@sallycinnamoon - Tumblr Blog

The law of attraction is so real. I swear, once you establish yourself as powerful, or strong, or independent, or business minded, people like you will flock your way out of nowhere. And it’s just the universe reminding you that when you can see something beautiful in yourself, others can see it and admire it as well.

wonders-of-the-cosmos

Saturn observed by space probe Voyager 1 on November 16, 1980

Credit: NASA

angelswouldnthelpyou

shoppingstars

if your parents never taught you to identify your feelings when you were a kid. if your parents never paid enough attention to you when you were a kid. if you suffered/suffer from emotional abuse, let me tell you something: it’s not your fault. it’s okay if it’s hard to express your feelings. it’s okay if you can’t trust people to vent about what’s going on your head. it’s okay if you feel like no one understand you. it’s NOT your fault.

you can always have a new chance. a new beggining.

thatdiabolicalfeminist

In any peer relationship there are going to be choices you make together, things you have to agree on, like what kind of relationship it is, what level and kinds of intimacy you want to share together, etc. And both of you are going to have to be honest about your needs and boundaries.

In a dating/romantic/sexual relationship, monogamy (or not) is one of those things that you have to talk about and decide on together - just like how much time you want to spend together or whether you’ll have sex, etc. That’s part of forming that relationship, the communication about what you each want and need from the relationship.

And yeah, there will sometimes be conflicting preferences or needs that make an agreement impossible to reach. If that happens, if you can’t agree about the fundamental questions about what your relationship will be like, maybe you can’t be in that relationship.

And that sucks, I know, but you have to have that conversation and you have to be honest about your needs and priorities, and if yours lined up with theirs before but somewhere along the way they started to conflict - you have to talk about that too. You can’t just break the agreement without telling them, or try to pressure someone into a type of relationship they don’t want.

Sometimes it doesn’t work out. But it’s better to acknowledge that than to manipulate someone, or lie about what kind of relationship you’re in and deny the other person the chance to make informed choices.

thatdiabolicalfeminist

If you set a boundary and someone else is disappointed or angry or upset, that reaction does not mean you’re not allowed to set boundaries or that it was wrong of you to do that.

If you ask someone for something and they say no, that does not mean you shouldn’t ask for things or that it was wrong of you to ask. Saying no to something, even if you really want it, is not (by itself) an attack on you, either.

There will be times in every good relationship where one person says no to what the other person wants. And there will be times when that answer feels bad to the other person.

That can be uncomfortable, but it’s healthy and good to be able to say no to each other. It’s healthy and good to ask each other for things and give the other person the chance to say yes or no. It’s healthy and good for each of you to be able to hear “no” and accept it even when it’s disappointing.

It’s healthy and good to own your emotional reaction and make sure you both agree that being upset is a normal and manageable feeling, not a crisis that requires someone to give up their boundaries.