Yes...ha ha ha...yes! @ruinedsam - Tumblr Blog

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My sideblogs:

@babygirljulianfawcett (multifandom)

@i-love-to-squander-promise (britcom) plus I also run @davidmitchellfanblog (what it says on the tin)

#tumblr things

twinwound

one thing about s6-7 that i do appreciate is how they do just call it what it is

aliusfrater

compilation for my own sick purposes

#sam winchester

adihildilid

dean is fine with missouri and patience and pamela and (initially) leah but deeply troubled by sam having visions in like. the same way men who regularly visit strip clubs throw a fit if their daughter wears a short skirt.

#sam and dean

2sw-ask

"everything will be peaceful if you just shut up and follow" is basically what sam has been told for his entire life, yet people still try to find an ultimate oppressed role with the firstborn son who wants to maintain the existing system in this macho show lol. yes I'm hunting these "dean is eldest daughter coded" takes for sport again.

I don't know how others would define this 'eldest daughter coding,' but since parentification is mentioned a lot in this fandom, let's start with an unfair burden given to a girl to take care of other children with no recognition because society thinks nurturing is a woman's natural contribution to the world. the important part is not 'a child taking care of another child' because that can happen to a child of any gender in various circumstances. it's the 'being taken for granted without compensation because they are women' part. well, dean certainly had an unfair burden, but he also had his father's trust and inherited everything from him. with every right and duty, he became the next man of the house who literally sat behind the wheel. dean's part in this house has nothing to do with the socially expected gender role for women.

I think the problem here is that people see this matter in reverse order and turn the intersection into something completely different. it happened to dean because he was the eldest 'sibling', not in any way he was treated like a woman in society. it literally doesn't make sense at all. as soon as john decided dean was old enough to hunt, he took him to hunting and left sam alone. if john had really expected dean's role as a parent to take care of sam, he wouldn't have done that. he gave dean the job that john himself was supposed to do while he was away, which ultimately connected with the final words he left only to dean: kill sam if you couldn't save him. while john was alive but not around, dean was his deputy. after john's gone, dean is now the sheriff. he was the eldest son and treated like one the entire time. but of course not in a glorious way. this whole hierarchy is an ugly thing.

as I've said multiple times, I see coding as how the narrative treats the characters. the whole fandom and the show itself emphasizing dean's sacrifice to say he did something that wasn't naturally expected of him alone proves that his case wasn't an unsung sacrifice, unlike the actual eldest daughters in real life. it was another medal given to a son, it was a debt that sam had to pay. and that doesn't usually happen to women. sam has thanked dean for 'always being there' for him many times, even though they both know that's not true. sam acknowledges his brother's effort, but they were just two unhappy kids with no control over their lives. no one was parenting anyone, and that's what's tragic. dean tried, but sam still had to be left alone in some random motel room, thinking about the possibility of his family never coming back. he was still lonely. nobody ever told him anything :(

and dean being a mediator between sam and john was an act of keeping the house as his father had established, not a womanly duty to calm people down lmao. "In order to keep the peace, it probably looked like I took his side quite a bit.": the peace in question is keeping things as they were. it's the life where everyone obediently follows the order of the man of the house. ("You and me and Dad— I want us to be together again." vs. "This is why I left in the first place.") pleasing the head of the house and considering any objection to him as a threat to peace. ("It was Dad who said if I was gonna go I should stay gone." & "And when we were kids, how many times did we tell Dad that we were fine just to make him happy?") and surely the narrative had painted sam's independence as something that breaks the peace. the oppression dean experienced was because he was a successor to this patriarchy, and his survival method was to perpetuate this existing hierarchy. it doesn't matter it hurts him too, he needs this to protect(=control. in his patriarchal head.) sam in the future. so it was the next man of the house siding with the current man of the house. sam, on the other hand, had nothing to gain from this game, so he rightfully wanted to get out. while everything about dean screams the eldest 'son,' sam is at the bottom of this hierarchy, and that's very crucial to the story. dean's key to his freedom was setting sam free, but the show didn't want that to happen, and dean himself eventually also didn't want it to happen(especially after swan song), so they were being shackled to it forever. as always, it seems like it didn't matter what sam wanted, but unfortunately that's the show. yup family is hell!!

#spn meta #dean winchester #winchester family

2sw-ask

the way this show handled sam's relationship with sex is also very far from the typical treatment of the male protagonist's sex life in media. usually, a male character having heterosexual sex is never seen as shameful on or off screen. it's rather considered a bonus point for men just like irl, but ruby taking advantage of sam in his most vulnerable state was portrayed as his corruption and depravity. yeah that usually doesn't happen to male characters. (sera gamble called it sam's self-mutilation and she was so right, but the way this show as a whole carried that arc didn't put enough focus on that. unfortunately, their priority was making sam look like an evil force out of control.)

and the show made good use of it, clouding the judgment of both dean and the audiences in the siren episode. they basically said "look at sam! he's having sex aka being drawn into evil and tainted! he can't be trusted!!" and it fucking worked, yet people still get mad when someone says sam is woman coded lol. it's a funny episode cause they put on suspenseful music when sam was having consensual sex with another adult, and then there was dean, who was enjoying a substitute little brother figure who likes whatever he likes, never objects to him about anything, and obediently trusts him. and dean was the one who judged sam. he's fucking crazy man lmao. anyway, cathryn humphris primarily played with people's internalized misogyny towards cara('a sexually confident woman with a dead ex-husband who only came to town two months ago must be evil, therefore she is the monster'), but the tone sera gamble set for sam worked very well in the episode. do you know how it would be if sam was a traditional male protagonist? spn self-produced the answer with that hideous episode the slice girls. the difference is that dean's judgment wasn't held accountable for it because a man should fuck an attractive woman. and they made her an actual monster. placing the man in the innocent position is the classic let's-hunt-down-the-witch narrative.

I feel like people are so distracted by superficial things like how wild and hot sam looked having sex that they miss out on important things. dean keeps hitting on every woman they encounter and encouraging sam to do the same is one of many examples of how the show thinks of masculinity. dean performs that well because he embodies those values, but sam doesn't. and as soon as sam has a relationship with someone who wasn't approved by dean, not only dean but also the narrative itself finds a way to shame him. just sam doing something without dean in general has been painted as a treacherous deed on countless occasions. even sam making a phone call before his brother wakes up is shown as super shady behavior because that is dean's pov. do you really think that's an average treatment of every other male character in the show like this? lol be serious.

when I talk about coding it's mainly for fun and not that serious, but like it or not, you gotta see how different sam is from the classic male protagonist portrayal for the show this conservative. as I said before, it's not about what he prefers or how he acts cause that would only get you into the deeper misogynistic pit of this heteronormative show. it's always about how the narrative and other characters treat him. so yeah, I'm not saying the writers actually wrote sam as a woman but the show certainly needed a role traditionally given to a female character, so that they could vomit their toxic masculinity on someone. the actual female characters would be fridged, so they needed an alternative. and well, who else could it be when the show has two brothers? dean is already the firstborn son, he had to be the next patriarch of the house and the guardian of their family values. so it always had to be sam. isn't it almost poetic lol. truly doomed by the narrative in every aspect. and it's eventually how the patriarchal system works. not even men are safe in it because the scapegoats who hold up the floor will be needed forever. this show is a patriarchal nuclear family horror.

#sam winchester #spn meta

hillhouseeleanor

She saw me when I was scouting out the bunker. She saw me and she screamed, and then...so I crushed her skull with my bare hands. And it was warm and wet and I liked it.

June 25th: Ethel Cain for @holyfreaks mini event

#sam and lucifer and jack #spnedit #😈

sunflowerchester

Sam: Which by the way, how does she know what we do?

[no response from Dean]

Sam: You told her. You told her the secret of our big family rule number one; we do what we do and we shut up about it! For a year and a half, I do nothing but lie to Jessica and you go out…

lazy-duck

I’m not too sure of the timeline in this specific case, but here’s what I think. Dean is the big brother, so he gets to do most stuff first. (Sometimes) he breaks the rules, sees the consequences, and tells Sam not to break the rules to prevent the same thing from happening to him.

And that’s kind of typical big brother behaviour. I’m a big sister myself, and I see my little brother doing things I had done in the past, and I tell him not to do it because I’ve been there, done that, and know what I’m fucking talking about, and don’t want him to repeat my mistakes. Not because there’s a double standard.

waterbird13-deactivated20250720

Well, I can clarify that for you.

Sam goes to Stanford and meets Jess, who he dates for a good length of time, long enough to (supposedly) be close to proposing to her. He never tells her the family secret, probably due to fear as to how she’d react (“hey honey I used to hunt monsters and a creature of the night killed my mom. Anyways, what are our weekend plans?” doesn’t always go over so well) and, as we see here, some adherence to a family standard where you do not tell outsiders.

Dean repeatedly makes comments about how Jess didn’t know Sam, and how he was essentially lying to her, while at the same time making it clear that he couldn’t tell because she’d never believe him/want him, or she’d think he’s crazy.

DEAN Yeah, I forgot. You’re really serious about this, aren’t you? You think you’re just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl?

SAM Maybe. Why not?

DEAN Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you’ve done?

SAM steps closer.

SAM No, and she’s not ever going to know.

DEAN Well, that’s healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you’re going to have to face up to who you really are.

—Pilot

DEAN: You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?

SAM: Why not?

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

—Skin

I mean, these are both major isolation tactics, but they are the discussion of the issue at hand. Sam can’t have anyone, because he can’t tell them, because they won’t understand. If you don’t tell, you’re lying, and you’re bad. In short, telling is bad, not telling is bad, Sam shouldn’t have anyone.

In episode “Route 666,” it is revealed that, while Samw as at school (likely while he and Jess were in a relationship), Dean told a girl their entire family secret. While he was more serious about her than any other girl prior to that point, he was with her a relatively short period of time.

Here is Sam calling out that hypocrisy in Dean. Dean told this woman their secret after an incredibly short period of time, despite the clearly defined and previously well-enforced family rules against doing such a thing.

Now, I too am an older sibling. But here’s the thing. Dean is not cautioning Sam, not saying “look I shouldn’t have done it,” not making any apologies in terms of the rules he’s pushed onto Sam their entire life at this point. It’s “Yeah. Looks like.” It’s “the rules don’t apply to me, Sam, suck it up and quit whining.” I don’t know about you, but if I told my sister not to do something, she found out I did it and I didn’t explain, just kept telling her not to do it with no reasoning, she’s going to laugh in my face and do it anyways. The older sibling thing is about teaching, about explaining why it went wrong and why it’s a bad idea, not demanding and imposing standards without explanation as to why they apply.

Also…these “rules?” Are about human connection, outside support, and a way out. While I would say that the Winchesters to have to be cautious about who they do/don’t tell, considering what they do and what they’d be talking about, the fact that Dean’s judgement (and him telling Cassie is not judged/questioned outside of Sam questioning this hypocrisy, and Dean does not view it as a mistake other than the fact that it damaged their relationship) is good but Sam’s is inevitably going to be wrong so he’s just not allowed to make the judgement calls altogether is incredibly telling about this relationship. Sam shouldn’t find outside support, both because of the family notion that he’s not skilled enough to make those decisions, and the family decision that, simply put, Sam shouldn’t have that support.

Older siblings do try to steer younger siblings away from mistakes. But Dean doesn’t consider this one, and he’s not really trying to “steer” Sam anyways. It’s simply a case of “my judgement is better than yours, shut up and fall in line,” which, like sweetsamofmine said, is incredibly indicative of Sam and Dean’s relationship.

#sam and dean

seasononesam

as long as you’re mine

#samruby #spnedit

litanyofdecay

saint rosalia, roberto ferri || sam winchester

#comparatives #sam winchester #dead sam

spntrunk

i would see sam as king of the hell

sorry for the extreme lateness dear anon <3 bit of a sketch today, too...hope you like it anyway.

My art tag ⛧ Ask me a question/say hi/make a request ⛧ ko-fi

#sam winchester #fanart #boyking!sam

genderqueersammy

Rip Azazel… I missed having a villain who was just constantly saying ‘Sam is my bestest, most favourite boy, the littlest meow meow ever, the centre of the world’. I think all SPN villains should follow his example

#azazel #samgirlism