things ive never said

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗. // 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎.

[sakura-hayashii]

02.26.24 - 1:28 pm

i was drunk on your love… and now that im sober… i realize it probably was never real from the start. im just another driver who missed the exit sign on the highway to heartbreak.

- S.H. // things ive never said #14 (via 2amthoughts)

[sakura-hayashii]

yes, you can love someone without loving yourself.

but why would i pour all my love into someone who can leave me broken?

why would i do that when i could love myself, and convince myself that i am worth love?

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

11.29.24 - 12:55 pm // A Love Online

i want you to fall in love with a girl who isnt in a screen. a girl that you can see and hold damn near everyday if not everyday. i want you to be able to see her smile and laugh in real time. i want you to be able to go on cute dates... to be able to look her in the eyes when you tuck her hair behind her ear. i want you to be able to hold her hand when youre sick... and to be able to lay with her when you struggle to sleep. i want you to fall in love with the way she says your name and the way she laughs at your corny joke. i want you to fall in love with the way her whole face lights up when she sees you and the way her eyes sparkle when she smiles. i want you to have a romance novel type love... the one that i can never give you. so all i can say is that you forever have my heart. you dont have to tend to it and care for it... but just hold on to it for me. and i wish on every shooting star, dandelion, and 11:11 that we will cross paths in another lifetime. if we do... maybe... just maybe... that will be the lifetime where we can be together. the lifetime where we can hold hands and never have to let go. i love you... unconditionally... never forget that.

- S.H. // things ive never said #25 (via 2amthoughts)

[sakura-hayashii]

09.23.24 - 10:14 pm

never again will i be the "low maintenance girlfriend.” that is no longer an image i want to keep up with, just so a damn boy feels like he can do the bare minimum and still have me around. i like flowers i dont have to ask for... i like dates that i dont have to plan... i like reassurance... i like letters, notes, long texts... i like people cooking for me... i like acts of service and small surprises... and im so fuckin tired of pretending that i dont. pretending just because this generation of “men” dont want to learn how to put in more fucking effort.

- S.H. // things ive never said #24 (via 2amthoughts)

[sakura-hayashii]

its okay, i just feel bad for you. you broke someone who was trying to help you fix yourself.

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

your love was music to my ears... i thought it was real and raw. i never would have guessed you expressed your love in auto tone.

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

you told me you loved me. you said forever and always. you told me that a world without me is a world not worth living in.

so can you blame me? can you really blame me for not wanting to let go?

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

05.04.24 - 3:24 pm

i think im just waiting for someone to love me so i can finally convince myself im worth the time and energy. its like when something becomes a trend, one person does it, and suddenly its a domino effect. so please, someone love me; so i can be a part of that domino effect.

- S.H. // things ive never said #24 (via 2amthoughts)

[sakura-hayashii]

while i was fighting for your love, you were fighting against my love.

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

what did you think i was gunna do, just forgive and forget the pain you put me through? i loved you, yet you turned my love into a struggle.

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

you never really loved me, you just wanted to fill the uncontrollable emptiness that you carried inside for so long.

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

i loved you, but you didnt deserve my love.

i would hate you, but you dont deserve my hate either.

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

i think the reason i feel like im in pieces is because i give a piece of myself to everyone i love. but when they eventually leave, im too scared to ask for that piece back. so all i can do i stand there and watch as they take a piece of me with them.

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

you dont believe that i love you. but if i told you that my love for you at times drives me to the point of insanity, would you then believe me?

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

i hope that someday i will be able to love myself the way i want others to love me. and hopefully by then, hopefully you will be ready to love me for me as well.

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

when it comes to loving you, i go to war with my own mind.

- S.H.

[sakura-hayashii]

i hope that someday someone will come across my pain. that someday someone will discover my my messy words written all over crumpled napkins, plane tickets, and receipts. and when they read them, i hope they see the war i fought with not just others, but with myself to get to where i stand.

- S.H.