Mom was born with Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, a disease of the heart, which caused any kind of sustained activity to be tiresome for her. Later in life, she also had kidney disease and had to be on dialysis 3-4 times a week. She was on two kidney transplant lists, but because of her heart condition and weak, frail frame, she never got "the call" despite being on the lists for a decade. Needless to say, her everyday life was more difficult than many of us will ever understand.
She chose to see every day as a miracle. She wasn't a perfect person. She was harsh at times and held our family to unrealistic and unattainable standards. Regardless, she had much to offer in the way of life experience because of her many trials (the topic of a future blog). The greatest lesson I ever learned from her was that God is in control. There was no, "God is in control, but...", only "God is in control". It was a simple, childlike outlook. At times it seemed like a mask she put on when things were especially difficult. But to this day, four and a half years after she passed, I haven't recalled a moment in her life when I thought that outlook was fake for her. She really believed it.
People used to comment all the time that her attitude and demeanor was so positive in spite of her bleek circumstances. It was true. She never let anyone believe any different. God was in control in her life -- no matter how bad things got or how simple things seemed to be.
Growing up with someone like that has dramatically affected my outlook as well. I have learned to see everyday as a miracle. And I really believe it. I have learned to trust God with even the most seemingly menial and ridiculous things as well as the life-changing moments that have come along. The funny thing is, when you have the right glasses on, the most seemingly menial thing can turn into a life-changing moment.
I've seen miracles more often than a lot of people. Not because I'm more spiritual and certainly not because I'm a better person. Not because it's just some silly way of saying I don't understand how this or that thing actually happened. Not because I choose to call something cool that happened a "miracle" to tell a neat story. But simply because I'm looking for them, and they happen.
Now when I say "miracle", I'm not talking about some white flash of light, accompanied by a woman in bleached clothes speaking softly to me as I kneel awestruck before her. I'm talking about tangible experiences. I'm talking about God doing something that He would otherwise not do if I hadn't prayed for Him to move. I'm talking about the physically impossible becoming a reality.
I've always liked the saying from Louis Pasteur, "Chance favors only the prepared mind." I think it's undeniably true. You've experience perhaps as many miracles as I have. The difference is that I've seen them. I've watched for them. I've asked for them.
With our recent move to Oregon, we've had to register all of our vehicles here as well. Oregon requires that any new-to-Oregon car get smogged. So when I went to the DMV to take care of everything, the DMV dude sent me to the Smog Station to take care of it.
When I got there, the lady running the test noticed that my check engine light was on.
"Just so you know, you probably won't pass. That check engine light is going to spit out a code that will fail the test" she said. "It'll be $19 if it passes."
Sure enough, the Golf failed the smog test. The worst $19 I ever saved. As I rolled out of the smog station, I texted Linz to tell her. I immediately started praying. We needed to register the Golf in Oregon or soon we would face fines for late registration.
"God, you know our need and you know the outcome of this already. Show us what to do" I prayed.
The next day I began looking up what exactly the problem was so I could take it in to a mechanic as an informed customer. Linz needed to run some errands, so she took the Golf and was out for a while.
I heard the buzz of a text on my iPhone, "bzz bzz", I checked to see who it was. It was Linz.
"Check engine light off" it read. No big deal. Except the check engine light has been on, everyday, relentlessly staring us down, nonstop, for almost a year. There's a problem with the cooling system in our VW Golf. It doesn't affect the everyday driving of the car and since we don't really have the money to take care of it right now, we haven't.
I got the text late Friday afternoon, and the smog station was closed. So we prayed that the light would stay off until the next morning when I could take the car in and hopefully pass the test.
Every mile I drove to the smog station was a mile closer to victory. I prayed the whole way, "Lord, you know our needs."
I pulled into the smog station, light still off. The attendant hooked up the Golf, engine running, light still off. I stood inside as he watched the monitor closely.
"Ok, that'll be $19," he said.
I let out a breath of relief like I had gotten away with something. I paid, took my paperwork, got in the car and drove away. I parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot next to the station and texted Linz, "Pass".
As I pulled away, I was amazed and thankful to God. I prayed and thanked God for allowing the car to pass so we wouldn't have to spend more money on late fees while we got the car fixed.
BEEEEEEP! As I finished my prayer the Check Engine Light turned back on.
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