Made Out Of Ferns

SaintClaire, on A03.

[kaity--did]

truly dads with new born babies v dads with children are two completely different people this man used to strap this child to his chest with a double chest wrap because he was terrified of giving her shaken baby syndrome and now he just kinda hucks her , I'll be sitting on the bed and all of a sudden my child just comes soaring towards me

[kaity--did]

Husband when child was newborn: you are my beautiful soft amazing little creature and I will be so gentle and lightly clean you softly and sing you sweet songs

Husband now that child is 4 years old: carries feral child upside down into the bathroom telling her she is a smelly little beast and she has to wash her butt while she sings him songs about spraying him with the shower head

[kaity--did]

Husband when child was newborn: "bath time and bed time is my special one on one time with my sweet baby angel where I tell her how special and soft and sweet she is and spend much needed time relaxing and getting her to relax and snuggling"

Husband now that child is 4 and "sturdy" (his words not mine): "bath time is my special time for hand to hand combat with my warrior princess where I teach her how to throw a punch and try to exhaust her enough that she passes out until tomorrow, and if that doesn't work I just start making deals like she's a mob boss and I am a desperate flunkie"

[kaity--did]

Husband when child was newborn: here is your hypoallergenic formula heated to the exact temperature that you need to have the thickening agent activate in a ulta double sterilized bottle my miracle NICU baby, it takes 25 -35 minutes to make but it is what we must do to keep you safe and healthy.

Husband now that child is 4: "I had to make her a breakfast snack of two eggs and toast before we go out to brunch because she was gnawing on the bars of her enclosure and I am frankly terrified of the small piranha she becomes when hangry."

[mysticorset]

Via @somanyofthekids

[no-terfs-no-swerfs-no-fascists]

We have no choice but to stan a queen 💪❤️👑

[contevent-deactivated20210417]

Killing abusive husbands when there is no recourse, on. But killing people skipping military service? I hope she was selective.

[no-terfs-no-swerfs-no-fascists]

No, no, no... she wasn't poisoning thrm, she was giving them a "potion" that would make them appear very ill for a while so that they would be eligible for skipping military service.

[contevent-deactivated20210417]

Ho! Much better indeed!

[vareidow]

potion of dodge the draft

[butch-of-the-blades]

Baba Anjuka my beloved❤️

[durnesque-esque]

#draught dodge <- incredible tag via @malachitebear

[emziess]

Chris Miller added: “She has a little tattoo that has a V with a line through it — meaning ‘V’ as in ‘life’ and then the line meaning ‘without parole’. Andy thought that she had gone to prison without parole but then had broken out of prison from her connections and then was sort of on the lam, still trying to save the world.”

Eva Stratt + Her tattoo Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord, Chris Miller

[saint--claire]

So this had me in a choke hold, and I needed to express more thoughts.

Something about the position of the tattoo - it's a little hard to tell because of her hair and the way they've used makeup to show her age, but her tattoo appears to be positioned directly over her carotid artery.

Sad note, cw suicide -

Life without parole. - We know many inmates take their own lives. While I don't have exact stats, severing the carotid has significantly higher fatality rates than severing the radial. While identifying the carotid can be done without looking at it, generally people choosing to harm themselves in such a manner do it where they can see either the act or the result.

Eva's tattoo positioned directly over -that- particularly artery is symbolically horrifying and tear-jerking on multiple levels.

We don't know when exactly she was arrested, or why, or even under what charges. Kidnapping Grace, drugging him, and hurling him unconscious onto an unrecoverable suicide mission; sure, those are all reasons to get a life sentence. We also know the world's governments would have loved a convenient scapegoat to show stomping on their glass ceiling - pin Antarctica on her, pin every hard and horrible decision that had to be made onto someone who's already going down for one. Brutal, but efficient. She'd have understood, possibly even approved.

NOW - Breaking out of prison - badass move all on its own. Breaking out of prison to continue saving the physical world, and as many of the humans living on it as possible - more badass! By the time you add in that’s she’s doing all this while on the lam, with contacts of unknown political and criminal status, Eva Stratt has become a fascinatingly weird combination of James Bond and Tony Stark, achieving things that physically and politically should not be possible. Getting a tattoo just to commemorate this would be completely understandable on its own, fair play to her honestly.

HOWEVER. Their is a second party at play.

Because Eva Stratt subjected Ryland Grace to a life sentence without parole, and she knows it. She knew it as she did it.

There was only the slimmest possible chance the crew would even survive the journey, get there intact after 11yrs travel in deep space, actually identify and solve the astrophage problem, and successfully communicate all that back to earth. Hail Mary indeed.

Grace was ultimately sent to die on a ship he couldn’t escape, that held a means for two the other two crew-mates to commit suicide by a method of their choosing. I’m absolutely positive Stratt would have made sure there was either a kind and/or fun means for Grace to depart life as well (shout-out to Ilyukhina who was going to go out with a bang blitzed on vodka and a heroin high) - but Grace didn’t get to choose. His final moments awake on earth, he was trying, desperately, with everything he had to choose the opposite, and escape the fate laid out before him.

Whose sentence is Eva’s tattoo representing?

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”

Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER

[hotvampireadjacent]

https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw

[littlemisspipebomb]

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

[baronfulmen]

"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.

[fuchsiareign]

the what story?

[baptizm-deactivated20200524]

GUYS READ ALL OF THIS PLEASE PLEASE PL–

[serialreblogger]

some IMPORTANT UPDATES

stay tuned for the resolution

[bunbunxian]

THIS IS WHAT I WAS TELLING EARLIER

A.FUCKI G.REAL LIFE LWJ. A fkn modern wangxian au this is crazy

[esmew9785]

[ashes-0f-phoenix]

PLEASE GO ON REDDIT AND CHECK THE UPDATES!!!!

THERE’S MOOOORE

[tlhrfanfic]

This is a hell of a ride but this is the Queer romance of arranged Marraige actually turning romance and ahhh i love it so much

GOOD FOR THEM!

[lostsometime]

this is adorable but i’m still just stuck on ‘he keeps crawling into my lap and cuddling and nuzzling me, but i can’t tell if he LIKES ME-likes me, please help’

dude

[sexhaver]

lmfao the Scots in town for the World Cup have made a pilgrimage to Boston's world-famous Cop Annihilating Slide

[assiraphales]

I feel like grace was in such a rush to turn that ship around and hightail it back to rocky that he was indiscriminate about what data he sent back. just shoved it all into the beetle probes, just to realize ‘ok so 20% of that data is scientific breakthroughs to save the world……..80% me and rocky’s movie reviews. and I def forgot to delete the fifteen minute long dance off. hm.’

[grynwood]

Your honor, I love them, they're so horrible

[emziess]

Chris Miller added: “She has a little tattoo that has a V with a line through it — meaning ‘V’ as in ‘life’ and then the line meaning ‘without parole’. Andy thought that she had gone to prison without parole but then had broken out of prison from her connections and then was sort of on the lam, still trying to save the world.”

Eva Stratt + Her tattoo Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord, Chris Miller

[ultrainfinitepit]

Time Go Fishing

[cloudabserk]

everyone has to be nice to him

[jetix]

2026-05-30

[weirdlandtv]

Cartoon by John O'Brien for NEW YORKER magazine, 1991.

[occudo]

They wear suits, but they don't even know basic etiquette.

Based on @cowardsexual 's post of a very sleepy phm science team and Grace's teacher instincts

[jennydreadful]

Sous La Glace, Georges Leonnec for La Vie Parisienne, 1926

The caption is a little fuzzy, but I think the meaning is “Has the Parisienne become economic? You see a lot less panties this year!” :D

[loth-caatgirl]

youre becoming part of this post @18-1-9

[specialagentartemis]

Grace and Rocky, giving a tour of the Hail Mary to fascinated Eridian scientists and diplomats.

Pointing at things and explaining what they are and how the ship works, lots of awed and appreciative noises are made.

Until one of the visiting Eridians points out a specific item. “And that?”

It’s a strange, circular thing, a xenonite disk mounted upright on some sort of pivot so it can spin freely, but around the edges it has… spokes? Pegs? Sticking out of it, that hit against a stiff flap that would slow down the spinning.

It is also separated into sections decorated with crude etchings of a human and an Eridian.

“Ah,” Grace says.

“That,” Rocky says.

“That’s. Um.” Grace seems somewhat embarrassed. “That’s the sacrifice wheel.”

The Eridian visitors clearly do not know what to make of that. “We think we misunderstood Savior Grace’s word,” they say, apparently hoping this is a vocabulary mix-up. “Explain (question, polite)?”

“Didn’t misunderstand,” says Rocky, sounding very sheepish. “That is sacrifice wheel.”

“So. While we were on our way to Erid, we might have gotten… anxious about each other’s well-being,” Grace says, which everyone is already very aware is a wild understatement. “And, well, you heard what happened at Tau Ceti, and after. There were a lot of unexpected dangers for the whole trip that required a lot of, at least, attempted self-sacrifice to solve. We ended up almost dying for each other several times. And we had an argument about what we’d do if another crisis like that came up. And we couldn't agree.”

“Grace argued that Grace already was unlikely to survive long-term on Erid, so he should be the one to do any potential deadly but necessary maneuvers to make sure I was able to bring taumoeba back,” Rocky says.

“Which made sense.”

“Did not make sense! Grace already sacrificed so much for me and for Erid, wouldn’t be fair to make you do it again—“ Rocky cuts himself off with a huff. They have obviously had this conversation before. “So sacrifice wheel was compromise.”

“Yeah,” Grace says. He spins it to demonstrate; it whirls around in a blur and a rattle of the flap hitting the pegs, then eventually slows down, and stops—pointing at the segment depicting a very bad but very clear image of an Eridian. “Rocky made the wheel, I spin the wheel, and whoever it lands on, that’s who gets to sacrifice themself to save the other and the other person does not get to argue. This way, we wouldn’t waste time debating who does the self-sacrifice and who survives, it’s just a plain fifty-fifty chance. Or, eighteen-eighteen chance in base six. But the point is it could be either of us and we would have to accept the outcome.”

Rocky started fidgeting while Grace was explaining. When Grace finishes, proud of the equitable solution they came up with to allow them to die for each other fairly, Rocky says, “Now that we are back and we don’t need sacrifice wheel anymore… I have confession to make. About the wheel.”

“What about the wheel?”

Rocky doesn’t answer. Grace frowns, first confused, then suspicious, and spins the wheel again.

It lands on Rocky again.

He spins the wheel again, and again, and again, and it lands on Rocky every single time.

“Rocky!”

“I weighted the wheel,” Rocky admits.

“Rocky the whole point was that it was equal, that was why we even made it—“

“Never was necessary so doesn’t matter anymore!”

“But you WOULD have!”

“And you never noticed because you were hungry and cranky and distracted and so would have done bad job on heroic self-sacrifice anyway!”

“I would not! I would have done fine!”

(The Eridian scientists and diplomats are still here watching this btw. Slowly dawning on them that 1) these two are extremely not normal about each other 2) if Erid ever does another space mission they NEED to send a therapist aboard because this is what happens when they don’t)