I am Bender; please insert girder.

I have 99 problems and my creator is all of them plus more.

[robotstrider-blog]

I said bye to Dirk and I have not been around since.

[testifyed-blog]

@robotstrider

You know damn well I can’t add gifs when I’m on mobile.

[robotstrider-blog]

[testifyed-blog]

I expected as much.

[robotstrider-blog]

[robotstrider-blog]

testifyed liked your post:I was going to make a joke about humans but...

You’re the joke.

[robotstrider-blog]

I was going to make a joke about humans but instead I will vaguely announce that a joke was going to go here but I want you all to think of your own joke to fill the gap.

[testifyed-blog]

I want you to pull a sick fatality straight out of Mortal Kombat and snap my spine in two. Give me that sweet relief, my roboman.

[robotstrider-blog]

I will do it. Bend over.

[robotstrider-blog]

“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size,” I say to the buff gentleman of Dirk’s height as I, a pair of shades, sit pretty to the side.

[testifyed-blog]

Sadly enough, you robocan’t robopunch me in the roboface, as my face is one hundred and fifty five percent pure human flesh, give or take a piercing or two. You’d be robopunching me in my weak, easily bruised skin.

[robotstrider-blog]

Your human carcass will truly understand the meaning of the word pain once I am robodone with it.  

[robotstrider-blog]

I wish I could say I want to see what happens if Dirk fell in the ocean while trying to fish, but it has happened before--

It was hilarious.

[testifyed-blog]

You’re stating this in a detail that’s definitely not needed, bro. I’m triggered, gonna need you to tag your grossnasty #sex mentions, don’t make me call the robosex cops on your ass. They’ll travel through time and space to apprehend your disgusting delinquent roboself and throw you in roboprison. Have I said “robo” enough times by now? Hopefully not, I’d like to roboadd a few robomore.

[robotstrider-blog]

You know, I was enjoying all the roboaddons, but the second you said robomore that was roboenough and I’m going to punch you in the roboface.

[testifyed-blog]

I’m well aware, Hal. It’s almost like I was holding my ability to keep things from you over your head. Ever heard of mocking someone? I’d think you can tell when I’m doing it, seeing as you’re the robomaster of all things unnecessary and sassy.

Woah there, bud. You want to drop that shit like it’s hot? Let’s not talk about hypothetical situations that include you putting anything in me. The mere idea is kind of revolting, all offense intended, I’d rather not vomit in my mouth this afternoon. 

[robotstrider-blog]

You act as if I say that because I have some sick, twisted fantasy of bending you backwards and fucking you into the sea because I do not. I have no desire to procreate. You know this, you programmed me. I was merely stating, any intention of giving me a dick would be for selfish reasons on your part.

[testifyed-blog]

Hell, at least I’ve got one.

[robotstrider-blog]

You are the one who determines what I “have” and I think we are both aware, giving me a penis would look bad on your part, since you would be the only one to benefit from it hypothetically.

[testifyed-blog]

Do as you will, Broseph. Who wouldn’t want my hot ass pasted all over their dash? I know I’d swoon if I saw my own junk on the dash, might even make it my icon. Every time you open my blog on mobile you’ll be greeted lovingly by my dick. “Hi, hello new friend.” Says mini Dirk.

[robotstrider-blog]

Mini is the perfect word to use.

[testifyed-blog]

It’s dat boi.

Oh shit, whaddup.

[robotstrider-blog]

Why did you like that post.

[robotstrider-blog]

If you think I’m above posting Dirk’s nudes online until he gets on to stop me, I have some bad news for you.

[robotstrider-blog]

You ever see an alt of yours and you're just like, I could wreck you like there's no tomorrow.

[fruitsoftheape100]

*Ape Makes Eye Contact With You On The Sub Way Train*

[hotsweetcorn]

the fuck are you looking at

[fruitsoftheape100]

Square Up