Sallying

sal·ly ('sa-lE) def. 1. To Rush Forward; to Leap and Dance 2. A Sudden Outburst; a Witticism; a Quip 3. A Venture Off the Beaten Path var sc_project=11748202; var sc_invisible=0; var sc_security="eba164cb"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[sallying]

You don’t steal someone’s car unless they love you

-- Sally, 1999

[sallying]

Me: If Andy Kaufman came back today, it’s been so long no one would even get the joke

Huey: But wouldn’t he think that made it the best joke ever?

Me:

Me:

Me: Whoa…

Louie: Right?

[sallying]

Flashback

Pete: Maybe you can answer this question: Why does everyone dance holding one hand in the air? Sally: Because we have a beer in the other one

[sallying]

ALEXA, DAY 2

Pat: Alexa, play Russian music

Alexa: Sorry, you don't have that in your cloud music

Pat: Alexa, play Hungarian music

Alexa: Sorry, I don't have that

Pat: Damn, Sally what do you have?

Sally: I got this... Alexa, play 80's synth pop...

Pat: Alexa STOP

Sally: Alexa, play hair metal power ballad

*Tesla's "Love Song" comes on*

Pat: This song offends me

Sally: You're offended as the voice of a generation?

Pat: I'm offended as a DRUMMER!!

[sallying]

MY AMAZON ALEXA ARRIVED TODAY, AND SINCE WE UNPACKED IT, MY AFTERNOON HAS GONE LIKE THIS:

Pat: Alexa, what is the meaning of life?

Pat: Alexa, play some Irish music

Sally: ALEXA STOP

Pat: Alexa, how long do cats live?

Pat: Alexa, who invented liquid soap and why?

Pat: Alexa, put "gum" on my shopping list

Pat: Alexa, where is my shopping list?

Pat: Alexa, what is the weather going to be like in Alexandria, Virginia a week from Tuesday?

(Those of you with toddlers get it, I'm sure.)

Pat: Alexa, do I look fat in this?

Pat: Alexa, play some Irish music

Sally: ALEXA STOP!!!!!!!

Pat: Alexa, what do you think of Donald Trump?

Pat: Alexa, do you know who I am?

[sallying]

I’d love to be Bryce Harper’s dick, for just one day. Half a day. Hell, I’d take an hour"

I promised if I posted this, I would not say who it was.

[sallying]

I’m “Maybe I should call a cab to take me from the Starboard to the Rudder” years old, apparently

-- Sally, June 2018

[sallying]

Lately I’m more optimistic about the future of my marriage. I caught my husband on Tinder, so hopefully he’ll meet somebody soon

Overheard in Dewey Beach, probably

[sallying]

Bernie Guy: Your way doesn't help *everybody*

Hillary Girl: Your way doesn't help ANYBODY

Guy: But it could!

Girl: But it won't!

Guy: ...

Girl: ...

Guy: ...

Girl: So should we just go make out?

#Unity

[sallying]

Pro-tip: There is always a hotter girl.

Words to Live By

[sallying]

Get over yourself, Pete. My high school girlfriends aren’t calling up all offended that I made fun of cow-tipping…

Steve K, December 19, 2014

[sallying]

Out of town guest: What was that hole in the wall place we went to that time?

Sally: *Don’t say Dan’s Cafe*

OOT2: In Adams Morgan

Sally: *Don’t say Dan’s Cafe*

OOT3: Ya with the ketchup bottles

Sally: *Don’t*

OOT4: And airplane liquor

Sally: *Noooooo*

OOT1: Sally?

Sally: Um, I don’t know any places like that. Let’s go back to the Hill.

Because Adult.

[sallying]

Ralph: ... No, that was ANOTHER time Sally tried to use the men's room and got us kicked out of a bar

Rich: That happens to her a lot

Me: Ya, that's really all I get kicked out of bars for anymore

[sallying]

I hate playing "Never Have I Ever" -  I always lose.

Overheard in Dewey

[sallying]

There's no excuse for being bad in bed. Unless you're drunk.

[sallying]

If Monica Lewinsky banged the President these days she'd be bigger than Taylor Swift.

[sallying]

Huey: What are you doing here?

Louie: Oh, you know, I had this move... so I came here to bust it.

"How I Met Your Mother"