A Good Pun Is Its Own Reword @rpshelf - Tumblr Blog

.... ok technically THIS is the last screenshot I ever took.

Mincer rules.

People who know me, or even follow this tumblr, know that I’ve had a problem with RP for a long time. I’m admittedly introverted and kind of an awkward person to talk to... but reaching out to RP with people has always just been HARD.

Whenever I log on to RP, it’s usually idle chit chat around the Quicksand. That’s fine and all, but never anything of substance. I’ve spent the past few months trying to build a social circle and people to regularly RP with - and while I’ve mad a few cool friends along the way - I have nearly nothing to show for it. It’s WORK. I have to put in EFFORT. Hell, just look at my latest few tumblr posts. It’s a consistent problem I’ve had for a long, looong time.

After the continuous hurt of logging on to put in work to meet people, failing, and coming out lonelier for it each time, I started asking myself “why don’t I spend my time doing ANYthing else? Why don’t I just quit?” I talked about this with a few friends. And most of them gave me a few “Stick with its” over the course of months, but no real answer...

... So I quit.

I’m spending my creative energy on my career, personal projects, and eventually other avenues of RP. Thank you all for the memories and good times together, but Chokho’s off to retire in a cozy Happily Ever After.

Goodbye Eorzea. I have enjoyed parts of our time together.

My first screenshot on Chokho, and my last.

What a difference time can make...

I've always tried to keep blog-y posts off this tumblr and have it focus on RP. I feel like it's terribly unhealthy to keep this in me any longer though, and I don't know who to talk to. So thank you in advance, for giving me a voice even just for a moment.

The biggest problem in my life - and one that I've been failing to solve despite professional help - is that I have no sense of community. I do not have a social circle and I am BAD at forming one. I need one, for the sake of my own emotional and metal well being.

I need to preface the rest of this by saying I'm not entirely alone. I have 4-6 people I consider close friends and I know they will hear me out when I'm at my lowest. So this isn't about me saying "Woe is me, nobody likes me, I am forever alone."

What I AM talking about is community. Social circles. A sense of belonging. These friends are great, but they do not know each other. It has been a long, LONG time since I typed "Hey guys", "How's everyone doing", or "Does anyone want to play a game?", because there are no guys, no everyone, and no anyone.

I occasionally join FCs or LSs and try to get involved, but it always goes the same way. I keep asking if anyone wants to RP, most people will respond with "I would, but [X]" (X is interchangable and irrelevant), and so I nod along, pretend to smile, and go about my day. I try to contribute to conversations, but between the in-jokes, the pre-established relations, and the lack of a meaningful way to interact with people, I usually end up looking something like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYHWz-nQqFg

It's no secret that I am dissatisfied with the state of my RP but now I'm realizing it's not so much RP as it is my entire online social life. I've caught myself envying people through Battlefront videos, because they have two or more friends that are playing with them. Sure, group RP would be good, but... People would be nice, too. People I don't need to fight and claw to get close enough to be ignored by.

I don't really have an end to all this. I've talked to my few friends on separate occasions and come to the conclusion that the only real options are to put up with the pain and keep trying, or quit entirely and find a constructive way to spend my lonesome time. I still have enough fight in me not to throw in the towel -- but I feel the temptation. So right now I'm just gonna... keep on keepin' on, and pray?

Thank you all for hearing me out. It makes me feel a lot better voicing these worries instead of letting them eat at me in silence.

lunaexiv

Tfw you wanna rp

But you have no idea how to approach people

Know what I really hate in RP? Nothing. Jesus, I’m not gonna get THAT worked up.

I really just want a rp group I can relax and shoot the shit with. ... that isn’t in a crazy far timezone.

heeey, somebody named a band after Cho

Chokho Viqqoh

Tagged by: @culinary-criminal Tagging: @fortress-and-flame @dynamitecowboy @berrodarmstrong @aeron-volkova @keizora @shiningfeather

And anyone else that wants in!

#Chokho Viqqoh #Character summary

The 1-500 things were a lot of fun. I’m glad I got the chance to tell people I don’t talk to very often that I still like ‘em.

27 - OOC

It sucks a little how similar we are, and I think you know what I mean. I find it really hard to approach people, and I feel you do too. But you do your best to keep in touch -- even if it’s little things here or there -- and you’ve got my respect forever because of that. I don’t need to chat all the time to know you’re in my corner. I’m really glad we’re friends, and I genuinely hope we keep being so for a long time to come.

#1-500

3 - OOC / IC

It suuucks that you can’t be around more, ‘cause you’re always the best kind of company. Thank you for trying to include me so often, and recognizing how much I struggle with that. You are a real friend that I deeply treasure.

“Yer kinda my best friend, I guess...? Which is kinda weird ‘cause we don’t see each other a whole lot and I guess kinda we’re not that close, but-... You’re nice. You let me open up one or two times. I wish I knew how to be a bigger part’ve your life.”

#1-500

201 - OOC / IC

You’ve always seemed kind of neat, but really out of reach. Whenever we’ve tried to talk in the past, it seems like you’ve had a lot of stuff on the go. I’m a little envious that you’re able to be close to so many people so easily while I can’t be... But I haven’t done a ton to bridge the gap, have I? We might not be close, but I really respect how you always manage to be warm and open every time we cross paths. I’ll never close the door on you.

Also, you’re a crazy talented writer -- so you’ve got that going for you.

“Sorry, we must’ve met before my memories got scattered.”

#1-500

77 - OOC / IC

I don’t know you OOCly! I am hopeful and cautiously optimistic that will change though! I have a REALLY hard time approaching people, but I really like your writing and have my fingers crossed that I’ll get to see more of it!

“I dream of the day I will break you. You will bend, and crumple, and break, and only when you gasp for mercy, only then will I drop you to my feet in triumph. ... And after that I’m thinkin’ maybe we can go out ‘n get some wings maybe. Do you like wings? Boy I hope so. It’d be cool too, ‘cause that’s something -I- really like, and I think it’d be super cool if I could share somethin’ with you as you share stuff with me! Geez I have so many questions to ask you, and I’m so excited! I wanna learn more and you seem super nice about it! Maybe I can find some books to get an early start on it? Hang on one second, I’mma go check-...”

#1-500

123 - OOC

I don’t know you, and I think that’s kind of sad. You seem like a nice person and I’ve heard tangentially that your character is really deep and developed. I envied what I’d see from your adventures and social circles on tumblr for a long time, and thought that was the kind of thing I’d really love to be a part of. I tried. I think this is as close as we get.

#1-500

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A Good Pun Is Its Own Reword