An Analysis of the Colour Distribution in Skittles
After a series of recent life changes I found myself in the situation where I had the option to watch daytime TV. Whilst I generally do not watch TV due to its ability to sedate entire nations my curiosity got the better of me and I sat down one morning to watch the Wright Stuff.
By the end of the morning I was enraged. Amongst the flurry of adverts for debt collection, big name electrical goods sold on credit and knock-off Dairylea a great idea came to me. I witnessed a particularly pointless conversation about the ‘stereotypicalness’ of casting a Pakistani family running a pharmacy in Midsomer Murder, and I started to question something:
I decided to investigate whether the discrimination of colour presented before me in the Wright Stuff could also be applied to other areas of life. Using the facts displayed before me, I would then be able to draw a logical conclusion based on cold hard scientific evidence.
I decided to look to an area of my life which means a lot to me when it comes to colour.
I decided to ask another question, a question that I thought was much more relevant to society than wondering what colour people get cast in Midsomer Murders….
‘Do Skittles discriminate against colour and if so, why?’
There were a series of considerations that I had to make before conducting the experiment to ensure that it was conducted in a scientific manner:
- Sample Size – How large a sample should I take? One packet? Many packets?
- How should I present the results? Can I present the results in a way which visually engages people? Should I be aspiring to icons such as Dave Gorman and David McCandless in delivering the results of my scientific endeavours?
- What if the results shock me? What if I unleash something so important that it could change the course of history, destroying civilisations and changing humanity… forever?
- Where on earth is my project consultant?
I had to look at the general picture, the budget for the project was whatever I had in my back pocket at the time and seeing as they stopped selling Skittles on offer in the local Sainsbury’s I was only able to procure one pack of Skittles. (I am aware of course that this pretty much invalidates the whole experiment)
I then had a choice – Do I present the results of my experiment in a logical but easy to read format or do I just arrange the Skittles in a pattern of a psychedelic flower and hope for the best? I decided to go for the former, because I wanted to satisfy my desire to quantify and compare things. I decided to present the results in the form of a horizontal bar chart.
I had to steel myself for what the results might be. One of two things may happen. The first result would be that the colours in a packet of Skittles were distributed unevenly. This would validate the fact that one colour would be seen as more significant than the other due to it occurring in a greater quantity than all the others, and thus colour discrimination would occur.
(This would be a particularly distressing situation for someone who was given a bag of Skittles that discriminated in favour of green Skittles, their least favourite colour.)
The second result would be that the colours in a packet of Skittles were distributed evenly. This would validate the fact that there was no colour discrimination in a packet of Skittles and thus I could eat them all immediately.
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT THIS IS A REAL SCIENCE EXPERIMENT?
One of the dangers of conducting this task is that some of the skittles might accidentally fly into nearby orifices such as my mouth. In order to counteract this risk, (which would skew the results somewhat unfairly as the full packet will not be analysed) I had my tea on standby just in case – lentil dhal and homemade bread are very efficient deflectors of stray candy-based objects…for now.
I sat down to conduct the experiment in my laboratory, carefully laying out the Skittles in the format of a horizontal bar chart.
I cut open the bag and poured the contents onto the table, making sure that none of them accidentally fell into my mouth or onto the floor. I started at the bottom with red and then followed it with purple. My heart started to race when I realised that the quantities of red and purple skittles were the same! My mind blew with the prospect that a total balance in colours would be achieved, ensuring that the contents of the packet would display a political correctness of the highest order…
On arranging the other colours however, it became apparent that one colour existed in a greater quantity than all the other colours. At this point I found it necessary to call in my Project Consultant, Argyle. Argyle was recommended to me because of his strong skills in lighting and effects for film and television, having watched some Alfred Hitchcock films earlier that day.
Argyle was instrumental in assisting me with capturing the results of the experiment. Due to the restrictive project budget, my laboratory consisted of an old dining room table in a dark room and the lighting conditions were not favourable for the experiment. In addition, I was taking photographic evidence on a 3 year old knock off smart phone. His expert placement in the room of some small lamps meant that I could capture the evidence and show the colour distribution as best as I could.
Orange wins, followed by green.
I sighed, because orange and green were pretty lame colours.
I was confused by this and was determined to find out why this happened. Armed with the philosophy that ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’ I contacted Skittles themselves to enquire as to why this situation had occurred. Their response astounded me and brought fear into my soul. The reason that orange and green had precedence over all the other colours was to represent an ethnic minority that was renowned for their work in the confectionery industry.
The reason that Skittles discriminated in favour of orange and green was in order to pay homage to… Oompa-Loompas. This enforced discrimination in favour of Oompa-Loompas occurred after extensive underground lobbying for many years by the National Association for the Fair Representation of Oompa-Loompas (NAFRO).
At this point the Oompa-Loompa song started to play incessantly in my head, rendering me in a state of extreme distress and caused me to compulsively do star jumps and cartwheels in my laboratory whilst holding a candy cane and a squirrel. (The squirrel cannot be named for legal reasons.)
It was only when my Project Consultant decided that the antidote for this problem was to feed me and the squirrel some red and purple Skittles that I started to calm down a little and regain my bearings. It did not take me long to polish off the rest of the Skittles and soon I was able to feel normal again, the Oompa-Loompa song being replaced by my own internal chatterings…
DISCLAIMER: All of the Skittles involved in this experiment met a brutal and untimely death.
ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: Although the vast majority of this report is real, the last part is entirely fictional and should not be misconstrued as to cause offense to Skittles, or Oompa-Loompas.
