it was, Dean was still too provoking. He knew how to tease without being disobedient, that drove Sam crazy. He moaned and tried to recompose himself, even though his breathing quickened. "You can try. I'll only forgive you when I think you deserve that much. And while I love the sound of your voice, I think it's time you stop running your mouth." Sam smirked, his own words giving him confidence to pull away from Dean. He went to get what they needed, setting the gag down on the bed while he held the dark green collar. "This one first." He explained, raising his hands. Sam fastened the collar around his brother's neck, fingertips brushing over the leather when it was done. "Last chance to say anything."

Dean laughed and rolled his eyes at Sam’s comment. Dean could point out that as the oldest brother, he was the one who was always right, but he let Sam think like that – mainly because this time his little brother had been right. “I know you do.” Dean answered, with still a smile on his face. In the end, they had great synch when it came to sexual things, so it was clear that by now, Sam knew what he liked. And just to make his point, Sam agreed that he was ordering Dean, which resulted in a full body shiver from Dean. God, he loved this and he wanted to start humping Sammy in that exact moment, but he want to tease Sam first, wanted to make Sam just take instead of being all controlled. “What’s the fun in that, though? I’ll snap my fingers.” Dean said once more, needing for Sam to understand that it was just another form of submitting, asking for Sam to stop with an agreement and not with his physical strength – but that’s only because he knew Sam would stop, otherwise he could agree in hitting or kicking Sam. Also, the idea of having to keep his hands still, not being able to touch Sam or himself, was fascinating and Dean had no idea if he’d be able to follow through but he was enjoying the idea far too much. “Hm, I think I won’t ask for your forgiveness.” Dean started speaking as Sam stood up. He made quick work of taking his t-shirt off and then his jeans, but he kept the underwear because he didn’t know if Sam wanted him completely naked right about now. “I think I’ll be a bit of a rebel.” Dean winked when Sam got closer, but as soon as Sam raised the collar, Dean raised his head in a way that would make it easier for Sam to put the collar on. He could say he was going to rebel or be difficult, but he knew he would end up doing exactly what Sam wanted him to. When he was already with the collar, Sam prompted Dean to speak one last time before he was gagged and Dean only smirked mischievously. “You have what it takes to punish me, Sammy? Can you put me in line? I don’t think you do.” Dean teased, wanting to lure Sam to be rough with him. But not because he thought he deserved it or because he wanted to feel pain, but because it would be the first time they did it like this and Dean was too ecstatic. Then, without anything else to add, Dean opened his mouth wantonly, waiting for the gag as he looked at Sam from under his eyelashes.

Sam opened up a big smile. It was so good to see Dean trusting and relying on him. Not that it was rare, but Dean had every reason to push him away after his burst of anger. More than using sex to burn off all that energy, Sam wanted it to be a way to make it up to his brother. This was his own attempt to be forgiven, although he wouldn't say it out loud. Doing things in practice always seemed to get Dean's attention easier than talking. "And I'll stop. I'm just saying I won't be mad if you move because something's wrong." Sam reiterated. He usually lost control during sex and this would definitely be the right situation for that, he didn't want to get so far into it that he wouldn't notice Dean's sign. He doubted it could happen, but better safe than sorry, right? Sam raised his eyebrows as his brother stated he wouldn't ask for forgiveness. It was actually a bit endearing to think of Dean rebelling, but if the way he promptly accepted the collar was anything to go by, Sam doubted he would have to deal with disobedience. He realized pretty soon that Dean was doing it to tease him, to bring up his instincts to control. He had to admit it was working. Sam's eyes darkened at the blatant provocation, never expecting that from Dean. "Oh, I'll show I can put you where you belong. And you're gonna love it." His voice dropped as he talked, finishing off in a growl right next to Dean's ear. Sam pulled back and their mouths were too close, but he just breathed heavily before grabbing the gag. He tried not to fumble with it and apparently he had some luck left because he was able to put it on Dean without much trouble. He secured the gag and checked if it didn't seem uncomfortable in any way. "Okay, then, let's see where I want you." They could use the bed, but Sam was still thinking about using a mirror. They didn't have it on the ceiling but there was a full-length one on the wall. Sam smirked and pulled his brother up to his feet. He took the comfortable chair he'd been using by the desk and brought it closer to the mirror. Sitting down, he pulled Dean to straddle his lap, facing him but with his back to the mirror. "Well, this is good, isn't it?" He grinned. "Put your hands up on the back of the chair."

Dean glared at his brother for a moment before sighing and nodding. He understood and respected that Sam was willing to let him ‘break the rules’ if it was too much, but Dean trusted his brother. /If/ it was necessary, Dean would accept Sam’s point and pull him, hit him or something, otherwise, he’d behave properly, following the rules and only snapping his fingers to show that he wanted to stop. For now, he’d focus on the sex, though, and on what they were going to do. He loved how Sammy’s eyes darkened in result of his teasing, and his promise that Dean would love it made Dean moan from deep of his throat. Some time later, though, Sam was putting the gag in his mouth and Dean tested it by licking the ball and trying to close his mouth around it, but the ball wouldn’t budge. Dean’s own eyes darkened then, seeing that the gag was well held around his mouth and it wouldn’t matter if Dean tried to tease Sam more, because it wouldn’t work. Dean waited on the bed as Sam thought what he wanted to do and he frowned in confusion when Sam pulled him out of the bed and then arranged the chair, sitting on it and making Dean straddle his lap. Okay, it was nice. They hadn’t done anything like that so far, so yeah, it was good. But Dean thought he was going to be spanked? When Sam asked if it was good, Dean only arched one eyebrow, clearly showing him that he was confused as hell, but when Sam ordered him to put his hands on the back of the chair, Dean complied easily – it wasn’t like Dean disliked Sam’s idea or anything, but he was caught off guard and didn’t know what they were about to do. Dean was far from complaining, of course. Even though he had said he’d rebel, it had been before, when he thought Sam would spank him on the bed. Now that they were on the chair, though, he could only obey his brother – which he loved doing anyway.

Sam knew he wouldn't have any problems with getting Dean to behave, that's why he didn't mind the little attempts at disobeying the rules. It only made his role more interesting to play. He had his tricks to deal with Dean and it was good to see the reaction he got with just words. Imagine how it would be when he started touching. Sam smiled playfully at his brother's confusion. He got to add a bit of surprise to the mix, that was good. "I want to see you on the mirror." He explained, eyes inevitably drifting off to the refection of Dean's back. It allowed Sam to see everything, depending on what he wanted. When he turned back to Dean's face, he was enthralled by the sight of him wearing a gag. It had been wonderful on his turn, but he loved how it looked on the mouth he loved so much. Without thinking much about it, Sam licked up from Dean's bottom lip and over the ball of the gag, the closest thing to a kiss. He was already hard and his cock twitched in his pants at that. And they hadn't even /begun/ the fun part yet. Thinking he should change that, Sam brought his palm down on his brother's right ass cheek, still over the underwear. It was perhaps too light, but he was testing and he didn't want to begin with full force. He kneaded it afterwards, arranging Dean to a position where he was mostly perked up on Sam's knees. "Do you know why I'm doing this?" It was rhetorical, of course, considering it was obvious that Dean knew and he couldn't really talk. "You need to learn not to put your hands on what doesn't belong to you. And not to hide from me what you did wrong, that's /unacceptable/." Sam punctuated the word with a sharper slap to the other cheek. "I just don't think you're a good pet anymore, you should convince me you still deserve to be mine." Pulling Dean's boxers down, Sam looked into his eyes. "Get up to pull that off. Don't use your hands."

Dean hadn’t even noticed the reason why Sam had repositioned the chair. Now, looking over his shoulder quickly, he could see that yeah, they were right in front of the mirror, and he realized he looked hot like that. His baby brother deserved positive points for his idea. Just a few seconds after he looked, he looked back at Sam so he wouldn’t strain his neck or be admonished for looking. Dean blinked a couple of times and then moaned when Sam licked his lip and then the gag and it shouldn’t be so erotic, but it was and Dean wanted more – not that he could ask for it, though. Sam’s cock felt hard and hot – and way too strained under so many layers – and Dean was about to thrust his hips against Sam’s when a hand hit his ass. It hadn’t been hard and it hadn’t hurt, but Dean was taken by surprise, yelping around the gag at the feeling. He stared wide-eyed to Sam, but in his eyes Sam could only see the blackness of his dilated pupil due to arousal. At Sam’s question, Dean only stared at him, still stuck at being a rebel and not submitting easy, but Sam’s words were enough to make his cock twitch and a low moan escape – just to be barred by the gag. Dean wanted to ask him if jerking off meant ‘putting his hands on what belonged to Sam’, but the gag made it impossible. Not that he would jerk off now, though. Now he had to keep his hands to himself. At the second slap, Dean moaned louder, but it was still too muffled by the gag, and it honestly only made Dean even more aroused. Dean whimpered at Sam’s words, as if begging him to praise him, his whole plan of being disobedient or maybe rebel a little bit turning to ashes. But then Sam was asking the impossible and Dean glared at him again before standing up. He looked down at his boxers that still covered his cock, but had his ass free and he looked at Sam’s lap. In a moment, Dean was sitting on Sam’s lap and squirming, moving his hips wantonly and erotically, all the while Dean was groaning and getting even more aroused as the underwear slowly started to be dragged down. When it was mid-thigh, though, Dean had to stop just to breathe, considering asking Sam to take it out for him, but he wanted to be praised, so he continued a moment after. It took too damn long until his underwear was above his knee and he could just stand up and let the garment fall to the floor. Then he returned to his position on Sam’s lap, straddling him.

Sam realized that not being able to kiss his brother was a downside to the gag, but the sight of it was so hot that he could let it slide. The sounds Dean made were muffled by the ball and it was just as good as hearing them unrestrained. Sam felt completely in control, able to bring out exactly the reactions he wanted to. He reveled in the look of surprise on Dean's face at the first slap, but then it was his turn to be confused. If not for his brother's moan, Sam would have thought he wasn't doing it right. Well, he didn't think Dean could hold his gaze for too long. Or at least he would make it damn hard for him to do it. Sam noticed the moment Dean's resolve wavered, replaced with the need to be praised. Again, he felt smug for knowing what to do. He never really meant to make Dean feel bad, just prompt him to /show/ that he could be good and obedient. "Hmm, I don't think I like that glare." Sam scrunched up his nose, shaking his head disapprovingly. But before he could do anything else, his brother found a way to follow his order. He sucked in a sharp breath, eyes dark and hungry as he watched Dean squirm on top of him, pretty much like a lap dance. Sam was still fully clothed, but sometimes Dean's hips would brush against his and he could feel the heat and pressure on his cock. He bit back a groan, just staring at Dean when he was done. "That was… impressive." Sam cleared his throat, as if to get back control of his voice. "I'm proud of you, doing what I tell you." He hummed, kissing up his brother's neck. "Although I know how much you enjoyed your little trick, rolling your hips on my lap. You can't do that again. Be good and I'll reward you later, your punishment isn't over." Sam straightened up, offering a small smile before he turned his eyes to the mirror. He slapped Dean's ass on each cheek, harder this time, and watched as color began to rise on the skin.

Dean wanted to reply to Sam that the idea /was/ for him to dislike the glare. Hopefully it would lure his brother to punish him already and be rough with him instead of asking him to do crazy, impossible things. They could be already in the spanking – because only two slaps obviously didn’t count, at least Dean hoped so – but instead Sam was /teasing/ him. Dean was torn between enjoying it or being displeased by it, but Sam always managed a way to do something different, to surprise Dean someway and most of the times it was teasing. Dean loved it and at that moment he was enjoying it very much, but at the same time he wanted for things to happen. Not that the impromptu lap dance had been bad. Feeling Sam’s dick every now and again and teasing his brother in the process was a brilliant idea and fortunately Sam agreed with him. Dean would have smiled at the words, but the gag made it difficult to express how he was feeling, so Dean just hummed lovingly, glad that Sam had liked it. Unfortunately, Sam was ordering him not to move his hips again and Dean just nodded, showing that he understood that he was supposed to obey to that order as well. He was incredibly glad that the punishment wasn’t over, though and he sighed in relief when Sam smiled at him. He’d have his spanking after all, Sam wasn’t going to tease him to death. A groan – that midway became a moan – left him, though, the moment Sam slapped him again. On both cheeks this time and harder, and Dean could only cling to the chair harder, eyes falling closed at the sensation. He couldn’t move his hips or hands, but he had no idea whether he was allowed to let his body drape all over Sam. He’d probably tilt his ass in a way that gave Sam more skin to mark, but he shouldn’t do something without knowing if it was okay. But then he thought that even if he did something Sam didn’t want him to, he’d just get more punishment – not that he wanted to be /only/ spanked, but at that moment the idea didn’t feel so bad. So Dean let his head fall to Sam’s shoulder as his body leaned forward and he perched his ass as he moaned around the gag.

Sam could only rely on Dean's eyes and soft sounds to check how he was feeling. Fortunately, it was clear that they were both enjoying it and it encouraged him to keep going. He smiled appreciatively at Dean's nod, always happy to give him the recognition he deserved. "Look at you, all nice and obedient. You're perfect for me, Dean." Sam wasn't sure if he should be saying such loving words already, but his brother usually enjoyed those and he didn't think it interfered with the punishment. On the contrary, they were going through that to reach a point where they wouldn't be mad at each other for stupid mistakes. Sam felt his own hand stinging lightly and he realized it was an useful way to check the force of the slaps. If it hurt him, it would hurt Dean, he didn't even need the confirmation. Luckily he knew his own strength. Sam was raising his hand to hit again when Dean tipped forward, resting against his shoulder. He didn't call out on that behavior right away because he noticed that the new position raised Dean's ass, giving him more flesh to cover. Sam hummed softly and used both hands to grope and squeeze his brother's butt. "I didn't say you could move." He whispered, slapping him hard again. "But since you can't ask and I know you're doing it to please me, I'm not considering that disobeying. Just… risky behavior." Sam grinned, seeing the reflection on the mirror. He could see the eagerness in his eyes, but then his glance went down to what he really wanted to watch. He spanked Dean over and over, alternating on each cheek. He had counted six hits before he stopped and massaged the skin, noticing how red it looked. Sam hummed low in his throat. "Do you understand you can't just touch my stuff without permission?"

Dean loved how Sam could be so loving when sometimes the moment asked for him to be rough and hard on the edges. But no. His baby brother was always so kind, praising him and speaking words of love that even though Dean knew they should be playing a role, he couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by those words. For some reason, hearing them made something lift from his shoulders and Dean realized he felt guiltier than he previously thought. While he wasn’t using the punishment as a way to feel better about what he had done or even to forgive himself about it, Sam’s loving words in such a moment were enough to make him at ease. That was probably why, when Sam said he hadn’t exactly disobeyed that Dean had been happy about it. His first thought had been to do it, regardless of the punishment, but now he just wanted to make Sam feel proud of him, he wanted to do whatever Sam asked of him and obey and then be praised and loved like he needed. Not that the spanking wasn’t nice. Far from it, it was still very welcome and Dean whimpered at every slap, his noises growing louder the more his cheeks burned. Dean was panting harshly through the gag when Sam finally stopped with the hitting and Dean felt himself relaxing, noticing only then how tense his body had been while Sam was doing it. He would have chuckled at the realization, but he was still panting too much to do anything else. It wouldn’t matter because Sam was speaking to him then and Dean looked up, eyes glazed with arousal and want and Dean wanted to lick his lips, wanted to kiss Sam, but since he couldn’t, he just nodded, but his eyes were begging for more – whatever it was that Sam was willing to give him.

Sam didn't know what Dean was thinking, but he could tell it was good to him. He was glad for that, as he could make Dean believe his words. That was another perk of taking the dominant role, not just feeding off the power it gave him. Sam raised his hand to cradle his brother's jaw, stroking the skin beneath the strap of leather that held the gag. He hoped he was doing right with this attempt at being loving and rough at the same time. His cock twitched at Dean's loud whimpers, knowing it was out of pleasure. Sam wasn’t so worried about hurting him on accident anymore, getting the hang of being careful without going too soft. He heard Dean's heavy breathing and gave him a moment – which he also needed because he could only think about how hard he was and how he just wanted to pull his brother's hips down against his. But this was also about controlling himself and Sam took a deep breath. "God, you look so…" He licked his lips. "I believe you. I believe you didn't mean to disobey. Two more slaps and we'll be done with your punishment." He kissed his Dean's neck and stared into the mirror as he brought his hand down two more time on the same cheek, just to see it going redder. Then Sam pulled back, slowly fondling Dean's ass to ease the pain. Since the punishment was over, he rolled his hips up and moaned at the friction. "We're going back to bed." He announced, hoping to have more room to move, even though this position was quite interesting. Sam gently pushed his brother out of his lap and got up. He made quick work of undressing as he went to the bed. "Since you've been so good, I'll let you decide if you want to be on your back or on all fours."

Dean wanted to know what Sam was about to say. He looked so what? A thousand adjectives came to mind, but he’d never know what his brother meant by that, which saddened Dean. He understood that Sam was in control and he wasn’t exactly saying those words to him – at least it had sounded more of an afterthought than an actual praise. But then Sam was saying his punishment was about to be over and Dean realized that he could agree with that. His ass burned in the best way possible and he could only guess how his ass looked like. He moaned loudly at the two last slaps and then he had trouble breathing again, his cheeks feeling overused – but again, in the best way possible. Dean could take more, but he didn’t want to force himself. He knew his limits and he thought the best option would be to stop right there. Sam’s hands on his ass were sublime and when Sam thrusted his hips against Dean’s, he could only gasp, desperate to do something else, to have his cock touched or his hole or even his mouth, he just needed something. Then he was being pushed up and Dean stood in weak legs, waiting for Sam’s next order. So they weren’t going to have sex on the chair – well, that was a shame, but the two of them moving on that chair frantically would probably break it anyway. Dean walked to the bed and he was considering lying on his back, but then he imagined how his ass probably looked like and he put his hands and then his knees on the bed, crawling up on it until he was in the middle. Then he looked at Sam and he realized his brother had stripped and he couldn’t help but ogle his baby brother’s lean body. Fuck, Sam looked amazing and he could see the short, but definitely there short hair on Sam’s chest and he quite liked it – although he was sure he’d love it anyway, his brother was simply breathtaking, regardless of his chest hair.

Sam could see that he had already wrecked Dean and a shiver ran up his spine. It was the first time he accomplished that without sexual stimulation. He was glad that Dean enjoyed spanking as much as he did. "Somehow I knew you'd choose that." Sam chuckled when his brother climbed to the bed on his hands and knees. It gave him a full view of Dean's ass and he breathed in shakily. The skin was red, he could only imagine how sensitive it felt. Looking up, he caught Dean's on his chest and smiled. "I told you I was going to let it grow this time." Sam bit his lip. He still wasn't sure if he liked it, not used to chest hair, but it didn't look as weird as he thought it would and Dean seemed to enjoy it. That was enough for him. Sam took the lube and then got on the bed, draping over his brother's back to kiss his neck. His cock slid over Dean's ass, letting him /feel/ the heat of abused flesh. He moaned at that closing his eyes. "You're so good. Taking your punishment well, wanting to please me." The compliments slid easily from his mouth. "And don't touch yourself." Sam advised, although he doubted that Dean would when he was about to do plenty of touching for him. He coated his fingers in lube and slid them from Dean's balls to his hole. His thumb massaged the sensitive skin as his forefinger teased the ring of muscle and then he slid it inside slowly. "If you want, you can take the gag off. It's hot but I also like listening to you." Sam smiled, a hint of smugness in his words. He moved his finger expertly, doing what he thought would be more pleasurable to his brother. It didn't take long before he added another one, pushing them in deep.

Dean blushed for being so predictable, but in the end, he was doing everything within his – limited – power to please Sam, and while they loved some old-fashioned vanilla sex, he wanted Sam to see what he had just done to Dean’s ass. So in all honesty, it wasn’t all that surprising that Sam had known, but it still made his cheeks – the ones in his face, not in his butt – burn with embarrassment. Dean hummed when Sam commented on his chest hair, clearly catching on what Dean had been thinking. Dean did like it. It looked good on his brother and it hadn’t looked awkward or made Dean feel envious. It was more of a turn on – like anything about Sam, but that wasn’t a surprise, and he knew that if Sam waxed again, it would be a turned on again –, which had surprised Dean who was expecting at least a little bit of jealousy. Dean didn’t need to linger in those thoughts, though, because soon after Sam was touching him, kissing his neck and his fucking dick felt amazing against the burning flesh of his ass. Dean moaned at Sam’s compliment, even though he had no idea where it was coming from. He wanted to point out that he knew he shouldn’t touch himself; Sam had emphasized that Dean should /not/ touch Sam’s belonging, so it only made sense if it meant Dean as well – he’d like to mention that for Sam, but maybe afterwards, since the gag was still in his mouth. A gasp escaped him when Sam’s lubed finger touched his balls and then went to his hole. Unconsciously, Dean closed his eyes to take full advantage of the feeling and he could only groan and moan around the gag at Sam’s finger slowly breaching him. It felt amazing how heated his skin was and how cool the lube was, although as soon as Sam had it inside him, it started warming up as well, but the first touch had been incredible, his dick twitching at the lack of touch. Dean considered taking the gag out, but he was a bit torn if he should or not. He was enjoying it, but he also wouldn’t mind take it off and let his noises flood the room. In the end, he shook his head as if letting Sam know that it was /his/ decision, not Dean’s. Sam was the one in charge, after all. Dean moaned louder when the second finger entered him and he even managed to open even more his legs, giving Sam more space.

Sam smiled lightly at Dean's positive reaction to his chest hair. He thought he could let it grow more often, maybe still wax when he wanted to but not do it as an obligation. As proven by their diversified sex life, Dean liked everything about him. Sam moved his fingers slowly, getting even more turned on with his brother's moans. "No, you don't want to take it off, or no, you don't want to decide?" He asked, although he thought that the latter option was more likely. He was giving options as a reward, but he knew that Dean liked to submit. "I'll take it off when I finish prepping you. I want you to be able to speak when I fuck you." Sam said, deciding at last. It only made him want to get this over with and take Dean, but this wasn't just about getting relief. He scissored his fingers, crooking them from time to time to brush against Dean's prostate, just a taste of incredible pleasure. Sam started using three fingers then, sliding them faster as his brother adjusted to the feeling. It was hard to take his time, but he did it, making sure that Dean was loose and wet for him. When Sam decided it was enough, he pulled his fingers out and wiped that hand slightly on the sheets so he could free Dean from the gag. He pressed a kiss on the corner of his brother's mouth, smiling contently. "Now you can talk." Sam permitted, tossing the gag aside. He grabbed the lube again to slick up his cock, his other hand stroking Dean's ass just because he couldn't stop touching him. Sam lined up at last and let out a sigh as the head of his dick breached Dean's hole. He didn't hesitate to push in all the way, but he was careful. "Fucking perfect, my little pet." He breathed out, whispering the words against Dean's shoulder.

Dean just groaned at Sam’s inquiry, because he couldn’t really answer Sam. Why Sam kept asking him question or ordering impossible things, Dean had no idea, but he just remained there, letting his brother take his own conclusions. And once Sam decided, Dean actually moaned. It was an incredible idea to have the gag removed just when he was about to get fucked. For now, he continued gasping and grunting around the gag, enjoying what Sam was doing with his fingers. Once more, Dean was pleasantly surprised by how careful Sam was being, even though the plan had been to be rough and leave marks all over Dean. Yet, he couldn’t care, not now, not with Sam touching him so deliciously. Dean wasn’t allowed to move his hips, but depending on what Sam did, he couldn’t help but squirm a bit, overwhelmed by the feeling. By the time Sam had three fingers in him, he could only pant harshly and God, he was so worked up he had no idea how he hadn’t come yet, but thankfully Sam was taking the fingers out to substitute it with his cock. It took longer than Dean hoped for because his brother had to take the gag off, which resulted in a low whimper escaping his lips as soon as he was free to speak. But it didn’t matter that he was allowed to speak now because the only things he could do was moan and groan and pant. When the head of Sam’s cock was against his hole, Dean held his breath, tilting his head back a bit and closing his eyes, expectation in every pore of his body; and he wasn’t disappointed. Sam’s cock always felt incredible inside him, but maybe because Dean had been particularly worked up that day, feeling Sam sliding in, inch by inch, everything felt more sensitive, more wonderful and Dean’s only response was to moan. His hands and knees were shaking slightly from the strength of keeping himself up with all that lust toppling over him, but he remained there for Sam. When Sam praised him and called him ‘pet’, Dean lost it. He moaned loudly and his hands gave in, which resulted in his upper body descending to the bed. His knees were still up and well-spread, but now Dean had his face on the mattress and hands clenching tightly on the sheets. “Sammy…”

Sam gripped Dean's hips tightly when he noticed him moving, but then he realized it was only a lack of balance. God, Dean looked amazing there, head resting on the mattress and his ass up in the right angle to be fucked. Sam groaned, draping himself even more over his brother. He circled his hips slightly, just feeling how tight Dean was around him and hopefully making it that much more sensitive as he brushed over raw skin. He wanted Dean to keep thinking of the spanking, of the punishment he got to learn a lesson. "You didn't even need the gag, you can only say my name." Sam hummed. He had taken the gag off to hear Dean's voice, but giving him permission to speak and finding out that he /couldn't/ talk coherently was unbelievably hot. Sam got tired of teasing and gave a hard thrust, their hips clashing together. He was holding his brother so tight it would leave more marks on the skin, but it was necessary as he fucked Dean roughly, not bothering to start out slow. Dean could take what he gave him, there to be taken. "Always so tight for me, I know you're not gonna let anyone else fuck you." The words were pure dirty talk, but then Sam remembered what his brother had told him, the things he'd done for money. Imagining what kind of people would pay for sex, touching Dean like that and thinking they /owned/ him… it all made Sam's blood boil. His eyes fell on the collar and a shiver ran up his spine, a sudden need to claim Dean and do things to him no one else had been allowed to do. He reached for the collar and pulled it back, keeping the position for only a few seconds before he released Dean. In spite of his craving, Sam was aware that he was inexperienced, only knowing what to do because of the time his brother had used the same trick. His heartbeat spiked up as he waited to make sure he hadn't hurt Dean.

Dean felt his body shivering slightly from all the arousal he was feeling and he could feel how hard Sam was holding his hips, so Dean didn’t know if Sam was doing it on purpose because he thought Dean was moving or just because he was trying to ground himself. Dean didn’t care the reason, though, he just loved the way he could feel the grip surely marking him, making sure a soft and delightful ache would remain afterward. The teasing on his heated ass only made things even more sensitive for Dean and he relished in that feeling. Sam felt incredible rubbing against the burning skin. “Ah, Sammy.” Dean wanted to agree that he wasn’t in any condition to speak properly, but his lack of words just made his point even more obvious. He wanted to speak though. He wanted to be able to tease and dirty talk and maybe even be a little bossy, but it was all too much for Dean and the only thing he could do was moan and groan and pant. And Dean gasped loudly when Sam thrust hard into him and Dean wanted to beg for more, wanted Sam to pound his ass unashamed. Sam seemed to understand, though, and for that he was grateful. When Sam said those words about Dean not being able to let anyone else fuck him, Dean whimpered, whole body shuddering and he opened his eyes, trying to look at his brother over his shoulder. “Yeah, yes, Sammy.” He managed to moan out and holy fuck, that was incredibly hot. After all he had said to Sam that day, those words were incredibly possessive, but not only that. Dean felt so damn loved, so damn owned and he a few months ago he would never have guessed he’d consider ‘being owned’ as good thing, but now, being fucked, /claimed/ by his little brother, Dean couldn’t help but feel smitten. Apparently, Sam had thought exactly the same thing because the next moment he was raising Dean’s head by the collar and Dean couldn’t breathe for a few moments and Dean just closed his eyes, /feeling/ everything and god, he could come with only that. He hoped he wouldn’t come so soon, though, because he honestly thought he was in Paradise and he wanted to feel that forever. He gasped for air when Sam let him fall back on the bed and then he moaned – his moan being half a sob and he hoped Sam understood he wasn’t sad or in pain, on the contrary, it was simply too good and he couldn’t contain it all within himself.

Sam 's breath hitched when his eyes met Dean's. It was such an intense look, raw lust and hunger standing out, but there was also a hint of something deeper, a love that couldn't be put into words. He knew that in the moment Dean was giving himself completely to him. Sam could only accept it and take good care of his brother in every way. That's what he meant to accomplish with his possessiveness; not treating Dean like an object he could own, but taking the responsibility to be the best partner. Sam slowed down his movements as he let go of the collar, sighing on his own because he was able to /feel/ Dean struggling to breathe and the spasms went through his whole body. He tilted his head to have a better look at his brother's expression, frightened that the sound he heard was one of pain, but he saw only pleasure there. Maybe a bit of tension. "You're doing so well, Dean." Sam complimented, picking up the fast pace of his thrusts with a moan. His fingertips brushed over the collar, but he wanted it to be unexpected when he did it again, so he waited a moment. He lowered his head to bite at Dean's shoulder and as he pulled back he also tugged on the collar. He held it longer this time, buried deep inside Dean to feel his body react to it. Sam had been too lost into the pleasure back when he was the one with the collar, but he remembered enough to have a rough knowledge of the time so he wouldn't hurt his brother. As soon as he released the hold, his hand slid down to Dean's ribs. Without a warning, Sam straightened up and pulled Dean with him, chest plastered to back. He had to spread his own knees further apart to balance them, but this way he could fuck Dean hard and maim his neck, leaving marks all around the collar. "Do you like it when I handle you around? I bet you can come with me cutting your breath, I know it's driving you crazy." Sam growled into his brother's ear. He hooked his fingers into the collar and pulled it firmly.

Dean had never felt such absolute and utter bliss, love and ecstasy with a partner before, Sam had been the only one to get this result from him. Acknowledging that meant so much, mainly in their current situations. Sam didn’t want him to have sex with other people, even if it was for money and Dean honestly didn’t want to because he knew /no one/ would compare to Sam. When he had commented earlier about the sleeping around for money, he hadn’t expected Sam to be jealous or possessive, because Dean would do it without any kind of emotional attachment, but considering that the situation was reversed, he knew he’d be green with jealousy and he’d want to mark Sam up and make sure he knew who he belonged to. So, yeah, he could relate. It also amazed Dean how Sam could be pulling him by the collar and pounding his ass roughly in a moment and the next he would slow down and praise him and while that was incredible, Dean needed to come, which wouldn’t happen with Sam slowing down. Thankfully, Sam didn’t linger on that decision and Dean kept his eyes closed the whole time, hoping that the lack of sense – senses, if Sam kept the breathplay – would enhance his arousal and make him come quicker. But only feeling Sam’s hand on the collar was enough to make him writhe and whimper and almost sob, and when Sam held him up once more, Dean’s gasp was cut in half and Dean felt his body slowly warming up, every inch of his skin becoming hyperaware of everything – even the smallest blow of air would feel like an explosion on his skin. He still had his hands into tight fists and he could feel how his body trembled with everything he was feeling. When Dean started to fall back down to the bed and was able to breathe, he had no idea what Sam in mind for him and that was why he yelped when he was suddenly raised, with Sam tightly holding him up. It was too much now, and at Sam’s question he could only nod eagerly. He felt tears starting to fall as he desperately wanted to come, but as soon as Sam pulled the collar once more, Dean came with a silent scream, more tears escaping him. He could feel his whole body spasming and he hoped Sam didn’t freak out, because his body’s reaction was due to one of the best orgasms he had ever had.

Sam listened to his brother's sounds with more interest than ever. Now it wasn't just because he loved hearing those, but to pay attention if it became something it wasn't meant to be. After Dean had trouble with the blindfold, it became clear that they couldn't simply assume they would love every new thing they tried in bed. Sam didn't forget that, even when he was pounding Dean with desperate need to be rough clawed at his skin. He noticed Dean's nod, silent proof that things were alright even with all the whimpers and moans. Sam let out a grunt when his brother came, keeping his hand on the collar as Dean's hole clenched around him and he could feel the spasms rolling through his body. It was too much for him. Sam let go of the collar to hold Dean's hips, thrusting into him erratically, forcefully, until heat exploded in him. He came with a loud groan, pulling Dean tight against his chest as he kept moving. It slowed down with Sam coming back from his high and he felt exhausted, barely holding them up. He used his last bit of strength to lie down with his brother, still inside him. It was hard to catch his breath and he wondered what Dean was feeling, since he had his breath cut short a couple times. Maybe he would ask later, for now he could only relax. Leaning in to kiss Dean's jaw, Sam noticed that his cheeks were shining wet. He frowned, trying not to freak out. "You alright?" He asked softly. It could be just a natural reaction to the intense sensations, but Sam would rather be safe than sorry. "You can take a moment, I know it was overwhelming." Anything that kept his brother from talking during sex had to be mind-blowing. "You were so good, so obedient. I love you."

Dean felt Sam coming inside him, but he couldn’t react properly to it. Instead, he tried to come back from his high and breathe properly at the same time and he was grateful when Sam lowered the two of them back into the bed. Dean’s mind was a complete blank, no thoughts or worries, just the happy hum of his orgasm in the back of his mind as he felt Sam’s body so close to his. That was why when Sam talked that Dean opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times the tears in his eyes, understanding just what Sam meant. “Awesome.” He replied, but his voice was so hoarse it was a wonder he could speak at all. Then he smiled at Sam’s next words, thanking him internally for being so understanding. Dean just hoped he wouldn’t cry every time they had sex though, that would be embarrassing. It didn’t matter how overwhelming the sex or the orgasm was, but crying wasn’t supposed to be something good. He brought a hand to his face to clean up his cheeks, but stopped mid-action to look at his brother as he praised him. “Love ya too, Sammy.” Dean sighed happily, bringing the same hand to Sam’s hair, stroking it lovingly. He liked to be treated like that, even when they weren’t having sex and he just wanted to hold Sam and feel the happiness overwhelm him once more. When his breathing evened out and his heart started beating at a more normal rate, Dean smiled, feeling completely sated. “God, Sammy, this was great.” He tried looking at Sam over his shoulder and while he loved to be under his brother, he wanted to be facing him so he could kiss him and snuggle with him now that sex was over. “I think we should order in something. I don’t feel like moving from the bed anytime soon so cooking and going out are off the table.” Dean said, his voice slowly coming back to its normal sound. “Whatcha want?”

Sam sighed in relief at Dean's positive reply – and then his smile turned a bit smug because he had made his brother sound hoarse like that. Knowing that everything was okay, Sam could wait patiently without asking Dean a million questions. The hand on his hair felt great and he melted with it. He hadn't noticed he had his eyes closed until Dean spoke again and he looked up. "I'm glad. It was great for me too." It was a wonderful way to make up for their fight. Sam noticed that his brother was trying to face him and although he was comfortable in that position he easily slipped out and pulled Dean to turn to him. He hummed contently, the idea of not leaving the bed sounding like just what he needed. "We can order pizza, we haven't had any in a while." Sam smiled, remembering that they weren't eating pizza because Dean usually cooked and it was amazing. "But let's stay like this a moment longer, if we order now we have to go shower while we wait." They would have to shower anyway, but neither of them was in a decent condition to open the door when it came down to it. "I really enjoyed what we did. I was afraid I'd hurt you but I recalled how you did it to me the other time and it wasn't that difficult. Isn't crazy that being unable to breathe can be so hot?" Sam chuckled. He would have been happy to lie in bed with Dean and taking about how awesome their sex life was without worrying about anything, but he was getting hungry. Burning off energy with an argument and then sex had this downside. "Okay, we should probably order that pizza." Sam sighed, placing a soft kiss on his brother's lips before turning onto his back to reach out for his phone. He chose the usual place and ordered a double cheese pizza, one half with bacon because Dean deserved it.

Dean was incredibly relieved when Sam said he had enjoyed it too and Dean realized he had been worried, since he knew his brother didn’t enjoy pain in bed. Of course he had been worried that he had seen Dean crying and he just felt like punching himself in the face. Instead, he moved around as Sam slid out of him and he held him close, kissing his brother’s cheek, nose, lips and even jaw just to keep him close. He felt incredibly giddy and he was showing it by pouring kisses on Sam’s skin. “I wanted to make pizza someday. When I’m not so drained out, though. Then I’ll make the whole thing.” Dean said a bit dreamily. He should have done it by now, but he had chosen to prepare more healthy food for them so it would seem more like a normal meal – and honestly, he enjoyed doing new things for them. “Do we need to shower, though? You know what would be great? Eat the pizza in bed and then have more sex. Maybe get some ice and mix everything up.” Dean said with a chuckle, biting lightly at Sam’s jaw, just needing to touch his brother – and he did it with his mouth because, well, Dean didn’t actually have control over his mouth, did he? “I’m glad you liked it. And you didn’t. I mean, I can feel some parts of my body already aching and it’s deliciously awesome.” Dean said with a happy hum, licking Sam’s lips before kissing his cheeks once more. “And yeah. I saw it in porn, obviously, and I’ve always wanted to try it, /obviously/, and I’m glad we did it. It was incredible. The spanking too. Hell, I thought I was going to come with only your slaps.” Dean said and looked at Sam like the idea was out of that world – which wasn’t, since Dean had already come without even being touched. He saw Sam ordering the pizza and he just waited, still kissing Sam’s jaw and neck, not wanting to annoy Sam, but feeling the urge to keep kissing him, almost as if he was worshipping him, but it wasn’t that exactly. Dean was simply too happy. “Bacon, huh? You know you’ll get in my pants anyway, right? Or not, since we’re naked.” He chuckled at his own silly joke, mouth still mapping out Sam’s jaw and face.

Sam hummed at the many kisses Dean spread over his face. He loved those little displays of affection just as much as kinky sex. Dean looked happy and sated, so he couldn't help but feel the same way. "I'd love to have homemade pizza. Not today, you deserve a nice rest now." Sam smiled, gazing at his brother with pure fondness and a hint of amazement that he was lucky enough to have this. He considered the possibility of leaving the shower for later on, since they probably would have sex again. Well, it didn't sound so bad. "Okay, but we gotta clean up a bit." He made a move with his hand to indicate the drying come on their chests. "And one of us has to put some clothes on to answer the door. Before you say anything, I'm not letting you do it in just your underwear. Not when you have this on." Sam brushed his fingers over the collar, giving Dean a mischievous smirk. "That kind of ache is acceptable." He mumbled, resting a hand on Dean's hips, where he knew it was bound to leave a lingering aching. "It was good that you had already done it to me, I had a better idea of what I could do. And both times were amazing." Sam sighed happily. He had to suppress a groan as his brother wondered if he could come with just the spanking. "We'll have to try that out some other time. I think I can get you to do it; once you came while you were blowing me and I wasn't even trying to work you up." The smug pride in his words was justified. With Dean's lips sliding everywhere across his face, it was a bit difficult to concentrate on ordering the pizza, but when Sam was done he couldn't even glare, so nice it felt. "I never had to bribe you with anything, you're way too easy for me. Think of it as an extension of your reward." He chuckled. "And I know you have your mind set on sex after we eat, but I want to check the laptop first. Maybe I can get it to work."

Dean chuckled, but nodded. He wasn’t going to do much today and that was why they were ordering food, but now he had to make sure to someday make a pizza for his brother. He then pursed his lips when he realized that he usually used Sam’s laptop to research for recipes and now with him not being about to touch what belonged to Sam. He’d have to find a way. “Why not? It wouldn’t hurt the delivery boy to see me in underwear. He’d be fucking blessed.” Dean then laughed, but he didn’t really mean that. “I thought in putting on underwear and a t-shirt. And leaving this.” He said, bringing his hand to the collar. When he first thought about catching the door, he hadn’t even remembered that he was using the collar, but now it only made him want to show it off, even to a complete stranger who would probably just think he was a weirdo. He couldn’t tell the whole world about their relationship, but he could give little hints, like opening the door with his collar. No one needed to know /who/ put it there. “I like to feel the ache.” Dean said, nuzzling against Sam’s cheek before giving it a kiss. “Right? I was gonna suggest for us to do it again soon, but I think we still have a few things from the list we need to cover?” Dean asked because everything they had tried for the first time had been incredible – from the exception of the blindfold on him, but Dean wanted to forget about that – and he wanted to try more, new things because he knew they’d have a wonderful time. “Remember when we weren’t going to bring up the whole me coming in my pants like a freaking thirteen year old virgin? So shut up.” He pouted and glared at Sam for a little while. “But you are right, we should try and see. Although we had planned to wrestle together and we never did. Maybe we should do it first.” Dean chuckled to himself at that. “Can you blame me?” Dean asked in reply to Sam mentioning that he was too easy and he ran his hands over Sam’s body, squeezing his brother’s ass with both hands quickly before going back up. “Okay.” Dean said, biting his lower lip. He was still upset he had been the one to break Sam’s laptop and ruin his essay, but hopefully Sam would manage to fix it.

Sam huffed loudly. Of course he didn't like the idea of giving the delivery boy a full view of what belonged to him, but then Dean was talking about staying with the collar and it sparked his interest. It was a shame that they couldn't let everyone know, but there was't anything wrong if Dean wanted to parade around with a collar, right? "Okay. You should do it." Sam replied, not even trying to hide his excitement. He realized how easy it was for his brother to make him join in the crazy ideas. "I know you do. I like it too, especially when I can still see the marks. What bothers me is when it becomes real pain… the bad kind. But what we do in bed is different, isn't it?" He said softly, turning his head to capture Dean's lips. "Hmm, I don't think there's much from the list that we haven't tried out." Sam considered, trying to recall everything. They were still doing variations of all the items, but most of them were completely crossed out by now – literally crossed on the paper, he liked keeping a good track. "You talked about filming and that's on the list, but I'd like to have a safe place to keep the video, so we need the laptop working. We have yet to do phone sex and roleplaying. This dominant/submissive thing is close to that but I mean to do it properly, pretend to be something we're not. I like the idea of pretending to be strangers, or something common like teacher and student." Sam blushed at that. It wasn't that he had the hots for a teacher, but for someone who liked learning so much it was inevitable he'd fantasize about Dean as a hot professor. "Or boss and secretary, I don't know." Realizing he was getting way too interested in giving ideas, Sam stopped there. "Yeah, wrestling is good." He breathed in sharply when Dean squeezed his ass. It wasn't avoiding his distractions. "Hey, it's okay." Sam said promptly, caressing his brother's cheek at the slightest sign of distress. "There's no need to torture yourself over that. If I get to fix it, or when we buy another laptop, I'm gonna teach you how to be more careful. Which sites you can trust or where not to click to avoid viruses."

Dean blinked a couple of times, surprised that Sam agreed to it. Not that it was a bad idea – Hell, his plan for Halloween wouldn’t be exactly subtle, so wearing a collar when a random pizza boy came to deliver their pizza was nothing – but Dean was already expecting Sam to bitch about it. He noticed in an afterthought that Sam’s bitching had lessened since they started dating. It hadn’t disappeared, after all, Sam wouldn’t be himself without his bitching, but it was way more bearable. Dean wondered if he had changed too, but didn’t bring it up. “Your wish is an order, Master.” Dean said half-teasingly with a wink. “It is. I don’t mind pain all that much, but in bed it just makes things more kinky. And I don’t know, it’s overwhelming, but in the best way possible.” Dean commented, humming when Sam kissed his lips. He smiled fondly and then paid attention to what Sam was talking about their list. “Do you have the hots for a teacher? Should I be worried?” Dean asked with a raised eyebrow. He couldn’t blame Sam, though, Dean understood the appeal of feeling attracted to someone who had power, but he couldn’t help but wonder. “You had mentioned that one, remember, that we pretend to not know each other? That could be hot. /And/ we could have sex on the car.” Dean said with a stupid grin on his face. “But we could do all of these things as well, why not?” Since they were varying the same things that they had already tried, they could do all types of roleplaying. Some would be more difficult because they’d require props, but if Dean found a job, he could spend some money with it. “No, don’t worry, Sammy.” Dean brought his hand to hold Sam’s, to take it away from his face. “It’s your laptop and I should respect that. We’re gonna fix it or I’m gonna buy you a new one and I’m not gonna take it, okay? I can always use my phone. Or the library computer.” Sam didn’t have to go through the burden of teaching his dumb brother how to use technology, really, and Dean wouldn’t accept it. His brother had more important things to worry about than worrying about what Dean did on his computer.

Sam shivered, even though Dean was probably joking with that tone. Considering what they were doing just moments before and the collar that was still on his brother's neck, Sam couldn't avoid the reaction. "/You're/ kinky. I like the way we do it, overwhelming and intense." He sighed, their lips brushing together. He got a little flustered at being called out on his roleplaying idea. "No, of course not. I only want you. You have no idea how hot you'd be as a teacher. Maybe we could even get you a pair of glasses…" Sam trailed off with a hum, the image working perfectly for him. "It turned me on when we started this and you'd explain to me what to do. So no, you shouldn't be worried, this fantasy is all about you." He reassured, squeezing Dean in the embrace. "Oh right, I did. And I still want it. We could meet in a bar, then have sex in the car as if we won't have another chance to do it." Sam valued their relationship as it was, but it could be fun to play out different scenarios of how they could meet if they weren't brothers. However, the excitement turned into innocent confusion when Dean refused help to learn his way through technology. "Dean, I'd be happy to teach you. You didn't really believe what I was saying, did you? About you not touching what's mine, that was because of what we were doing. You /are/ allowed to borrow my stuff, as long as you're careful and tell me if something goes wrong. I promise I won't be mad if you tell me." Sam bit his lip. He didn't want his brother to think he was an insensitive tyrant. "Do you understand that? I'm gonna give you a few hints on how to be careful with the laptop and you can use it whenever you need it. You already give me everything, I can't deny you that."

Dean laughed because he was, indeed, very kinky. Sam was too, way more than Dean had predicted before they started this, and that was why it worked so well. “I love it too.” Dean said happily. Because even when they were slow and sweet, it somehow was intense and overwhelming so it had nothing to do with being rough or kinky. Intense and overwhelming described quite well how their sex lives worked. “Do you have a glasses kink that I’m unaware of? Because you know I don’t need glasses.” He then stopped for a second and nodded. “But okay, I guess I get it. We’ll find one without real glasses.” He had no idea how he could be hot as a teacher since Dean had never had the patience to teach anyone anything, but if that’s what Sam wanted, he could give it a shot. “Yeah! I could say I’m just passing by the town and you’re a student here, so we have sex in my car because it’s a one time only situation.” Dean said excitedly. He liked this idea, because he could try to see if his brother had what it took to hit on him – it would probably be very endearing and cute, Dean thought, and he wanted to see this happening. “We could also make one that you’re my lawyer and I’m the client. I’m warning you now: I’m guilty.” He winked to his brother, way too into this whole thing. They weren’t going to do any of them right then, but it was nice to discuss what they had in mind. It was a wonderful idea to see what the other was willing to do or if they had any hidden kinks. The whole excitement was drained from Dean’s face when Sam continued pushing with the idea of helping Dean with the laptop. He sighed, closing his eyes for three seconds before looking back at his brother. “How do I put this?” Dean waited a heartbeat before speaking. “/No/. I don’t want your help and I’m not touching your laptop. Yeah, you said it during sex, so what? You had said it when you were still pissed too and /that’s/ what I’m considering. I fucked up and I won’t touch your things again.”

Sam grinned, happy that they had clicked so well in bed. They were different in many aspects and it could go wrong if they had completely different tastes when it came to sex, but they got lucky. He considered it another proof that they were made for each other, their bodies meant to be tangled together. "Who /doesn't/ love a hot man in glasses?" Sam asked, as if it would be crazy not to agree. Okay, maybe the whole scholar look worked for him, it shouldn't be a surprise. He beamed when Dean announced he was okay with trying it. "Oh, why would you be passing by, though? Just a free-spirited guy that's seen it all while I'm a small town boy eager to try out new things in college?" Sam was getting way into coming up with the scenario, but he couldn't help it. Then his eyes darkened at Dean's next idea. "I like that. Would you have to convince me to defend you? And I can barely wait to find out /what/ you're guilty of." He almost said something cheesy like 'stealing my heart', but that would be too much. It surely was more romantic than the new direction of their conversation. Sam frowned, looking wounded even though he knew it was his fault for being angry and yelling at his brother. "I don't like it when you take my stuff without permission, that's true, but the laptop is useful and we only have this one. You can use it, I just want to make sure this mess doesn't happen again." He doubted that arguing would persuade Dean, though. Sam sighed and rolled out of bed. He'd had plans for what they could do later, but that talk was killing the mood."But okay if you don't want it. The pizza should be here soon." He said simply, going to the bathroom to wash his hands and wipe off the traces of come on his chest.

Dean just arched an eyebrow at Sam. Apparently his baby brother had a few kinks Dean didn’t know. Dean wasn’t picky with his partners, and glasses most certainly never was a thing he had considered to be attractive before. “For me, as long as the person has a nice ass, a full and perky pair of boobs or a big cock, I’m sold.” Dean shrugged, not even joking. He wasn’t ashamed of admitting that he liked people because of their physical assets, although that didn’t matter with Sam, because his brother had a nice ass, had a big dick /and/ was completely beautiful. From the mop of hair on top of his head to the big and slender feet. “Wow, you’re way into it, aren’t you? But yeah, that sounds awesome.” Sam had an incredible imagination for it. Dean had no idea if he’d put so much thought in why he would be passing by, but he liked to hear Sam’s enthusiastic ideas. “Maybe I’ve killed someone. Or maybe I’ve stolen someone. I’m sure we’ll be creative when time comes.” He had no idea what crime he could have committed to convince his lawyer to defend him. It couldn’t be something farfetched, but Dean also didn’t want anything too simple. He’d have to put some thought into it. Now, though, things were getting a bit tense between them and Dean felt anxious again. “Look, I know what you’re trying to do, but you don’t have to. Somehow I think you’re dealing with this nicely just because you now know I used to sleep with people for money.” And Dean didn’t want Sam to act weird because of that, even though the sex had been great. When Sam left the bed to go to the bathroom, Dean got upset that Sam wasn’t understanding his point of view. Then there was a knock on the door and Dean forced himself to stand up and put on some random underwear – that could be his or Sam’s – and took his wallet. The guy delivering the pizza eyed him awkwardly, but Dean didn’t even care that he had dried come on his chest and many fresh marks on his shoulder and neck. He slammed the door on the guy’s face when he kept on looking at him and Dean went to the fridge, took two sodas with only one hand and then brought everything to the table.

Sam tilted his head, watching Dean curiously. He couldn't narrow down his attraction to people to only a few physical assets. Yes, while he had been crushing on Dean for years, he had also been attracted to other boys and girls, but he supposed he was more romantic. He watched their smiles or the spark in their eyes. It didn't matter, as Sam found all that – both the innocent and the dirty things- with his brother. "Sorry, I guess I have to paint the whole picture to make it work." He chuckled, ducking his head in embarrassment. Good thing was that Dean wasn't judging him – no, he was going along with it. It would be great if they could remain on that topic, but there was a bad side to their discussion that wasn't over. "I'm not denying it's on my mind, but it's not just that. I know you've been doing whatever you can for me and it's only fair that I let go of some things for you too. It's just a laptop, Dean. We both need it. It's easier if you let me help you and then we won't worry about breaking it again." Sam shrugged. He was still in the bathroom when he heard someone at the door and he cursed under his breath that he was naked. Before he could do something about it, though, he saw Dean going to the door – in just his boxers, exactly like Sam didn't want him to. But that shouldn't be a reason for another fight. He put on the pair of underwear that stayed behind and went to sit by table just as Dean brought in their food. "I don't know why it's bothering you so much." Sam commented suddenly, staring down at the piece of pizza he'd just grabbed for himself. "Did I really upset you? You completely mistook my point. It's not about you borrowing my stuff, it's about you doing it carelessly. That could be resolved easily. And if you're going to be like that, then I'm not accepting anything from you. I don't care if you get money for a new laptop, I don't want it."

Dean considered that and agreed that things would only really work out if they had a whole story. It might be easier for Dean who had watched all kinds of porn and most of them had no plot whatsoever, so for him, it shouldn’t be a big deal. But as they talked and discussed and brought up ideas, Dean couldn’t help but feel even more excited to do it – it would feel more real that way anyway. Unfortunately, their current conversation was going downside and Dean had no idea why. Why was it so bad that Dean didn’t want to use Sam’s laptop anymore? He might say it’s not because he was pitying Dean – or whatever, because Dean didn’t believe he should be pitied, not about that anyway – but it was the only reason Dean could come up with. Once they were both sitting down, Dean took a piece full with bacon to himself and started munching on it. And then Sam started talking again and Dean had to sigh. “First of all, I’m not being ‘like that’ or whatever this means. I’m doing you a favour. Second, if I buy you a laptop, you /will/ accept it.” It would be highly unfair if Sam didn’t accept it and Dean looked for a while longer his half-eaten piece of pizza before looking at his brother. “You wanna know why I’m upset? Because I have no freakin’ idea what you want anymore. You said you wanted me to study and I’m doing it. I’m not missing a single class and I manage to write papers and even do projects and stuff because I thought that’s what you wanted from me. I don’t really think I’ll be an engineer when we finish here, but I’m doing as you asked.” Dean paused for a moment, putting the pizza back, because he needed to finish this before eating. “And now you don’t even care about it. Then why should I? I’ll find a job and fucking fix your laptop. And provide for you like I’ve done all my life. I just hope I’m not kicked out of the dorm if I stop attending classes, because I can’t leave you.” He paused, looking down at the table, but then he sighed and looked back at Sam. “You can’t keep changing your mind.”

Sam pursed his lips. It would be cruel not to accept it if Dean actually bought a new laptop, but he was trying to make a point. He never meant to hurt Dean, not when he was mad about losing his essay and certainly not now. Sam took a bite off his pizza, but he stopped again and looked up as his brother kept on talking. He didn't remember saying anything against Dean's studies, although this time he'd been selfishly focused on using the laptop for /his/ homework. "And I'm proud of you for that. I truly am. That's what I want you to keep doing." Sam reinforced, hoping he wouldn't leave any doubts on that. "It's why I'm saying you don't need to worry about getting me a new laptop, you shouldn't skip classes to work because you want to give /me/ something. If we have to work, we'll both do it part-time and we won't let it interfere with our studies. And I know you might need the laptop for your classes too, it's easier. /This/ is what I want, what I've always wanted. I haven't changed my mind, I don't know why you think so." It hurt him to think that Dean was jumping to conclusions that didn't have anything to do with the truth. "And I…" Sam started, but nothing else came to him. He pressed his lips into a thin line and set the piece of pizza down before taking his brother's hand. "I don't know what else to say to not see you upset. Maybe the way I talked to you when we were in bed wasn't the best for this moment." He frowned. It was fun when they did it, but if Dean believed he was forbidden to touch his things there was a part of it that turned out wrong. "But you have to understand that I care much more about staying by your side than that laptop. So keep on studying and we'll find a way that doesn't require giving up on other things."

Dean wanted to point out that Sam hadn’t sound proud – in fact he had been sarcastic, which was quite far from being proud – and maybe Sam hadn’t said he wanted Dean to quit, but he had disregarded his hard work and while Dean wanted to pretend that he wasn’t happy about being one of the best on his class, but truth be told, he yearned for praises. He hadn’t planned on telling Sam, not over a fight, at least, but he ended up blurting it out when Sam’s accusing words dampened his pride. It had made Dean consider giving up on his studies altogether because if Sam wasn’t impressed by his hard work, if he didn’t care about his grades, Dean didn’t know if he could be able to continue. His course wasn’t the worse thing ever and sometimes he could make things, which was something he had always liked, but it wasn’t his dream either, and he was only doing this for his brother. He could be happy working with something else, so having a college degree didn’t mean a thing for him. “It has nothing to do with what we did in bed.” Dean sighed tiredly. “The sex was great. Awesome. I wouldn’t mind doing it exactly like that every day.” He said sincerely, but there wasn’t a hint of a smile on his face. “I just…” Dean started, looking down at their hands and Dean felt the urge to hide. He hated those moments, because he knew that it would only make things worse if he was away from Sammy. “I might have misunderstood.” Dean ended up poorly, but he didn’t want to tell Sam that he didn’t believe him or that he was still going to try and find a full period job. A little lie never hurt anyone. At that, Dean dropped Sam’s hand to get his pizza back and he resumed eating it, hoping Sam would believe him and then they could move on.

Sam raised his eyebrows. Why would Dean act like that if not for taking the things said during sex seriously? Sam didn't remember the exact words he'd used when they were fighting, but he didn't mean to diminish Dean's effort. He was starting to worry if he did it without noticing it, because of his anger. "I'm sorry if I was too harsh. I… wasn't thinking when I was angry." Sam couldn't be more specific with his apologies, but he was trying to understand where he'd gone wrong. Narrowing his eyes as he watched his brother, he couldn't shake off the feeling that it wasn't over yet. There were things left unsaid that would only hurt them both. He knew that Dean had let go of his hand to continue eating, but it was still felt like being pushed away. He hated it. Sam fidgeted for a moment and then took a couple bites from his pizza. "Maybe I didn't make myself clear enough." He wondered aloud. He couldn't stop talking about it, not when it was obvious they weren't alright. "Being mad at you because you messed up the laptop doesn't have /anything/ to do with your studies. If we weren't fighting, I could have congratulated you the way you deserve for climbing your own way to be one of the best, but I was thinking about something else." Once again, Sam was struck by the fear that everything they said about him was true, that he was indeed selfish and didn't mind leaving people behind if he got what he wanted. He fell silent as he ate another piece, then decided it was enough. "I'm gonna see what I can do with the laptop." Sam hesitated. He had plans to ask Dean to stay by his side while he did it, but he wasn't sure if they were in the mood anymore.

Dean wondered if it was too hard for Sam to understand that he didn’t want to talk about that anymore. Dean didn’t want to continue this fight. Yeah, he was still upset, but he was also angry at himself for feeling upset in the first place. He shouldn’t care if he was being a good student or not and if Sam didn’t mind, it should be considered something good, not bad, so it was just too confusing for Dean. “It’s okay, Sammy.” Dean tried to reassure Sam, not wanting his brother to be sad or paranoid. “I don’t care about my studies, you said so yourself, so you actually lifted a weight of my shoulders.” Maybe those words were said to reinforce Dean’s belief that he didn’t care, but he needed that conversation to be over. “I mean, College, man. What the hell. I’m not gonna become an engineer, so what am I even trying to accomplish here? It’ll be better for the both of us if I just focus on working instead of studying. I’ll get us more money and I don’t have to waste my time with useless shit.” Maybe Dean was being too harsh now, but he hated how defensive he got when he was upset. He had tried to end the conversation, but Sam had insisted and now Dean was unconsciously being a little aggressive. He finished his own piece of pizza with bitterness filling his taste buds, which made him give up on eating the pizza. Apparently, Sam had the same idea as he decided to just go check the laptop. “Yeah, okay.” Dean mumbled, looking at anywhere but Sam. He then stood up and made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. He didn’t lock it, but by closing the door Dean showed that he would rather be alone for now. He took off his underwear, throwing it at the growing pile of clothes they needed to wash and stepped inside the shower. At the first spray of water, he yelped when he realized he was still wearing the collar and he stepped out again, opening the door of the bathroom and looking at Sam. He didn’t say anything, instead he just turned his back on his brother and waited until he got the hint.

Sam looked up, disagreeing that any of that seemed remotely okay. He wasn't dumb, he knew that Dean was studying hard because of /him/, because that's what /he/ wanted. Now he understood that his mistake had been leading Dean to believe he didn't care. "But you just proved you /do/ care about it, or you wouldn't study so hard." Sam pointed out. He didn't mind if it drew out the discussion, he felt responsible for his brother's lack of faith in himself. "I thought you were enjoying it. You /do/ have the chance to be an engineer when you graduate, and a good one at that because I know you do a good job when you put your mind to it. There's nothing useless about it if you came here with me to study too. What if you do get kicked out because you're working instead of attending classes?" Sam was trying every reasonable argument he could think of, although there was no guarantee it would work. Dean was just as stubborn, especially when he started putting his walls up. Well, it was his fault, wasn't it? All because of a stupid laptop. Sam had half a mind to kick it out the window and break it for good, but it wouldn't help their situation. Instead he went to the desk and started trying to fix the damage. He couldn't help but feel a bit sad when he heard the bathroom door closing. Nonetheless, it was Dean's decision. Sam managed to turn on the laptop to a restoration screen, but he didn't have time to do much as he noticed his brother standing unmoving near him. He frowned before remembering the collar. Somehow it was good that Dean was asking him to do it. "I was going to tell you to kneel down beside me while I worked on this, but it seems like the moment is over." Sam commented as he unfastened the collar.

Dean ‘s walls were only getting higher with this conversation and Dean was honestly considering leaving for a while, maybe finding closure with his car in an attempt to clear his mind. But it also seemed a bit unfair to just leave. “Have you ever considered that I might have lied? Because I only said I was one of the best to calm you down, but it didn’t work.” It was a lie, but Sam didn’t need to  know that and he hoped he had been convincing enough so Sam would believe him. “I don’t want to be an engineer. If I end up being one, there’ll probably be many explosions.” Dean shrugged, “And if I get kicked out, I’ll try to rent some place in town and you’ll come with me. I’ll bring you to school every day and then get you after work. No biggie.” Except that renting an apartment or a house would probably be really expensive, but if it ever happened, Dean could always leave Sam behind and live in his car. He would try to swing by to catch a shower every now and then, but in the end he’d be working a full time job, buying books and things related to Sam’s course and, most importantly, buying Sam /food/. It would all end well, regardless of what happened to Dean. What mattered was that Sam was going to follow his dream. Sam’s words got Dean completely off guard and he hesitated, but too soon Sam was taking the collar off. He had thought Sam didn’t want anything anymore with him that night and while Dean felt like the mood had been over, he could feel that Sam had been sad by it. “It’s a lost cause, the laptop.” Dean said petulantly, not wanting to face his brother. He went back to the bathroom, closing the door once more and he went to the shower to clean all the dry come and sweat from his body, feeling even worse now for having asked Sam to take off his collar. Once he had taken his shower, he went back to their room completely naked, going to the drawers to find a new pair of underwear. “So? Does it have any hope?” Dean asked, lying on the clean bed after he put the boxers on, still not looking at his brother.

Sam rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't lie about that, not in the middle of an argument." He knew one thing for sure about them: they were prone to telling the truth, even the harsh side of it, during their fights. It made everything more difficult because sometimes lies were comforting. "You could have chosen something else to study. You still can, it's just the first year." Sam retorted. "I don't get why you wanted to try this and it /is/ working well for you but suddenly you want to give it all up to work. If it's because of me, you can cut it, you don't need to work full time." He couldn't accept it, it wasn't /fair/ to Dean. "Besides, if you choose work over college, all the money will end up going for the rent and we'll be in the same situation." It turned out that there wasn't any easy solution out of this, but when had life ever been easy on them? Perhaps that was what made Sam even more bent on fixing the laptop. He didn't like Dean's tone and now he wanted to prove him wrong at all costs. It took a while to find a way to restore the system to a point where he could access the files, but he did get there. Sam went straight to his essay. There was a backup with part of what he had written and considering how scared he'd been of losing it all, it was a relief. He saved it on a pen drive and rested back on the chair with a tired sigh. "It does, actually." Sam replied, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "I'm running a scan to see what's up with the virus. I might have to ask someone to take a look at it, but I was thinking I could talk to a tech student. College students do everything for a bit of money." He wasn't looking at Dean either, unsure of where they stood with each other.

Dean pursed his lips, hating how much Sam knew him in that moment. Most of the time, it would be wonderful, but at that exact moment, Dean wanted to be allowed to lie and convince his brother. He wanted to pretend everything was okay without Sammy calling him out on his bullshit. And those things were just adding up for building his walls higher. It was ironic how Dean had lowered his walls down for Sam and now he was the one who was triggering Dean to build them back up. “I’ll find a way, Sam. And if I’m even here now, it’s because of you. Not because it’s something I want. But between leaving you alone and maybe not even seeing you again and sticking by your side even if it meant I’d have to change a few things in my life, I’d choose you anytime.” Dean didn’t care about sacrifices as long as he had his brother. In the end, Dean would only break if he lost Sam completely. He didn’t want to argue over this anymore, so the conversation was over for him. He’d do things his way, regardless of Sam being happy about it or not. Dean hummed when Sam mentioned that the laptop was salvageable, unsure of what to say to that. It was obvious that they were trying to avoid each other’s eyes and Dean sighed in frustration. He pulled the covers on top of himself and turned his back on Sam. “Good luck, then. You can find a tech student tomorrow, then. Glad I didn’t fuck up your laptop for good.” Few seconds later, Dean ended with a simple: “G’night.” He wasn’t even sure if he’d be able to sleep and it was still early to sleep, but Dean didn’t want to do anything else. The books he had been studying from earlier are still in the kitchen, the pizza box was still mostly full and on the table, and he needed to take care of those stuff, but at that moment, trying to sleep was better than putting some clothes on and fleeing from their dorm.

Sam nodded slowly, but he loathed that thought. He was lucky to have someone like Dean, who would always prioritize his dreams. Yet it wasn't what he expected from their relationship. When Sam stubbornly repeated that he could be independent, it was because he wanted to take risks on his own, learn the right way through mistakes. He didn't want anyone making it easier for him. He had let that continue for way too long, not knowing how much it had taken from Dean. "I want you here. I just wish you'd stop to see what's better for you instead of feeling obliged to change all the time for me. I don't ask for anything more, you're the one saying things in my name." Sam stated firmly. Maybe it wouldn't work, but he had to say it. He stared at Dean as he talked, seemingly devoid of emotion. How did they come to this when earlier that day there was only passion? Sam felt like screaming to get another reaction, even a fight, anything that put them in motion to fix it. He didn't want his brother to sleep while they were upset. It wasn't until minutes later that he found what to say. "Do you think it would have been better for you if I'd never been born?" Sam didn't have to go far to know the answer and he didn't want to hear it, but Dean had to see the pressure it put on him too. "And before you start freaking out, just stop and listen to me. You wouldn't have to do all that for someone else, you wouldn't have another person to take care of so early in life. You can say all you want about enjoying it, that you're glad to do it because it's your job and it's everything you know, but it's obvious that you'd be happier if you didn't have me to worry about. It's not /healthy/, Dean, you should see what else is out there for you. Do you have any idea how /I/ feel when I see you giving up on everything for me?"

Dean remained in silence, not wanting to address to that. He had told Sam many times that he didn’t feel obligated to do things for his brother, but Dean had to stop to think. Maybe he was putting words in his brother’s mouth and maybe he should be making his own choices instead of changing his decisions based on what he thought Sam wanted form him. However, all thoughts left him when Sam asked that stupid, crazy question. He sat up in a rush, looking at Sam in disbelief and for a moment he could only gape at his brother. Explaining what he had meant did nothing to appease Dean’s heart and Dean could only think that he had failed Sammy. “What?” Just imagining that Sam had never been born brought tears to Dean’s eyes and he’d rather die than to live his whole life alone. “How can you even think that?” His voice was so broken, Dean didn’t even recognize it, but he knew it was coming from him. “Sammy.” He started slowly, getting off the bed and walking to where Sam was sitting by the laptop. He then knelt down, not in a way of submitting, but how he had done many times when Sam was a kid and Dean had to make himself crouch to look his brother in the eye, to show him he wasn’t someone to be feared – the fact that Sam was huge now didn’t go through Dean’s mind, because Sam was his /little/ brother and he’d always deal with him like that. “There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.” Dean could feel a tear falling down. “What if you hadn’t been born and I continued doing exactly as dad say? Maybe it wouldn’t be you, but I’d still be trying to impress someone, trying to sacrifice everything for someone, and we know it would have been dad.” Dean took Sam’s hands in his, needing the touch to ground himself. “But, Sam, the worst thing that could ever happen to me would be to lose you. Living in a world without you would only drive me insane. And if I lost you now…” He didn’t even need to think about that, because he knew exactly what he’d do. “Don’t you joke about that, you hear? It has /never/ been a burden to take care of you and I’d do it all again even if mom had lived. You’re mine, Sammy. You’re my responsibility, yeah, but it’s more than that. You’re /mine/. You’re a part of me and I’ll do everything to protect you. Not only because you’re my brother and not only because you’re my lover, but because we belong together. Even if we don’t have anything else, we’ll still have each other, right? And I’ll be happy as long as I have you with me.”

Sam had already predicted that Dean wouldn't take it well. It was even hard to say it, but he didn't see any other solution. If his very existence was the cause of so many sacrifices, how could he not think of himself as a burden? There was no denying that he had upset Dean. What did that say about him? Surely it didn't make Sam a nice person. Even when it wasn't his intention, people around him got hurt. Seeing his brother's tears only added to that; whenever he attempted to fix things, it got worse. "But dad isn't another child. And you only think you can't live without me because you took it upon yourself to revolve your life around mine." Sam didn't even know why he kept trying to prove his suspicions. It /hurt/. He didn't want to hear from Dean that he should have never been born, yet he didn't stop, even as tears came to his eyes. Apparently it cut him deeper than he'd thought and now it was all pouring out. "I'm not saying you'll lose me, I mean if you'd never /had/ me." Sam swallowed thickly, voice failing him. His resolution was crumbling down at Dean's words. It was obviously what he needed to hear, but they weren't alright and what if Dean was saying it simply to soothe him? "I… yes, we'll still have each other." Sam repeated, holding on to that thought. He stopped fighting and surged forward to give his brother a kiss, desperate and watery. "/Never/ believe I'm not thankful for you. But I can't stay quiet when I see that you're unhappy. I need you to stop seeing only my side of the story. God, I /do/ want you here, but please tell me when you're wrong and when you can't do more than you're already doing. I hate it when it looks like my dreams matter more."

Dean opened his mouth to explain exactly why it wouldn’t have been any different with dad, but he thought better of it and closed his mouth. This was one of the things that went into the category of shit that had happened in Dean’s life that Sam didn’t need to know. Not that it was something bad exactly, and Dean most certainly didn’t mind, but he knew it would only make Sam angrier at their dad. But truth was, Dean /had/ taken care of John too. Mainly after Mary died, his father had been hopeless and helpless, but Dean did small things that made sure his father wouldn’t just lose his mind. John hadn’t been a kind, loving father after Mary died, but at least he hadn’t killed himself or drunk himself to sleep because of Dean’s help – and Sam’s too, because Dean would often talk about them as a unit. “I just don’t want to imagine it, Sammy. /Can’t/ imagine. Would you be able to imagine life without me? If I hadn’t been born?” At the question, Dean’s heart ached because the first thing that came into his mind was that his brother would say ‘yes’ – which wouldn’t be a surprise, but that single word would have the power to break Dean in a way that would probably be unfixable. At least Sam confirmed that right now, they were together and they’d always have each other. Dean sighed in relief when Sam kissed him and Dean felt how wet their faces were, but instead of being embarrassed, Dean just brought his hands to Sam’s hair, tugging at it as they desperately kissed. That kiss made Dean relax a bit more, but he was still heartbroken by Sam’s suggestion. When they broke the kiss and Sam kept talking, Dean had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying that Sam’s dreams did matter more than Dean’s life. He didn’t, because that was exactly the point his brother was trying to make. “I’ll try.” He said instead. Because it would still be damn hard to think of himself first instead of trying to do things for Sam. “I’m sorry for shutting you out.” Dean said, standing up and sitting on Sam’s lap just so they could be in the same level – Sam /was/ huge and his neck had been aching from the position on the floor. “I love you, okay? More than anything else in the world and I would never be happy without you, even if you had never been born, I’m sure I’d /know/ there was something missing and I wouldn’t be happy.”

Sam looked down, ashamed of bringing up a question that caused them pain. He immediately shook his head as Dean asked if he could imagine a life without him. Dean was the only constant in his life, the safe haven he knew he could always come back to. "No, of course not. I don't know a life without you watching out for me and I don't want to see how it is." Sam replied sincerely. His move towards independence didn't have anything with pushing his brother away. He would always crave Dean's company – and now that they were in this relationship, he knew he wouldn't feel the same with another person touching him. Wrapping his arms around Dean, Sam sighed in relief. /Trying/ wasn't exactly doing, but he supposed it was the most he could get out of his brother. "You can do it." He said reassuringly. "It's okay, I upset you and you had every right to be defensive. I couldn't let you sleep without talking about this, though. It keeps bad stuff on our minds and it never goes away." Sam made a face at that, but it dissolved into a fond smile at the love confession. "Love you too. And I doubt that's humanly possible, but I'm not gonna say anything since it sounded so sweet." He couldn't even tease, as his own tone was pretty sappy. "I won't talk about that again, I'm glad you proved me wrong." Sam placed another kiss on Dean's lips and then pulled back to look at the laptop. "I think the antivirus worked. I got part of what I wrote back so I'm just gonna leave it at that and ask for help tomorrow. I'm too tired for more of this shit." He sighed, patting Dean's hips. "Eating the rest of that pizza sounds like a good idea now."

Dean ‘s heartbeat calmed down at Sam’s words. Hearing that Sam couldn’t imagine a life without him made Dean’s thoughts a little brighter. Dean knew that it wasn’t just about looking out for Sam. For them, it was deeper than that. Dean sighed in relief when Sam’s arms enveloped him and he closed his eyes, snuggling closer. His brother still smelled a bit like sweat, but Dean was addicted to his brother’s musk so he just nuzzled his ear as he held him tighter. He was still unsure if he could focus on his own desires if he ever had to choose between doing something for his brother or himself, so he couldn’t exactly promise that. “Thanks for not giving up on me, Sammy.” Dean said sincerely. It didn’t matter that Sam said he had every right to be defensive, in the end, his reaction would always cost them so much. Thankfully, Sam didn’t just give up on their conversation. Dean doubted he’d face Sam naturally after tonight, but his brother was still there. Maybe Sam’s approach wasn’t the best, because really? Asking if it would have been better for Dean if he had never been born? He was insane. But it shook Dean enough to bring all his walls down once more. “Can we… stay like this a while longer?” Dean murmured against Sam’s ear when he mentioned going back for the pizza. Dean just needed to feel Sam close, to hold him and smell him and feel his heartbeat. “I know I don’t believe in this kind of stuff, but…” Dean started, licking his lips before speaking. Admitting such a thing to Sam meant too much and Dean was slightly embarrassed, which only made him snuggle closer, hiding his face from Sam’s. “I have no idea how but maybe we /are/ meant for each other. I’m not trying to be sappy or romantic, I’m just being serious. And that’s… That’s why I think I’d still think there was something missing in my life if you hadn’t been born. It’s more than what we’ve been through, don’t you think?” His voice wasn’t louder than a whisper, but he was sure his brother had heard him. He just stayed there on Sam’s lap for a while longer before slowly taking his arms from around Sam and hopping off his lap. “Let’s go back for the pizza, then?”

Sam simply hummed in response. He would never give up on Dean, especially when he knew he needed to reach out. It was partially for himself too, as he couldn't relax with Dean being mad or upset at him. Sam never tried to apologize when he ended up fighting with John, but it was completely different with his brother. "Oh, yeah. It's nice like this." He agreed, squeezing Dean's body against his. Much better than pizza. After the emotional rollercoaster they went through, Sam was taking any opportunity to revel in Dean's warmth. Things were getting better; the laptop could be fixed and they listened to each other's point of view even when it hurt. Now their love was talking louder again. Sam's heart skipped a beat when his brother proceeded to say that he did believe they were somehow meant to be together. "Putting it that way, yes, I believe it too." He smiled widely, resisting the urge to giggle. "We've always had this connection, it can't just because we were forced to be close. I think we'd end up in each other's arms anyway. And if there were ever lives before this one, we were together then too." Sam wasn't sure he believed in reincarnation, but he didn't rule it out either. He had learned years ago to keep an open mind because you can never know which myths will end up being true. He did believe that people had souls, that they went to Heaven and Hell, and maybe some of these souls were bounded forever, like theirs. Sam was pulled out from his thoughts when Dean slipped from his lap. He nearly pouted, but the suggestion to get more pizza was enough to cheer him up. He took Dean's hand and led him back to the kitchen. "No cold pizza, I'm gonna heat it up." Sam put the remaining pieces in the microwave and then brought two beers to the table. They deserved it after all. Taking back the pizza, he sat down and smiled up at Dean, falling back into their domesticity.

Dean was grateful that his brother was willing to spoil him with a bit more of cuddle time before they had to untangle themselves, although part of him doubted that Sam would be able to deny it. But with only that meaningful hug, Dean already felt more at ease. “I don’t know about past or future lives, but right now, I’m meant to be with you. I already felt bound to you when you were born, having to grow up as close as we did only reinforced that, but it wasn’t the reason for it.” Dean didn’t know what to believe. He didn’t like to believe things like a God, and admitting that they were meant to be like soulmates, it meant that /someone/ had done it. Unless every soul was already born with a significant other somewhere in the world and it was rare to be found. But Dean didn’t want to think too much about that. The fact was: they were meant to be and no one would ever be able to interfere with their connection and that was enough to appease Dean. They went to the kitchen together and Dean just smiled at Sam heating the pizza. He dragged a chair close to the other so he’d sit by Sam’s side while their knees and arms brushed once they were both seated. He wasn’t exactly hungry, but he wasn’t full either, so he took a bite when Sam brought back the pizza. He ate the pizza with one hand as with the other he reached for Sam’s hand and held it. Dean didn’t feel like talking at that moment, relishing on their silence and the calmness they managed to be in, so he just took advantage of that. He ate two more slices of pizza and drank one of the beers before leaning sideward and resting his head against Sam’s shoulder. “Sammy.” He said his brother’s voice with fondness, but he had no idea what to say. He just wanted to stay close to Sam. “Let’s go back to bed?” He wasn’t suggesting sex and it was clear by his voice, but he wanted to lie down and give Sam an octopus hug. There was nothing better than keep touching when they had been in distress, and while they were okay now, Dean still starved for this kind of contact.

Sam nodded, accepting that the present was the most important thing. He used to think that they had fallen in love because of the weird circumstances growing up, but now he could see a deeper meaning. Whenever he tried to pull away, he always came back to Dean and then felt complete. Sam was aware that their powerful connection differed from what some other couples had. He toyed with Dean's fingers as they ate, even the taste of the pizza being better after the fight was over. They managed to finish it together and Sam drank the last sip of his beer as his brother rested on his shoulder. He smiled at the nickname, sounding so soft from those lips. "Yeah, let's go." It was still a little early to sleep, but they could use a good cuddling session to make up for a stressful day. Pressing a kiss to Dean's temple, Sam stood up. He pulled Dean with him on the way to the bed, unwilling to ever let go of him. As they got into bed, he even brought the clean sheets on top of them, making it as warm and comfortable as it could be. "Hmm, I needed this." Sam sighed, wrapping his arms around his brother and tangling their legs together. Sure, the kinky sex had been great, but they were still arguing after that. He hoped this would bring the calmness they needed to let go of the bad thoughts. "I'll love you forever. I know things seem rough when we fight and I hate it too, but I don't ever want to lose this. I'll always try to make it better and keep our relationship." Sam mumbled, voicing out his reasons to always push a conversation. "It's better to argue and resolve it than hold grudges."

Dean hummed when Sam agreed to join him in bed and he stood up a moment after Sam, following him to the bed. He gave his brother a small smile when he covered them with the sheets and could only agree that they both needed this. Once they were tangled up with each other, Dean let his eyes fall closed. They were in a blissful silence until Sam broke it to reassure Dean of his love. This made Dean open his eyes and look at Sam because it felt important to show that he was paying attention. “I know. And I’ll always love you too, y’know that, right?” Dean brought a hand to Sam’s hair, petting it lovingly. “I’m just me and you know how I react to things. But you’re right, it’s better to talk things through instead of letting them slide and feeling worse later.” He knew Sam was right, just like he knew it would still be a struggle for himself to stop with his insecurities and his urge to receive compliments and praise. It would be hard for him to put his dreams and desires in the first place and it would be difficult for him to not put his walls up when they fought. But Sam /was/ right. In the end, they were bound to each other and no fight, no argument would be enough to break them. “I’m glad one of us has enough touch to try to solve things. It could be worse.” Dean half shrugged and then nuzzled Sam’s ear, smelling his brother once more. “I did lie earlier. I am one of the best in my class. And engineering is not that bad, but it’s not my dream either.” Not that Dean had a dream job, but if he ended up working as an engineer, he would probably be a good one like Sam had said. He thought it was only fair to be honest with his brother, although Sam already knew the truth. “It’s not a big deal, though. I’m studying hard because of you.” He wanted Sam to be proud of him, but he didn’t want to admit that out loud.

Sam hummed contently, leaning towards Dean's hand in his hair. Yes, he knew that Dean would always love him. In the midst of everything that came and went in his life, that was permanent. "I know why you react like that. I don't blame you for trying to run from talking about your feelings." Sam wouldn't say more than that as to avoid another fight, but he put the whole blame on the way they were raised. He was trying to make his brother understand that it was okay to talk about things that upset him, especially when it was between the two of them. "Well, you've always encouraged me to do things my way, of course I take it upon myself to solve our problems." Sam said lightly. He opened up a big smile when Dean admitted he was one of the best in his class. "I knew it! I'm so proud of you." He said excitedly, kissing Dean on the corner of his lips and then centering it better for another one. That was the right reaction for awesome news like that. "I'm always telling you how much you can do when you put your mind to it. And one of the best in engineering… who's the nerd now?" Sam teased playfully, pinching his brother's side. He was happy and incredibly proud of Dean, it was a good thing that they could celebrate it properly now. "You can still find your dream. I'll be right there to support you. Even if you realize that college isn't for you, it's your decision. I'm glad you're enjoying it somewhat." Sam paused as Dean said once again that he was doing it for him. "And I love that about you. Anyone would be lucky to have your devotion. I just don't like it when it turns into something bad for you." He slid a hand up and cradled his brother's jaw. "I'm really happy that you're putting that much effort into it. You could tell me those things more often, too. I always share when I score good grades."

Dean just smile at Sam’s comment. Of course his brother would understand him and know exactly what went through his mind even though many times Dean didn’t understand it himself. It wasn’t easier for them, but it was better than only having misunderstandings. He hoped he could be the one solving the problems, though. Dean was the big brother, he was the one expected to solve all problems, regardless of what it was about, but when it came to their relationship, maybe it should be better to leave it in Sam’s hands. Sam wasn’t perfect with it, but Dean was definitely worse. Dean snapped back to reality when he saw Sam’s delighted face and he blinked a couple of times, not expecting that reaction from his brother. When he said he was proud, Dean felt himself blushing and he was about to duck his head and hide at the curve of Sam’s neck when his brother kissed the corner of his lips. He was still baffled by it, but then there was a second kiss, a better one and Dean knew he probably was beet-red. He squirmed a little as his brother pinched his side and a smile spread over his face even without his consent, but he was genuinely happy that Sam seemed too happy about him. “/You/’re my dream, Sammy. I don’t need to have a dream job to be happy. I need to have you.” He commented. Not all people were interested in pursuing a partner in their lives, so probably there were people like him who didn’t have any idea of what job to pursue because that wasn’t the goal of their lives. Dean knew he’d be good as long as he had Sammy, though. Dean leaned into the touch against his jaw and then blinked a couple of times before speaking. “I didn’t want to brag. I… didn’t want to sound like I wanted you to say something.” He finally admitted and snuggled closer to Sam. He pressed another kiss to Sam’s lips before tugging Sam’s head under his chin. Dean felt good at that moment and he wondered why they had to fight earlier. He just hoped things would remain good for a while at least.

Sam was even more pleased as he noticed Dean's blush, not letting him hide away. Then it was his turn to get a little flustered at those words. He couldn't believe how easily Dean put his existence above all else in life. Sure, Sam loved his brother more than the whole world, but he still had dreams of his own. Being Dean's own dream was both lovely and a big responsibility. He accepted it gladly, though, and took it as his duty to make Dean happy in the process. "You'll always have me." Sam assured. As long as they wanted to be together, it would be that way. He stroked his thumb over Dean's cheek, watching him with a fond look. "But you /did/ want me to, didn't you?" Sam asked softly, not to sound accusing but to show that he understood it. "There's nothing wrong with that. I do the same thing when I tell you about my studies. I mean, who are we going to celebrate it with if not with each other? It's us against the world." He nuzzled into his brother's neck, taking the comfort offered through their embrace. Sam fell silent for a long moment and he wondered if they were going to sleep like that, but he wasn't free of all the tension that had built up over the day. "Do you mind if I wear my collar for a while too?" He had to ask for Dean's opinion, even though he wanted it. It would probably help him relax and at the same time it could remind Dean of the power he had over him. "It doesn't need to lead to sex or anything overly kinky, I just need the safety of being yours."

Dean breathed his brother’s scent in with his eyes closed and he was glad Sam was determined to remain by his side so he’d keep him happy. Dean had never wished for crazy things – maybe when he was younger and he wanted to be a firefighter or a rock star, but all those dreams were too silly – and he didn’t mind that he didn’t yearn for something more. For now, he was still adapting to fact that they were settling down, that they were a couple and once school was over, they’d have a /home/. Dean knew he might have other dreams before they graduated, but now his focus was still completely on Sam. He also knew that once they had their own place and started living as a couple, things would change and he would end up having other dreams. But Dean knew that there was no reason to dream if he didn’t have Sammy. “I’m not used to compliments, you know that. And I don’t want to ask for them. But yeah, I did want them.” Dean finished in a low voice, embarrassed to admit such a thing. However, Dean liked the sound of that; ‘them against the world’ seemed wonderful and Dean squeezed Sam’s body against his even more because of that. When Sam proposed to wear the collar, Dean actually shivered. It wasn’t because he instantly thought about sex – which was only partially true – but because Sam was putting it in his hands to claim him as his. “Before that…” Dean started, licking his lips. “I just wanted to make sure you understood that what we did earlier /was/ great. Okay?” Dean waited for a while, but then he stood up and went to catch Sam’s collar. When he returned, he let the collar slip around Sam’s neck softly and then he fastened it. Looking at his brother as he wore the collar made Dean’s heart beat crazily and Dean pulled Sam for a kiss. Just a soft, romantic kiss, but he needed to kiss him.

Sam nodded, running a hand up Dean's back. He should throw more random compliments in their conversations, knowing that Dean was embarrassed of asking for them. "I'll remember that." Sam whispered. He looked up as his brother said he wanted to make a point before they got the collar. "I know. It was great for me too." He smiled warmly. "When I saw that you were upset, I though it could be because of the things I said during sex, but then I realized it wasn't that. I know what you like and it was pretty obvious you were enjoying yourself." Sam tried not to let it turn into lust, but it was almost impossible as he recalled Dean's reactions to his touch. It was a relief to see Dean walking away to get the collar and he sat up to make it easier to put it on. Sam closed his eyes, feeling the velvet lining against his neck. He hummed as his brother's lips found his, the simple contact speaking volumes to him. "You said I'm yours. Not just your brother or lover, but yours." Sam mumbled, repeating the words that had finally soothed him. Dean had a way of getting under his skin and reaching into his heart without any effort. Right now, he wanted to give in to that. "You should know I'll always give you what you ask of me. You do it for and I'm grateful for that, but you have me completely too." Sam wasn't sure if he was allowed to speak, but he guessed that whatever they were going to do it wasn't settled yet. He had to say those things and see what Dean would do about it, if he could accept it by seeing it done.

Dean didn’t know what to think of that, but he didn’t ask either. Maybe his brother was planning to compliment him more often or even asking him about his studies and Dean didn’t know if he should be worried or happy about it. Undecided on what to do, Dean chose to remain silent. Whatever happened after this conversation would happen, regardless of what Dean tried to do. Thankfully, Dean could think of something else at that moment as Sam explained that he understood. He sighed in relief, because he didn’t want Sam to think that he had somehow spoiled their sexy time – what if Sam denied to do it again in the future? Dean could have none of it, so it was important that Sam understood that the sex had been incredible and had nothing to do with their fight. “You /are/ mine. Just like I’m yours.” Dean said with a small smile.  Then he had to bite his own lower lip as Sam said he’d do anything for him and he nodded after a while. He knew that, but it was easier to agree with that than actually accept that when time came. They’d deal with it another time, though. If it ever came to a time when Sam had to do something for Dean, he’d try his hardest to let his brother make a sacrifice or two for him – he couldn’t promise, though, so he remained quiet once more, at least regarding that. He put a hand above Sam’s heart and with the other he took one of his brother’s hand and put it above his own heart. “It’s more than being possessive and belonging to each other. But yeah, I know we’ll do anything we can for each other and I don’t doubt you’d do it for me. I just hope it never comes a time when you /need/ to do something for me, but I know you will.” Dean reassured him, leaning forward and resting their foreheads together. In that moment, Dean was overcome with love and it was almost too much to bear, so there was only one way to cope with it. “May I make love to you?”

Sam nodded, taking in the reminder that they belonged to each other. He was waiting for Dean to argue that he couldn't accept his willingness to sacrifice whatever he had to because of his brother, there weren't negative comments. Sam let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Honestly, I hope we'll never need it, but I'm offering anyway. You've done a lot for me. And don't say it wasn't a problem or that you'd gladly do it again, I already know that. I love your blind devotion to me." He stood there unmoving, feeling Dean's heartbeat beneath his hand. At the question, Sam blinked up and pulled back a few inches to look at his brother. "You don't have to ask." He replied, sliding a hand over the collar to remind Dean of that. Well, he would want it even without the collar. "But yes, make love to me." Sam whispered, the reply sounding more like a plea. He wasn't told what he could or couldn't do, so he guessed that the collar would remain as a simple accessory to show that he was Dean's, nothing too kinky. Sam didn't mind either way, he simply wanted the collar to ground him, to be a physical proof that he had long ago given himself completely to his brother. He shifted to take his underwear off before lying down, bare and needy for Dean. "You can touch me however you please. Let it be a promise and a gift that I'm happy to be yours and I'll always long to make /you/ happy." The fear that Dean didn't believe in his love loomed over Sam's mind, he was doing everything to show how strong it really was.

Dean smiled at Sam and easily agreed with him. If their plans went well, there would be no need for any more sacrifices. They’d make each other happy by doing exactly what they wanted without having to give up hopes and dreams. “I do have to ask.” Dean shook his head slowly, as if Sam was trying to be dense. After their fight and arguments and the rollercoaster of emotions, Dean didn’t want to simply assume that they were going to have sex, regardless of how they did it. But with Sam’s consent, Dean didn’t need much more to go on. Not that he needed to do anything, because Sam was taking his underwear and Dean decided to do the same, fumbling until he was on his knees in between Sam’s legs, having a nice view of his brother’s body. He was already hard, but he really couldn’t be blamed when he had Sam spread on the bed for him. “God, you’re so beautiful.” Dean whispered and a couple of seconds later he snorted. “You must be tired of me saying it over and over, sorry.” Dean said, bringing a hand to Sam’s stomach and running it to Sam’s chest, feeling the firm muscles and the hard bones under his hand. “But I never tire to look at you. You’re so big, so grown up.” It should have bothered Dean that Sam was actually taller than him, but his brother was gorgeous like that, so he couldn’t feel envious. “Your skin’s so smooth and pretty. So much skin.” He chuckled to himself as he kept running his hands over Sam’s chest and stomach. It amazed Dean how handsome his brother had become – although it wasn’t a surprise, after all, their genes were great when it came to beauty. “I love your body. Y’know that, right? I love all of it, not only your dick and your ass, but all of it. I wish I could spend more time worshipping you, Sammy.” Dean said with a smile, leaning forward and planting a kiss above Sam’s navel. He then started licking up, until he reached a nipple and he sucked it into his mouth, working his tongue over the small nub.

Sam sighed, not up to protest yet again when it was actually cute that Dean had asked for permission even though the collar was supposed to give it away. They were tense before that and it could be that one of them wouldn't want sex so soon – luckily it wasn't the case. Dean's compliment made him blush and it had to be very noticeable as he was completely exposed. "Oh no, never stop saying that." Sam chuckled, pushing through the embarrassment. Of course he would never tire of hearing his brother say how beautiful he was or having those hands making the same statement physically. He almost pointed out that he'd never thought Dean would like that he was taller, but he realized it was better to stay quiet and benefit from it. Sam hummed, his muscles relaxing under Dean's roaming hands. "Hmm, I wouldn't complain about that." If they started counting, Dean usually took more time to worship Sam's body than the other way around. He wasn't sure why that happened, before he knew it he was under Dean, showered with affection. "You're good at making your point, Dean." Sam breathed in deeply as his brother licked a line up his stomach. He moaned when it reached his nipple, lips closing around it just to tease, he was sure. "C'mon, aren't you gonna make love to me?" Sam urged, arching up and wrapping his legs around Dean's waist. Yes, being thoroughly worshipped was great, but he needed more, counting on lust and heat to finally wash over the bad thoughts of the day. He probably wouldn't push it so hard if he meant to submit, but it didn't look like they would get into one of those games. And if they did… well, it was still worth it.

Dean liked the blush on his brother’s body, it meant he enjoyed what Dean was saying and doing and it was an actual relief because as much as Dean didn’t want to stop worshipping Sam, he also didn’t want to sound like a broken record. “I won’t then. I wouldn’t be able to stop anyway.” Dean smiled, being completely honest. Sam also seemed to like the idea of being worshipped – well, who wouldn’t like it? – so there was nothing to be sorry for. He chuckled at his brother’s comment, but then as he was starting to go from one nipple to the other, Sam’s legs suddenly wrapped around him, pulling them together. Dean moaned, but stopped. He then looked into his brother’s eyes and licked his lips slowly. “I /am/ making love to you.” He then brought a hand to Sam’s leg and pulled it down, then did the same with the other. “/I/ am in charge here and I’m going to worship the living shit out of you and you’ll just lie back and enjoy. And when I feel like it, I’ll let you come.” Saying so, Dean latched his mouth to Sam’s nipple once more, hands holding Sam’s hips down, but didn’t dislodge their hips together. However, he didn’t move or try to get off. No, it wasn’t important in that moment. Right then, Dean just wanted to kiss and lick Sam’s body as he said loving words to him. Dean wasn’t planning on being dominating and it wasn’t because of the collar either, but these things put together did help Dean do what he wanted and that was to make love to Sam. He was mostly teasing now, he knew that once he started fucking Sam he’d be a little more desperate, but now he could do this calmly. “I love the way you taste, Sammy.” Dean whispered, blowing cool air over Sam’s wet nipple. He then started nibbling and sucking at Sam’s shoulder, but he kept on saying sweet nothing. “I love this. I love being this close to you, you’re so warm, so hot. Pun not intended, but completely true anyway. I love the marks I leave in you and the way you smell. God, your musk is the best thing.” To make his point, Dean sniffed at Sam’s neck, a bit above his collar, and then he sighed in delight.

Sam licked his lips, feeling a bit smug since Dean couldn't resist touching his whole body. He didn't hate his appearance, but he was self-conscious sometimes. All that disappeared when Dean was whispering sweet words and loving him shamelessly. Sam's breath hitched as his brother suddenly stopped and he wondered if he'd gone too far with his complaint. Luckily Dean only pushed his legs back down and then talked in the hottest tone he'd ever heard. Sam shivered at the thought of waiting for Dean's mercy to let him come. "Yes, okay." He nodded quickly, unable to deny anything. It wasn't so bad, anyway. Sam could use a lot more than that, raw pleasure and rough hands, but focusing on the little things was also amazing. He had Dean holding him down and their hips were slotted together. Even without the friction Sam desperately wanted, he could feel the heat radiating from his brother. His strings were pulled too tight and any simple move earned easy reactions. He shuddered and groaned softly as Dean teased him with cold air, the contrast too hard on his sensitive skin. And the words never stopped. Sam listened intently to everything Dean said he liked about him, the quiet voice filling up his mind as if no other sound mattered. It really didn't. He wrapped his arms around Dean, one hand splayed over his back and the other going up to short hair. "I love having your hands and your mouth on me. I love getting /your/ smell on me." Sam was practically babbling, words leaving his mouth before he could think twice. He held his brother impossibly close, doing his best not to arch his body towards him and risk being called out again. "Dean, I just… I really need you. Don't stop wanting me."

Dean didn’t say anything about Sam’s hands going around him, but it wasn’t exactly something bad. Sam probably just needed to feel more of him and Dean didn’t have the heart to deny him this. Not to mention that he was still following his instructions. However, when Sam basically begged him not to stop wanting him, Dean raised his head and looked at his brother, determination written all over his face. “Sammy, I could never stop wanting you. You’re the only one I need, the one I love, there’s no one I want more than you, and I’ll cherish you forever, worship you whenever I can, because you’re mine. You’re mine and we belong together, like this.” At that, Dean kissed Sam deeply. It was intense and filled with his love and devotion, but it was also a bit filthy with a bit too much tongue and desperation. After a moment, Dean thrust his hips into Sam’s, cocks sliding together and he moaned into the kiss. He wanted to go slower, but Sam’s needy plea drove Dean insane. “God, Sammy, the things you do to me.” He said into his brother’s mouth, but got back to kissing again, hips still working to get them some friction. After a while, Dean finally broke the kiss and he had to stop moving his hips otherwise he’d come too soon. He smiled at Sam before fumbling with the lube. Dean crawled back a little, just enough so he’d be facing his brother’s cock and with a lubed finger circling his hole, Dean closed his mouth around Sam. He hummed before swallowing him hole at the same time he let a finger slide inside him. It wasn’t even half of the things Dean wanted to do to Sam – he still wanted to kiss and touch his whole body – but he could do that later, they’d have the rest of their lives together anyway, and at that moment he just wanted to please Sam and get him ready for something even better. However, he made sure to work on Sam’s body slowly, still yearning to worship him. So he slowly fingered Sam with only one finger, dragging his finger in and out, rubbing from time to time the tip over the bundle of nerves that would make Sammy writhe.

Sam didn't intend to sound desperate or overly clingy, but whenever they got into fights he feared pushing his brother away. It could be that someday he would get too angry and say things far too harsh that Dean would finally have enough and give up on him. Sam needed to know it wasn't happening now. He got more than he could have asked for, Dean's words reassuring their never-ending affection. The kiss brought up a fire within him and he responded in the same intensity, pressing their bodies together as tongues clashed. "I love you, there's no one else for me." Sam said with certainty. It wasn't a silly romantic thought, but a truth. No one could know him deeply or affect him as much as Dean did. The physical attraction was the least important, although there was surely a lot of that between them. "I'm not doing anything, /you're/ taking the lead." Sam smirked lightly. He knew what a bit of begging and moaning could do, but he was putting his brother in control and therefore couldn't be held responsible for their eagerness. He sighed as Dean took the lube and moved down his body, finally about to do more. Sam just didn't expect it to be /that/ much more. He let out a breathy moan as Dean's hot mouth closed around his cock and a finger entered him, overwhelming stimulation after a while of teasing. Sam didn't move, but he twisted his fingers on the sheets and couldn't avoid squirming with the random rubbing motions on his prostate. "Dean, fuck, you're gonna be the death of me." He whimpered. "I don't wanna come before I have you inside me, you gotta give it to me."

Dean would never tire of hearing Sam saying those words. Their love could be unconditional and they could show it in many ways – physically, with other words, with looks, with thoughts – but hearing those three words still made Dean’s heart beat a little bit faster, his stomach be invaded by butterflies and a warmth spread all over his body. It was silly and he’d be mocked if he admitted those things out loud. He wasn’t ashamed of saying the same three words, but he was embarrassed of how he felt when he heard them. He shouldn’t care though, because Sam was just replying to the things he had been saying. “Hell yeah, I am.” Dean agreed that he was in charge, but all the things he did was /because/ of Sam. Even though he was going to do things at his pace, but he was doing it because he wanted to touch, taste and please his brother. It felt good to have such power over Sammy, hear the way he was enjoying being sucked and fingered, see his face from under his eyelashes and find ecstasy and lust, and even feel the slight shiver from his body that he tried to stay still as much as he could. He let go of Sam’s cock just to smirk at him. “You’re /not/ going to come. I said you’d only come when I let you, and I might be sucking you off, but you’re not allowed to come yet.” Dean said, taking Sam’s dick once more into his mouth as he finally added a second finger into him. The pace was still torturously slow and dragging, but that was the whole point. He wanted to drive Sam mad with desperation before he could let him come and hopefully he’d only lose it once he was inside him. Although, he would probably continue even if his brother came once. They were still young, he knew his brother would recover quickly if that was the case.

Sam loved seeing Dean get confident when they were in bed. It was different than the confidence put up as a facade for other people; here Dean knew what he was doing and he wasn't afraid of using his tricks to do it well. Sam had already accepted that he was ruined for anyone but his brother, but it somehow got better and better. He shuddered at the commanding tone, understanding too late what Dean was trying to do. The whole point was to take him to the edge and not let him come, which should sound cruel but increased his desire. If that was what Dean wanted from him, Sam would give it. It wasn't like that was much of a sacrifice. It would be good to see how far they could take his body before he was begging for release. One thing he knew for sure was that he'd follow Dean's orders – it was his duty while wearing the collar. "I won't. Only when you let me." Sam confirmed, voice ending in a gasp as his brother swallowed him again. He didn't even have to worry much about relaxing for Dean's fingers, it was so slow and gentle that his body welcomed it easily – in fact, he would love to take more soon, but he wasn't going to ask for it. Dean probably wouldn't mind that much and end up giving what he wanted, but Sam was set on being obedient now. The bedroom was the only place he could do it without wanting to rebel, because it was all about his own desires and Dean always took care of him. "You're so good to me." Sam whispered, rolling his hips once as the combination of Dean's fingers and mouth sparked a wave of lust.

Dean ‘s arousal multiplied when Sam agreed to comply. Sam usually tended to rebel and avoided following orders, even when it was clear that he should. He knew most of the time was involuntary, but hearing Sam agree to that once made Dean more desperate to please him. He sucked a bit harder around Sam’s cock, but made sure not to stimulate his prostate so much, because he didn’t want him to come just yet. When Sam rolled his hips and said those words, Dean couldn’t help but moan, swallowing Sam whole for a last time before taking his cock out. He was panting slightly from the arousal fogging his mind, but he didn’t stop for a second, mouth already opening to get one of Sam’s balls into his mouth. He sucked and licked and played with it for a moment before doing the same with the other one. Once he was satisfied with his work, Dean continued licking down, and as he worked a third finger into Sam, he started circling Sam’s hole with his tongue. Just then Dean started spreading his fingers inside Sam, scissoring his brother carefully, tongue working all around the taut muscle, sliding inside when his brother was well spread. “Tell me how much you like this, Sammy. Tell me how much you want me, how much you want more.” Dean was not far from just lubing himself up and entering Sam, but he wanted to keep teasing him as much as he could, he wanted Sam to talk, to lure Dean to not take it anymore – if Sam could talk at all. Sam wasn’t the biggest talker in bed, but he had gotten better at it with time and now Dean was just asking a few questions. Hopefully, Sam would be able to answer them.

Sam groaned shamelessly, seeking some relief in voicing out what he felt. Dean was sucking him hard, but the fingers working inside him weren't giving him too much and he was thankful for that. He didn't think he'd hold out for long if Dean put all his skills into those ministrations. Sam had his eyes closed but he opened them again as his brother's mouth ventured lower. He gasped and ran a hand through Dean's hair, feeling him literally play with his balls. It was that sweet torture between too much and not enough. Another finger slid into him and Sam threw his head back with a moan. Dean's tongue also followed, circling around his hole and even slipping inside, which earned a light yelp from him. And when he thought he would get what he wanted at last, Dean asked him to speak. "Your fingers are so good, you reach deep and… know how to use them, it just loses to your cock, because damn…" Sam sighed, but didn't let that distract him. "And then your tongue… God, I get more sensitive wherever you put it. It's great sliding over my dick, but I also go crazy with what you can do when you bring it down to my hole." It seemed like once he'd started talking he couldn't stop. "I want you to fuck me, want it so bad." Sam squirmed, pushing his hips down to feel Dean's fingers deep inside him. "I want you to show me how much I can take before you think I deserve to come, I'm completely at your mercy." The mere thought made his heart race. "Fuck, I need you now, all of you, please. I'll be good and do anything you ask, just give me more."

Dean couldn’t believe it at first that Sam was actually talking and answering the questions. He felt excited and proud and wanted more, but for now he just kept working on Sam’s body as he heard everything his brother had to say about him. He loved the descriptions Sammy was making, letting things even more real and it was wonderful to know exactly what Sam felt when Dean licked him or fingered him or even fucked him. All those words amazed Dean and by the end of Sam’s pleas, Dean didn’t want to do anything else but to fuck him senseless. And that was what he did. He raised to his knees and got closer, fingers slipping free from Sam as he grabbed the lube and coated his cock with it. As he positioned himself on Sam’s entrance, Dean looked at Sam and licked his lips. “I’m gonna fuck you, Sammy. Hard and fast and you /won’t/ come until I say so. Can you do it for me, Sammy? Can you be a good boy and not come until I let you?” Dean leant forward just enough to brush his lips against Sam’s. Without further ado, Dean slowly started to breach Sam out with his cock and he groaned at the tightness around him. It was clear that his brother was relaxed, but he was still snugged deliciously by Sam’s walls – and he felt so warm, so wonderful. “God, I love being inside you. I fit perfectly inside you, don’t you think?” Dean snapped his hips in, making his whole cock disappear inside Sam. “I love how connected we are like this.” Dean started moving his hips slowly every once in a while snapping his hips forward to draw more pleasure from Sammy. “Do you feel it, Sammy? Can you feel how deep our love is?”

Sam had every intention of spurring Dean with his words and he was glad to see the effect. Although it also had its toll on him, as everything he described seemed to be more intense when he felt it. The growing desire was one of those things and it was a relief when Dean showed they were about to move on. Sam whimpered softly, nodding to his brother's words. God, it sounded amazing, he couldn't wait to take it. The easiness of speech he'd had just moments before was compromised and he could only moan as Dean pushed into him. "Yes, big brother, I'll do it for you." Sam managed to say, but his voice was wavering. He knew he could do it, making good use of his keenness to give Dean everything. "You do– oh fuck!" Sam gasped, grasping his brother's shoulders as the quick thrust jostled his body. He moaned contently, soaking up the pleasure. He circled his legs around Dean, just to hold him close, not trying to control his movements. Anyway, it was already the way he wanted it, why would he change anything? Dean was going slow but taking out louder moans from Sam whenever he picked up the pace. And the words spilling from Dean's lips were unbelievably sexy. Talking about how deeply connected they were sounded /dirty/, but oh so sweet. Sam couldn't help but agree. "Yeah, I can feel it. I can feel /you/." He clenched around his brother at that, showing he could give as much as he took in this game. "Fucking love having you inside me, being connected to you. It's body and soul like this." It was perhaps a far too romantic thought for dirty talk, but Sam felt like their sex was so great because their souls were meant to be like this; united.

Dean had thought he was going to be in control, that he’d be the one in charge, but as soon as Sam called him ‘big brother’, Dean fucking lost it. It was highly unfair that Sammy was calling him that when he had the intention to drag this out, to take things slow and just let him come because they were both writhing in desperation to reach orgasm. But now, Dean just wanted to thrust quickly and frantically into Sam. Not wanting to be spoiled, though, Dean just stopped moving altogether, trying to breathe. “Yeah.” Dean gasped out, agreeing that what they were doing was beyond physical. They already had a huge understanding of each other just by looking to each other, not to mention that many times they already knew what the other’s reaction to something would be, but this, /sex/, was actually a form of uniting them that Dean wouldn’t doubt that their souls were fusing in that moment. Because it felt unreal, like nothing had ever felt before to Dean. “Yeah, fuck, /yeah/.” At that, Dean couldn’t contain himself and he resumed his pacing, this time going faster. Not enough to be frantic yet, like he wanted, but enough to pound repeatedly over Sam’s prostate. Dean could only gasp and groan at that moment, so much love and desire and the suspicion that there was something more between them than just that. Draping himself over Sam, Dean started biting and sucking at Sam’s shoulder as his arms went around his brother to hold him even closer to himself. “God, I love you so much, Sammy.” Dean continued marking Sam with some quite sharp bites, but he didn’t even notice that, too focused in pleasuring them both. “My baby brother, love you so much.”

Sam whined in protest when Dean stopped moving. No, that was the opposite of what they should be doing and he wondered if he had said something wrong. He clawed at Dean's back, trying to touch him all over. Sam was sure he would have to beg again, but then his brother resumed moving and he groaned in response. It was so much better now that they were going faster and yet he knew that Dean could go rougher if he wanted to. But this was already breath-taking, loud sounds of pleasure spilling unbidden from Sam's lips at every thrust into his prostate. The sting of Dean's teeth on his shoulder was more than welcome, the kind of pain that fueled his lust. He was thinking of the bite marks and hickeys it would leave behind, colorful spots on his skin that he would admire later in the mirror. "Love you too, love you, Dean." Sam said desperately, as if those words couldn't explain it properly. And it was most likely true. What they had couldn't be held down into simple words, but then how to say it? Sam did so by holding his brother close, hands gripping with no intention of letting go. The aching on his shoulder mixed with the pleasure in his whole body and he was only pushing through the need to come because Dean had told him to wait for permission. Sam's moan nearly became a sob when he was called baby brother. Dean had to know what it did to him. "I'm yours. Your baby brother, your lover, your slave… all for you."

Dean knew he wouldn’t last much longer. It would be impossible anyway, with the way Sam sounded and how he scratched at Dean’s back as if his life depended on it, which Dean didn’t doubt, not when he had ordered Sam not to come until he said he could. But maybe it was time to let things go and his pace became frantic and he wanted to bite and kiss Sam all over, but he was limited to his shoulder and part of his neck. Squeezing Sam tighter at his brother’s words, Dean moaned before kissing him almost as frantically as he fucked into him. “Fuck, Sam. Sammy, God, you’re all mine. /All/ mine.” Dean groaned, biting on Sam’s lower lip, sucking it and then licking it before moving to his jawline, biting and sucking without measuring his strength. He could feel his orgasm quickly approaching and if he really wanted to drag this out he could slow down and let the waves of overwhelming pleasure go by before he returned with the punishing pace. But he wanted to come and he knew Sam needed to come too. Besides, they could always play with orgasm denial at another time. After the day they had, coming and feeling the bliss of the aftermath was essential, so Dean made his decision. “You think you can come with me?” Dean gasped out the words, pace almost violently as he sook his orgasm. “I want you to come /with/ me. Not before, not after, but at the same time. You think you can do that?” Dean knew he couldn’t possibly ask this of him, but it wasn’t all that impossible either because it had happened before. It wouldn’t mind, in the end, if Sam came slightly before or after Dean, but he just needed the feeling of coming together, of reaching bliss as one. “God, I’m gonna come, Sammy. Come with me, /come with me/.” And at that, he moaned loudly, coming deep inside his brother, eyes tightly shut.

Sam wasn't embarrassed for expressing his love like that, as he couldn't hide the truth. He believed that his place was beside Dean, for everything they represented together. The world out there could judge them, but it wasn't their fault if no one else understood their love. It was greater than the sin people would accuse them of. Dean's thrusts went frantic and Sam lost it with him, not bothering to tone down his moans. He nodded to those words as they kissed, sharp bites adding a bit of delicious pain to it. He encouraged Dean to do it with a hand on the back of his head, letting him attack whatever inch of skin was exposed from his jaw down to his shoulder. Sam didn't stop gripping his brother's back, but he couldn't even control his own movements, just reacting as Dean fucked him hard and fast. His concentration was on not coming before he was allowed to, which was getting more and more difficult. He just wanted to let go, so when Dean asked if he could come with him, he nodded avidly. "Yeah. Yeah, I can, just tell me when." Sam gasped at the end of his sentence, taking his brother's rough pace. It would be nice to do it together and he could only hope that Dean was close because he could feel he was ready to explode. It didn't take long until he was told to come and if they didn't reach orgasm together it was surely just some seconds apart. Sam was glad to let go, throwing his head back with a scream as he came. They were riding it together and through the mind-blowing bliss he was aware of that. He didn't notice that his short nails were digging into Dean's flesh until he slid it up to pull him in for a lazy kiss.

Dean hadn’t really noticed the exact moment Sam had come, but he knew it was almost at the same time – if not exactly at the same time. But he was still relishing on his high and God, they needed that. Dean felt the remains of his stress and nervousness of the day finally leave him and he hoped Sam felt the same. Before he could do anything, Sam was tugging him for a kiss and Dean went willingly, grunting slightly at the burn of his sweat meeting the places where Sam’s nails had left scratches, which was yet another thing that would remind Dean of their sex during the next few days. When he broke the kiss, Dean rose slightly, enough to look his brother in the eye. He was speechless, not that it was any news, since he had never been too good with words, but he was overcome with love that he just wanted Sam to see it. He brought a hand to Sam’s hair and started petting it, taking a few wet strands of hair out of Sam’s forehead and he smiled at how young his brother looked like at that moment. No worries or darkness crossing his features and Dean felt good. He stayed like this for a while longer before kissing Sam once more and slipping out of Sammy. “Wanna go shower?” What Dean really wanted at that moment was a bathtub so they could sit on it and just stay there and wait for the water to run cold, but they couldn’t have that now, so the next best option would be to take a shower and then go back to bed where they could cuddle and maybe even sleep. “We can stay here a while longer if you want.” Dean said, cupping Sam’s face and stroking his thumb over his brother’s cheek.

Sam was panting, but he felt like he could breathe easier, free of tension. There was only their love at that moment and it came through in that simple kiss. Their eyes met and he was enthralled by the way Dean looked at him, so fond and devoted. It should probably be scary to know that someone felt so intensely about him, but Sam wouldn't have it any other way. He was used to that look since he was born and maybe that was why he wouldn't feel complete with another person. Dean was the only one who could make him feel safe and cherished for good. Sam sighed at having his hair pulled back and kissed his brother softly. He bit his lip as Dean pulled out, but he didn't complain since they remained close. "We'll go in a minute." Probably more than a minute. Sam knew they would have to shower soon, but he immediately accepted Dean's idea to stay in bed a little longer. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. It was amazing how a light caress from Dean could spark up his love and relax him at the same time. "I feel so comfortable after we have sex. It's great when we're doing it, but after… I think it's the whole point. We get our hearts and our breathing to slow down together and we're still connected." Sam commented, stroking his brother's arm and shoulder. It was all about never stopping touching each other. "Before we shower, you gotta take my collar off." He smiled, tipping his head back to expose his neck. It felt slightly sore when he moved and he knew it was because of Dean's bites.

Dean hummed in agreement, cuddling against Sam. They could stay there as much as they wanted, Dean just didn’t want for them to fall asleep like that. After the fights, the arguments and the sex, Dean doubted he’d just doze off for a few minutes; no, he’d probably sleep until the next day and it would be really uncomfortable in the morning to wake up with sweat and come all over the place. For now, though, they could just enjoy their closeness. “I feel the same. We get so relaxed and sated together and it’s just… so blissful.” Dean couldn’t explain, not better than this, but he knew his brother understood him and felt the same. Maybe they felt this way about the aftermath of sex because they were deeply connected, who would know? “Oh, yeah.” Dean said with an afterthought, genuinely having forgotten about the collar. When his brother moved his neck, Dean quickened to unfasten it so it wouldn’t be bad for Sam’s muscles – after all, this was a moment to relax. He put the collar on the bedside table, but instead of standing up and heading to the shower, Dean kissed Sam once more. He would never get enough of his brother. Sighing after the kiss, Dean beamed at Sam. “Let’s take a shower so we can sleep and put all the problems and worries of today behind, shall we?” Dean finally stood up then, holding a hand to help his brother and then, while still handholding, Dean walked with Sam to the shower, turning on the hot water and moaning when the first spray of water hit him. He tugged Sam close and hugged him, just letting the water wash over them for a moment, and then he took the soap and started cleaning his brother, not wanting to stop touching him anytime soon.

Sam nodded, fully understanding what Dean meant. He wasn't going to ask if it felt the same way with other people – he didn't want to hear about Dean's one-night stands. Deep down, he knew that it was different for the simple fact that they loved each other. Sam didn't mind being accused of hopeless romanticism, he dreamed too much and didn't apologize about it. He smiled as his brother took off the collar. He could stay with it for longer, but it had already served its purpose and he didn't need the accessory to ground him anymore. When he thought they were going to shower, Dean kissed him. Sam sighed into it and kept a fond smile on his lips when they parted. "I'm already putting it all behind." He said sincerely. It seemed pathetic that they would fight over a laptop or college when they knew they could be so happy together. Sam felt bad for not being very patient with Dean sometimes, but instead of letting it worry him he would just make sure to change it in time. They were happy and sated, the bad vibes of the day staying behind. He squeezed Dean's hand on the way to the bathroom, wanting to touch him as much as he could. It got better when they stepped into the shower and Sam could wrap his arms around his brother. Sam sighed as they simply stood there under the warm water and he didn't move away when Dean started cleaning him. He hummed contently, letting Dean take his time. Before they used all the hot water, though, Sam grabbed the soap and did the same for him, lathering up his body with soft foam.

Dean was glad that they had worked everything out that night. Somehow, it had seemed like a long time ago and Dean was relieved that it was finally over. He knew that wasn’t the last time they fought, but it had been happening less and less over the months and Dean hoped that it would continue like that. It hadn’t been the worst fight they had, too, so things were clearly brightening up. Determined to put things behind him, Dean finished cleaning his brother and then hummed happily when Sam did the same to him. Once they were finally done, Dean turned off the water and took both their towels, putting one around Sam and the other around himself, drying himself up. Dean then went back to their room and had a look at the beds, choosing the less dirty one for then to cuddle and sleep. “I love you.” Dean whispered, tugging the both of them under the covers even though they were completely naked. “I love you more than anything.” Dean said once more, opening a smile and leaning forward to kiss Sam. When he broke the kiss off, he moved Sam about until he was glad with their positions, Sam’s head tucked under his chin. This was one of the many things Dean would never get tired of, sleeping like this. It had started when they were children, but even now it felt right to hold Sammy like that – even with Sam’s legs going on and on after Dean’s feet, but those were just details. “Sleep now, okay?” He murmured once more against Sam’s temple, kissing it gently and closing his eyes.

[extremeviki54]

[righteousdeanw]

extremeviki54:

Dean Winchester - 6x1

[righteousdeanw]

cursedbloodsam:

I’m innocent.

It’s not a vampire. Please stop talking.

You forget I`m your brother and I know you and there`s nothing innocent about that.

Oh. Okay. I`m now kinda frustrated, though. And why should I? I`m not saying anything weird.

[righteousdeanw]

cursedbloodsam:

Are you gonna say I don’t know how to have fun? Because I can argue.

Yeah, I sure am. And unless proven wrong, that`s what I`m gonna think. How are you gonna argue, though?

[righteousdeanw]

dckurt:

Funny. I’ve met plenty of monsters before, and they were very much human.

We`re not talking about the same monsters, then. I`m not talking about how sick society is, I`m talking about the monsters who hide under people`s bed. Real monsters.

[brothersloverssoulmates]

[righteousdeanw]

brothersloverssoulmates:

Weecest for Nataly ♥

Dean looks at him different now… Sam can’t exactly figure out what it is, but it’s happening a lot - almost constantly for months and months now - and he can just feel Dean eyes on him, like, all the time. He doesn’t know what to make of it, but it’s kinda driving him nuts. (❀)

[righteousdeanw]

dckurt:

And I’m sure you’re brother of the year.

Petty monsters? And what’s considered a “petty monster.” I wouldn’t know if your brother’s fond of me, but if so i can say the sentiment isn’t returned. All he did was make false assumptions and accusations about who I was.

You have no right to judge if I’m a good brother or not. You have no idea what we’ve been through and what I did for him, so shut up. I can say that Sam is a bitch, just as much as he can tell me I’m a jerk. We don’t need to sugar coat it.

Anything that isn’t human. Well, I don’t care if you like him or not, it’s his business, not mine.

[righteousdeanw]

sky-looks-familiar:

I’ve never learned how to fight, and in retrospect, I probably would have benefited from that knowledge. I think I’ll probably drop something and rejoin track. I’m full now, but I’m not sure I chose the right extras for me. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss running everyday.

If you ever want to learn, I wouldn’t mind teaching you. I need to train more, anyway. What are your extras? I’m sure you can drop one of them so you can return to track.

[thejordanscene]

[righteousdeanw]

thejordanscene:

Jensen Ackles, 2000

By Jon McKee

[righteousdeanw]

dckurt:

Wow. Rude even when talking about your own brother.. that I didn’t expect.

Gee thanks.

I’m not being rude, I’m stating a fact. Sammy knows he can be a little bitch since he was twelve.

I’m just saying, because Sam’s a huge heart and is trying to be friends even with petty monsters so if he really doesn’t like you, believe me, you did something wrong.

[saltnburned]