I bought someone a smoothie today and when they said thank you, my thoughts processed both “you’re welcome” and “no problem”, so after they said “Thank you” I said “Your problem”.
for lunch i decided to have some subway and the lady asked what I wanted and I ended up saying I wanted a “meatlong football” or something along those lines
one time when i was like 10 i was thinking about meat loaf and i went to ask my mom about the transportation arrangement since we were going out for dinner so i asked “are we taking separate loaves?”
i am closing in on 24 and she still brings it up
when i was a freshman in highschool my friend sam was feeling down, and i wanted to ask if he was grumpy, or moping. it came out “SAM, ARE YOU GROPING?”
i still feel keen shame for this daily
I once told my father he was a "son fucker" instead of a fun sucker. My life was over.
