โwhy are you giggling so much?โ diluc says, attempting to hide the smallest of smirks himself.
as you both bask under the warmth shining through the glossy windows, the thinnest breeze brushing ever so softly.
with the longest list of tasks known to man lying on his desk, you both decided it was the perfect day to stay in!
your giggles paired with his huffy chuckles, somehow winning your playful fight with him. as a reward, youโd wanted a kiss. yet somehow, he rewarded you with something better.
with diluc lying shirtless underneath you, proudly displaying his muscular form, hands resting within the plush of your waist, summed up with his handsome smile.
you sat above him, his thick thighs lay between your soft ones. the toothy grin of yours that diluc could never get tired of slowly grew onto your lips every time his fingers made the slightest of movement.
โstop that!โ you say, smacking his chest.
โi donโt know what youโre talking about,โ he says, as his long manly fingers continue to attack your sides.
after you somehow manage to escape from his grasp, you tackle his hands to his sides, putting pressure on it to prevent from tickling you once more.
once you could catch your breath, the laughter of you and diluc echoed through the room.
sitting back up, your mouth moved to say something.
though, it was too late, because his palm cupped the back of your head, pushing it towards his, lips colliding with one another.
the sounds of wet kisses and whimpers could only be heard between the two of you, and you two alone.
with empty thoughts and a blank brain, youโve never wished for a moment to last for an eternity.
after who knows how long youโd been making out for, your doe eyes made contact with his.
licking your lips hungrily while staring at his, you whispered โi love you, diluc.โ
feeling like his heart was about to race out of his chest, he pushed your face towards his once more.
he softly muttered against your lips, โi love you even fucking more.โ
โwhat are you doing?โ you say, giggling while shoving his pout creased face away from yours.
since this morning, youโve been struggling to get a breath of air from carl gallagher.
when you attempted to use the bathroom, he pulled you deeper into his warmth.
successfully sneaking out, you made breakfast for the both of you while striking up a conversation with ian.
though, shortly after ian left the room, you felt muscular arms wrapping around your waist.
with the roll of your eyes, you felt carl gallagher nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck.
โi just want to love you,โ he said, pulling you closer to him by grabbing from underneath your chair, โdo you hate me?โ
โi never said that,โ brushing your fingers through his hair, he hummed in satisfaction, โiโm just trying to do some things is all.โ
โweโll do those things together then,โ he said, rubbing his cheeks into the palms of your hands, staring up at you with his puppy eyes.
smiling to yourself, you say, โyouโre so clingy this morning. whatโs up with that?โ
โi woke up desperately wanting to be with you more than usual,โ he said, softly kissing your hands, โis it a bad thing?โ
โnot at all,โ you mumble, giving into his plumped lips every so delicately.
in the moment, it was just the two of you, loving one another in your own little world.
โare you done sucking each others face off?โ asked lip, walking in with a plate ready in his hand, โbecause i donโt know if i can keep my food down if you guys continue.โ
tags/cw: reader is female, mommy is used but not in a sexual way, angst, your heart will hurt, secret breakup, sakusa and reader have a child
wc: 1.2k
a/n: i apologize for not posting, i was on a trip lol, THIS STORY HURT WHILE WRITING :sob:
"i don't think i'd ever want to have kids."
sakusa's words echo through your head as you stare at the white, popcorn, ceiling above you, your short limbs are starfished on the bed.
you don't know how it happened, what happened.
you didn't think he was being truthful to his words, until you unexpectedly had your daughter.
you remembered his blank face, the color had drained.
in that moment, you blurted out that you could make rearrangements with each other, so long as the both of you were in your child's life.
you had a long talk with him, but eventually agreed to: still living together, still sleeping in the same bed, still being together. but, you didn't have to consider each other as a partner. at least, not in front of others. you didn't need to show affection, but you had to at least show something in front of your child, so that they wouldn't suspect anything. all fights and arguments had to be away from your child, or behind doors.
your heart broke after agreeing to these arrangements, but you didn't want your child to live the same hard life you had to when you were younger. you felt that your child never deserved that kind of treatment, especially when they have done absolutely nothing wrong to be treated differently.
"mommy?" your little girl calls out for you, her small chubby arm wrapped around her teddy, "i had a nightmare."
you turn your head to her small frame in the doorway, "c'mere baby."
your daughter wobbles her way to your bed, sticking her arms out to you to carry her. you hook your hands underneath her arms, laying her down in your arms.
"when is daddy coming home, mommy?" your daughter asks.
"im not sure baby. if he comes home while you're awake, make sure to tell him that dinner is on the table, okay?" you say. she nods.
you sigh to yourself as your heart aches, examining your daughters features closely. she looks exactly like sakusa. the exact same moles, place in the same place as his, same curly hair, same features, everything.
no matter how many times you try to forget the love you shared with her father, you always find yourself falling in love with him, all over again. but you must remind yourself that he is never going to love you the way you always have, no matter the circumstance.
you've always wanted to run away from this house you share with sakusa, but you could never leave this little girl that came into the world. you could never do that to her; you promised yourself long ago that you would stay here just for her, no matter how painful your living days have become.
a small tiny snore brings you out of your deep thoughts. you know its your daughter. you bring your hand to her soft jet-black hair, slowly petting her hair down. you clutch her close to your chest, silently sobbing to yourself.
you'd never wish this kind of pain on anyone, not even on sakusa.
you had remembered another part of your agreement: that the both of you were allowed to see anyone you wanted, so long as your child wouldn't see. to do your best to hide who you were seeing for that while. you didn't want your child to develop the thought of cheating.
there were many times where your child had almost caught the red lipstick marks on sakusa's neck, the different scent on him whenever he came home extremely late. out of your painful love for him, you had defended him. you didn't want your child to catch onto your secret arrangements, she didn't deserve that pain.
you give a small kiss to your child's forehead, whispering a mumbled 'i love you' to her.
you've never held onto someone so close to you in your life.
"im home," sakusa calls out to you, expecting to be greeted by his daughter running up to him with her cheery little smile, identical to yours, along with your leaning frame on the kitchen counter. but he was only met with nothing.
his gaze was turned to the dinning table, a plate and basic utensils were set on the table, in front of his un-assigned chair. along with other plates of food prepared for him.
for some weird reason, he didn't want this kind of deafening silence. he didn't want this. he wanted something else, but he didn't know what he wanted.
he kicked off his work shoes, hung his coat on the nearby rack, then walked quietly. he didn't know where his feet was leading him too, but he didn't care. he wanted to get what he was craving for.
his foot suddenly stopped him in the middle of an open doorway. his gaze then landed on his mini copy of him, cuddling the girl he was craving for. he felt himself swallow harshly, his hands became clammy, sweat had appeared across the crown of his hair. he didn't know why he was acting like a school boy for a girl like her. he didn't know why he was reacting like this.
hod on, he's craving... her? he wasn't supposed to. he wasn't allowed to, wasn't he? they agreed to meet other people, surely she wasn't craving for him like how he is for her at this moment. surely, she doesn't love him the way he always has. surely, he isn't thinking like this right now.
surely, he doesn't love her anymore, right? or.. is he lying to himself? has he always lied to himself? has he created an illusion, thinking he's never loved her but in reality, he's never fallen so head over heels for her?
sakusa didn't want to admit it. he didn't want to admit that he's still so in love with her, even after everything that has happened between the two of them.
flashbacks of him kissing his daughters forehead, then kissing his ex-lover's forehead, whispered 'i love you's, fixing his ex-lovers hair behind her ear, kissing his ex-lovers hand, giving her the treatment he's always wanted to do, all while she and their daughter were sleeping.
he didn't want to admit that he was still in love with his ex-lover after all this time, after all these moments of affection that had happened while she was sleeping.
he didn't think it was right of him to do so. after all, all of this happened because of him, didn't it?
he didn't think he would fall in love with his ex-lover all over again, when he came home every day to the sight of his ex-lover playing with their daughter.
sakusa thought that she didn't deserve that pain he had created in her heart, he wanted her to move on from him. he had always wanted the best for her, that she's always deserved the best. the best girl in the whole world deserves the best.
sakusa has always been suffering silently because of all the choices he's made. the only thing that can heal him from the pain he'd created, is the sight of his ex-lover and their daughter, being at peace with each other.
he didn't care if he wasn't in the picture. so long as they were both happy, he's happy too.
a/n: sorry i havenโt been posting, iโve just been sick is all but im better now :))
wc: 305
โaaand- here you go. okay, bye now!โ kankuro zooms out the door after he brushes off his hands together, entrusting you to take care of his baby brother for him.
you look down at the tall kazekage in your arms, which he is now mumbling incoherent words into the crook of your neck, his arms are wrapped around you somewhere.
you smile to yourself at how cute heโs being. you feel a little selfish for finding his most vulnerable state the cutest thing ever.
โโโโโ
you are now preparing pills for gaaraโs hangover, and a wash cloth to avoid a fever.
โY/Nโฆ where are you?..โ gaara whines for your presence.
you quickly walk over to your bed, supplies in hand, โiโm here iโm here, donโt worry.โ
you set the pills down on the bedside table, laying the wash cloth on his forehead. you hear a satisfied hum come from him.
as youโre about to walk away, gaara grabs your wrist and yanks you into bed with him.
youโre giggling your ass off as you try your best to wiggle out of his arms, but heโs too strong!
heโs holding you in his arms without even trying: his eyes are closed, his arms are tight around you with his mouth slightly open.
you do eventually give up, letting your body relax with his.
his nose comes down to nuzzle itself in your hair, giving a light peck then whispering, โyouโre so pretty Y/Nโฆ so so so so beautifulโฆโ
you giggle again at how honest heโs being with you.
โoh yeah? what makes you say that?โ
โbecuzโฆ prettyโฆโ he mumbles, kissing your hair again.
you smile to yourself once again, wishing you had gone to the gathering with him to see what else he had said about you. but, you donโt mind taking care of him like this.
a/n: this was kinda rushed lol, sorry if itโs bad
wc: 579
when tsukishima kei hears a ding from his phone, he smirks to himself when he sees the words:
can you come over? my tumi hurt ๐ข
he shoves his phone into his pocket, collecting his keys on his way out of his house.
his brother pops his head out from the corner, โhey, where are you going at this time of day? are you going to go see your girlfriend?โ he wiggles his eyebrows with a teasing smile.
tsukishima rolls his eyes, โyes, i am. whatโs it to you?โ
โoh nothing, just wondering. have fun!โ he walks away with a proud smile on his face.
โโโโโ
youโre hunched over the nearby counter with your head in your arms, groaning and whimpering in pain due to your cramps.
โy/n? where are you?โ tsuki calls out for you at your front entrance.
โbathroomโฆโ you call back.
tsuki opens the door, seeing you in a unusual sighting. he frowns a bit, knowing that youโre in pain.
โi got you some pads and chocolate. ill wait for you on your bed,โ he hears your hummed response, leaving the plastic bag on the floor near you.
he leaves you alone in the bathroom, closing the door behind him, then making himself at home on your bed.
a few minutes pass by, you slug your way out of the bathroom, then worm your way into your boyfriends arms. of course, he loves you so much so he lets you continue with your silly little actions.
you wrap your tiny arms around his waist as he wraps his large ones around the back of your neck.
you shove your face into your boyfriends chest, mumbling incoherent words.
โwhat? i canโt hear you.โ
you bring your face out of his chest, gasping for air.
โperiods suck,โ you complain. โwhy must eve eat the fruit? so stupid..โ you dig your face into the crook of your boyfriends neck.
you hear his chuckle, fixing a loose strand of hair behind your ear, then feeling a light kiss to your temple.
โsuch a complainer,โ he teases.
โoh, piss off! youโd be just as cranky, if not more, if you were in the same state as me!โ you tell him, putting the salty bean pole in his place.
โalright alright, i heard you the first time,โ he kisses your grumpy pout away in return for your forgiveness.
โdamn right you better kiss me.โ
โyeah yeah, whatever you want.โ
โwhatever i want??โ
โโฆyes.โ
โi want to hear an โi love youโ from you.โ
โno way, go to sleep,โ he does his best to hide his growing smile from you, shoving your face away from his.
โpleaseeee! i havenโt heard one in so long!โ you pout at him. โiโll give you a big fat kiss!โ
โmm.. maybe. go to sleep now,โ he doesnโt want to give into you, but when you pout at him with your cute face like thatโฆ ugh, he canโt help it.
โyouโre no fun, kei,โ you throw the blanket over your head, turning into a worm blanket. you turn your back to him, now facing the wall. you pout and grumble to yourself (secretly), drifting off to sleep.
tsuki waits until he knows for sure that youโre asleep. he wraps his long arms around your waist, tugging you close to him. he digs his nose into your hair, inhaling your calm scent.
he presses a soft kiss to your hair, then softly whispers, โi love you, so much.. idiot.โ
tags/cw: fluff, confessing, fem reader, william being a huge cutie sweetheart :(, no spoilers (unless if you haven't gotten past the first two episodes), super fluff, explicit language, modern!AU, secret established relationship (not really said) after confessing, best friends to lovers, tiny winy panic attack, comfort
a/n: i just finished watching black clover and now i have to read 171 chapters worth of the manga T^T BUT it is worth it! i wrote this to comfort me because i got huge spoilers while writing this :(
future me: this took longer than expected, but please enjoy this oneshot!
wc: ~2k (i'm lying it's really 1.6k)
"I hate this so much," Nozel mutters underneath his breath.
"But why? This is so much fun!" Dorothy exclaims in excitement.
Fuegoleon sighs, "Y/N, why don't you spin the bottle next? It's your turn," He holds the bottle out for you to take.
"Right..." you nod, taking the bottle out of his hand then placing it in the middle of the circle of everyone. For some reason, you feel so nervous. You spin the bottle with a simple flick with your wrist.
Everyone watches the bottle spinning with speed, then it's speed starts to reduce.
Then, it stops.
"Hey, on second thought, I have to go use the bathroom-"
"Fuck no you don't!" Yami drags you by the collar, sitting you back down in your spot. "These are your rules you made Y/N, so you have to follow them,"
You sigh and groan, rubbing the back of your neck out of embarrassment while looking away from who the bottle chose. You cursed to yourself for enforcing this game onto them, especially the rules you decided to add.
"Come on now, chop chop dear-y. We'll set a seven minute timer for the both of you," Jack pulls his phone out, tapping to set the alarm.
Yami winks at you, teasing you with a 'use protection, kid' face.
You rolled your eyes at him, while you disappeared away into the closest room.
-----
"We don't have to do anything you don't want to, Y/N. We can just pretend that we kissed," William says in a hushed tone.
"O-okay..." You whisper out, crossing your arms over your chest while looking off into the darkness.
Though you've had a long time crush on your best friend William, you can't help but feel bad about how awkward the tension feels between you both. You feel bad because you feel like you're wasting his time by being "trapped" in a tiny space with him, for seven minutes. You internally wished it would've been Yami and Charolette in this closet instead.
The deeper you dug yourself into your thoughts, the more your heart had ached. You knew deep down how much you love this man, but you knew that he'd always had his eyes on another. You thought that your little crush on William was stupid and ridiculous after you overheard his conversation with Yami a few weeks ago, talking about getting danced on by girls at a club they were both at. After that night, you decided to distance yourself away from William, to get over your feelings for him. But, he made the process harder by constantly contacting you over messages along with continuous calls every day, asking what he did wrong. You felt bad about ignoring him, but it was for the best. William did eventually stop, allowing you to reflect on yourself.
Your heart clenched anytime William's name was mentioned. So, you did your very best to avoid him at any chance you had: avoiding hangouts he was at, avoiding the paths he took to walk home, and his social media posts.
Until, Dorothy sent out an invitation about her small birthday party she decided to have, which you were now at.
You bring your legs closer to your chest, turning yourself into a little vulnerable ball in front of William. You sigh softly, shoving your face in your legs.
"I'm sorry if it sounds like I am intruding on your business, but is there something on your mind?" William asks, he watches your slightly visible silhouette, peaking your head out of your knees.
You shake your head, "No, I'm fine."
"Y/N, please don't lie to me. I know you may not want me talking to you right now, but it's not good keeping things in."
"William, I said I'm fine."
"Please don't slap me in the face for doing this," he takes your hands into his, his thumbs slowly caressing the backs of your hands. You're thankful for the darkness hiding your flushed face. "I don't care if you hate me for the rest of your life, forever even, but I promised you that I'll always be here for you no matter the circumstance. So please, tell me what's bothering you."
You feel your breath hitch for a slight second, your face starts to heat up. You feel a stab to your heart, knowing that all of your work for getting over William, had gone to waste. You worked so hard to get over him, but those feelings had come rushing back in like a crashing wave.
You can't see his face, but you know him well enough that he's giving you those cute puppy eyes he does whenever he asked you to be vulnerable with him. You sigh in defeat of him.
"I.. am just thinking is all, nothing to worry about," you attempt to pull your hands back.
"No," he lightly grips onto your hands, encasing them in his large palms. "I know there is a bigger issue that is bothering you, please be honest with me here."
Your heart tightens, avoiding your confession about your feelings for him as much as possible. Your hands grips his hands slightly tighter, without knowing. You feel your body starting to tremble, you don't know why...
"Y/N," his breath grazes over the lobe of your ear. He brings your balled up form into his warm embrace, "I'm here with you, I won't let anyone nor anything hurt you." His long fingers runs up and down your back slowly, making large ovals as his other hand is threaded through your long locks, his thumb is caressing the back of your head. His nose is snuggled nicely into your hair, inhaling your scent.
"You're here with me, okay? I won't hurt you," William cups your chubby cheeks into the palms of his hands, pushing your fresh tears away. He lets your hands hold his forearms for a sense of comfort.
William can't help but feel flustered at your current state with him, having so much trust in him that you let him hold you like this. William feels his face become hotter as he remembers the time you ignored him for, but you still allow your guard down enough to with him like this. His mind then travels to how badly he was hurt when you ignored his mere presence.
-------
William cried himself to sleep nearly every night, feeling heart broken that his best friend, the one girl he's always loved since the beginning, vanished from him. He thought over his pervious actions before, but couldn't find a flaw he had made for you to be this way to him. Nonetheless, he felt he deserved it if these actions were coming from you.
"The date isn't that big of a deal.. she turned me down anyways," Fuegoleon has a small pout on his lips, but quickly fades away.
"Speaking of girls, we should go to the club I found down the street from us. What do you say, Wil? You look like you're in need of some girls on ya," Yami takes a large gulp from his beer.
"Um... huh?" William turns his head when he hears small footsteps running away.
"What was that?" Nozel questions.
"Doesn't matter anymore. You up for it or what, Wil?" Yami asks, an eyebrow raised.
"No thank you, I don't feel comfortable with clubs anyways," William says.
"Wow, you really are whipped for Y/N. Loyal, even," Yami chuckles, taking a hit from his cigarette.
-------
"W-William?" Your whisper rings his ears, snapping him out of his trance.
"Yes?" He responds.
"Can y-you.. please?" You whisper even softer than before.
He chuckles, "Of course, anything you want."
He leans impossibly closer into you, now marking your soft plump lips as his with his kiss. His hands that are cupping your face, bring you closer to him. He kisses you even deeper, wanting more than just your lips. The kiss continues for a minute more, but feels like an hour more. But, a small whine interrupts the silence between you two. Your hands fall onto his chest gently, making him smile and chuckle at your cute attempts.
He pulls away from the kiss, "We should save that for later-"
"No, want now please," you demand, placing your hands on his hips with your pouty lip out.
His smile becomes so much wider, that his cheeks start to hurt. He delicately holds your wrists, his lips barely touch yours. He whispers in a voice so small that only you can hear, "Y/N, I know how much you're craving right now, but we have friends outside, my love."
He smiles impossibly wider when he hears your whines along with your bratty legs kicking in demand.
"I can be quiet, promise," though you can't see him, you look up at him with your signature face that always makes him fold for you.
He laughs lightly, he digs his nose into your temple while his hands wrap your small arms around his waist. A hand of his cradles the back of your head, "If you wait patiently for me, I'll do anything you want from me when we're at home. You can be loud there as much as you want, my love."
"Hmph, fine," you pout in defeat.
He wraps his arms around the back of your neck, giving your temple a semi-long kiss.
"I love you, Y/N."
"I love you more, my prince."
"I love you most, my princess."
-------
"I wonder what is taking them so long, it's already been an hour," Fuegoleon says.
Yami leans back in his seat, his arms bent over his head while his hands rest behind, "Prolly fuckin' er somethin'."
"Is that the conclusion you must always be drawn to for everything?" Nozel says, his fingers rubbing his temples.
"What? He asked!" Yami argues.
"That is the most inappropriate answer you could have ever said!" Nozel bites back.
"Here we go again," Dorothy says, shaking her head. "Boys these daysโฆ Lucky Y/N, sheโs got a gentleman of her own."
tags/cw: gn!reader x sakusa kiyoomi, no pronouns for reader, fluff, sickness, sick reader :((, sakusa takes care of you, more fluff, established relationship, did i already say fluff?
a/n: itโs literally 3AM lol, but i whipped this up quickly! sorry i havenโt been posting a lot, iโve been busy setting up my comissions carrd :)) check out my master list if youโd like me to do comissions!
wc: 688
sakusa kiyoomi is your big scary boyfriend, but a HUMONGOUS SOFTIEEEEE behind closed doors!!!
sakusa kiyoomi would always feel his heart flutter at any affection youโd give him; be it holding his hand, kissing his cheek, even smiling at him? he was on the verge of passing out then and there.
sakusa kiyoomi always tries to keep his cool around you, but you were too beautiful for him to worship.
sakusa kiyoomi being himself, heโd never tell anyone, not even you, about these things of course.
so, when sakusa kiyoomi found out you werenโt at school, he panicked HARD (internally obviously).
sakusa kiyoomi whipped out his phone, tapping away to your DMs with muscle memory.
Where are you?? :((
sakusa kiyoomi texted you, pouting through his mask like a big child.
iโm sick :( iโm sorry
as soon as you sent the text, you felt yourself jump out of your skin at the sudden rushed knocks at your front door.
you open your front door, only to find sakusa kiyoomi, bent over with a hand of his placed on the nearby wall, panting for his life.
โomi- what happened??โ you questioned him.
sakusa kiyoomi stares at you with his puppy eyes, a pout already formed onto his lips.
โwhy didnโt you tell me youโre sick?โ
โbecause.. i didnโt want to get you sick?.. plus, you donโt like germs and all-โ
โi like your germs,โ he cuts you off. โlet me take care of you.โ
sakusa kiyoomi stares at you with his puppy eyes and big childish pout, hoping that itโd work on you.
you examine his facial features for a few seconds more, wanting to make the most out of this small moment.
after a small moment of staring at him thinking what to do with him, you sigh in defeat.
sakusa kiyoomiโs ears perk like a puppy, his invisible tail wags side to side.
โfine.. but, if you get sick, i told you so!โ you scold him, pointing your finger out at him.
sakusa kiyoomi enters himself into your place, walking his path to your room.
you shake your head side to side as you stare at his back form, wondering what youโd ever do without him.
--------
โeat it!โ sakusa kiyoomi says, his childish pout forms once again.
sakusa kiyoomi tries to shove the spoon into your mouth, but you giggle away from him before he could get you.
sakusa kiyoomi tries his best not to smile, covering the urge with an even bigger pout.
โokay okay, iโll eat it,โ you try to take the spoon out of his hand, but he backs away before you could.
โno, i wanna feed you,โ he says in a childish tone.
sakusa kiyoomi pokes your plump lips with the tip of the silver spoon, then gently pouring the rest of the soup into your mouth.
sakusa kiyoomi continues to feed you the rest of the soup until the bowl is clean and spotless. he puts the bowl off to the side, letting his future self worry about it later.
sakusa kiyoomi cuddles himself into your front, digging his face deeply into your chest, hearing your muffled giggles.
โyou comfy now?โ
โmmhm,โ he hums.
sakusa kiyoomi hears your nosy chuckle, combing your fingers through his dark hair.
โhey, iโm the one sick here! shouldnโt i be getting babied?โ
โoh okay, iโll baby you, for sure,โ he lifts himself out of your chest, turning you onto your back.
sakusa kiyoomi gives you a HUUUUUGGGGEEEE kiss attack!! whatever his lips touch, he leaves a big fat smooch on. your fingers trying to push away his face? smooch. youโre trying to kick him off of you with your legs? smooch. trying to turn your face away from him? BIG fat smooch.
sakusa kiyoomi feels you tugging on his heart strings as he hears your giggle fit.
sakusa kiyoomi continues to tickle you with a big kiss attack along with his long slender fingers brushing your sides, turning you into a squirmy mess.
sakusa kiyoomi will spend the rest of his life with you, if it means having this small moment happen for the rest of forever.
gamerbf!levi ackerman x reader,
a/n: this one shot was based off a tiktok i saw and i got an idea lol, hope you enjoy! also, join my taglist! its always open for everyone :). sorry about the random tense changes, sorry about the random capitalization too lol
tags/cw: established relationship, angst, sadness, explicit language, arguments but not really, toxic relationship
wc: ~3k (really its 2k)
"Fucking shit- Erwin, what the fuck are you doing?!" gamerbf!levi ackerman shouts, he bangs his fists onto the desks. Your curled form on his bed flinches from his loudness in the room over.
Your eyes find the clock on your screen:
February 15th, 12:30 AM
A soft sigh falls from your lips, knowing that you have to coax him to come to bed. You slowly sit yourself up on his bed, letting your phone slip out of your hand. Your eyes widen when you hear a small meow. You track the source of the sound, seeing a small white fluffy blob, rubbing against your leg. You lean down to let the small white blob crawl into your hands. You bring the white blob near your face, its small paws rest on your cheeks.
"You miss him too?" you whisper in a hushed tone, the small white blob meows in answer to your question.
gamerbf!levi ackerman has always played video games long before he knew you. you've always known he would coop himself up in his apartment, never seeing the light of day. you knew you couldn't change that about him, so you learned to accept it.
though no one knows how you both became a couple, you knew he loved you just as much as you love him. at least, for the first three months. the first three months of dating felt surreal with him. it was unbelievable how gamerbf!levi ackerman could be so affectionate behind closed doors.
The wooden floor creaks and cracks with every step you take. The door squeaked open, revealing the back view of gamerbf!levi ackerman's chair, seeing small slivers of his monitor screens.
"What the- Jager! Oh my shit- huh?" gamerbf!levi ackerman quickly slips off his headphones as you slip yourself onto his lap. He deafens himself on his discord call.
He clicks his tongue at you in annoyance, "Get off." His grey, lifeless, dull eyes stare into your confused ones. You couldn't believe what he was saying to you, "I said, get off, Y/N."
You felt your heart race in your chest out of fear, nervousness. You didn't know what his intentions were if you didn't listen, so you quickly rushed off his lap. He slips his headphones on once again, undeafen-ing himself on the call.
You quietly leave the room to give him some space. You stand with your back faced towards the door, feeling your heart shatter into pieces. You could feel hot tears wanting to spill, but you did your best to suck the tears back in. You could hear him shouting through the door but you couldn't make out what he was saying. You walked back to his bedroom, the floorboards creaking and cracking once again.
You collected yourself into a small ball, wrapped up in many blankets. A small white blob meows, peaking its head out from underneath your arms. Your thumb caress the path between its ears.
"He did it agian... do you think he even wants me here?" you whisper to the small cat. The small white cat meows once again, crawling its way to your face. It reaches it destination to your face, rubbing its cheek against your soft one.
You laugh softly, "I think its you who wants me here." Your hands cup it closer to your cheek, giving it small kisses on its tiny head. You sigh as its small frame cuddles itself up into your cheek. You stroke its fur while staring into the hallway.
Are you coming to bed?
Read at 1:45AM
You weren't surprised when you checked your DMs to no response from gamerbf!levi ackerman. You tossed your phone to onto his bed as you packed your belongings, the small white blob rubs its head all of your phone. Your memory flashsback to when he stared at you; his dull grey eyes, the eyes that were filled with love and adoration for you. But now, you don't know where all that happiness had gone to. You had suspected before that he was possibly seeing someone else, but you never got a proper answer out of him when you brought it to him. When you did, he just yelled at you then left you by yourself.
As you walk yourself to his front door, your hands still on the doorknob. Your hesitant to go back into his room, to convince him to go to bed with you, to sleep in his arms like you did months ago, but you knew what the outcome would when you intended nothing but good with him. You slip out of his apartment quietly, tears silently streamed down your face as you walked down the hall.
You were caught off guard when you heard a small faint meow from behind you. You leaned down to carry the white blob into your hands, giving it small kisses as it meowed for you.
"Levi is going to get mad at me for taking you without him knowing..." You whisper to the blob. It meows once again, not caring about anything you had just said. You laugh quietly as it gives you its cute eyes that you could never deny, "Okay okay, I'll take the blow for you."
-----------
"Y/N, mom said dinner is ready," your brother says while looking at Levi up and down filled with a little disgust in his eyes. You look at his face, reading his expression:
Are you serious?
You nod your head with a sad small smile, feeling bad that you're letting him down with your boyfriend. Your brother rolls his eyes at you as he walks away, knowing that he's disappointed in you.
Youโre now way the dinner table, with Levi on your right, your brother on your left.
You look to Leviโs direction, seeing him talking with your older sister. You see her smiling and giggling, a barely noticeable smile is in his lips. Your heart breaks and cracks, but you keep it together with your soft and innocent smile, as always.
Why was it hard to love you the way youโve always asked from him? Why was it hard to give a simple little kiss, behind closed doors? You always were understanding when it came to Levi, no matter the circumstances. So long as he was comfortable, you were happy. But, why couldnโt he do the same for you? Why couldnโt he make you giggle at his small jokes like how he is with your sister now?
โโโโโ
After the dinner with your family, you and Levi had left early due to his temper running short. You had only asked him a simple question: to at least spend a few minutes off of his phone when he was around you. He didnโt take your request into a little consideration, instead becoming defensive almost immediately. You had tried to clear the air with him while at the dinner, but he brushed you off like dust on his shoulder.
Youโre now in the car, him in the drivers seat while youโre in passenger. Your hands are resting in your lap, fingers fidgeting with each other. You try your absolute best to avoid looking at him, to avoid another argument with him. Your eyes travel to the sky outside the window, admiring the beautiful bright small specks scattered across the sky. You always feel calm and collected whenever the night is here with you when you feel like you have no one. You feel at peace as you feel yourself getting lost in your thoughts-
โAre you even listening to me?โ Levi scolds, his eyes are glued to the road ahead of him.
Your attention is brought to him, not remembering he was still talking. You swore you didnโt hear him talking..
โY-yeah, I am,โ you whisper.
He clicks his tongue, โThen what the fuck did I just say?โ
You panic, โYou were talking about.. um.. i-โ
โThere you go again! Giving me that face, pretending to know whatโs happening, when you donโt ever pay attention to me!โ His fingers grip the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turn white.
You swear you hadnโt heard him talking to you at all; you may have not checked but your memory is still solid. Levi continues to scold and ramble on about how you never pay attention to him, always faking your knowledge to someone.
โโโโโ
โHey, Y/N, you havinโ fun?!โ Hange yells over the loud blaring music.
You smile at her; a smile that is genuine, no softness, no innocence. Just, a happy smile.
โYeah! This is so much fun! I canโt believe Iโve been missing out on all of this!โ You yell back.
Youโre dancing along with the music, a beer in your hands. Youโre dressed in a simple black tank top that hugs your curves, paired with some simple jeans. Your hair is tied into a high ponytail, showing off your beautiful back and shoulders to the world.
You donโt remember how many beers you drank, how much alcohol youโve taken, or how you even got here. You remembered having a large argument with Levi after coming home from a family dinner. You remembered crying into Hangeโs arms.. but you couldnโt recall anything after that.
Nothing mattered in this moment; so long as you were having fun, you didnโt care. You knew you were going to get a scolding, an earful from someone of some sort later on. But you were partying, why would anyone get mad at you for that?
Someone grabs your wrist, tugging you out of the large crowd in the middle of the club. You try your best to thrash out of their hold, but their grip was too strong. You pout as youโre forced to follow whoever is dragging you to wherever.
โWhat the fuck do you think youโre doing!โ The voice scolds in a loud whisper.
You mumble something incoherent to the rhetorical question, making the voice clicks their tongue in annoyance.
โYou think this is some funny shit, huh? You think you can just run off anywhere, without telling me? I donโt get what goes through your head; to think thatโs okay without sending me a message for hours, Y/N!โ The voice continues.
Your expression changes from happiness to pain, feeling your pounding headache growing by the second.
โOwwieโฆโ You wince, your hands rest on top of your hair to soothe your head.
The whispered scolding stops for a moment, silence had blessed your ears for what felt like hours.
Then, muscular arms had brought you into its warmth, making you wrap your small arms around the back of a neck. You nuzzle your nose into the crook of the neck, inhaling its scent; you swear you just wanted to sleep in that moment.
The muscular arms are hooked underneath your plush thighs, as rough fingers then caress the inside of your legs. You feel something nuzzle into your hair. Soft kisses trail along your neck and shoulder, paired with small mumbled โIโm sorryโs along the way.
You sigh contently, relaxing into the warmth. This was the kind of affection you wanted from Levi, but you couldnโt find it in yourself to tell him. Everyone always says communication is key, but every time you communicated something, he would always get mad and storm away. You felt helpless and alone, no one to lean onto; all you had was yourself.
But you felt so content, so relaxed in this warmth, not wanting this special moment to end. You hadnโt received physical affection for so long, that you thought rewarding yourself by letting this moment happen, wouldnโt be a too bad idea.
โโโโ
โYeah, I found her.. mmhm.. yeah.. thanks,โ Levi places his phone onto the nearby nightstand. The soave between his finger and thumb cradle his forehead, sighing to himself. He rubs his temples as he feels his throbbing pulse becoming worse.
He then looks at your drunk sleeping form, away in dreamland in his bed. He tries to fight the urge to smile, but his cheeks pull anyways.
So cute, he thinks to himself. How could someone be so adorable in such a vulnerable state?
Something he also didnโt understand, is how quiet someone could be; how could someone not speak a single word for a whole week? He couldnโt understand what went through her mind, which ticked him off the more he thought about it. He couldnโt understand what she was feeling from afar, nor anything she had wanted specifically. He grew annoyed at her responses he had overheard from her, โWhatever Levi wants,โ โIf Levi says itโs okay,โ โSo long as Levi is happy, Iโll be okay.โ
He didnโt like how everything always had to be about him; even if it was her opinion specifically, she would mention his name in some sort of form. He wanted her to stand up for herself, to be under her own name instead of hiding beneath his shadow. He understood she was shy, but he wanted to push herself out of her comfort zone a bit.
He couldnโt stay mad for long though. When we she would look at him with her doe eyes, he felt his heart race. His face felt heated, he looked away as quickly as he could to avoid any sort of teasing. Her other beautiful features that she always looked down upon, it didnโt settle with him right. He couldnโt comprehend how a pretty girl like her, would always insult herself. He couldnโt contain his anger whenever it came to these small things, he couldnโt help it. He was upset that she couldnโt see her beauty. He didnโt understand why she had to be so hard on herself.
Levi is then brought out of his deep thoughts as her hears whimpering of some sort.
His eyes trail towards your squirming figure, your hand searching for contact. His hand rests on top of yours, his thumb caresses the back of your hand. He slowly brings your hand to his lips, giving a small soft kiss. Then, he leans into your chubby cheek for another kiss. He fought the urge to bite your fat cheek.
His eyes stare at your drunk sleeping figure once again, wondering how lucky he was to even be in your presence.
The poor hurt man has always loved you, ever since you had initiated your first conversation with him. He didnโt know true love could actually be found; he thought it was some stupid tale everyone believed was true.
Until he found himself, fighting back the urge to kiss you, to pinch your cheeks, to hold your hands, to tell you he loves you.
He had thought about asking you out for a long time, making sure that you were the woman he wanted to stay with for the rest of his life. He thinks you know him like the back of your hand, able to read him like a book. He hates how he thinks you can, knowing that youโre the only one who could ever do this to him.
He admits to himself that he does pay attention to his games too much, but heโs secretly built a living out of it, along with two other side jobs. Heโs always been trying to raise enough money for your future together; the ring heโs being saving for.
He feels bad when he brushes you off like youโre nothing, wanting nothing but to greet him into your arms. If he could, heโd spend forever in your arms. But he knows he canโt, he overloads himself with work. Which leads to his cranky moods all the time.
He canโt help but nitpick at smallest of small things of you, which leads to his scoldings. He does feel really bad when he sees you pouting your lip out like his small white blob. He sighs and curses to himself as he will always give into you.
This man loves you, and wonโt ever let go of you, even if heโs forced to.
But for now, heโll fight through the hard times in order to get to the good times with you.
