rehatlah sejenak

karena senja esok hari tak sama.

[ruanglengang]

for now,

if i said i want to unalive my self it’s not a just a jokes anymore.

i really want to.

im about to.

but god,

i love this life.

but idk how to.

[ruanglengang]

to love and lose and still be kind.

[ruanglengang]

and suddenly,

all the love songs were about you.

[ruanglengang]

i was burning, while you came blaming me for the smell of ashes.

i made you breakfast but you only saw the mess i made.

i was bleeding, while you came cursing me for the stains on the carpet.

i was apologizing everytime, but i was dying with every “sorry” i was saying.

“why couldn’t you give me world”

says someone who witnessed my world falling apart.

[ruanglengang]

today was a good day.

i think i like u more than i planned.

im scared when u suddenly take my hand for checking our skin tone. but i hope u didn’t see it. i just dont want to show u my weaknesses, at least not that and not now.

i love hearing u yapping bout ur self, bout ur life, bout anything.

idk.

i like hearing and i like u.

idk.

i wish i dont fall in love.

but if i do,

i hope it’s you.

[ruanglengang]

some days i wish i could go back in life.

not to change anything,

but to feel few things twice.

[ruanglengang]

I’m no longer ashamed for trusting the wrong people.

my open heart was a reflection of my honest intentions, and their cruelty was a reflection of who they are.

i will keep showing up as the best version of myself, end of story.

[ruanglengang]

—and they never talk about the stars.

[ruanglengang]

the moon bravely remind us that beautiful things exist in darkness too.

[ruanglengang]

i miss when depressed just being quiet, sleep all day all night, playin game, forgot how to interact with human.

coz i fucking hate this overshared, thinking everything alright, and workaholic shit.

i need 8 months sleep.

[ruanglengang]

makna kata kita kejar

kejar semua fana

kala kita berdua

kata kita sama

kepala dua sama

sama kejar kata

[ruanglengang]

acuh kata kita

kau kembali

pada mati

yang pasti

[ruanglengang]

lupa kata

ada kata

lupa ada

kata ada

kita.

[ruanglengang]

kau hanya pembawa fana

bagi ku si gila

[ruanglengang]

fajar terakhir

wajahmu ku lihat

tampak esok bukan hal yang nyata

perkenalkan aku si lupa

bahwa manusia tak nyata

namun kasat mata

[ruanglengang]

sudah, apa kau lupa?

rehat lah sejenak, karena senja esok hari tak sama.

[ruanglengang]

“i love u unconditionally”.

but child inside u never learn how to accept unconditional love.