Things Said In My Theater: Starters
“Don’t be cheeky, it does nothing for your complexion.”
“Gone? As in, POOF?”
“Let’s not get our knickers in a twist…”
“You were only supposed to get one donut! Why couldn’t you get a bagel like all the healthy people here?”
“I-I uh… j-just wanted to feel royal for once!”
“CALL JAMES BOND!!!”
“Unfortunately, that was our ONLY copy… You’ll just have to work with it.”
“Don’t underestimate how much food i can eat without throwing up, (name). I’m not a quitter.”
“Cue dramatic entrance!”
“All I got were two starbursts… i mean they’re both strawberry but still…”
“You should know by now… royalty only REALLY looks good on ME~!”
“What in the name of Colin Firth are you doing???”
“Get out there and embrace your inner David Bowie!”
“All of my crops are like seriously, legit, like literally dead.”
“You’re like an angel… with poor fashion sense…”
“At least you don’t look like a pedophile.”
“You look like a drag queen cat lady.”
“Look at you… a beautiful bean, sprouting into an even more beautiful bean…”
“I’m only in this for that dude with nice boobs.”
“Jesus, your hair feels like straw from a scarecrow’s ass, how much hairspray is in it??”
“My two least favorite beauty products in this world are hairspray and facepaint. Unfortunately I’m wearing a pound of both at the same time and I’m ready to kick a chair.”
“FUCK I love corn.”
