Mental health update 12/22/24
Hello all !
Since 2024 is almost over, I've chosen to reflect quite a bit on how things have been going.
This year alone has been the worst to my brain ever, which is insane to think about. I think I've been letting things bubble up inside of me for 22 years and it hit its breaking point recently.
Thankfully, medicine was rather easy for me to get access to because of my university. Turns out you just have to ask the clinic for medicine because you REALLY want to kill yourself and they just give it to you. The effects were wonderous ! I used to be such an angry, pessimistic asshole all the time and now I'm just ... me. About a month after being on meds, being angry felt like a weird foreign emotion. Holy moly !
I still get the occasional suicidal thought, and sometimes I REALLY still want to kill myself even if my prospects in life are good. Truth is, I've just been very lonely these days. I have real life friends who I hang out with, but I think my social life being online for a good chunk of my life made it so that I crave the online attention every once in a while. I do appreciate it when someone I know from here checks up on me.
Now that OFF has returned, my brain has postponed killing myself for a bit longer because I'd like to enjoy the small things in life. I'm hoping it stays that way, though.
Here's to 2025 being a better year for my mental health.
Cheers,
Rose
