I Will Help You Swim

Lee Everett Jordan || 23 || They/Them || Sunflower

[river-leejo]

It was easier to just hold Lee. It was just easier to kiss them, and not think about anything else. Why did everything have to be so complicated? So difficult? He couldn’t understand it all the time. He really couldn’t.  His grip loosened on their shirt, just barely holding on, fingers curling into their hair, holding them close, continuing to kiss them. He opened his eyes when they pulled away, when they weren’t as close, when they spoke. He frowned just the slightest bit. Silas let go of Jordan’s hair, hesitantly. His hands moved to their chest, gently touching the fabric of their shirt. He didn’t know what to do now. 

His hands fell to their chest, and they shook their head. Carefully, they sat up, reached for his wrists, pulled his hands away and settled them onto his chest. He looked small, bloodied and ruffled beneath them, his hair a mess. “Let me go,” they repeated, and pulled theirself away from him. Their eyes lingered on his face for a long moment, and they let out a sigh through their nose, and went to get their backpack. They staggered their first couple of steps, head rushing suddenly when they got up, but they retrieved the bag, slipped it back to their shoulders. They didn’t look back at Silas. Their whole body was aching.

[river-leejo]

He still was just, struck. He didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to think. It was easier that way, wasn’t it? To not linger on thoughts. Just, act. Just act and not think about it at all.  Avery tightened his grip on Lee’s shirt when they were close again. When they kissed him back, were kissing him again. He clutched them closely, one of his hands going to the back of their head, holding them close, keeping them together. Was this what he wanted? He wasn’t going to stop and think about it. 

That tension stayed in their body at first, that anger still boiling inside of them, but with the feeling of that hand in their hair, pulling them in, they quieted. It was like he didn’t want to let them go. And then they were just kissing him. They couldn’t ignore it, they could never ignore it as completely as they wanted to. Their hands found Silas Avery’s collar and pulled him up, letting out a soft sound against his lips. Their grip on his collar loosened, and they slipped their hands up to hold his jaw, cradle his cheeks, hold him properly. And they kissed him for a long while in that alley, until they were breathless with it, before reaching for Silas’s wrist, and gently pulling that hand out of their hair. 

“Let me go,” they murmured, like always.

[river-leejo]

Why? Why not? Silas didn’t understand. He just didn’t. Hitting the ground again jostled him, made him bite his tongue this time. Ugh. His mouth just tasted like copper and subpar beer. There was so much going on, his head was buzzing-Nothing was in his mind for more than a few seconds. Silas couldn’t concentrate right now. He was too confused, too jumbled and angry and and and- Just another impulsive decision. Snatching up Lee’s shirt, yanking them down. Kissing them, hard. He pushed them away, just slightly, just enough to stare them down. He didn’t know what else to do. 

For a moment they stared down at Silas Avery’s bloodied face and wondered if maybe, this time, he might let them go, and let them keep going, and never try to follow again. And then they were being yanked down against him. They gasped, felt their lips meet his and let out a grunt into his mouth, tasting blood and drink on him. Their head was spinning. Brows furrowed, teeth clenched, they pulled away as soon as they felt him pushing against their chest. There was blood on their lips now, his blood. With a growl, they were falling forward again, kissing him back. It always ended up this way. As surely as they tried to avoid it, as much as they tried to make it go away, Avery always found them. Avery always pulled them back in, at least for these moments.

[river-leejo]

Those words made him grit his teeth, scowling down at Lee. That….Silas didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to think. His grip on Lee loosened, just a bit. He’d just…He’d wanted…He didn’t know. Something, fun. Whatever he was told was good. Just, something. Lee made this all too complicated.  Silas got what he wanted. That’s all he knew. How to take. That’s it. There wasn’t any reasoning, and deeper thinking behind it. He wanted it, he got it. Plain and simple. Now. Now he didn’t know what to do, what to say.  “…But I still want you.” Why was this all so confusing? 

They felt Silas’s grip let up the smallest bit, but didn’t relax at all theirself, just in case. It was harder to feel angry, seeing that look in his eyes, they’d known what they were saying. Acknowledging it was the last thing Silas wanted, likely. It was the last thing Lee wanted, too. They knew they’d hurt him somewhere deep inside with their words. Warmth prickled up the back of their neck at his words, and they frowned, the thought made them ache. They were angry, they couldn’t forgive him. They wouldn’t. They gave a sudden shove forward, all of their weight, and rolled them over again. They grabbed harder at his collar, shoved his shoulders down against the ground. “You can’t have me.”

[river-leejo]

He gasped when he was punched this time. OH fuck he definitely bit the inside of his mouth too. He tasted blood. He was dazed after getting hit again, trying to snatch Jordan’s hand before they hit him and being unsuccessful in it.  “C’mon sunshine, you really gunna fuckin’ chicken out-” He spat blood onto the concrete as he scrambled himself back onto his feet, “That ain’t the fuckin’ way, is it-?”  Silas didn’t hesitate to use his magic, apparating from where he was to in front of Jordan to tackle them right back down to the ground, snatching up their arm and shirt, “You weren’t tryin’ to ditch me, were ya?” 

Clumsy as they were, Lee ran right into Silas when he appeared suddenly in front of them, easily finding theirself being tackled back to the ground, their back on the concrete this time. Their head spun for a moment after hitting against it, and they blinked up at Silas, saw the blood in his teeth... “You keep acting like it’s my fault... You know... You know why it can’t happen anymore, Silas...” they breathed heavily, golden eyes looking right up into that grey. Reaching up, they grabbed hard at his upper arm, the collar of his shirt, tense like they were going to throw him away again but not moving yet to do so. “You made your choice. You didn’t choose me.”

[river-leejo]

Silas was again laughing, seeing how easily they were getting riled up over all this. This was the fucking fun he was looking for. Though he was expecting their charging at him, the two of them were still thrown to the ground. At least Silas avoided bashing his head into the cement below. He snatched up Lee’s arm, trying to shove them back as he also took another swing at their face. He was definitely thrashing under them, trying to toss Lee back off so he could get back up, but it wasn’t going the smoothest Silas could have hoped for. 

Their teeth were grit hard as they were both sent to the ground with their tackle, Silas was laughing like it was all in good fun, like they were a couple of friends blowing off some steam, as they rolled and struggled on the concrete. He caught them in the face again, and Lee immediately returned the favor, splitting their knuckles on his jaw. “You’ve really got nothing better to do, huh-?” They hit him again, hoping to shake him enough to pull theirself away, get away from him, “you can’t just fucking leave it alone-”

Shoving away from him, they grabbed for their backpack, hoping to make a run for it.

[river-leejo]

“It’s him! Not me!” George yelled in the direction of the kitchen, heading falling back against the arm of his old sofa and eyes closed. It was second hand, bought when he and Fred had first found this place. Thread-worn in some places but comfier and lived in and reminded him of home. “Did you run into the wall?” He asked, hearing Lee’s antics in the other room. George didn’t expect any different when he friend was over. Maybe he should invest in some of those baby proofing things he’d seen in the shop windows when looking for a gift for Vic’s birthday. The type of stuff to soften corners and stop Lee from stubbing their toe at every opportunity. 

He let out a soft groan of exaggeration at Lee’s sudden weight, eyes opening and sitting up to take the bottle. George managed to get up and take a swig without spilling the entire bottle all over himself. “Maybe I’ll go with you next time. You think I’m not healthy?” It wasn’t just the run that had tired him. He felt the same way during the nonsense of the anniversary. Like he couldn’t find enough air in the room.

“And what if I have-?!” Lee called back from the kitchen. Falling into George’s lap, they immediately made theirself comfortable, this was one of their favorite seats, after all. They giggled as they handed him the bottle, teased him a little bit, “can’t even take my weight anymore? And m’not exactly the heaviest wix in Britain.” They took the bottle back from George, giggled another moment before actually taking a sip, hissing a breath between their teeth when they swallowed. They loved fiewhiskey, the burn was too good. “I think you’re either needing something physically, or emotionally, and having a run with your best mate Lee’s probably a good remedy for either,” they grinned, fully confident in theirself, and planted a sloppy kiss on George’s cheek. They passed the bottle back. “Unless you’d like to talk about it outright.”

[river-leejo]

Viktor was used to a stern and proper life. He’d been born into a Bulgarian Pureblooded family and had spent most of his childhood learning manners and the history of his ancestry. In his culture and in his family things were to be done right and there were certain expectations with being born a man. One of them was to be careful, to never reveal too much of what one was thinking less that someone takes advantage of it. It wasn’t manly or proper to be too emotional and while Viktor had nothing against those that were open with their feelings, he just wasn’t. After twenty-five years he didn’t know if he could be.

But it was nice to be around those who could. Back at Durmstrang and in the East everyone around Viktor had been just like him and here people were different. They were more open and outwardly emotional and it was almost comforting experiencing that second hand. When he was with Lee it was almost like Viktor had a matching wild smile.

“I vould think you’d at least keep an outline,” he told them. Lee had to have some sort of organization system otherwise how would they ever get anything done? He might believe it if they didn’t hold two jobs.

Settling into the seat that Lee pushed out for him, Viktor rested his head in his hands. He’d been over a few times before but he still felt a bit awkward in an unknown flat.  “I suppose they were good looking. It sounds like a good night. I envy you for your ability to make friends and the like so easily,” he continued on watching Lee make their eggs. If he was being honest Viktor hadn’t really caught what Anthony looked like, too busy with the surprise of Lee shoving him out the door. “I woke up a little after the crack of dawn. Had to go for a run.” 

“Outline-?” Lee laughed for a moment before realizing what Viktor was referring to, and they laughed some more as they explained a bit further, “I keep my work schedule written down of course, but the rest of my time’s pretty up in the air,” they shrugged. They grinned, “m’definitely never planning to bring anyone home with me, but if I so happen t’meet some gorgeous being while about doing my business,” again, they shrugged, but wiggled their eyebrows a little bit with it. “S’all I meant. Wasn’t going out of my way t’embarrass you.” At the thought they glanced up, met his eyes, gave a playful little wiggle of their shoulders and assured him, “though i’ve got to say, it is very cute how embarrassed you get.”

“You could make them just as easy,” they went back to eating their eggs, “you’re a lovely person, Viktor, you’ve just got to open yourself up a little more. Talk to people, give them a chance to woo or disappoint you. In my experience, it’s usually the former over the latter.” Lee shook their head at the thought of getting up at the crack of dawn for anything, with their working hours being in the afternoons and evenings it was rare that Lee could be found awake before eleven. “Offer’s always open to come running with me- Could make a playlist of some new sounds to show you.”

[river-leejo]

Ginny hadn’t exactly been sleeping well, the return of her nightmares leaving her unrested and tense, so she was awake when the stone hit her window, drawing her gaze. She’d been sitting against her headboard, arms wrapped around her knees, sketching absently on a spare bit of parchment that she had started out to fill with ideas to keep her column going during the Quidditch hiatus. Leaving the parchment and quill on her bedside table she moved to her window, a grin already spreading across her face.

She poked her head out of the window long enough to shout at Lee that she was on her way down, scrambled into jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed her favourite leather jacket and took off down the stairs of her flat to meet them outside.

“How could I refuse an offer like that?” she said, grinning and trying not to show how eagerly she’d sprinted down the staircase. “It’s nice to see you. You have such good timing. I could use some excitement.”

,

It didn’t take long, another stone and she was up and hollering back down at them. The sight of the smile on her face was enough to have Lee beaming, “ace-!” they hollered back before promptly dropping the rest of the stones in their hands and making their way to the door for her. She was out and with them only moments later. Their arms were open as they approached her, “I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me, Ginny, love,” and they immediately wrapped her up in a hug as soon as they were close enough, laughing to theirself. “We’re going t’get up to something exciting, definitely- Or at least, very fun-! Mischief! Mischief of some sort!” They pulled out of their hug, slapping their hands to Ginny’s cheeks and looking her right in the eyes, their own pupils blown, excitement in their tone, “how about we go out to the yard, smash some things? I could go for a good smashing. Maybe set something on fire.” So many ideas came to mind for how they could mess around in that place, it never failed to amuse Lee when they felt like they wanted to blow off some steam or generally expend energy.

[river-leejo]

Viktor had only visited Lee a few times since he had met the wixen and each time Viktor seemed to run into someone else. This time it seemed to be a hookup, the quidditch player stumbling back a bit as Lee opened the door with their mouth connected to their guests.

 While he wasn’t one to blush easily, Viktor still felt the familiar uncomfortable feeling of seeing someone’s personal life creeping up his neck and he pointedly looked towards the ceiling as he entered the apartment. He swore– no he knew, Lee did this to him on purpose. They loved putting VIktor in the most uncomfortable situations as possible and a part of Viktor almost thought he liked it as well. Why else would he keep hanging out with them?

“Are you sure about that?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and closing the front door behind him. He followed Lee into the kitchen, politely declining their invitation of a breakfast. Viktor was an early bird, like most players, and had already been up for a bit for a morning run and some breakfast on his own. “Did you work the club last night or go for fun?”

Lee chuckled to theirself at that look on Viktor’s face, the man was always so stern and it was always fun to see the way he reacted to the looser lifestyle they led. They knew that they embarrassed him frequently when they were in each other’s company, but still they both seemed to be enjoying it. And that only made it more fun for them. “‘Course i’m sure, what, you think I plan anything about my evenings-?” They grinned. They were scooping the rest of the scrambles eggs, a little burned as they’d said, onto their plate. They licked their lips as they slipped down to sit at their little kitchen table, stretching one long leg out under the bottom to push out the chair opposite, wordlessly inviting Viktor to join them while they finished their midday breakfast. “Work,” they answered through a mouthful of eggs, swallowing and taking a sip of coffee before elaborating with a wide, sunny smile, “played a full set, met Anthony- Merlin, did you see how beautiful he was-?” they stopped to giggle a bit to theirself before continuing, “met him during one of my breaks, brought him back with me. Fell asleep when we were done, made breakfast, here we are.” They poured ketchup onto the more burned parts of their eggs. “I suppose you’ve been awake since the crack of dawn...?” Their tongue toyed with one of the studs in their lower lip.

[river-leejo]

Lee forgot that they were expecting company, even despite having made a note of it in their notebook they were still surprised to hear the familiar sound of a heavy hand knocking against their door that morning. Remembering that Viktor had said he’d come by put only a little color in their cheeks. Grinning, they got to their feet, glancing to the other sat at their table as they went, “weren’t you just saying you’re on your way out...?” They pulled the door open with their mouth on their guest’s, giving him a goodbye kiss and one of their grins as they assured him, “it was lovely meeting you,” in that usual genuine tone of theirs. He slipped out past Viktor with a soft ‘excuse me’, and Lee turned their attention to their friend, grinning from ear to ear and absolutely unashamed of both the situation and their own shirtless, pantslessness. “Sorry about that, love- Honestly I forgot I was expecting you,” Lee stretched their arms up over their head, let them fall to fold on top of it. “Hungry? I made eggs. They’re a bit burnt but still good. Especially with a bit of ketchup.” They were already turning to lead their way to their kitchen, which was easily seen from the door.

@viktcrskrum​

[river-leejo]

George sagged against Lee, allowing himself to be dragged into his apartment. He really thought they were going to catch up to him in the end there but he had won, maybe more thanks to the architecture than his own athletic prowess. “I miss him already.” He said, head resting lazily against Lee’s shoulder. “You know, sometimes I bring him up here when I’m missing Harry. Just to hear him speak in the middle of the night.” He couldn’t manage it. Getting through his woefully pathetic monologue without laughing. 

George collapsed on the couch, still in a fit of giggles, and waved in the direction of his kitchen island. “Firewhiskey’s in there. Wrapped in the cute little bag it came in for you. Can’t miss it.” Aka the shopping bag the liquor store had placed it in. He was pretty ashamed to admit his current lifestyle wasn’t conducive to running around his shop. Maybe he should take Lee up on that offer. “Running?” He knew Cho ran, at some ungodly hour early in the morning when normal people slept. Somehow he couldn’t see his friend having the same kind of dedication. “When do you go running?”

Lee chuckled as they took George’s weight, all too used to it after so many years knowing him. They dragged him into his flat, nuzzling their head down against George’s and teasing, “it’s sounding more to me like you’re needing his company, than the other way around. And earlier you were so adamant that Farry’s the one who’s lonely-” they laughed along with George, letting him go so he could relax on the couch. They perked up at the mention of the firewhiskey. “Right, right-” they hurried to the kitchen, bumping against the doorframe in their rush, “oof-” “Bloody adorable, love-!” They called from the kitchen, their smile obvious in their voice. They tore the bottle from the bag and twisted it open, took a swig straight from it as they walked back into the living room. “Whenever I fancy, you know... Don’t really make plans for it. Usually in the afternoons and early evenings, I guess? I like t’go before work when i’ve still got that kind of energy in me.” Lee offered George the bottle and fell immediately to straddle his lap. Sighing, they leaned against him. “Even if it’s not your thing, good to keep healthy and all.”

[river-leejo]

George grinned, the excitement of being purposefully slow moving threatening to spill over into a laugh. It was an easy trick to play on Lee. A lazy one at that. “But we can’t have him getting too lonely. He’ll start talking to himself. It’ll just throw off customers instead of him welcoming them in.” 

With a long sigh, George feigned going back to get Farry before bolting up the stairs and out of range of Lee’s annoyance. He’d like to actually get to drink the promised firewhiskey. Not get stuck wrestling on the second floor landing. He made it to the door of his apartment, a bit out of breath from the sudden stint of exercising. “Go on without me. Can’t make it.”

“He’ll tell us if he’s lonely, George, you’ve got to trust others to communicate what they need-” they spoke like the cutout was a living person. Lee’s hands went right for George’s shoulder blades and they pushed their weight against his back trying to get him to move. But of course they knew this game, he knew how impatient they were, how standing stagnant when there was something to be done would build fizzy up in their middle and make them vibrate. They were already bouncing on the balls of their feet. “George,” they snatched after him only to stumble a bit when he suddenly shot past them, up the stairs. “OI-” they caught theirself on a shelf, managed not to topple anything over this time. “NOT ON,” they shouted, immediately shooting up the stairs after him, tripping on the last step at the top but catching theirself on the heels of their palms and shoving back to their feet. And caught up to him outside of his door, throwing their head back with a bit of a laugh at how winded he was. Lee was hardly out of breath. They clapped him on the back, “you should come along running with me sometime, looks like you’re getting out of shape.” Still, chuckling, they slipped an arm around George’s middle, taking his weight as they had so many times before, and walked with him through the door.

[river-leejo]

★

I like you // I love you // You’re one of my best friends // You’re like family // You are family // I dislike you // I hate you // I’d kill you if I got the chance // I want you to like me // I’m scared of you // I would adopt you // I’d date you // I’d sleep with you // I’d marry you // I’m worried about you // You confuse me // You’re annoying // I pity you // I respect you // I trust you // I feel protective of you // I’d invite you with me to parties // I’d lend you my money // I’d borrow your money // You’re good-looking // I’m suspicious of you // I’m hiding something from you // You’re fun // You’re boring // I’m upset with you // You’re nice // You’re mean // I’m envious of you // You’re smart // You’re stupid // I look up to you // I think you’re a better person than me // I think I’m a better person than you // I want to apologize to you // I wish I’d never met you // I never want to forget you // I want to get to know you better

@ginnyweasley-arc

[river-leejo]

“I can’t help that you’ve reminded me of my beauty. Have you? We have to celebrate before the marriage proposals start rolling in.” Maybe it was time to get a Fee, a fake Lee cutout if that was the case. Or George could blow a mock Witch Weekly cover up real big and frame it. Put it in a place of honor above the door.

“I know you’re been working on those charms for years. Taking Flitwick’s night classes. Charms for sweeping wixen off their feet! You can’t fool me!” With a last longing look in Farry’s direction, George headed up the stairs. He took his time, the goal of annoying Lee in mind. “Do you think I should bring him upstairs? I don’t want him to get too lonely down there by himself.”

“They already have, but i’ve been turning them all away. Nobody in this world can hold me down,” they laughed, the very thought of being in any sort of relationship made them feel uneasy. There was something so off putting about it, they much preferred having friends and flings. “Now that’s a whole other kind of charming, though I will give it to you that i’m excellent at both.” Shaking their head, they tried to follow George up the stairs, only he was moving much too slowly for their energy- They stamped their feet a couple of times in place when he turned to look back for Farry, “I think he’s fine, Farry’s an introvert don’t you know? Needs his alone time to feel sane and all that.”

[river-leejo]

“Handsome?” George repeated, gladly giving himself over to the compliment. His ego inflating with a false confidence in an instant. “You had to start making sense sooner or later, Sunshine. I’m just beautiful. Witch Weekly almost put me on their top ten list of pretty eligible bachelors.. Have I told you that? Don’t worry. You’ll get there one day.” They hadn’t and he was sure Lee knew that much. There weren’t many people looking for a husband  with one ear that founded a joke shop.

“I know. I talk a big game and then I’m just weak for your wiles. What can I say? You must be related to Summerbee. How else could you cast such a good cheering charm on me?” George’s grin was growing by the second as he tried to think of more spell related humor, a new terrible favorite of his. “Did you whisper spongify? Because I’m finding myself bending to your will. Pliable. Bouncing in my boots?”

George turned on his heel and headed to the stairs, muttering the closing charms under his breath as he went. He placed a hand on the banister and turned to Lee, wide grin still in place. “It’s all the way upstairs. I could summon it but I don’t fancy getting a shard of wet glass in my hand instead of the bougie gift I got just for you. Feel free to hang out down here with Farry though.” The affection nickname he had given ‘Fake Harry’ needed some work.

“Ah, and there it is. Already getting all inflated again, after i’ve only just made you humble.” Lee sighs and shakes their head, “you know nominations were ages ago, right? First place slot’s been decided, it’s me. Sorry, forgot to mention it, s’nothing new for me to hear about how hot I am.” They gave George a playful little shove, of course no such thing was true about them either.

“No magic’s needed here,” Lee grinned widely and chuckled at that, “this charm’s all natural- If your legs are out of sorts I could always carry you wherever we’re going,” they gave him a heavy-lidded glance, their tongue toying with one of the studs in their lip. Their hands slipped into their pockets and they trailed after George, following him to the bottom of the stairs. “What a waste of good firewhiskey that would be,” they agreed with only a small glance back to Farry. They shrugged, “I’d prefer more lively company, I think.” Smirking, they continued forward until they were pressing against George’s side, “get moving before I mow you over, love.”

[river-leejo]

★

I like you // I love you // You’re one of my best friends // You’re like family // You are family // I dislike you // I hate you // I’d kill you if I got the chance // I want you to like me // I’m scared of you // I would adopt you // I’d date you // I’d sleep with you // I’d marry you // I’m worried about you // You confuse me // You’re annoying // I pity you // I respect you // I trust you // I feel protective of you // I’d invite you with me to parties // I’d lend you my money // I’d borrow your money // You’re good-looking // I’m suspicious of you // I’m hiding something from you // You’re fun // You’re boring // I’m upset with you // You’re nice // You’re mean // I’m envious of you // You’re smart // You’re stupid // I look up to you // I think you’re a better person than me // I think I’m a better person than you // I want to apologize to you // I wish I’d never met you // I never want to forget you // I want to get to know you better

@hjpotter-arc