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ㅤ ◟ ï๑ ♡ "you can stay the night, you know. there's no need to act like a stranger."
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ tj doesn’t even know how to explain himself to ayumi— because , truthfully , he can’t even explain his own decisions to himself . bo was fun to be with , and their time together was lighthearted and easy . maybe that’s why he thought of him first when deciding who to spend the holidays with . they were both free , both without plans , and it felt like the perfect solution to make the season a little less lonely for the both of them . after all , neither of them could quite feel the holiday spirit this year . when it comes to ayumi , tj can’t help but see her as someone always on the move , with a schedule packed to the brim . he knows she’d drop everything for him if he asked , but he can’t bring himself to be that selfish— not when she has her loved ones , friends , and her own traditions to attend to . and it’s christmas . he knows how her december always goes : fully booked and bustling . that’s why he didn’t even consider pulling her away . still , as he watches the pout settle on her lips , he knows his explanation isn’t enough . “ yeah ? he’s just a friend . mag-isa siya , mag-isa ako . i don’t see anything wrong with it , ” he says , trying to defend himself , though his tone softens with a sigh . his hands stay on her waist , holding her close as if that might ease the tension . “ if you want me next christmas , i’ll make myself available for you . ” but the moment the words leave his mouth , he knows they won’t work . that pout isn’t going anywhere . he bites his lip , scrambling for something better , something immediate . “ uhh . . . i can stay for a few more hours for you . i’ll make it up to you . anong gusto ng baby na ’yan ? ” he coos , hoping his playful tone and offer will bring her smile back .
ㅤ ◟ ï๑ ♡ ayumi was used to getting what she wanted. it wasn’t even a matter of pride or manipulation—it was just the way her life had always been. her parents had spoiled her from the start, indulging every whim, turning even the smallest wishes into reality without hesitation. and then there was tj, who always seemed to know exactly what she needed, often before she even had to ask. hell—seojun, too, in his own way, catered to her. call her spoiled, call her entitled—it didn’t matter. this was her normal. being denied something, being told no? it didn’t sit well with her because she simply wasn’t used to it. so when tj mentioned having other plans—plans that didn’t involve her—it set her off. people were always ready to rearrange their schedules for her, to accommodate her, to put her first. tj had always been at the top of that list. ayumi frowned, her gaze sliding away from tj’s face. she didn’t want to look at him right now, didn’t want him to see the way her expression was tightening. her hands moved to his, tugging at them, trying to pull them off her waist. “next year is too far,” she muttered, her tone sharp, clipped. she didn’t mean it—not really. she was acting up, and deep down she knew it. she was upset, but part of her liked this—liked seeing the way tj rushed to soothe her, to make her feel better. he always did. she sighed. “wala ka nang time for me,” she said, “’di ka man lang din nagsabi.” her eyes lifted to meet his. the holidays were always a chaotic time for her, filled with dinners, parties, and obligations she can't escape. the truth was, this sliver of time—these few hours—was all she had for him, so she's not letting him go back home early. “since he’s just a friend, he wouldn’t mind if you stayed a couple of hours more, right? netflix tayo. i wanna rewatch the polar express.”
inigo set the guitar down gently, the applause around him blurring into background noise. his chest felt tight, his heartbeat too loud in his ears as he scanned the crowd. faces blurred together, a sea of strangers and familiar outlines, but he was only looking for one. ayumi. his eyes darted across the room, the dim lighting making it harder to see clearly. the knot in his stomach twisted tighter with every second she didn’t appear. and then—there she was. standing near the back, and when their eyes met, everything else seemed to fall away. the noise, the crowd, even gavin’s muttered complaints beside him—it all faded into nothing. all he could see was her. the way her hair caught the faint light, the way her lips pressed together in that familiar mix of hurt and stubbornness. a million thoughts raced through his mind, faster than he could process them. what do i say? what if she doesn’t want to hear it? what if this is it? he swallowed hard, his throat dry as regret surged through him. he had messed up. big time. the words they’d thrown at each other during their last conversation still echoed in his mind, sharper than any chord he’d played tonight. he knew he had pushed too far, taken her for granted, thinking she’d always stay. but now, seeing her there, he felt a flicker of hope. it was small, fragile, but it was enough to make him stand up straighter, to push aside the fear clawing at him. if she was here, then maybe—just maybe—she was still willing to listen. he let out a shaky breath, his hands clenching at his sides. for once, the words didn’t come easily. the usual cocky smirk he wore felt out of place, replaced by something raw and vulnerable. but this wasn’t about confidence. this was about making things right. he took one step forward, then stopped, unsure if he should go to her. what if she walked away? what if this song wasn’t enough? what if i’m not enough? but he met her gaze again, and in her eyes, he saw something that gave him the courage to hope. maybe it wasn’t forgiveness. maybe not yet. but it wasn’t indifference either—honestly he wasn't so sure. but for now, that was all he needed.
@imperfectloved
ㅤ ◟ ï๑ ♡ ayumi thought this was just going to be another one of those nights. she’d been to plenty of ian’s gigs, always invited because vv was his girlfriend, and by extension, they all had a free pass to watch. it was the usual sight—loud music, cheap drinks, and a crowd filling the bar. most of the faces were familiar, people from university milling around, laughing, and shouting over the music. she’d been nervous about running into inigo, though. especially after what had happened between them.
people had told her it was about time she ended it. they weren't wrong. she and inigo had been dating for years, but their relationship seemed stuck in an endless cycle. it wasn’t that inigo cheated—at least, not physically—but he strayed. a lot. he flirted shamelessly, throwing smirks and sultry looks at girls whose names and faces ayumi couldn't even remember anymore. he’d go to car meets and clubs without a word, leaving her pacing her room late at night, her thoughts spiraling into worst-case scenarios, obssessively checking his social media accounts for updates.
whatever self-esteem she’d had, inigo had chipped away at it. slowly, over time, he made her question her worth, compare herself to every girl he seemed to find more interesting than her. her parents had raised her with love and care, always making sure she knew she was valued, spoiling her in all the ways they could. but none of that mattered when inigo had her wrapped in knots, doubting everything about herself. she could only be so patient. in the end, it wasn’t even the worst thing he’d done that broke her. it was something as small as him playing a spontaneous basketball match with his friends without telling her. insignificant on its own, but it was the final straw. she couldn’t keep putting herself through this. how long was she going to put up with this shit?
so, she ended it.
she hadn’t heard from him since. he’d left her alone, not even trying to run into her on campus. and while part of her appreciated it, another part—one she hated admitting to—was upset. she cared. she still cared. god, she still cared. but ayumi was determined to focus on herself, to move on from the mess he'd made of her.
but tonight, she saw him again. and not in the way she expected.
inigo wasn’t in the audience like she’d assumed he might be. he wasn’t leaning against the bar with that easy grin. he was on the stage. her breath caught in her throat as he stood there, guitar in hand, his gaze locked on hers. he’s singing to me, she realized, her drink suddenly feeling heavy in her hand. his eyes didn’t stray, not even once. and ayumi couldn’t look away. she didn’t know what to feel. her feet felt rooted to the spot, her heart hammering in her chest as she processed what was happening. inigo was singing—to her. she wasn’t stupid. she knew he was. this wasn’t like him. inigo had never done anything like this before. most of the time, he’d apologised with sweet words, promises that felt empty but sounded nice enough for her to believe. she had forgiven him time and time again, because… well, because she loved him. she always had. and god help her, she still did.
when the set was over, ayumi hadn't planned on doing anything. she saw the way inigo hesitated as he stepped off the stage. he looked at her like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. for a moment, neither of them moved. then ayumi sighed, setting her drink down on the nearest table and forced her feet to move toward him. if he’d gone out of his way to do something this vulnerable, he at least deserved a conversation.
“i didn’t know you could play the guitar,” she said when she reached him. “didn’t know you could sing, either.”
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𑁯ִଓ ˑ ܀ . . .ᐟ veronica looked at blair up and down, her grin wide and approving. “you look fucking fantastic, b.” she said, her voice filled with genuine admiration. the rented-out cinema stood as her grand gesture for their friendship. just the two of them—no boyfriends, no distractions, just her and blair belting out defying gravity at full volume without a care in the world. she wanted this night to be theirs, free from judgement or restraint, and yes, even from their loving and doting boyfriends. and as she was adjusting her green top, veronica added casually, “oh and by the way, ian’s picking us up.” before giving herself one last look in the mirror. inside, she was buzzing with excitement. veronica had never been into musicals or theater, always brushing them off as too much drama for her taste. but then she met blair—his love for it was infectious, and somewhere along the way, she’d fallen for the magic of it all. “you ready..?”
@rockwithu
blair practically bounced on his heels, barely able to contain his excitement. “i’m totally ready!” he shrieked, though in truth, that was a massive understatement. he had been praying—begging—for a film adaptation of wicked for years now. years. they were always a gamble, though, weren’t they? chicago was legendary. but dear evan hansen? atrocious. he still couldn’t think about ben platt's doughy face without wincing. and mean girls the musical? well, it left him feeling thoroughly underwhelmed, like biting into a cupcake that looked perfect but tasted... bland. but wicked? oh, wicked had potential. the teasers alone had sent him into a frenzy, and he’d devoured every second of the soundtrack on spotify the moment it dropped. what made today even better was vv. he appreciated her more than she probably realised, especially the way she’d started getting into musicals herself. it was like a little shared corner of joy they could both indulge in. no more dragging river into yet another rewatch of hamilton. no more ranting to gavin about how les amis de l’abc deserved far better than they got. vv actually liked musicals, and it made him feel... less alone. he was even in such a good mood that he didn’t care about having to see ian’s grimy face today. he and vv had dressed to theme, decked out in pink and green respectively. blair would usually be modest about these things, but honestly? they looked amazing. coordinated, stylish, and just smug enough to know it. as he walked up to vv, he reached out to adjust her hair, smoothing it out gently. “shut up. you look stunning,” he said with a grin, “honestly, it’s almost a shame nobody else will get to see us like this in the cinema. what time is ian coming?”
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ “ grabe ka na sakin , ha . ang hirap naman magpa-baby o magpalambing sayo , ” he groans , the frustration clear in his tone as olivia stubbornly defends her undying love for churros , her supposed favorite thing in the world . he pouts , his disbelief written all over his face . “ hindi lang ‘gusto kita’ ang gusto kong marinig . ang gusto kong marinig , mahal na mahal mo ako at hindi mo kayang mabuhay nang walang ako . ” okay , maybe he’s being overly dramatic— borderline ridiculous , even— but he can’t help himself . if olivia actually said those words , he’s pretty sure he’d instantly forget all about his girlfriend’s refusal to shower him with affection . just one confession like that , and all would be forgiven .
nicholas was impossibly cute when he got pouty. olivia never said it aloud—it would only inflate his already considerable ego—but she loved this part of him, loved how easily he reacted whenever she teased him. his bottom lip would jut out just so, his brows would knit together, and he’d let out this little huff that made her want to laugh and kiss him at the same time. it was ridiculous how much power that pout had over her, though she’d never let him know it. she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction easily, even though nicholas was right. she loved him. a lot. “ang oa mo naman,” she muttered. he was still pouting, his expression equal parts adorable and infuriating, and olivia couldn’t resist. she reached up and pinched his lips lightly, as if to shut him up. “ahh, ewan ko. i can live without you,” she said, “churros, however…”
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ when both anthony and seojun invited sanguk to paskuhan , he immediately said yes . normally , he’d skip events like this— he doesn’t enjoy crowded places and feels unsafe in chaotic environments . besides , dlsu has its own version of paskuhan , and that’s usually enough for him . this year , they even had over october as a performer , which he thought was cool . but when he found out his favorite bands and artists would be performing at ust’s paskuhan this time , he didn’t hesitate to agree . still , that wasn’t the only reason for his sudden enthusiasm . he knows blair wil be there . how could he not ? as a member of the student government , blair will definitely be helping out with the event . and sanguk is right . a huge smile spread across his lips the moment he spots blair looking all problematic and stressed— but somehow still so effortlessly cute . sanguk feels an immediate urge to ease some of that stress . “ yeah , you can let them know i’m with you , ” sanguk says casually , though it doesn't really matter to him . whether blair calls anthony and seojun or not , sanguk knows he's sticking by blair’s side . he might even drag anthony and seojun along if it means staying close . “ hindi pa eh , ” sanguk continues with a small smile . “ can you show me around ? i’m trying to get some snacks kaso ang hahaba na ng pila . ” he pauses , tilting his head slightly . “ oh— what time pala will the band perform ? gusto ko kasi nasa harap ako mamaya . i love sud too , lalo na yung song nila , ‘dumaloy .’ ” his excitement is obvious , but his gaze lingers on blair just a little too long , his smile growing softer .
blair couldn’t quite believe his luck. the fact that he was even on friendly terms with sanguk already felt like a small miracle. he had been content for the longest time to admire him from a safe distance, but now, here they were. and blair couldn’t help but feel grateful for the odd twists of fate that had brought them together. maybe it was the time blair had accidentally swiped sanguk’s lucky pen, only realising it hours later. or the handful of times they’d crossed paths despite attending different universities—maybe, just maybe, he also had kuya ant and kuya seojun to thank for unintentionally nudging sanguk towards him.
tonight, blair hadn’t even considered taking it easy. there was just too much to do, too many people to keep track of, and the event was already in full swing. but now that sanguk had wanted to come along, a small, secret part of him couldn’t help but pretend this was something else entirely... like a christmas date. he glanced down at his watch. “4 pm pa siya magsa-start,” he answered, “soooo... in about two hours!” blair then looked around, his eyes scanning the crowd. there were too many people now, and blair knew it would probably take them at least 30 to 40 minutes to grab anything substantial.
his mind flicked to the stage, a massive structure right in the middle of the open field. it was already drawing a crowd, people saving spots to get the best view for the concert. blair’s lips curled into a smile. “you want ba sa harap?” he asked, tilting his head towards the stage. “sige, ako nang bahala.” he could pull a few strings—nothing too outrageous, just a little perk of being in the student government. “i can get us right in front, kahit ten minutes before the concert pa ’yan. meanwhile, bili tayo ng snacks?”
𑁯ִଓ ˑ ܀ . . .ᐟ nicholas chuckled softly, trying to brush off the tension in the air. “wala na akong klase, don’t worry about it.” he said, his voice smooth, though his watch begged to differ. he leaned down a little, his eyes catching hers as he flashed her a reassuring smile. “ang ganda mo naman po, don’t cry na.” he adjusted the strap of his bag with a casual shrug, as if his tardiness didn’t matter at all. as if this wasn't his sixth time skipping that class this month. “it was my fault, seriously. don’t worry about it.” he repeated, his voice gentle yet insistent. and for a moment, he simply looked at her, and the longer he did, the wider his smile grew. she was beautiful—like, really beautiful—and he found himself silently hoping she wasn’t taken. "ah..! ako pala si nick. nicholas suh,” he introduced himself, his smile turning into a grin. “ano pangalan nyo po?”
the face was familiar, but the name wasn’t. zoe stared for a moment longer than she should have, trying to place him in the puzzle of her barely-formed memories of this school. nicholas. she didn’t know a nicholas—or at least, she was sure she didn’t. she’d only been at this school for a couple of weeks, and her focus had been solely on settling in and navigating her way through unfamiliar corridors. aside from her small circle of friends, there wasn’t anyone else she knew. "no, but..." really! it wasn’t entirely nick's fault she'd dropped her food. zoe hadn’t been paying attention either. she’d been distracted, head in the damn clouds, and now here she was, awkwardly trying to piece together this interaction. “um... i'm zoe yoon,” she finally said, offering a small smile. “i transferred here a couple of weeks ago. we—we can go to the cafeteria, then? malapit na mag lunch break, so it’s better to go there now before it gets crowded...”
𑁯ִଓ ˑ ܀ . . .ᐟ laurie stared at teddy, his horse’s calm demeanor mirroring his own, before slowly turning his gaze to shiloh. “oh, I know your name is shiloh, shiloh. you’re friends with ian and my sister…one of them, at least…veronica.” he said, his voice drifting like a breeze. he then tilted his head slightly, the faintest of smirks playing on his lips. laurie was always like this—a little eccentric, a touch unreadable, and entirely unapologetic about it. he didn’t care to explain himself; he never had. this was just who he was. “and you know what? i think teddy will move,” he continued, gesturing lazily to his horse, “if you have an offering for him, birdy.” there was a slight playful lilt to his tone, but his expression remained serene as if he found this exchange more entertaining than anything else.
shiloh knew laurie by name more than anything else. he was vv’s older brother—that much he was sure of—but beyond that, the details blurred into vague impressions. what he did know came from the strange little interactions they’d had online. laurie seemed to enjoy commenting on every single post shiloh shared on instagram, often leaving bizarre, cryptic messages. “anything i can offer is inside that bag,” shiloh said, gesturing helplessly toward the flattened backpack under the horse’s hooves. there was no point in even pretending otherwise. everything he needed—papers for class, his lunch, and maybe even his last shred of dignity—was currently at the mercy of the horse. he thought briefly about the small pack of cookies he’d stuffed into the front pocket earlier that morning. they were supposed to be a snack for his long day, but realistically, they probably weren’t even edible anymore. they’d most likely been pulverized into crumbs by the horse.
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ when santi first met beau , a quiet certainty settled in his heart : this is the person i'll bring home . the one he'd introduce to his mom and sister . santi had always put his family first , especially after their father passed , stepping up as the breadwinner and caretaker . even during piper’s recovery after her surgery , he stayed by her side until she practically pushed him to go live his life . he hadn’t planned on doing that— he saw himself as someone who held everything together , not someone who sought love . but meeting beau changed everything . this is what his family wanted for him , what they’d always hoped for : for santi to find love , someone who will make his future feel brighter . now , he isn't rushing for answers or grand declarations . he is content with taking his time , courting beau and proving his worth , moment by moment . in the chilly breeze of sagada , their fingers intertwine as santi pulls beau closer , the warmth between them fending off the cold . with a teasing nudge , he smiles and says , “ syempre naman . pakilala kita sa kanila pagkatapos kitang ipakilala sa pamilya ko . ” santi tilts his head thoughtfully and asks , “ hmm , ano bang pwedeng kainin na hindi ako mabubusog agad ? ” santi chuckles , glancing down the path ahead . “ may café ba kayo dito ? kape muna tayo at tinapay . ” it isn't much , but it's enough— a quiet moment shared in a town that seemed to hold its breath just for them .
beau had never been one to actively seek out relationships or love. aside from tj, he’d never really given the idea much thought. love seemed too complicated, too much of a risk. and even if part of him knew that dating someone—anyone—could help him forget the feelings he harboured for tj, he hadn’t been willing to try. it didn’t feel necessary. besides, his time was always spoken for. when he wasn’t studying or juggling his responsibilities, he was at the souvenir shop, helping his grandfather keep the small business running. sagada wasn’t exactly overflowing with opportunities for romance, either. everyone here was someone he’d grown up with, people who felt more like siblings or cousins than potential partners. and those who were his age? most of them had left for the city, chasing bigger dreams and better lives.
santi was different. santi made him feel different. it wasn’t just the attention, though beau would be lying if he said he didn’t feel giddy every time santi smiled at him or sought him out. no, it was more than that. santi made him feel seen, like he was someone worth knowing, worth being around. worth meeting his family and his friends—people who mattered deeply to santi. “wow. meet the family, ha?” he teased, unable to stop himself. then, it reminded him of something he’d meant to bring up. “oo nga pala,” he rushed, “ipapakilala rin kita sa lolo ko. he wants to meet you. but i said nagpapahinga ka pa sa biyahe, so we can visit him tomorrow afternoon for lunch?” already, beau was planning how their first day back would go in his head. he’d take santi to a small café not far from his home, a place he frequented for its simple yet comforting menu. “may maliit na café na malapit lang sa bahay namin. i’ll take you there.”
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ “ because the goal here is to help you out , para naman hindi ka masyadong mapagod sa trabaho . so yeah , we do try to ease the load off your shoulders . pero at the end of the day , pagod ka pa rin . so , did our help really work ? ” sanguk doesn’t mean to sound like he’s holding anything against him , but his words carry a weight born of concern . over time , sanguk has come to observe blair’s work habits , his grueling schedule , and how little rest he gets . he has witnessed blair's relentless productivity , his ability to push through long hours despite the toll it clearly takes on him . it’s a kind of endurance that defies reason , as if blair’s body runs on sheer willpower alone . yet , sanguk can’t help but think about the price being paid . most people with weaker immune systems would have long succumbed to the pressure , ending up hospitalized and diagnosed with burnout or worse . sanguk just doesn’t want the time to come where that will also happen to blair . because he cares . he cares so much that he even brought him to the city for a break from everything , and to bring him closer to his brother who’s in college that he hasn't seen for awhile . “ you’re right . it’s not . i'm sorry . ” he nods , letting out a deep sigh , hoping blair sees where he’s coming from . still , this isn’t the time or place to argue about matters like this , so he decides to let it go for now . “ i’m glad my presence helps make things a bit easier for you . but please , magpahinga ka rin , okay ? ” he hums , his dark eyes searching blair’s gaze for confirmation— some sign that he’ll start taking it easier soon . relief washes over him when blair finally gives in to his persistent request , nodding in agreement . sanguk’s face lights up with a wide smile . “ hindi ‘yan . pag nagsuka ka , dadalhin talaga kita sa hospital , ” he quips , the warmth in his voice mingling with a touch of playful sternness .
blair knew this was just another one of sanguk’s ways of lightening the load, of helping him breathe a little easier, like he’d said. and, really, it was working. just being with sanguk was more than enough most days—those moments blair cherished so much, when they’d text late into the night or when sanguk would insist on walking him home even though it was out of his way. that alone meant the world to blair. but this? taking him to manila, showing him around, even making time to meet his brother? it felt like a grand gesture, something that went far beyond casual friendship. it wasn’t the kind of thing blair was used to. he’d never needed much, never expected much, but sanguk had a way of going the extra mile without making it feel like a big deal. travelling into the city together opened a whole new door—one blair wasn’t entirely sure he deserved to walk through but was grateful for all the same.
sanguk was doing so much for him, more than anyone ever had, and the least blair could do was listen when sanguk told him to rest once in a while. “okay, i will.” blair promised, eyes sincere as he looked at sanguk. he meant it—he wanted to show his gratitude, he wanted to give back even a fraction of what he’d received. and if it was through having to take a couple of extra days off, then that's what he's going to do. “ah, kahit 'wag mo na ako dalhin sa ospital. mahal magpagamot,” he joked, lips curling into a grin. “lalo na dito sa maynila.” soon, they were weaving through the bustling streets with sanguk leading the way. they stopped at a humble-looking shop nestled between taller, more modern buildings. it wasn’t flashy, didn’t stand out, but it had its own charm. it was... comforting. homey. kind of like ant's b&b. blair glanced around as they stepped inside. the tables were worn but clean, and the smell of simmering beef broth wafted through the air—it made his stomach grumble. they both stopped at the counter, and blair turned to sanguk with a questioning look. “anong ioorder mo? pares lang ba?”
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ “ masakit ba ? edi mag-move out ka . ” tj spits the words out , turning his back on beau so he won’t see the guilt already eating away at him . he can’t look at beau’s face— the confusion , the hurt— and risk breaking down , risk regretting the harshness of his words . he needs beau to start hating him , to pull away , to let go . it’s the only way tj can feel even a sliver of relief , even if it means carrying the unbearable weight of losing the only family he truly has . beau can’t stay here , no matter how much tj needs him— physically , emotionally , everything in between . keeping beau close feels selfish , like trapping him in a role he never asked for . tj refuses to shackle him to this life , to tj’s broken body and ticking clock , when beau deserves someone healthy , someone who can promise him more than tj ever could . he swallows hard , forcing the lump in his throat down as he fights to keep his voice steady . he tells himself he’s doing this for beau , not for himself . “ ang alat kaya ng mga luto mo . mamamatay pa ata ako nang mas maaga dahil sa'yo , ” he jokes bitterly , a weak smile tugging at his lips that doesn’t reach his eyes . his words are sharp , a poor mask for the ache clawing at his chest , but he hopes they’re enough to push beau away . enough to make him leave , even if it breaks tj in the process .
"ba't naman ako magmo-move out, eh libre na nga renta ko dito," beau huffed. he was trying too hard to make himself sound light, sound okay. it wasn’t. not when tj’s words hit like a sucker punch straight to his chest. but what hurt more was knowing tj had meant for them to hurt. tj wanted to push him away, to make him angry, to break whatever thread was keeping them together. what tj didn’t understand, though, was that beau could take it. he could take the sharp words, the cold distance. he could take every barb, every insult, every dismissive joke. tj could hurl all of it his way, and beau would still stand firm. he’d never hate him. not in this life, not in the next, not even the one after that. tj could try all he wanted, but there was no version of reality where beau could walk away. "anong maalat?" he countered with a roll of his eyes, "’wag ka nga mag-joke, ang sarap kaya ng luto ko. pang husband material nga, eh." he grinned, although truthfully, beau didn’t want to cook for anyone else. he couldn’t even imagine it. beau poked at his food with his fork, his appetite suddenly dimmed. he didn’t look up at tj, didn’t want to see the expression that might’ve been there. then, scrambling for something to say, he latched onto the first idea that came to him. "ano bang type mo? anong klaseng tao ba yung gusto mong pakasalan?"
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ there are so many thoughts running through sanguk’s mind as he becomes more and more conscious of blair’s gaze on him. sanguk is so used to the judging stares that follow him wherever he goes— stares that seem to demand answers, to assess the weight of his crimes. they always wonder what he must have done to deserve having his tongue taken away. would they believe him if he said it was because he was caught stealing bread for his starving family? would they scoff and accuse him of downplaying the gravity of his actions just to earn their sympathy? if only they understood the capitol’s cruelty, they wouldn’t question him at all. the capitol doesn’t measure justice; it measures control. sanguk considers himself lucky that it was his tongue they chose to take and not his head. even so, it’s hard for him to fight against their assumptions. he’s tired of being defined by his past— a past shaped by survival, not malice.
he’s thankful for the understanding he’s found among the people of district thirteen, but there are still whispers, still doubters questioning his motives. isn’t his scarred silence enough to tell his story? isn’t it enough that he ran away, leaving everything behind, even his voice? at this point, sanguk has learned not to explain himself unless someone asks. yet with blair, things feel different. there’s a sudden, unshakable urge to let him know the truth— to show him that there’s nothing to fear. but as blair looks at him, not with judgment but with warmth and quiet understanding like his parents, sanguk feels something unfamiliar but reassuring. blair doesn’t ask for explanations. he doesn’t ask for justifications or press for a story. somehow, he just knows. and in that knowing, sanguk finds the kind of acceptance he thought he’d never have again.
and through the kindness that radiates from blair, sanguk decides to ease down his worries about being trapped in the elevator. sanguk considers himself fortunate in a strange way— being an avox has forced him to acquire skills he never thought he’d have. the capitol had punished him by assigning him to work with machinery, tasks he had no prior experience in, yet he managed to learn so much from that grueling time. this is why he knows they’re safe, stuck inside an elevator that’s built to withstand anything. despite their predicament, sanguk understands the mechanisms enough to know that nothing bad will happen to them and that it’ll be up and running soon.
and so, even though sanguk isn’t naturally sociable, he decides to interact with blair, sensing his growing discomfort. his attempts are clumsy but sincere, using gestures and expressions to draw blair’s focus away from the claustrophobic space around them. sanguk knows, from experience, that distracting oneself with something— anything— can help ease the fear. he points to the elevator panel, traces shapes in the air to explain its workings, and offers a silent reassurance with his steady demeanor. as blair watches him, his tense shoulders slowly relax, and in that moment, sanguk feels a small victory. it’s not much, but it’s enough to remind both of them that they’re not alone.
“ it’s okay, you’re not alone. i’m here, ” sanguk writes carefully in blair’s notebook, his handwriting a little messy but clear enough to be understood. he passes it back to blair with a reassuring nod, his gaze soft and steady as if willing the words to do more than the page could convey. when he notices blair relax just slightly, beginning to open up, sanguk’s smile widens without him even realizing. he hardly pays attention to blair’s subtle reactions, too focused on his own thoughts and the words he’s carefully putting down.
“ i do, ” he scribbles next, answering blair’s earlier question. “ he’s such a great teacher to me. i learned a lot from him. i’m very thankful. ” sanguk tilts the notebook so blair can read, the edges of his mouth quirking up into a shy chuckle. his head shakes slightly in response to blair’s next remark, but he quickly picks the pen back up to clarify his answer. “ your dad is great. he watches out for me a lot. you’re lucky with your parents, ” he writes, pausing for a moment to look up at blair. his gaze holds warmth and quiet sincerity, a fleeting but unmistakable reflection of the gratitude he feels— not just for blair’s father, but for this small, growing connection between them.
sanguk was focused on writing, his pen moving steadily across the notebook. the scratch of the pen against the paper was the only sound in the cramped elevator, but it wasn’t awkward at all. there was a calmness, a peacefulness to the silence. blair leaned against the elevator wall, watching as sanguk’s fingers gripped the pen, brow furrowed slightly in concentration. for a moment, blair forgot where they were, found himself oddly at ease despite his claustrophobia. all that mattered now was his curiosity—what was sanguk going to write?
it must be difficult, though, blair thought, having to rely on paper and pen and gestures to communicate. it made his chest hurt, thinking of how many hurdles sanguk must face every day just to be understood, how he needed to make an extra effort to be heard. the capitol had made sure of that, hadn’t they? blair doubted many people here knew asl, aside from maybe a handful of avoxes who had taught themselves out of necessity. it wasn’t something schools taught—not in district 13, and certainly not in the other districts. in the back of his mind, blair thought it should be taught in schools. it wasn’t right that people like sanguk had to struggle so much for something as basic as communication.
nothing about sanguk’s situation was fair. the capitol had taken his voice. just because he’d done something they didn’t like, something they deemed unforgivable, he was punished for life. he wondered, not for the first time, what sanguk had done to deserve such a punishment. was it rebellion? a petty crime? something else entirely? curiosity itched at him, but he didn’t ask. it wasn’t his place. and did it really matter?
blair knew little about the capitol’s laws, or how they governed the districts. he’d been born and raised in district 13, where the rules were strict but clear. what he knew of panem—the world aboveground—came from his parents and the refugees who had fled here. everything about the capitol seemed so alien to him, like a twisted story out of a fictional society that shouldn’t ever exist.
he read sanguk’s response carefully, a bright nod breaking across his face as he looked up. relief bloomed in his chest at the words. “i’m glad my dad’s going easy on you,” he said. “he’s really great, though. he just… he’s kind of a perfectionist. he’s totally the type who’ll keep on tweaking something until it’s flawless.” his dad wasn’t always the easiest person to work with—he was the kind of man who wouldn’t rest until every detail was accounted for and every piece of equipment was functioning perfectly. it made him an excellent engineer, but it also irritated the people around him. “it drives my mom crazy.” his dad wasn’t perfect, but he was proud of him. blair knew he was lucky. extraordinarily lucky. to live here, in district 13, where he never had to worry about being thrown into an arena. where he didn’t have to risk his life just because his name was pulled from a bowl.
and now, so was sanguk. he was here, away from the capitol, away from whatever horrors he’d endured there. blair couldn’t help but feel relieved. safe. here, at least, sanguk didn’t have to live in fear anymore. “i heard you came from district 12,” he said, after a pause. he hesitated, wondering if it was the right thing to ask, but curiosity won out. “my dad said you worked with trains? i think that’s so cool! i’ve seen photos of those high-speed trains they use. they look incredible.”
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ “ pag tuluyan kang nabaliw , poprotektahan ko na lang ang kapatid ko mula sa’yo , baliw , ” she teases with a laugh . despite her playful tone , piper can’t deny that beau can be intimidating . “ hingi ka na lang ng reassurance sa kanya , ”
surprisingly, beau had never felt better than when he was with santi, although he still couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt sometimes... especially when he knew santi wasn't even doing anything wrong. “ayoko, nakakahiya na. palagi nalang ako humihingi ng reassurance. baka ako pa makakaubos ng pasensya niya.”
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ “ ikaw ang nakaisip , bakit hindi ikaw ang bumili ? ” seojun retorts , though deep down , he knows sehun has a point . it’s about time they put up the christmas decorations . “ maghanap ka muna ng inspo sa pinterest , ” he adds , trying to shift the task back to sehun .
shopping for christmas decorations alone wasn’t as fun. that, and they lived together! seojun’s opinion mattered just as much as his did, maybe even more. “sa pinterest? sige,” sehun said, pulling out his phone. it wasn’t like sehun was a pinterest expert or anything. the app mostly sat untouched on his phone, its only real use being to save ideas for game aesthetics—pixel art styles, indie concepts, and color palettes he liked to mess around with when inspiration hit. still, he figured this could be fun. a little bonding moment for the two of them. “gagawa ako ng board, tas iinvite kita. collab tayo.”
౨ৎ⠀ׂ ✿⠀࣭ ꒰ enzo scans the crowd , noting how most of their friends are having the time of their lives— laughing , chatting , and dancing . all of them , except tristan , whose irritation is so obvious it practically radiates off him . enzo doesn’t need to be told why . he knows exactly who’s behind it : isla . fighting the urge to laugh , he shakes his head and claps tristan on the shoulder . “ pre , enjoy ka rin minsan . wag mo na lang pansinin yung iba kung ganon . ”
enzo didn’t even need to say anything—tristan already knew he was right. sulking over isla, who hadn’t so much as glanced his way all night, was a waste of time. it didn’t make him any less annoyed, but it did make him realise how pathetic he must’ve looked, sitting there, stewing in his own frustration. isla had made her choice clear. she was too busy fawning over some guy who looked like he’d crawled out of the jungle—but that wasn’t his problem. "panong hindi ko mapapansin, eh 'dun sila mismo sa harap ng bar naglalandian. ang pangit naman ng kausap niya, eh! mukhang unggoy, tangina."