sup gamers

i'm sam. send me good games and i'll play 'em just for you.

[samplays]

“Hey y’all, Sam here, back with a second video for the day where I haven’t even gotten up and moved because...we like winning here. Anyway, you guys had some assumptions about me, and now I’m gonna respond to ‘em. Fun times. Let’s get right into it.”

ASSUMPTION: You’re kind of a fuck boy.

Urban Dictionary tells me that a fuck boy is an ‘asshole boy who is into strictly sexual relationships; he will lead a girl on and let her down, then apologize only to ask for pics once the girl has welcomed him back into her trust.’ Listen... that’s not my style. I don’t know where you’re getting your information from, but tell them they hurt my feelings. I’m kidding. But still. Rude.

ASSUMPTION: You use an entire tube of chapstick a day.

That is a bit much. Also, bold of you to assume I can use an entire tube of chapstick, period. I lose them all the time. I do use a lot of chapstick, though. Just maybe tone down your exaggerations.

ASSUMPTION: You can't stop playing video games even for a day.

Again. A bit much. I’ve definitely gone a few days without playing video games. It’s not one of those weird things where I don’t leave my room or see sunlight for days on end. ...Only when it’s necessary.

ASSUMPTION: You've stuck tennis balls in your mouth to see how big it really is.

No, I can honestly tell you I’ve never put tennis balls in my mouth. And I can also honestly tell you that I never will because that’s super strange and doesn't seem like a very healthy measure of mouth size.

ASSUMPTION: Your favorite super hero is Captain America.

This is rude and uncalled for and obviously not true.

ASSUMPTION: You wonder how things would be different if you were raised a different way.

Sure, I’ve wondered sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I’d want things to be different. The way I was raised is the best it could ever be.

ASSUMPTION: You're overprotective of your siblings.

Protective, maybe. I wouldn’t say overprotective. They’re adults, you know? They’re doing their thing and I’m doing mine. But, you know, someone hurts them, that’s another story. For real though, I’ll have their back however I can.

[samplays]

"Hey y’all, Sam here. Hope you’re all havin’ an awesome day. Today we’re gonna sit here so y’all can get to know me on a deeper level by learning 30 facts about myself. I’m surprised I could even come up with that many, so I hope it’s worth it. Okay, here we go!”

I’m named after my dad. Samuel Dwight Evans, my dad’s name is Dwight... yeah, you know how names work.

I’m totally a night owl. It takes me forever to get up in the morning. I have to set tons of alarms, I’m super cranky for a while... it’s a mess.

I’m really into space and have been since I was a kid. I love looking at the starts, finding the planets, all that stuff.

I love milkshakes. Chocolate milkshakes are literally my kryptonite.

I’m left handed.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was in third grade. Took ‘em a little while to figure out why I wasn’t anywhere near the same level as anybody else, I guess. A lot of the stuff that was hard for me as a kid is a lot easier as an adult so it doesn’t get in the way as much as it did then, so. Yeah.

I collect comic books, surprising absolutely no one.

Also surprising no one: Steve Rogers is my all time favorite character.

And in case you’ve been living under a rock, one more unsurprising fact: my husky Roger is, in fact, named after Steve Rogers. He’s also my best buddy.

My room can get a little messy but I’ve actually gotten way better at keeping stuff organized the older I’ve gotten. I guess when you actually have to be serious and work on stuff and know where things are, it sorta becomes a necessity.

I could probably live on the beach. I never get tired of it.

I try to be like fifteen minutes early to everything.

I make a pretty mean cocktail. If you’re ever lookin’ for a good Old Fashioned, I’m your guy.

I’m 6 feet tall, which...I guess this is technically not a fun fact about me, but means I’m the same height as my younger brother. Still my little brother though.

I was the quarterback in high school. I still like football a lot but haven’t had a chance to play since back then.

We did a lot of outdoorsy stuff as a family. Like camping and hiking and all that. I’m still really into that stuff and like doing it with other people, so I think that definitely had a huge impact on me.

I want to learn how to play piano. I think it’d be fun.

I can speak...at least a little bit of two fictional languages. Na’vi and Klingon. And they said I didn’t make good use of my time when I was in school. Psh.

I really want kids someday. Like, not right now or anything, but the way my family’s always been made me want that for myself, for sure.

I grew up in Nashville and it was the best. I think about going back there a lot.

I actually like going to the dentist, which I know sounds super weird, but it’s never really been unpleasant for me and I get super pumped about getting a free toothbrush.

I used to be a boy scout. I kind of hated it.

I had a phase when I was younger where I wanted to be a vet when I grew up ‘cause I’ve always loved animals so much. I think I wanted to be one of those ones who does like house calls so I could tend to farm animals and all that too. Then I realized that takes a lot more school than I originally thought, so that was outta the question.

If we don’t count any Marvel or Star Wars, I’d say some of my favorite movies are probably The Shining, Shawshank Redemption, Back to the Future... also a big fan of Grease, and obviously Shrek 2 is an undying classic.

I kind of want to release like, a whole comedy album or just an EP of the songs I come up with, ‘cause I have a lot of fun with those and think it could do pretty well. I haven’t really sat down and planned any of that out yet though.

If I can’t get a milkshake for some reason, my second go-to dessert is cheesecake. Especially the kind with strawberries on top.

I never actually thought about my lips until people started bringing it up. High school and the internet are both funny places.

Summer is hands down my favorite season, but I’m also a sucker for a day well spent during winter. Like going ice skating or whatever, then doing the whole hot chocolate, Christmas movies by the fireplace in sweaters thing? I love that stuff.

My birthday’s May 5th so I’m a Taurus, and for the most part I think Taurus traits are pretty accurate to me. The May 5th birthday has also given me awesome Star Wars reference material, even if I just missed May the Fourth. ‘Cause, y’know, Revenge of the Fifth and all that.

I’ve definitely run out of stuff to say by now, so I’ll go with something everybody knows about me which is that my family’s everything to me. I love my parents and I’d literally do anything for my little brother and sister.

[samplays]

[samplays]

SAM EVANS’ 3 MOST RECENT UPLOADS (part 2).

2. reacting to my brother’s old vines @therealstevee

[ wc: 203 ] "Hey y’all, how’s it goin’? Hope you’re all havin’ an awesome day. Today I’m gonna be doing a video y’all have actually been requesting a lot, maybe ‘cause he’s already done it himself and now you want my take on the madness. Whatever your reasons are, I finally decided to give ya what ya want, and go ahead and make this video reacting to my little brother’s old vines. Most of you know my brother Stevie ― if you don’t, there’s a link to his channel in the description, and you should totally go check out his stuff and like and subscribe and all that good stuff. Especially if you dig his vines, ‘cause his videos are kinda similar, only way better. Plus, I make an appearance over there every now and then. But anyway, Stevie’s super awesome and hilarious and is just the best at makin’ people smile, so his vines back in the day were pretty top notch. I haven’t seen ‘em in a while ‘cause, y’know, RIP Vine, but I’m gonna pull up a little compilation here and just have some fun. So...disclaimer, I love you Stevie, you’re the best, now I’m gonna make fun of you. Let’s get started.”

3. THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE - Mario Maker 2 - Ep. 3

[ wc: 138 ] "OKAY. Welcome back y’all, hope you’re all havin’ an awesome day. We’re back with episode three of Super Mario Maker 2, and as you can see, this same level from the last ep is still impossible, and it is testing my patience. I even played it off camera a little, and made absolutely no progress. It just ain’t happening. But you know what? We’re gonna keep pushin’ through, and we’re gonna see if we can beat this damn thing. I’m gonna give it another, let’s say, five tries, before I gotta call it quits and―dammit! Four tries, then I gotta move on, for my own sanity and for the content. I can’t have this series ruining my rep as a video game expert, y’know? ...yeah, I’m not an expert, I know, but it’s still―shoot. ‘Kay, three to go.”

[samplays]

SAM EVANS’ 3 MOST RECENT UPLOADS (part 1).

1. the butt song (ft. marley rose) ▶ [ LINK ] @themarleyshow

Sam didn't know exactly where the idea came from, but when he and Marley got together to film a duet for her channel, he figured he could get her in on his usual type of musical content as well. So they ended up with this...weird medley of songs about butts, and Sam knew it was going to be a hit. "I really hope this isn't a repeat of a cover you've already done on your channel," he said playfully, tuning up his guitar as it sat in his lap.

Marley laughed, playing a few strings on her ukulele playfully and smiling, "This is definitely one of the weirdest things I've done on the platform, but hey, anything for content," she winked at the camera and put her capo in place, "What are the odds of this ending up with like, a million bloopers?"

"That's the spirit!" Sam shrugged, finishing up with the last string and casting a glance toward Marley. "I'm gonna say...pretty good odds? Mostly 'cause I don't usually do this type of stuff with another person." But he had a good feeling about it. "I kinda feel like we should just like, go for it, y'know? Let it speak for itself, do an intro at the end."

Marley nodded, tossing her hair over her shoulder and playfully strumming a chord, "You got it, boss," she said with a laugh. "I'll count us off. And 1.....2,.....3 - What'cha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk?!"

Sam, strumming along, looked over at Marley with a serious face. "I'm gonna get get get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump." He immediately broke into a smile though, and there was blooper number one. "Wait. I think we skipped a whole part." He shook his head. "Maybe we should do an intro first and I'll just edit it at the end so we can get our shit together," he suggested with a laugh.

[samplays]

@SAMEVANS VIA INSTAGRAM STORY (july 26, 2019).

“hey guys, what’s up? so IHQ’s vlog wars have officially taken off and the evans fam will be reppin’ the reese’s pieces team with a bunch’a other cool people. make sure you tune in to all the livestreams so you can stay updated on the fun, and all the proceeds i’m playin’ for will be going toward feeding america, which is an awesome hunger-relief organization. let’s get it, y’all.”

[chriswoofs]

[smythehq-deactivated20190920]

When  → Thursday, July 4, 2019

Where  → Sebastian’s Apartment

Who  → Sebastian Smythe & Sam Evans

Tagging  → @smythehq, @samplays (tiny roast of @therealstevee), slight godmodding of teenaged @spencer-hq

Warnings  → there’s nothing too juicy, sex happened but it fades to black because this thread is 86 years over due.

Keep reading

[samplays]

iMESSAGES 📲 SERIN.

ERIN: YES! Absolutely. The hottest date of Sammyyyyy.

ERIN: I'm excited. We need lots of yummy food too.

SAM: 🔥🔥🔥

SAM: duh, that’s a given. i’ve been craving a milkshake for like weeks now so we gotta do that.

[samplays]

📲 sebastian ⇄ sam

SEBASTIAN: Well can't wait to get to know all your secrets.

SEBASTIAN: I'll have to check, but I want to say it was the latest avengers? There was at least 4 guys named Chris in it I'm pretty sure.

SEBASTIAN: He really is. I'm honored to get to hang out with Rog.

SEBASTIAN: Great. See you then.

SAM: that’s... WAY better than just “a superhero movie”. wow. and the more chrises, the better.

SAM: as you should be.

[samplays]

TEXT 📲 ( sam & connor. )

CONNOR: i should read up on this more.

CONNOR: it's cool. i feel like i deserve it anyway.

CONNOR: ...this is why you're my bro. you just GET ME. i still need to get like 3 of the legendary animals so you're gonna help me.

SAM: you should. it’s pretty sweet.

SAM: i doubt that.

SAM: duh, of course. you get the cougar yet? that was the worst one for some reason. took me like five hours.

[samplays]

iMESSAGES 📲 SERIN.

ERIN: We're freakin' ADORABLE, Sammy.

ERIN: Heck yes! That's exactly what I want. When can we do this?

SAM: tomorrow?

SAM: so if you don’t have a hot date planned for your friday night... you do now.

[samplays]

themarleyshow‌:

DATE & TIME: July 19th 2019, morning

LOCATION: campus cafe.

OPEN TO: Sam Evans @samplays

WARNINGS: none.

Marley had quite the sweet mini vacation with her sister and friends, returning to headquarters sun kissed and much more relaxed than she thought possible. There was no denying that it had been a hectic week, a rollercoaster of emotions that were almost all negative. However, there was nothing like the ocean to wash them away and nothing like the company of her friends to bring her back to life. 

She was having a little bit of breakfast this morning, glad to be home as she ate her blueberry pancakes with a mimosa on the side, people watching and reflecting on the days prior. It was a few minutes into this that she noticed a friendly face - Sam Evans, her potential future “dad” and much sought after collab partner. 

“Sam!” Marley called, “Come sit with me,” she said, beckoning him over with a grin. 

There were few things Sam enjoyed more after a long week than waffles. They were without a doubt the best breakfast food and that was a fact he’d stand by forever. He was getting ready to put away like ten of them when someone called him over, and Marley was certainly a friendly face he wouldn’t say no to. “Can do,” he said as he joined her where she currently sat. “How are ya this fine day?”

[samplays]

iMESSAGES 📲 SERIN.

ERIN: I love when you say I say cute things to you. 🥺

ERIN: HMMMM. Let's go with strategy! Something complicated. I want a challengeeeee.

SAM: well aren't we just the cutest ❤️

SAM: i think i have a good one. if it hurts my brain it's probably just what you're lookin for.

[samplays]

TEXT 📲 ( sam & toby. )

TOBIAS: Confidence comes before a fall, dude. You. Are. Going. DOWN.

TOBIAS: Are you asking me if I main Pikachu?

SAM: you're all talk. we'll SEE.

SAM: no, it was a separate question out of curiosity.

SAM: that's a valid question tho, so who do you main??

[samplays]

@SAMEVANS ON INSTAGRAM.

( @therealstevee, @staceyevs, @smythehq, @hqandie, @bradyhq, @puckmanhq, @alipucks, @berrytobias, @sophie-hq, @wildehq )

[samplays]

📲 sebastian ⇄ sam

SEBASTIAN: Apparently there's still so much more to learn about you...

SEBASTIAN: I figured, I would have you at superheroes.

SEBASTIAN: Roger's cooler than me. I get it. I respect it.

SEBASTIAN: So Thursday then? My place for dinner?

SAM: i’m obviously full of fun surprises.

SAM: most people usually do. if it involves superheroes i’m like, immediately in. do you know what movie it is? newer one?

SAM: he’s cooler than most people and he knows it.

SAM: sounds perfect. we’ll be there.