I have some very specific music that I listen to when I'm headed to take an exam, and the song selection depends upon the amount of anxiety I am feeling about that particular test. Today's selection was a fan-made medley of all the different Trek themes, and I didn't turn off the CD player when I left my car to go inside the testing center and take the Praxis--I just turned off my car.
About 1/3 of the way through the test, I knew I was failing. I had to be. It felt like I'd had to shrug my shoulders on every other problem and choose what felt like the best out of droves of terrible answers (aside from the things I genuinely did not know) and move on, and that didn't bode well.
1/2 of the way through, I was already mentally reviewing the materials I'd have to gather and the strategies I'd need to retake it, and how I'd scrape up the cash to pay for another attempt.
3/4 of the way through I was attempting to solace the already crushing sense of defeat, and tell myself that having to retake ONE exam in my life isn't a bad thing, especially after performing so well on the GRE and ACT, and making up the comforting 'lies' I'd tell myself and other people to excuse my failure.
By the last 40 questions, I was dull-eyed and exhausted. I'm still sick, and a 2.5 hour, 150 question test is hardly designed to ease the sufferer's fevered brow.
Anyway—because this is a computer administered test, we get our scores at the end. We had the chance to cancel our scores (rather than have them submitted to any of the institutions we'd selected), but the caveat there is that you couldn't see them before cancelling them.
Oh friends, I was so tempted.
I knew I'd never be able to forget it if I cancelled them without seeing them, though, so I steeled my gut and clicked through.
The scores on the Praxis were a little hard to get information on, but I finally found some last night. The base acceptable score for Utah is 149. The median score (nationwide, I believe) for the Biology content exam is a 162, and the average range is something like 150-175.
Not only had I not failed, I'd blown the average straight out of the water.
I was in genuine shock as I signed out of the test, my hand shaking so hard I could barely write my name. I shivered my way down the stairs and outside, then got into my car. I turned on the engine and then took a long breath—and my CD player kicked on, going straight into the Main Title from the Wrath of Khan.
Victory. The triumph of reason over fear. The pushing forward of boundaries. The establishment of logic, order and discovery over chaos and ignorance. My friends, that music has never been so aptly played in any ears, Human or Romulan.
I'm done. My scores will be reported within two weeks, and I will officially be applying for my licensure.
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