" hand me my shovel, i'm going in! "

indie fandomless oc. trigger heavy. minors dni. mun & muse 25+. selective & private.

[rxdkillchef]

@rxdkillchef: a private, selective, & fandomless oc. imagined by bagel (she/her). both mun and muse 25+. trigger heavy. minors dni. active & medium activity. triggers include but are not limited to: physical and sexual violence, domestic abuse, child abuse, gender dysphoria, transphobia, and self harm.

bio. | history. | rules. | mun. | verses. ( under co! ) | graphics credit. |

[rxdkillchef]

fabian's got an old people house. it looks like it belongs to a retired couple in their 80s

[astral-athame]

It was their first big tour, the first they were headlining. Usually they opened for others or did smaller shows, smaller venues. But just for now, for these few months traveling across the country, it was about them. And it was exhilarating.

The meet and greets ha been an excuse to meet fans, to sign autographs, take photos, chat for a couple minutes. Cassia knew it wasn't possible to get to knew them each fully or anything, but it was nice to see their faces, to shake their hands or give them hugs. Of course there were the few that took things a little too far (even in a smaller known band like theirs there was always the issue of parasocial relationships and people who just didn't understand boundaries), but most of the fans that took the time to meet them were cool.

They worked through the line fairly slowly, fans coming up for their minute or so of conversation. Some took the time to get group photos, others just wanted a few seconds one on one with their favorite member (that mostly fell to Eric and James, though- Eric being the leader and James being, well, the hot one). When Fabian arrived to the front, it was Nick who had his hands full with a fan, the girl clearly absolutely fawning over him. Unfortunately for her Nick was the least likely to engage with a fan in the way she so clearly wanted. She should have chosen James if she was looking for a one night stand. But with Nick just a few feet away totally occupied with the heart-eyes fan, Cass (standing at the end of the line up) had an extra minute to spare on the man in front of her.

The first thing she noticed wasn't his height or his build or even those puppy dog eyes of his- the first thing she noticed was the dread, the anxiety?, coming off of him. She couldn't help it. She wasn't as in tune with the emotions of others as some witches (thankfully) but when the feelings were intense she couldn't help but notice them. Something was bothering him. Maybe he was just nervous in crowds? She wasn't sure. But whatever the case, she wanted to make this as comfortable for him as possible. Especially when she saw that awkward little smile of his. (Was it weird that she found it totally endearing?)

"Hi!" She chimed brightly, smile wide, genuine. Even in her boots, which gave her an extra 3 inches of height, he was still a fair bit taller than her. Broader. And yet he didn't at all come across as intimidating. He held the CD out for her to sign and she gladly took it, a small, accidental, brush of fingers as she did so. "Yeah, of course!" No need to pop the top off of her purple sharpie, the cap was still stuck to the opposite end of the marker. "What's you're name?" She asked. Sometimes the guys just did a quick signature, nothing personal, trying to get through the line a little faster now that they were popular enough to have more than a small handful of people asking them to sign stuff. But Cass tried to take the time to write out their names, leave a quick little note. On the rare occasion she'd switch from her usual star at the end of her signature to dropping a little smiley face or a heart, instead.

[rxdkillchef]

Fabian almost heaved a sigh of relief - he was ever-aware of how many eyes accosted him daily, seeing his size, his width, the dark colors he wore, and averted in fear. He'd not laid a finger on another soul in years on years, but still his natural frame and figure set him apart. That wasn't even to mention the invisible stamp of 'violent felon' that he was doomed to carry for the rest of his life.

But here, with Cassia, he remained unseen in the best way. Though he towered over her, and though he bore an unimaginable jungle of scars beneath his thick sleeves, and though he felt suffocated in this crowd, Cassia simply smiled at him. Authentic, joyful, kind. Normally he would recoil from the touch of another, but so astounded was he that he barely registered their hands glancing against each other. His smile, already unsure of itself, faltered - but then warmed.

"Honeycutt. Uh, Fabian, I mean." Old habit. A pause. "I don't usually listen to stuff like yours. More of a country guy, myself. But I listen to it whenever I'm drivin'." Whether it was on his way to work or to a burger place to eat his feelings away at 2 AM.

He shifted on his feet and stuffed his hands into his pockets, as though unsure of what to do with his own body. There were too many strangers in here and his heart was starting to pound. "Anyway, uh - don't mean to take up too much of your time. Know you got a line here. But I like your stuff, is what I mean."

[rxdkillchef]

fabian's first few months on parole were rough, and his grandparents are the only reason he made it through.

he paroled to their ranch after five years of actual hell. sexual assault, solitary confinement, and losing the love of his life. he was actively self harming when he arrived, but his grandparents were ready to provide a stable support system - the first in fabian's entire life.

the first few nights he spent sleeping in the closet, unable to bear the open space of his new room. his fresh clothes felt strange on his skin. and the sudden freedom was nauseating. no one telling him when to shower, to eat, to sleep - how could he bear it? his self harm actually spiked after he was released, because he felt overwhelmed and without any control over his environment.

rebecca and edward, his grandparents, were prepared. they eased him back into freedom slowly, letting him go at his own pace. his self harm was met with gentle concern, not outrage. the explosions and shouts were carefully and softly defused. they did not chide him when he consumed entire meals in less than two minutes. edward set fabian back on a rhythm, tasking him with ranch chores - feeding the animals and cleaning pens, namely. and fabian slowly began to emerge from his shell.

fabian stayed with his grandparents for about three months before he moved into the city and into his own apartment, but they made sure to regularly visit. he did the same for them.

now, 6 years later in 2025, fabian is endlessly grateful for his grandparents and still drives to visit them every chance he gets. he is greeted with warm bread and lots of cheek kisses by his grandmother, and gentle pats on the back from his grandfather.

and for a little while, he can forget the world and be happy.

[rxdkillchef]

@astral-athame

Fabian weaved through the crowd, bristling any time someone brushed against his back or sides. Normally, he'd be rotting at home, nursing an ice cold beer while watching some shitty reality television. But tonight, he'd braved the world to attend a live show of a band he'd become fond of - Phantom Overdose. It wasn't his usual taste of music, but the CD he'd been gifted had become well worn on his drives to and from work. He could lose himself in it, and that was a gift in itself.

When he learned they'd be coming to a place near his own, of course, he indulged himself - not only tickets to the concert itself, but also a meet and greet.

He hadn't brought much - just his CD in its case. He felt almost alive tonight, the music pumping in his veins - not quite, but almost there, and that was good enough for him. The line moved slowly, and he could feel the instinctive dread slowly filling his cup, but eventually he found himself at the front. He looked at the guitarist, and gave an awkward smile.

"Would ya be so kind as to sign this, ma'am?"

[rxdkillchef]

but imagine this. fabian raising his baby on a small homestead :)

[rxdkillchef]

the temptation to have fabian be a rancher lmao

[livingdeadsilence]

rxdkillchef

Another mindless night. Fabian could drink it away, as he did far too often - thinking of what could have been, what should have been, what would have been. He drifted on autopilot through these nights, uncaring of what or who he bumped into. There was no point to it all, so why should he? Tonight, he was in another shitty watering hole. There seemed to be no shortage of them. He was hunched over the bar, three bitter beers in and totally unfazed. His back was turned to the pool table, where some strangers were busy wasting their time with the game, and he picked at the skin of neon orange nachos. The sounds all blended together - some drunken idiot telling a story to the disinterested bartender, a patron exhaling with disappointment at the football game playing, the squeak of door hinges. He was so lost in the haze that he almost didn't notice someone sit beside him. Almost. He glanced over with red eyes, watching the man beside him take a soda. A soda? Seriously? The stranger looked out of place so marvelously, so thin and small compared to the boulder that was Fabian. Fabian cocked a brow, and spoke through the suspiciously good nachos, "You come all this way to get a soda?"

Lou squinted up at the television, briefly too locked in to the conversation behind him (little more than odious "locker room talk" at that moment) to process the words of his neighbor. But then, a beat later, it clicked: He's talking to me?

He looked over at the man, blinking in surprise that he'd been noticed at all. For about two seconds his thoughts floundered; he couldn't answer with complete honesty without sounding like a creep or a cop. The man looked worn out, to put it lightly, but Lou didn't want to take any chances with someone about twice his size in a place like this. Appearances could be deceiving.

And then it occurred to him that he owed this stranger nothing in exchange for such a question. So, Lou lifted his hands and signed with a straight face, confident that this man was unlikely to understand: "I'm waiting for someone, and I don't drink." A half-truth and a full truth, without revealing anything of import.

[rxdkillchef]

Fabian's brows clouded, then raised in what seemed to be understanding. The stranger was signing to him. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fabian was no good at signing, but there was a compulsion to answer. All those drunken nights watching YouTube videos on common signs was in preparation for this.

Straightening and hesitating, Fabian raised his own hands - his fingers were thick, tattooed, calloused. And then...he signed back. Slowly, clumsily, his hands moved to weave the language.

"I...weird place if you...don't...drink." His skin heated. Was he doing this right? "Sorry...did not mean...to be rude. Waiting for...a friend?"

His fourth beer slid over to him, slightly warm and with a spittle of froth. He took it and peered over the rim at Lou as he gulped it down, expectant.

[rxdkillchef]

may have added this to fabian's bio....hehe.....

[rxdkillchef]

Tempted to get into discord rp too…

[livingdeadsilence]

You Don't Belong

Closed starter for @rxdkillchef

Getting into the seedy bar was simple. Lou had been a bit worried that his fake ID wouldn't pass the smell test by the bouncer, but the guy had barely glanced at it, as if asking for it in the first place had merely been a formality. Maybe they really don't care who gets in here, Lou wonders as he steps inside, nose wrinkling slightly at the smell of spilled beer and sweat. Or they're so used to fake IDs that their veracity doesn't matter. I'm a new face. That might be enough identification on its own.

Lou neutralizes his expression and walks with his head on a swivel, subtly scoping out the place. He doesn't want to pretend that he belongs here, because it won't be believable--but he can at least not look like a fish out of water. The noise level here is, surprisingly, bearable, but his eardrums throb in protest nonetheless. Lou catches snippets of meaningless conversation as he weaves slowly through the bar: parties, sex, drama. Nothing of note just yet.

It's there, at the far end of the establishment, that he sees the person he's been looking for: "Big Dave," a regular with a mouth as big as his muscles. He might not be "employed" much longer if this keeps up; traffickers have low tolerance for drunken rats. Dave is playing billiards and yukking it up with some friends. Perfect, Lou thinks, sitting down at the end of the bar so he can eavesdrop. He orders a soda by passing a note to the bartender and feigns interest in the football game playing on the TV; his full attention is on the game of billiards just over his shoulder.

[rxdkillchef]

Another mindless night. Fabian could drink it away, as he did far too often - thinking of what could have been, what should have been, what would have been. He drifted on autopilot through these nights, uncaring of what or who he bumped into. There was no point to it all, so why should he?

Tonight, he was in another shitty watering hole. There seemed to be no shortage of them. He was hunched over the bar, three bitter beers in and totally unfazed. His back was turned to the pool table, where some strangers were busy wasting their time with the game, and he picked at the skin of neon orange nachos. The sounds all blended together - some drunken idiot telling a story to the disinterested bartender, a patron exhaling with disappointment at the football game playing, the squeak of door hinges.

He was so lost in the haze that he almost didn't notice someone sit beside him. Almost.

He glanced over with red eyes, watching the man beside him take a soda. A soda? Seriously? The stranger looked out of place so marvelously, so thin and small compared to the boulder that was Fabian. Fabian cocked a brow, and spoke through the suspiciously good nachos, "You come all this way to get a soda?"

[rxdkillchef]

yall will never guess what fabian is gonna name his kid. it starts with n and ends with oah.

[rxdkillchef]

@brokerofsecrets: cont.

"Uh...no. I, uh, I'm good."

Fabian stared at Teague, at the tongue swiping along teeth in the darkness, and the pounding of his heart throbbed in every vein. It was rare for him to be so startled he was snapped out of his self-destructive haze, but here he was.

"I, uh, was just on a walk, man."

[rxdkillchef]

mun.

hi there! i’m bagel. im 25+, latine, and i use she/her pronouns. it’s so nice to meet you.

here's a little about me.

i live in the us and work full time.

i love cats & have 2 of my own.

i love gaming, reading, & animals. 

my favorite genres of music are italo-disco, synthpop, & gothic country.

i am a #1 sharon tate fangirl.

i have 15+ years of roleplaying experience. i started off on various forums and deviantart before migrating over here in 2012 and i’ve stuck here since. i took a hiatus for several years but i feel good about coming back now. i consider myself an “ old timer “ and am still adjusting to the new trends and lingo after my long hiatus!

i am passionate about corrections and criminal justice, and try to do as much research as i can to make my funny little muse realistic. if you see any inaccuracies, though, please point them out to me! i’ve never been to prison or even jail myself so all of this is just what i’ve researched from books, college classes, and documentaries.

i have bipolar disorder, OCD, and C-PTSD and also a full time job so my activity here may be a little sporadic. feel free to shoot me a DM if you ever want to chat! mutuals can ask for my silly discord.

[rxdkillchef]

rules.

warnings. this blog is trigger heavy and will frequently contain the following:

mentions of suicide and suicide attempts.mentions and explicit displays of self harm.mentions of emotional and physical abuse.mentions of sexual assault.depictions of mental illness.depictions of gender dysphoria.constant cursing.

if you are triggered by these topics or are not comfortable with them, please do not follow. because of the explicit nature of this blog, minors should not follow or interact.

should you need something tagged, please tell me! all triggering content will be tagged with “tw” or “cw”. “tw” is usually reserved for explicit displays of stuff and “cw” for mentions of it.

rule 1. this blog is selective. i’ll rp with mostly everyone, canon and OCs, under a few conditions:

you must have a bio for your muse(s)! i’d like to learn about them prior to interacting so we can plot and possibly form pre-established relationships. plus i just enjoy learning about other peoples’ characters :]

i don’t rp with depictions of real people (such as someone rping as an actor instead of the character the actor plays).

both real life and animated and/or drawn faceclaims are perfectly fine!

if we are mutuals or i follow first, i’m interested! if i don’t, please don’t be offended. i just think our muses wouldn’t mesh. i like to keep my dash clean.

if i follow you and you don’t follow back within a week, i’ll assume you’re not interested and unfollow.

rule 2. i don’t mind darker threads, in fact i adore them! you have my permission to be mean to fabian, manipulate him, beat him up, etc. however, i will not rp rape/pedophilia/etc. also, please don’t godmod!

if you’re interested in a thread, we can plot or we can wing it. it’s up to you and your preferences – i can go either way. feel free to send icebreaker memes to approach that initial interaction between our muses!

rule 3. i don’t practice reblog karma. i will reblog memes from their source but you are free to reblog memes from me without sending anything.

rule 4. take your time with replies! i understand that muse for certain threads can and does leave from time to time and life gets in the way. don’t stress if you’re taking a while to reply. on that note, if you need or want to drop a thread for whatever reason, go for it and don’t stress. you don’t have to justify this to me - we’re all here to have fun.

don’t worry about matching length. i do tend to ramble so my replies get a little long, but again you don’t have to match my length. just give me something to work with and we’re good to go. feel free to remind me if i haven’t replied in a few days. i do ask that you keep in mind i have a full time job and mental illnesses and my activity may become sporadic. please be patient with me.

rule 5. please do not involve me in drama. i’m not going to reblog callout posts or docs. i saw enough of this in the mid 2010s rp scene and i’m not looking to relive days of drama and bullying especially now that i’m almost 30. we’re all here to have fun, k? rule 6. smut won’t be present on this blog. sorry!

if it reaches that point, we can do a fade to black. be aware that fabian has a lot of sexual trauma, and won’t be receptive to advances from someone he doesn’t completely trust.

rule 7. on that note, i’m totally down to ship! however, fabian is very guarded and it’s going to be hard to get him to open up to the idea of a romantic relationship. prepare for a challenge!

[rxdkillchef]

history.

tw for mentions of child abuse, violence, and sexual assault

born in an already overcrowded trailer in dime box, texas, fabian only knew a life of torment & abuse at the hands of his father & most of his many brothers. beatings were everyday and commonplace, and young fabian often ended his nights with red teeth and a crooked nose. his mother could do little to stop the violence, but also refused to leave her husband for fabian's protection. fabian grew up in chaos - the nurturing of his mother was muted by the rage and cruelty of his father and siblings.

the cycle of constant violence culminated in a bloody 2013 night when fabian and his father entered another heated argument in the dead of night. fabian finally snapped &, armed with a bat, beat his father until bones turned to jelly and blood dotted the walls. by the time the police arrived and forcibly arrested the 17-year old fabian, his father was left with lifelong injuries.

this, combined with fabian's disrespectful behavior in court, earned him a hefty conviction. fabian found himself on the receiving end of a 5 to 10 year prison sentence for felony aggravated assault, which he began in 2014 at age 18. 

fabian came out of prison worse than when he arrived. at the beginning of his sentence, when he was most vulnerable & alone, he was repeatedly raped by his first cellmate without intervention from the clueless COs. the trauma turned fabian violent, angry, & destructive. he turned to self harm, constantly cutting or burning himself. he lashed out at COs and other inmates. frequent stays in solitary, allegedly for his own safety, only worsened his condition. 

through the pain, fabian found the love of his life in noah ramirez (nicknamed “songbird”), his new cellmate, in 2017. the two shared a secret but ferociously tender love, the memories of which fabian will always cherish. when noah was stabbed to death during an altercation in 2018, fabian broke and attempted suicide over & over. he has never truly moved past the loss, even nearly a decade later. fabian considers noah his soulmate & mourns the life they never got to share together. fabian carries a photo of noah in his wallet, his only memento of the man he loved with all of his being.

fabian was practically a walking corpse when he was released in 2019 & ordered to serve the remaining five years of his sentence on parole. he retreated to his maternal grandparents' ranch in central texas, where he slowly but surely rediscovered his will to live.

he picked up gardening & later baking, crochet, and knitting, but also a drinking & smoking problem to cope with his ghosts. he began work as a construction worker in the city, got his own apartment, & adopted 3 cats. he cleans obsessively, clinging onto old prison rituals like his life depends on it.

finding himself finally off parole as of january 2025, fabian still doesn’t know what to do with himself, but is trying his best to navigate through what life throws at him as best he can.

[rxdkillchef]

bio.

fabian honeycutt is an ex-con living in texas with his 3 cats, passion for baking, & many houseplants. having recently completed parole after a 5 year stint in a medium security prison, fabian is unused to total freedom but welcomes it. fabian spends his days working mindlessly, drinking away the pain, or simply trying to exist without crumbling into pieces. you can find him baking treats for his cats, eating fast food in the parking lot at 2 AM, or sleeping around without any regard for his own safety. plagued by trauma & grief, fabian finds life hard to swallow sometimes. fabian worries a lot. that he’ll be judged for his conviction or his scars, that he’ll never be whole again, that he’ll be wounded even deeper than before. it’s hard for him to let people in. for the most part, he’s reserved & quiet, loath to engage in confrontation. wary of others, he keeps mostly to himself. once his aloof exterior has been warmed, though, he is the epitome of a gentle giant. he just wants to live his life peacefully, without any more trouble.

general.

name: fabian arbasure honeycutt nicknames: “ meadow “ ( in prison ), “ the crazy cat guy “ by his neighbors age: 29 birthday: 1.28.1996 gender:  confused about it. presents as masc and goes by he/him for now. orientation:  bisexual. closeted to his family. relationship status: single but endlessly grieving ethnicity: appalachian heritage nationality: american birthplace: dime box, tx

physical.

height: 6’1” weight: 206 lbs body type: stocky & muscular hair: dark brown / shoulder length / straight / light stubble eyes:  green piercings:  none tattoos: black & white floral sleeves covered in self harm scars wardrobe: dark colors, oversized jackets, jeans, sweaters, turtlenecks, & boots faceclaim:  frank iero (loosely)

mental.

positive traits:  practical, compassionate neutral traits:  anti-authority, blunt negative traits: withdrawn, stubborn zodiac: aquarius myers-briggs:  infj-t alignment:  neutral good illnesses:  undiagnosed and untreated c-ptsd & depression; history of cutting, burning, & suicide attempts; suffers bouts of hypersexuality resulting in promiscuity with others ambitions:  own a homestead or bakery when he is more stable habits: enjoys routines, eats roadkill, hides his arms & legs because of his many scars, cleans obsessively hobbies: gardening, fitness, baking, crochet, knitting likes: animals, nature, flowers dislikes:  large spaces, big crowds, domineering people fears:  being powerless or vulnerable

misc.

education:  GED, obtained while incarcerated occupation:  construction worker vehicle:  ‘13 chevy silverado residence:  a small home in the city. uses the spare bedroom as storage. addictions:  self harm. currently clean but sometimes suffers lapses. cigarettes & frequent drinking allergies:  pollen & dust mites favorite food:  cooked possum & sweet potatoes favorite drink:  an ice cold beer theme song:  “ trailer trash “ voiceclaim: clay rose languages: english, slowly learning spanish. can hold a rudimentary conversation in asl. religion:  non-practicing christian music taste:  rock, cowpunk, & country voice:  low, quiet, & deep accent:  thick east texan favorite movie:  the rider favorite flower:  texas lantana

connections.

father: richard honeycutt sr (b. 1959) mother: josephine honeycutt (b. 1963) brother: richard honeycutt jr (b. 1982) brother: travis honeycutt (b. 1982, d. 2019) brother:  joseph honeycutt (b. 1985) brother:  easton honeycutt (b. 1986) brother:  memphis honeycutt (b. 1990, d. 2023) son: unborn baby boy (due may 2026; fabian is totally unaware of his fling's pregnancy) nieces & nephews: too many to count maternal grandmother:  rebecca kelly (b. 1940) maternal grandfather:  edward kelly (b. 1942) partner:  noah ramirez (b. 1994, d. 2018) pet cat:  freebird (b. 2018) pet cat:  haseltine (b. 2020) pet cat:  pieboy (b. 2022)