sam winchester has done nothing wrong in his life

you apologise to him

[samcrit]

dean, i’m so sorry i said all those horrible things about you but in my defence i was just trying to hurt your feelings

and they’re true

[samcrit]

Okay but sam can literally take the whole thing

oh my silly turtledove. he can and he does. he’s bouncing on it right now. and later i’ll be bouncing on it. only clowns deal in absolutes and deny themselves pleasures

[samcrit]

how DARE you assume sam can’t top and be abused. if anyone has the range it’s him. go sit on the naughty step

[samcrit]

so so so so compelled by the dissonance between dean being described as the best lay of lisa’s life and the reality of the incredibly vanilla sex we actually saw dean having. if you just tell us your character is good at getting down and dirty but then only show them doing perfunctory missionary what conclusions are we supposed to draw?? especially when another character is passionately bloodfucking and making sex workers forget they should be getting paid!

[samcrit]

being a dean understander and a dean enjoyer are mutually exclusive. sam however is enjoyable whether u understand him or not

[samcrit]

goddess knows i do NOT understand it but if for some reason you actually do like dean, like him for his actual characteristics instead of sam qualities you’ve mistakenly assigned to him

[samcrit]

incredibly funny that the longer dean spent with sam the more he just gave up on intelligence. bro literally forgot what an achilles heel was cause he knew he could rely on sam to do the thinking for him. deeply embarrassing of course but sam looks so pretty when he’s concentrating so i guess i’ll allow it

[samcrit]

say what you like about gadreel but he got it. he understood. once you’re no longer inside sam winchester there IS no point in living

[samcrit]

bee tea dubs sam has a mole on his [REDACTED]

[samcrit]

literally every single one of sam’s fears is extremely justified. clowns? he was attacked by them MULTIPLE times. lucifer? self evident. loss of autonomy? he lost it more often than he had it

and then what’s dean afraid of? flying? name one time he died on a plane

[samcrit]

actually maybe the parentification of dean winchester is good if it’s followed to its logical conclusion, which is that if dean is sam’s mother then that makes him jack’s grandma

[samcrit]

people who think dean is gay are really just picking up on how he’s too misogynistic to ever have an equal relationship with a woman so he can never truly love them. he’s not queer he just hates women

[samcrit]

42 is the perfect age for him cause he IS the answer to the life the universe and everything

[samcrit]

he* is risen

*sam winchester

[samcrit]

aw worstie, the widower arc isn’t real. dean would have been the exact same level of chuffed if crowley came back to life instead of cas

[samcrit]

dean winchester heard umberto eco say “thinking is a form of emasculation” and integrated it into his belief system without pausing to absorb a single iota of context

[samcrit]

Is it that Jensen's too afraid of getting a wrinkle, or is it that the botox makes it impossible for him to do anything besides microexpressions?

¿porque no los dos?