Hidden Relationship with Essek
Aight. This boy is long. And kinda angsty but its happy I promise. @terrainhead
gods I hope I wrote him well
You stretched your arms after a minute or two of being awake. Your hand hit skin and you turned over smiling softly. Essek was still asleep. You softly ran your hands through his hair. He grumbled softly and rolled over so you faced his back.
âNo iâm going back to sleep.â You pout at his back and turn crossing your arms backs now facing each other. The pout fades when an arm is wrapped around your waist and your pulled into a warm chest. Kisses are lightly placed on your neck and you sigh happily. The noises of the rest of nein getting ready to start their day. You sigh happily. Wait..
âShit. SHIT Essek get up.â You whisper but enough to get his attention. He looks at you eyebrow raised. âEssek we fell asleep. The rest of the nein are getting up.â He closes his eyes like heâs going to back to sleep then his eyes shoot open.
âOh fuck.â He hurries out of bed shoving you out in the process falling to the floor with a thud. A minute passes and his shirt is barely in his hand when the you hear the knock.
âHey uh⊠We heard a thud. Are you okay?â You hear Yasha through your door. You and Essek look at each other in panic as you get up and run to the door opening it a little peeking your head out.
âYeah Iâm okay just uh⊠rolled out of bed⊠on accident. Iâm fine. Thank you Yasha iâll be down in a minute.â You shut the door when you see her head off towards the rest of the nein. You sigh and put your head in your hands. You feel soft hands on top of yours and move them off your face.Â
âHey⊠iâm sorry I shoved you off the bed.â You shake your head and move past him going to change into your everyday wear. You hear him sigh and continue to get himself dressed. After the basics of your outfit are on hands grab your waist and pull you into a now clothed body. âDo you need me to kiss where you fell?â You can feel him smirking as he rests his chin on your shoulder lightly kissing your neck and jaw. You sigh and move yourself out of his arms to sit on your bed.
âEssek, what if they had caught us?â You donât make eye contact, your hands suddenly becoming the most interesting thing youâve ever seen.Â
âI wouldnât have let them see me you know this I told you that-â
âWhat if I want them to catch us?â Essek stops and looks at you. You're shocked at yourself for finally saying it but still shocked. He sighs and starts to go on and you space out. Its a conversation youâve had before. The den⊠The dynasty⊠Too many things in his opinion for you two to be together freely. You feel yourself getting emotional and fight the tears as you nod. âYouâre right youâre right. Ignore me.â You smile softly and push yourself off your bed. You get to your bedroom door and open it ready to slip out but you turn to him. âYou know your way out?â
He looks surprised. You almost always kissed him before he teleported away. Yet here you were openly bidding him goodbye. He took a step forward to get some sort of affection before he left but you smiled sadly and left the bedroom. He sighed and when you reopened the bedroom door a minute later he was gone.Â
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You had been off all day. Everyone in the nein knew yet none of them knew how to help. When asking what was wrong you shrugged it off.Â
âEveryone has off days guys. Iâm allowed.â You had said quietly and when you looked sad in that moment they decided dropping it for now would be ideal. At some point or another you had ended up on the rooftop with Caduceus. He was tending for the garden while you watched quietly. Occasionally heâd ask you about general, easy topics. He wasnât pushing your dilemma. You listen as he rambles off another story about his siblings and you hum once and awhile so he knows youâre somewhat listening. You keep replaying your conversation with Essek that morning.Â
You probably couldâve handled it better but also you had every right to be upset. You loved him. He knew that. This wasnât just some⊠physical thing. You had real feelings for him and you couldnât keep bottling them up. You donât want to lose him but you couldnât keep being this upset every time you had this conversation and then not talk to your friends about it. You decide that next time you see him, if you see him before the nein takes off again, youâre going to give him the choice. You really donât want to give him the choice. He hasnât chosen you yet and you highly doubt he will.
âYouâre thinking too hard to be listening.â You shoot your head up to look at Caduceus who looks concerned and amused.Â
âSorry Cad, lost in thought today.â You smile softly and he nods going back to his story about his family and you intently listen this time. You hear the door to the garden open but donât pay much attention, focusing on Caduceus and his story. He however looks up, looks back and you and stands.Â
âI should uh⊠Go make tea. Iâll be back.â Confused your eyes follow him as he leaves only to land on Essek standing in the doorway. You sigh and go back to staring at the plants, you feel like sit cross legged near you and you continue focusing on the plants. You knew you had to give him this choice but you didnât think it would be this soon. You sigh and look up at him. His eyes are soft and thereâs an emotion in them youâve never seen. He moves a hand like heâs going to touch you but stops himself eyes darting between you and his hand before moving it back down. Your eyes move away from him at this. You already knew the choice he was going to make. You just wish it wouldnât hurt as much.Â
âI uh⊠I shouldâve have asked. Before just coming over.â You smile softly.
âThatâs never stopped you before.â Your eyes focus on the plants swaying slightly in the breeze. You hear him sigh again.Â
âLook, we should really discuss-â
âI was out of place Essek.â His face changes with the tone of your voice. âI know why you want us a secret. I understand and I respect that. But⊠But i cant keep doing this. I canât keep beating myself up because youâre not allowed to love me. I love you. I love you so so much and I just canât do this to myself anymore Essek.â Your eyes move to your hands which you fiddle with. You want to look at him. You owe him that much but you canât. You see his hand cup your cheek and move so you look at him. You made a point to not cry about the secrecy of the relationship in front of him but here you are, tears slipping out against your will. His thumb wiped one away before continuing to stroke your cheek bone.Â
â(y/n), my love. I love you. You know that right?â You nod softly, seeing where this was going you attempt to blink back the rest of the tears. âYou know that regardless of my den⊠my status.. Any of that I love you with every life I have?â You nod again unable to meet his eyes. âYou know that⊠I. I told my den. That I was in love with you?â You go to nod but stop eyes meeting his as he smiles at you softly.
âWhat?â If you hadnât been the one to say it you wouldnât have knows the words slipped out of your mouth. He kissed a tear that slipped out of your eye. He continued kissing all over your face placing his forehead against yours before he kissed your lips.Â
âI love you.â He pulls back to look into your eyes. âI love you so much.â You put your hands on his face and stare into his eyes.Â
âCan I⊠Can I kiss you in front of people?â Your eyes are wide as he smiles at you fondly.
âIf youâll have me tonight I wonât have to shove you out of bed, your friends can see us.â You feel yourself tearing up again as he wipes the tears again. âAre you still that upset about me shoving you out of the bed?â You giggle and shove him lightly his hands stay glued to your face as he moves back to you. âIâm going to kiss you now, is that alright?â You nod and move forward smiling into the kiss.