I am cold, but nice.

I now believe that pain makes you stronger. And I now believe that walking through a bunch of rainstorms makes you clean.

[roj-urrea]

I am cold, but nice. turned 6 today!

[amortizing]

We must be our own before we can be another’s.

(via amargedom)

[roj-urrea]

Tito and the pumpkin. 

[minuty]

[roj-urrea]

Meh

New professionals have this event called, oath-taking. I’d like to come tbh, it’s just Papa can’t come with me and it’s making me sad.

Alam ko masama mainggit, pero naiingit ako sa iba, they are lucky to have their parents around to witness their vows to their professions. Or at least they have someone who’s willing to spend their time with you sa oath taking. I assume that oath taking is gonna be boringggg no

I can ask Mama Ohlette, to come with me, kaso nahihiya ako. Sakanya pa ako hihingi ng pang register, pati ticket which is 800 php. Like so expensive wtf PRC, u fvkers. (Since wala pa ako work and pera)

Mababaw siguro sa iba.

Pag isipan ko kung attend pa ba ako o hindi.

[roj-urrea]

Alexia

[roj-urrea]

B O R G E

[christinebian]

[roj-urrea]

E R I E

My first dog.

Half Japanese Spitz and Pomeranian. 7 years old for human years, 44 years old in dog years. I luvs u woof woof. :>

[thepsychmind]

Fun Psychology facts here!

[roj-urrea]

P A P A

Do you know how hard it is to see your father physically and mentally disabled? You can’t have a sensible conversation with him because he doesn't have the capacity to understand like he used to? It’s exactly 1 year, 11 months and 10 days now since he got into a vehicle accident. Leaving my father a severe traumatic brain injury, particularly DAI or Diffuse Axonal Injury.

It was very hard. It is very hard.

He is my only parent. I have no siblings. I’ve been fighting the battles alone.

But with the help of mighty God, His assistance through my aunt and with few friends, I’ve made it until now.

The sadness is still there, but I still have this hope, this tiny hope that moves me forward.  

One snap of God’s finger, and taadahh, he’ll be back to normal.

[roj-urrea]

Registered Psychometrician

Just passed my Psychometrician Exam and I am genuinely happy. 

I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. I was overwhelmed with the greetings on my last birthday. Now everyone is congratulating me for passing one of the biggest exams of my life.

Salamat po ng marami Ama. Alam ko regalo nya to sakin, kasi kalahating taon daw akong malungkot at lagi umiiyak, ngayon bumubuhos ang biyaya :)

Salamat Mama ohlette kasi hinayaan mo muna ako mag review para sa boards, instead na pilitin mo akong mag trabaho agad. Ngayon, mag apply na po ako para makatulong. Ibabalik ko po lahat ng tulong nyo sa akin.

Salamat Gelo sa walang sawang pagpapayo sakin at sa pagpigil sakin na gusto ko na magpakamatay.

Salamat Wela kasi lagi ka naniniwala sa kakayahan ko, pero tamad lang ako.

Salamat Sherwin sa pagsupport at pag comfort sakin sa lahat ng bagay.

Kung hahayaan ako ng Ama, mag aaral ulit ako next year, at kung maka graduate, mag tatake naman ako ng exam for Psychologist.

I want to be my Father’s Own Psychologist.

Salamat Ama. Higit sa lahat, babalik na po ako sa tungkulin.

:)

[goodreadss]

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.”

Eleanor Roosevelt (via goodreadss)

[roj-urrea]

Another Saturday Morning

How are you? If you got some time to read my blog, thank you. But I don’t actually need readers. This is just some way to sublimate all the inner thoughts of mine. I am not lucky as you, I don’t always have someone to talk to.

It’s Saturday and it’s raining again. It always rains here. I love rain to be honest. Except whenever it rains, it floods inside our house. >.< I live in our grandparents' house, and yes it is pretty pretty old. But this is home, I have lived here for 24 years of my life, but if you will ask me if I would like to move somewhere else, I will absolutely say yes.

Today, I am on my duty with Papa, since his caregiver has some errand to do. Can’t remember the last time I took care of him. I actually missed hanging out with Papa. I have been busy for the past few months due to the preparation of my licensure exam. So, yeah, I’m free to do anything and even write some nonsense things.

Since I’ve finished my exam just last week, my auntie, who’s in charge of everything in our house is expecting me to apply to a fine job around our town. It is my plan anyway. Butttt I was caught up with Stranger Things 2 and Riverdale now, so I will probably reschedule my plan next Monday! Hihi I mean I just got done with my sleepless nights and frustrating exams, I need some chill down moments. We need those.

As a promise, I will just look for a job here in our town so I can keep monitoring my father. I am thankful because my auntie pays for his caregivers. I can’t afford to pay caregivers’ fees, I am very thankful my auntie got mi back.

I’d like to make some deal with my auntie, as soon as I got a job. I was planning that my income will be spent on our food, Papa’s maintenance (Gloves, alcohol, wipes, and stuff). I’ll think about Papa’s medication, because daaang, those antipsychotics, and antidepressants pills are way too expensive. Maybe half half? And of course, about the caregivers’ fees, I will ask her if she can continue to pay for it. Hehe. Others stuff that is needed in the house, I will try my best to provide it. :>

If God will allow it, hope I can save some little earnings for traveling! :p

So, that’s it. I’ll continue watching Riverdale while Papa’s asleep. Hope everyone’s having a good Saturday morning.

[roj-urrea]

B I R T H D A Y

Life has been pretty hard for me for the past two years. Caused me to almost gave up life for so many times, but God prevented me to do those silly things. This year I discovered who were my real friends and family are, (May mga kaibigan lang talaga sa saya mo lang kaibigan, may pamilyang dugo lang ang pinag konek nyo lol) And it made me realized that I dont need that big circle i had before. I've learned to appreciate all the small and big things that have been given to me. And of course, I also realized that prayers and firmed faith works. I survived another year through devotional prayers and it worked, I had doubts before, but I'm back. Spiritually mejo matured. Loud and proud.

Thanks, mama Olet for always being there for Papa, for us. If I could just take all the burden away from you, I would, but all I could just do right now is to pray for you and for your family. I'll make it up to you soon. Big thanks to Sherwin for supporting me for everything, and for some few friends who know how I spent my days and nights alone.

Being completely surrounded by people who said they care, yet you still feel lonely. Being with your only family, Papa, but you still feel sad. It may sound selfish... but it has been almost two years.... two years. Do you have any idea how do I sleep at night.. Do you know how lonely it has been.. Do you know how hard it was for me to go on...

I dont actually need attention, I dont even like opening up to people anymore, but some people are so dense, it's so imperative to explain things here. All I want is understanding because some people keep judging me for not taking care of things the way they want it. I need to let this out because I am so tired showing that I am not affected. I have my own battles inside me and I'm also trying my best. Just leave me alone.

I don't need pity, I need empathy, do you know what empathy means? Placing yourself in my situation. Thank you.

As I was saying, I may not have the things i've always been wishing, I dont even like what situation I am right now, but i know God has plans for me. God, has His weird ways of guiding me somewhere safe. He'll take care of me, He knows what's best for me. And besides, mapaparam ang lahat ng pighati, so tiis lang. I am very proud of what have I've become. I didn't know I could this be patient and strong. The only wish I could think of right now is my father's well being. I hope u have some time to wish it for me, too. (Birthday ko naman :D)

I'm doing good, exhausted from Blepp, but I'm 70/100 okay right now!! It's actually a good birthday, no depressive episodes for the past 3 months. :) Sorry for my few friends I've promised I'd spent my birthday with, realized ill just stay at home tonight. Sorry for being KJ. I know. Thanks for all the greetings! See u when i see u.

[1000drawings]

Can you just come here?  by Sophie Schultz

[roj-urrea]

"Sentience" To seek and enjoy sensuous impression.