a burial at sea @ruesalka - Tumblr Blog

i dont want attention... or reaffirmation... i dont want to hear that im pretty but i dont want to hear that im ugly ;_; i just want to be heard.

i loathe myself.

i hate when people say im a lesbian

even jokingly

I want to try this the days I don’t go to the gym!

(via imgTumble)

i feel fat today too

and ugly

i feel fat today

i feel skinny today :3

mmm.

fuck. fuck. fuck.

452 calories today... ill have a small dinner and nothing but water and tea. tired.

you're fat because you didn't eat all day and then you had a poptart when you came home.

this is why he won't love you. and you're red and sweaty. and you blush too easily. and you're ugly. hide in your scarf and your hair.

you're stupid. stupid stupid stupid. you'll never stop taking school so seriously.

every time someone asks you jokingly if you're going to go home and cry, they have been right. every. single. time.

i wish i wasnt scared of school... i stayed home today. i need to stop fucking this up, stop fucking everything up really

i wish eating didnt make me suicidal tbh

scared of eating

coffee - 25 calories 1/2 a bagel - 135 calories 1 tbsp honey - 65 calories

so far, 225 calories. still feels like a bit too much... gonna try not to eat anything but fruit for the rest of the day.

the pho at the restaurant near my house is only 200 calories :3 if i eat only half and then pack the rest up, it lasts me 2 days.

reached my goal today, also

forgot to take meds again

fuck i am so bad at this

ok. no eating till dinner. not going over 200 cals.

a burial at sea