The Usual Malarkey @roshnir - Tumblr Blog

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roshnir

Wearing our rugged jeans and clunky heels,

I wonder, have we forgotten about our elegant sarees?

Quibbling over division of states,

Are we patriots only on August the 15th?

We hold grudges against our neighbors,

And prejudices against other religions,

We yearn to be people we’re not.

Our pictures beginning to look vintage, we bleach out hair

And sport emo hairstyles with pride

We have enough money to spend on new iPhones and buy illegal weed

We stuff ourselves and McDonald’s

While we watch people starving right outside with cool apathy,

And then we get on Facebook and blame our government for being corrupt, cavalier and greedy

We are the future of our country; we are the face of India of the 21st century

Yet we are Indians only in our passports,

We belong nowhere but in our little philistine worlds full of dreams and levity and a back-up plan

Because in the end, chalta hai.

We know little and less about ourselves, Our main sources being half-truths from the news and internet memes,

But we become mavericks when we carp about our country

Because it makes more sense to react to a gang rape by pulling our chairs closer to the computer screen and typing away to glory.

We are the real crooks, murderers, thieves, Despoiling our country, every one of us, turn by turn, bit by bit.

After all, who wants to get their hands dirty?

Improved version of something I’d written around a month back. Recited it in college during the program. Everyone was impressed. One of the alumni also mentioned it in his speech. He said: like the lady(i.e. me!!, but isn’t lady a bit too old-ish??) the chalta hai attitude blah blah. I think this is my highest point ever. Was so happy. Teacher screaming at me for something else didn’t burst my bubble. I was grinning like a total idiot, but I was happy, really, really happy. Another teacher who usually doesn’t deign to speak to us said I had good ‘diction’, whatever that meant. But, score Roshni! I think I must give it a title. But can’t really think of any. Open to suggestions here.

Yeah, that was my zenith because after that, I began to hit bottom fast. I have 2 presentations due tomorrow, one of which I haven’t even started(nada even as I’m typing). For the other, I need to convince my teammates (teammate, really. Only one difficult idiotic one) to not put in a lot of their brain and change the stuff I’ve done. And then I have to read about Quality something, an entire chapter from Juran and make a slideshow based on it. And for tomorrow, the work study class, I have done close to nothing. We were supposed to have decreased time taken by a process of our choice(the setting up of the projector in our case). We have brilliant ideas, yes. But haven’t implemented them as of yet. And I doubt we will tomorrow. I am not very good at end-minute jobs like my asshole teammate who is relaxed. That bastard! And then, since today being a holiday and all, my house is apparently a home for bored people who have a holiday and their families. So we have 2 rounds of guests that I cannot escape from. But I do something to my already, almost made, but lacking presentation and when Guest Group #2 leave, I realize that someone closed PowerPoint, saving any of the changes I had made! And then my Mom calls me down, asking me for my laptop. She wants to Skype. All this on 4 hours of sleep.

I think the universe finds it amusing to fuck with me. I feel like the ant under the magnifying glass. I think one day I will explode and only then will I be really happy.

I know now why I am sort of obsessed with Boys Before Flowers. It is a great escape route from everything that is messed up in my life

#Sunrise at #Mathanga #Hills, #Hampi (at Matanga Hill)

#hampi #mathanga #hills #sunrise

About Hampi, bicycles and the deathly hollows (at Mango Tree Hampi)

I wish I was as comfortable with people in office as I am on tumblr.

#allthingstumblr

After a couple of unsuccessful job interviews, one can not help but feel dejected, useless. I spent a sleepless night prior to an interview with a company I was keen on. No surprise there. I couldn’t read the boring book I was reading(yes, David Copperfield is boring), I couldn’t listen to the audiobook I was listening to, I was too distracted to watch videos of my favourite channels on YouTube. So I just lay there. Looking at the shapes silhouetted by the faint light from the window, the patterns the motion of the fan made. I thought about the conversations I have had with people, the mistakes I made in the past.

Usually, I avoid these self-evaluation thoughts; they tend to be suicidal more often than not. But this time I wasn’t thinking about me as me. I was thinking about me as if I were observing from the point of view of the walls or the air. No judgement, no critical punishment, just plain observation. I asked the air-me questions about the physical-me and answered partly like the air-me and partly like the physical-me.

Now, my intention is not to lie to a company just to land a job. I am desperate. And I am not going to say that I am not THAT desperate, I am THAT desperate. But I wouldn’t do it. I couldn’t give my employer a lie or worse, live one.

I digress.

I was thinking about everything. Who am I? What defines me? What motivates me? There is no true answer to these questions, and there are no wrong answers to these questions. We are all changing every second. If there was ever a formula to define human nature, it could be placed on the basis of Heisenberg’s theory of Uncertainty and it would come close to the truth

I also got to thinking why we are so afraid of interviews. They are generally not there to test our knowledge. We are freshers, ergo we are malleable metal, we can learn. But the question most employers want answered is if we can adapt. Will we be accepted and happy in their organisation? We only need to be ourselves. That is good enough. We are scared we’ll end up saying something wrong and ruin our chances. I dont think I should be afraid to be myself.

Tomorrow is my last chance at getting a job. If tomorrow doesn’t work out, I shall have two more days in terms of time and no more in terms of confidence. I am nervous as I ought to be. I keep asking myself if I am prepared. And I am afraid the answer does not seem like a happy prospect.

Someone recently told me I like reading books because I am lazy. It is not challenging for me to read a book. I read and finish and read more. I am not creating anything, I am not giving books enough time to settle and in fact, I give up on life when I am in my reading mode. Am I being fair to myself? For instance, I should have brushed up on a few topics before my interviews tomorrow. Instead I sat in front of the laptop reading Atlas Shrugged like a maniac. In the long term, I would probably regret preferring to read it over learning/revising. Undoubtedly. So why do I insist on making mistakes in spite of consciously knowing I am making them?

Je suis malade

I have been a little sick since last night. My hypothalamus was unable to regulate my body temperature. The unsavoury result: alternating episodes of feeling extremely cold and kicking off my blanket. My throat, on the other hand, being the great help it usually is, feels like it had unprotected sex with sandpaper. I hope your choice in men improves, mon chere throat But the thing that irks me most is when I use my costly shampoo, my hair falls in these amazing layers. And the next day it's greasy as, well, as greasy as hair can get. THAT riles me Well, it's good to know that being a little sick puts things into perspective.

Soft relaxing music plays in the background. One can imagine sipping a cup of coffee, basking in the sun in a sunny cafe somewhere in the south of France. But the video... While watching the movie, I expected him to do something nice, but there he went imagining breaking stuff.

Strangely, now that I think about it, I have also had such episodes, when I am so angry, that I have to call on my evil Mr Hyde to steal me away for the moment to break stuff. And this kind of violence is calming, numbing. I see nothing then, feel nothing.

At first I thought the use of this sot of music for this clip was funny. It isn't. It is very relevant.

Also, I loved the movie.

#j'ai tué ma mère

It’s time to put an end to victim blaming once and for all.

India has a long way to go and many battles to win. This is an inspiring way to protest. Maybe next time we'll do more than sit around with candles

#mydressmychoice

roshnir

The Indian Culture which was standing so brave against the western culture all these days has really iriked the western stalwarts(in my own words motherf**ckers)….The greeks,romans and all other cultures had succumbed to their invasion since they don’t have the power of great history & pride as of Indian Civilization..But the recently a lot many people got attracted to the western culture as it doesn’t ask to the people to respect any thing and ask them to live as free birds(by which they mean Drug Addicts, Alcohol Addicts, Porn Addicts & so on) and the real one which has freedom of thoughts unlike the Church Ruled past of west…They all want one thing..Destroy the divine Indian Culture and thus bring in the unhealthy & unethical life style of West…..Once the west had conquered the India then I am pretty sure that the Burqa World will start their action…..Because this is what they are doing now in European countries now..Conversion…Because we all are seeing that western countries are running for peace of mind..they accept India’s yoga as the most beautiful thing in their life which can be proved by the tremendous support received for Modi’s call for International Yoga Day…If they are happy in their culture, why they come to India and accept the Guruji’s here….If Indians are not living happily here, the Yoga would had got wide acceptance here before the west had accepted it….They want to live with god and thus they accept the Yoga and Islam where in Islam the most diligent form of Workship than any religion…3 time prayer and after every prayer they hug each other….I am sure if we don’t resist this nonsensical people, we will see our houses running out of peace our villages runnng out of togetherness &our country being wide split for the vultures( Pakis & Chinese )

Somebody named Hari Krishnan posted this on a Facebook thread in a conversation about the “Kiss of Love”. I would have liked to tell him what I am going to write right now, but I am afraid the Government will arrest me for saying stuff against them. I have read stories of this sort, so caution is recommended in such issues.

Sir,

Firstly, in all your moral righteousness, the use of the word ‘motherfuckers’ is so unbecoming of you, don’t you think? Secondly, grammatical errors IRK me. As do spelling mistakes. We live in a world where we have this wonderful thing called autocorrect at our disposal. But you obviously don’t believe in getting along with the times. Which brings me to my next point. REALLY??? If you feel so strongly against the Western culture, don’t be a hypocrite and flush your phone down your Indian toilet(in all your Indian self-righteousness, I am sure you do not condone the use of a western commode) I would have had a lot to say to you, but I honestly cannot understand what you wanted to say. But I get the idea that you don’t like Pakistanis and the Chinese. I only hope you have done humanity a favour by not having kids.

(via roshnir)

Mou, I am appalled you would think I would write something like that!!! But yeah, that man made me very angry.

The Indian Culture which was standing so brave against the western culture all these days has really iriked the western stalwarts(in my own words motherf**ckers)....The greeks,romans and all other cultures had succumbed to their invasion since they don't have the power of great history & pride as of Indian Civilization..But the recently a lot many people got attracted to the western culture as it doesn't ask to the people to respect any thing and ask them to live as free birds(by which they mean Drug Addicts, Alcohol Addicts, Porn Addicts & so on) and the real one which has freedom of thoughts unlike the Church Ruled past of west...They all want one thing..Destroy the divine Indian Culture and thus bring in the unhealthy & unethical life style of West.....Once the west had conquered the India then I am pretty sure that the Burqa World will start their action.....Because this is what they are doing now in European countries now..Conversion...Because we all are seeing that western countries are running for peace of mind..they accept India's yoga as the most beautiful thing in their life which can be proved by the tremendous support received for Modi's call for International Yoga Day...If they are happy in their culture, why they come to India and accept the Guruji's here....If Indians are not living happily here, the Yoga would had got wide acceptance here before the west had accepted it....They want to live with god and thus they accept the Yoga and Islam where in Islam the most diligent form of Workship than any religion...3 time prayer and after every prayer they hug each other....I am sure if we don't resist this nonsensical people, we will see our houses running out of peace our villages runnng out of togetherness &our country being wide split for the vultures( Pakis & Chinese )

Somebody named Hari Krishnan posted this on a Facebook thread in a conversation about the "Kiss of Love". I would have liked to tell him what I am going to write right now, but I am afraid the Government will arrest me for saying stuff against them. I have read stories of this sort, so caution is recommended in such issues.

Sir,

Firstly, in all your moral righteousness, the use of the word 'motherfuckers' is so unbecoming of you, don't you think? Secondly, grammatical errors IRK me. As do spelling mistakes. We live in a world where we have this wonderful thing called autocorrect at our disposal. But you obviously don't believe in getting along with the times. Which brings me to my next point. REALLY??? If you feel so strongly against the Western culture, don't be a hypocrite and flush your phone down your Indian toilet(in all your Indian self-righteousness, I am sure you do not condone the use of a western commode) I would have had a lot to say to you, but I honestly cannot understand what you wanted to say. But I get the idea that you don't like Pakistanis and the Chinese. I only hope you have done humanity a favour by not having kids.

roshnir

This is a rendition of Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call me maybe’ makes so much more sense than the original song.

Although I did not understand a word during the Hindi translation. Actually, I didn’t even realize someone was singing in Hindi until I saw the script

roshnir

Which language is it, if not Hindi?

This is a rendition of Carly Rae Jepsen's 'Call me maybe' makes so much more sense than the original song.

Although I did not understand a word during the Hindi translation. Actually, I didn't even realize someone was singing in Hindi until I saw the script

#Skypememaybe

I just finished reading the lord of the flies. Motivation, I realise can be a tricky thing. Ralph seemed like a sort of Brutus figure, self-righteous and reasonable. Jack, on the other hand wanted to hunt. Hunting is an adrenaline charged, group activity that gives you delicious results in the end. Who wouldn't pick that over Ralph's boring fire-tending, shelter-building and congress sessions? Ralph is like Napoleon and jack like Snowball, sort of. I'm going to start reading A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce. The last book I read that was written by an Irishman was Angela's Ashes 5 years ago. I haven't forgotten it yet. Also, I was thinking of breaking the rules this time and reading the synopsis before reading the book. I've never done that with any book I've read, but I wanted to try.

#modiatmadison

Narendra Modi's speech was captivating. Was it the famous hashtags in social media or the well-crafted ads on television or the glamour of Madison Square, I do not know. Nevertheless, the crowd did go: Bharat mata ki JAI. Patriotism was at its highest in America. In India, we know better, we know the truth.

We know Bharat Natiyam doesn’t look like that, and we sing our national anthem another way. But when in Rome, do as the Romans do, right?

There are a few things that Modi spoke about that I would like to ponder a bit more on.

I am writing this as a sort of a conversational letter to Mr Modi. I may sway off track at times. I apologise for that in advance and I will try my best to avoid discrepancies in the narrative.

Sir,

I have tried to watch the speeches of your predecessors on Television. I could not understand most of what they were saying because they were speaking in Hindi. I am a South Indian, but I have learnt Hindi for 10 years in school. I do speak Hindi fairly well with my friends, who are currently mostly from UP and Bihar and my mother who is from Bombay.

Having said that, I started watching TV hoping to hear your speech in a language that I understand best, English. Given the media storm your visit has created, I don’t believe I was wrong to expect anything else. I have several friends and cousins and aunts and uncles who are settled in the United States and I can assure you that most of them don’t speak Hindi well enough to understand Bollywood movies without subtitles, let alone your speech. That may be because of their South Indian lineage or their American upbringing, or both.

As one can say that South India is as much a part of North India is, I noticed that your speech conveniently forgot to mention any South Indian state while you were talking about "Bihar se leke Bengal tak". That offended me.

English may not be an Indian language, but I believe it is a language that binds us Indians together more than Hindi does. You should see how the Tamilians respond to Hindi speaking folk.

You also mentioned that Indians are everywhere in the world. That is sort of true. But I doubt we have as much coverage as the Chinese. But that is not a point I wanted to make. Indians are all over the world. Accepted. But are people from all over the world ready to come and live in India? Second generation Indians living in America don’t want to settle down in India. Indians don’t want to stay in India. Why is that? You will agree with me when I say there are several reasons for that. Which brings me to my next point: cleanliness

I couldn’t agree with you more. The need to not litter should be inculcated in every Indian mindset. We must let go of "Yeh India hai, chalta hai". No bro, nahi chalta hai. That cigarette butt that you don’t throw on the road, makes the road cleaner, whether you like it or not. And teach your children and friends the same. Lead by example. So what if you have to pick up somebody else's shit a few dozen times. That shit will decrease eventually. Shame them into making themselves better. The Gandhi way. (I understand that the Gandhi way is subject to interpretation in different ways.)

I was thinking of spreading the idea of stewardship of the public resources. Have billboards and posters in public places showing people how much of it they own, and how much of their money is in it. This may be a small amount, but it is their money.

You spoke very highly of Mahatma Gandhi. You did make a mistake once, you called him Mohanlal Karamchand Gandhi instead of Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. That's alright, sir. Everybody makes mistakes. We understand. But when you took the sacrifices of our revolutionists as disposable, recyclable deaths, you were gravely unjust to them, sir. We cannot all dwell in what if's and many hot-blooded youngsters criticise Mahatma Gandhiji for his non-violent approach. I neither agree nor disagree with them. I believe everyone had their own part to play and things would have turned out differently if we erased anybody's input in the struggle for our independence. I hope you will take special care to not belittle peoples' efforts in the future, sir.

Thank you for your time.

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